I Worked Way Too Hard On This - Tumblr Posts

Why yes I can actually draw how surprising

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So big TTCC fan and I love the new bosses, rainmaker is my favorite and I will fight to the death to defend why she is such a good character.

Anyway teehee actual art, wanted to try something with more style than what I usually do but I had fun with it! ^^

Toxic; I'll Love You Anyway - Adam Stanheight/Reader

A/N Melanie Martinez’s unreleased song - Ring Pop - gave me some serious toxic vibes. And I imagined a new kind of look for Adam. But don’t worry, I’ll stick to the fluff’s from now on…

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You felt the cold seep into your skin. It was quiet tonight, and lonely. You wanted the company again, but you knew that it wasn’t the same - not anymore. You missed the old times, back when everything was right. You had cried yourself to sleep several nights now. In all honesty, this was your life for two years. You didn’t know why you couldn't shake it? Perhaps it was all because you were still haunted by the memories, after all you were still LIVING there.

Your thumb traced over the gift. It was sticky, and smelled like cherries. “I love you,” you whispered, as you stroked the ring pop once more. You didn’t even care that it was making your hands filthy. You would be better once your partner came back - and you knew he would be here very soon. Just a little longer. He had to finish all his work…

But the sight of the other woman’s panites still lingered in your mind, and scarred you. You didn’t want to think about it too much, however it was so daunting. What was with the unfamiliar undergarments? You let out a deep breath into the silent atmosphere, feeling sad. Were you not… good enough for him, anymore?

What was he doing at this moment, you wondered. Was he ACTUALLY doing his work or did just tell you that to make you feel better? You missed Adam Stanheight. Where was he now? You felt like you couldn’t live without him, all you wanted was to feel his embrace again. To kiss him again. Where was he?

Baby, will you be here soon?

“Baddum… a new ring pop…Baddum, a new ring pop…” You murmured to yourself repeatedly. You sank down into the couch when finally a large, white, pool of luminescence portrayed itself on the dark ground, illuminating the room dimly and showcasing the slight silhouette of somebody standing in the doorway. You knew who it was then, and your heart leapt into your throat. It was like finally shooting up after days and days of being away. You ran to him.

Adam greeted you with open arms, as usual. He scooped you up and twirled you once around the room. “Waiting for me in the dark again, I see? What’s with this sudden change of habit?”

You didn’t answer, you just hugged him close. “I love you…”

Adam chuckled. “I love you, too.” It sounded forced, and he pushed past you hastily.

“Adam,” you called. “Why are you home so late? What happened at work? Do I get to know?”

“No.” Adam’s voice echoed strictly through the kitchen and into the living room.

You hung your head disappointedly. “Oh… okay…”

Following him into the kitchen you found him leaning on the counter, attempting to light a cigarette. His hands were trembling too much to keep the lighter down, not to mention his cigarette kept nearly falling from his fingers each time he tried. You stepped up to him so that your bodies were touching, and took both from him. He watched miserably while you steadily held the flame to the cigarette and then let it ignite.

You turned your hand out to him, offering the cigarette back. He lifted your hand up, and closed his lips around the cigarette. Keeping eye contact with you, he took a deep breath in. Immediately upon inhalation Adam’s entire demeanor seemed to change. He seemed slightly more like himself again. You were glad to see him relaxing. “Stressful workday?” You asked him.

“Mmhmm,” Adam mumbled, and nodded.

You stroked a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Adam’s short responses made you feel unappreciated. You were trying your hardest, but why didn’t he want anything to do with you? Why did he always come back to you? “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you staying tonight?”

“Yes.”

Your heart jumped, and you looked excitedly into Adam’s eyes. “Really!?”

“Mhm.”

You flung your arms around his shoulders. “Oh yes! Thank you! I love you so much!”

Adam sighed, and nuzzled your forehead. “What are you still doing up? You know it’s late, you should have been asleep a long time ago.”

You shivered at his stern tone. “Y-Yeah… Well, I was waiting for you… Like I always do…”

“Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll be right there.”

“What? But you’re staying HERE tonight! We should do something fun! Right? Don’t you wanna have a good time while you’re here with me? Remember when we used to stay up ‘till three watching comedies?”

“Y/N…” Adam whispered gravely. He wasn’t looking at you.

Your heart broke. “You don’t want to do that?”

Adam thought carefully, before saying, “I think we’ve moved on from those days.”

Your heart plummeted to earth, your hopes and dreams falling apart right in front of your eyes. You were devastated, tragic. Frantically, you pressed up against Adam, your hands roaming his body and your noses touching. “But… We can stay up… watch adult cartoons?” Then you asked a little more sexily, “Will you blow up the big balloons/balloon? So big that they all go… pop?”

Adam pulled his head back for another quick drag on his cigarette, but he returned it to its close proximity afterwards. “Y/N…”

“Dress up in each other’s clothes?” you continued desperately. “Dance in the dark to jazz? Have bubblegum at midnight? Get tipsy? Turn off the lights and kiss in the corner? Promise…”

Adam leaned his head forward, and he did kiss you. His lips were so wild it drove you mad. You gasped as he got a little… vulgar… You hadn’t kissed him in so long. It felt like forever ago. It was so good, too. You groaned against his lips.

He pushed away from the counter, and guided you backwards across the kitchen. Adam’s mouth left a slimy trail from your lips to your ear. Your socks slipped on the wood floor as you moved back. A couple of random items littered the floor and your feet skidded into them; the feeling of metal and sharp pins stabbed into the bottom of your right foot. You flinched, but kept moving. You rarely ever got Adam like this anymore, you weren’t going to put a stop to it. You closed your eyes as your back pressed onto the cool, sleek, wall.

It was like water on your lips, engulfing your mouth and taking you under again. Your mind was completely still and silent, peaceful and whole, while your surroundings gave you blackness and quietness. And then, just like a ripple coming through, the water surged upward. The wild waves spilled down your cheeks and neck, and got into your mouth; it was your shore. The feelings made you weak.

Adam pushed you further up the wall, making you squeal audibly. He felt out the layout of his partner’s body. You resurfaced, gasping, panting, in dire need of breath. The repetition played before you like a film that was set to loop; no end seemed to ever come of that ocean. You greeted his waves with your own, each time being more eager than that of the last. You were so deeply in love. Fuck…

Adam had started kissing your chest, and both his hands were pushing your head into the wall, so that it was angled up towards the ceiling. You could feel him making his way further and further down, his lips soft as silks. Down, down, down.

Oh what a wonderful feeling.

And then, as Adam neared your waist, he looked up at you, for the first time taking his mouth off your skin. You shivered at the cold spot on your stomach where his lips had been. You returned his gaze. “What’s the matter?” You wondered.

“I love you.” Adam examined your face for a short moment.

Your heart fluttered dramatically. You loved hearing him say that. “I… I love you, too.”

“But I need you to go upstairs for a little bit, okay? I have… things to take care of…”

“Like what?” You asked seductively. “Anything I can help with?” You put a strong emphasis on ‘I’.

“Y/N,” he said seriously.

“I wish you would trust me to tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m just… cleaning up a little bit…”

He means taking care of the mess he made with the other person downstairs…

“Right,” you said dubiously, and trailed off. There was more you wanted to say but you were… not sure how your questions would affect you later so you just turned around and climbed the stairs.

In the bedroom, you switched the light on, and proceeded to get ready for bed. As you displayed yourself majestically on the bed, hoping to get a good reaction from Adam when he joined you, you thought about some things.

It dampened your mood, unfortunately, but you did wonder about Adam’s loyalty. What the hell was the relationship you had with him? It was like you didn’t exist. You were only there for him when he needed you. You wanted Adam’s love again.

Adam smiled at you when he saw the sight waiting for him. “Well, Y/N. What have we here? Is someone asking for something?”

You would have looked excitedly into his eyes, if you weren’t feeling so somber at the moment. You kept your gaze cast down. “Why do you sleep with other people?” You asked him bluntly, your heart beating loudly, shaking you like an earthquake shakes the earth.

“It’s nothing personal, you know,” he said.

“Then why do you fuck them and not me?” You demanded.

Adam sighed. “You’re my love, Y/N, you know.” His tone was dull and he didn’t meet your gaze. He let his hand fall to yours, and swiftly he removed the pretty, sticky, ring pop from your finger. He discarded it into the wastebasket beside the bed, and then fumbled in the bedside table. He replaced the old one with a new one, and then proceeded to kiss your lips. “You’re always my VIP.”

You looked at the ring pop on your finger again halfheartedly, starting to feel better again. “Really?”

Adam nodded briefly. “Of course.”

“Promise to play house with me forever…”

Adam only watched you disdainfully. “Just relax. You know I have to go back out in the morning.”

Your heart was torn out again. Oh yeah… That’s right… he doesn’t give a fuck about me…

“I love you,” you whispered.

“You, too,” he replied unenthusiastically. “Just remember the ring pop, Y/N. You can never leave me. You won’t.”

You sighed and sank down into the mattress. That ring pop. Oh, that damned, fucking ring pop! How much importance it held. The very meaning of its purpose! It was almost like a marking; an unbreakable bond that was signed off at marriage. It kept you here, trapped you here; a rope of captivity tying you to him for eternity. There was no escaping this… but did you even want to? Something about the way the sharp splinters cut into your skin made you want to tie the knot tighter.

But you knew Adam didn’t love you. Not really at least. Maybe there were times when he returned and he DID remember what he fell in love with, but that part of him was gone. Had been for a long time now. Ever since he married you. Ever since you gave him all your money. But he HAD loved you once upon a time. He HAD cared. He HAD wanted you. And it broke your heart to see it all gone now.

Is this unhealthy? You wondered. Should I leave? Do I want to? You stared up at Adam and the answer came to you instantly. That miserable look in his eyes. He DID need you, just as you needed him. You both were tethered to each other, simply by one existing element: a lonely ring pop that destroyed all of the current reality. You longed for Adam’s love, and somewhere Adam longed for something from you as well, whatever that might be. And together the two combined to make a perfect match out of a million little flaws.

You wondered about Adam, as well. Was he the same person as before? It didn’t really appear like it. Sometimes instead of tying YOU up, the prickly rope tied around ADAM, and he forgot what he was doing. Got confused and disoriented. Got consumed in his lie.

Was he going to come back to you one day? Was he going to come back to his senses? Did he want that? Did YOU want that?

As much as you hated it, you did know the reason for his infidelity. He was lost. He didn't know what he wanted. He got his money, then lost himself. He was looking for something in them. But he held on to you because... well, you were natural.

Normal.

Everything he needed.

That was why he kept coming back. That was why he stayed. And that was why he left.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered in your ear softly. “Usually you're squirming by this time.” His voice was low and ominous.

In a rush, the world came crashing down on top of you. White noise filled your ears and darkness consumed your vision. You gasped. Adam was touching on you inappropriately in between the legs, and sending kisses down your jaw. You groaned and rocked your hips into his palm. “A-Adam. Hi. Yes. I-I’m with you.”

“Better be,” Adam mumbled. “Don't leave me like that again.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, I love you.” Adam’s voice softened and an ounce of actuality crept into it.

You inhaled sharply. Sometimes you could still hear HIM in his voice. Maybe Adam COULD come back? Maybe, just maybe, he would want to?

“And I love you, Adam…”

Always.

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A/N I’m sorry for the sad story. Also, I love how this one turned out. It bleeds tragedy and heartbreak. It’s everything that I dream about writing one day, (not to mention I actually worked really hard to paint the exact picture I had in my mind.) so I'd love it if people would drop a like to let me know what they thought. Thanks so much for the support. I don’t express it but I do appreciate all of you!

~ TwooneZ