Incorrect Tvd Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Katherine and Elijah: *walks into the Mikaelson Manor*

Klaus: Hello, brother—

Katherine: *screams and jumps on Elijah* Get yo fucking dog, bitch!

Elijah: It don’t bite.

Klaus: *hybrid face out* Yes it do!

Hayley: As your best friend-

Klaus: I don’t have friends

Hayley: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND

Klaus: i poisoned someone’s drink, but i forgot which one

Elijah: you did WHAT?!

Stefan: the way this dinner’s going, i hope it’s mine

Damon: *chugs faster*

Kol, Rebekah, and Klaus: *doing something stupid*

Freya: wow, look at those idiots

Elijah: wait… those are our idiots

Freya:

Elijah: NIKLAUS!!

Caroline: what if we reversed our initials?

Elena: Glena Eilbert

Jeremy: Geremy Jiblert

Bonnie: Bonnie Ben- i don’t like this game

Katherine: всичко това е твоя вина

Elena: *sigh* yeah, i know

Caroline: you speak bulgarian?

Elena: no, i just know the phrase “this is all your fault” in every language she speaks

Kol: what would you do if i was kidnapped?

Klaus: wait 30 minutes until they gave you back

Elijah: you think they’d last 30 minutes?

Rebekah: you think someone would want to kidnap him?

Kol:

Hope: *taking a buzzfeed quiz* which Disney princess are you?

Elijah: belle, because she likes to read

Rebekah: cinderella since i’m always having to clean up your messes

Klaus: ariel because i live in two different worlds

Kol: tinkerbell because if i don’t get attention i’ll die

Hope: tinkerbell’s not-

Freya: sleeping beauty

Everyone:

Kol: look, i found a snake! what should i name it?

Elijah: i’m sorry, you found a what?

Hope: william snakespear

Hope: don’t worry, i have a couple of knives up my sleeves

Josie: don’t you mean “tricks?”

Hope: *tucking two knives further up her sleeves*

Hope: …sure

Finn: idk is the most mysterious acronym

Kol: literally everyone knows what it means?

Finn: then what does it mean?

Kol: i don’t know

Finn: see? no one does

Bonnie: you can’t make everyone like you, you’re not Elena

Caroline: what? not everyone likes Elena

Bonnie: who doesn’t?

Caroline: well-

Bonnie: *grimoire already out* names, Caroline. i need NAMES

Josie, angrily: ARE YOU—

Hope: fucking

Josie: KIDDING ME?!

Freya: What in the name of Valhalla was that?

Hope: Josie legally cannot say ‘fuck’, so I’ve volunteered to say it for her

Alaric: I think you just like saying ‘fuck’

Hope: That doesn’t make my job any less important

Which Mikaelsons are likely to watch Barbie or Oppenheimer. 100% Canon

Freya - Barbie. She’s a girls girl, through and through

Finn - Oppenheimer with Elijah cause Barbie didn’t seem like his taste. Would have gone to see Barbie with Freya but knew Klaus would laugh at him

Elijah - Oppenheimer. It’s Elijah, what did you expect?

Klaus - Barbie. Wanted to watch Oppenheimer with Elijah but then found out Finn was going and needed an excuse to get out of it. Said that Hayley was forcing him to go see Barbie, then proceeded to force her to see Barbie

Kol - Barbie. Knew about it before any of the others and immediately told Davina that they were going, and she was all for it. He dressed up as Barbie and when Davina came out dressed as Barbie as well, he made her change to dress as Ken. Gasped in the theaters and threw popcorn at the screen. Cried at the end, you know the scene. Cursed men and societal standards, expectations, and limitations the entire time. An absolute menace. Don’t go with him to the movies. Ever. Almost got kicked out, but he compelled security to leave him alone

Rebekah - Barbie. It’s Rebekah, duh? Bought a ticket for Marcel and didn’t tell him, then dragged him away from Oppenheimer into the Barbie theater

Marcel - Barbie. Had bought a ticket to Oppenheimer, in a different theater than where the others were. But then Rebekah came and dragged him away, though he didn’t exactly put up much of a fight. Secretly really liked the movie and went back later in the week to watch it again

Keelin - Barbie. Wanted to watch Oppenheimer more, but Freya was excited to see Barbie so she went with her. Ended up going to see Oppenheimer the next day with Marcel

Hayley - Barbie. Wasn’t really that interested in either, but then Klaus dragged her to see Barbie and said he needed an excuse to not see Oppenheimer with Finn. She made him owe her something of course. [Don’t do anything for free ladies, especially for a man] Her and Klaus went out drinking afterwards and came home drunk, singing all the songs from the movie very loudly and waking up the entire house. Both denied it in the morning

Davina - Barbie. She wanted to watch it, so was very happy when Kol was the one who suggested it. Surprised at how excited he was and thought he would would pretend she was making him go and dress up. But he let everyone know it was his idea and that he was the biggest Barbie fan

Hope - Barbie. Was gonna watch Oppenheimer with Marcel and Keelin, but all her girls, gays, and theys wanted to watch Barbie with her. So her schedule was filled with watching Barbie back to back with a different person each time. Decided to just wait for the movies to come out to stream to watch Oppenheimer, and Barbie again since it had quickly become her favorite movie

Rebekah: *being mean to Elena*

Elena: don’t make me let my outer bitch out

Rebekah: don’t you mean your inner bitch?

Elena: no. no, i do not

Caroline: *bursts through the doors* who’s reputation am i destroying?

Freya: You are my dream woman

Keelin: Aww, you're my dream woman too

*kiss*

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Marcel: You're the woman of my dreams

Rebekah: I'm the woman of dreams of everyone