Jungkook Crack - Tumblr Posts

—IM WHEEZING CUZ HE REALLY STANDS THERE 💀💀😭

jungkook is the human version of 🧍

drabble series # 1 the five-year plan

the five-year plan . masterlist

you've always had a very strict life plan. when you were twenty you sat down and made your five-year plan, you would get married, get your dream house, have your dream career and then at the end of those five years you'd have a kid. everything was going perfectly to plan, well until your husband came home with divorce papers. now you're somehow trying to stay on track, maybe you could convince your best friend to have a baby with you?

pairing: best friend! jungkook x reader

general warning/tags for the series: non-idol!au, reader just got divorced, idiots to lovers, slow burn, unprotected sex, ovulation horny, iykyk, family drama, in law drama, ex-husband drama, just drama all around, domestic fluff, we didn't know that we were in a relationship, co-parenting, dramatic confessions, more tags to come.

playlist | taglist | main masterlist

decide what happens next. ( poll is running until oct 8 )

— the one where you want a baby and jungkook is confused

— the one where you want to ask namjoon and jungkook does not get jealous.

— the one where you get divorced and jungkook is here to stay

— the one where you're persistant and jungkook isnt thinking about it.

— the one where you think about things logically and decide to do it anyways.

— the one where you finally try for a baby and you’re both feeling a little awkward.

— the one where you're not pregnant and jungkook is frustrated.

[♡] You looked one more time at your phone just to see if you had missed amy other important message but found absolutely nothing. jungkook had called you last minute and told you to get up from bed and wait for him at your doorstep because he was on his way. that was almost an hour ago. the slightly cold breeze was starting to annoy you since you weren't properly dressed for the night and you were pretty sure your doorman was starting to think you were crazy because you hadn't moved one inch ever since you got down from your apartment.

just as you started to doze off the loud and annoying noise of a motorbike's engine woke you up. next thing you know, jungkook is setting one feet on the ground and taking a helmet of his head, the angle providing you a great view of his neck veins and his soft silky black hair.

"seriously?" you asked. completely unamused. he spent the last few months talking about getting a bike, but you were almost sure he wasn't going to..

"hey baby!" he exclaims happily in a cheery tone. "like my new toy?" just as he finished his question he changed his teasing smile to one of his many dorky expressions. how could you not love him?

"i am not getting on that, i'm telling you right now."

left on read // jjk

it’s a good day to save lives and a beautiful day to ruin his.

+ 

as surgeons, who has time for friends or love? at all costs, jungkook is determined to prove otherwise.

navi | m. list | ask me ! | add yourself to my taglist !

pairing: jungkook + oc

au/genre: enemies to friends to lovers?? hospital au, crack, grumpy/overachiever oc, social butterfly/annoying jungkook!!!

warnings: an unhealthy amount of needing the validation of others, competitive dynamics, and explicit language

parts: 30 / 30 (02/14/22)

note: tbh this fic was planned before casual (ToT)” it’s ok. we’re here now kekeke. pls enj this series! + welcome back to my sad attempt of consistent updates !!! 

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casual // jjk

while everyone on campus has their eyes on bangtan’s frat boys, the boys have their eyes set on yn. she’s a mini fashionista, has a small boba addiction, and is completely unaware of just how much these boys love her.

+

after a romantic moment between jungkook and yn, chaos and tension arise between good friends.

navi | m. list | ask me ! | add yourself to my taglist !

pairing: jungkook + oc

au/genre: idiots to lovers, bts college fuckboys / fratboys, slow pining, love triangle, crackhead energy, angst if you’re a crybaby, social media au + written scenes

warnings: love / hate friendships, explicit language, implied smut + actual smut 

note: this social media au was originally posted by me (@/omot7) in 2020-2021. i have deactivated that account and took down this social media au. i did not like the way the original felt so rushed and unclear. however, after some thinking and ultimately feeling attached to this story, i welcome you to it’s remake ! 

index

i . (5/5) # casual jjk extras 

the meeting, the yearning; the beginning

ii . (25/25) # casual jjk

casual 

iii . (10/…) # casual jjk extras

the loving, tying loose ends; the ending 

playlist

— casual (1)

— casual (2)

copyright © 2021, muniimyg on tumblr.

This is super cute and so sweet. Jungkook is so adorable.

So You Wanna Be The Best

; Pokemon Trainer!Jungkook x Pokemon Trainer!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, crack

; Word Count: 8.1k

; Synopsis: Every Pokemon trainer has a rival, and it’s just your luck that you got stuck with your hometown nemesis Jeon Jungkook. As any good rival, he’s determined to beat you to the title of Pokemon Master and he might have a chance at both that and you…if he wasn’t so dang inept.

; A/N: So I finally hit 10k followers and I’ve had this floating around almost finished for months…so I finally finished it to say thanks! It’s nothing serious…and it’s probably not even good but…I hope you get some enjoyment out of it anyway! :) slight spoilers for Stranger Things season 2 and season 7 of Game of Thrones lol

-

Groaning quietly, you pull out the water bottle from your bag and take a deep pull. It’s a little warm from being stuck in your bag for so long and you’re beginning to run low, making you vow to drop by the PokéMart when you next get chance.

The next Mart isn’t for another half a day’s walk, though you could definitely shorten that distance if you used the fold away bicycle you’d finally invested in the other week. Blinking up at the blazing hot sun, you chew your lip lazily for a few minutes as you place your bottle firmly back onto the side of your bag.

It’s too hot to bicycle, you decide to yourself and begin to trek forward once more. Your shoes are getting a little worn out, the rubber thinning and you resolve to hit up Goldenrod City when you next get chance. The magnet train would take you there, but you’d have to reach Saffron City first.

And you’re nowhere near there.

It only takes another half an hour of walking before you’re tugging at your blue vest top, grimacing at the sight of it slowly turning transparent around your sweaty areas. Looking down at the ridiculous amount of boob sweat you’re generating under your bra, you decide to finally do something about it to try and cool down a little.

There’s no-one on the path, so you grasp the third Pokeball on your belt and press the button to expand it. “Come out Starmie!” You call and watch as a purple, multi-pointed star Pokémon appears. Letting out a little noise, it jumps around and leans backward to look up at you, red jewel glinting in the hot light.

“Hey girl, it’s really hot. Can you help me out and give me a little spray? Little! Not water gun please.” You warn, reaching a finger out to warn her. She had a mischievous temperament and was as likely to knock you flying with a water gun as she was to give you some spray.

Thankfully, she must be in a pretty happy mood as her second set of arms spins frantically while she makes a high pitched noise. Moving away from you, she leans forward slightly and a gentle spout of water erupts from her in an arc, tiny droplets falling and creating a rainbow curtain.

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kiss it better | jjk

~ COMMISSION FOR @cinnaminsvga​​ ~

✩ — pairing: jungkook x reader ✩ — genre: college/uni au, smut, cheerleader!jk, pining, borderline crack ✩ — words: 11.7k ✩ — rating: 18+ ✩ — warnings: koo takes a tumble, explicit sexual content; clothed sex, unprotected sex (not recommended), creampie, handjobs,light subby!jk, hand-holding during sex (potent), whining, thigh-riding, vaginal sex, minor hair pulling, public sex (sort of), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, light dirty talk ✩ — notes: out later than intended and a bit longer than intended !! whoops!!! i won’t/don’t charge if i go over the commissioned amount becayse that’s my bad!! but yeah. its been a hot second since i last wrote smut!! also none of my friends were awake to proofread this so….. apologies if it’s shit and has typos! its 2am! pls enjoy and lmk whast u think!!

When one goes to Kim Seokjin for advice, it’s almost guaranteed to never end well. This is something Jungkook learns quickly when he mistakenly follows treasured advice to ‘be smart’ and ‘use his assets’. He just did what he was told! Of course, the execution was a bit poor… and embarrassing. But hey, if rocking up to cheer practice in a skirt doesn’t woo your crush, what will?

masterlist | — posted; 01.03.2020

TUESDAY, SEMESTER 2 WEEK FOUR

It’s a beautiful day, the sun has just come to peak out from behind the clouds that had earlier obscured its climb from the horizon, and the grass of the Biological Sciences Library courtyard glistens with raindrops left over from the brief shower that prefaced the sun’s belated appearance. Students are finally beginning to emerge from the safety of the undercover walkways and overhangs, venturing boldly to shortcut over the grass. University life resumes, and everything falls back into its place, all as usual.

“Yah, is that Jungkook? Wait what is he—”

Well, everything except for one thing.

A red and black-clad figure slams to a stop right where two students are sitting and minding their own business outside the café attached to the back of the library—there’s no time to say hello. The table rocks dangerously on its beaten, metal leg, the impact of Jungkook’s beeline almost sending it straight to the ground if the two others weren’t already seated there to catch it.

“OW!” Jimin is never one to be quiet in his complaints, all too happy to holler his outrage at the top of his lungs. As his oldest hyung would say, no attention is bad attention. “Hey you almost jammed my fingers!”

Startled as Taehyung might have been, his focus is quickly shifted to other things. His wide eyes scan Jungkook’s panting form, taking in the clothes clinging to him like a second skin and the beet red colour of his face and ears. It’s not hard to put two and two together, but what comes out of his mouth isn’t exactly the most pressing thing he wants to ask, “Jungkook, why are you wearing the female cheer leading uniform I gave you?”

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Edging 101

Meeting the Squad | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy), feat. BTS and their gfs

Wordcount: 4.8k

Genre: crack, fluff, angst

Rating: 18+

So, @scooby-galleta sent me this request a bit ago, and now, here it is!

hi miss Dita! hope you are doing great :) congratulations on reaching your first milestone!🎉 you are a really talented lady, and you deserve the world ❤️ now, I don’t really know how the commissions and prompts works, so bare with me ok? 😅 OK, so you said to ask for something we would like to read, and you know how in jk’s steamy waters it’s mentioned the night he introduced candy to the guys? well, I really want to know more about that moment, like how was it, their thoughts and feelings during the meeting, all of that you know? and was it just the guys or the girls were there too? sorry if it’s a little weird 😬 blame it on my love for your characters, and honestly? I live for the interactions they have with each other :) also, sorry for doing this through a submission, it got super long 😳 have a nice day/night! 💖

Trigger warnings: allusive jokes and comments, alcohol consumption, angst in form of TWO BIG LARGE FOOLS (one of them is actually not that large) REFUSING TO SAY THEY’RE HEAD OVER HEELS FOR EACH OTHER WITH ONE OF THEM BEING A VERY VERY STUPID DUMBASS KEEPING SECRETS. The maknae line is a flock of manaces and there’s another pair of fools who is actually trying to deal with their issues. Guess who’s who. TaexLace are intimidating and YoongixKitten are parental. The Soulmates are two gossips. NamjoonxVixen are full-time honeymooning (tho they aren’t actually on their honeymoon).

almost forgot! This was beta read by my 2 favourite people, @nervous-moon and @joheunsaram. I love you, my bby 💜💜💜💖💖💖

here’s my masterlist! enjoy ✨💜

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hehehe this is so cute and fluffy and funny and everything i had a bad bad day and the giggles i let go with this are priceless hehehe im laughing rn thank you my dear

𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 || jungkook x reader

genre: crack

→ in which jungkook tastes blood whenever someone lies to him. jungkook also tastes blood when he asks his girlfriend if she's still in love with him and she says yes.

an: initially this au idea was supposed to be a long angsty au...turns out im a clown so now it is a short crack au.

introduction

part one | pinterest couple

part two | small punch

part three | sale chips

part four | no plan good plan

part five | metallic taste

part six | no vagina no privileges

part seven | the damn fish again

part eight | no fish

part nine | pal or fart dude, decide

part ten | day 1

part eleven | cut

part twelve | frickin frick

part thirteen | ok lie but why

part fourteen | big brain

part fifteen | ok but food

end

thank you for reading!

so im starting to like social media and be able to actually read it and aaaaaaaaaaa its fluff and crack and cute and dumbness all in the same page so guess what: im in lOVE

this made my heart clench during an exam and thank god u written this. cuTE

SOULMATES

"Sometimes my soulmate sings two songs at the same fucking time"

— genre: crack; humor; soulmate au

— pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: in which jungkook and y/n are soulmates and the random thoughts that occur in y/n's head are actually jungkook's thoughts, where he sometimes sings the weirdest songs.

— M a s t e r l i s t

1. the songs

2. domesticated wind

3. threatened

4. ugly rat brain

5. absolute dumbass

6. vomIT

7. i know a jeon

8. circus

9. walking sounds

10. adios cockroach

11. baby

12. soft on main

13. kinda poetic

14. wait a minute

15. babysit

16. sober brain

17. crusty ass joke

18. a clown would say

19. faint

20. in l*ve

21. a joke that's not a joke

22. throw it awAY

23. I am baby

24. soft hours

end.

thank you for reading!!