Jeongguk X Yn - Tumblr Posts

Inevitable (Series Masterlist) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)

Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)

Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, talks of insecurities, explicit sexual content (oral sex, fingering, making out, straddling, unprotected/protected penetrative sex but be safe please! specific warnings will be written on applicable chapters)

Series Word count: ~89.8k

Summary: You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

A/N: I love exes aus, and (athlete) dad Jungkook does things to me and after months of this little family living in my head, I finally got to put them into writing. So I hope you enjoy knowing them as much as I loved writing them 🥰 Also, my knowledge on baseball (and the MLB and the KBO) is quite shallow so for wrong terms and stuff… please ignore!

Prologue (wc: 2.2k)

Chapter 01 (wc: 6.9k)

Chapter 02 (wc: 7.2k)

Chapter 03 (wc: 7.7k)

Chapter 04 (wc: 9.9k)

Chapter 05 (wc: 7.5k)

Chapter 06 (wc: 7.7k)

Chapter 07 (wc: 6.6k)

Chapter 08 (wc: 14.7k)

Epilogue (final) (wc: 6.3k) 

Only Love: An Inevitable Epilogue (wc: 13k) || End

masterlist

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Grapejuice

→ Why must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well, just say goodnight and go

pairing: jungkook x reader (ft. taehyung x reader)

genre: strangers to lovers (?), art student jungkook, art apprentice reader, angst, smut, fluff, art university au, oc is older than jungkook (only by 1 year), kind of inspired by titanic(?? idk just bear with me lol) *also i went to normal college, no idea how art universities work*

warnings: swearing, feelings of being lost, thoughts of infidelity… infidelity, descriptive smut (oral fem. receiving, fingering, protected sex, multiple orgasms, jk is big y'all!), smoking (cigarettes & 🍃), themes of being lost, sad, nepotism, everyone is lowkey a villain lmao

summary: At 24, your life was lined up to be perfect; talented, nice apartment, amazing boyfriend, and a dream job. Working as an art apprentice for Kim Seokjin was the exact opportunity you needed to kickstart your art career. However, after you’ve hit a creative wall at full speed, you feel more lost than ever. It’s not until one person shows up with no brakes on in your life that not only changes your entire perspective, but takes your breath away in the process.

word count: around 36k (i was in a silly goofy mood💀🤓)

all feedback is very much appreciated! i hope y'all enjoy!

⏤

Jungkook’s hand that’s on the railing begins to tighten around it, his knuckles turning white as frustration pulses through his veins. You notice his tight grip and you place your own hand over his to relax him some. There’s mere inches between you two now, but it’s comforting and it feels like only you two are left in the world—the party raging down below and throughout the house drowning out. While your head is spinning from the two glasses of alcohol that you had sipped on earlier, you know that most of it comes from his intoxicating scent. He’s everywhere at all times and you think this is some sick joke manifesting itself into reality as you feel yourself leaning into him. When he says your name slow and calculated, you know that you’re a puddle in his hands, ready for all the consequences that may come with your decision. You just don’t know exactly how it could have reached this point. 

1 Month Earlier

If there was one thing about being an artist—it’s that it can absolute torture. You hated to admit how right-brained you actually were. You felt as if your mind moved much faster and more chaotic than most people. It wasn’t anything you couldn’t function with—you had dealt with it your whole life, finding different outlets for your energy and itchiness. You couldn’t remember the exact age that you picked up a crayon, but you knew it was younger than most.

A lot of your childhood seems to be a blur, only a few memories sticking out like a bookmark at times. One of the most prominent being at age 5 when you took a few Sharpies and marked all over the dining room wall, drawing what you thought to be a field of flowers. Turns out, it was just a black scribbled mess that ended up with you hiding in your room, terrified of how angry your mother had gotten at you. You had learned your lesson that day that the wall should not be your canvas of choice. 

Crayons turned to colored pencils turned to watercolor turned to oils turned to whatever you could grab and extend your talent further. You hadn’t taken the original school route—your dad putting you in a special junior school for artists, all the way up until you graduated high school. Naturally, this lead you to going to university to major in the fine arts. As you sit here in your studio now, you’re unsure if that was the smartest decision. 

The funny thing about artists is that you’re sure they are the type of people who crave and desperately need the most validation of any profession. You valued positive reinforcement to the point it could be crippling. You’re sure that it stems from some type of child-like validation you never received from really either of your parents. They were always hard on you but your dad was the more lenient one of the two; your mom too selfish in her own abilities to look your way. 

You glance up to the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearing 3 in the afternoon which means you only have one class left for today. You were by no means a professor, however as part of your apprenticeship—it was required by your senior, Kim Seokjin, to assist some of his lectures. Like you, Kim Seokjin was a tortured soul with such talent that it was hard to comprehend as an onlooker. You were nearing 25, Seokjin was over 30 and he had built much more of a name for himself than you probably ever would. Despite the hundreds of artists just in the area surrounding the neighborhood and university, he was one of the best. He taught only the uppermost level classes at the university, handpicking the students himself to teach. You were lucky enough to have kissed his ass enough as an undergrad for him to accept you into his apprenticeship program. It didn’t pay much—starving artists was an absolutely true trope—but it paid the bills and at least you weren’t in a crippling, life-draining office job. 

You give one last glance to the large canvas in front of you before throwing in your colorfully stained apron over an easel in the corner. 

You check off the mental note to bring Seokjin the rest of the paint he wanted for today’s last class. You hurry into his own smaller studio/office that’s right near yours and pick up the tray of paints he’s set out. Afraid that you’ll be late for class—which was Seokjin’s biggest pet peeve, you hurry out of his office and back down to the main classroom. As you turn down the main corridor, you don’t even recognize what’s happened when you crash into a body, slipping backwards and letting go of the tray of paints, halfway falling backwards with a yelp until something—someone—manages to catch your fall just in time. 

Your eyes are completely ignoring whatever stranger is holding you in a such a strong embrace that it’s taking your breath away and looking over at the colors which now paint the hallway. 

“Fuck,” is the first thought that crosses your mind and when you finally look up at who’s got you—the second thing to cross your mind? Shit—who is this?

“Are you okay? Fuck I’m so sorry, I-I have to run these papers to advising before my class,” the stranger rambles on, his grip still tight around your body. He’s got you pressed against his chest, one of his hands around your waist tightly, the other holding your other arm out awkwardly, giving away that’s what he originally caught you with. 

Your mouth slightly gapes open, confused and getting angrier at the second. Seokjin was going to murder you. That or just take the paints out of your next paycheck—which you honestly would rather take the former. With all of your might, you push yourself away from the man who you crashed into, feeling his grip on your arm even after he’s let go. 

“I’m fine,” you spit out, running a hand through your hair in frustration. You bend down and start to pick up the paint that indeed survived the fall, placing them back on the tray one by one. To your surprise, the stranger bends down too, helping you place everything back into the tray neatly. 

“I’m sure there are some towels—“

“The janitors will get it, it’s fine,” you interrupt the boy who keeps a mild expression on his features. It’s true though, spilled paint is nothing out of the ordinary for the cleanup crew. It was a school of arts after all. 

You leave without saying another word to the stranger. You march towards the classroom, ready to hear it in front of Seokjin and all of his students. The thought mortified you, but it happened to his apprentices more often than you would think. Seokjin’s tactics are scary and intimidating but they are like that on purpose. He wants his students to be the best and he wants his apprentices to be even better. And your work as of recent and now this incident? You were surely not that. 

Seokjin doesn’t acknowledge when you let him know about the spilled paints, giving you a dismissing—clearly annoyed—glance before he begins his last abstract painting class. The classroom space is large and bright filled with 11 students exactly. Six working spaces down each side of the rectangle, a lone working space in the back corner of the room. You remembered taking this class vividly, finding the abstract work natural to you and your paint brushes. While you enjoyed abstract, your speciality lied in realism—whether it be through pencils or oils or paints. 

In many ways your role in the classroom acted similarly as a graduate student would at a normal university. You were there to provide help to the other students when needed, but the basis of your apprenticeship under Soekjin was to gain experience and build up your portfolio. Lecturing in art school is obviously quite different than regular university. Instead of an hour and a half of note taking, it was a simple debrief at the beginning of classes and then the remainder time was for working. 

During Seokjin’s brief monologue, the back door of the classroom opens in a rush, the same stranger from earlier entering in, demanding attention away from the teacher. 

“Sorry I’m late—I had to drop off some papers in the administrative office,” the stranger explains as he walks up towards Seokjin. They shake hands quickly, Seokjin introducing him to the class. 

“Everyone, this is Jeon Jungkook—he’s just transferred in from another department, please welcome him in kindly.” 

Jeon Jungkook. A few of the student’s eyes light up as he gives a small wave to everyone. You’re leaning against the wall a few feet behind Jungkook and Seokjin but suddenly Jungkook must have noticed your small movement of crossing your arms over your chest. He nearly does a double take as you make brief eye contact. He’s handsome, you can tell that much as you hadn’t paid much attention when he bumped into you earlier. Jungkook is giving you another apologetic look until you’re the first one to look away, gazing back over the entire class. 

Once class presumes, Jungkook takes the empty workstation towards the back of the classroom, beside of Kim Jisoo and across from Kim Yugyeom. 

“Y/N?” Seokjin says from where he stands, motioning you to come to him. You push yourself off the wall, sauntering over to your boss. 

“Yes?” 

“Meet me in my office after this class is over. I don’t really need you in here today so just continue working on what you need to,” he says only giving you a short glance. Your stomach drops. 99% of the time, if Seokjin wanted to meet in his office, it never really meant good news. Noticing some of his students who are sitting up front are listening, you only give him a short smile with a nod. The last thing you needed was his students talking about how shitty his chosen apprentice truly was. 

You push yourself off the wall, your feet carrying you quickly out of the classroom. Little to your knowledge, the stranger from earlier only had his eyes on you as you disappeared from the classroom. 

⏤

It’s only less than a couple hours later you find yourself standing in front of Seokjin’s office. You are gripping your tote bag tightly against your side, the rattling of your materials the only thing your mind can solely focus on. Sending a quick prayer up to whoever, you knock gently on the door and a hear a subtle noise for you to come in. 

You force a small smile on your face as you enter the office, making eye contact with Seokjin immediately. He makes you so intensely nervous that it can be hard to stomach being around him—but the validation and credibility he gives your portfolio—it will be worth it in the end. 

“Hi,” you say as he motions you to take a seat at his desk. He’s sat across from you, finishing typing away at his computer before he gives you any attention. His office is quite the opposite of what you would expect an artist’s office to be. It was all monochromatic and cream with touches of mahogany brown in the furniture and cabinets. There was barely any art on the walls, just a few small canvases that you recognized as his own pieces. You have to hold in a laugh at his narcissism. 

“Thanks for coming by, I don’t want to keep you too late,” he says emotionless. 

“No worries,” you shake your head, “Is everything okay?” 

He hesitates before he responds, leaning back into his giant office chair that looks divinely comfortable.

“I actually wanted to present you with that question Y/N,” he speaks slowly, as if he’s studying you and your reaction.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “Me?” 

When he doesn’t say anything, you continue yourself. 

“I-I don’t think I understand,” you stutter anxiously, feeling yourself getting hot in the tiny office. This is it—this is where you die. Over spilled fucking paint. 

“Y/N,” he pauses to lean forward on his forearms, “You were one of my most exemplary students in undergrad which is why out of all the candidates, I choose you to be one of my apprentices. I just can’t help but feel you’ve been… well, lacking in the work you’re putting out..” 

His words are slow and calculated, as if he has rehearsed them many times over before spelling it out for you. Your shoulders begin to slump and you now wish you were being reprimanded over spilled fucking paint. You don’t even know what to say, so you don’t. Seokjin takes your silence with respect, continuing for you. 

“I just want you to be your best artistic self. I know what a slump feels like and if you need any help—“

“No,” you interject quickly, “It’s just—“ you pause, wanting to think about what you’re saying before you speak, “It’s just I’ve just been a little uninspired lately, but no I definitely don’t need help.” 

The last thing you needed was for Seokjin to think you couldn’t handle your own. The world of professional art was ruthless. You figured this out by your early teens when your mother had a gallery that was quote “a crashing bore of monotone, desperately wanting to be something it’s not.” After that, she locked herself in her bedroom for 3 days. You needed to prove to yourself you could handle piece after piece by yourself. If you couldn’t prove it to you, who on the outside would believe you could?

Seokjin narrows his eyes at you and you’re sure he definitely doesn’t believe you. “The final exhibit is coming up, I just don’t want you to lose sight of it.”

Knowing today’s date, the final exhibit is coming faster than you would like. Nearly 2 months away, but Seokjin is right. Art takes time, patience, and inspiration. Three things that you’re running out of.

“I appreciate the concern,” you say as genuine as you can, gritting through your annoyed smile, “But I promise you, I’m fine. I’m sure you know how it is to be in a funk.” 

He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his broad chest. If he wasn’t such an intimidating asshole, you would find him attractive. He seems to be content with your answer as he begins to nod slowly. 

“Alright,” he responds, “If you eventually need help though, you have an abundance of students who would be willing to work with you. Great art doesn’t have to be born out of loneliness.” 

You nearly snicker. The funny thing about artists is that we are so narcissistic, we can’t even see what we’re saying is just a crock of horse shit. You decide to leave the conversation at that, bidding Seokjin a simple goodbye and a wishful weekend. You pick your bag up off the ground, fishing your phone out of it quickly, leaving Seokjin’s office in a rush. You had dinner plans and you weren’t sure how much time you now had to get ready. 

You’re scrolling through your messages to recall the exact time you were supposed to be there when suddenly you’re bumping—no crashing—into someone—again! You’ve let out a yelp and a curse word you shouldn’t repeat when you hear your poor phone collide with the floor. Luckily you managed to catch yourself against the wall as your heart beats with fight or flight adrenaline. 

“Shit,” someone mutters and when you finally regain your orientation, you instantly recognize the voice. You realize it’s Jeon Jungkook—that new student who bumped into you earlier. He’s sitting on the ground as if he’s just been hit by a bus. It makes you narrow your eyes—you’re not that dense you knocked this man to the ground. How dramatic can he be? 

“Can we stop meeting like this?” You say as you reach down for your phone. You hope and pray there aren’t any cracks. When you turn it over, you let out a relieved sigh when the screen is unharmed. 

“That was totally your fault that time,” Jungkook pushes himself off the ground, fluffing up his dark hair some. Once he stands fully in front of you, you are now getting an essence of how big he is. He’s average height at most, but from your stature, you’re having to still look up at him. 

“How was that my fault?” You press, taking a step away from him to give you space. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t walk around with your head in that thing?” He motions to your phone with his eyebrows. His eyes are wide and doe like, his lips a little thin with a piercing on the right side, and a nose on the bigger side. You’ve always liked big noses. You normally wouldn't describe men this way, but he’s genuinely pretty. If he wasn’t standing right here, you’d blush a little.

“Maybe you shouldn’t sprint around this place like you’re being chased by a serial killer,” you argue back, your phone now buzzing in your hand. 

This Jungkook guy laughs a bit, a soft smile growing on his face, “I’m Jungkook,” he says matter-of-factly. 

“And I’m running late,” you point to your continually buzzing phone. You can tell it’s not the answer he wants, but you walk away before he can get that answer. You don’t dare look over your shoulder as you walk away to answer the phone. You can feel his eyes still on you and his scent fulfilling your nose. It smells clean, musky, and like amber. It smells dangerous. 

⏤

Carbone was easily one of the best spots in the city. The Italian cuisine was to-die for and with the way your stomach was growling—the thought of their vodka sauce penne was literally making you horny. In record time, you managed to rush home and throw yourself together a little more decently. Your hair was pretty greasy so you ended up throwing it up into a clip hoping that no one would notice. You’re playing with your so-called slut strands aimlessly as you stand outside of the restaurant waiting on your company. It isn’t much longer until you hear your named being called a little ways away. You look up from your phone, a smile beginning to grow on your face.

“Hey babe,” your smile only grows as your boyfriend approaches you. He himself begins to smile as he fully approaches you, engulfing you into a large bear hug. 

“I missed you,” he breathes heavily into your neck before he pulls away, “You look nice,” he holds both of your hands and looks down your frame. You glance down at your simple tank and loose-navy trousers. The navy somewhat clashes with his black suit, but it didn’t bother you none. 

“Thank you, missed you too,” you respond, “Shall we?” 

He nods once, giving you a look of longing before pulling you inside behind him. 

“Reservations for Kim Taehyung,” he smiles charmingly to the hostess. She seems awestricken by him as she fumbles around with the menus behind the podium. Once she realizes—or chooses to notice—you standing close with Taehyung, hand in his, her gaze immediately drops to her feet as she walks the two of you to the table. It’s a smaller two-seated table outside on their exquisite patio, twinkle lights tastefully lighting up around you and a small candle lit between you two. It’s still not quite spring so they have some outdoor space heaters which is nice on your exposed arms. The slight chill doesn’t bother you though. Your only focus is on Taehyung. 

Kim Taehyung. How could you even describe Kim Taehyung? 

As the two of you sit here now, him 27, you 24, you can’t believe how long it’s already been. You were naive and 20 when you first crossed paths with Taehyung. A mutual friend introduced the two of you at another friend’s birthday at the time. It was at some swanky bar in the fanciest part of the city and to your broke, aspiring starving artist kind; it seemed magical. 

There was an immediate attraction to each other that both of you seemed to recognize. His strong features and sexy smirk had you pulled in the moment he opened his mouth. His looks were one thing, but once you got to know him for him, you were sure you had found your soulmate. He was charming, funny, smart, and a hell of a lot different than you. But you liked that. You had been around the mismatched artist-type your entire life—you craved something different. And he gave you that every time, even now 4 years later. 

“How was your day?” You’re the one to ask first as the waitress ends up pouring out glasses of Chardonnay for the both of you. Taehyung always orders a bottle, citing glasses were the cheap way out. 

He takes a sip before he speaks, “Pretty good. I think we’re finally getting close to a deal on my biggest client which will leave me a lot less stressful once that sorts itself out.” 

Taehyung works in finance—specifically in private equity. When the two of you first met, he was a first-year hustling investment banker who worked long hours with high compensation for a 23 year old. Now, he works a little less hours with even higher compensation. One way that you two are similar is that you both like chaos—chaos that just manifests itself into different ways. Chaos for you comes in forms of paint, sketches, and a messy workspace. Chaos for Taehyung is working long, demanding hours, numbers, and making 50 year olds seem less experienced than him.

“You made it out of the office before seven tonight, that’s always a good thing,” you take a sip of your wine, hiding the scrunch on your face as best as you can. This Chardonnay was particularly dry and not quite what you thought you needed. A martini sounds real good about now. 

“How was your Friday babe?” He asks with genuine curiosity. If there was one flaw about you is that whenever Taehyung would go off the deep end in explaining his private equity and venture capital deals, you somewhat zoned out. Him on the other hand, always seemed intrigued about your endeavors as a struggling artists. Perhaps you should work on your listening skills now that you think about it. 

You’re about to answer until the waitress comes back to take your orders. You settle on the vodka penne, Taehyung gets cacio-e-pepe, and you two get a Caesar to split. Before you realize it, you’re adding in a martini to the bill. Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you as the waitress leaves. 

“Bad day?” He asks. 

You have to laugh, leaning back into your seat some. “It was fine, it’s just,” you pause somewhat frustrated now that you’ve had a couple hours to marinate Seokjin’s words.

“Seokjin has just been hard on me lately and it’s kind of exhausting,” you breathe out heavily. 

“Isn’t he always an asshole?” He raises a brow, leaning back in his seat to match your stance. His eyes don’t leave you as you command his full attention. 

You half-laugh again, “It’s like he thinks I can just shit out new pieces every week. It’s not like every morning I wake up with a new idea that's riveting enough to turn into something.” 

“I’m sure you’ve produced good things recently—you’re too hard on yourself Y/N,” he says, you assume trying to comfort or validate you in someway. It doesn’t work. 

“What you think is good, isn’t what I, or Seokjin, or art critics may think is good,” you say stubbornly. 

“Babe you really shouldn’t care about what those people think,” he says just as your martini arrives. You take quite a big gulp, a chill running down your spine. But it’s good, and needed. 

“That’s easy for you to say.” 

You don’t expect Taehyung to understand your perception of what you’ve always thought you career would be. Taehyung’s career was set for him the moment he walked across the graduation stage. There need be no inspiration or motivation for the work he does. He shows up, gets tasks and deals to negotiate, plugs and chugs numbers, and does it all over again. There’s no downtime in his field. 

When it comes to art—there’s too much downtime. Too much time to overthink and drown into your thoughts. It’s easy to become miserable and wallow in self-pity as an artist. You don’t know why or where this rut came from, but you hoped that something would inspire you fast. Seokjin was right—you really didn’t have much time to begin putting together your exhibition pieces. 

“I deal with people all the time who hate me and my colleagues—that doesn’t mean I don’t show up for the meetings. You’re going to deal with people who don’t like you but you still gotta get your shit done either way,” he shrugs and it’s like he caught what he said just in time before you could snap back at him—“Baby you know that’s not what I mean,” he suddenly leans forward and grabs one of your hands on the table. 

You try to get past his last comment—as if he was implying you weren’t doing your job—relaxing as soon as his warm touch gets to you. 

Perhaps one of the bigger flaws in your relationship with Taehyung is that sometimes he just doesn't get it. He can get very wrapped up into his world, unable to find a place of empathy for you and your craft. Sometimes, it feels like you're standing in a crowded room screaming yet no one turns around to see where the ruckus is coming from.

“I know,” you answer simply and luckily, your dinner arrives cutting the conversation at that. 

As you two eat together, catching up on other mindless topics, and enjoying each other’s company, it makes your heart yearn for so much more with him. You’ve only had one serious boyfriend before Taehyung in high school which probably doesn’t even count at this point and only dating a couple guys casually before you ended up meeting the man across the table. He was edging 30, you nearing 25. You glance down at your ring finger, wanting nothing more than truly make that next step in your relationship. You two had talked about it many times and you were sure he wanted to marry you—you just didn’t know what he was waiting on. 

Thankfully, you’re feeling a little less anxious now that you’ve ate a good meal and had some alcohol—not enough to where you’re drunk—but enough to feel a little buzz. After Taehyung’s paid (you’ve run your time trying to pay—also given Taehyung’s salary versus yours, it was sort of a given who would pay at fancy restaurants). 

The two of you are walking around the semi-hustling streets, hand in hand as you’re making way back to his apartment. Friday’s were routine the two of you. Given his hectic schedule, the weekends are where you two found solace. There was the occasional mid-week lunch if he was on your side of the city where the university was, but Friday’s had been particular your days for years now. You loved your little routine together. 

Taehyung has managed to pull you towards the city’s main river to a popular tourist watch site. On the weekends, there were the occasional events and water shows. Tonight wasn’t one of those nights, but there are a couple street vendors set up around the area. From the corner of your eye, you spot a vendor selling cotton candy and before Taehyung can stop you, you’re pulling him to the sweet treat. You settle on sharing a stick of the pink and cottony sugar as you take a sit down on the side of the river, trying to keep some distance from others. 

You sit on the step below Taehyung, settling between his legs as you eat the candy in a comfortable silence. He offers you the last little piece but you shake your head, leaning back into his chest more. He glad eats it and then wraps his arms around your front, instantly warming you from the outside in. 

“You chilly babe?” He asks and you shrug a little. You were a little chilly now, but he was keeping you warm enough. Given how he just knows you though, he ends up shrugging off his perfectly tailored suit jacket and draping it over your front. You give him a small kiss beneath his chin as a thank you. 

“This is nice,” you say lowly, the sound of the running river and carb-loaded tummy making you a little sleepy. 

“Mhm,” he agrees, settling his chin on top of your head, “You know I’ve been thinking recently..” 

Thought he can’t see your face from this angle, your eyes slightly widen and your heart rate picks up significantly. Unsure of what to say, you make a noise that resembles a “hm?” Could it be? 

“I know that both of our leases are ending soon,” he pauses, leaning back some. You take it to turn your body some to face him, a soft expression crossing your features. “I was thinking we should move in together.” 

While your heart semi-strains painfully given it’s not what you thought he was going to say. But hey—he wants to live together! That’s the second biggest step before getting engaged, right? 

“You want to live together?” You repeat his statement to make sure you heard it clearly. 

He gives you a small smirk, “Isn’t that what I just said?” He giggles, “I’d just figured we already stay at each others places on the weekends… and if we lived together we would definitely see each other more often.” 

He’s right. You think about waking up and going to bed with Taehyung everyday. You think about making coffee for each other and eating dinner together every night. You think about lazy morning-before-work sex and heavy, steamy sex in a shared bathroom. It seems perfect. You’re nodding before you even say yes.

“Yes, yes, of course!” You say enthusiastically, throwing your arms around him awkwardly. He laughs in content, holding you close as you both continue to watch the river. While it’s not what you were expecting, perhaps it was the final stepping stone until the relationship was to be taken further. 

⏤

“I feel like tangerine is the superior shade of orange, right?” 

You laugh a little as you take a step back from the canvas, looking over your shoulder to meet Sana’s gaze. She’s got a serious expression crossing her brows as she inspects your canvas and the orange color you’ve just slapped onto it. 

“I prefer marmalade,” you respond sarcastically with a half-smile, justifying your color choice on the canvas. She tilts her head slightly, sitting back in the barstool type chair she’s in. She was much more the charming artist type than you. Perhaps it’s one of the reasons you two got along so well—you couldn’t be anything more than polar opposites. You were laid back and didn’t think about your work too much, whereas your best friend from undergrad went through every detail imaginable before her brush hit a canvas. 

“I actually don’t give a shit about the orange,” she then says with a short laugh, “Y/N, what are you doing?” 

You furrow your eyebrows, setting down your palette on the work table beside you. “What do you mean?” 

She looks around your studio, the sun shining brightly thanks to the large windows on the back wall. You can tell she’s quickly inspecting every piece that you have finished up against the far wall opposite of you two. It’s only 3 pieces, but you can tell she’s about to rip them apart. 

“It’s just,” she pauses to meet your gaze again, "I feel like there's no emotion in these pieces, it's all just the same in different fonts...” 

You have a sudden open pit in your stomach, getting flashbacks from being in Seokjin’s office last week. You knew that she meant well—but like you said, she was the much more serious art type. She could read art better than anyone else you knew and to hear those words from her? It stung. 

“Because there isn't," you chuckle, "I’m just in a funk,” you say, not even attempting to try to argue with her. For the past couple months, every stroke of your brushes have felt like a chore. Every sketch of a pencil felt like someone had a gun to your head, threatening you to draw or otherwise the trigger would be pulled. 

“Isn’t your exhibition soon?,” she asks it like a warning but you’ve already heard that siren. “Is everything good with you?” 

“I’m fine,” you say straight-lipped, “Just uninspired.” 

She raises an eyebrow at you, “Taehyung not dicking you down right?” 

You roll your eyes, a small laugh emitting from you, “Trust me, that’s not the problem.”

Taehyung was great in bed—a gentle lover with rough hands. It would probably surprise people to know that you were the more dominant one in the bedroom. 

She looks as if she doesn’t believe you, but she lets it slide knowing your sex life is none of her business. 

“And he still hasn’t put a ring on it?” She glances down at your hands, which you shyly shove into the pockets of your jeans. 

“You'd be the first to know Sana," you tell her pointedly, "Also what's the rush?” you say, a half lie on your part. Maybe no rush on his part, but you were feening for that commitment from Taehyung. “He actually wants us to find a place together.” You make sure to add, given it makes your heart feel a little better. 

“Hm,” she pauses and you give her an odd look.

"What's that for?" you ask her, crossing your arms over your chest.

She shakes her head, "I just want you to be happy Y/N... I'm sure moving in together will be exciting," you can tell there's something else she's not saying. You can probably guess as to what she wants to say but you push it from your mind. God forbid she’s been the one on the other end of your drunken-crying nights, saying how much you wanted to spend more time with him and marry him. “Are you excited?”

You nod before you speak, “Of course,” you say, “I’ll just be happy to spend more time with him.” 

“I can’t believe he’s still in his soulless finance grind after all these years,” she exhales heavily with a shake of her head. You honestly couldn’t believe it either—but he loved his work. Sometimes you’d argue more than he loved anything else—including you. 

“Whatever makes him happy, makes me happy,” is what you leave it at. You didn’t want to have the same conversation with her again. 

“Well,” she pauses, “I gotta run, but enjoy your lunch,” she motions to the bag of food she so graciously brought you on her own lunch break. Given she works at an art studio in the city as an art preserver, her hours are much more flexible than yours. 

“Thank you,” you give her a quick hug, inhaling her sweet, floral scent. She’s always had that sort of nostalgic smell to her. One of those smells that you can’t pinpoint where you’ve smelt it before, but it makes you smile. Perhaps it just reminds me of sleepless nights in the dorm you two shared freshman year, watching endless drama's and Magic Mike nights.

“Are you gonna come to dinner with everyone tomorrow?” 

“I’ll try to make it,” you answer, “Depends how long I’m stuck here,” you speak with your arms in reference to your working studio. 

“You better be there,” she warns, “You haven’t seen Jimin and everyone in forever.” 

“I’ll try,” you repeat with a genuine smile, “Thanks for lunch again.” 

She gives you a kiss on the cheek, “Of course. Text me if you need anything,” 

You watch her frame as she walks out of your studio, your shoulders sinking in relief. You loved Sana, you really did, but the last thing you need is another person down your throat about your art. You were in a stupid, uninspired, funk but it will eventually go away. Even if you have to claw your way to finishing pieces for the exhibit—they will get done. You weren’t the type to just give up and throw in the towel. 

You haven’t even realized you’ve completely zoned out until you hear footsteps coming into your studio. When you fixate on who is hesitantly standing toward the door, a confused expression crosses your face. 

“Jungkook?” 

“I’m late?” He jokes, retorting your smart ass comment from the other day. You can’t help but laugh some as he approaches you. He’s curiously looking around your working space with wide doe eyes. “The lighting is great in here,” he comments. 

“I held Seokijn at gunpoint for this room,” you attempt to make a joke. He giggles so you’re satisfied. You’ve only been in class with him once since his first day last week. From what you’ve distantly observed about this Jungkook guy, it’s that he’s quiet and reserved, but quite talented. Seokjin must be feeling very sorry for you given he hasn’t needed you in class the past few days. That, or he’s just pissed that you haven’t done shit and it’s him telling you to get the hint.

“Everything good?” You ask him to break the silence, trying to be a “teacherly” as you could. Perhaps he had a question that Seokjin wasn’t available to answer. Or needed to know where certain pigments were. Or just needed a second opinion on a piece he’s started. Jungkook has made his way over to you, leaning at the table where Sana was just sat. 

“Seokjin needs you to work the afternoon class by yourself,” he explains and you’re a little confused. 

“Okay…?” You trail off, looking at him curiously. He’s dressed in a large short sleeve shirt, baggy jeans, and a slick pair of Nike’s. As he crosses his arms over his chest, you take quick notice of an array of tattoos covering his right forearm. It makes something deep within you stir. 

“Is he busy? Did he send you to tell me or something?” You ask. 

He’s staring at you intently with purpose. You’re suddenly insecure under his gaze, knowing you cannot possibly look put together with your hair thrown up and smudged glasses. 

“I volunteered,” he shrugged, his eyes looking over to the current painting you’re working on. It’s not too large of a canvas, so it sits on your large easel with ease. His words make you stir again. “This is a nice color,” he compliments. 

You laugh out of your nose, “It’s shit.” 

You can feel his eyes on your profile as you look at the painting. The orange you’ve laid down is only the base color and you don’t even know what you’re going to turn it into.

“Do you specialize in realism?” He asks you, again with a burning curiosity in his tone. This is the most you’ve heard him speak since he’s showed up. His voice is soft and smooth like honey, unlike Taehyung’s where—

“Yes,” you cut your thoughts off. 

“Me too,” he responds as your gaze meets his. You give him a small smile in unity. You’ve nearly forgotten lunch that Sana has brought you until a grumble goes through your stomach. You cross your arms over your stomach, feeling embarrassed under his gaze. 

“See you this afternoon?” He says, getting the signal for him to let you have your lunch break. 

“Will do,” you nod, “Thanks for letting me know.” 

He pushes off the table, “Of course.” 

His gaze breaks from yours as he walks away from you and your workspace. Just as he is about to walk out, you stop him. 

“It’s Y/N by the way,” you call out formally. He stops in his tracks, halfway turning to you again with a subtle smirk on his face. 

“I know.” And like that, he’s left. Something even deeper inside you not only stirs, but intensely electrifies you. You’re devouring your salad before you can let any other thoughts consume your brain. 

⏤

“Cheers!” Jimin is smiling eagerly as you all hold your shot glasses up in the center of the table. You all down, up, down the shots of soju before you quickly tip them back. It burns going down your throat, but it felt too good. Sana was right—it had been way too long since you’ve been able to catch up with everyone. Sana sits to your left, Jimin across from you, Hoseok to your right, Jennie beside Jimin, and Namjoon at the head of the table. 

“Never gets easier,” Hoseok makes a face as he quickly takes a sip of his soda for a chaser. You tease him by bumping his side, going back to eating the meat in front of you. Jimin was at the helm of cooking the meats and as always, did a fabulous job. 

The Korean BBQ place wasn’t too far from your studio apartment and the university. It was yummy, cheap, and some of your friend’s favorite. It was a no brainer for all of you to meet up here after a long day. Thankfully you were able to finish your work early today, but only because once again, nothing of substance was spawning on your canvas. 

“Namjoon,” Sana says, “When are you leaving for New York?” 

“Next week,” he says as he sips on his light colored beer. 

“Oh! Taehyung’s going this weekend,” you add into the conversation.

“Work trip?” He asks you, nodding in confirmation. It wasn’t anything new—Taehyung made bi-monthly trips to Wall Street. “If he’s staying long enough we’ll have to get a beer together,” he says. 

“I’ll ask him for you,” you smile, though it fades away quickly. You felt that twang in your chest when you thought about Taehyung leaving for work trips. Not because you didn’t trust him—you just missed him. Then again, he’s building a life of security for the two of you, so you couldn’t blame him too much. 

“How’s the apprenticeship going Y/N?” Jennie asks you as the others talk amongst themselves. 

“It’s going,” you try to sound light-hearted and that it’s actually not killing you. “I’m done after this semester,” you add. 

She nods—Jennie worked in social media for a fashion company. She was creative for sure—but not to the level of you and Sana. The three of you had known each other the longest, the other three boys tagging along as the college years went by. 

“Are you going to free-lance after?” She asks. As much as you know she doesn’t mean harm—any question about the future makes you anxious. You had no idea what you were planning on doing after your apprenticeship was up. You were just hoping working under Kim Seokjin would stick out enough on your resume that something would fall into your lap. With your parents consistently down your throat, something had to fall into your lap. Hell, you would even pull the nepotism card if you had to.

“We’ll see,” you shrug as you continue to eat your food. You were feeling a little bit of a buzz at this point and you knew that you should probably slow down on the drinks. 

The six of you all continue talking amongst yourselves aimlessly. You find yourself zoning in and out as you continue to think about Seokjin, your art, Taehyung, moving in together—your brain was cloudy and you felt stuffy. Something’s gotta give soon or you were sure you were going to explode. You didn’t understand—you have a good life, a good boyfriend, a talent not many people possess, fun friends—you didn’t know what was wrong with you. 

You end up excusing yourself, the alcohol inside you making you need some some fresh air. You try to ignore everyone’s concerned glances coming your way as you stand. You take your phone and head towards the front door. As you push the door open, the chilly spring air feels divine on your skin.

Deciding to get out of sight of your friends given the large glass windows, you make your way to the side of the restaurant, where an alley separates it from another small business. Luckily the area was safe, with no alley being too dimly lit to make you uncomfortable. 

As you round the corner, the smell of cigarettes fill your nostrils and you’re stopping dead in your tracks. Leaned up against the side of the restaurant, scrolling through a phone, and a cigarette hanging from their lips—is Jeon Jungkook. 

“Jungkook?” His name slips from your lips before you can stop it. He quickly responds by looking up from his device, looking somewhat startled. He looks panicked as he quickly removes the cigarette from his mouth, about to let it drop to the ground before he drops it. 

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” you shake your head as you slowly step towards him, “My mom smokes when she paints.” 

He raises his eyebrows at you slowly putting the cigarette back between his lips, “Is she an artist too?” 

He’s wearing slim-fitted jeans and a multiple colored pullover, with a prominent shade of orange through the middle. It reminds you of the conversation you had with Sana yesterday. His hair is tousled a little, but still fairly straight and dark. He plays with his lip ring until you answer him.

“Both my parents are,” you respond, settling against the building opposite of him. He’s already got a few inches on you, but with his fancy tennis shoes, it gives him even more height. 

“That’s gotta be rough,” he laughs while blowing out smoke away from your direction. 

You laugh with him, settling for a short nod, “What about your parents?” 

He hesitates before taking another drag, “My dad is in banking, my mom stays at home.” While he’s answered your question, he doesn’t seem enthusiastic about it. You wonder what type of banking his father is into, so you ask him. 

“Investment and private banking,” is what he says. Your boyfriend’s face flashes into your head, but for whatever reason, you don’t mention him to Jungkook. He’s practically your student—he doesn’t have to know every detail about your life. 

“Does he enjoy it?”

He quickly shakes his head, “He’s been miserable for as long as I can remember, my mom even more so,” he says it like it’s a joke, but it makes something in your chest squeezes tightly, your mouth dries up, and your hands go clammy. Though he doesn’t voice it, he senses a demeanor change so he offers you a drag from his cigarette. 

You don’t hesitate to say yes as he passes you the little nicotine stick. Your fingers brush against his when he passes it off to you. Again, you have to ignore whatever is stirring deep within you. As you inhale the smoke, your head buzzes even further, settling your worries the tiniest bit. There’s no way that would become you and Taehyung. No way. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask. 

“Meeting some friends for drinks,” he explains, “But everyone’s late, as usual,” he laughs. 

“I hate when people are late,” you mutter, taking another drag of the cigarette. Jungkook agrees with you, asking what you’re doing here. “I’m with a few friends, we haven’t all been able to see each other much recently.” 

You reach out to give him back his cigarette but he shakes his head, “It’s yours,” his eyes have a glimmer in them that’s innocent but provocative all at the same time. 

“Thanks,” you say and nearly rolling your eyes at how much you probably look like your mother right now. You wouldn’t really take that as a compliment. 

“You did well teaching yesterday,” he completely does a 180 on the subject, but the praise makes you smile at him. Positive reinforcement—works every time. 

You thank him again, “I was actually pretty nervous.” 

“I don’t think any of us would have thought that,” he pauses, examining your face closely, “Have you thought about teaching when you’re done under Seokjin?” 

You shake your head, “Not really,” the cigarette is down to the butt so you throw it out, stepping on it with your white tennis shoe. 

“Maybe you should,” he says it with a genuine tone it almost makes you think it’s something you should consider. 

“I feel like this is you trying to take my job,” you raise your eyebrow at him and he only smirks through his laugh. Under the dim lighting, it really does excentuate how attractive he is. 

“Is it that obvious?” He cocks his head to the side quickly, glancing down your front in the process. You know absolutely nothing about this man except his dad is an investment banker and he’s Seokjin’s student. Despite that, you feel too comfortable with him and you know you shouldn’t. Goddamn; you were sure you were losing it at this point. 

You’re about to say something else before your phone vibrates continuously in your back pocket. You pull it out of your trousers, cursing under your breath when you see Sana’s name pull up on the screen. 

“Hey! Are you still here?” You can tell she’s still inside the restaurant given the commotion in the back. She also sounds even more drunk than when you left her. As much as you love your friends, you knew that going back inside was not what you needed. Jungkook watches you intensely, but you can’t keep his gaze continuously. 

“I uh,” you pause trying to think on your feet, “I actually wasn’t feeling too well so I ended up leaving.. would you kill me if I just sent you a Venmo for my food?” 

“Oh! Are you okay?! Of course I don’t care! Did you get a ride home?” 

You answer all of her questions in order quickly, wanting to get off the phone before she actually realized you were still there, just standing outside in the alley with your “student.”

“Text me when you make it home!” Is the last thing she says. 

After you hang up, Jungkook is still looking at you curiously. 

“Ditching you friends?” 

“My social meter has about run out… I need to head home anyways,” you trail off, leaning back against the wall behind you. 

“Do you live around here?” He mirrors your actions, leaning back and watching you. His gaze follows you like the Mona Lisa. You settle with the fact you don’t mind. His eyes look like they hold stars and you’ve always liked stargazing. 

“Yeah, not too far from here,” you say. 

“I’ll walk you home then.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, protesting heavily, “No, no it’s all good I promise! Your friends are waiting for you.” 

He’s suddenly giving you a smile where one side of his lips tug upwards before he’s biting his lip ring again. You don’t know why but you like that too. 

“Lucky for you, my social meter has run out too.” 

⏤

You know that having Jungkook walk you home would probably look extremely bad to someone if they knew the situation. Jeon Jungkook, senior art student for Kim Seokjin, and you, apprentice for Kim Seokjin, walking you home alone on a Thursday evening. It wasn’t that you thought he was attractive that it would look bad—that could be kept secret—more so just the power dynamic may look bad. The two of you have been talking aimlessly about random things, nothing too deep, until he says—

“How’d you get into art?” He asks as he walks beside you, about 6 inches separating you two. “I know you said your parents were artists, but why’d you follow the same path?” 

It’s a question you’ve pondered yourself many times as of recent. You wonder if Jeon Jungkook can read your mind. 

“I guess it’s just that,” you half-laugh, “It’s just something I naturally picked up so young and as I got older I just wanted to learn more mediums, create more, perfect the craft…” you trail off, still unsure if you’ve answered his question. He looks at you as you walk, but you’re looking forward so you don’t notice. 

“What did you start with?” You know exactly what he means. 

“Well like most kids I started with crayons and watercolor,” you pause and he nods in agreement, “Everything really changed for me though when I started doing realism through pencil and charcoal work when I was like twelve, which eventually moved on to painting.” 

He hums like he finds this information fascinating. Even if he doesn’t, it makes you feel like you’re being heard. It’s hard for non-art friends to understand the process of moving from one thing to the next, your brain constantly trying to find something new to work with. 

“Funny, you and I must have been on parallel paths,” he says it like its a joke and you end up smiling. 

“Where are you from?” You turn your head up to ask him. You find his eyes already looking at you. 

“Busan, just by the sea.” 

“And that’s where our paths are different,” you’re nudging his arm with your elbow before you realize it and you immediately regret it, pulling away quickly. It’s a habit you have when you’re talking to someone you’re comfortable with, specifically Taehyung. 

"Did you move here just for school then?" you ask him curiously.

He shakes his head, "No my family and I moved here when I was quite young, due to my dad's job," he explains.

"What do your parents think about you being an artist?"

The older you got, the less of a choice you felt like you had in terms of your career and path with your parents consistently down your throat. You'd love to know what it was like to actually choose this path of constant praise and validation.

"My mom is very easy going... she doesn't have much of an opinion about it," he pauses, moving closer to you slightly to dodge a pothole, "It's definitely not what my father would have chosen for me, but since my older brother went to school for business, I think it's lessened the blow for me," he laughs.

You decide right here that you think Jungkook's smile is probably the most beautiful you've ever seen. You don't even realize how long you've been staring at him in silence until his eyes meet yours again.

You clear your throat, “You really didn’t have to walk me home.” 

He shoves his hands into the pockets of his pullover, “It’s no big deal, I don’t live too far from here either.” 

“Do you live alone?” You don’t know why you’re asking such personal questions. 

“Yeah, just got my own place actually..” He says it with a faint smile. “Do you?”

“Yeah,” not for long. But again, you don’t mention it. 

“I’ll have to come see it one day,” you’re positive he’s not even sure what he’s said. Given how he said it so nonchalantly and natural though, tells you differently. You’re stunned to speak for a moment, until you finally find your voice that comes through like a weakened child. 

“I’m not sure that’s appropriate given my relationship to you,” you try to make your answer seem cool and collected. You think it comes across this way and you hope he thinks it came across that way. 

“Aren’t we friends?” He muses, something hidden behind his tone. 

“Are we?” You retort. What do you mean, is his next question. “We’ve just met as of last week and I don’t know much about you…” 

Again, he looks at you cheekily as you turn left down the street that leads to your apartment complex. 

“That can be easily changed.” 

At this point, you’re sure he’s flirting with you. Flirting with his goddamn teaching apprentice assistant. You have to shoot it down—fast. You don’t like how the idea of another man flirting with you makes you feel—mainly because it’s not a negative feeling. 

“I’m just up here,” you motion toward the large complex you live in. It’s a nice, private community that luckily you can afford on your apprenticeship salary. Your parents will help you from time to time which is something you can’t complain about, but for the most part, it’s just you and your gray tabby—Sushi. 

“Thanks for walking me home again,” is what you say as he leads you up to the main entrance. 

“No problem,” he responds as he stops walking as you continue forward up the short set of stairs. You turn around, looking down at him two steps up from him. The wind is blowing some, his hair looking soft and touchable. Tuggable, even. 

“Sorry if I took you from your friends,” you don’t know why but you can’t find it in yourself to walk away from him just yet. You’re unsure the last time a stranger was this nice to you. Despite your first two crashing meetings, Jeon Jungkook seems like a genuine soul. 

“Back at you,” he nods before his chest rises slowly, his gaze not leaving yours, “I enjoyed this more.” 

A faint smile spreads across your lips, unable to hide it. You don’t even want to hide it. He’s been so nice to you that it makes you feel giddy on the inside. It’s reminiscent of when you had your first date with Taehyung. The single thought of him, drains all emotion from your face when you realize what you’ve just thought. 

You need to leave. 

“I’ll see you around,” you finally murk up the courage to dissolve this evening, “Thank you again, Jungkook.” 

He holds your gaze, a glimmer in his eyes as they reflect in the street light. Definitely looks like stars.

 “Anytime.” 

⏤

Unlike most Fridays, this one had your mood shifted in the dumps. Straying from your normal routine, Taehyung’s flight for New York was leaving this evening. You hadn’t even seen him since last weekend, but you tried your well not to dwell too much. This was just another part of your routine together. He would be back before you knew it. 

You are currently sat with a few of the students outside on a coffee break of your own, them on lunch break. There was a large section of the rooftop that was flat with tables and extravagant plants along the sides of the roof. It was probably the most peaceful and serene part of this entire side of the university.

You’re sat with Jisoo, Lisa, Yugyeom, and Jungkook around a circular table. The weather is getting so nice and the sun’s vitamin D feels too good against your skin. You’re sat sideways in the chair, your legs hanging off one side of armrests, an iced coffee balancing in your lap. Despite you being older than all the students here, a one year difference truly isn’t anything. Sometimes you still felt like you were in university when hanging out with all of them. 

“How’s your exhibition pieces going Y/N?” Yugyeom is the one who asks the question. You’ve taken notice him and Jungkook have become good buddies in a short amount of time. You can feel the latter’s eyes on you, but you intentionally ignore him. 

“Awful,” you don’t even attempt to sugar coat it. You know that they’ve probably heard Seokjin’s scoldings recently. 

“Really? But your winter exhibition pieces were so good,” Lisa pipes in. Your stomach sinks and you wish you could curl into yourself even more. 

“I thought so too,” Jungkook’s voice suddenly appears and you turn your gaze to him. He’s sat to your left, but Jisoo is in between you two. 

“How’d you see them?” You don’t mean it to come off harsh, but given he’s transferred here in the middle of the semester, there’s no way he could have seen them. 

“I was in Park Kihyun’s department before I switched to Seokjin’s,” he says, leaning back into his chair as he sips on what looks to be banana milk. Today he’s wearing an all black ensemble of a black t-shirt and baggy black sweatpants. 

You make a noise of understanding. That makes much more sense. Park Kihyun was another highly respected artist and professor at the university. Probably even more than Kim Seokjin. He was head of the honors department of the university which is a cult of its own. You were talented as hell, but not even Kihyun would consider you for the honors program, let alone an apprenticeship. He was by far the hardest professor you ever, ever had which is why you only took one class from him. You learned your lesson fast. Though it’s quite impressive to hear Jungkook was in his department. You wonder why he switched, but you probably already know too much about Jungkook, so you leave it. 

“I’m sure everything will work out Y/N,” Lisa gives you a reassuring smile from across the table. 

“It’s just a funk, I’ll break out of it,” you shrug your shoulders. At this point, you’re hoping if you say it out loud enough, that the funk will indeed be broken. 

More talk occurs between everyone, though Jungkook doesn’t say much. When he does speak, he contributes a funny joke here and there. He’s deliberate with what he says and you understand that. One of your better traits is that you don’t act out of pure emotion. You want what you say to matter and no get lost in translation. Perhaps another parallel between you and Jungkook. 

“Y/N!” Someone bellows from behind you, “You’ve got a visitor!” 

Your eyebrows furrow as you swing your legs down, to turn around to see who is your so-called visitor. You put a hand up above your brows, to close out the sun. When your vision focuses, your heart swells at the sight. It also lurches with anxiety. 

“Taehyung?” You ask him as he’s approaching you with a bag of food from what looks to be your favorite sushi restaurant down the street, “You didn’t tell me you were coming.” 

You stand to meet him once he approaches the table. You can feel everyone’s eyes burning holes in you. Everyone here knows you have a boyfriend, having seen Taehyung many times. All except one. 

“I wanted to surprise you before I left,” he sets your food down on the table before waving to everyone, “Hey guys.” 

Everyone doesn’t miss a beat in greeting Taehyung before he turns back to you, pulling you in for a hug. He places a kiss on your temple gently just as you meet Jungkook’s eyes from your stance. He watches you curiously before they flick to Taehyung, his tongue playing with his lip ring. 

“My coworkers and I decided to get lunch on this side of town and I wanted to bring you some,” he says while looking down at you. Of course he’s dressed in a perfectly tailored navy suit and shined shoes, his hair a little slicked back today. You would love nothing more than to hop onto a plane with him to NYC, but unfortunately investment bankers don’t get plus ones on business trips. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you’re speaking in a lower register, hoping that your lunch group’s own conversations drown out yours. 

“I wanted to,” he smiles, one hand squeezing your waist in reassurance, “Listen um, my trip may be a little longer than I expected,” his voice is low and deep, hesitant even. 

Your heart feels like it clenches in your chest and you’re sure whatever color was in your face is gone. So this is why he wanted to come see you. 

“How much longer?” You whisper, trying to keep your composure. You’re sure you can feel a certain someone’s eyes on you, but you can’t look at anyone but Taehyung. 

“Maybe two weeks, max,” he says quickly and trying to remove any doubts from you. You look down at your feet for a split second before you glance back up. 

“That’s okay,” you grimace, knowing you can’t control it so why is there reason to be upset? “Namjoon’s gonna be there… you guys should meet up.” 

He nods with a small smile, his eyes searching yours deeply. He knows you and he knows that you’re not happy right now, but Taehyung had no choice. Work calls and work calls hard and fast. You both knew that. He gives you another temple kiss, this one a little longing. 

“I love you,” he says, giving you a hug. You don’t even care to be embarrassed of PDA in front of the others. This was your boyfriend of years—you could hug him in public if you wanted. 

“I love you too,” you pause, “Have a safe flight.” 

Taehyung speaks to the rest of the gang for a couple moments. He’s only asking how everyone is since he recognizes everyone, even if he can’t remember everyone’s names exactly. 

“I don’t think we’ve met?” Taehyung questions the dark haired boy a couple feet from him. 

“I’m Jungkook,” he says, his voice slightly cold, “I just transferred into this department.” 

You watch the interaction carefully, your palms sweaty and your heart rate up. You can’t pinpoint why you feel nervous like this in front of Jungkook. More specifically, in front of Jungkook with Taehyung right here. You were sure if Taehyung knew Jungkook walked you home last night he would have been thankful, but another part of you thinks it would have made him pissed, given you weren’t with him at the restaurant to begin with. 

“Nice to meet you,” Taehyung smiles before glancing at his watch, “Alright, I gotta run babe. I’ll text you when I get to the airport.” 

You tell him okay before he pecks you on the lips, leaving swiftly after. Jungkook looks away, a hand of his finding its way to the back of his head to scratch it awkwardly. You seem to be stuck in place, unable to sit back down until Lisa grabs your attention. As much as you appreciated the sushi, the last thing you felt like doing was eating. 

As you sit down, Lisa asks if everything’s okay. You don’t miss a beat when you say yes, shrugging off your apparent sadness. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s briefly and you can tell he doesn’t see through your bullshit. You can’t tell if it makes you uncomfortable or if you’re grateful for it.

⏤

Your phone dings, prompting you to set down your pencil. You open the a text from Taehyung, smiling down at your phone. When you expand the photo, it’s a picture of Namjoon with Taehyung holding a beer out in front of him. It’s clearly from last night, given it is early morning in New York now, but still charms you. Namjoon worked as a writer for an art magazine—hence why he traveled the most of all of your friends. From Paris to NYC to Amsterdam—Namjoon has been there, done that. 

You respond with a simple Miss you❤️

It’s been a few days since he left now and thankfully, he’s been pretty responsive and active on his phone. In the past, some of his work trips have been so busy there were days in which the two of you wouldn’t talk at all. 

You stretch your legs out on the small sofa you have in your workspace. You grab your sketch book from your lap, tending back to what you were drawing. You liked doing pencil work in between the major pieces that would actually be submitted for galleries and exhibitions. 

“You’re still here?” 

A voice startles you, jumping slightly in your position. You crane your neck to the door where you find Jungkook has made his way into your space. Given you had the door open and Jungkook has become a good acquaintance to you, you don’t mind—but a knock would have been nice. 

You glance down at your watch. It’s almost 8 PM, the light outside barely poking through the darkness now. You honestly hadn’t even noticed. You stayed cooped up in your work space pretty much all day. 

“And you’re still here?” You retort, watching as Jungkook saunters over towards you. He looks tired, his bag looking a hundred pounds on his shoulder. You scrunch up your legs to give him a signal he can sit if he wants. You notice he has on black converse, matching the ones on your feet. You’ve always liked when guys wear converse, though you know Taehyung wouldn’t be caught dead wearing them. 

He lets out a deep sigh as he plops down on the small couch. He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a yawn. You have to fight your own as you watch him. 

“Long day?” You ask him. 

He nods slowly, “I was nearly finished with the piece I’ve been working on but I wasn’t paying attention and ended up streaking my canvas.” he explains.

"Aren't those just happy little accidents?" you quirk an eyebrow and he lets out a deep laugh.

“Seokjin made me start over, so no," when his eyes meet yours, you catch your breath.

You scrunch your nose up, “Sounds like Seokjin,” you give him half a laugh. 

“Why are you still here?” 

You look around the now dimly lit room, with a shrug. You picked up a paint brush for 10 minutes four hours ago. You had no idea why you were still here. 

“Lost track of time,” you shut your sketch book, stretching your arms slightly. “Is anyone else here?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “Not that I’ve seen,” he pauses, “This feels like the start to a horror movie.” 

You laugh with a sputtering of your lips. Jungkook made a good point. A late Wednesday evening, two people alone in a huge university hall, pretty much all lights killed, and quiet enough to hear a pin drop. It was the perfect storm. 

“As long as we’re both virgins, we should be safe right?” You raise an eyebrow at him, a joking tone to your voice. Luckily, he understands your reference as he laughs with a side smirk. 

“Totally,” he licks his lips which you watch shamelessly, but quickly looking away not wanting him to see you stare. “Need a walking buddy home?” Is his next question. 

As much as you should refuse, given the time and proximity of your and Jungkook’s apartment from the school, it only makes sense. It’s not long after you’ve gathered your things that you and Jungkook are locking up your studio, headed towards the direction of your apartment. 

The entire walk is peaceful and comfortable. You walk with your hands shoved into your sweatpants pockets, Jungkook mirroring you, keeping a good distance between you two. You talk about random things, with each conversation flowing easier than others. You feel as if Jungkook is quickly moving from student acquaintance to actual friend. You were friends with most of the people in the classes you assisted, but you had never interacted with them as much as you had Jungkook. He just always seemed to be there—though you didn’t mind his company at all. 

You’re currently laughing at something he’s said about a childhood story about him and his brother. You now know the reason for the faint scar on the left side of cheek. You would have never taken Jungkook as a competitive person, but getting to know him a little more day by day, he most definitely is. 

The two of you have almost made it to your apartment complex when sudden, heavy raindrops begin to fall from the sky. 

“Shit,” you mutter as you two have taken brief cover under a business awning. 

“C’mon,” Jungkook encourages with a short laugh, grabbing your forearm to pull you behind him. It’s hard to keep up with his quick steps, but you manage. 

While you two ended up at your complex entrance faster than you would have at your previous pace—you both are still soaked. The rain has also chilled the air, sending a shiver down your spine. Jungkook is muttering something about how Busan has always had much better weather when you get a full look at him. His hair is wet and flat to his head, but he’s pushing his fringe back to expose his forehead. His white t-shirt sticks to his chest, his silver chain grabbing the light. You gulp, a familiar stir in your tummy. 

“Do you want to come up and dry your things? Or a least grab an Uber or something to get to your place?” You’re mouth is offering the words before you can think about them. Fuck—that was stupid. 

As Jungkook looks down at your frame, he’s contemplating your offer, but then says—“No, no it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” 

You counter, “No please, I definitely have sweatshirts big enough for you.” 

He looks back out at the rain that has only seemingly got worse. He lets out an exhale before nodding, thanking you in the process. 

Once you cross the threshold of your apartment, you instantly feel warmer but also more claustrophobic. This had to have been a horrible mistake. Your apartment was your safe haven—with very few people ever getting the chance to see your space. Taehyung and Sana were the only regulars in your home. You’re hyper aware glancing around the kitchen room and living room area, thanking yourself for cleaning up last night. Jungkook has already witnessed how much of a mess your art is, the last thing you need is for him to think your home is a mess too. 

You excuse yourself to retrieve a sweatshirt for him and a new t-shirt for you to throw on. After you change, you nearly stop in your tracks when Jungkook is pulling the wet t-shirt off his frame. His back is to you, but god—it’s a hot back. His frame isn’t that big, but he’s got defined muscles well, everywhere. 

You approach him slowly, alerting him that you have a sweatshirt for him. The two of you trade items of clothing, gaze holding anywhere but him. Luckily for him, you pretty much only bought sweatshirts double your size, so the Nirvana sweatshirt fit over his frame nicely. 

“Your place is nice,” he comments as you throw his t-shirt into your dryer. 

“Thanks,” you give him a smile when you walk back into your kitchen. He’s sat at one of your barstools, watching your frame intently as you rummage through a cabinet above your microwave. Your eyes widen at the sight, stomach grumbling the process. You hadn’t ate in hours and you were sure you could eat a horse at this point. 

“Do you want one?” You look over your shoulder as you stand on your tip-toes to pull down an instant ramen cup. 

“Was my hunger that obvious?” He laughs and you roll your eyes, grabbing him a cup too. You whip up both of your instant ramens in less than 5 minutes, handing him a pair of chopsticks when you’re finished. 

As you’re about to rip open the flavor packet and squeeze it in like your normally would, Jungkook’s method has you stopping in your tracks. He’s got the flavor packet carefully tucked between his teeth, a chopstick on either side of the packet pushing out every drop of the sauce you could possibly get. 

“That’s fucking genius,” you marvel at him, mouth still slightly agape. “Did you come up with that?” 

He laughs, his nose scrunching up in the process, “Probably not, but I’ll pretend I did just for that reaction.” 

You ask him to help you, knowing that you will now be using this ramen hack till the day you die. He carefully tears a small rip the packet for you, telling you to take the corner between your teeth. You follow suit with the chopsticks and you’re simply amazed again as you watch the flavoring all dump into the noodles—none of it wasted. 

He laughs at you as you continue to rave about the genius of this ramen hack, questioning whether or not Namjoon knows about it given he’s the smartest person you know—even though he has no idea who Namjoon is. Then suddenly, Jungkook jumps slightly in the barstool, looking down at his legs. 

“You okay?” You ask with concern as you put your chopsticks down. 

At Jungkook’s feet is a little grey tabby cat—a little chubby, but cute as hell—staring up at him as it rubs its head against his ankle. 

“I see you have a cat,” he comments, looking down at it with an endearing expression. 

“Oh! Yeah,” you pause, taking a couple steps around the kitchen island to see him, “His name is Sushi…” you trail off, not believing the sight in front of you, “And he seems to like you?” 

“Hi Sushi,” he says with a mouthful of noodles before he swallows. It's cute. “Does he not like people?” 

“He usually just doesn’t like men,” you watch in awe as Sushi then lays down right at Jungkook’s feet, continuing to stare up at him. “He’s just gotten to where he can stand Taehyung, and I’ve had him for two years.” 

You don’t know why you tense up when you mention your boyfriend. Maybe it’s because you know Jungkook probably shouldn’t be in your apartment. Maybe it’s where Jungkook’s presence makes you feel nervous, yet a little too comfortable. He doesn’t know you as a friend who’s been in a serious relationship her entire 20’s. He knows you as the friend who happens to be his teacher’s apprentice. 

Jungkook though, uses this as a window of opportunity. 

“How long have you two been together?” He chooses his words carefully, not wanting to come off too strong or curious—though he absolutely was. After your boyfriend had come visit you last week, he had an array of questions.

You take a deep breath in and out, leaning against the counter, “Almost five years.” 

“Damn,” is what he says after a moment of silence, “That’s half a decade.” 

You laugh at his comment, “Sounds longer when you put it like that.” 

He finishes his ramen, “Thanks again,” he says as you take his chopsticks and stick them in the dishwasher. You then turn your back to throw away the cup. “How’d you meet him?” 

You pause momentarily as you open the cabinet where your trash can resides, clearing your throat, “Through mutual friends.”

You turn around and Jungkook nods knowingly, taking another glance around your apartment. Your apartment is decorated simply, but he can read the flares of a scatter brained artist easily. You have olive green cabinets, a cream sectional sofa with mismatched colored pillows, a funky shaped coffee table that’s a pink marble, and a corner of your living room that’s a bit of a clutter with art supplies. It makes him smile inwardly, as he has a similar clutter up in his own living room. 

You watch him as he studies your apartment carefully. Deep down, you hope that he likes it. After all, it wouldn’t be much longer that this space wouldn’t be yours anymore. As his eyes come back to the kitchen, something in particular catches his eye. You can pick up on it, giving the widening of his pupils and straightening of his posture. 

“You got tickets Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit?” His says almost stunned. You follow his eyes over to the small bulletin board you have hung up in your kitchen. You stick important reminders and other tasks for you on it, but what Jungkook is looking at are two tickets tacked the board. 

“Yeah, Taehyung got them for my birthday.” 

Your heart sinks as the words leave your mouth. You couldn’t’ even imaged what Taehyung paid for the tickets, but he knew once he realized the exhibit was coming to the city, he had to get them for you. The two of you were going to go together, making an entire planned Saturday around the exhibit. Now, those plans were shot out the window given he was going to be in New York until next week. 

“Shit, I can’t imagine what he paid for them,” he seems to be speaking his thoughts, which coincidentally match your own. “You’ll have to take pictures, I’ve always wanted to see it.” 

As your shoulders fall, eyes looking down at your ring finger again—an awful habit you need to break. 

“I’m not going anymore.” 

“Wait, why not?” His voice is rushed and confused. It’s just then when your dryer dings, signaling his shirt is now done. You give him a small smile as you leave to retrieve it, hurrying back the kitchen. 

“Taehyung’s still on a business trip, he won’t be back until next week,” you explain as you fold his shirt with crisp, clean lines. You slide the fabric over to him, his hand brushing yours as he grabs it hesitantly. 

“You should still go,” he says, leaning on his elbows. His gaze his heavy, but he’s mesmerizing so you can’t look away. 

You start to shake your head, “It’s alright,” you say with a half laugh, trying to make it seem as if it doesn’t bother you. 

Jungkook perhaps regrets his next words and how fast he says them but—“I’ll go with you.” 

Your mouth slightly parts, unsure of what to say. If you acted on emotions all the time, you would have jumped to say yes, of course! But as your boyfriend’s face flashes across your eyelids every time you blink, you hesitate to answer. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have,” he laughs, breaking the awkward tension in the room, but as you glance at the tickets again—you know you can’t say no to him. 

“No, no, you’re fine,” you smile at him softly; the kind of smile that girls give Jungkook that drives him crazy. “You really don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

Jungkook is good a reading people—which scares you. Jungkook can sense every change in people’s breath, demeanor, and language. You’re sure he could read how you fell sad thinking about not going to the exhibit, but you also didn’t want him to tag along out of pity for you. 

“If you want to go, I want to,” he pauses, leaning towards you from across where you stand. “If you don’t, then I don’t,” it’s almost a challenge coming from his lips. He chews on his lips ring as he waits for your answer. 

After a few moments of debating internally, “I’ll let you know,” is what you leave it at. Jungkook seems satisfied with your answer, not pressuring you any further to give in to his proposition. Jungkook goes in an Uber soon after since the rain has not given up. Sushi meows as he leaves, even allowing Jungkook to hold him for some quick cuddles. Once he’s gone, the only traces of him left are his faded scent in your sweatshirt and his number in your phone. 

⏤

It’s now Saturday, you and Jungkook standing in line for Kusama’s exhibit. He met you here about thirty minutes ago and luckily both of you didn’t arrive any later. The line was moving fast, but the amount of people that’s accumulated behind you goes on for what seems like a mile. 

It was quite warm today, opting to wear a white, polka dotted midi-dress and a pair of high top converse. Your hair was down and a bit messy, curls from the other day having fallen slightly. A compliment was the first thing that left Jungkook’s mouth when he saw you. You absolutely hate the bubbly feeling his gaze and words leave in your stomach. It’s reminiscent of how Taehyung left you when you first met. You know you should ignore it, but it’s so hard when he’s standing there looking like that—seemingly always saying the right things. 

Today, he’s dressed casually in a pair of baggy jeans that you’ve seen him wear before, a yellow t-shirt, and a black bucket hat. You can’t help but glance down at his tattooed arm every once in a while. You think about how you’d love to hear the stories behind them all. You also think about how is pain tolerance must be insanely high, given his shirtless escapade at your place, you noticed how the tattoos traveled all the way up to his right shoulder 

After both of your tickets are scanned and a map of the exhibit is given to him, he opens it, his eyes scanning over the paper quickly. 

“Where should we go first?” He asks as he lean over to peak at what’s to see. Unlike most art galleries which are quiet, this one has softer music accompanying each room, making it less awkward to talk if need be. 

“This one,” you point to the biggest, most famous room that you’ve heard all about. It’s a dark room, with intricate lights throughout. You hoped that pictures you’ve seen of it we’re only doing it half-justice. 

He laughs a deep rumble from his chest, “Shouldn’t we do that one last?” He looks down at you with a small smirk on his face. 

You furrow your eyebrows, “No, it’s the most famous one, don’t you want to see it?” 

His smirk spreads to a smile, “I know that,” he pauses, “Let’s do that one last so we have something to look forward to, and maybe there won’t be as many people in there by the time we get to it.” 

Okay, you think, fair point. 

The two of you settle on starting at the All the Eternal l Love I Have for the Pumpkins. As soon as you walk into the room, you are completely in awe at the magnificent work. Despite it being mid spring, the “pumpkins” on display along with fall-oriented music in the background, makes you desperately wish for the cooler weather of October. Jungkook is fascinated too as his eyes only get bigger as he takes in each and every detail. 

The two of you make your way around the exhibit slowly, having to wait for some of the rooms to open since the gallery is quite crowded. The next room you go into is called Dots Obsession—Love Transformed into Dots. It’s got a pink hue to it, large white balls with black dots on them. 

“I think you stole her idea,” Jungkook comments as you take pictures, his eyes scanning down your dress. You flip him off, which he responds with a laugh. 

Phalli’s Field is the next room. Unlike the previous rooms, this one is bright with what looks like a field of while, red-dot phallic shaped objects. Jungkook ends up taking a mirror selfie of you two in this room and you make a mental note to ask him to send it to you later. 

The next one is called Love Forever, another dark room with a changing light color pattern that’s abstract in nature. This one makes you think of Taehyung and rightfully so. You know that he would have enjoyed this, given that he likes art that’s stimulating and not “boring”—his words, not yours. You snap a picture of this one for him, hoping that he’ll like it and the name. 

The second to last one is called Aftermath of Obliteration of Eternity. 

“Jesus,” you say after you read the name of it, “Realist much?” 

Jungkook laughs as he follows you into the room. It’s dark again, with twinkling yellow colored lights filling the space. It reminds you of a fire. The yellow flickers to a slight orange shade every millisecond, giving off a summery feel. It makes you think of your childhood, when your parents would take you to the beach and roast marshmallows over an open fire. The thought makes you a little sad, knowing that those times would never come back. That was before you knew about loss of innocence and the high standards of your parents that would come. 

Finally after a couple hours of diving into each room, along with reading each story behind the pieces, you reach the room that you’ve been itching to get to all day. You’re welcomed into the room and an immediate gasp leaves your lips. 

“Wow,” you whisper as you take a big glance around. 

“Holy shit,” Jungkook says behind you just as the door is closed. You realize that it’s just the two of you here in. He definitely made the right call about waiting. 

The Souls of Million Of Light Years Away is simply breathtaking. It’s dark again, but this time with what looks like actually a million lights twinkling in all different forms of colors and shapes. Each light bounces off the mirrors and you imagine this is what being in space is like. A dark void with a million galaxies around you. It’s oddly peaceful even though you can barely see your hands in front of you or Jungkook behind you. You don’t notice, but Jungkook quickly snaps a photo of you in the light, your silhouette showing up with the millions of lights behind you. He’s smiling at his phone when you turn around, and you ask him what’s up. 

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, “This is just amazing.” 

You hum in agreement, not wanting to leave the room. As you find Jungkook’s eyes, another tiny gasp leaves your lips. If you weren’t confident enough before, you’re sure that his eyes are made of stars now. The light bounces off his brown, doe eyes, blending into the gallery seamlessly. He licks his lips before he asks if you’re ready to go. Hesitantly, you slowly nod, your feet heavy as you leave the room and follow him out. 

When you make it back outside, it’s still light outside which makes both of your eyes sensitive since you’ve just spent a little over two hours in the dark. Since the exhibit was on the opposite side of the city, both of you opt to take the subway back towards your respectable apartments. Both of you are sat together at the back of the car, looking through your pictures again, marveling at the exhibit. 

“Thanks for coming with me,” you say with a smile. You’re sitting at the window seat, your body turned to Jungkook. He’s slightly turned towards you too, one of his legs curled under his body. 

“I kind of invited myself,” he chuckles, leaning onto his hand that’s support his head. 

“And I accepted your invitation,” you retort, “Taehyung would have loved it,” you add, a little bit of sadness to your tone. 

Jungkook watches you intently as you break away your gaze, to stare at the rumbling floor of the subway car. He’s chewing on his lip ring again, a habit he can’t break ever since he got it pierced months ago. He doesn’t know anything about your relationship with this Taehyung guy, but he senses that something is off. Anytime you’ve spoken about him, your eyes drift off and your attitude shifts. He can’t help but be more curious. 

“What does Taehyung do?” 

“He works in finance,” you say, “Private equity.” 

Jungkook nods slowly as he receives this information, knowing exactly what you’re saying. His own parents relationship flashes in his mind and it suddenly clicks for him. Long hours in the office, holding out for the weekends—which even then aren’t guaranteed, high stress levels. That type of financial work is no joke—it takes a toll not only on the person doing it, but everyone around them. His heart suddenly feels for you and for a brief moment he feels as if he is talking to his mother. 

He suddenly wonders why a person like you, would be with a guy like that. You have so much light and fireworks within you, he doesn’t know why you would subject yourself to a relationship that’s seemingly all black and white. People like his father and Taehyung see the world in black and white. You and Jungkook see the world in vibrant color.

“I’m assuming he stays quite busy then,” Jungkook’s words are calm; understanding even. 

You give him a tight lipped smile before you nod, “I’m sure you know.” 

His eyes study your face closely, “As long as he makes time though, it’s all that matters,” he pauses briefly, “That’s just always been the issue with my parents.” 

He doesn’t know why he’s saying what he’s saying. Internally maybe he sympathizes with you? Wants to make you feel less alone? Whatever it is, he doesn’t like how your demeanor completely changes when your boyfriend is mentioned. It’s like you’re the flame of a candle and when Taehyung is mentioned, you’re blown out. 

Though Jungkook’s words are sweet and genuine, you can't help but still feel bitterness towards Taehyung right now. 

“Clearly makes time,” you chuckle sarcastically with an eye roll, before you realize what you’re actually saying. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be ranting to you about my boyfriend,” quickly covering your tracks with another laugh, this one lighthearted. 

“Isn’t that what friends do?” He nudges your leg with his own, covering any of his own transgressions towards your boyfriend smoothly, “Listen to other friends rant about their boyfriends?” 

You smile at him before looking up at the subway to car to see how much longer you have until your stop. You’ve still got 10 minutes. 

“Are you telling me there’s a boyfriend I haven’t heard you rant about?” You raise a brow at him attempting to make a joke with him. 

He chuckles, “I don’t discriminate,” he says pointedly, “But no, no one to complain about at the moment.” 

“That’s a little surprising to me,” you tell him honestly. He makes a humming noise in question, “I mean you’re funny, talented, attractive—“ you stop yourself, your heart twisting embarrassingly at your words. 

A playful smile crosses his lips, “Don’t inflate my ego too much Y/N.” 

You immediately shove him playfully telling him to shut up underneath your breath, “You know what I mean though.” 

His eyes look away from you as he looks to the front of the subway car. An exhale leaves his lips, shrugging his shoulders, “I dated a girl for a couple years but we broke up last semester,” he explains. 

You’re friends with Jungkook, so you don’t mind asking your question. “What happened?” 

He purses his lips in contemplation, his lip ring catches the reflection of the moving train, “I think I was more serious about the relationship than she was,” he clears his throat and you shuffle a little awkwardly in your seat, “I think we just wanted different things at the end of the day. It’s hard to make something like that work long term, you know?” 

His words send your heart rate skyrocketing and you can’t help but ask yourself if that’s the situation you and Taehyung are in. Though you and Taehyung have voiced a life together—actions speak louder than words. You look up again. Five minutes. 

You nod in response, unable to form any words. 

“It’s fine though,” he says, “Everything happens for a reason.” 

“Yeah, including meeting a guy who knocked me on my ass the first two times I met him,” you say jokingly, though you mean every word. You’re sure Jungkook was placed in your life for a reason; like a blossoming star in the galaxy burning bright to light up a universe. 

“You actually knocked me on my ass one of those times.” 

“Oh please,” you roll your eyes, “That was all dramatics Jeon Jungkook, I can see right through you.” 

He smirks with playful eyes, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” 

“I don’t know… is it?” Subconsciously, you bite your lip under his gaze. It drives Jungkook nuts. 

He quirks an eyebrow at you with soft eyes, “You tell me.” 

His gaze his heavy and there’s palpable tension between you two as the train comes to a slow. Thank god. 

 “This is my stop,” you announce. 

“I can walk with you if you want?” He offers, not wanting to leave you alone if you really don’t want to be alone. 

You shake your head softly since it’s still light outside, “I’m alright, thank you though.” 

He nods, not pushing you any farther. After the train stills fully, he stands up to let you through. Your chest brushes against his as you shimmy between him and the seats behind you. Unable to look away from him as you maneuver, you feel the tension increase with no space between you two. God, why does he have to look at you that way?

“Let me know when you get home,” he says as you get by him. You nod, waving him a final goodbye, a familiar heaviness in the bottom of your stomach. 

It takes about seven minutes to reach your complex from the subway station and as you’re walking into the main lobby, your phone pings. 

[Jeon Jungkook 5:23 PM] image.png

The image takes a moment to load, but a smile spreads across your face when you open it. The mirror selfie is cute as hell and it almost looks couple-ly. Jungkook is standing behind you, his arm thrown around your shoulder as you lean into him. You’re soft smiling into the camera, a peace sign in your left hand. You save the image to your camera roll immediately. 

[You 5:25 PM] Thank you :) I just got home btw! 

He sends a thumbs up, before another picture is sent through. This one loads faster since you’ve just walked into your apartment and his words leave you feeling like something is clogging your windpipe. 

It’s a picture that you had no idea he took of you—though you can’t really see any details of yourself, it’s stunning picture. Your silhouette in the dark with the surrounding lights is simply beautiful. 

[Jungkook 5:27 PM] I think you’re beautiful enough to fit into that exhibit 

[You 5:27 PM] You too

Yeah, you’re fucked.

⏤

For anyone else it was just another Monday, but for you—there had been a new page turned. You have no idea what conspired in your brain from Saturday to now, nevertheless something changed. Well, there had been a couple changes since then, however you’re trying to not focus on that. 

You woke up early this Monday with an itchiness to your body. You ended up going to a spin class at 6 AM, before hurrying to shower and getting to the university by 7:30. Before you could rethink your decision, you were throwing out every piece of artwork that you had finished in the last two months. A part of you was already regretting trashing the canvases as you hauled them overhead into the large dumpster bins. The major part of you felt relief and a sense of newness—for the first time in months, you felt inspired. 

The only way you knew you could take advantage of this newfound creative impulse, was to rid yourself of anything holding you back. That meant getting rid of the shit pieces you thought you would submit for the exhibition. 

You manically texted Sana a picture of your now empty studio and she responded immediately. 

[Sana 8:17 AM] what the actual fuck did you just do

[Sana 8:17 AM] Y/N it’s literally 8 AM are you okay 

You can’t help but laugh at her words as you sit in the floor of your workspace, typing a response quickly. 

[You 8:18 AM] A new me has awakened… that or I’m just very sleep deprived and acting out

[Sana 8:20 AM] i think it could be the latter

[Sana 8:20 AM] where has this new me come from? 

You purse your lips, trying to block out the scene from your brain. 

[You 8:21 AM] My therapist lol 

You know that’s not it, at least not all the way. Sure talking to her was always a highlight of your week when you did, finding a new perspective on your childhood and need for outside validation—but that was another story for a different day. A new wave of emotions—confusing, chest-tightening emotions have crawled through your veins in the last two days. Even if you know it’s so wrong—you’re holding onto them for the sake of the exhibit and your own sanity. 

It’s not long after when you pick out a new, clean fresh canvas for you to work on. You set it up on one of your larger easels, facing it towards the sunlight as best as you can. You decide to take a page from Sana’s book by creating a rough sketch of what you want to eventually put on the canvas. The ideas in your head are so particular, and so—heart wrenching—you wanted to ensure you translated it well. 

It takes about an hour to sketch the rough outline for the painting. You knew that painting this first piece would probably take a few days if you were consistent with it, wanting to add as much detail as possible. Realism was your speciality, but it never gets any easier. The slightest mistake can make a face, or hands, go from looking like a photograph to a cartoon character. You didn’t know what you wanted to call the piece yet, though you had a few ideas rummaging through your brain. 

Seokjin is calling you in for his 11 AM sketch class which you help with regularly. As you leave the serenity of your workspace, sudden anxiety fills your body. Your hands are clammy, your throat feels as if it’s constricting on itself, and your tummy is doing flips. Seeing him is the last thing you need, but you know his schedule very well at this point. 

A week ago, you wouldn’t have cared. Now, you feel as if an invisible line as been crossed.

As you step into the classroom, your mouth goes dry. Jungkook is sat in the middle of the classroom beside Lisa, both of them looking a little tired and chatting randomly. 

Seokjin looks at you with a small smile, “You were here early this morning,” he comments. 

You give him a smile back, hoping he doesn’t murder you after you say your next words, “I threw out my pieces.” 

His face drops, all color leaving it, “You did what?” He looks stunned as you grimace at him with an apologetic look on your face. He glances down at his watch which says it’s now exactly 11 before he says under his breath, “We’ll talk about this later.” 

It sounds threatening, but you know if you explain yourself well enough—he’ll let it slide. After all, he clearly wasn’t a fan of what you presented to him recently. You’ll prove to him that you’re new stuff will be ready for the exhibition, and more importantly—present a much better side of your art. 

“I hope everyone had a good weekend,” Seokjin greets everyone, with a few tired responses back. “Just a reminder for all of you participating in the exhibition, your pieces will be due at the end of this month, so make sure you’re staying on top of your deadlines.” 

You zone out of Seokjin’s housekeeping information for the class, letting your eyes wander around the classroom. Sketching was one of his larger classes, with students in other departments also taking the class as an elective. It was personally one of your favorite classes in undergrad. You were happy to help this class, given you felt you could actually help the students if they needed it. 

A breath hitches in the back of your throat when your gaze meets Jungkook’s from the front of the classroom. He’s staring at you with purpose, though his gaze soft and curious. You hadn’t spoken to him since your last text after the art exhibition. That wasn’t the plan, but given your mind wandering to places it shouldn’t have, you felt if you did talk to him—he would see right through you. 

You quickly break his eyes, unable to hold it without feeling too hot. 

A fucking sex dream. 

A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook. 

A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate. 

A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate in which you woke up in a panic, then having to use your vibrator to release the tension in your tummy. 

A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate in which you woke up in a panic, then having to use your vibrator to release the tension in your tummy—all while you have a boyfriend who’s away on a work trip. 

You’re unsure if you have ever had a dream so realistic and so blissful—even with Taehyung. Every time you closed your eyes since Saturday, all you could see was Jungkook’s face buried in between your thighs, your back arching off whatever surface you resided. 

You force yourself to stop thinking about it—you’re in the classroom for fucksakes. The last thing you need is for people to notice you squeezing your thighs together under the desk you’re sat.

“Y/N, are you good with that?” 

“Hm?” You mumble, realizing you’ve daydreamed through whatever Seokjin just explained. 

He looks annoyed as he lets out a deep breath, “Being the hand model today?” 

Your eyes widen, your mouth parting as you look down at your hands. Thankfully you got a manicure last week, though the almond acrylics have already grown out some. Even though Seokjin was posing everything as a question, you knew you had no choice. Especially if you didn’t want him on your ass about throwing out your paintings, you really had no choice. 

You nod slowly, Seokjin soon setting up the projector and camera for you to place your hands under. 

“Take as long as you need, turn in your sketches here,” Seokjin taps the corner of the large desk you’re sat at. 

You’re given free rein on how you position your hands, so you settle on something feminine and simple. You lay your left hand over your right delicately, your right palm flat against the wood. You feel a little insecure with your hands being projected as 10x the size above your head, but you relax knowing it’s just what you artists do. If you were in the students position, you would have much rather sketched your hands than the one time Seokjin made you all sketch someone’s feet one time in undergrad. 

The classroom stays pretty much silent, pencils and erasers against paper the only sound radiating. Time goes by slowly as they all continue to sketch, your eyes having not really left anything in close proximity to you. 

That changes when you hear a throat clearing, a tone you could pick out in a crowd. 

“Do you care to move your left hand a little forward, Y/N?” 

Jungkook’s voice is smooth through the silence. Instinctively, your eyes meet his again. You give him a nod as you reposition your hands slightly. It takes him a moment to get back to drawing, his gaze heavy on your eyes. You have to break away, your thighs itching for more relief. You look down at your hands, wondering how they would look around his cock. You imagine he’s thick, veiny—stop it, you idiot!

Whatever was going on in your head, it needed to be stopped and fast. You just didn’t know if you actually wanted it to. 

⏤

Taehyung comes back Friday morning, giving you a call as soon as he lands. You’re finishing up the piece you started on Monday when your phone rings. 

“Hi baby,” Taehyung greets you and you can hear a smile in his tone. It makes you smile in return. “Happy Friday,” he says knowingly.

“Happy Friday to you,” you respond, taking solace on your small couch for a small break. “You just land?” 

“About an hour ago, just got into my ride, heading to the office,” he explains. 

“You just got back from a two week trip and they’re making you go in office?” You ask him with confusion lacing your tone. You had no idea how he kept up with the demands of his job—if anything, the older you two get, you feel sorry for him. You knew he loved his job, but goddamn—it has to be too much sometimes? 

“Only working a half day today,” he pauses, “When do you finish today?” He asks eagerly. 

“Hmm,” you look at your watch, a nice gold piece of jewelry Taehyung actually got you a couple years ago for Christmas, “I’ll probably leave around three today.” 

“I’ll come to your place then,” he says, a particularly suggestive tone to his voice. You find yourself smiling as you relax into the couch some, letting out a deep sigh. “Roses and a bottle of champagne included,” he adds. 

“No need for all that,” you bite your lip in anticipation, “Unless we’re celebrating something?” 

“Lots to celebrate baby,” he says, “You and I have a fancy date tomorrow.” 

“Do we?” You press, chewing on some skin around your thumb nail but quickly stop, not wanting to ruin your cuticles. You then bring your left hand up, staring at your ring finger. 

“Oh yes,” he says hurriedly, “Listen I’m about to go into the office, but I’ll give you more details when I come over okay? Love you.” 

“I love you too,” you say before he’s ending the call. While your heart swells at the thought of “celebrating,” something, you can’t help but be a little skeptical. The rush in Taehyung’s tone shows there’s something he’s nervous about, but you take it as a good thing. Nervous about proposing? You could only hope. 

The rest of the afternoon you finish up your painting, a relieved sigh coming from your lips as you sign the bottom right corner with your initials. It’s just how you imagined it—the bubbles leaving the girl’s mouth and nose as she screams under the water, her hands clawing for the surface, but the weight of a cinderblock tied to her ankle sinking her down in an abyss of dark water. 

You settle on calling it Drowning for the Sake of Drowning. 

⏤

As you’re gathering up your belongings to get ready to leave, you exhale in relief. You’ve kept the door to your workspace closed all week unlike usual, indicating for no one to bother you. Sana brought you lunch a couple days ago but aside from that, little to no interaction has occurred with anyone. 

You’ve managed to fully avoid Jungkook this entire week after the sketching class on Monday—which is exactly what you’ve needed. The boy with the lip piercing has taken up too much space in your brain recently. You like having Jungkook as a friend, but that’s all he can ever be and until your brain can separate that and whatever feelings you’ve garnered for him over the last few weeks, avoiding him like the plague is your only solution. 

Of course, nothing in your life ever goes to plan which is why you nearly knock yourself over when you run right into him as you leave your office. 

“Shit, you okay? We really have to stop doing this,” He asks you with a slight laugh. It takes you a moment to nod in response as you stare up at him with parted lips. Any progress you’ve made of pushing him out of your mind, crumbling entirely. He’s in your brain again, his face in your thighs, hands gripping your hips—

“You’re leaving already?” He asks as he observes your tote bag held tight to you, the door to your space closed. 

You clear your throat while simultaneously clearing your head, “Y-yeah, I finished my piece early,” you pause, debating if you should say your next sentence, but you know morally you should, “Taehyung came back today.”

Jungkook stiffens, scratching the back of his head, “Can we talk?” His voice is timid, but stern in what he wants. 

If you hadn’t thought about your answer, you probably would have gladly invited him back into your workspace and god knows what would have happened. 

“I can’t right now,” you say, “I’m meeting Taehyung around three,” you explain, your feet picking yourself up to brush past him. It’s close to 2:45, which means you don’t have much time to get home. 

Jungkook startles you when he grabs your forearm to stop you, “Y/N, wait,” his voice is rushed and desperate as he turns his body to face you, you pressed flush against his chest. You jerk out of his grip, taking steps backwards. 

“Jungkook,” you say warningly, “I can’t do this right now,” your voice is weak and unconvincing as you turn around, rushing away from him. 

Jungkook decides on letting you go giving a frustrated tug on his hair as he watches your frame disappear down the hallway. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles to himself, kicking the closest wall to him, ignoring any pain that shoots up from his foot. 

⏤

You’re standing in front of your large mirror, examining your dress to ensure it’s smooth in all the right places. It’s a silk midi-dress that’s a light sage green color complimenting your skin tone beautifully. There’s small, tasteful cutouts on the side that leads it to an open back. 

“Wow baby,” Taehyung gives you a pretty smile as he enters your bedroom, “You look great.” 

You’re in the process of lacing up your heels around your ankle, throwing him a small smile. 

“Thank you, you look handsome.” 

He’s wearing another one of his immaculately tailored suits, though he’s ditched a tie and vest, opting for a more casual look—well casual for him being that it’s a work-sponsored party. 

Turns out, the big fancy date Taehyung referred to yesterday was an invite only company party at Taehyung’s boss’s, boss’s, boss’s estate. While it wasn’t a typical Saturday night for you two, with a chance to dress up with free food and booze, it was something you couldn’t say no to. (Even if you wanted to say no—you really had no choice—you were there to support Taehyung.)

“Will you help me with this?” You ask him as you hold up a necklace. He obliges, stepping towards you, he gently grabs the necklace ensuring any stray hair pieces were out of the way as he encircles to clasp it around your neck. Once he’s finished, he wraps two strong arms around your front, pulling you flesh against his front. 

“You smell good,” he inhales your scent as he nuzzles into your neck, pressing his hips into your backside. 

“Taehyung,” you laugh, fighting away from his grip, “Our ride is almost here,” you turn around giving him a pointed look. He pouts with a groan, but you give him a quick peck to wipe the sour look off his face. 

The estate is about thirty minutes outside the city and being in such a fancy car with a driver, you already feel slightly uncomfortable. One of the reasons you were attracted to Taehyung was because of how different he was from you and your upbringing. You felt as if you desperately craved something different from what your parents had. You liked the idea of simplicity—black and white. No chaotic artsy types. However, as the car continues its drive to the fanciest suburb of the city, you can’t help but feel the differences swallowing you whole. 

Taehyung’s busy on his phone seeming to be answering emails—yes, at 8 PM on a Saturday night. Your foot is tapping nervously against the floor, an uneasy feeling settling again in your tummy. Ever since Taehyung showed up at your apartment yesterday—a man of his words—with roses and champagne, something deep within you felt off. Flashes of another set of brown eyes strike across your lids each time you close them. 

You obviously hadn’t had sex since Taehyung had been gone, almost a three week dry spell, and it was just… okay. You found it hard to relax the minute Taehyung initiated it, your muscles tense as he undressed you slowly wanting to make love to you after one glass of champagne. Maybe it’s where Taehyung is still keeping secret on whatever you two are supposed to be celebrating or it’s Jeon Jungkook himself—your body physically wouldn’t let you come in Taehyung’s presence. Two rounds of sex ended with you having to use your vibrator to finally get off and the third round this morning, you ending up faking an orgasm—something you haven’t done in years. 

The driver is in queue for drop off service, letting you and Taehyung out as soon as he could. You eyes are marveling at the sheer size of the home. It almost makes you sick when you think about people having this much money. There’s not one, not two—but three fountains just at the front of the house. Two are positioned beside the large entrance and the third is in the middle of the circled driveway. 

From what you can tell, there are a good amount of people inside already, the large windows indicating that. 

“Whose house this again?” You say in awe as Taehyung grabs your hand. 

“The President of our company,” he says, keeping his voice low as other people are walking in around you. 

“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself when you cross the threshold, immediately greeted with flutes of champagne. 

Taehyung smiles down at you as he takes a sip, “Get used to it baby,” he comments with a light-hearted tone, but you know he’s being serious. You don’t like it. 

The inside of the home is just as lavish as it looks from the outside. It’s modern, with clean lines and sharp contrasts of whites, creams, browns, and blacks. The large foyer is an open concept, the house opening up in multiple ways. There’s two staircases that lead to the upstairs, corridors that lead elsewhere to the left and right, and if you continue straight, that’s where the main party seems to be. The living room is large and open, warm ambient lighting filling the space. There’s a 70’s inspired conversational pit with a large plush couch that’s the center of the room. It’s absolutely stunning. 

You two haven’t been in the house for two minutes until his coworkers and others are coming up to greet Taehyung. He introduces you with a big smile, holding you by the waist as he does so. You sense you’re one of the younger ones of the groups you go around to, sometimes forgetting that Taehyung has almost four years on you. His words come naturally to him and you try your best to converse with people and their plus ones—but you find it hard, unable to find any common ground with anyone. 

Taehyung is talking to one of his closet coworkers that you’ve met many times—Jaebum—before the latter’s eyes widen. 

“Shit Tae, there he is,” he speaks lowly, his head directing what he’s referring to. 

“Who?” You ask curiously, looking around to find someone special but everyone seems to look the same. Clean cut, nice suits, hot women and men as their dates, a few children even running around freely. 

“The President,” Taehyung explains, “Shit and he’s coming over here with Minwoo,” he sounds nervous, Jaebum visibly shifting his weight in his shoes. Minwoo was Taehyung’s boss—luckily you remember that from previous work tangents. 

As Minwoo and the president approaches the small group of you three, you suddenly feel a little insecure when Taehyung takes a step away from you. A large smile spreads across his face as they approach and your feet hurt a little more now that he’s not letting you lean on him. Is he ashamed of you? Why did he step away? 

“Kim Taehyung, Lim Jaebum, the two greatest assets to my team,” Minwoo smiles widely as he enters your circle. 

“Minwoo, how are you?” Taehyung reaches out to give him a handshake, then bowing to the President. 

“Can’t complain about anything,” Minwoo has a great smile, “Who is this beautiful lady?” His eyes have gravitated to you. 

“This is Y/N,” Taehyung introduces you with a nervousness to his tone, “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet both of you,” you smile with a small bow of respect. 

“These are the two I’ve heard so much about, eh?” The President speaks with a cadence that sounds familiar but you can’t place your tongue on it. 

“Like I said, the very best in the Seoul office,” he smiles, “Have either of you met President Jeon?”

It’s as if your entire world shuts down instantaneously. It can’t be—there’s no way. 

“I can’t say we’ve ever had the pleasure sir,” Jaebum nudges Taehyung and suddenly you have never felt more uncomfortable, more out of place, than ever. 

They all speak briefly before suddenly, President Jeon’s attention is set on you. As you study his face, you feel your nightmare coming true. Finance, the eye shape, the nose—

“So what do you do Miss Y/N? Are you involved in business too?” He asks with a smile, though you’re unsure if it’s just a facade. 

You’re nervous to answer, but you finally muster to shake your head, “No sir,” you start, “I’m an artist, I’m under apprenticeship with someone right now.”

His eyes suddenly light up, “Really? Which artist do you work with?” He sounds fascinated and you hate where you think this may be going. 

“Kim Seokjin, I’m not sure if you know of him,” suddenly in need of a glass of something stronger than champagne. 

“Do I know Kim Seokjin?” He nearly laughs, “If you walk the halls of the house I’m sure you’ll recognize some of his pieces on the walls,” he says boastfully, your nightmare coming true, “One of my sons actually goes to university where he teaches, you may know him… Jeon Jungkook?” 

For whatever reason, the mention of this name catches Taehyung’s attention who is caught up in conversation with Minwoo and Jaebum. He’s listening to the original conversation in one ear, the other trained in on yours with the President.

“I don’t think I do actually,” you lie smoothly trying to hide the shakiness in your voice. 

“Ah, that’s a shame, though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes so that might be a good thing,” he jokes with a laugh before turning his attention back to Taehyung and Jaebum. 

When you look back up at Taehyung, he’s staring at you with an intense glare, his jaw slightly clenched. You furrow your eyebrows, asking him a silent, “what’s wrong?” He ignores it, his face relaxing back to normal when he looks at his superiors. 

“Well, I truly hope that after the move you two only continue to move up in the company as quickly as you already have,” Minwoo says a you zone back into their conversation. Wait, what? 

“Ah yes,” President Jeon says, “The office in Chicago is nearly finished and to be able to fill it with analysts of your caliber, it will only continue to grow this great company.” 

Chicago?! Your face falls, your eyebrows furrowing as you look over at Taehyung. His body is tense, but he’s refusing to look at you. You suddenly feel dizzy and sick to your stomach, your hands clammy as if you’re going to throw up. Before Taehyung can stop you while his attention is elsewhere, you excuse yourself, attempting to find the nearest bathroom. 

The house is gigantic and it doesn’t take long to find a one as you’re sure there are probably 20 on the entire property. You balance yourself on the sink, turning on the cold water water quickly. You grab a towel to wet it, carefully applying it to your chest to cool off. 

Taehyung’s being moved? Is Taehyung choosing to move? When was he going to tell you this?! Is this the sole reason he asked to move in together?! But meaning in Chicago, not here?! 

You needed a fucking drink. You throw the towel in a waste basket, exiting the bathroom quickly. You hold onto the wall as you walk down the hallway, looking for the nearest open bar. You manage to find one set up just outside, which overlooks a large entertainment area and pool. If you squint, in the distance you can see the lights of the city. God—you wanted to go home. 

You settle for a glass of a dark red wine, sniffing it before you take a large sip. It instantly relaxes you, the alcohol moving past your tongue easily. If anything—it tastes like grape juice. 

Wanting to avoid Taehyung at all costs, you mosey around the party, finding a staircase outside that leads back into the house. You slowly take the stairs, your mind racing a million miles per hour. You’re sure Taehyung has tried to call you at this point, but your phone is buried deep in your shoulder bag on purpose. You don’t think you can face him at all right now. After this glass of wine, you’ve decided you’re going to call an Uber and get the hell out of here. 

As you reach the top of the stairs, you stop dead in your tracks. Right in front of you stands Jeon Jungkook. He’s bent at the waist, leaning over the railing with a wine glass in hand. His gaze was looking out into nothing but since he’s heard heels coming up stairs to his right, his head turns to find you. 

He nearly drops his wine glass—which would have definitely injured someone below—or at least severely stained a shirt or two. 

“Y/N?” He asks, standing up tall. Goddamnit, you think. He’s dress immaculately in a thickly-striped suit with a white button up that’s slightly undone at the top. His hair is slightly parted back off his forehead and you feel yourself spiraling. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks after you’re unable to speak. After meeting Jungkook’s father, you’re definitely not surprised to see him here—but if anything, you feel as if you could break down in tears at any moment. 

You realize that you’ve seemingly walked up to a balcony that enters into a large bedroom. You wonder if it’s Jungkook’s bedroom, or just a random guest balcony he’s found solace in. 

“I—“ you cut yourself off, trying to keep your composure, “I’m with Taehyung,” you manage to croak out. You can see the puzzle pieces clicking together for Jungkook in his head despite the darkness surrounding you two. However, it’s not that he cares about—

“Y/N… are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern, stepping towards you slightly. 

He notices the way your wine glass subtly shakes in your hand, your breathing uneven, your lips tucked away as you begin to shake your head no. He makes no time in rushing over to you steadying yourself against him. 

“What happened?” He asks as his brows lace with confusion as he settles you some against the railing, feeling a worry creep into him like he’s never felt before. 

You’re more even with Jungkook’s height in your heels now, your eyes bearing deep into his. His presence is calming you down and you feel safe right here. You open your mouth to speak, though nothing comes out. He’s patient and gentle with you, waiting for whenever you’re ready. 

You take another sip of your wine before speaking, “I think Taehyung’s been lying to me.” 

Jungkook’s face falls, “What do you mean?” He asks in a rush. 

“It’s not important,” is what you settle on. You don’t know if you’re in the mood to explain anything to Jungkook—let alone if you want to explain anything.

His face goes straight, letting out a deep breath, “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he pauses, stepping away from you some to lean against the rail whilst facing you. “But I’m here if you want to talk… I want you to be okay.” 

His words feel like a warm hug wrapping around your heart. You lean back on your elbows, staring up at the stars. Deep breathes, you tell yourself. When you look back to him, his gaze hasn’t left you at all. 

“How can I be okay in a world like this?” Your voice breaks off as you bat tears away in your eyes. “All of this,” you motion with your hands, referencing all the luxury and extravagance, wine dangerously swishing around, “Wasn’t supposed to be the plan… why does my partner of almost five years feel the need to not tell me about him moving six-thousand miles away for his fucking job,” your voice now bitter and angry as you break his eye contact. 

Shit, Jungkook thinks. He bites his lip ring, contemplating his words and emotions. He hates to compare you to his mother—you’re much more of a strong-headed person than her—but it’s so reminiscent of his childhood and listening to her on the phone with her girlfriends and the arguments with his father. 

“It’s only ever about work with him,” you continue, a fire burning deep within you, “Why should I have to be the one to drop everything in my life to cater to him? Have the past five years of my life been a fucking waste?” again, you have to be conscious of your center of gravity as you feel tears wanting to brim over. 

“Don’t say that,” he quickly interjects, his tone soft and calm. 

“Well it sure fucking feels like it Jungkook,” you spit back at him, though he remains calm and collected. “He won’t even fucking marry me yet he’ll drop everything for this job and all the fucking fake extravagance of it all.” 

When you mention marriage, Jungkook is slightly taken aback. Obviously he’s picked up that your relationship has been long and serious, but there’s been no indication of thoughts of marriage. Hell, Jungkook didn’t even hear you mention Taehyung until weeks after you first met. 

Your voice trembles as you speak, unable to fight your emotions anymore, "I want friendship in my love for Taehyung but I don't want just a friend," you sip on the wine slowly as Jungkook watches you closely.

"I want to be cared for, and protected, and indulged⎯⎯" you pause again, trying to make sense of your words, "I want to be chosen everyday... is that too much of me to ask?"

Jungkook shifts in his position to fully face you. He shakes his head, one of his hands brushing a piece of hair behind your ear gently.

"It's never too much to ask," he says, his words careful yet understanding. He's felt these emotions all too well himself. He chose his ex-girlfriend everyday, yet she seemingly never chose him. It's an excruciating pain when you love someone more than they love you.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this,” you mutter, downing the rest of your wine glass to avoid a spill. 

“Y/N, you know I care about you,” he says with a careful tone. You meet his gaze again, which now is a little more harsh as if something is stirring inside him, “Can I be honest with you?” He raises a brow. 

“Always,” you whisper, slightly afraid of what he’s about to say. Mirroring you, he downs the rest of his wine too for some confidence.

“I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t belong and out of place. I mean this is where I fucking grew up,” he lifts a hand, a laugh emitting from him, “I think you’re one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. Y/N, you posses a talent that people can only dream of. You’re smart, and kind, and funny, and so fucking beautiful,” he pauses as he clenches his jaw, “You walk into a room and all I see is you. You radiate a spark that I can’t even begin to describe how special you are and if—“ 

He cuts himself off, afraid he may take it too far, but when you’re still fully attentive, he says it anyways. 

“And if you marry someone like him, I’m afraid that spark will go away,” he pauses, “I know it will go away… because it happened to my mother,” his voice is barely a whisper as he finishes, him being the one to break eye contact with you. “So no, it's not too much to ask. You deserve someone who chooses you, puts you above everything—“ he cuts himself off before he can continue on, sighing deeply as he glances away from you. 

You’re simply speechless as his words sink into your bones. Your breath is shaky and you can tell Jungkook thinks he’s overstepped his boundaries. You don’t think he has, but his words do feel like someone has cauterized your insides. It hurts to hear a harsh truth, but as his words sink in, you can’t help but wonder if he’s right. 

“Sorry I just—“

“It’s okay,” you speak softly when you interrupt him, “I want you to know that… I think you’re special too, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook’s hand that’s on the railing begins to tighten around it, his knuckles turning white as frustration pulses through his veins. You notice his tight grip and you place your own hand over his to relax him some. There’s mere inches between you two now, but it’s comforting and it feels like only you two are left in the world—the party raging down below and throughout the house drowning out. While your head is spinning from the two glasses of alcohol that you had sipped on earlier, you know that most of it comes from his intoxicating scent. He’s everywhere at all times and you think this is some sick joke manifesting itself into reality as you feel yourself leaning into him. When he says your name slow and calculated, you know that you’re a puddle in his hands, ready for all the consequences that may come with your decision. You just don’t know exactly how it could have reached this point. 

“Y/N,” he says again as he’s now got you trapped between his body and the railing, your nose is brushing against his and you’ve never experienced a want so badly in your life, “We shouldn’t do this.” 

Your breathing is rugged and nervous as you look into his eyes. 

“I know,” you whisper back, your throat feeling like it could close up any second. 

You have no idea who leans in first, but when your lips touch his—it’s a spark that might as well be made of lightening. It’s terrifying the way it took only three seconds to melt into him and get a groove. He feels like he’s been dipped in honey and you’re eating him sweet and slowly. He inhales deeply through his nose as he deepens the kiss by opening your mouth with his tongue, his lip ring slightly cold against your skin. He tastes like red wine, furthering intoxicating you against the railing. Your hands slide up his chest, tangling into his hair as you pull him flush against you.

He breaks the kiss for a moment, looking you in the eyes again for another silent question of consent. You nod quickly, missing the feeling of him on you. This time, he kisses you a bit rougher as one hand digs into your waist, the other halfway choking you. God—this is so wrong, so morally wrong—but every bone in your body is screaming yes. 

You don’t think you’ve experienced anything of this magnitude in years. You feel him growing hard in front of you, which only further escalates your feelings towards him. When you drag your hand down and over his growing bulge, he breaks away quickly. 

“Shit Y/N,” he breathes away grabbing your hand away from his most sensitive area, “We need to stop.” 

You shake your head, never wanting this moment to end. He continues to kiss you feverishly, unable to get enough of you.

“I wanna make you feel good,” you breathe out heavily as his forehead rests against yours. 

“I know baby, I do too,” his use of the word baby sends a jolt down your spine, “But we can’t.” 

His voice is strained and it’s painful for him to stop whatever was about to happen. He wants nothing more than to bury his mouth in between your legs and then stuff you full of his cock thereafter—but it has to stop. Not only is your boyfriend at this party, probably looking through hell and high water to find you—but Jungkook’s father is your boyfriend’s boss. This can’t happen. 

A small whine from rejection leaves your throat, but you know he’s right. Not only did you just cheat on your boyfriend of nearly five years—said boyfriend was still at the party you were his date at.

Fuck. 

“Are you going to go home with him?” He asks suddenly. You honestly hadn’t thought about it since being away from Taehyung. You were still angry and frustrated with him, unsure if you even wanted to see him again tonight. 

You push Jungkook away from you a little bit to shrug off your shoulder bag to retrieve your phone. To your surprise, you only have two texts and one call from Taehyung, which honestly make your heart drop. You were expecting more, but you assume that work calls and he was too busy to try and actually find you. 

[Taehyung 9:02 PM] Are you okay?? Where did you go? 

[Taehyung 9:37 PM] We should talk when we go home. Call me when you see this. 

Jungkook watches you bite your lip nervously, feeling a bits of shame fall over your body. You meet his eye contact before saying that you should go. 

“I’ll walk you out,” he offers, which you don’t refuse. You’re not sure you could find your way out of here. There’s an awkward silence between you and Jungkook as he floats through the halls of his childhood home easily. You end up recognizing two of Seokjin’s pieces on the walls and you have to roll your eyes—there’s no escaping him in your world.

You still can’t believe Jungkook grew up to be who is he when he was raised like this. Beautiful, creative, and free—all from this stuffy background when he could have easily turned out to be a nepotistic douchebag. It makes your feelings towards him only grow even deeper. 

At this point, there's no trying to fight it. You've fallen for Jungkook, your kiss with him the final seal of the deal.

The two of you have reached the foyer where you first entered and you instantly spot Taehyung up near the front door talking to another one of his colleagues. You feel like you could throw up and you almost change your mind—wanting to turn around and hide with Jungkook somewhere in this mansion. But, both of you have created a mess at this point and you’re going to have to clean it up. 

Taehyung’s eyes have traveled all over—looking worried—until they land on you. He looks relieved but as soon as he spots who you are walking with, he visibly tenses up. 

“You should go,” you turn to Jungkook, stopping in your tracks briefly. He looks down at you with an expression you can’t read, giving you one nod before he’s turning on his heel away from you. 

You don’t waste anytime looking at him not wanting Taehyung to be suspicious of anything, continuing your march to him. 

“Hey—where have you been?” Taehyung’s voice is calm, a sweet smile spreading across his face when you reach him. He doesn’t bother introducing you to the other guy and his date, ending the conversation and practically dragging you outside by the hand in a tight, rough squeeze and pull. 

“Taehyung you’re hurting me,” you manage to get out, Taehyung immediately dropping your hand. 

“Shit,” he runs a stressed hand through his hair, “I’m sorry babe,” he grabs it kissing it gently as the driver pulls up the car, “I’ve just been worried about you—“

“Only two texts and one call worried?” You retort, an offended look crossing his face. “Or are you too worried about your impression at this fucking party to worry about me? Too worried about your move to Chicago to worry about me?” Your words are fiery hot, not caring if anyone around hears you. 

His eyes narrow at you, a visible gulp in his throat. 

“We’ll talk about this at home,” his own voice is seething and you’re unsure if you’ve ever heard him this angry. As the car pulls up, his eyes flicker back over to the front entrance of the house. You promptly follow them, your heart stopping when you realize Jungkook is leaning against a column at the front of his house, lighting a cigarette in the process. 

As you get into the car, the last thing you see is Jungkook’s eyes in the dark and the glow of his cigarette. Taehyung gets in after you and you know for sure that you’ve made a wrong decision. 

⏤

“How could you hide this from me?!” You’re voice is shaky as you watch as Taehyung stands in the kitchen of his apartment, leaning on his palms, unable to keep eye contact with you. You two hadn’t spoken once in the car on the way back to his place, but as soon as you crossed the threshold—you’d been at his throat. Rightfully so.

“Y/N I was going tell to you—“ he pauses as he looks up at you, but you interject before he can say anything else. 

“When Taehyung?!” You’re fighting tears at this point, “When you got on the fucking plane to leave me here alone?!” 

He makes his way over to you and the only thing you can do is step away from him—you could barely look at him right now, let alone want him to touch you. He opens his mouth to say something back, but closes it quickly, trying to think more about his words.

“I didn’t know how to Y/N,” is what he settles for, “I swear I was going to tell you soon—I-I wanted to let you know and for us to get excited and start looking at places to live!”

You feel a tear fall from your left eye and you know that you’re done for, your jaw shaking as you try to take deep breaths in and out. You begin to shake your head, unable to form sentences. 

“Y-you should have t-talked to me about it first Taehyung, do you not understand that?” More tears fall down your cheeks and you brush them away roughly. He opens his mouth again but you stop him—“No Taehyung! Just shut up for two seconds!” Your outburst startles him, letting you continue, “We’ve been together for almost five years—five years Taehyung, you’ve continuously put your career over everything. Your family, friends, me—“

“I’m doing this for us Y/N!” He interrupts you which only makes you even more pissed off. 

“What if I don’t want it Taehyung?!” You push back, “All I’ve ever wanted was just… you. I don’t need the fancy parties, tailored suits—all the money and status, it’s all bullshit! All I needed was you and now you’re leaving your life here, expecting me to just drop everything I’ve worked for, just for you! Do you not realize how fucking selfish that is Taehyung?!” 

You can tell he’s about to cry now—a rare sight. His jaw clenches as he looks away from you, hands on his hips in frustration. When he doesn’t say anything, you take a step towards him, putting a finger to his chest. 

“You’ll go halfway across the globe, that committed to your job and you won’t even fucking commit to me—after five years—you don’t want to fully commit to me, and that’s what’s fucking killing me right now Tae…” your voice trails off, a full on sob escaping your lips now. 

“Baby you know that’s not true,” he rushes out, grabbing your wrist in desperation, “I love you so much, so fucking much. There’s never been anyone so perfect for me,” he chokes out. 

His touch is comforting, but it feels strange. You feel like you don’t know the person standing in front of you. 

You’re shaking your head slowly, “Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it,” you pause, looking at him through watery eyes, “And this is one of those times.” 

“Y/N, baby please don’t cry,” he leans down, his forehead touching yours, “We can work through this, we’ll build a good life together I promise… I just have to make this move for me, our life will be so good…” 

Selfish, selfish, selfish. 

Your heart feels like it’s being ripped to shreds in your chest. It’s like you’re drowning, unable to come up for air. Your eyes close firmly as you lean into him. 

“Taehyung I love you so much,” you whisper, “But I’m not leaving my life here,” you pause, opening your eyes again, “I can’t do it.” 

Your words feel like gunshots to your own chest, choking on your mild sobs. Taehyung is shaking his head in denial, his own emotions becoming too overwhelming. 

“No, no, no baby please,” he’s begging you, pleading with you, “Don’t say that to me please,” his deep voice is so shaky you can barely understand him, “You’re breaking my heart right now.” 

“So are you,” you can’t talk louder even if you wanted to. You felt your entire body being broken in half, as if a piece of you is being ripped out from under you, “I should go,” you wiped your face as you try to pull yourself away from him. 

He pulls you back, “No, Y/N, please don’t do this right now.” 

You fight against him, pushing yourself off of him, “I need to go home Tae.” 

He doesn’t fight you anymore, watching as you gather your purse and phone off his kitchen counter. He whispers your name again as you open his front door to leave. You turn over your shoulder, tears still streaming down your cheeks. 

“I love you,” his voice is weak and tired. 

You nod, “I love you too.” 

You find yourself sitting on the steps outside of Taehyung’s apartment building, knees to your chest as you continue to sob to yourself. Taehyung lived in one of the nicest parts of the city in one of the nicest apartment complexes, so you weren’t wary of anyone sketchy finding you on the steps. The only thing you could think about was getting out of this dress and heels—a hot shower to cry in—and curling into a warm blanket for sleep, ignoring everything that just happened. 

Was this a breakup? 

Should you go back upstairs? 

Would you really not move with Taehyung?

So many questions are spinning in your head that you need to be distracted from. You pull out your phone, calling the one person you'd want to see right now. 

⏤

You walk into the threshold of Jungkook’s apartment a little after midnight. Lucky for you, he answered on the second ring, on the way back from leaving his parents home. He’s been worried sick the entire drive back to his apartment. You’ve barely spoken a word, tears and choked sobs emitting from your lips. He made the effort to hold your hand the entire drive, which you gladly accepted. He sets down your heels at the door with his own shoes, following in behind you. 

Thankfully, you’ve calmed down significantly on the drive over. You take in your environment, inhaling the familiar scent on Jungkook. His apartment is a studio and its spotless, abate a corner filled with art supplies in his living room. The entire right side of his apartment is exposed brick, his bed situated closer to the large floor to ceiling window, a large couch a few feet over, partitioned by a desk and plant. His apartment is much more modern than yours, grey and cream being the prominent color he’s chosen to utilize. 

“Thank you,” you turn around to meet his eyes which have the same concerned look in them since he’s picked you up. 

He nods, not wanting to press any hard questions to you just yet, “Do you want some water? Anything else?” 

You nod, “Sure, water is good.” 

He quickly grabs you a glass, filling it with his Brita in the fridge, handing it over to you as fast as can. It feels good as you drink it, your throat raw from all the crying and voice raising. 

“Do you want me to take you home in a bit?” He asks hesitantly as he shrugs off his jacket. 

“I—I was hoping I could stay…” you trail off, “I’ll take the couch,” you add quickly, “I just don’t really want to be alone right now.”

He gives you a soft smile, a small dimple forming on his cheek, “Of course, I’ll take the couch, don’t worry about it.” 

Jungkook makes you feel right at home, offering you a shower and clothes. You happily take them both, turning on his shower as hot as it can go. His bathroom impresses you even more with how clean it is and you finally feel like you’re able to relax after this hellish evening. You don’t wash your hair, only scrubbing your body and makeup off, but it’s still a good shower. Jungkook’s products smell good and you like the idea of smelling like him. 

Once you’re out, you quickly change into the large long sleeve t-shirt he’s giving you. The sleeves go way past your hands and it hits you around mid-thigh. It’s soft and comfy, reminding you of many nightgowns you have back at your place. He even has some body lotion in the cabinet and you run some over your legs just so you don’t wake up ashy. 

You hang up your towel on the rack before heading back out into the studio space. You find Jungkook sitting on his couch, manspread slightly with his phone in one hand, a glass of wine in another. He must have just opened a bottle, given the cork and bottle are on the coffee table.

He notices you when you get close, sitting down beside him with a heavy sigh. Your mind and body are exhausted. His couch is comfy and you could fall asleep right now with him by your side. He offers you a sip of his wine, which you gladly take. 

“Red or white?” You ask him curiously. 

He purses his lips in contemplation before answering red, “It reminds me of grape juice,” he adds. 

You give him a small smile, the universe continuing to give parallels of your and Jungkook’s lives. 

After a few moments of silence and finishing the glass of wine together, Jungkook finally asks, “What happened Y/N?” 

Your breath is shaky and you quickly ask him to pour another glass of wine for you two. 

“I think Taehyung and I may have broken up,” you don’t believe the words as you say them yourself. Your eyes are fixated on the floor, your leg bouncing up and down to keep your composure. 

“You think?” He questions further, confusion lacing his tone. 

“H-he,” you pause, holding in any further tears, “He’s really moving,” you confirm from the conversation earlier, “He’s moving six-thousand miles away from here and just thought I would be okay with it,” you regain your consciousness, looking to your right into Jungkook’s eyes, “I don’t have to be okay with that, do I?” 

Jungkook rests his head against the back of his couch as his eyes soften for you, “No, you don’t,” he shakes his head. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry I called you, I shouldn’t—“

“Hey,” his hand finds the side of your face and you lean into his touch, “You’re my friend, you could call me anytime and I’d answer.” 

You don’t know who put Jungkook into your life or why, but the timing was immaculate. He was put in your life when you seemingly needed a breath of fresh air and a new ray from the sun. You’re thankful for it. 

“I’m sorry about earlier too,” you say, referring to the kiss you two shared on the small balcony. 

Suddenly a playful smirk spreads on his face, “I’m not,” he says biting his lip ring. You can’t help but let out a laugh, him matching you as you both down the second glass of wine. Jungkook opens up an arm for you and you cuddle up next to him, leaning into his body and scent. You’ve done a complete 180 in the last hour, all thanks to the man to your right. 

The two of you continue to talk about random things, him trying his best to make you feel better through lighthearted jokes and other things. Neither one of you mention Taehyung again which you’re grateful for. It’s not long until you find your eyes drifting to sleep, unable to keep them open any longer, you fall asleep curled into Jungkook, his head leaning on yours, wishing that he could stitch up every single wound in your heart.

⏤

You wake up the next morning pretty early, your head slightly hurting. Did you really drink that much last night? You’re warm and comfortable, the bed under you molding to your frame perfectly. When your vision finally focuses, a panicked thump of your heart occurs. Wait—you lean up on your elbows sightly looking around the apartment. Everything from last night comes rushing back into your head and you look over to your left to find Jungkook sleeping peacefully on his tummy, his face halfway buried in his pillow. 

The sight makes you smile as you maneuver underneath the covers to reach over and grab a sip of water from his small nightstand. You wonder why Jungkook is in bed with you, but then as you go through every scene in your head, you briefly remember Jungkook carrying you over to his bed, eyes barely open. You then remember telling him to stay with you, that he was warm and you were cold. Of course, he couldn’t say no. 

“Mm,” a noise comes from Jungkook garnering your attention. When you look over at him, he’s got one eye open looking at you, a small smile playing on his face, “Come back to bed,” he mutters. 

And it’s exactly what you do. You finish the small amount of water left before you situate yourself back into his sheets. Jungkook moves onto his side, opening his arms for your frame. You press your back to his chest as he pulls you close, spooning you from behind comfortably. His scent was everywhere, he was everywhere, and before you know it, you’re falling back to sleep together. 

It’s a couple hours later when you wake up again, feeling much more rested and your head not pounding anymore. Jungkook’s arm is still around your front resting just below your belly button as he holds you close. The shirt that you wear has bunched up around your hips, your bare legs touching his covered in sweatpants. 

You consider yourself to be very hyper-aware of your surroundings. You always have been—taking in every detail of every moment carefully and calculated. Sometimes you use it to your advantage, sometimes you don’t. This is one of those times where you’re feeling every detail, a breath hitching in your throat.

Jungkook is half-hard behind you. Whether it’s that, or how dangerously close his hand is to your pelvic bone, there’s a jolt of lighting that pulses through your veins. You bite your lip in contemplation weighing through options in your head. 

Taehyung and you may have broken up—a grey area still there and growing. Despite how you’re possessing guilt about last night, you’re not sure if the relationship can be salvaged—whether the kiss with Jungkook happened or not. You love him, have loved him for so long—but he’s leaving and you’re not going with him.

You definitely know you need to speak with him again, sooner rather than later. If you do nothing, you still have to speak with him. 

Jungkook has been a ray of light in your life the past month. Ever since the friendly date at the art gallery, there’s been a tension between you two that was briefly explored last night with a simple kiss. You’ve been very self-aware of your feelings for Jungkook. You know he makes you feel inspired, seen, heard—but still, if you do nothing, you still have to talk to Taehyung. 

If you do something, you’ll still have to talk to Taehyung. 

But right here, right now, it’s something that you push to the back of your mind, deciding on the latter. 

Feeling a little nervous, you push your hips back into Jungkook, though slightly moving in his grip to not make it too obvious. He doesn’t budge, so you try again. This time, Jungkook stirs behind you slightly, cortisol levels increasing with anxiousness. 

You wait a few moments before you carefully press back against him for a third time, a heavy intake of breath right near your ear. You slightly freeze when you think he may awake now, but a bundle of excitement runs through your nerves. 

When you push your ass backwards again, you feel him push himself forward—yup, most definitely awake. Jungkook’s hand that’s resting just below your belly button suddenly trails down the side of your thigh to rest just above your knee, his fingers facing inwards, gently rubbing at your exposed skin. 

“Jungkook,” you breathe out heavily, desire coating his name as you say it. You look back over your shoulder to find him with his eyes still closed, but he’s biting down on his lip harshly. 

“Mhm,” he mumbles, his hand now making its way back up to the inside of your thigh as you press your ass into him fully. Before he reaches where you feel yourself pooling for him, his eyes open giving you an intense stare. 

He’s asking for consent, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows heavily. Instinctively, you open your legs slightly before saying, “Touch me, please.” 

He hesitates before he sits up a little behind you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder gently. Finally, his hand meets your center, your nipples hardening as you let out a sigh. Two of his fingers rub in circles delicately over the fabric of your panties, blood already rushing down to your clit as he does so. 

You spread your legs a little more, your left hand supporting the back of your thigh as he continues to work against you. Your panties are a flimsy thong, barely covering your lips anyways but the moment he finally moves the fabric out of the way, a shutter leaves your lips. 

“Fuck,” he says, his fingers feeling at the wetness, “You’re soaked baby,” experimentally, he dips one finger in quickly and back out to run your slick over your swelling clit. 

“Mhmm,” you mumble, “Fuck I need you Jungkook,” you say honestly, your breath slightly unhinged. He moves himself a little, to get a better look over his shoulder. 

“Move the sheets baby,” he says with a groan from the back of his throat. You do as you're told, both of you now fully able to see when he sinks his fingers into your dripping cunt. 

“Oh—“ you breathe out heavily as he slowly begins to move in and out of you. 

He rubs your g-spot inside of you a few times before he begins to curl his fingers inside you. Jungkook continues to only grow harder as he fingers you—your hot slick inside making him too excited. A familiar yet naughty sound of your slick against his fingers begin to fill the room. It’s visceral and hot, leaving your body wanting more. 

With your free hand, you grab one of your breasts, stimulating your nipple through the material of his shirt. 

“Shit,” he says, “Let’s take this off,” he says and you quickly oblige as he pulls out his fingers to let your rid yourself of the fabric. Your tits bounce free and Jungkook swears he could come right then and there. 

His fingers descend back into your cunt, this time a faster pace as he rolls you on your back some. His mouth latches over your left nipple, a content exhale coming through his nose. A hand twists into his hair as your moans continue to get louder once he begins a steady pace against your clit with his thumb. Your breathing is picking up rapidly, your back arching off the mattress as he works his way to making you come. 

“Jungkook—fuck I’m gonna come,” you tell him through bated breath as his mouth works against your breast, your neck and earlobe, and finally meets your mouth hungrily. 

“Come on baby,” he says into your mouth and as if on cue, your orgasm is tipped off the cliff, your face contorting as it shudders through your body. 

“Ah, ah!” Your body twitches against his as he works you through your orgasm, telling you just how good you’re doing and how pretty you look. When you finally feel like your body has given everything it’s got, you lean up to crash your lips onto Jungkook’s, whose body is still behind of you as he leans over to kiss you. 

With your thighs now closed, you two have no space between each other, his cock straining against his sweatpants to be free. You reach behind you, pushing his pants down, unable to wait any longer. 

“Wait, wait,” he breathes heavily, his hand grabbing yours before you can fully push his sweatpants down, “Are you sure?” 

A strained whine leaves your lips as you nod quickly, “I need you so bad Jungkook,” you say which is all he needs to finish taking off his pants, underwear-less, his beautiful cock springing out against his tummy. He’s bigger and thicker than you could have imagined, veiny and a pink tip the color of his lips just waiting to be sucked into you. 

“I have condoms in the nightstand,” he says. You quickly reach over since it’s on your side, digging one out quickly. You tear the packet open with your teeth before you hand it over to him. With the little space you’re giving him, he’s rolling down the condom, a sharp intake of breath as he touches himself. 

You’re about to roll onto your back before he stops you, “Stay on your side baby,” he instructs as he presses himself against your back again. His left hand lifts up your leg, your cunt now fully exposed to the colder air, a shiver sent down your entire body. He rubs his tip against your slit, an explicative falling from his mouth when he finally begins to push inside you. 

He so big—the stretch slightly burning as he works into you. There definitely could have been more foreplay involved, but the desire for this man was too strong to wait anymore. You don’t even realize that you’re holding your breath until he’s pushed at the hilt, his pelvis against your backside fully. 

“It’s okay baby, I got you,” he manages to say as he relished in your slick warmth, “God I’ve dreamed out this so much,” he says as he pulls out slowly before even slower pushing back in. 

“Me too,” you breathe out truthfully as you hold his head close to your own; shit it burns, “Is it living up to your expectation?” 

He licks his lips with a slight chuckle, relishing in a heavy moan you’ve just let escape. 

“Turns out my imagination isn’t as good as I thought,” it’s the last thing he says before he picks up his pace inside you. 

He hooks his arm under your leg to open you up even further, looking down the front of your body to watch himself go in and out of your pussy. He fills you up to the point where it’s dizzying. You’re still sensitive from your orgasm earlier, your mouth slack as he pumps himself with a good stroke. 

“Fuck,” he groans heavily, “You’re so perfect baby,” his breath is hot over your neck, unable to form words yourself—whiney moans emitting from your lips. 

You crane your head to look back at him, your noses brushing together before you reach up to meet your lips together. It’s a messy kiss—wet and hot as you breathe into each other’s mouths, his tongue working against yours. With your free hand, you bring it to stimulate yourself from the outside against your clit, a shudder going through your breath. 

“That’s it baby, touch yourself for me,” he watches as you circle your clit, your pussy squeezing around him tightly. You already feel another orgasm approaching you, but Jungkook suddenly pulls completely out of you, leaving you breathless. 

“Jungkook?” You ask as he turns you flat on your back, his lips trailing down to your pussy, his tongue meeting your center. 

“Didn’t want to come yet,” he explains as he begins to eat you out as if its his last meal. His lip ring is cold against your sensitive skin. He open mouth licks, kisses, and sucks all on you and your clit. Your hips arches off the mattress, explicative falling out of your mouth. You taste sweet and Jungkook’s sure its the best he’s ever had. 

As Jungkook focuses on your clit, sucking in with harsh lips you tell him you’re going to come again. Your mouth falls open when you feel yourself reach the peak of your climax again, quickly falling as you moan shamelessly loud. You’re seeing white behind your eyelids as you grip onto the pillow at your head, biting on your lip to quiet yourself. It’s no use given it’s one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. He continues to let your ride out your orgasm and it’s becoming too much. The over stimulation bringing on a familiar uncomfortable sensation as you tell him to quit. He obliges but is then lining himself up with your entrance again, entering in you flush all at once. 

This time, Jungkook’s pace is fast and rough as one of his hands grip where your hip meets your torso, the other around your neck as he fights to not kiss you. As much as he loves your lips, he loves the noises coming out of them and wants you to be as loud as you can be. 

“Jungkook I can’t,” everything is sensitive, a pleasurable pain pulsing through you as he slams against you relentlessly. 

“Yes you can baby, come on,” he’s whining too as this point, “Fuck I’m gonna cum,” he says it like a warning, but you want nothing more for him to do just that. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” whispered chants leave your lips, Jungkook’s own moans mixing with yours loudly before he releases the pressure off your neck, lips crashing down on your own. Someway, somehow, you come a third time as his pelvic bone grinds into you, a muffled scream into his mouth as you do so. 

This is what sends Jungkook over the edge, his hips slamming into yours harshly as he comes into the condom, a strangled groan emitting from the back of his throat. 

“Fffuck Y/N,” he stills inside of you, both of your hearts racing and sweaty in the sheets. He collapses on top of you, your arms wrapping around him protectively as he places intimate kisses along your collarbone and chest. 

Your whole body is aflame and as he looks up to you, his eyes full of stars. You brush his fringe from his face slowly as the two of you kiss gently in the haze of the morning. You’re sure that Jeon Jungkook is a disguised angel fallen from heaven. 

⏤

“Sit still,” Jungkook laughs as he looks up from his sketch book briefly, a lazy smile playing at his lips. 

You laugh while biting your lip, “I am still!” You fight back as you rest your head in your hand, looking right at him longingly. He sets down his pencil for a moment, inhaling a small amount from the joint you two were currently sharing. You hadn’t smoked in a long time, but when Jungkook offered after having sex, you couldn’t refuse. 

Both of you are a little high not just on the flower, but each other too. You don’t know what time it is or how long both of you have been laying around at his apartment since you’ve been awake. On his bed, he’s sitting criss-crossed apple sauce across from you as you lay on your side as his model. He begged to sketch you for nearly 20 minutes before you finally agreed. 

You take another hit from the joint, “How’s it going?” You muse and he smirks slightly, chewing on his thumb nail as he continues to draw. 

“Do you ever shut up?” He says and you flip him off deservedly so. 

It’s only another 10 minutes until Jungkook proclaims he’s finished—at least for now. He says he’d add more details later when his brain was a little more clear. Though when he hands the sketch pad over to you, your eyes widen. 

“Oh wow,” you marvel, “More details?” You ask in disbelief. Though the sketch was tad a messy, not perfect, it still looked exactly like you. Almost frighteningly so. You were wearing his shirt again, your hair fallen and messy after the sexcapades earlier. Even the details of your hands are immaculate despite how minuscule they are in the drawing. 

“You like it?” He asks, his eyes a little wide, tone seeking validation. You give him a hazy-eyed smile, giving him a nod of approval. 

“I’ll sketch you one day, to return the favor,” you say with a peaked brow as you hand him back the sketch book. 

“A favor eh?” He bite his lip ring, “I had to beg you for this.” 

“Exactly—I always repay for charity work,” you laugh when he rolls his eyes, moving over to your frame. 

He lays on his side mirroring you as he props his head up on one of his hands. He inhales the joint once more with his tattooed hand, offering it to you once more. You shake your head, already feeling a good enough high to enjoy yourself and not go into full panic mode. 

“You have so many tattoos,” you comment as your eyes trail from his hand, up his forearm into his elbow, bicep, and finally, the top of his shoulder. 

“Mhm,” he mumbles, clearing the ashtray from his bed, setting it on the floor for now.

“Which one was your first?” You ask him; your curiosity cute to him. 

“Hmm,” he thinks about it as he brings out his arm a little to look over each one, “I think this one,” he says, referencing to the Chinese characters on the back of his elbow, “Or maybe the ones on my hand, I don’t really remember,” he laughs, his memory falling short in this moment. 

“Do they all mean something to you?” 

He nods immediately, his eyes finding yours again. You ask him which one is his favorite. 

“Probably this one,” he points to the orange tiger lily on the inside of his forearm, “It’s one of the ones I drew myself.” It’s detailed immaculately, with words blended in behind it, “It’s my birth flower,” he explains. You think he told you once his birthday was in September. Him being a Virgo makes sense to you. 

“What does it say behind it?” You ask as your free hand grabs his arm to bring closer to your eyes so you can see the details better. 

“Please love me,” he answers after a moment of watching you slowly turn his arm to marvel at all the ink. His words make you freeze though, your heart strings tugging towards him. 

You smile at him shyly, “Is Jeon Jungkook a romantic?” 

He smiles back at you fondly, “Only when I want to be.” 

“Mhm, sure,” you mumble, your hand finding his. His is much larger than yours, covering yours protectively. 

“You don’t have any tattoos?” He asks. He’s just seen you naked but his attention was exactly looking at certain places on your skin for ink. 

You shake your head, “I’ve always been too scared,” you tell him honestly with a laugh. 

He laughs clearly amused, “It’s not as bad as you think it is.” 

You roll your eyes, “Says the person with an arm covered in them. I’d trust someone who has like one or two… they’re more likely to be truthful about the pain.” 

“Well if you ever want one, I’ll go with you just so I can say I told you so,” he suddenly moves closer to your frame. He throws an arm over your waist, pulling you to him. 

“Never gonna happen,” there’s a lame attempt to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. It doesn’t stay, still too short. 

“I like you in my clothes,” he comments, brushing his nose against yours. He slowly closes the gap between you two. His lips are still so soft and each time he kisses you—it feels like the first. 

“It’s comfy,” you say once you break away from him, your nails scratching the back of his head gently. He relishes in it like a puppy, a relax smiled on his face. 

“You look better out of them though,” is his next comment which garners a giggle deep within you. One thing leads to the next and you’re having sex again. This time you’re on top of him, on your tummy, legs over his shoulders—and he makes you come each and every time. You’ve had many blissful moments in your life, but this has to be up with one of your most. 

⏤

Reality hits you when Jungkook drops you off at home that evening. Whatever bliss you experienced this morning and afternoon, it all feels like a dream that didn’t happen. You make sure to feed Sushi his wet food as soon you get home, as well as clean his litter box for him. Your phone is what makes you the most anxious. You’ve got missed texts and calls from a few people. Taehyung obviously, Sana, Seokjin, and even your father. 

[Taehyung Yesterday 11:13 PM] Please let me know when you get home. I love you. 

[Taehyung 12:09 PM] Did you get home okay?

[Taehyung 7:21 AM] Y/N please call me, you’re worrying me. 

[Taehyung 10:32 AM] Please text me when you see this. I haven’t slept all night. I love you so much. 

4 Missed Calls

Your throat constricts, feeling guilty that you didn’t even have the minds to look at your phone after Jungkook picked you up. You feel sick to your stomach as you continue through your messages. 

[Sana 8:23 AM] hey is everything okay?? taehyung texted me this morning and asked if I’ve heard from you

[Sana 8:26 AM] did you two get into a fight? are you home?

[Sana 1:15 PM] hello… are you alive????????

6 Missed Calls

You opt to deal with the others later, giving Sana a call back immediately. Also, just unsure of how to deal with Taehyung right now. She answers on the first ring. 

“What the actual FUCK have you been up to?!” She’s screaming and you have to hold the phone away from you as she continues, “You have me worried fucking sick! Why haven’t you answered me or Taehyung! Are you out of your fucking mind!?”

“Sana please, I’m fine,” you say after she’s cooled off some, “I need you to come over as soon as you can.” 

She hesitates, “Is everything okay?” She sounds worried, all malice gone in her tone. 

“I don’t know,” you whisper over the phone. Now that you’re going to have to face whatever mess has been created, your heart thumps and your chest is tight. She agrees, dropping whatever she’s doing hanging up just as fast. 

You decide to text Taehyung, knowing you’ve worked him up sick. 

[You 4:23 PM] I’m fine. Slept a lot last night and today, ringer was off. 

[You 4:24 PM] love you too 

You add the second text without hesitation, despite a bubbling substance of guilt in your tummy. You know your relationship with Taehyung can’t continue. Whatever hurt he’s caused you and what you’ve done with Jungkook—it’s all down the drain. And it’s this reality that makes you break down, sliding to the floor in choked sobs. 

Sana finds you this way, nearly hyperventilating as she hurries over to you. 

“Y/N!” She exclaims, “Oh my god, it’s okay, it’s okay,” she kneels beside you, her arms throwing themselves around you tightly. You lean into her touch, trying to make sentences but nothing comes out. Just incoherent jumble as you choke out tear after tear. 

Sana is literally the best of friends you could ever ask for. As you lay curled up on your couch, she’s fixed you a cup of hot tea and a bowl of ramen for you two with the works—pork belly, an egg, and green onions. 

As she serves up your food, she’s got the most worried look on her face and you can’t blame her. You probably look horrifying—horrifying with an after sex glow. 

“Babe,” she says after you begin to eat your food, “What’s going on? You’re scaring the shit out of me.” 

You slurp a noodle, “Sana,” you groan, “I think I fucked up, but also Taehyung fucked up, fucked up, and I think we broke up but th—“

“Whoa whoa,” she stops you, “Broke up? W-what do you mean?” She’s utterly stunned as you relay this information. 

So it’s when you tell her. Tell her everything your life has succumbed to in the last month. From meeting Jungkook—no inspiration—Taehyung putting work before you—the date with Jungkook—the fucking sex dream—to the real reason Taehyung asked to move in with you—the kiss with Jungkook, feelings for him—Jungkook’s dad being Taehyung’s main boss—everything up until after the party. 

“How long has he known about the move?” Sana is angry as you tell her all this information. 

“I don’t know,” you shrug, “We kind of blew up at each other last night and then I just left…” 

“Shit,” she mutters, “Well that’s really fucking shitty of him to do that to you Y/N. You’ve been together too long for him not to give you a heads up about that.” 

You nod as you set down your bowl of food on the coffee table, “I know and like I said I think we broke up but I’m not exactly sure and now—“ you cut yourself off, your stomach churning at the thought. She looks at your curiously as if she knows what you’re about to say will make her disappointed in you. 

“What did you do?” She says slowly to brace herself. 

“I wasn’t answering my phone last night because I wasn’t here.” 

You can’t even look at her as you continue. 

“I was with Jungkook.” 

Sana doesn’t say anything as she lets your words process, all the puzzle pieces coming together in her head slowly but surely. She doesn’t look angry or confused, but her face is emotionless which is honestly scarier to you. 

“You had sex with him, didn’t you?” She already knows, but she wants to hear you confirm it yourself. You nod slowly, adding in not just once—but three separate times. She runs a hand over her temple, her brain clearly working overtime. 

There’s a heavy moment of silence that falls between the two of you. You don’t regret hooking up with Jungkook at all—if anything, him and his company has been the light of your life the past few weeks. You just can’t help but feel whatever grey area that Taehyung created, you separated it into black and white without him. Was that fair to him? 

“So you had sex with Jungkook, kind of broken up with Taehyung after a fight, but not for sure… and you haven’t talked to Taehyung since last night?” 

“Yeah…” you sigh heavily, putting your head in your hands. 

“God Y/N,” she mumbles, her hand running up and down your back, “Well you for sure have to talk to Taehyung sooner than later… you have to tell him—“

“Sana—“

“Y/N you’ve dated and loved this man for five years—he deserves to know, even if you two truly were broken up,” she’s harsh with her words, but you know she’s right. “So what do you truly feel for Jungkook?”

“What do you mean?” You ask. Truthfully, you hadn’t put any thought into it since you’ve been home. 

“You clearly have developed feelings for him over the last few weeks, faster than even Taehyung,” she pauses, “Do you want something out of him? Or do you think he was just there to comfort you when you needed it?” 

You look up from your hands, looking at her in your peripheral, “Fuck Sana, I don’t know,” you feel tears threatening to spill over again, “I think being with Taehyung for so long, I never thought there would be another person I could actually develop feelings for, but he’s kind and gentle, he listens to me, makes me feel heard, and he’s so much like me but that also fucking terrifies me.”

“Why is that scary?” 

You lean back into your couch, meeting her gaze, “I always thought I wanted someone so different from me, different than my parents relationship—and I found that and I love him so much,” your voice is strained, “But I’m not sure if different is what I actually needed.” 

She puts a hand on your knee for comfort, “Can I be as honest as I can with you?” She’s a little unsure of your reaction, but as soon as you nod she gives you a reassuring squeeze, “I know that you love Taehyung and I know that it’s been hard with his job… I don’t think you should have slept with Jungkook so soon but…” she pauses, “I’m not going to try to make excuses for you but, I get it,” her words aren’t expected and your shoulders relax.

“I think someone like Jungkook was going to come into your life eventually, it just happened to be when you were with someone else… I think you’ve always been scared to be like your parents, but you’re not trapped in a box, you have free will and you’re allowed to do as you please. I don’t think you needed different either, I think you’ve always just wanted someone to give you the same amount of love you give them,” her words are so true that you feel your chest constricting again.

“I’m not going to sit here and say you crossed a boundary because I don’t know if you did, only you know that yourself… but Taehyung deserves the respect from you to let him know and you deserve someone who works in the relationship equally. I feel like this may have been unfair to Taehyung but he's also been unfair to you, for a long time now,” she adds in a breath, “I don’t think you and Taehyung can be together anymore, but I also don’t know if you should be with Jungkook right now either.” 

Sana’s words cut through you like a freshly sharpened knife. She’s your best friend for a reason. She’s supposed to support and love you, but she’s also supposed to hold you accountable. You don’t even say anything else as you crawl over to her, both of you embracing in a tight hug. 

“I love you,” you mumble to her, honestly coating every word. 

“I love you more,” she responds. And you know she does. 

⏤

It’s been almost two weeks since your shitshow of last weekend. You’ve barely interacted with anyone aside from Sana and an occasional text from your parents, asking about your final exhibition dates. You told Seokjin that you needed to work from home this week, citing a change in scenery would be stimulating. Obviously, he didn’t know it really was a ploy to keep you away from Jungkook. 

You hadn’t spoken to him since sleeping with him. He reached out to you once over text, though you ignored it, needing your head clear of your demons before you faced him. As time has passed, you still don’t regret hooking up with him. The only thing you feel is shame; afraid that your advances came off in bad taste, only using him as a distraction. Luckily as you’ve come to learn, Jungkook is extremely good at reading people and when you didn’t respond to him—he never texted again. You obviously wanted space and he was going to respect that. 

What you couldn’t keep running away from was Taehyung. It’s why you’re meeting him now at a park that’s not too far from your apartment. It’s middle of the day on a Thursday, which is surprising that Taehyung agreed to meet now when you reached out. You assumed that he would have been at work but it's when he shows up in casual jeans and a t-shirt, that he must not be. 

You’re sitting on a park bench, dressed casually in a sweatshirt and sweat-shorts anxiously waiting for him to show face. When he comes around to sit down, he startles you slightly, but his presence brings a comfortable warmth. 

“H-hi,” you say nervously, turning your frame to him. He didn’t look good—his eyes baggy and dry, lips a little chapped, and his hair a little messy. 

“Hey,” is what he chooses, his own tone sounded a little off. There’s an awkward space between you two on the bench. 

“How have you been?” You ask, your eyes kind of darting any and everywhere, unable to hold his gaze for too long. 

His lip trembles as he sighs heavily, “Not the best,” he says honestly. You nod slowly, agreeing with him. 

Somedays you’re fine. You go through your day and normal routine of spin classes and painting, cuddling Sushi, and going to bed early. Other days have been horrible—up late unable to sleep due to stress and crying, no productivity in sight. While you and Taehyung have texted over these last couple weeks checking in on each other, being in front of him right now feels like there’s a spotlight on you and you’re scared to fuck up. You haven’t been ready to talk until now, but now you’re here and going mute. 

“Listen Y/N—“

“Tae—“

You speak at the same time to which you both smile at each other. 

“You go first,” you offer, still feeling like you may chicken out of what you actually need to say to him. 

He nods once, biting on his lip nervously, “Y/N I’ve been thinking the last couple weeks and um,” he pauses taking in a deep breath, “I realize I fucked up so bad. I thought about what you said and you’re right, I should have never assumed that you would have been okay with moving and never talking about it with you first…” 

As his voice slightly weakens as he continues to talk, it only breaks your heart even more. You have to tell yourself not to cry. 

“I’ve been pretty shitty to you at times and I always thought if I could give you nice things, take you out to nice dinners.. that it would somehow make up for the time we’ve lost over the years, but now I see that’s not what you needed at all.” 

You now have tears streaming down your cheeks—god, if only he recognized this sooner, maybe this wouldn’t have fallen apart the way it did. 

“I just love you so much and I get it if you don’t want to be with me anymore,” you watch a tear fall from his cheek, “But I just want you to know that I never intended on hiding anything from you and I’m sorry that I did. It was never my intention to hurt you and put you in a hard position, I just—fuck,” he stops, tugging on the roots of his hair. “I’m fucking sorry for everything Y/N, I just can’t move on and make this move if you hate me for the rest of your life.” 

Your face falls and you chest feels like it’s cracked open. You quickly close the space between you two, placing a hand gently on his face so he would look you in the eyes. 

“Taehyung I could never, ever hate you,” you tell him truthfully, “I have loved you for so long and I don’t think I’ll stop anytime soon…” 

He nods in your hands, relishing in your gently grip. He doesn’t say anything else, so you take it as your time. 

“I did and still do feel hurt about you keeping this from me,” you pause, dropping your hands, “I know that this had to have been a hard decision but the fact you left me out of it isn’t okay and I’m glad you recognize that… and you’re right, I never cared about the jewelry and the dinners and the flowers and wine, all I ever wanted was just you and me, against the world,” he chokes out a deep sob at your words, breaking your heart all over again. 

“I just, I truly can’t leave behind what I’ve worked for and the goals I want to accomplish here,” you shake your head, “It’s just not fair to me, but that doesn’t mean I will ever hate you or stop loving you.” 

He nods slowly as he takes in all of your information, his breath shakes as he breathes out. 

“Taehyung,” you brace yourself, “There’s something else I need to tell you.” 

He looks at you with a panicked expression as he mutters a hm? 

“I lied to you too about something,” your cadence is slow as you look down, picking at a loose piece of skin on your thumb, “I didn’t go home when I left your place after our fight.”

His eyebrows deeply furrow and you can see his brain working in overtime. Taehyung’s a smart man and it doesn’t take him long to piece together what you’re saying. 

“You went to his place, didn’t you? Jungkook? Seokjin’s student?” His jaw slightly clenches as he says it. You nod to confirm, feeling uncomfortable with how he's framed his words. “Jesus fucking Christ Y/N,” he suddenly stands up from the bench, another stressed pull of his hair, “We get into one fight and you run off to fuck someone who is basically your student?” 

“What?” You fight back, “No—no,” you rush out, though your heart sinks given you’re lying at this very second while trying to tell the truth. “Taehyung no, he’s just a friend I swear.” 

He turns back to you, eyes narrowing at you, “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me nothing happened with your fucking friend then? Is that why you lied to his father about knowing who he was?” 

You stare at him with your lips slightly parted, your heart thumping deep within your chest, “We kissed,” you whisper, wincing at your words internally.

“Is that it?” He asks with a tone that’s a mix of anger and desperation. 

There’s a lump in your throat and you realize that you truly are a coward and can’t tell him with words, so you do what a coward would do and shake your head. An entire new wave of shame enters your body now that you’re sat in front of Taehyung. His face falls, the line officially crossed. There’s no going back in this relationship. His jaw is unsteady as he fights whatever emotions are brewing inside him. 

“I need to go,” he says looking around the empty park. He loves you, he really does—but right now he can’t look at you. Your fight may have unofficially ended things between you two, but the fact you ran to Jungkook for comfort is what breaks his heart. What did Jungkook have, that Taehyung didn’t?

“Taehyung,” you stand up trying to stop him from walking away, “Please can we—“

“No Y/N,” he says, springing away from your grip that you had on his shirt, “We can’t.” 

It’s the last thing he says as he walks away. It’s feels almost a little too poetic. Not only is he leaving this city, but he’s leaving you here in it. Alone and heartbroken. Almost like how it was going to end up the entire time. 

⏤

It’s another week until you make it back into the studio in person. You’ve camped away in your apartment with Sushi for long enough—Sana, Seokjin, and others worried about you and your absence. You’ve had a lot of time to reflect as you been alone. You’ve been able to gather your thoughts and understand your rights versus wrongs. 

You haven’t seen or spoken to Taehyung since the other week ago in the park. You’ve attempted to call him a couple times to see if any peace can be amended, but to no avail. It’s been a weird transition for you—going from having everything in your life in order to everything blowing up in front of you so fast. Of course you’re sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and more. Your emotions were all over the place the last couple weeks. You had yet to feel closure with Taehyung which was killing you on the inside. You just hoped that he would eventually come around before he moved. You had no idea when he was leaving—but you needed to see him one last time before he goes. 

You’ve also been reflecting on the common denominator of the blow up of your life in the last two months. Jeon Jungkook. 

Jungkook came into your life full speed unafraid to crash into the brick wall in front of him. You know that you let your feelings for him get out of control but you also knew that wasn’t exactly something you could control. Consistently, he was just always there when you seemingly needed company. He says the right things, understands you, hears and listens to you. You’ve never had a connection with someone like that so quickly. However, he’s disappeared from your life almost as fast as he came in it. He checked in on your one more time after the first time, only this time you ended up responding, telling him that you were okay and just working from home. You weren’t fine, but the latter was true. 

Which is why you’re shocked when you come in on Tuesday morning to find him sitting on the floor outside your studio. You look around and listen in carefully—Seokjin isn’t even here yet and you came in early on purpose. It’s been your routine to avoid people—mainly Jungkook himself. You come in around 7 AM and leave by 3 PM, sneaking out before anyone would notice you were here. 

“J-Jungkook?” You ask, unable to believe that he’s here at this time. 

He looks up from his phone looking a little startled. He stands quickly, brushing his hands off on his sweatpants. 

“What are you doing here so early?” You ask, keeping a distance between you two. You feel a little insecure in your paint-stained denim shorts and white t-shirt that you actually slept in last night. 

He opens his mouth quickly, “I just,” he pauses closing his eyes for a moment, “I just wanted to see to you. I missed you," he admits a little shyly.

Your hands go clammy, heart quickening, but you’re nodding, silently agreeing with him. He steps aside to let you unlock your studio space, the sun already bright shining in. He follows in behind you, closing the door for privacy. You set down your bag on the small couch, watching him intently as he looks around. If there’s been one positive about your absence, it’s been how much work you’ve got done. 

You’ve finished approximately seven paintings in three weeks, an eight almost finished, which means you’ll finish just in time for the final exhibition next weekend. As much as you love apprenticeship life, you were more than ready for something new. 

“What do you think?” You approach Jungkook from behind as he stares at the finished paintings along the wall you’ve been hanging up to dry completely. 

“They’re exquisite,” he says with his mouth slightly agape, “A little sad,” he adds.

He’s staring at Drowning for the Sake of Drowning and Forward—a black and white charcoal piece of a female figure, hunched over with her face away, clearly distressed about something. You named in Forward in hopes that you can soon move past the stage of hiding and crying away alone. You don’t even realize Jungkook’s looking at you as you stare at the piece a little too long. 

“I’ve been worried about you.” 

You look at him when he breaks the silence, his eyes indeed looking confused, anxious, a little sad. 

“I know,” you say weakly. He turns around to face you, opening his mouth to speak but you cut him off in a rush—“I’m so sorry Jungkook.” 

He looks taken aback, his brows furrowing in confusion, “F-for what?” 

You’re confused as to why he’s confused, “I..” You pause licking your lips since they’re dry from you picking at them nervously, “For one I’m sorry for not being responsive. I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess. I came to you when I needed comfort but I feel like it came across that I was taking advantage of you in those moments—I don’t want you think that I was just trying to sleep with to make me feel better—“

“Is that what you think?” He cuts you off, stepping towards you. 

You don’t move, your feet frozen in place, “Well.. yeah?” You pause, “I don’t know I just didn’t know how to talk to you after what happened and with Taehyung I just—“

“Hey, hey,” he steps forward again, his hands grabbing the side of your face. God, his presence and touch were so comforting, “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” his voice is low and steady, “I’ve been so worried that something happened to you and I wanted to help but I knew that you wanted space. And for fucksakes, don’t ever say sorry for something like that Y/N,” he breathes out heavily and you almost feel tears spring in the corner of your eyes. You grab onto his wrists to steady yourself. 

“Jungkook I just feel like my whole life has been a shitshow the past couple months and I don’t know how to fix it,” your voice falls off, unsteady and unconfident. 

He shakes his head slightly, “Y/N you don’t have to ‘fix’ anything,” he says, “Life isn’t linear, we all have shitty times and we all have good times,” he pauses, “What’s important is how you deal with those things… shutting yourself off isn’t a way to deal with it,” his words almost have a humorous tone and you can’t help but chuckle to yourself. He looks at you confused again before asking what?

“You just always know what to say. It's annoying.” 

He laughs to himself, his hands moving away from your face to pull you into a hug. You return it happily, forgetting how nice his body feels against yours. 

“Thank you,” you mumble to him. 

“Anything for you, Y/N.” 

⏤

Your heels clank against the hardwood, feeling like it sounds similar to bricks being thrown into a dumpster as you feel extra sensitive to noises today. You’ve just entered the art exhibition that resides in a large gallery building downtown closer to the city. All the art has been transported over the last few days from all different departments. From Seokjin’s, to Park Kihyun’s, sculptors to oil-based paintings, to everything in between. 

You had yet to find where they displayed your artwork, going through the gallery slowly by yourself taking in everyone’s work one at a time. Again, your steps are heavy, anxiety rushing through your veins. This was always one of the worst parts of being an artists—displaying your pieces for everyone to critique and pick apart. Unlike the student’s art that was being displayed, you weren’t getting a grade but you still felt tremendous pressure for people to like your work. Art was all about getting people to like what you put out, which was much easier said than done. 

You run into your usual lunch crew; Lisa, Jisoo, and Yugyeom—sans Jungkook. You wondered where he was. 

“Y/N,” Lisa gives you a quick hug, “When did you get here?” 

“Like, ten minutes ago,” you tell her. 

“Have you seen your pieces?” She says quickly, almost too quickly. 

“No, why?” You respond in panic, “Did something happen to them?” 

Jisoo then laughs, “Nothing happened… they’re amazing. There was some man who was asking around for you, seemed to be important.” 

Your shoulders relax at the word of nothing bad happening to your pieces, but more anxiety creeping into your skin about the latter information. You let them know you’ll go check everything out soon, still wishing to look around before you found your own. You had looked at them enough the last few weeks—you needed a change of scenery. 

You walk into a smaller room where a particular name catches your eye. Jungkook’s artwork is in display with Yugyeom's. You wonder if they asked for that on purpose, a smile growing on your face as you stare at his work. 

Jungkook’s art works similar to yours—clean lines, realistic, the only difference is he utilizes a lot more color than you ever would. It matches him well though—he’s vibrant and commands attention in any room he walks into. One piece in particular catches your eye—Grapejuice Blues. 

It’s white sheets—similar to the ones on his bed—and a large, dark rouge staining them as a wine glass lays in the background. It’s almost painfully simple but it could easily be mistaken for a photograph. The familiar stir in your tummy occurs and you have to fight a smile. 

When you leave the alcove where Jungkook’s works reside, you decide to make it your mission to find your work. It doesn’t take you much longer, though you stop dead in your tracks when you do. Is this who Jisoo was talking about? 

You’d recognize his frame and head of hair through a crowd of hundreds. But there isn’t a crowd of hundreds and it’s definitely him—his tailored pants and dress shirt gives it away. He’s also holding what looks like a bundle of flowers. Your heart swells as you approach him. 

“Taehyung?” You ask. He turns around immediately, his warm eyes meeting yours, “What are you doing here?” 

He smiles slightly, looking down awkwardly at the flowers in his arms. He hands them over to you, “It’s been in my Google calendar for months, I didn’t want to miss it.” 

You heart thumps, but you’re a little confused, “Aren’t you mad at me?” 

He laughs, pulling you into a hug. You gladly return it, not caring if the flowers between you are squished a little. 

“Thank you for coming,” you tell him genuinely. It feels good to see him. 

“Of course,” his voice is deep as you pull away from him, “I was hoping I could run into you so I could give you this,” out of his pant pocket, he pulls out a folded up piece of paper. Your brows furrow as he holds it out for you to grab. 

“What’s this?” You ask him, taking it hesitantly. You start to unfold it before he stops you. 

“Don’t read it here—that’s my only request,” he laughs, his boxy smile peaking through a little bit. “Listen I have to run into the office this evening so I gotta go, but I’m glad I could see your work. It’s beautiful.” 

“Wait Taehyung,” you speak quickly, “I’m confused—when are you moving? We should talk…” 

He gives you a straight smile and you can tell he’s holding himself together for public. You are too. 

“Everything’s in there. We can talk soon,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss your cheek delicately, “I’ll love you forever.” 

He gets lost in the crowd as he walks away from you and whatever type of note he’s written you feels a thousand pounds in your hand. Your feet are about to pick you up to leave, giving it feels like you're heart was a glass castle and it was completely shattered. You suddenly felt all too claustrophobic surrounded by the art and people. 

You turn on your heel but this time you nearly run smack dab into someone. It’s a man who is dressed nicely but also has a touch of that specific art touch to him. 

“Are you Miss Y/N?” He says as you take a step back from him. You’re staring up at this random man, unable to find your voice. 

“Uh,” you pause, “Y-yeah, w-who are you?” Your throat is dry. You need to get out of here. 

“I’m Min Yoongi,” he speaks confidently, “I’m an art curator at a contemporary gallery in Gangnam, I was hoping to get your information to set up an interview. I was recommended to take a look at your work, but obviously I needed to see before I jumped to any type of deal. But I think your pieces are superb and I think I have some clients who would be interested in your work.” 

Your eyes widen, your breath taken away from you. And there it is again—life not being fucking linear. Two seconds again you felt on the verge of a panic attack, paper heavy in your hand and now you’ve forgotten about any of that as you speak to this Min Yoongi. 

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook was observing the interaction from a distance, out of sight from either one of you. You look angelic in the white dress on your frame; it’s short, fitted in all the right places with an off the shoulder bodice. While Jungkook necessarily didn’t fit into the mold of his family, he was lucky to be apart of the Jeon family name. His father had connections everywhere. Jungkook wanted to help you as much as he could since he knew that if any apprentice here deserved an art career, it was you. 

Jungkook is currently staring at the final piece you had finished last week, a small smile growing on his face as he takes it in. It’s an odd, more abstract piece from you. The use of color was what really struck Jungkook as different for you. It’s a human heart shaped out of orange tiger lilies. Given his dress shirt was rolled up on his forearms, he looks down at his own tiger lily tattoo and he swears his heart leaps from his chest. He couldn’t put a label on what the relationship with you was, but he knew that you were special to him. 

When he glances back to where you stood with Min Yoongi, you’re gone. His eyebrows furrow, taking once last glance at your pieces before his feet carry him to find you. 

You’ve found solace outside, the warm air comforting on your exposed arms and legs. The flowers he gave you are beside you on the ledge you jumped up on to sit. Your hands shake as you read through Taehyung’s letter; fighting tears, smiling, and laughing through it all. 

It takes Jungkook about 10 minutes to find you and when he does, he can tell you’re upset. He hesitates going up to you, but you look like you needed a hug. You don’t even notice Jungkook approach you as you’re sat with your head in your hands, the letter read and laying on the other side of you. You’re not crying—thank god—but you’re feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions running through your veins right now. 

You're excited about the prospect of working for a gallery, wondering who exactly recommended Min Yoongi to come to the exhibit and look at your pieces. You're sad at the fact yours and Taehyung's relationship has come to its finality. It's weird having such contrasting emotions going through you, each one fighting for your attention.

When you see a pair of black dress shoes appear in your vision, you slowly look up to find Jungkook looking at you longingly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. He takes your breath away in his black dress shirt and checkered cigarette pants. 

“Hey,” he says simply. You don’t even think as you pull him by his arm into a bear hug as he settles between your legs. He laughs as you do so, hugging you back tightly, resting his head on your exposed shoulder, “You okay?” 

You shake your head, “Yes,” you say but then, “No—yes, I don’t know,” you groan into him, inhaling his scent. Your hands meet behind him around his waist as you squeeze him tightly. 

Taehyung’s not mad at you. 

Taehyung loves you. And he always will. 

He says he hasn’t reached a place of full forgiveness yet. 

But he knows that you have a right to be mad at him. 

He’s moving at the end of summer. 

He wants you to reach out with anything you need. 

He acknowledges that you two have grown into differences over the last five years. 

But he will always love you and he’s grateful for you. 

You know you’ll always love him too. 

You pull away from Jungkook slightly, thankful for his presence right now. He’s the best drug you've ever tried—warm and comforting—addicting and easy to get lost into. 

“Your work is beautiful Jungkook,” you tell him honestly, trying to get your mind off of the things bothering you. Today was a happy day. 

“Not as beautiful as you,” he responds slyly with a nose scrunch and you pinch his butt, “Quit it,” he laughs, pulling you off the ledge you’re sat on. 

“What are you doing?” You whine as he pulls you to him, his hands resting on your waist. 

“We're gonna dance,” he says simply as he pulls you flush against him. 

“Why?” You laugh as he begins to sway, your hands finding their way around his neck. 

“To make you feel better.”

“How do you know I don’t feel good?” You fight back. 

“Because I know you,” he pauses, “And I know what you look like when you’re happy and when you’re sad.” 

You feel your face get hot, a small smile growing on your face, “Well then what else do you know about me?” 

“Hmm,” he muses, “I know what you sound like when you like something,” he raises an eyebrow at you as you two continue to sway with no music or anything. You roll your eyes, a laugh emitting from you. “There it is,” he pinches your side as you swat away his hand with another laugh. He loves your laugh. 

“Stop it,” you tell him, stepping away from him some, your hands interlaced with his in between your bodies. 

“Feel better?” 

You shrug, “A little,” you say, studying his face. His expression doesn’t seem satisfied so you say as he scrunches his nose, “Yes, I do. God you’re so impossible.” 

He chuckles back at you, kissing your knuckles sweetly, “What are friends for?” 

“You’re really running this ‘friend’ thing into the ground aren’t you?” 

He freezes for a moment, chewing on his lip ring, “Only until you’re ready.” 

You mirror him as he readjusts your hands in his, “Ready for what?” 

He studies your face intently, a small smile growing across his features, "You know."

You think you know exactly what he means. You tell him you do and he smiles in content, placing a kiss on your forehead through his smile. If there's one thing you're for sure about, it's that Jeon Jungkook is indeed, very special to you too. 

---

Tough chapter update!

I will be uploading the first chapter of Tough at 5:30 AM JST (Japan Standard Time) !!! Please look forward to it! 

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A Jeon Jungkook fanfic, by jeonggukkiss. Tough | mom!reader x ceo!dad!jk with a little bit of reader x yoongi | smut, angst, fluff, slow burn, slice of life ! au series Warnings for this chapter: extremely unedited, semi graphic depictions of child birth, cringeworthy dialogue (forgive my very limited vocabulary), heavy angst in the form of reminiscing past memories, disgusting fluff, more to be added

Main Masterlist

Chapter 1

|| Next...

2016

"Are you sure, Y/N? C-Section is the best option given our circumstances! Look at yourself struggle!" The doctor advices frantically. Never had she seen a mother want to push, most mothers in these cases opted to just have the C-Section.

You powered through, closing your eyes and taking deep breathes. You counted to 10, and opened your eyes.

The pain made you decide.

It's going to be worth it.

"Doc, I'll push." The doctor, nurses, and midwife that were around you take an audibly sharp intake of breathe before looking at each other. She nods and got seated between your legs.

You shouted a gargle cry as the pain jumped up much higher than earlier, this time it was much longer.

"You can push anytime now, Y/N, your baby's ready to meet you." She smiles reassuringly at you, but you can tell the pity in that smile.

You went through the nine months alone. You went through the everyday struggle of the growing baby bump alone. Didn't even have a baby shower, well if your sister and you celebrating through shopping baby clothes using her boyfriend's credited was considered one. You packed the baby bag alone. You came to the hospital alone. Went into the delivery room alone.

A standby nurse acted as the man in the room as she held your hand and tried to reassure you that you're going to be fine. You went into labor for 22 hours, alone, with having only the nurses to check in, comfort, and entertain you.

You were alone, but you were alright.

The doctor told you to push. You started to push, screaming out, the pain becoming blinding white as you squeezed the nurse's hand, you heard her wincing before trying to help you push with her comforting words.

"You can do it, Ms. Cha." She rubs your head softly. She was old, old enough to be your mother. You look into her eyes and from that brief moment, saw the genuine support in them. You cry as you continued pushing.

You couldn't even feel the baby come out, the pain becoming nothing and everything all at once. You didn't notice that the baby's entire torso was almost out. Your tears blurred everything that was in your vision.

The baby won't have her grandparents to greet her.

"Almost there, Y/N! A little more!"

You screamed out and gave the strongest push you could as the pain started to lessen to a numbness.

"Time of birth, 6:32 in the early morning of September 1st, 2016."

A baby's loud cry came crashing through your eardrums as you slumped back onto the bed, exhausted and sweating. You tried to sit up straight but the nurse beside you pushed your shoulder back with a reassuring smile.

"They just have to clean her up. Stay still so we can check you for tears that need stitching. It's going to be okay." You're vision was a bit blurry, you feel lightheaded.

Instead of a nurse, you suddenly see your mom. And instead of disappointment, you see her look at you with a smile.

"E-eomma, are you here to see your granddaughter?" You say, suddenly you felt confused.

Your mother hated you. How could she have come to the hospital?

You blinked quickly before your gaze comes back to the nurse, her face contorted into shock and pity, she had the back of her hand to her mouth as she tries to stifle her breath, a few tears running down her eyes.

"Oh dear, you are so tough. The toughest out here." She sniffles and pushes the hair that had fallen onto your forehead. She smiles before leaning to whisper something into your ear.

"You're going to be a great mother." She smiles and pulls back before turning to the side. Another nurse places your daughter onto your chest, skin on skin.

She whimpers and moves around your chest, as if trying to memorize how it feels to be out and onto her mother's chest. As if she was waiting for this moment.

You finally came to your sense and rush your hands up to delicately touch her back. You sniffle as you watch her little body move upon you. You looked up and saw the nurses looking at the both of you in awe.

Your doctor came through and sat onto the end of the hospital bed.

"What's her name?" She asks in a sweet voice. She can't believe you've just gone all through that, alone with no companion with you. She had already known you're a tough woman, as she stares the way your hands softly hold your daughter's body onto you, she has come to a realization.

You are not only a tough woman, but you are now a tough mother.

"Nari, Cha Nari." You mutter softly as the little one starts to lay still onto you, sleeping with comfort onto her mother's skin.

Your eyes also start to flutter close as the doctor stayed by your bedside, acting as your guardian throughout your hospital stay. She knew how much you needed a companion. She even brought a camera to capture every moment you had with your daughter.

She had been your makeshift mother for the past 9 months. Always scolding you for eating little, scolding you for going to work when you were almost bulging with the bump.

All the worries a mother had for her pregnant daughter, she had for you. She had grown so fond of you.

"Nari, a lily flower? Oh, Y/N, you are so full of mysteries." She mutters in a smile as she captures this quiet beautiful moment with the camera. She intended on giving it to you, all of your pictures throughout your pregnancy were taken with it.

Every hospital visit, every change in the bump, every ootd, you had your doctor take the picture with her camera.

You wake a bit before relaxing while you stare your doctor as she takes Nari out of your arms and into a crib next to your bed, shushing her and patting her back as she was disturbed from her slumber.

The doctor then sat onto a chair next to your bed, placing her hand onto your cheek.

"Thank you, Doc, for being here with me." You say in a soft tired voice.

"Your mother will regret not being with you today, Y/N. You remind me so much of my daughter." She chuckles and giggle as you remember you met her daughter and granddaughter on your hospital visit.

"Yah! Doc, she's way prettier than me, she got it after you!" You giggle with each other as you both talk about everything on parenthood.

You weren't feeling tired, sure you felt so sore but it was worth it.

The pain was so worth it.

"You have to stay away from lifting heavy items, okay? Wait. Did you even weigh the baby bag you brought? Aish, Y/N, how can you carry this, it's almost as heavy as me!" Your doctor rambles on as she lifts the baby bag you brought with you.

You chuckle as you leaned into the bed, staring at your doctor as she rummages through the things you brought with you.

"Did you contact the father?" You stilled as she mentions him.

Nari's dad. Your ex.

Him.

"No, and I don't plan to." You seethe with despise and burn with anger. You cross your arms and huff, face blank of expression as you both stare at each other.

You didn't need him. You had Nari. You had yourself.

Your doctor sighs and turns to face you, hands on her hips.

"You have to, Y/N. It wouldn't be fair to him not to see her. You've kept this a secret for way too long. I know that your parents didn't react well, but trust me, they'll come around.  So I will say this today, and maybe everyday. Tell him, reach out to him, at least make him pay child support!" She says exasperatedly. You roll your eyes and pressed a button on your bed that lifts your torso.

You turn to look at the sleeping child next to you, oblivious to the world. You smiled softly and reach out to brush her small face delicately.

You pull your hand back and looked up to see your doctor looking at you.

"I don't even think he deserves to see her. He doesn't deserve to touch her or even be a feet near her. He left. He didn't want me. He didn't want anything to do with me. He left before I even told him I was pregnant. And to be honest, it's his fault that he never gets to see her. He didn't give her — me, us, a chance, whatever god is up there knew how much we needed him. He left, that's it." You burst. Tears running down your face as you gently sob into your hands.  You felt her hands rub your shoulders as they rock with each sob.

"H-he didn't even told me why. He just said he didn't get it. He said he didn't want to see me again. He said — he said—" Your own hiccups cut yourself off as you try to refrain from sobbing loudly, avoiding waking up the sleeping angel beside your bed.

Your heart ached thinking of him. The way he laughed, the way he smiled. How he held every part of you. Every single day you were with him, he reminded you how beautiful you were. That he was somehow blessed to even be with you.

He was everything you wanted and needed in human form.

After he disappeared you were a mess, a shattered version of the woman you once were. He was your rock, your anchor, your shoulder to lean on, the only thing that felt right in this world full of wrongs. But he didn't left you with nothing. No.

He also made you strong the next nine months after his departure. He made you realize who you really are. You stood on your own two feet, no rock to hold on to, no anchor to keep you at bay, no shoulder to lean on anymore.

You were Cha Y/N with or without him. Maybe sometimes you tend to look back on the path behind you in moments where you miss him, but you never even once do more than just look back.

Look back but never go back.

"Shhh, it's okay, I'm sorry for mentioning it, it's okay." Your doctor comforts you, feeling a bit bad for mentioning something you were keen on keeping secret.

"It's okay, I just... I hate him so much." You mumble as you wipe at your eyes. You pull back from her hug and stare at your beautiful daughter once more. You let out a shaky sigh.

"She looks just like her dad." You whisper as you admire her features.

Milky pale skin, you note that she got that from Jeongguk. But what shocks you is that most of her facial structures, well, her whole face screamed him, I think it's appropriate to say that she's her dad's twin.

The resemblance was so uncanny.

"Aigoo, stop, I can also see a bit of you in there." Doctor Kang assures you as she also stares at the baby sleeping peacefully in her crib. You spare a glance at the clock on the wall, 10:00 in the morning.

"Don't you want to rest for a bit?" She asks you. You stubbornly shook your head, you have to stay awake, what if Nari needs to feed? Or just wants her mommy? You were ready than ever to pamper your baby.

She chuckles at you. She turns on the television and you ask for your phone, which was inside the bag.

"Multimillion business empire CEO, Mr. Jeon, has now passed down the crown to his only son, Jeon Jeongguk. Today we will have a chance to interview 'The Heir' of the multimillion worth company." Said the news anchor.

The world stilled around you, with wide eyes you flash your eyes towards the screen and saw his face.

He changed so much.

"Mr. Jeon, how does it feel to practically be a king under Korea's biggest business and stocks industry? You're even only turning 20!"

The way he smiles. You noticed that it was dead, there was no life in his eyes unlike how he smiled in the past. His work was indeed stressful.

"It's very overwhelming, to say the least. But my father raised me for this..." You tune out the voice as your mind wanders farther down into memory lane.

Ah, Mr. Jeon. He was the nicest man you've ever met, well second to Jeongguk, always wanted you to be at dinner and teased you and Jeongguk over anything and nothing. His mom was the sweetest, treated you as if you were her own. His group of friends considered you as their friend as well.

"How about your love life? Women of all ages wonder! Are you still a potential bachelor?"

The way he shook his head, his hair flailing around with him. He's still a charmer.

"Not at the moment, I'm a bit busy continuing an empire." He winked at the camera before it panned to the weather report.

You let out the breath you were holding in before looking down.

This was the first time you had seen him since 10 months ago. However, you didn't expect to see him on television, all famous with so many cameras in front of him. Sure you knew their family was wealthy, but you never knew that they were wealthy enough to be addressed in terms of 'The Heir', a King and such.

You probably really didn't know anything about him, at all.

"Isn't that Jeongguk guy a charmer!" Doctor Kang gushed as she hands you your phone. You ignored her statement as you watch her listen to the news.

You opened your phone and sure enough, your wallpaper greeted you. It was of you and your 8th month baby bump. You smile before opening it, dialing a number you haven't dialed ever since then.

"Hello?" Rang through your ears was the deep voice you hadn't heard in what seemed like forever. You smiled lightly, memories suddenly flooding in your head.

"Oppa, it's me." You say in a smile. The other line went silent as you tried to stifle your giggles in.

"Y-Y/N? Y/N, is it really you?" You heard a rustling of things, a clang, a crash which made you snort a laugh, and deep breathes.

"Shhh, you're gonna wake up baby." You shushed him, being on speaker phone, you check at the still sleeping baby.

"Baby? Yah! Y/N! What are you saying?! Where even did you banished to?! You scared all of us, we literally thought you got wiped off the face of the earth! Where are you?! I'm coming to you." You heard a rustling of clothes, you assumed he was putting on that black coat you hated so much.

You sighed.

"Please don't bring anyone with you, and bring me a salad with no mayo, and the orange juice from that cafe we all used to go, and lots of fresh fruit, you choose, also, no one can know you came to see me." You say into the phone, Doctor Kang sent a thumbs up at you upon hearing the mentions of your food of choice, indicating that it was okay for you to eat.

"Okay, okay. Hyung! I'm going out! Yeah! Okay! Okay, where are you at?" You heard a jingle of keys as you imagined him getting into his car. He was a bad driver when he's trying to rush, and you knew he's rushing right now.

"I'm in Seoul." You answer timidly, nervous to say where you actually are, knowing how he would react.

"Y/N, don't be stupid, we all moved to Seoul a little after you went missing, and mind you, Seoul's a bit big to travel around by one person." He says and chuckles at your answer. You heard the car door shut before you find yourself staring again at your sleeping daughter. Doctor Kang was still watching the news.

She's so beautiful, your pretty girl.

"I'm in Seoul General Hospital, it was the nearest to my apartment, and I'm in the NICU."

"What?! Why are you in the NICU?! Y/N, what happened to you?! Are you hurt?!" He quickly reacts rather loudly, you had to raise your arm above your head, and even from there you can still hear him scream.

"Oppa, shut up." You hissed as you noticed slight movement from Nari, scared that she might wake up.

"Okay, sorry. But what did happen to you?" He asks frantically as you heard the turn signal turn on. You sighed.

"Just say my name at the front desk Cha Y/N, NICU, okay? Please drive safely, don't rush, you're a bad driver."

"Okay, I'm picking up your food, got it all pre ordered and then I'm going straight over there. I'll be quick and you better have an explanation for me. I love you." He says in the phone call.

You heard other sounds a car makes, not knowing what's he doing inside the car for it to make so much bangs and rustling, you just guessed he was really rushing.

"I love you too, see you." You ended the call and sighed, leaning forward, you reached to pick your sleeping angel to cradle her into your arms. Your motherly instincts kicking instantly as she snuggles into your arms.

"I- Y/N, was that, him?" Doctor Kang slowly approaches you as the news had come to an end, a new drama now on the television.

"No, it was someone important to me. Someone I can trust." She nods, not trying to pry anymore. Although you respected her, she still can't know who the father is, considering how much she gushed over him, there was a very slim chance she can take his side.

You slowly hushed the whimpering baby, tiny hands feeling you as if you were going to disappear.

"I have to go out for a bit, I'll be back late afternoon, okay? You take your time with your visitor. If you need anything, press that button." She quickly walked over to you and leaned over, kissed your forehead before going out the door, closing it gently.

You leaned back onto the propped bed, finally getting some alone time. The peace was quiet, the television was set in a low volume, still audible but not enough to wake Nari up. Your eyes skim across the room, catching Doctor Kang's camera bag now beside your baby bag, you knew she was going to give it to you but you never thought she was thinking about giving it to you now.

You smiled in gratitude before setting your eyes once again onto the small human cradled into your arms.

You smile as you release one hand and tucked the blanket under her chin, getting a good view of her angelic face up close.

Her skin was still a bit reddish, that was natural but you were now starting to see how pale she can be when she gets older.

Jeongguk's genes.

You roll your eyes with a smile before observing her again.

Her nose was so pointed, you had to thank Jeongguk for giving your daughter the perfect nose. Actually, you had to thank Jeongguk for the entire facial structure your daughter had, even though you hated him with your entire being, at least he contributed in making your daughter look like a literal angel on Earth. Her already full brows, her eye shape screamed Jeongguk, you only hoped she had taken after the color of your eyes. Her lips looked like a mixture of yours and Jeongguk's, you couldn't tell yet.

You slowly leaned down and kissed her forehead, pulling back you noticed she had a beauty mark under her bottom lip, another one of Jeongguk's. You sighed before leaning down to kiss her forehead again.

Everything about her reminded you of Jeongguk. It makes your heart ache thinking about him. How he was doing. Was he even eating well? You still worry about him as if you were still together. All of the moments you two had.

And that one intimate moment that had resulted in putting you in this position now. The moment that had helped create Nari. Whether you liked it or not, that moment was something you're grateful for. Not only did you experience so much, but it gifted you the best one you've ever received in your life.

Motherhood. It scares you. It thrills you. It hurts you.

It toughens you.

"Nari, my love, eomma promises you that I'll be your dad as well. Eomma will protect you and love you so much. Please never leave eomma, she needs you just as much as you need her." You rest your forehead against her while you whisper these promises, your heart feeling full, it might burst.

She gurgles in her sleep, as if promising as well. You giggle at her cuteness before humming a tune Jeongguk had often sang to you.

You know it all

You're my best friend

The morning will come again

No darkness, no season is eternal

"No darkness, no season is eternal, my Nari." You whisper as her hands moved to hold your cheek as you gently rested your forehead against hers.

The door suddenly opened making you look up to see the man of the hour thanking the nurse for bringing him to your room. You smile softly as he finally looks at you while the door gently closes.

His eyes widen, his mouth drops, his stance goes still; all in shock. Your smile widens as he slowly walks and reaches you, bags of plastic now placed onto the table near the door.

"Y-Y/N?" He stutters, still in shock as he takes in the scene before him. You in a hospital bed, and a baby wrapped in your arms.

"Hi, Yoongi oppa." You whisper to him, your smile softening as he reaches to your side, slowly sitting down the chair and leaning onto the bed, shock still evident onto his face.

"H-how? Why? When?"

You shrugged before giggling softly, not wanting to get into full detail. He furrows his brows at the lack of answers before shaking his head, now a soft smile onto his face.

He knew you were still the stubborn girl he loves.

"Are you hungry? I got what you wanted." He suddenly stood up, making a way to the food on the table before lifting the plastic bags then returning to you.

He placed the bags onto the floor in front of him before pulling out your salad, a fruit bowl, and a giant iced pomegranate juice you wanted.

Your mouth practically watered at the sight.

He set it all out in front of you, before sitting back onto his chair. You both looked at each other before he leaned in and softly put his hand on the back of your head, pulling you until his lips found yours.

He kissed you softly, you closed your eyes and just let him kissed you how he wanted, knowing how much he missed you.

Before you left 10 months ago, Yoongi confessed his feelings for you. You told him you can't return them because you loved Jeongguk. It was at that time where everything was turning dark, Jeongguk and you were constantly fighting, the group had never seen you two at peace.

Yoongi said it was okay, as long as you'd let him love you. You agreed, he was your best friend. You couldn't push him away, but you did grew distant in respect of your relationship with Jeongguk. For you, as long as he knew how you only saw him as a friend, knew his limits, then both of you were okay, there wasn't a problem.

For all these months, he was the most to spend time trying to find a way to find you, to contact you.

He loved you then, and he still loves you now.

His lips moved against yours softly, as if he was memorising how yours felt on his. He pushed a little bit harder before finally pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as the both of you took in deep breaths.

"She's Jeongguk's, isn't she?" He whispers at you, his eyes still closed as he tried to control his own breathing. You nod, his head following lightly with the movement of yours.

You pull back slightly, putting Nari onto her crib on the other side of the hospital bed before sitting back onto it, careful not to move too much.

He stills for a moment, before he dove back in and kissed you with much more passion, pushing your face further into his with his hand now that Nari wasn't in the way.

Restricting himself from going over his limit, he was mad. He was angry. He was burning with jealousy, too.

He steered the kiss, the pressure of his lips, the way h moved, he was telling you how much he missed you, how desperate he was to touch you.

You let him, slowly crashing down were the walls you had put up for the past 10 months as you silently cry into the kiss, tears running down your cheeks, missing him as much as he does.

You didn't know who to call, without him, he was the only one you trust and even after all this time, he never once questioned you. Never once turned his back on you.

He was someone you deserved, everyone knew that. Even Jeongguk knew that.

But you didn't know that. And that was okay for him.

You whimper into his mouth, your tears touching his cheeks as he cradles yours with his other hand while the one holding your head moved down to hold your nape gently. He bit your bottom lip as he pulled away.

"Y/N, I may not be able to control myself if we continue." He says in ragged breaths. You nod and try to regain back your own as the two of you stare each other. Your hands fisting his shirt under his coat and his onto your nape and cheek, foreheads resting against each other.

"You're still beautiful, so so beautiful after all these months, do you know that?" His two hands have now moved down to hold your hands in his, thumbs going over your knuckles as he raises them to kiss your skin.

You giggle as you landed a soft kiss onto his lips once more.

"And you're still wearing that ugly coat I told you to throw away." You snort as you pulled away and sit up straight, giving him an up and down with your eyes before rolling them.

He chuckles at your statement before reaching and pulling off the plastic lids of the containers in front of you. You shut up quickly, now eyeing the food that were all placed in front of you. You slap his hands away when he picks up a slice of mango and put it into his mouth.

"Oppa, that's mine." You groan while holding the chopsticks over your lap.

He laughs and leans in, jokingly biting the mango block and showing it you. You turn your head to him before leaning in, successfully taking the mango from his mouth with yours and pulled back, slowly chewing as you look at him smugly. He looks at you in shock before laughing.

"Wow, you've gotten bold, Y/N, I wanna see more of that." He winks suggestively at you before picking up a salad for himself.

You laugh then start to feast onto the food, realizing how hungry you were and this was practically brunch for you.

"What's her name?" Yoongi asks you with a mouth full of garlic bread, eyes onto the sleeping baby next to the bed.

"Nari." You try to say with a mouth full of lettuce. You chew as he smiles at you.

"You remembered." He says with a wide smile, gums showing and all. You nodded at him before picking up the fruit bowl.

Not really, but... You didn't want to tell him the other meaning of your daughter's name.

"Of course, dummy, who even gives a woman a lily flower on her period?" You sigh exasperatedly as he laughs, covering his mouth at the fond memory.

"I thought you meant the actual flower! How am I supposed to know you wanted lily tea!" You laugh with him and continued eating.

You finished the salad and now just sipping on your drink, feeling the freshly-squeezed orange juice soothe your aching throat, courtesy of screaming from the pain of pushing earlier.

A comfortable silence lands both of you, he reaches out to hold your hand in his, he can never get enough with touching you — he needed to touch you, it was what kept him sane.

"What do you plan on doing? Are you going to tell him?" He raises a brow at you, voice soft, careful. You sigh before leaning back onto your raised bed. Looking at him, you opened your mouth and said,

"I don't know, Oppa, I don't want him to know, not because I'm being petty, even though I deserve to be, but because he just simply doesn't deserve to know. He got me knocked up then he disappeared without even knowing I was pregnant. I tried to reach out to him before leaving Busan permanently, you know that. But he never listened, told me to stop trying to find him. He doesn't deserve to meet her." You say in a calm, serious voice. Yoongi was expecting you to lash out, to even cry of angry tears.

But seeing you like this, calm and composed with the whole situation, he realised that you had changed so much, and how much time he wasn't there to be with you.

He nods quietly before asking again,

"What about your parents?"

"Oh. They know, alright. I told them they were going to be grandparents and then they told me to never come see them again. It's fine by me, I'll do what they want, but if they want to see Nari? I can't do that yet." You shrugged, not really feeling anything, just a numb pain becoming of you. You push against it.

You have Yoongi, your best friend that you love so much, and you have Nari. That's all that matters.

He nods before kissing your knuckles once again. You smile softly. This is what you adored about him.

Yoongi never pushes, he lets you flow, lets you open up voluntarily because he knows you can't hide anything from him, he never takes advantage of anything. Yoongi wasn't selfish, wasn't greedy. He lets you do whatever makes you happy.

The silence was sliced through with a sharp ringtone, it startled you and him before he pockets his phone up and stares at the screen before questioning you.

"Y/N, do you want to see Jin-hyung? He really misses you." He looks up from the screen and turned the phone to you. Seokjin was requesting a video chat.

You thought about it for a moment, and to be honest, Jin was like your older brother, you trusted him a little less than how you trusted Yoongi, but nonetheless you still did. So you nod.

Yoongi smiles and waves at the camera.

"Hi, hyung." He places his free hand onto your blanket covered thigh and runs his thumb on it. Leaned back, you wait for Yoongi to talk.

"Yah, you stupid person! Where are you! It's Jeongguk's birthday today, and you took my car, why'd you took my car when you have your own!?" Jin hisses at the phone. Your eyes widen.

September 1st of 2016. Damn, even your daughter's birthday was Jeongguk's as well.

Why is the universe so keen on showing the whole world that Jeongguk is Nari's dad?

"Oh, uhm, hyung, I went to somewhere important, promise me you won't tell anyone. Are you alone?" Yoongi tries to peer onto the elder's surroundings before Jin said,

"Yes, I am, you dumb fuck, you took my car and now I'm in your room trying to find the keys to yours!"

"Hyung, pay attention for a bi- yah! Don't touch that!" Yoongi gently shouts at the phone, peering over the bed to see if it had disturbed little Nari.

You covered your hand to stifle your laugh and he shushes you playfully, taking your hand in his before kissing it again slowly, making sure Jin sees through the camera.

"Pay attentio- yah! Who are you with? You little — Everybody is getting ready to go to the party and you're with a woman! Yoongi, I swear to God if you—" Jin cut himself off as Yoongi now directs the camera at you.

You finally saw yourself on the small little screen, face bare and tired, hair down, the hospital gown showing a bit of your chest — in which Yoongi notices and puts a hand on it for cover, resulting a small giggle from you.

You smiled at Jin, who was shocked and staring into the camera. You waved and said,

"Hi, Jin oppa." You said in a sweet voice as Yoongi leans closer, pushing his face into view as you laughed.

"Y-yoongi, is that?"

"Yes, hyung. It's Y/N. Please don't tell anyone." You can see in the screen Jin nodding, still in shock, thousands of questions swarming his head at the moments.

"I'll be home soon, I just checked up on Y/N. See you." Yoongi reassured him, his hand still on your thigh, his head now on your shoulder.

"Okay. Y/N?" Jin calls out. You looked up and saw him already staring at you.

"Oppa?"

"I missed you."

A week later.

You carry little Nari inside the apartment, Yoongi behind you carrying everything you brought home to and from the hospital and everything you needed. 

You turn on the lights and saw that the helper you called last week had already come and cleaned up the place.

Before you rushed to the hospital, the place was a mess, you were a mess. When your water broke you instantly went into a panic, trying to get all your stuff before the contractions start, you drove to the hospital with no one beside you, saying you were going into labor.

You don't see the remnants of that chaotic moment in your home, it was cleaned spotless. You made a mental note to thank the helper later. Right now, you had to focus on getting Nari into bed before she wakes up for her breastfeeding.

"Have you set up her room, Y/N?" Yoongi asks you as he puts down the bags he was carrying.

He insisted on staying with you, although you kept declining kindly since you knew now Yoongi was a very busy producer, he said he'll make time for you as long as you needed. 

So he took a paternity leave, his coworkers shocked, thinking Yoongi was now a father.Well, he realized he technically was, he wanted to take care of Nari and planned to be her dad, make you his wife, and treat you both right. The real one was out of the discussion.

"She'll be sleeping in my room, oppa, her crib is already there and set up. You can just put the bags on the couch, I'll let her down." He nods and follows your order, you then continue on to your room, the white baby crib already next to your bed.

You set her down, making sure the crib was free of items that can cause her to suffocate if she moved, and that she wasn't sweating before getting one of the pair of the baby monitors you bought then kissing her forehead.You moved out of the room, leaving the door with just a crack so you can see from the living room.

Yoongi was already sitting in the couch, Doctor Kang's camera in his hands as he looks through the pictures with a fond smile. He looks up at you before patting the space beside him, making you sit. You leaned against his shoulder as he brings his arm to drape it across your shoulders, his free hand swiping at the photos in the camera. 

Pictures of you smiling, documentations of your baby bump, a video of Nari moving inside your tummy, everything was captured in there. 

Yoongi was looking at them with a fondness and regret. He wished that he was with you all throughout your pregnancy. He wished that he had found you sooner, to accompany you.

"You should've called me, you know. I'd be more than willing to spend the 10 months with you." He says as he stares at a picture of you and your small 3rd month baby bump, smiling as he observes.

"Oppa, I know that you're a busy person, if you weren't busy you're probably sleeping. I didn't want to bothe-" He cut you off with a kiss. You smiled and leaned into his shoulder a bit more.

"You're getting too much kisses, mister. I think I have to put a limit." You mutter into the kiss and he laughs, throwing his head back before holding your face with his two hands."As long as you're with me, I'll never get enough kisses." He kisses your nose before he reaches for the television remote and turned it on. 

You cuddle into Yoongi's warm body, wrapping your arms around his torso as he pulled you closer. His phone rang, he sighed before picking it up from the table. You placed your chin onto his shoulder, getting a good look of his phone. It was Seokjin again. 

"Yoongi, are you with Y/N? Where's my niece?" Jin's voice rang through the whole room.You chuckled and squished your face onto Yoongi's, hearing him grumble to disguise his laughter. Jin saw you through the camera and laughed at Yoongi's face.

"Aigoo, look at you two. Mom and dad vibes." You chuckle and Yoongi gave you a kiss on your cheek before asking Jin what he wanted.

"I was wondering if the boys and I can see her tomo-" You and Yoongi both sat up in frantic panic."You told them?! Hyung!" Yoongi hisses onto the phone, you bit down your lip nervously.

You didn't want them to know. Most importantly, you didn't want him to know. You weren't ready to face the rest of the group. You were scared.

"Of course not, I'm just asking if I can bring the boys with me to see Nari tomorrow but I think that's out of the window." Jin chuckles nervously as Yoongi stares angrily at the phone.

You knew how scary Yoongi can get when he's angry, which you rarely see because he's normally a goofball.

"Hyung, they can't know yet. Y/N makes the decisions here. We have to follow her." Yoongi sighs, anger subsiding quickly as you rake your hands through his hair, calming him down as he turns to look at you and smiles a weak smile.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm coming tomorrow to see you both, won't bring anyone with me. Do you need anything?"

"Oppa, can you bring chicken, and iced orange juice from the-"

"From that cafe you went to yesterday, hyung, and bring lots of fruits, I think her pregnancy cravings are a bit overdue." Yoongi jokes as he rubs your stomach, you wanted to eat fruit all the time, you didn't know why, you just craved it.

"Sure, anything else? What about Nari, what brand are her diapers? Does she have a specific milk formula or does she breastfeed?" Jin rants off as he stares into his computer.Jin was now a famous restaurant owner, branches scattered all over Seoul. You smiled at the memories flooding in your head.

Times when Seokjin and Yoongi were arguing in the kitchen which pasta to cook, Jimin braiding your hair and calling you pretty, Taehyung, Namjoon, and Hoseok playing a game on Jeongguk's phone while Jeongguk was playing on the game console on the couch.

You blinked and came back to reality when Yoongi tilts your chink up to make you look at him.

"Y/N, I was asking if you're hungry." He says in a soft voice, searching your eyes, looking for something that says discomfort.

"Are you cooking?" He nods and you say whatever was easiest to cook. 

He kisses your forehead before walking to the small kitchen, talking to Jin as he gathers ingredients.

You leaned your head back, closing your eyes and softly sighing.

We're all gonna be okay. You thought as sleep took over you.

Author’s Note:

eager reader,

hello! first chapter in (which btw is heavily unedited) and im already so excited for more! i hope u all feel the same as i do! tbh i think yoongi and y/n were absolutely adorable in this chapter esp with little nari in the picture, i was smiling the whole time i was writing!

this fic was originally intended to be published in wattpad, but i thought about staying on tumblr permanently, so here i am!

i would like to note, this story is set in south korea, seoul so there are romanized korean words !!!

each chapter (not all of them) are set in different timelines to depict a day in the life of nari and y/n! also this fic contains very unrealistic depictions of real life situations but who cares? it's a damn fiction, whatever goes, go. ;)

Taglist: None yet!

send in an ask if you want to be added to the Tough Taglist!

hope all of you are safe and sound, please get vaccinated if u can and if u already are, still stay indoors during this pandemic! <3

thank you! continue to like, reblog and read !!

---

will there be smutty scenes that we'd get to see??

Teaser for Tough’s Chapter 2:

"Gonna let daddy cum in your pussy like a good girl? Are you my good girl?" You nod and started to move with him, wanting to release the pressure in your lower abdomen, desperately.

… Does that answer your question? Lol!

---

A Jeon Jeongguk fanfic, by jeonggukkiss.

Tough | mom!reader x ceo!dad!jk with a little bit of reader x yoongi | smut, angst, fluff, slow burn, slice of life ! au series

Warnings for this chapter: semi edited, nari cries :(( , y/n also cries, angsty chap, yoongi cries too D: , stalker-ish jk, graphic depictions of being chased by a whole security team, besties... im scared to tell you this... hella sad breakup, yoongi says fucked up shit when he’s mad, scary situations that requires y/n & nari to move houses, y/n experiences a panic attack, more to be added

Chapter 3

Main Masterlist

Previous || Next…

2019

"Nari, please stop making a mess of your food." You sighed at the 3 year old, who was silently crying while trying to eat. You picked up an already wet napkin to wipe at her chin, silently praying she stops crying soon or else she'll be too sleepy for the rest of the day.

She tried to cover up a sob but you heard it clearly. Feeling guilty for scolding her, you picked her up and sat her on your lap while the television idly played.

"I'm sorry, baby, really, uncle Yoonie, Hobi, Namu and Jinnie can't come celebrate your birthday today, but, you know, at least Eomma's here." You assure her with a tight lipped smile as you rubbed her back and pushed back her hair that had fallen to her face.

"No leave E-eomma." She cries into your chest as she hugs you. Your heart broke seeing your daughter miss her uncles. You wanted to cry with her. But this was for the best. You pray that this was for the best.

It would have been better if Nari grew up without any knowledge, memories of them.

You vividly remember the fight you and Yoongi had. Last week while Nari was asleep.

"You shouldn't have told me you wanted something more if you're going to act all entitled about it!"

"Entitled?! We're in a relationship and have a daughter that's turning three next week! I'm not being entitled, I am practically acting like your girlfriend because I am! And I act like this, it's because I care about you, Min Yoongi!" You snapped at him.

"Then don't suffocate me if you care about me! And daughter?! Nari is not my daughter! Mind you, she's Jeongguk's for fuck's sakes! You're always so clingy and-and just so suffocating to be around with, don't you have a kid to take care of rather than wasting time rubbing your affection all over me?! Or are you too much of an annoying loner to do anything other than that?"

And in silence, you hear your heart break again. For the second time since 2 years ago. But this time, the pain was doubled.

"We should've just stayed as damn friends." He muttered as he looked down, breathing heavily. The whole room was filled with heaviness. Your heart felt heavy as well.

You curled your fingers, feeling the hot tears streaming down your face. You didn't want him to see how weak he made you, so you aggressively wiped them with your palms and sniffled quietly before you looked up at him.

"Yeah.You're right, I—you know what? I think it's better if we're strangers again from now on. Don't come to visit me after this or I'll leave and you'll never see me and Nari ever again. I did it once, I don't see why I can't do it twice." You kept your voice steady as you try to keep your tears at bay. He takes a moment to digest your words, then looks up and quickly shakes his head, finally realizing his mistake.

He walks towards you and wraps his arms around you, regret eating at his subconscious. He sobs as he nuzzles his head in your neck.

But you didn't react, even though you wanted to hug him tightly and never let go.

You're not a fool, you were not going to allow yourself to be a fool. You ignored the red flags the first time with Jeongguk. You weren't going to again, this time with Yoongi.

"Y/N, I'm sorry, I-I was just stressed about work and mad and — please don't leave me, please I-"

"The door's right there, Yoongi."

You haven't seen or heard from Yoongi ever since he went out the door. You then told the 3 other men — as nicely as you can — that they were not allowed to see Nari too. They were puzzled, hurt even, and wanted to protest but they didn't. They knew they had to respect your decisions.

Even if it hurts them. Even if it hurts you.

Your heart was still hurting, very much, but you did everything that could distract you. You always focused on Nari but sometimes even looking at her hurt you. Every time you looked at her Yoongi's voice crashed through your ear.

"Nari is not my daughter!"

You shivered and blinked back to reality, realizing that your daughter had fallen asleep on your lap, her tears were drying on her supple cheeks. You sighed and leaned back onto the couch, grabbing the blanket beside you and covering you both.

This has become a routine for you both, Nari crying because she misses her uncles, you comforting her while trying to hold back your tears, her finally falling asleep on your lap. And when she was asleep, it was your turn to cry.

You finally let out a few tears, trying to reign back your sobs to not wake up the little girl sleeping. Before, you had everything under control, everything planned. How you were supposed to raise Nari all on your own. Now you regret all your decisions.

You shouldn't have let them meet her.

You shouldn't have let them visit her, or take her out.

You should've just stayed away. You should've just kept your distance.

You should've never called Yoongi in the first place.

You cry harder, remembering everything the two of you did. How every memory you had with your daughter he was always somehow in them all.

You missed him, but you weren't going to act upon it.

So you built up the wall Yoongi had broken down, built it up twice as high so that not one person can climb over it. Built it up so strong, not one person can make it kiss the ground. Only you and Nari were on the other side of the wall. And that's fine by you.

You rested your hand onto Nari's back and shushed her as she whimpered in her sleep, probably dreaming of the man she calls appa again.

She had trouble sleeping at night, she had grown accustomed to the man she knows by now as her dad sleeping next to her, with her mom on her opposite side.

"How are we supposed to celebrate your birthdays now, baby?" You whisper as you stare into space, hand combing her hair as she sleeps soundly against you.

You had planned to take her out with Janyeon and Areum today but Areum said that Janyeon had daycare today. Which reminds you...

You have to apply Nari for daycare soon.

You were nervous, she had never been around that many kids, only with Janyeon. But Nari was smart, like really, really smart. She started to understand Korean and English words at 2 because you talk to her in both languages, sometimes you even mix them both in a sentence. Although she still blubbers, she's familiar with a few Hangul characters and English letters. You taught her shapes and numbers, and so far she's getting the hang of calling out the different colors around her.

She has shown great intelligence at her age. It made you think she's secretly Namjoon's twin.

You know she can handle anything education related, but you're nervous about how she'll cope with the sudden change of environment for her. Nari's a very open person to adults, since adults were the only people she was exposed to, you didn't know about children though.

You sighed as you sat up, carrying Nari with you as you stood, you walked to the bedroom to carefully lay her down on the bed. You tuck her in and start to contemplate your choices.

Either a, you call the helper that stays with Nari on times you went out and make her watch her for a few so you can go and apply Nari for next month's daycare program. Or b, you can just bring Nari with you.

But she's sleeping right now. Stupid, you thought to yourself.

You stood up and went out the room, walking down the hallway and into the small kitchen, sitting down at the dinner table, you picked up your phone out of your pocket and searched for the helper's contact.

"Yes, Eonni?"

"Hey, I'm sorry to be a bother but, I was wondering if you can watch Nari today?" You nervously pinched and played with your bottom lip as you talked on the phone.

"Today? Really? Isn't it her birthday?"

"Yes, but she's asleep right now so I think we'll be going out late this afternoon. I'll be quick, I just need to run a few errands."

"Oh sure, I'll be right down."

The good thing about your helper was that she was always one call away, she literally lived two floors above yours.

You wait for the helper, leaving some money on the dinner table, and draping your coat on your arm as you get your purse. When she came, you exchanged a few words and laughed before you went out into the cold Seoul morning.

You walked a few blocks, crossed a few streets, and saw the playground near the daycare Janyeon goes to. And just in time to see Areum walking out onto the sidewalk. Her gaze mets yours and after being surprised, she smiles widely.

"Eonni! Are you finally enrolling Nari?" She reaches you and wraps her arms with yours, walking the same direction with you. You nod and she squeals in excitement while you chuckle.

"I've been telling you since I saw how she pointed at Hangul characters! And did you know she speaks a bit of English!? You got a gifted one!" You playfully scoff while trying to hide your proud smile as you both walk into the daycare, kids running around and screams of happiness were heard in a few rooms.

She obviously got it from me, you thought. You didn't have a whole wall dedicated full of your medals and certificates of academic excellence recognition at your parents' house for nothing.

"Hello, welcome! Are you two enrolling?" A teacher notices your entrance and approaches you both. Your sister shakes her head as she points at you.

"I have my son enrolled here already, he's in class Sunshine 2, Go Janyeon. My sister here is planning to enrol her daughter." She says as the teacher nods happily.

"Oh! That's wonderful news! Let me assist you to our director, you're just in time, we have a new program this winter." She walks you both through the colourful hallways, stopping at the only room that looked more professional amidst the child-friendly design the whole daycare had.

"Just sit there and he'll be with you in a minute." She opens the room and points to the two chairs in front of a desk. You both comply and sit. After a few moments the director comes in.

And my, was he something.

"Good morning. Welcome to Seoul Central Daycare, or in our words, a galaxy that holds the brightest stars of the future. I heard you have a star to enroll here?" The director greets you both in a deep voice, with a smile as he sits onto the chair behind the desk.

He reaches for your sister's hand to shake it and then turns to you, stopping a bit to stare at your features, before reaching for your hand, shaking it slowly with a soft smile.

"Yes, I actually have my son enrolled here, Go Janyeon, if you know him." Your sister starts. She figured you would be clueless how to handle these kinds of situations, it was your first time handling something that helped shape Nari's future, so she had to talk and she took first charge of the situation.

"Ah yes, that cute one has the most stars this week on his goodie chart, the daycare teachers love him." The director chuckles before letting your sister continue.

"Actually, my sister here wants to enroll her daughter, she's three years old, and she's very gifted." She nods at you and you smile, again holding back the proud look you had.

"Oh? And her name is?" He turns to you and once he looks at you, he smiles again.

"Her name is Cha Nari, and I'm her mom, Cha Y/N, it's a pleasure to meet you sir..." You trailed off, not knowing what to call him.

"Park Seojoon, but I prefer Seojoon, if you will, and the pleasure is all mine." He sneakily sends you a wink before smiling. You felt your eyebrows raise in surprise and you awkwardly smiled, looking down a bit as you were caught a bit off guard.

Woah, that was smooth but why do I have the sudden urge to laugh, you thought.

"Gifted you say?" He asks you, his smile never falling. Your sister notices the exchange and catches on to what the director was doing.

She stands up quickly, making you both look at her.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go to do important errands, I'll be back to pick up Janyeon later. You can handle it from here on out, right Eonni?" She asks you as she heads for the door. You nod and she smiles and winks at you before she's out.

You turned back to the director but he was already looking at you, a fond smile on his face. You blushed, embarrassed, and then you cleared your throat.

"She's a very smart girl. Last year, she started picking up on the Korean and English language, and she recognises some Hangul characters and English letters, she's very good at memorization. Right now, I'm slowly teaching her how to identify colors. She's a curious girl, and is open and enthusiastic to learn one new thing every day." You say in a faint smile, feeling proud of how Nari was progressing every day.

"I see, and when can I meet this angel if you are going to enroll her here?" He asks as he places his chin on his palm, staring at you in awe.

"Uhm, when she starts daycare? I guess?" You shrugged and smiled confusedly at him.

Why is this man flirting with me? I'm literally just trying to enroll my daughter. The voice in your head exasperatedly comments.

He chuckles and leans back, his arms reaching down his desk and he pulls out a pen and paper. He writes down something on the back of it before speaking.

"Here's an enrollment form, the school banking information is in there, Nari's information, a copy of her health records, an emergency contact, a copy of her birth certificate and other requirements are stated there, it's fine if you pass this form and the requirements on the day you enroll her. If you have questions, numbers are on there as well." He passes you the paper.

You picked it up from his hold and thanked him before folding it neatly and placing it in your white tote bag. You stood up, him following suit.

"Ms. Cha, I would like to meet you again, not professionally, if that's possible." He rounds over the table to finally stand in front of you.

Huh?

Your brain short circuited for a bit.

You still for a bit, staring at his chest. He was so tall, taller than Namjoon, you could say, your head only meeting just a bit above his chest. You looked up and saw his eyes already piercing yours.

You stare at him and your knees straighten up, feeling just a tad bit intimidated under his gaze.

"You don't think I have a husband?" You ask him in a fake joking tone with a raised brow, hiding the annoyance in your tone, he tilts his head to the side before chuckling softly.

"Cha Nari, Cha Y/N, same surnames, most mothers use their husband's name on their child but I figured already. And you came here with your sister when most moms come here with their husbands or no one at all. I think it's safe to say that I'm asking a single mother for her friendship." He smiles and holds out his palm.

You smile and nod.

Where...

Does he get the audacity?

You were not one bit swayed with his attempts to flirt. You're a tough cookie to crack. He's up for a challenge.

"You're very smart." You pressed your palm into it intending to shake his hand but instead he brought it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly as a farewell. You chuckle lightly, a bit repulsed by the director's actions.

I swear if I don't get discounts on Nari's school fees, I'm gon—

"Do you give all your clients this kind of greeting?" You interrupt your own train of thought with a fake high pitched laugh as he lets down your hand and walks beside you out into the hallway.

"Only you, ma'am. Hard to believe, I know, but I'm a very professional person." He winks down at you. You scoff and shake your head laughing. He then stops in front of a board that was filled with one by one sized pictures, you look closely and see that it was pictures of mothers, their names and their kids' names under the picture.

Pick-Up Person Board.

"Now don't be surprised. We have this board here for safety reasons, this board determines who picks up the child after school. If the mother wishes to change the pick up, she can request to add another picture. Do you mind if I take one of you today? Since you're already here." He proposes as he whips out his phone.

You nod and he told you to stand by the white wall next to the board. You fix your hair a bit and stand up straight. You smile at the camera for a few shots, he was adjusting every angle so your face was seen beautifully.

You genuinely laughed when he started to playfully angle himself and shoot like a photographer to a model.

"You're a natural, Ms. Cha!"

"Pssh! You! Are! Crazy!" You continued laughing at him while trying to stay still, but your face was all wrinkled in a happy giggle.

He's not all bad, I guess, comes commenting your conscience.

When he was done he stood up and you learned from his shoulder on your tiptoes, trying to view the pictures but his height was making it difficult for you. He laughs and shows you the pictures.

"You look beautiful, don't worry." He says as he swipes on the screen. You scoff again, his compliments having no effect on you. Turning off his phone, you both continue to walk.

You stop at the glass doors of the daycare and you turn to him. He smiles down at you in a fondness you can't decipher.

"I'll be waiting for Nari, and you, Ms. Y/N." He says as he opens the door for you. You laugh and walk out the door before turning to him again.

"Expect us to come soon, Mr. Seojoon." You wink, flirting back subtly just for the fun of it, before bowing and turning back to walk out the daycare grounds.

"Mhm, confirmed, she has you whipped." The guard at the side of the glass doors shifted his eyes between you and the man still staring at your walking form.

"Damn right, Wooshik, that woman is a living goddess." Seojoon speaks like he ran a marathon. No woman had that effect on him, not even the mother of his 5 year old son that he's divorced with.

"I'd say, when I saw her walk into the gates, I was shocked to find out she's a mom. I mean, she looks so young!" Wooshik adds as your walking form has disappeared further into the streets of Seoul. Seojoon leaned against Wooshik's guard desk and sighed.

"Her sister said her daughter's a gifted one. I think the kid's got it from her."

"Hyungs!" Called a new deep voice. They both looked at the direction the voice came from and waved simultaneously.

"Taehyung!"

Wooshik calls over the newcomer. The younger one came through the daycare's gates and stopped in front of them. He was carrying a grocery bag. He smiled and did their usual handshakes and hugs before going back to where he stood.

"You should've arrived sooner. There was a goddess who came by a little earlier before you." Wooshik nods his head at Seojoon, who was smiling at his phone.

"Goddess? Who?" Taehyung laughs as Seojoon practically swoons over his phone, fanning himself. He turns the phone to Taehyung, whose smile dropped and a shock expression now on his face.

"Her name's Cha Y/N. And she's by far the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life." Taehyung stares in shock at the elder's phone, he mindlessly drops the grocery bag he was holding

"Taehyung, you okay buddy?" Wooshik asks at the younger, who continues gaping at your smiling face.

"B-But— how? When?" He stutters out as he grabs a hold of Seojoon's phone. He studied your picture and swiped, seeing more of you, laughing and smiling.

"I told you, man, she was here earlier, enrolling her kid or something." Wooshik shrugged and turned to Seojoon.

"She was here to enroll her kid, and she said that the child's gifted, very smart from what I heard." Seojoon says, a smile never fading from his face. Taehyung nodded in silence, still and even more shocked. He picked up his grocery bag, and bid goodbye to his hyungs. Before he left though, he shouts by the gate of the daycare,

"Hyung! Do you think you can send me that picture?"

And then back in the dorm.

"I'm telling you, hyung! It's her!" Taehyung follows Jin around the place, screaming at the eldest as Jin tries his best to ignore him.

Everybody was wondering what's got into Tae, they had never seen him so panicky and loud unless it's his usual nonsense or something really important.

"Taehyung, she's gone. As far as I know, she left Korea. Stop believing lies." Jin simply and calmly answers the younger with a lie while he cooks. He knew what Taehyung is saying is true. But this is the best for all of them.

"Jin-hyung! Ugh! Why won't you listen to me! She—" A ding from his pocket cut him off. His eyes widen as he fumbles around, and picks up his phone.

"It's her! I'm telling you it's her!" Taehyung screams just as soon as the three other men come inside, Yoongi and Jeongguk still asleep. Jimin laughs and sits down on the dining table, waiting for breakfast to start.

"What are you on about, Tae?" Jimin asks as soon as Taehyung stands at the head of the table, looking like a CEO ready to start a board meeting.

Taehyung got out his phone and placed it onto the table.

"I found Y/N." He says as a matter-of-fact as the others went to look into his phone. Jimin gasps and picks up the phone.

"What the fuck?! Is this really her?!" He asks as he stares at the picture on his phone. The woman who was smiling beautifully at the camera. Namjoon and Hoseok looked into the phone and then looked at each other, a sheer panic expression painted on their faces.

Jin turned around and cleared his throat just as soon as Yoongi came into the kitchen, followed by Jeongguk.

"Why is it so fucking loud this morning?" Yoongi grumbles as he walks over to the coffee maker.

"It's Y/N!" Jimin shouts. Yoongi stills and almost dropped the cup in his hands. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Jeongguk's head perk up at the mention of the woman. Yoongi turned around, cup forgotten on the counter.

He, Jin and Jeongguk approached the table. And they all leaned over to look at Taehyung's phone.

Everyone in the dorm was stuck in silence as they stared at your picture, a beautiful smile painting your face as you stared at the camera.

Another message came in, it was from Seojoon again, and it was a video. Jimin clicked it hurriedly and your face popped into the screen.

"You're a natural Ms. Cha!"

"Psssh! You! Are! Crazy!" You laugh as you try to smile at the camera but fail as you giggled loudly.

Seojoon Hyung: Isn't she the most beautiful person you've ever seen? I'm in love >.<.

A small chuckle was heard in the room, breaking the thick tension and silence. They all looked up to see Jeongguk smiling coldly.

"She's still here." He says as he watches you laugh into the camera.

It was so strange for him to hear your voice again. He didn't know what he felt. Anger? Regret? Sadness? He couldn't tell. But he prays he never sees you.

He prays your paths never cross each other again.

Or else he might not be able to stop himself.

"Seojoon? The one that owns the daycare down south?" Namjoon asks as he saw the message. Taehyung nods.

"He said she'd enrolled her kid there."

"She has a kid now?!" Jimin screams in shock. Jeongguk laughed in an obnoxiously loud way and the whole room quieted.

"She's a mom now. Wow. Happy birthday to me then." He shrugs as he walks to the counter to get his morning cereal.

Yoongi's eye twitches in annoyance. Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin looked at each other warily.

But they knew they couldn't say anything, they had to respect your choices. Yoongi quickly whips out his phone as well and makes a quick text.

"Okay, uhm, let's just eat breakfast." Jin says as he turned off and took Taehyung's phone from Jimin and handed it to the owner.

"But Y/N—"

"Clearly doesn't want anything to do with us. Leave her be, Taehyung." Yoongi cuts in sharply. Taehyung bowed his head and Jimin shut his mouth.

They all missed you, wanted to see you, ask how you were doing. Jeongguk too, though he didn't want to admit it.

It's better this way.

Yoongi: Wear a mask every time you go out. Pollution is getting worse these days. It's safer that way.

You read the message Yoongi sent you and sighed. You picked up the mask you had brought with you and wore it, covering your nose and mouth with it.

It was the first attempt of his to reach out to you. But you were disappointed. You expected more from him. You weren't surprised though.

"Guys! I'm home." You call as you step into the apartment. Taking off your shoes and coat, Nari comes from her playroom screaming.

"Eomma!" She happily jumps at you and you catch her. You laugh as she fills your face with kisses. The helper follows behind her.

"Thank you for watching her, lunch next week? My treat." She smiles and hugs you warmly in response.

"Sure, Eonni, happy to watch her anytime. See you again Nari!" She bids farewell as she steps out of the apartment. You pick up Nari and walk to the couch. It was lunch time now and you hadn't cooked anything yet.

"Nari-ah, what do you want for lunch? Mommy hasn't cooked yet." You ask her as she runs around the living room.

"Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!" She screams as she runs around in circles. You laugh at her, knowing later she'll be tired and sleepy after she eats.

"Go grab your shoes and coat, baby. We'll eat out." You tell her as you got up to grab yours. She follows you to the coat rack and shoe rack, she steps on the baby step stool to reach for her stuff while you reach yours.

"Need mommy's help?" You looked down at her as you shrugged your coat on again. She shook her head and continued to put on her sneakers, only calling for your help to tie them.

You grabbed Yoongi's beanie that he left on the rack and put on Nari, and a black mask to cover her nose and mouth, solely because she gets allergies from the cold.

You strapped on her bag that was filled with her things and went out with her into the wintery Seoul.

You hold her hand as she skips along the sidewalk next to you until you stop at the chicken place you both go to. You led her in first and closed the glass door behind you.

"How many people?!" Shouts the waiter at the back at your arrival. It has always been like this, they cook in the back and you have to shout out to get their attention.

"Two please!" You shout at the waiter in the back as you waved at her, notifying where you'll be sitting.

There weren't too many people today, probably because the weather's freezing. But Nari enjoyed winter, she loved snow even though it caused her to sneeze all the time. She loves being out when it is this time of year.

"Here you go, the usual?" Your waitress comes with lemonade and glasses before asking. You nod at her with a smile and she nodded. It was only a while you had waited and next thing you know your food was here.

You and Nari ate noisily, she sat in her high chair next to you and played with the crayons the staff gave her. You both laughed and you comfortably talked to her how you would to your friends, it was your strategy to help her learn both Korean and English.

"Nari, what part is this?" You ask as you hold up a thigh part from the chicken platter. She giggles and grabs it from your hands before munching on it.

"Tae part." She laughs with her mouth full trying to say thigh but you stilled as you heard the words fall from her lips.

Tae. Taehyung.

You shook your head, it's probably a baby thing, saying things out of nowhere. You paid it no mind. You continued to eat like your daughter hadn't said your old friend's name that she doesn't have any knowledge of.

"Nari, do you wanna go to school? New experiences, honey. Learn new stuff and maybe even play more?" You brought up the subject as she sips her sippy cup where you transferred the lemonade.

"Play mommy?" She asks you as she looks up, her big doe eyes and lips glistening. She looks so much like Jeongguk. She was so beautiful.

You nod and brush her hair. She smiled at you with barbecue sauce all over her mouth. You laughed and wiped them off with a napkin.

Little did you two know that someone was watching you out the door as you both ate.

"It's her. It really is her." Taehyung whispers as he stares at you in awe, noting how much you've changed.

"She got prettier." Jimin gushes as he stares at your face, noticing how much you've matured in the last few years. Taehyung nods in agreement.

They had both followed you here. Jin sent them out to get take out for lunch. They were on their way to a dimsum shop but stopped when Taehyung saw the familiar color of your coat when you rounded a corner. All thanks to the picture Seojoon sent him.

And when you leaned back to call at the waiter, they finally saw her.

They saw Nari.

"Oh my fuck! Tae! There! That's her kid!" Jimin pushes the other as he jumps, pointing at the cute baby, face messy from all the barbecue sauce.

Nari looked up from her chicken and saw the jumping man outside the shop. She laughs cutely and you look at her confused.

"What's so funny, baby?" You ask her as you follow her line of vision to the outside, but nothing was there.

"Jump!" She says as she continues to chew on the chicken meat. You chuckle at her wild imagination as the waitress brought more rice.

You spoon fed her the rice, knowing she was just going to snack on the chicken and ignore the rice. Just exactly how Jeongguk does. She picked up his traits more than yours.

"Nari, after this, do you want to go to the park?" You ask her as she chews more. She nods and smiles at you, teeth stained brown from the sauce. You laughed and continued to eat.

"We have to tell Jeongguk." Jimin says to Tae as they went into the dimsum shop. Taehyung stares at him weirdly and falls in line.

"Why? They broke up years ago, Minnie. There's no point." Taehyung shrugs Jimin's proposal without a care, following the line to the counter as the shorter man follows beside him.

"But, did you see how old the kid looked? Probably about 3 or 2 years old." Jimin continues. Taehyung looks at him, curious about what the older man was trying to say. He cocked a brow and beckoned him to continue.

"What if it's his kid?"

Taehyung laughed loudly, startling the people in line with him. Jimin smiled apologetically and kicked Taehyung's shin lightly, making the younger stop from laughing.

"Jimin, don't be stupid. She can't be Jeongguk's daughter. If it was then she would at least reach out for child support." Taehyung says as he crosses his arms on his chest, looking at the shorter man.

"I don't even know anymore, Tae. You know what, let's just go order and go home." Jimin nods, shutting down the idea quickly as they rounded up the counter.

"Come again soon, you two!" Said the waitress as you and Nari walked out the restaurant, hand in hand. You waved and walked forward, Nari skipping alongside you.

As you rounded the corner towards the bus station, you suddenly saw so many people in front of the street you were about to walk, each having a different item in their hands. Cameras, lights, mics and reporters and many more surrounded the area and you pulled Nari up to carry her, scared to lose your daughter in the sea of people.

You pull both of your masks up and walk silently, trying to stay camouflaged in the crowd.

"Mr. Jeon! Happy birthday! May we have a minute of your time?!" You heard a reporter shout far behind you.

You gasped in shock and like your body had a mind its own, turned around to the other side of the wide street to see a man, clad in a formal suit and tie walking out the building, the reporters swarming the area as security tried their best to distance them.

Jeongguk.

He looked... pristine. Like a protected gem. His hair was slicked back as he nodded and smiled charmingly at the reporter, who tried hard not to swoon.

He looks up for a second, feeling something off, before he skimmed the area and then, all of a sudden,

His eyes met yours.

You squeak before hurriedly dashing off, trying your best to run with Nari in your hands. It was a good thing you weren't wearing heals today. Or else that would be the cost of your downfall.

"You! Hey! Who—" You heard him shout distantly but before he had the chance to run to you, his face was being shoved in microphones and cameras.

You ran and ran, feeling your knees burning from running while carrying Nari's weight with you. But you didn't stopped running.

It wasn't long until you heard multiple footsteps behind you, so you tried your best to confuse them with your directions, rounded all corners and avoided familiar crosswalks until you reached your apartment complex, noticing how the footsteps behind you seemingly so distant now, they lost you somehow.

You ran straight to the stairs, ignoring the people in the open elevator that stared at you. You placed Nari gently on the ground as you reached your apartment door.

You fumble with your pocket for the key and opened your apartment door. You ushered Nari gently inside and quickly followed, locking it and peeping through the peephole. You closed the curtains and turned off the light, you were suddenly grateful you put the shoe racks inside the house or else the people outside might know you're home.

Nari stared at you curiously, wondering why all of the sudden her mom had run back home when you were both supposed to be going to the park. But she just watched you, she's very smart to sense something was wrong and kept quiet.

You looked down at her and sent a panicky smile, putting up a finger against your lips as you signaled her to be quiet.

You then heard a group of distant footsteps from outside your door. You quickly looked into the peephole just in time to see a group of men looking around outside your door.

You stifle a gasp. With fear coursing in your veins, you quickly hold on to the lock of the door. You then see the tallest of them pull out his phone and look like he dialed a number, he didn't bring it up to his ear though.

"Did you find her?"

"My apologies, Mr. Jeon. We lost her. We also asked the building's staff if they had a tenant under the name..." You froze at his next words.

"Cha Y/N."

They knew you. They knew who you were. And they saw you with Nari.

They were trying to find you.

You distinctly heard the other voice on the phone sigh.

"That's fine. Seoul's not that big for me to search. And she can hide all she wants, I'm going to find her sooner or later." The person on the phone chuckles and the guard agrees.

"Yes, sir. We'll try our best to find her. We've already got the area scouted." Your eyes widen in shock. You looked down at Nari now silently playing with her dolls in front of you, not seeming to want to leave your side.

How were you going to go out now?

It was a good thing that your apartment was under your sister's name, Go Areum, it saved you at this scary moment.

You peeped the peep hole again and saw that the men were now looking at your door. You refrain from squeaking in fright as you remembered a person can only look through the peephole from the inside. You prayed silently to whoever was up there for a miracle.

"Kim Jisoo, you should leave before we get sued for trespassing on paid and protected properties. But keep the place under surveillance." Says the voice from the phone. You sighed in relief and continued to listen.

"Yes sir, follow through, boys." He says and ends the call. He signals the men to leave, making him the only one left in front of your door. He looked down the hallway.

"Cha Y/N, I know you're here. I'm going to find you." He silently says in the empty air, taking a moment to study every door in the hallway, before turning and leaving.

You sigh and finally slumped back to the wall. You breathe in heavily as you start to relax.

"I have to make a plan." You look at the floor before you look at Nari. You had to get her out of here, it wasn't safe for both of you to stay here now that Jeongguk knew your whereabouts.

Jeongguk was not going to stop, especially since he sent those men after you. He must've had a reason why he wanted to find you.

You shut your eyes as you thought of a plan to get Nari out the building without you coming out with her. You think and think until a plan finally finalizes itself in your head.

You pulled out your phone from your coat and dialled his number, even though it was against your will, you had to. To keep Nari safe.

"Yoongi oppa?"

"Y/N? How are you? Do you need anything? How's Nar—"

"Oppa, I'll answer your questions later, but please, I need your help." You shakily say as you feel your hand tremble from the nerves.

You glanced at Nari starting to lay on the floor again, wanting to sleep from being full and having her energy spent from all the skipping she did earlier. You held up your phone to your ear with your shoulder as you picked up Nari and laid her on the couch.

"Sure, anything, what is it?"

"Can you come by and pick up Nari, bring her to my sister?" You say as you went inside to your room and brought out a duffle bag. You started out by getting Nari's clothes, all her belongings.

"What!? Why? Are you leaving again? Y/N, if this is about our argu—" You sighed, cutting him off.

"No, this is far more important than our argument. Please, oppa, just help me." You were on the verge of crying as you rashly folded Nari's clothes into the duffle bag, making sure everything fit so you can pack more of her needs.

"Then— fine, I hate it when you're being secretive. What time should I come by? I'm in the studio right now so it might take me 2 hours?" You heard his fingers clicking a keyboard.

"Perfect, just as long as you come. Bring no one with you, make sure no one can recognise your face. Act subtle." You advised him as you started to pack a few toys that your daughter can't live without.

"Fine. Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"I, oppa... Just— just come, please." You ended the call before your tears escaped your eyes. You sobbed as you then brought the duffle bag to the living room, packing up Nari's diapers and bottles. You squeezed everything inside the duffle bag.

You couldn't bring the wheeled luggage, it was too eye-catching. So this will have to do. You can bring the luggage out once Nari wasn't in the apartment.

You took your phone again and sent a text to Areum.

Y/N Eonni: are you free today?

AreumUgly: Yeah, what's up

Y/N Eonni: Meet up with Yoongi and take Nari to mom and dad's

AreumUgly: Why what's wrong, you were fine this morning

Y/N Eonni: I'll explain later , can you do that for me?

AreumUgly: Sure sure, just text me the deets.

Y/N Eonni: okay, thank you. I promise to explain everything later.

You finished packing the duffle bag, but you weren't finished with your plan. You checked into the living room to see if Nari was still sleeping, which she was.

You then went back into the bedroom, crouching under the bed and pulled out the box you promised to never open up again years ago.

"Just this time. This. Time. Only." You say to yourself as you open the lid and see what once was your obsession.

Hair products. Different dyes, tons and tons of large bottles of hair dyes. There were a few extensions, but that won't help you.

You looked at your healthy, brown hair and sighed. You had to completely change your hair since it was the only thing they saw of you.

You picked up a large bottle of bleach considering your waist-length virgin hair, a 30 volume developer, and an almost grey shade of lilac hair dye.

This was the best option.

Jeongguk knows how your hair looks in different shades of blond and red. But not this. You've never tried lilac.

"Just today. After this, you go back, Y/N." You warned yourself as you pulled on the gloves.

You changed into an old tattered shirt and looked at the time. You then started to bleach your hair, wasting no time as you hurriedly applied the product down and up the length of your hair.

It's true when they say old habits die hard. You were coloring your hair like how you would three years ago.

You coloured everyone's hair. The boys' more especially, they loved having their hair color changed ever so often. Your sister had also become your muse back then. You loved it when you were bleaching and dying a person's hair. It was your kind of talent.

After you had set the bleach in for 20 minutes in two sets, you then proceeded to color your hair in the dyes you chose. After letting that set for another 30 minutes, you went and rinsed. You weren't surprised with how well the color lifted on your hair, it was grown out and was free from chemicals. You blow dried and brushed your hair and looked into the mirror, observing yourself.

Honestly, you admitted you could've done better, the lilac wasn't that lively so your hair looked all smokey gray with just a tint of lilac. But vanity wasn't important here.

Escaping from Jeongguk was.

You brushed a hand through your hair, sighing as it laid in front of your eyes. You were trying to escape your obsession with hair dyes because you had almost fried all of your hair off from dying it too much all those years ago.

You went into the living room, seeing Nari still asleep on the couch, you didn't take off her coat since Yoongi was taking her out again. You put on a beanie on yourself, as the cold chilly winter air was starting to seep into the apartment.

It was 3 in the afternoon when Yoongi knocked on your apartment door. 20 minutes after his arrival he was out the door with Nari, the duffle bag on his shoulders. 30 minutes after his arrival, he and Nari were probably in his car and you were now packing the luggage, filling it with your clothes and more of Nari's needs, folding everything into tiny pieces for more space.

You got your white tote bag and checked to see if all the things in it earlier were still inside before you slung it over your shoulder.

It had all happened so fast.

After you were done, you changed your normal brown coat into a jet black one. You changed into black slacks and a gray turtleneck, before taking off the beanie and putting your hair into a low ponytail, letting your long fringes frame your face at the sides.

You knew Jeongguk still thinks that you hate your hair up considering how much the guards knew so much about you, of course he must've told them how you always looked like.

But you were one step ahead. Jeongguk may be a CEO, business wise, but you were a mother, streetwise. You were the smart one when it comes to being sneaky, well, you're actually just really smart in general.

You were closing the lights and were about to leave the apartment, luggage in tow, when you heard a ding from your phone.

AreumUgly: got Nari

AreumUgly: *photo attached*

It was a photo of Nari and Yoongi inside your parents' living room. Nari and Janyeon were sitting on each of Yoongi's thighs as your father had his arm over the man's shoulders and your mom was smiling in the back as she was holding up a pot.

AreumUgly: Eomma's cooking dinner when we got here, you should hurry

Y/N Eonni: On my way

You stepped out and locked the apartment door. You checked your surroundings before you walked, wheeling the luggage you had and went inside the elevator.

You got out of the apartment and made sure to act natural.

The sun was setting as you walked, giving you its remaining light to make you feel safe as the sidewalk was still a bit crowded. You waited on the bus stop, adjusting your mask as the bus rolled in.

You sit on the singular seat, not wanting to be next to people.

Every moment since you walked out your apartment, you were walking on your tippy toes, observing everything and anything before moving cautiously.

You were alert, more so than usual. Ever since you became a mom, you always have to be up on your feet.

You leaned your head onto the bus' window, watching the scenery outside. You wished your life could just magically go back to normal.

Just you, your daughter, and no Jeongguk.

But fate said none of that. Here you were, a newly dyed-haired single mom on her way to her parents' town, running away from her CEO ex-boyfriend who was the father of her 3 year old.

"Y/N! My child! Oh goodness! What happened to your hair?!" Your mom rushes to you as soon as you walk in the living room. She runs her hand through your hair, looking in disbelief at your now smokey lilac hair.

"Please sit down, Eomma, I'll explain everything." You pulled in your luggage. Yoongi noticed your presence and stepped in quickly, taking the heavy suitcase from you.

You thanked him quietly, you knew he was stealing glances at your hair, but he didn't question it.

"Eomma! Hair!" Nari screams as you step into the living room, rushing to you.

She pulled you down by your hand and started to run her hands through your soft silver locks, making you chuckle. You pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her forehead as you wrapped your arms around her tiny frame.

"You're safe now, baby. Mommy missed you, though." You pulled back and pouted playfully at your daughter, making her giggle and kiss your cheek.

You smiled tiredly and stood up as Nari went back to play with Janyeon in his room.

"What do you mean safe? Y/N, what's going on?" Your father asks you as you finally sit on the couch. You sighed and looked at the two toddlers, making sure they were busy with playing.

Yoongi sat next to you while your parents and sister sat in front of you both.

"Jeongguk, he knows I'm still here." Yoongi's brows jumped and he leaned in.

"How?" He asks softly, noticing how shaken up you were.

You feel your eyes glisten with unshed tears, and when Yoongi puts his hand on your thigh like he always does, that's when you burst into tears. He quickly wraps his arms around your shaking frame and comforts you.

"Nari and I went out to eat for lunch, then when we were walking, you know the wide s-street where all the large corporate buildings were?" You try to say as you hiccup, Yoongi's hand rubbing your back. They all nod and wait patiently for you to continue.

"There were press everywhere, apparently J-Jeongguk was there t-too, he saw me and N-Nari, so I picked up Nari and ran. He s-sent guards a-after us, so I-I ran through different streets and I avoided crosswalks, when I lost them, I ran b-back to the apartment, but they arrived as soon as I locked the d-door." You sobbed into Yoongi's shirt, feeling the man press a kiss onto your head as he shushed you.

"That's why you wanted Nari out of the building." Your sister says in realization. You nod and sniffle before continuing.

"One of his guards called him and they spoke literally in front of my door. He told t-them to have the building under surveillance. They were roaming o-outside my hallway when they mentioned my name." You slowly calmed down as Yoongi continued to ease your shaking body.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned down to wipe your tears onto the sleeve of his shirt, knowing he wanted you to do it. That's how he knows you're calming down.

"Did they see what you looked like?" Your mom asks, making you shake your head as an answer.

"No, but they know my hair color and what my coat looked like." They all nod, now knowing why you had suddenly changed your hair, and why you weren't wearing your favorite brown coat.

"Oh my Y/N, you must've been so shaken up. Let me make you tea, okay? Try to relax. You and Nari can stay here as long as you need." Your mom stood up and kissed your forehead, you nod and watched her go to the kitchen.

You felt Yoongi's arms tighten around you, pulling you closer than before. You looked at him and saw him looking down on the floor.

"I'm going to kill that bastard." He says in gritted teeth.

"I'm bailing you out if you ever do." Your father quips angrily, making you and your sister let out a laugh a little. You leaned back as your father stood up as well, following after your mom to finish making dinner.

"I'll go check on the kids, you should calm down first, Eonni." Your sister says as she left you and Yoongi both on the couch, going into the kids' room and closing the door after.

Yoongi leans back with you, now resting on the couch as his arms are still wrapped around you. You sighed and closed your puffy eyes as he ran his hands through your hair, admiring how the color suits your complexion completely.

"Your hair suits you." He says softly. You smile and leaned closer till your forehead was now onto his shoulder.

"Really? I thought brown was my superior hair color?" You say in giggles, finally calming down as your breathing returns to normal. He airily chuckles.

A moment of comfortable silence looms over the both of you, before he speaks again.

"Am I forgiven though?" He says as he leans back to look into your red eyes. You studied his face a bit before nodding. He sighs in relief and smiles at you.

"But we're just friends now." As soon as you said those words his smile faltered. His brows furrowed and he looked at you before laughing.

"You're kidding. You're still my girlfriend, you're just getting back at me." He said and he shook his head, laughing airily again.

You felt your eyes glisten again, your silence making him look at you in all seriousness, disbelief and heartbreak written all over his perfect face.

"Y/N, no. Please no." He said as he saw that you were serious.

He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

You shook your head as tears fell down your cheeks once again.

His own tears cover his cheeks as well as he sobs, shoving his face into your shoulder as you both cry. He shakes under your hands, body rocking as his sobs escape him.

You pull him back, seeing his face red and blotched with tears. You wiped them with both of your hands before he caught yours in his, intertwining them.

"Y/N, please don't do this to me. I can't lose you. I can't lose both you and Nari. P-Please, I love you and I need you both. Y-You're my family, I—" His own sobs cut him off, making him bury his face into your shoulder again.

You shush him, crying silently as you comfort him the same way he did to you earlier.

"You were right, oppa, it's better this way." You comfort him, holding him as he shakes his head.

"I wasn't mad at you, baby, I was just s-stressed from work, I-I didn't mean to take it out on you, I didn't mean to say all those, I'm sorry, Y/N. P-Please, don't leave me." He cries into your shoulder.

"Oppa, I still love you even if we're not together. You're someone I know I can count on. I trust you. You're my best friend." You assure him as you rub his back, not wanting to cry anymore.

As much as it pains you to do this, you knew you had to. It would save you and Yoongi from future heartbreak. You love him, wanted to be with him and marry him, probably have more kids. You can see a future with him. But this was the right thing to do.

Focusing on Nari was your top priority. Maybe when the time was right, you and Yoongi could have a chance.

And if that time comes, you hope you're ready to love him with all of your heart again.

"Y/N, I love you. Don't do this to me." He begs you as he looks up from your shoulder, shaking hands coming to hold your face. You shook your head and smiled at him, feeling your heart ache.

"You know I love you forever, whether you're my best friend or my boyfriend or even my enemy, right?"

He nods and leans his forehead against yours, shutting his eyes as he cries silently.

"You know you're still an important person in my life?" He nods again.

"That will never change, Yoongi."

Your parents watched you both from the kitchen, your sister was also watching you both from the crack of the door.

They love Yoongi and treat him as if he was your husband, a member of the family. And seeing you both like this, it broke their hearts.

It broke yours.

"Eomma, sing?" Nari asks as you finally lay next to her on the bed in your old room. Yoongi lays on her other side as he drapes an arm around her torso, cuddling both of you to him.

He didn't want to drive all the way back home, your family also insisted he stayed here for the night. It was also technically still Nari's birthday, so you let him.

You scoot closer, wrapping an arm around her torso as well and you sighed. You closed your eyes and started to pat her thigh, lulling her to sleep just like every night as you started to sing.

"Hoping for more good days

If you believe me then say one, two, three

If you believe then say one, two, three

Hoping that everything will change when we say..."

You trailed off, waiting for Nari to say the next words. When you heard nothing, you opened your eyes and saw that both Yoongi and your daughter had their eyes closed. You smiled and kissed their foreheads before lying back down and closing your eyes.

"You're still the singer I fell in love with." Was the last thing you heard from Yoongi before sleep took over you.

Ring! Ring!

Came from your phone making you jolt awake. You looked at your wall clock near the door. 3:12 midnight. It seemed fairly dark outside, the moon was the only light coming from the window.

You were annoyed, disturbed from your sleep, because of being a light sleeper, it peeved you. You untangle yourself from the two sleeping people, grumbling as they were moved. You looked at them and saw that Nari was now all snuggled up into Yoongi's chest and Yoongi was hugging her.

Well, that's one good sight to see waking up. You smiled and leaned over to the bedside table.

You picked up your ringing phone without looking at the caller id, grumbling as you tried to wipe the sleep off your eyes.

"Who is this? Don't you know that it is very rude to call in the middle of the night? People have to sleep, you know." You snapped at the phone.

"Y/N? Is Yoongi there with you?" Jin's voice rang through your ears as he talked. You then quickly apologized and said yes.

"Y/N, listen carefully, if you're at the apartment, you have to leave now, Jeongguk—" Jin's voice got cut off as another contact was now calling your phone. You sighed in annoyance.

Why is everyone calling in the middle of the night?!

You click hold and answer before talking.

"Hello? If this is someone I know, I'm trying to sleep, can you gu—"

"I'm going to find you Y/N." An oh so familiar voice talks, cutting you off in complete silence. You almost dropped your phone in shock.

"Who are you? How did you get my number?" You tried not to stutter and remain calm. You knew who it was, you just wanted him to think that you didn't know any of his plans yet.

"Still naive you are, I see." He chuckles. Your nervousness was now replaced with anger, but you didn't let your emotions get the best of you.

You gripped your phone in your hands as you open your mouth to speak.

"Listen here, kid, I don't know who the fuck you are or what kind of prank call you're doing, I'm a mom and I could beat the literal fuck out of you if I wanted to but I'm smarter than that. If you ever try to harm me or anyone I love, you're gonna have to face me and my lawyer in court, dipshit. So stop calling me, you fucking weirdo." You snapped at the phone and ended the call before he had the chance to answer.

You looked at the screen and noticed Jin already ended the call and just sent text messages. You sighed in exhaustion, feeling the adrenaline flow out of you as quick as it came. You ignored them, planning to read and answer them all in the morning.

You laid back down on the bed, and as soon as Yoongi's arms wrapped over your torso, you quickly fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Jeongguk was in his room at the dorm, sitting on the chair of his desk as he stared at his phone in pleasant surprise.

Who would've known you had it in you to be a bad bitch?

He rarely ever heard you cuss before, he only saw you angry twice and it was a scary sight. When you were around them or when you two were alone, you have always been an innocent good girl.

Maybe he had underestimated his knowledge about you. He was the naive one to think that after all these years you wouldn't have changed one bit.

He was so wrong. He was now starting to doubt himself, doubt his plans to find you and bring you back. But he knew one thing for sure.

He wasn't going to stop. He was going to find you, no matter how long it takes.

And meet the little one that he so badly wanted to know who's the father of.

Author’s Note:

supportive reader:

AAAAAAA IT IS FINALLY TUESDAY SO HERE *gently puts chapter 3 onto your dashboards* ok so the next chapter will be in a more past timeline so no yearly flashbacks to Nari and Jeongguk's birthday ;(

but I hope you all enjoyed seeing Nari's past birthdays in the meantime :)

Jeongguk acting like this is creepy but uhm a bit hot? Wtf im so fcukedup anyways

so sorry for the unrealistic hair color scene i know that achieving a light lilac hair tone in one day is nearly impossible with virgin dark hair but since it's fiction i say whatever happens happens heheheehehheehheheheheheheeh

Also So Sad we aren't going to see YoonY/N anymore

:( or are we? O.o

Taglist: @imanerdychubbyqueen @softiegguk @fan-ati--c @theblueslytherin @tigolebittiez @mwitsmejk @babyrosieareroses @awseokjin @ppeachyttae @000123-sakuraland-000123 @mwitsmejk @placeoftime​ @singingmangoes @yvesismywife​ @rjsmochii​ please make sure your mentions are open so I can tag you!

send in an ask to be added to the Tough taglist!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! LIKE AND REBLOG :)

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➸ Rated All

➸ Summary: Blind Dates suck, but maybe they aren’t so bad when the guy who shows up is Jeon Jungkook. Add mistaken identities and Hockey...

➸ Word count: 2K

➸ Pairing: JK x reader

➸ Genre: Fluff

➸ Warnings: One curse word.

AN: Sorry, don’t want to spoil the surprise, so the summary is terrible.  I saw this story on an instagram reel, and just HAD to write it for JK.

________________________________

You HATE blind dates. Hate with every fiber of your being.

And you aren't the kind of girl who even uses that word very often.

But it was the expectations. The unknown. It was your need to always be early to any engagement, only to find it to be a detriment with blind dates. I mean, what if he arrives after you and sees you and decides to tuck tail and run? So you pace your living room, checking your watch to make sure you don’t leave too early, only to arrive with only a minute to spare and worried he will have already left because you weren’t right on time. You knew it was all probably unfounded worry, but that sure didn’t stop you from thinking it.

And yet here you sat at a table for two, by yourself, with your hair done, nails done, and even in makeup, waiting on a stranger who you’ve never met or seen before in your life. 

It was all because of Jess, your ride or die best friend since college who told you you just HAD to meet her hot friend. He is well dressed, well mannered, and works at the same firm as her, so she knows he is also financially stable. While you would normally shun the lawyer type, especially when you heard all the lewd things Jess’s coworkers would say to her on a regular basis, she claimed he was one of the good ones: polite, kind, and safe - just what you needed. Her words, not yours.

It had been 6 months since your ex broke your heart, and while you had moved on, you weren’t quite ready for steady dating again, but to appease your friend you agreed to the date.

So here you are, once again: sat at a table for two. It was 5 past the agreed time to meet and you’d been here 10. The waiter keeps asking if you want to order anything, and you keep saying no as you sip quietly on your water and tap your feet to calm the jitters.

You had already texted Jess and she said he was probably coming straight from court and not to worry, but after 20 minutes of constantly glancing up to the door to see if some handsome stranger was coming through, you finally felt tears prick in your eyes thinking you were going to have to take the walk of shame soon.

You’d finally resigned yourself to your fate and had just huffed a heavy sigh and slouched back in your seat, when the chime above the door dinged as another patron came in the door. This one alone and very male.

You sat up in your chair to take him in fully in his crisp black on black suit, tailored to perfection, over his lithe yet well defined muscles. His hair was brushed back, exposing an undercut and showing off his jawline (carved by the Gods) and his pretty eyes that seemed to sparkle in the light. He brought the October breeze in with him, which fluttered his hair, leaving one loose strand across his forehead, and as he looked around the room, you realized, this must be it. 

Dang, Jess did not prepare you for this guy. He was easily the hottest man you had ever seen in your life. With your nerves getting the better of you, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and waited patiently for him to notice you. Sat alone. Waiting for your date. The over 20 minutes he made you wait, meaning nothing at this point.

As your hand brushed your hair, his eyes found you and he almost did a double take, which had your cheeks turning pink and your goofy smile appearing. He scanned you from head to toe and then slowly, too slowly, made his way toward you with a huge bunny toothed smile on his face that had you nearly fainting by the time he reached your table.

“Is this seat taken?” He asks, placing his hand on the seat across from you. And up close he is no less intimidatingly hot.

You shrug and say, “it is now,” in a voice you didn’t expect yourself to be capable of when so thoroughly disheveled by this Adonis.

As he sits, he scans the room again, like he’s trying to assess his surroundings, as if he wasn’t the one who picked the restaurant. You found it endearing though, because you had done the same thing when you arrived. It was something that gave you a chance to get your bearings, when you went somewhere new.

“You come here often?” He said in an ironic flirtatious voice that broke the tension and had you smiling, much more at ease with the casual way he crossed his arms in front of him on the table and leaned in as if to speak conspiratorially with you. You decided to play along and leant forward as well to almost whisper with him.

“Never been here in my life.”

“Interesting. And here all alone…? Haven’t even ordered anything yet…?” He indicated the menu and water sitting in front of you.

“I was waiting for you.”

His eyebrows shot up and it was then you noticed the piercing in his right eyebrow that had you salivating instantly. You didn’t even know you had a thing for piercings, but apparently you do now!

Seeming to have missed your sudden crisis, he looked you up and down again, taking in everything from your simply styled hair, to your bright lipstick and pristinely pressed cocktail dress, and licked his lips.

“Well, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting then.”

“All’s forgiven.”

You smiled and he smiled back. The waiter came up to the table then, looking happy to finally see a second person join the table. You both agreed on a bottle of wine and before you knew it he was quizzing you about your life and attentively listening like no man had ever done before. He asked you about your job, and actually seemed interested and told you he found successful people attractive (which made you blush). He asked about your family and your friends and what you did when you weren’t saving the world (a joke he made after hearing what you did for a living). He was sweet and kind and humble, even with a face that could drop panties. It was so hot that you made a mental note to text your bestie later to thank her.

Everything was going swimmingly and you were so completely sucked in to talking to this engaging, sweet, handsome man that you didn’t even notice when another man, dressed similarly, but not nearly as tailored walked up to the table and said your name.

“It is y/n, right?”

“Huh?” You asked dumbly as you looked back and forth between the two men. The one you had been speaking with was lazily sitting back in his seat with his arms crossed, taking everything in with a smirk, and the one standing was holding a phone and looking back and forth between it and you.

“It looks like you,” he said as he turned the phone showing a picture of yourself. “Jess sent me this so I’d know who I was meeting.”

The name of your friend had you snapping out of your stupor. “Chan?” you asked as the guy standing at your table began to nod his head, while he looked scathingly at the guy across from you.

If this guy was your date (your face instantly heated up) then who was this guy you’d been talking to?

He had been kind, sweet, he seemed to know exactly what to say when. You had assumed that Jess coached him on your likes and dislikes, because as far as you could tell, he was your exact right match. He liked the same kinds of movies and books as you, he had similar opinions, and the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts. You and Chan both looked at him in disbelief, though with much different motivations (one in awe, one in affront).

“I guess that is my cue to leave,” he said as he stood up, rebuttoning his suit jacket and looking like a complete snack. He waved to the back of the restaurant where an elderly man, dressed similarly, was sitting and waving back. At least, it wasn’t a girl.

What were you saying?…he wasn’t even your date!

His hand on the table in front of you as he leaned into your line of vision brought your attention back to his face. He had moved since you last were facing his direction and now stood on the opposite side of the table as Chan and was leaning down into your line of vision with his sparkly big brown eyes closer than they had yet been tonight. And they were not disappointing.

“If this,” he waves toward Chan, “Ends up going poorly,” he nodded his head down toward the table where you saw him setting down a ticket. 

He left the rest of the insinuation open ended, just simply smiled and winked before he walked off toward his actual table.

“Wow,” Chan said, bringing your attention away from the gorgeous man and back to him just in time to see him taking up the seat the other man had just left. “Some guys have no class. Couldn’t he see you were here on a date?”

A date that was…you checked your watch…almost 50 minutes late, but you decided not to mention it and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

For the next hour, you sat and talked with Chan and had a good time. You have to admit. He had apologized for being late, supplying the exact excuse that Jess had predicted. And he was sweet and smart and funny and you might have even considered going out with him again when he mentioned it as you were saying goodbye outside the restaurant.

Any other day. Any other day where he had been on time and you hadn't met Mystery Fake Date man, then you might even now be saving Chan’s number in your phone. But you were already thinking of that ticket that your mystery man gave you. It was a ticket to a hockey game where your local NHL team was playing their known rivals, and it was later this week. 

By the time game day rolled around, the “what ifs” were eating you alive and you couldn’t let that one chance encounter be your only chance to see him, so you decided to go.

You hadn’t been to a hockey game since you were a kid and your dad took you, but you had always liked the sport, so you figured why not. Jess had been flabbergasted claiming she couldn’t believe you of all people, the painfully cautious over-planner, was actually being so spontaneous and romantic, but what else were you going to do? You hadn’t gotten Mystery Man’s number and you didn’t even know his name. This was your only shot.

He must have made one hell of a first impression, Jess had said. You have no idea, you had responded.

So here you were, in very similar circumstances to earlier that week. Though the venue, clothes and ambiance were drastically different, you once again found yourself seated alone, as the seat for Mr. Fake Date was empty. He was late. It was already time for the team to come out on the ice to sing the National Anthem. How you managed to end up waiting on a late date, once again, was beyond you, but you were starting to get annoyed.

You had just resigned yourself to have fun no matter what. It wasn’t every day you got to go to a hockey game, so you would enjoy yourself regardless of your date.

And then it happened.

The team came out on the ice, circling the ice like dancers in skates and the music had switched to the announcers as they began calling out the lineup for the game. As each player was announced, they slapped their face up on the jumbotron, and you lazily glanced between the ice and the jumbotron until the announcer said the name “Jeon. Jungkook” and the arena erupted in hoots and hollers.

And as you glanced to the screen to see this player who was obviously so well liked, you were staring back at the smiling face and big bright brown eyes of your Mystery Man. He seemed to be intently staring out at the stands, and as you turned to see where he was on the ice, you realized he was looking directly at you. His smile was infectious and you felt your cheeks redden.

Your Fake Date hadn’t invited you to watch the game, he invited you to watch him PLAY.

——-

Part 2 out now: Not-So-Date Date https://kmpac.tumblr.com/post/674821470257610752/rated-all-summary-after-the-oddest-blind-date

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➸ Rated All

➸ Summary: After the oddest blind date scenario you could have possibly imagined, you find yourself at the hockey game with the ticket your fake blind date gave you. As the game progresses, you learn a little bit more about THE Jeon Jungkook.

This is part 2 of Fake Blind Date, which you can read here: Fake Blind Date If you haven’t already, I suggest reading that first.

➸ Word count: 3K

➸ Pairing: Hockey Player!JK x reader

➸ Genre: Fluff

➸ Warnings: Sweaty JJK.

AN: I was so overwhelmed by the positive feedback from FBD and it really encouraged me to put this together. I really want to see where this goes, because I think it is a fun concept. My husband is a former hockey player, so he helped me with some of the scenarios for this (he’s the one who said “that dude is way too little to be a hockey player”, but I did my research and there are active players in hockey right now that are exactly JKs size, so I told my husband to shove it). Please enjoy sweaty smiley JK!

_____

Jungkook hadn't been expecting to find you when he had been called to meet his agent at the Le Chez Restaurant for a PR follow up and discussion of endorsement deals. He had come straight from a Press Conference in his best suit: black, of course (was there another color?) So he had been appropriately dressed for such a restaurant, even though it wasn't really his scene. He was more the Dive Bar, Draft on Tap, Sit at the Bar kind of guy, but his Agent liked the finer things, so he hadn't batted an eye when he suggested it for the meeting.

What had surprised him when he came in with a gust of wind at his back was you sitting all alone, sipping a glass of water with both hands wrapped around it, with tears in your eyes. You were hard to miss when he entered as you were straight ahead of the door, almost as though you had planned it that way, and you were incredibly pretty, besides. Jungkook wasn't much of a womanizer, like many of his teammates. He tended to be a bit quieter, and was more the long term dating type of guy. A romantic - his mom always said. So when he immediately connected eyes with you and felt an electric current go through his whole body at the shy smile you sent his way, he was hooked before he even processed the thought.

He would have just asked you for your number when he approached your table, but he was so curious to know why you looked about ready to cry that he never even got the words out of his mouth before he realized that you had been expecting someone and had mistakenly assumed he was it. He was used to people recognizing him, so he never even thought it possible that you would mistake him for someone else. By the time he realized the mistake, he was so deep into enjoying your time that he hadn't even noticed his agent entering the restaurant, let alone thought to correct you of your misconception of his identity.

When your date arrived and interrupted the conversation, he actually felt regretful and, regardless of how long his agent would have waited, he would have kept the ruse going for hours if he could, just to keep talking to you. Giving you the ticket to the game was a reflex. Ever since his career as a professional Hockey Player started, he'd gotten used to people asking for tickets to games, so he always kept spares on him. He liked having an audience, being a natural performer, and it was exciting knowing that the people watching were there just for him.

He wasn't sure if you would actually show or not. He hadn't had time to explain, and couldn't be sure if you would be annoyed or intrigued by him, but he hoped for the latter. It had made it incredibly difficult to listen to his agent for the rest of his meeting when you were looking adorable during your date, as you constantly flung your beautiful hair back over your shoulder.

So when game day arrived, he was a bit anxious, and asked one of the members of staff to keep an eye out on seat K15 in section 200 and to let him know if someone took the seat.

He was adjusting his laces and was just about to get up to grab his stick when the staff member came back to let him know that you, in fact, had arrived. He was beyond overjoyed and a bundle of energy, not only because of the game, but because of the excitement of seeing you again and getting to see your face when you realized who he was.

And he hadn't been disappointed.

You were currently looking his way with a confused, flushed look on your face. Even from this distance, you could tell he knew you were surprised and he seemed to be enjoying it as he skated backward with a dazzling look on his face. Cheeky.

It had certainly come as a surprise that your gorgeous Fake Date Man had turned out to be a professional Hockey Player. And not just any hockey player, but the ace of the team. You knew nothing about THE Jeon Jungkook when you walked in tonight, but by the end of the game, the other patrons around you made sure you knew him by the end. Number 1 All Around Draft Pick, Leading Scorer in the League for 3 years running, and the most assists AND points this season on the team. He was a Legend in the making, the guy two seats down from you told you. He had endless nicknames too. They called him Golden Boy, because he was apparently good at everything. Not only was he the primary center, but he could sub in any position, even goalie. They called him Lightning on the Ice, because he was so fast and so strong, he could be down the ice and scoring before you could blink. He was tiny by comparison to most other Hockey Players, but he used it to his advantage.

And in the course of the game, you definitely got an eye full.

You couldn’t help it. Even his sweat was hot. And every time he made an incredible play or scored, he’d have this gorgeous baby boy smile on his face that had your heart stuttering. It didn’t help that the Jumbotron would splash his face on the screen as often as they could and so you got an eye full of his sparkly eyes and pearly white bunny teeth every few plays throughout the entire game. By the end, he wasn’t the only one sweating.

But it had you feeling pretty inadequate - you weren’t going to lie. You hadn’t been on the dating scene much and you were never a knock out, just a regular girl, you thought. So why was this famous, super sexy, super hot PROFESSIONAL AND RICH HOCKEY PLAYER giving you the time of day?

No idea.

But you didn’t have much time to wonder, because by the end of the game (Jungkook’s team won 3 to nil), you found yourself being approached by a member of staff.

“Ma’am?” Said the older man, holding a clipboard with a headset on, chewing gum with the whole force of his jaw.

You pointed to yourself when you realized he was talking to you.

“Yes, you,” he said, waving you toward him. “Follow me.”

You grabbed your things and said bye to the other fans you had made friends with during the game, and started to follow the man with the clipboard. He proceeded you into the tunnel and out into the main hall surrounding the rink. He walked pretty fast and the crowd was already starting to build from all the fans preparing to leave, so it wasn’t really possible to start a conversation, but you really wanted to know where he was taking you.

“Um, sir?” You practically yelled as you sprinted to keep up with him as he weaved through the crowd. “Where are we going?”

“The Press Lounge,” he said simply. “I don’t care what Jeon says, I’m not taking you to the Locker Room. That would start a media frenzy. Amazingly enough, the Press Lounge is the least suspicious place right after a game.”

“I’m sorry what?” you said as you struggled to keep up. You must have heard wrong. “Why am I going anywhere?”

He was nearly to a side door labeled “staff”, when he turned around to look at you confused and a bit incredulous, which had you faltering.

“I mean, it was nice of… Mr. Jeon to give me a ticket to watch the game, but I mean…I…”

What did you mean? You had no idea how to finish your sentence. You didn’t expect anything else from him? This hadn’t been your idea? Somehow in front of this older man smacking his gum and looking lazily over his shoulder, you wanted to to be clear that you weren’t some kind of groupie or something. You didn’t even know who he was when you first met him, for goodness sake!

Luckily, you were saved from having to finish your sentence, as clipboard guy got bored and turned back around to swing open the door to a kind of “backstage” area. It was so quiet you could hear the hinges of the door creak as you entered and he was walking so fast you barely had time to register the offices and filming equipment behind many of the glass windowed doors lining the hallway. At the end, clipboard guy stopped at a glass enclosed room with a TV and couch and waved you toward it, making the implication clear.

You entered and sat down. The TV was playing highlights from the game, taunting you with Jungkook’s handsome face once again. But otherwise the room was quiet and the hallway was deserted. You checked your watch and played a mobile game for a while as you waited, but eventually the TV switched to an interview with some of the players and while it didn’t originally hold your interest, the sound of a familiar voice had your head whipping up in a flash.

There he was, still in most of his gear from the game, sat behind 5 microphones with a press screen behind him in powder blue. His hair was drenched in sweat and he kept running his hand through his hair to keep it out of his face. His TATTOOED hand. You don’t remember that detail from the other night…Good God. And he was smiling like a little boy, while looking like anything but. He was going to kill you; you were sure of it.

“Jeon, today’s goal marks your 10th this season, more than any other player in the league. How do you keep up the same kind of intensity game in and game out?” The interviewer off screen asked.

“It’s all a team effort. We practice hard, we play hard, and we just keep the intensity going. Anything is possible when you’ve got the kind of team work we’ve got.”

“But Debow said himself, you are a future Hall of Famer, what does that mean to you?”

“I’m just here to play Hockey, man,” Jungkook said with a side smile and a giggle that had the Press Room laughing and you practically panting. “Listen, I take this very seriously, and I want to win every game, but I’m like that because I know I’ve got people relying on me, just like I’m relying on them. We’re a team and we can’t win games without us all out there, so my focus is to stay healthy and in shape so I can do my part.”

The chorus of shouts from the Press rang out as you saw a sea of hands in the air in front of Jungkook. He called on one to the right and you caught the profile of a middle aged man as he held up a pen-waving hand.

“You guys are already being touted as the League favorites to win the Stanley Cup this year. What do you think your chances are of winning the coveted award after being denied in playoffs last season?”

“We’ve got some tough games ahead of us in the next few weeks. Phillie will be a tough one next week on the road, and Montreal will definitely give us a run for our money, but we will do like we always do: limit distractions and keep our noses to the ice. Stanley Cup is the goal, and we will do everything we can to get there this year.”

By the time the interview was over, your cheeks were practically sore from smiling so much. If anything, you were even more intrigued by this humble king. Could he be any more perfect? God. His sweat probably even smells like candy. Rude.

It was with that thought that you suddenly heard a door open in the distance, and you barely had time to prepare before you saw the silhouette of a man further down the hall and before you knew it Jeon Jungkook was facing you from further down the hall as you stood from the couch and began playing with your hair to give yourself something to do. His eyes were glued to you and his smile was infectious as he made his way toward the glass enclosed room you were in all alone. By the time he was at the door swinging it open with more force than necessary, you were practically shaking and your face was probably a tomato. It was a miracle you could even make eye contact, especially as his confident stare was doing things to you.

“Uh, hi,” he said and laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair in what was clearly a nervous tick. “So, uh…surprise…?” he said almost in a question as he scratched the back of his head.

He was still in his jersey and pads, but he had swapped his skates for slides, and it should have been silly looking, but you were practically drooling instead. He really had you at a disadvantage.

“It certainly was a surprise!” You responded, probably louder than necessary, but your voice felt unused at this point.

You coughed to clear away the jitters, and he smiled at your flustered reaction.

“I wanted to get the chance to apologize for the other night.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not used to people not knowing who I am.”

“Oh.”

His hand was back in his hair and the nervous look was back on his face as he rushed to clarify, “I only mean that…I hadn’t meant to trick you or anything. I wasn’t trying to lie to you.”

You nodded your head and tucked your hair behind your ear in your own nervous tick. He clearly had more to say as his hand was extended out toward you in a gesture of appeasement and he had a desperate look in his eyes. You waited patiently for him to continue, looking up at him through your lashes in shyness.

“I honestly just wanted to talk to you. You stole my attention from the second I walked into that restaurant, and I didn’t even care if I looked like an idiot, I just had to talk to you.”

Your face was heating up at his confession and he was taking steps toward you as he seemed to read your willingness to listen.

“And then you seemed to know me, so I just followed along. It took me a while to figure it all out, but then I was just really enjoying your company and didn’t want to leave. Did you feel it too?”

Being asked the question came as a surprise to you and you gulped as you responded with a nod. He let out a relieved sigh in response.

“Thank God it wasn’t just me!”

He took another step toward you and the air in the space seemed to get heavier as you could almost feel the heat from his body at the new proximity. You tilted your head back to be able to look him in the eye. His big doe eyes were just as beautiful as they’d been in that restaurant. His dark hair was messy and wet. There was a trail of sweat down the side of his face. None of it mattered, nor did your reservations and feelings of inadequacy. Despite everything, or maybe because of everything, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him at that exact moment.

“We’ve got an away game coming up in a few days, and then I’ll be pretty busy coming up with playoffs on the horizon, but I mean…What do you think?” He asked, drawing your attention away from his lips and your desperate yearnings. “Will you give me a second chance to prove myself? I’d really like to take you on an actual date, if you’d let me.”

You felt your heartbeat speed up. The excitement of the possibilities take a full hold on you before you even try to answer. Here was an oxymoron of a man. Cute, yet unbelievably sexy. He could convince you of anything with his big doe eyes, but his body was sinful. You couldn’t deny the magnetism you felt the first time you met him and it wasn’t any less now. He was confident and strong and seemed very aware of his own importance as one of the best Hockey Players in the sport. Why else would he have invited you to the game, except to show off a bit? And yet he talked in interviews like he wasn’t full of his own importance, and he seemed shy and unsure when talking to you, and you were very aware of your own nobody status, especially when faced with THE Jeon Jungkook. He was kind in the restaurant, being patient with responses you gave, listened attentively, and asked questions - like he really cared! But he wasn’t lacking in his own observations and shared just as much. He was a perfect blend of good qualities. And while you knew that the ugly qualities would show themselves eventually. I mean, no one is without fault, even this seemingly perfect paragon. But you found yourself more interested to discover them, than you were afraid of them.

You smiled sweetly, which caused him to smile in hope. He almost seemed breathless. You giggled at his seeming eagerness.

“What did you have in mind?”

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