Bts Enemies To Lovers - Tumblr Posts

Want It All - Part 2

change comes in many forms. for jungkook, it's flowers, love notes, and chocolate. for you, it's the slow realization that perhaps you don't hate him the way you say you do.

» genre: fluff, angst, enemies to lovers fr!

» wc: 14k :)

Part 1 | Part 2

much to your dismay, you learn what it’s like to say no to jeon jungkook.

but not in the way you already knew. he texted nonstop. never called, he wanted it to be one-sided. he didn’t want you to think you had to reply to him until you wanted to. he left gifts for you, and your cat, which he found you were hiding in your apartment despite not being allowed to have pets.

he wrote you notes and would leave them in all kinds of places. you’d find them in school, in your desk, on your work-computer, all places you figured were easy for him to have access to. then it was your daily barista telling you a man already paid for your drink, and asked to hand you this note (then she told you your boyfriend was cute..). even sooyung was approached by him to ask about leaving a few in your apartment, and offered to hand deliver them if she was uncomfortable with doing that. she agreed to do it, but was sure to let you catch her the first time so you wouldn’t worry how he was getting them inside. (even though his note mentioned this as well, you were surprised at the lengths he’d gone to).

“really y/n, he’s doing a whollleee lot to get on your good side.”

you hummed, “yeah, i’ve noticed.”

she examines you, “then why haven’t you replied to him?”

you sigh, “i really don’t know what to do.” she looks at you and you continue, “i’m torn between wanting to tear him limb from limb because of what he did and how he’s treated me, but at the same time, if he hadn’t really changed, then why go through all these hoops to make me forgive him?” she nods. “i just, i don’t want to look like the fool again for forgiving him when he snaps out of it.”

“maybe he’s actually getting his shit together?”

you frown, “unlikely. he probably just wants back on my good side so we can continue the plan.”

she ticks her head to the side, “and? what’s wrong with that?” she chuckles, “do you want something more from him?”

you can’t rationalize why you decide to text jungkook the next morning. you hate him, that much you knew. but you were curious to know what he wanted from you. only then, you thought, could you have your closure.

he’s in the small coffee shop before you are. he flags you down, “i ordered for you, hope you don’t mind. if you don’t want it i’ll get you something else.” you look down, not surprised he remembered your drink seeing as he asked or noticed when he told the barista last time. “I’m glad you answered me, and again, i’m sorry.”

“i still don’t know if i can forgive you, but at the very least, i think we should pick up where we left off.”

he nods, “okay, you mean being friends or with the plan?”

“with the plan. lord knows trying to befriend you is a bigger waste of time than politics.”

he looks offended for a second but doesn’t comment on it. “okay, sounds fair. so, what should our next date be then?”

you hum, “what about taehyung, did you ever get back to him?”

he nods, “oh yeah! just recently, though. we’ve hung out twice one-on-one since i told him you’d been busy with work, then sick, i was running out of excuses until he told me, him and minji broke up.”

you look at him, “they broke up?” he nods, “... did he say how that went?”

he laughs, “clearly not well, or, maybe well, they’re back together now, i think.”

you chuckle, “yeah, sounds like minji.”

you spend the rest of the hour discussing plans with jungkook and waiting for taehyung to agree to it. you sit back in the cozy booth, god you love coffee shops. the place wasn’t as busy as it normally was. you’ve been here long enough to watch it move from its peak to it’s calmest.

“taehyung and minji are in.” jungkook says, pulling your attention back to him.

you nod, “okay sounds good.”

jungkook picks you up at nine that night, rather late to be bowling, but you soon realize bowling is second entertainment to drinking and socializing, to these people.

when you got there people were loosely playing, and more focused on conversation.

jungkook was not one of these people. “hope you’re not all talk kook, it’d be a shame to lose in front of not one but two, pretty ladies.”

you bare a grin towards taehyung and minji takes a seat in the half-lounge, “oh taehyung, stop it.”

he kisses her cheek then asks, “8’s for both of you?” you both nod but minji bats her eyes, “yes please!” and sends them both on their way. you sit on the other side of her, leaving three seats between you and she chuckles, “do you think i’ll bite?”

you laugh, “no, but i do.”

she finds both amusement and slight offense to you, “come on y/n, lighten up a bit. we’re just bowling.”

“so you weren’t purposefully staring me down at the bar? shit intimidation tactic, i’ll tell you.”

she guffaws sarcastically, “intimidation? why would i be trying to intimidate you?” you simply look at her as if you’re uninterested in her, “i really liked the skirt you were wearing. couldn’t help but remember how much jungkook likes skirts,” she scoots two seats closer and leans over the last, “always told me it was easy access.” you scoff at her audacity, and applaud yourself for seeing through her from the beginning, “no shame from me though! i clearly get the enticement.” she looks around, the boys are busy at the bar, ordering food and drinks, “if it was anyone else, i’d probably try to scare you off. tell you if i simply asked, i’d have him back.”

“doubt that.”

she laughs, “but i won’t, because jungkook isn’t worth it.”

your brows furrow. you hadn’t been even the slightest bit offended at anything she’d said so far, but that, that one stirred you. “what do you mean?”

she shrugs, “don’t get me wrong, he’s as close to perfect a girl could get, but c’mon, he’s a troubled guy. he’s privileged, yeah, but his dad isn’t wanting to give him the company. that pretty much depletes his value to girls like us. good for a fuck though! that's for damn sure.” she laughs.

you look at her absolutely disgusted, “god, you’re a terrible person.”

she just grins, “taehyung is the whole package. so consider jungkook, my gift to you.”

you roll your eyes, “just leave us alone and all will be well.”

“oh y/n, you’re as funny as ever.” she giggles as the boys return to your table.

jungkook hands you a drink and slides into the seat beside you, “they weren’t serving tequila so i got the next best thing.”

you sipped what he handed you and looked at him, recognizing the familiar taste, “did you make me this at your place?” he nods with a large grin, “oh yeah, i really liked this one.” you place the drink on the small table, “i have to say though,” you place your hand on his leg and stare up at him dreamily, “your’s was much better.”

he stares back at you then leans down to your ear, “i’m going to kiss you.” then as promised, his lips meet yours and his hand ghosts along your jaw.

it was a sickeningly sweet kiss, and the act doesn’t stop when your kiss ends. you have to keep this act up the entire night.

“okay, ladies first?” taehyung says. “y/n, minji? either of you want to go first?”

“oh! i will!” minji jumps up, her mini skirt moving with her legs, an outfit all too inappropriate for bowling. suddenly you remember what she said about jungkook liking skirts. you hold back the disgusted face you make as you watch minji take her first turn “awe, only two?” she pouts, grabbing her ball and re-trying, only to hit three total.

“it's okay baby, you’re just warming up.” taehyung tells her, throwing an arm around her and nuzzling into her side.

“your turn then baby.” jungkook smiles at you and you nod, picking up the ball with your entire hand, then examining it, you see the three holes but you’re still unsure so you turn to jungkook, “how do i hold this?”

he looks at you perplexed, “how do you hold, a bowling ball?” he asks, you nod. he chuckles and stands to help you, easily taking the weighted ball from your hands and turning it to demonstrate for you, “you put three fingers in like this.” he says, “i can’t, because my fingers would probably get stuck.”

he hands the ball back to you and you giggle, taking it into your hands and holding it just as he did, “haha, dirty.”

you hear him laugh behind you, “did you say that’s dirty?” you nod with a grin and he continues to chuckle, “dirty mind.” he places a hand on your back and directs you to the wooded area. “ideally, you’re gonna walk about two steps, then swing the ball back, then fourth, then let go, and ONLY let go when the ball is in front of you.”

“only let go when it’s aimed at the pins, okay.” you put yourself in a position that feels rather unnatural and jungkook sighs behind you, putting his hands around you to direct you, “relax.” he says, beside your ear. he steps away and demonstrates what he’s telling you and you copy him. “good.” he grins, “now try it.”

you take a deep breath and try to do it just as well as he showed you, but you roll yourself a loudly bouncing straight-to-the-gutter ball. you turn and pout to jungkook who’s smiling like you hit a strike on your first go. “don’t worry baby, you get one more try.”

you take the ball and do the same thing, and get the same results. you slouch back beside jungkook with a sour face, “this game sucks, no wonder i’ve never played.”

he laughs and sits up, “well, hopefully you learn by watching.” jungkook takes the ball he picked out, naturally grabbing it and walking up to the row before performing exquisite technique. he almost earns himself a spare his first turn, only missing one after splitting the first time.

you celebrate his early lead and grab his hand when he sits down. this role is actually starting to be fun. you feel like a different person, like a character. taehyung gets up to take his two turns and minji scoots over to the two of you.

“so y/n, i heard you didn’t get picked for the internship with mr.kim,” she starts, much to both you and jungkook’s dismay, “where did you end up?” she asks, no doubt she’s only asking because she thinks you had to settle for something below your level. “or better yet, who got it, if not you?”

she grins but your expression remains upbeat. “oh, funny story actually!” you direct jungkook’s hand onto your own lap and her eyes follow before going back to yours, “jungkook actually got it, who would’ve thought right? not you, surely.”

her expression changes but she keeps the fake smile, “oh really? that's great! congrats jungkook.” she grins to him. “so, if he got it, where did you end up?”

“oh! at his fathers company.” i tell her, watching in the utmost amusement as her face drops, making her completely readable.

“his dads company? but, they don’t even accept students, do they?”

you nod, “you’re right, they don’t. but they made an exception for me.” you smile achingly at her and she leans back in her seat. “clearly i made a great enough impression on his dad, he even introduced jungkook and i.” you lean into your ‘boyfriend’ when you mention him. you’re sure by his silence he’s probably shitting bricks about this conversation. you don’t blame him.

“wow!” she says, “well,” she grabs her drink, “cheers to the both of you and your success.”

“cheers to that.” you clink your glass against hers and take a sip.

“minji! you’re up!”

you look to jungkook who looks back at you with a small smile. you chuckle, “i handled that pretty well.”

he nods, “very well, i would have probably stuttered at least a little bit. she is intimidating.”

you hum, “yeah, you obviously have a type.”

he frowns at you, “what-”

“my turn again! i think i’m gonna bowl with my other hand.”

“your other hand? are you ambidextrous?” taehyung laughs, drink in hand and minji in lap.

you shrug, “maybe! i can’t get worse, it’s worth a try.”

you take your turn with your other hand and it goes much better than the last, you even manage to hit a few pins. “woo!” you put your hands in the air when you manage to knock down over half. “hell yeah!” you celebrate, double high-fiving jungkook as you sit down and switch out spots.

the rest of the night goes on much smoother than the beginning. you even think you may enjoy bowling, that is, if you continue to be good at it. because what's the fun in it when you’re not? you walk away a winner in more ways in one, not only was it an objectively great night of socializing, drinking, and jungkook winning, but you also silenced minji.

after her disgusting performance and rant about jungkook, you were more than glad to mention he was awarded mr. kim’s spot (knowing it was a strictly merit-based position, that his father couldn’t have known he was even considered for, because if his dad wanted him to intern big, he would simply take him on, and he didn’t.) and even better, that you accomplished the impossible. every girls dream, his father likes you enough to introduce you to his attractive, soon-to-replace-me son. your future is a given with these circumstances and she knows it.

your only mistake was believing she would wallow in her own defeat.

as the boys were talking and bidding their goodbyes, you checked your phone, not interested in conversing with minji anymore, but she had other plans.

“hey, y/n.”

you pause and look at her, “yeah..?”

she grins, “you know, what i said back there.” she smirks, biting her lip and looking down at your feet, “that i’d be kind enough to give him to you?”

you nod and chuckle, “let me guess, want him back now?”

she grins, “no.” you raise your brows, “want you to break up with him, as soon as possible.”

you laugh, “why on earth would i do that?”

she shrugs, “the choice is yours. give him up and spare your heart and reputation, or wait until he leaves you for me.” she says snarkily, you hold back a fit of laughs at the premise of it all. “i’m being nice, even letting you know ahead of time and not just doing what i want.”

you hum, “okay, minji.” she grins, “really?”

“for the small price of a million dollars.” you joke, her face drops.

“a million? really? i mean, it's a bit steep sure-”

“it was a joke, minji.” you tell her, temporarily forgetting who you were dealing with. that’s probably not even a fraction of what she has in her trust fund. “i’m not pimping out my boyfriend nor listening to your empty threats. get a life.”

she huffs and you almost think she’ll throw a tantrum as you walk away from her and cozy up next to jungkook, who is deep in conversation with taehyung about some niche video game. its a true shame he ended up with minji, he seems like a really great guy.

jungkook wraps his arms around you and lets taehyung finish his sentence before looking down at you, “well we should probably get going before she drags me off.” they laugh, “we should totally do this again sometime!”

you close the car door immediately and let your head fall back with a loud, exaggerated, sigh.

jungkook looks at you and chuckles, starting the car, “that bad? really?”

you look to him, “oh, no, we did great, it’s just fucking minji.” you groan and he laughs.

“yeah i may have forgotten how terrible she was.”

“she threatened me to break up with you.”

he stops the car from moving, having just begun backing out and looks at you, “she did what?”

you look at him shocked, “yeah, she said i had two options: break up with you or she’ll ‘take you’” you say with air quotes and a giggle. “i mean, god it's funny but it's just so childish and annoying.”

he looks at you wordlessly before turning his attention back to driving. he remains speechless until you’re on the road, “i’m not sure what she’ll try to do, but rest assured when she realizes she can’t bribe or manipulate me, you, or my dad, she’ll give up.”

you think, “how do you know your dad won’t like the idea of you being with her rather than me?” his father liking you so much is a factor you were riding on for this plan to work, you definitely didn’t need minji meddling to change that.

he shakes his head, “i can’t believe you’d even ask that.”

you frown, “well she comes from a good family, i don’t.”

he shakes his head, “my mom didn’t either. she humbled him, grounded him. he likes the idea that i would fall in love the same way he did.” he looks at you for a moment, “he wants me to have the life he had, before my mom left.” you realize now you’ve never questioned the different last names between him and his father.

“so is it your mother’s last name you have?” he nods calmly. “why not your fathers?”

he looks at you, “it was my decision.” he shakes his head, “it’s not important though.” you watch him start the car, “but that’s why being with you really makes that much of a difference. the more like-him i act, the closer i get.” he grins widely, “and i have to say, i’ve been working on myself a lot lately, and i think i’m doing really well. i think he’s finally happy with me.”

jungkook’s positive attitude is comforting, but you’re still weary of how much of a ‘changed man’ he really is.

it's easy to be someone else for a little while, you thought.

two weeks pass and you and jungkook see each other three more times. you were growing too busy as the week went on to promise him any weekend plans. jungkook said he understood though, and left it at that.

or so, you thought he left it.

you were grabbing a snack for you and your coworker in the break room when a younger, newer girl with rimmed glasses poked her head in, “y/n, right?” you nod and she grins, “uh, there’s someone waiting for you at your station.” her cheeks were flushed and you began to panic thinking what could this possibly be.

the elevator feels infinitely slow to reach your floor and when the door dings you look over to your small assigned desk, to see just about every female, and male, coworker lined up, and the main attraction? jungkook, of course.

you grit your teeth and approach him, “jungkook! whatareyoudoinghere.”

he smiles sweetly at you, “just visiting.” he pulls a small bouquet out from behind his back, “and i come bearing gifts.”

everyone swoons and you are deeply annoyed but don’t dare show it. “oh wow, they’re so cute!” you tell him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“you guys throwing a party without me?” a louder, familiar voice asks, everyone parts ways for mr.lee, who looks equally as surprised to see jungkook. “oh!” he says, looking between me and him, “so you’ll come to visit your girlfriend but not to visit your old man?” he grins, throwing an arm around jungkook and messing up his hair, “all comes with time, i suppose.” he grins at him, “alright, back to your stations.” he says lightheartedly.

after the small crowd dissipates he looks back to us, “glad to see you here, even if it’s for personal reasons.” mr.lee tells him.

“actually, i came for both. you just found me the same time she did.” he tells him. “i’d actually really enjoy it if you could show me around, now that you’re almost done with renovations and improvements, yeah?” jungkook leads his dad in the opposite direction to tour him, which he does with the utmost glee and jungkook looks back smiling, sending you a wink. as annoying as it was, you suppose you could stomach the embarrassment if it was for this.

after they’re plenty gone, the questions begin to pour in. it all started with the married woman beside you, “are you actually dating mr. lee’s son?”

“how long have you been together?”

“how did you meet?”

“what’s he like?”

“is that how you convinced mr. lee to give you a spot here, even as a student?”

that was the question you were anticipating. was it rude and presumptuous? yes. would you have assumed the same? also yes.

you smile sweetly, answering a few basic questions, “we’ve been together for around two months.” “mr. lee introduced us at the charity event.” “he is sweet and charming, clearly!” “we met after i started my internship here.” “i would appreciate you all respecting my privacy, i’m afraid i’m not very comfortable answering any more questions about my personal life.”

the day ends with you finishing a reasonable amount of work. you wanted to do more, but jungkook’s stunt created a rather large bump in the road.

“you ready to go?”

about an hour and a half past shift, with little to no one left, he asks.

“are you finished?” you ask him, he nods. “okay, let’s go.”

jungkook notices the way you avoid being near him and how you answer his questions with single words. you don’t even argue with him for the aux, so decides to ask. “y/n?” you hum, “are you alright?” you look at him, you hadn’t expected him to pick up on it or care enough to point it out. “did i make you mad again?” he sighs.

you furrow your brows, “not really, no.” you tell him, “honestly, it’s not your fault.”

he frowns, “what's not my fault? you know i’m trying to change right? you can tell me when i screw up. it’ll probably happen a good amount.” he chuckles.

you shake your head, “no, jungkook, you are doing fine. great, even. seems like your dad is starting to notice.”

“are you noticing?”

you look to him but he doesn’t look back, “i guess. it’s good you’re finally getting your life together. i get that this may not have been an easy thing to do, but it's going to take even more effort to maintain it.”

he nods, “i know, so, what is it that's got your panties in a twist, and not in a good way?” he grins, he is still jungkook, i suppose.

you shake your head, “it’s nothing really, don’t worry.”

he scowls, “but you said it was something i did, shouldn’t i know what i did?”

“i shouldn’t be upset. that's the issue. it has less to do with you and more my distaste for people being in my business.”

he nods silently. “so you didn’t like me surprising you.”

you shrug, “from a strategic standpoint that was the smartest thing you’ve done.” you chuckle, “i just hate how people think you owe them information on your lovelife. fake or not.”

you’re just ranting now. this had little to do with jungkook, considering he only did it for his dad to see.

he smiles, “i get where you’re coming from. if i had a real girlfriend, i think i would want to keep her away from the public eye. i know that’s likely impossible, but i also don’t like people feeling entitled to my personal life.” you laugh at the connection he fails to make. you were the type of guy to do that mere months ago. but whatever. “oh, and, my dad really took well to that stunt, so your temporary embarrassment, highly paid off.” he holds up an “ok” sign and grins.

“glad to hear. so things are working well then?”

he nods, “oh yeah, definitely. they’re already asking me when i’m going to start bringing you around.”

“bringing me around where?”

“well, as my dates to events and stuff, dinners my dad hosts, or even just our family dinner. yejun just wants to talk your ear off, she’s already driven my dad crazy asking about you.” this is your first time hearing his dad’s wife’s name, you figured she was likely too tipsy to properly introduce herself when you first met.

“does she ask you?” he nods, “and…? what do you tell her?”

“i tell her if i know the answer, if i don’t i just tell her she’ll have to ask you when she sees you again.”

you sigh, this fake relationship stuff is becoming more emotionally taxing than you bargained for. “just, let me know whenever that time comes. i don’t have any preference. as long as it’s a believable timeline.”

“a believable timeline?”

you nod, “yeah? how long had you been dating your last girlfriend before she met your parents.”

he pauses, pulling onto my street. “i’ve never.”

you look at him. he looks at you. you break first, and his laughter follows. “okay, okay, just, whenever is fine then.”

you know what you told jungkook. he said he wouldn’t see anyone other than you during the duration of your fake relationship, and you comprehended how hard that must have been. and you also understand that you loosely agreed. this was a time when jeon jungkook was as much “romance” as you had in your life. you didn’t see the point in seriously dating in school. not when half the student body moves away and you’re split between two-worlds. it just wasn’t obtainable.

you always told yourself you’d keep an open-mind though. you’d surely make an exception for the right one.

you also didn’t consider that the guy in your study group that you had been eyeing, would actually ask you out on a date.

so there you stood, literature classics in hand, in the library, putting himself so viantly on the line and at your mercy. how the hell are you supposed to respond. you know you should say no, out of respect. but you also know it must have taken him a great deal of courage to do what he’s doing. he’s quiet, introverted, and doesn’t seem to make friends or socialize that well. you assume that’s the reason he’s single, and not for his lack of attractiveness.

because he was definitely easy on the eyes, dressed well, even smelled nice. the man just could not talk to women.

he scratched the back of his neck, “i-i’m so sorry for asking so suddenly, i know we don’t know each other that well, and please don’t feel obligated to say yes-”

“sure!” idiotidiotidiot.

“oh! really?” he visibly relaxes, “are you sure?”

“yeah, a study date sounds great!” he grins charmingly, you feel like melting, already picturing the life you could have, seeing that everyday. get a fucking grip.

“i’ll walk you out and we can talk about it?” he offers, you nod, walking side-by-side on campus.

it’s not terrible, what you’re doing. the only issue with going on a date with him is a) jungkook being upset you lied to him (which you feel you should be ranking low on the list, considering the massive amount of shit he’s put you through, but still, you feel guilty) and b) what are you supposed to tell this guy, if he were to find out.

you don’t have all the answers, but you assume they’ll come with time.

he invites you for a coffee on thursday and you don’t reject his offer. you get to know him a little, his story was bland, to say the least. some people are simply boring people. which makes his invite to a party all the more surprising.

you’re sitting beside him in one of the common rooms when a guy recognizes him, very excitedly giving him a “bro” hug. and asking him if he’ll see him (insert dramatic frat guy voice) at the party tomorrow night.

his eyes show the slightest bit of shock or, maybe nervousness? you weren’t sure why he reacted that way or why he took so long to reply to him. “uh, yeah! i think i’ll make an appearance.”

the other boy laughs, “uh, yeah, duh, you kind of have to.” he looks to me and i give him a grin, “oh shit! you’re on a date, my bad.” we both nod, “see you later!”

he sits back down and apologizes, “sorry, younger guys get so attached to me for some reason.”

“what did he mean by you kinda have to be at that party?”

he looks down, “uh, i’m really not sure.”

you raise your eyebrows, “then you wouldn’t mind if i came then, right?”

he looks at you shocked, “oh, really? you wanna go?” you nod. “oh, well, i guess i can ask for one more invite-”

“it’s an invite-only kind of thing?” he nods tentatively, “who has your invites then?”

you don’t want to come on too strong, but this whole thing wasn’t adding up and you knew it. not that you were suspecting foul play or anything, you really believed this guy to be harmless. you just figured there was something else he wasn’t telling you.

“well, i kind of owed a friend some money that i knew i couldn’t pay back so i gave my tickets to them in exchange.” you hum, unsure if you believe that story or not. you conclude it was plausible enough to believe, and you’re just being distrustful. “i-i can definitely ask for another though,” he grins at you, “i’m pretty sure they’d make an exception for a girl like you, so, consider yourself invited.”

the party was a week away and you declined your new interest, jihun’s, dinner invitation. you realized as much as you enjoyed his company, you really ought to slow down. which you were thankful for in the end, once jungkook called you friday night. “hello..”

“y/n! please tell me you’re free this saturday.”

you hum over the phone, “i could be for a few hours, i guess-”

“perfect! you’ll be attending some fancy banquet dinner with me. i really don’t know what it's for just that-” jungkook drones on about the most trivial details.

“jungkook.”

“.. yeah?”

“just tell me the dress code and when you’re going to pick me up.”

he chuckles and give you the information you needed. “i’m assuming it's fancy cocktail, do you have dresses for this or do we need to go shopping?” he asks, rather arrogantly.

“of course i have cocktail dresses jungkook.”

he hums, “so you won’t mind if i swing by to examine your wardrobe?”

you huff, “whatever helps you sleep at night jungkook.”

he sounds slightly testy when he responds, “sorry, i figured i’d spare you the embarrassment of being looked down on by snobby millionaires and offer to buy you a dress. so sorry! i’ll never do such a thing again-”

“okay i get it! just come around 7.”

“you got it boss.”

and jungkook was at your door at 6:52pm, dressed casually like he rolled out of bed, and you guess from his tired eyes and bed head he probably did. his hair, which you learned was usually styled, straightened, gelled, or a mix of the three was none of the above. he let his naturally outgrown brown curls rest atop his head and you temporarily wonder why in god's name he would ever change it to something else if he looks like that, naturally.

he furrows his brows at you when you take an unnatural amount of time to close the door, too busy admiring him. “did you forget i was coming?” he asks.

you quickly shake your head, “no, no! sorry, you just look different.”

he ticks his head, “different?” you hum, “different how?” you shrug, “different good?”

“oh, yeah.” he stands silent, making you continue your babbling, “i just haven’t seen you with your hair like that, i guess. or if i have, i haven't noticed.”

he runs his hands through his hair, “oh, my bad. i usually do it before i go out but i took a shower before i left.”

your female pheromones begin to work extra hard and you chalk it up to the absolute dry spell that has been since you slept with jungkook almost four months ago. any woman in your position would probably jump him, but you are stronger than that.

you also don’t even really like him as a person.

“the dresses are in the closet, probably on the top but i could be wrong.” you point towards your bedroom and he follows, he gets about two steps past your bed before his head snaps down to the floor.

you quickly notice his lack of attention and follow his eyes to the one and only.

“kitty! knock it off you mongrel.” you bend down to push his head back from attacking anymore ankles and he cries out dramatically.

when you stand again jungkook laughs, “i wondered where he was. no wonder they haven’t found that cat, by the time they do it’s too late.”

you chuckle, “yeah i took him off the streets and he just refused to leave the house so he’s mine now i guess.” jungkook nods and bends down, which you quickly warn him against looking for your cat, (who you’ve tried renaming but only responds to kitty, if he responds at all). “if you stick your head under the bed to look for him he will throw hands.”

jungkook takes your advice and instead tries to lure your cat out by tapping on the ground. he is only rewarded with swatting fists. “did you come just to play with my cat or did you want to dissect my wardrobe?”

he stops teasing the cat and pouts, “i bet your dresses are fine actually, this is much more entertaining.”

you sigh, reaching down to grab his hand and drag him up to his feet. “come on, he could do that all day.”

“will he come out?” jungkook asks, almost like an excited child. as soon as you make the connection you can’t help but ask, “did you have pets growing up?”

he pouts even further, “no.”

you grin, “if he doesn’t come out on his own i’ll see what i can do.” he lights up and you spin him around, “until then, tell me what i should wear.”

you sit back on your bed as jungkook pulls out every ‘maybe’ dress he can find in your closet and puts it on the chair. you’re checking your phone when you hear a quiet, low, “oh.”

you sit up on your bed and look at him, staring into your closet. “jungkook.”

“yeah..”

“did you find everything? what’s the verdict.”

he stares off for a second more, then glances at your dresses. he only pulled three which worries you. “these dresses are okay, but they won’t make an impression.” he says, reaching into your closet again and pulling out something that has your eyes widen and your mouth hanging open. he turns to you with a smirk, “but if you wear this underneath you’d certainly impress me.” you spring to your feet and try to take your lingerie out of his grimy hands and he does everything in his power to stop you from taking it. “stop chasing it! i’ll put it back!”

he does as promised then turns back to you, “oh you’re red, red.” you sigh. he laughs, “come on, what are you embarrassed for? that’s hot.”

you furrow your brows, “yeah, clearly, and not for your eyes!”

he scoffs, “what do you mean, ‘not for my eyes’ need i remind you once upon a time you did sleep with me?”

you sigh, “oh you mean when you used me? yeah remember that very vividly jungkook.”

the sex was great, you would never deny that. you had undeniable chemistry, and had you found him under different circumstances you were sure you’d have a lot of fun, but that wasn’t your reality. instead, he used sex as a means to get to you, as a trap.

he looks at you solemnly, “i’m sorry.” you nod. “i don’t know if i should say this, but i actually only slept with you because i wanted to. that was just a brightside to my terribly, mean plan to sabotage you.”

you look at him confused, “so you just did it because you wanted to?”

he nods, “i had an agenda, clearly, but I didn’t expect you to be as pretty as you were.” he laughs, his hand coming up to massage his neck, “i actually almost forgot and ditched the whole thing after i brought you back to my house.”

“but you didn’t.”

he nods, “but i didn’t.”

you lick your lips, “why?” he stares at you, “why didn’t you stop? and just leave it be?”

he shrugs, “i was, selfish and insecure. i didn’t think i was good enough to make it on my own. thought i had to manipulate my way through everything. your name is on the list of things i sacrificed in order to get here. i just count myself lucky that you were unlucky enough to come across me again.”

you realize you’ve been trying to hold onto this hatred for jungkook since that night, but deep down, for a reason you so badly wish you could explain, you don’t really hate him at all.

“you have no idea how bad i want to believe you jungkook.” you say. you want to say so much more. you want to give him a hug, because he seems like he needs it. you want to tell him he can stay as long as he wants and play with your cat and beat you in as many video games as he pleases but you just can’t. you don’t trust him, but you still pity him.

“you have no idea how much i wish you would.” he responds. your eyes stayed glued to the floor. letting the tension settle before speaking out, “uhm, so, do we need to go dress shopping tomorrow?”

he looks over to the small pile, “is that all you have?” you nod. “yeah, to be safe.”

he turns to show himself out and your cat, forever the instigator, runs out at him. jungkook stops in the doorway, staring at the cat. kitty stares back, wide-eyed. “i think we’re bonding.”

“i think he’s going to bite you.”

you were correct.

you pick up your aggravated feline, who is much calmer in your arms with your back turned to jungkook. “gosh, he’s like a guard dog.”

you cradle him like a baby, “i don’t think he likes men very much.” you turn back around to face jungkook and your cat buries himself in your arms at the sight of him. jungkook watches the cat in fascination and reaches a hand out to you, which your cat swats at him before he touches your skin.

“wow, good job, guard cat!” he stands up straight and you walk him to the door, “lock that thing out of your room when you have a guy over.” you smile at his lighthearted joke, “so, i’ll be here around 12 to take you shopping?”

he shakes his head to make his wavy layered hair fall away from his face. “uh, yeah, sounds good-”

knock knock knock.

you look at the door behind jungkook, he turns his head from the door, to you. “you expecting someone?”

you shake your head, “no. could be sooyung.” you shrug, “but she would’ve texted me.” you check over your notifications but see nothing. you walk to the door and open it, and your skin begins to heat. oh fuck.

“hi! y/n.” you do the quickest thing you can think of to prevent this from getting worse, which is suspiciously closing the door behind you, leaving you and jihun outside your door and jungkook on the other side, disoriented with a cat that wants to fight him.

“jihun! wow, you didn’t say you were coming over-” come to think of it, how did he know which campus apartment was yours?

“oh, don’t worry about it. i just figured if we couldn’t see each other this weekend then i could at least give you these.” he hands you a bouquet. “so maybe you won’t forget about me.” he says with a grin.

your mind is racing, you feel indifferent. you feel weird. “thank you so much.” you give him a hug and he hands you the flowers. “i surely won’t.”

you awkwardly close the door, letting a large breath fall when he’s no longer standing in front of you.

“flowers?”

you look over to jungkook, standing away from the door in the living space, cat toy in hand as he waves it under the couch. “uh, yeah, i guess.”

you awkwardly murmur, walking over to your kitchen to sit them on the counter to deal with later. he doesn’t say anything, continuing to waive the cat toy around before rising to his feet. “you know, if you’re seeing someone you can tell me.” you stare at him cautiously, “i mean, we’re not really dating, i’d just like to know so i’m not blindsided.”

you take a breath, “you’re not upset?”

“what room do i have to be upset?”

you can’t deny the disappointing feeling you felt when he admitted that. “i’m not sure how i feel about him. it’s not serious.”

he hums, “just, keep me updated if something changes.” he walks to the door, “and y/n,” you look to him, your face is easy to read, “you can’t tell him.”

jungkook took you shopping as promised. he followed you around stores and made comments on everything you picked out. it got exhausting to the point where you, once again, asked him to simply pick something out.

this time, he agreed. “god.” he groans, “i thought you’d never ask! stay there.” he told you, instructing you to stay in the dressing room.

jungkook showed up seconds later with four dresses. “here.” you pull back the curtain and take the dresses from his arm.

“wow, they’re the right size and everything.”

he laughs, “i’m not an idiot, i know your size, and your style, which is why i know you may not love these but you’ll look good in everything, so i just picked something my mom and her friends would like, but still too sexy for any of them to wear.”

you acknowledge the thought he put into this as you zip yourself into the first one. it’s an unfavorable shade of burgundy and makes you feel old, but it has a low back and the skirt is short.

you step out of the dressing room and examine yourself in the bigger mirrors. jungkook checks you out from every angle as well. you both look at each other simultaneously making a “meh” face and sound.

“okay, glad we agree!” you try on another that was much better, a gorgeous blue, but simply wasn’t fit for your body type.

the third pick was a surprise. it was a deep, velvet green that hugged you famously and oozed sophistication. you looked and felt like a million bucks, and not in a sleazy way.

you step past the curtain and immediately look to jungkook. perhaps describing the way you felt when he looked at you would be better than describing how he looked at you, but you can’t ignore either. he stared at you speechlessly, mouth open, eyes scanning, and brain completely devoid of any thought besides you and everything he felt and thought about you.

“jesus christ.” is the first words exchanged between the two of you. “you look astonishing.” he had never meant something more in his entire life, he thinks.

“i feel fantastic.” you grin at him, taking a few steps closer to the mirror and checking yourself out. he watches the way you carry yourself in that dress and it's obvious how much you like it.

he appears behind you, “you’re glowing.” he chuckles and you nod excitedly, “it would be a crime not to get this one.”

you run your hands down your dress and turn around to face him, “feel it too!” you take his hand and direct him from your waist to your hips. jungkook thinks the most unholy things in the back of his mind but chooses to focus on how happy you are and how perfect the dress is for the occasion. “yeah,” he breathes, “it’s soft.”

you catch the way he looks at you and gulp, “well, sadly, i’ll go take it off.” he chuckles and sits back down.

as you’re walking out of the dressing room jungkook points to the doors of the shop, “can you go look if there's a sushi place anywhere on this street?”

you do as asked, and by the time you’re stepping back in to tell him the bad news he’s grinning. “there isn’t-”

“i know.” he smiles, slinging an arm around your shoulder and holding your dress in the other arm.

“then why-”

“do you want lunch while we’re out? you can pick, i’ll eat anything.”

jungkook treats you to lunch as well, and you picked a common, inexpensive place that was easy for the both of you. not that you needed to be concerned with how much money he was spending, but you couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty.

you conclude that is the exact reason he sent you on a wild goose chase, so you wouldn’t know how much he paid for the dress. your suspicions were further confirmed when you get home and see the tag gone. you sigh and hang it up for the time being.

damn jeon jungkook.

you toy with your fingers as jungkook parks the car. “stay there.” he tells you. you watch him circle the car and hand his keys off to someone before opening your door and extending a hand and a sickening smile.

you chuckle, impressed, “my prince.”

he finds it amusing, taking your arm in his as he leads you into an expensive hotel that looks nothing like the hotels you’ve ever been to. he leans in so only you can hear, “you’re gonna get prince jungkook all night,” he says, looking at you with a wink, “try not to fall in love with me.”

you stick your tongue out, pretending to be disgusted by the declaration, when he really had no idea that you had been fighting yourself since you met him.

but you are nothing if not stubborn.

“jungkook is here!” yejun shouts excitedly, spotting her step-son as soon as he enters the room, a drink in her hand and clearly not her first one.

jungkook smiles sweetly and hugs her, she then looks at you, eyes wide with loud, exaggerated gasp as she looks you up and down. “you brought y/n! oh this is fantastic, a cause for a celebration!” she states. a younger man appears behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, “perhaps take it easy on the drinking, mom. dinner hasn’t even started.” she blows him off and he extends a hand to you, “so you’re jungkook’s girlfriend?”

you nod and smile pleasingly, “yes, lucky me! i’m y/f/n.”

he chuckles, “lucky you, indeed.” he says sarcastically. ha. you already like this one. “i’m his brother, seojoon.”

you nod and continue to talk to his brother but jungkook pulls you away rather quickly, “i’m thirsty, come with me to check out the bar?”

you stare at the back of his head as he leads you towards the bar. “why did you interrupt? i was getting along-”

“we have better people to converse with than my brother.” he speaks curtly.

you take the hint and decide not to poke the bear and instead take a seat at the bar beside him. “so, any gameplan? or, just mingle.”

“just, be how you normally are.”

you frown, “well, thats lame.”

he chuckles and shakes his head, “you don’t need to change to make it in this society.”

he must be feeling the weight of his future riding on him at all times. you always wondered how kids like him dealt with that feeling. clearly, he doesn’t deal well.

you slide a hand overtop of his and look at him. he stares at you surprised, wide, dark, doe eyes. “you’re being a little hard on yourself.” you can tell by the way he looks at you that he doesn’t believe you. “really jungkook, even coming from me!” you gesture, hoping he would better understand the severity of your words but it only seemed to make it worse.

you sigh, “you’ve improved so much jungkook. in such little time. people like you, you’re charming, you’re charismatic, you’re extremely talented, you’re aware of the opportunities in front of you, and for the first time, you’re facing them. people notice you, jungkook. people love you.” he stares at you intently, hanging onto every word. you grin, “both of us, are going to make it big.”

you knew he was receptive to your little encouragement speech. you told yourself it was one of your duties as a fake girlfriend, because the last thing you needed was for him to start losing faith and motivation. he didn’t have to tell you or show you how appreciative he was, but he felt the need to. barside, with your legs crossed and one hand on his and the other in your lap, he reached across and grabbed your chin, and kissed you.

the shock on both of your faces was a dead give away, but neither of you cared, for the first time, it wasn’t about your stupid plan. that kiss was entirely different. it was optional. it served no purpose, unless you were aiming on swooning the bar staff over as well, but he did it anyway.

jungkook settles back in his seat and takes a large sip of his drink. he doesn’t say anything, and your eyes bore into him, aching for him to say anything. his hair was natural today, wavy and breath-takingly handsome. you begin to recall when you told him he looked good like that.

“your dad is coming.” you whisper to him.

“ah, i was wondering where my son was.” he surprises jungkook with a hug. “y/n! fantastic to see you again.”

“you as well mr.lee, thank you for inviting me.”

“pft.” he waives, “i should be thanking you, too.”

you laugh despite your bewilderment, “for what?”

he grins, “for the work you do of course.” he pats jungkook on the back, “and for slapping some sense into my son.” he turns to you, “i don’t know how you did it, but i thank you.”

the way he stands in front of you, thanking you for something you didn’t do, sat wrong with you. “mr. lee,” you start, jungkook stares hard at you, “jungkook did it all on his own. you should be exceptionally proud of him, he’s worked hard for the both of us.” you had no clue how true your words were.

mr. lee nods with a hearty chuckle and looks down at him, “i can tell, if i ever had doubts, they’re gone now.”

jungkook looks like he could shoot off into space right now and float happily and die a hero. you smile for him and the bartender hands his father his drink, “congratulations, jungkook.” he raises his glass to his son and takes a sip.

from then until dinner, jungkook talked your ear off. he was blissed out. when dinner came, he began to eat so quickly you knocked your knee into his to get his attention, “slow down.”

he nodded and resumed eating, at a much, much, slower, snail pace. you shake your head, “real comedian you are.” he laughs and eats his food, at a normal pace.

the dinner banquet left plenty of time for people to grab seconds and finish their food. tables were set up for families to be with families and guests to be with guests, etc.

mr. lee finished his meal about three minutes ago and has been staring at the table wordlessly. you don’t think much of it really, until he speaks, “i have something i’d like to tell you all.”

it was as if that was the beginning of a game of deadfish, everyone had stilled with their eyes on him. he clears his throat, “in the next two years, i will be retiring.”

i scan their faces. mr. lee looks, oddly calm. his wife looks shocked. seojoon looks perplexed. “and starting as soon as he graduates, assuming he is prepared and willing, jungkook, will take my spot.”

you stare out the car window and watch as the lights blur as they go by. that night could not have gone better if you had written it yourself. jungkook was ecstatic at first. after meals were served he dragged you to the dance floor and spun you around. you both learned you were fantastic dancers. they opened a bottle of champagne, you met tons of successful people and made connections and friendships alike. it was remarkable.

and still, jungkook looked indifferent.

“i would think you would be jumping off the walls right now.” you smile at him as you wait for the car.

he looks at you with a warm grin, “i’m happy.” he turns his head to stare off into the city. the night is young and alive on a friday night. college students just now heading out and workers calling it a day. then there was you and him, dressed to the nines, easily the best looking couple in any room (which you would argue, he carries) and still, he stood out. “it feels weird. this is what i wanted all along. this is what i fought for, what we worked at for months,” he ticks his head to the side, “but it still feels, off.”

jungkook sighs, feeling something he’s never felt before: discontentment. he helps you into the car and grabs the keys from the valet before sliding into the driver's seat. “maybe it hasn’t hit yet. this is only the beginning, after all.”

he nods, “i hope so.”

the week passed quickly with little word from jungkook. you grew worried as the days went on with no texts or calls, but he wasn’t really your boyfriend after all, so what room did you have to worry?

when the weekend rolled around with no date plans from him, you accepted the party invitation jihun grabbed for you. he grinned charmingly as he passed the paper to you, telling you, “all i had to do was show them a picture of you and they agreed” with a sickeningly shy smile. you shook your head, not believing him but appreciating the comment nonetheless.

this was apparently ‘the party’ of the year. hence the invitations, and you figured it came with a budget, seeing as the house was off-campus, huge, and had every kind of liquor you could have imagined available. “wow, i’ve never seen something like this before.”

you murmur to sooyung who's making herself a drink despite pregaming at your place beforehand. she nods, “oh yeah, i was invited last year and it was phenomenal. sigma hosts, but we don’t actually know how they get the funds for it.”

you laugh, “rich people.” she grins and raises her drink to you, “rich people indeed, and i will drink all of their free liquor!”

you laugh at her and grab a seltzer for yourself, leaning against the expensive countertops and staring out into the party. your slightly disappointed when you don’t spot anyone you know, including jihun. sooyung matches your stance and mocks you, “don’t see the boy toy?”

you shake your head, “not a boy toy, and no, i don’t see him.”

she hums then chuckles, “oh, screw jihun, your other lover is here.”

you furrow your brows, “sooyung what are you-”

lo and behold, jeon jungkook was here too.

of course! where there is a party, there is a jungkook. it really shouldn’t surprise you at all to see him, he is a college student afterall, and you were here too. with a date, at that. you knew jungkook though, you thought he’d changed. his face was tinted pink and he was laughing with a large group surrounding a couch, and despite not being much of a talker, all eyes were on him. not just eyes either, a pretty brunette with a push up bra was beside him with her hand on his thigh, just ogling him as if she had zero shame in the world. as you continue to stare you notice just how annoying the group was. they were betting, doing dares, and drinking all too much. “still a partier i guess.” sooyung shrugs. you can’t take your eyes away from it, you almost feel sick. you partially blame the alcohol, but you want to rip his head off for the way he was acting. is this what he’s been doing this entire time? did you give his dad your word that he was a better man just for him to play both of you? did you seriously let him use you again?

rage boiled in you on a slow simmer. you were an angry person. you knew you should be above it, but frankly, revenge is too sweet to ever pass up on.

you smiled in relief when jihun found you, covering your eyes from behind you, “guess who?”

you laugh and grab his hands as you turn around, “i can smell your cologne when you’re this close to me.”

you burst his bubble and he responds with a fake pout, “no fun.” you grin up at him, his hair dyed blonde and outgrown, and his outfit tonight makes him painfully attractive, dark wash jeans that hug his thighs and a loose button up that wasn’t so buttoned up. “how long have you been here?” he asks over the music.

“sooyung and i just got here.”

he nods and leans against the counter beside you, watching the partygoers and adjusting to the environment. sooyung was quick to find a friend to join, but parties were never your favorite. you liked bars, you liked to drink and dance and have fun, but parties always had a way of making you feel off. you think jihun picked up on this.

“you should drink more. everyone's anxieties wash away with the right amount of alcohol.” he laughs, clearly using that tactic himself. you can tell by the way he’s talking to you and carrying himself he’s already feeling the effects.

“yes but getting too drunk is disastrous.”

he leans his head closer to yours, “i’ll make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself.” jihun smiles sweetly at you and you can’t help but grin.

“it’s not that i think i’ll embarrass myself,” you start before biting your tongue.

“what?” he grins, lifting himself away from the counter and standing in front of you.

you lock eyes with him and decide to just be honest, “i don’t think i’d be able to control myself around you.”

you were sure he’d take it sexually, but what you really meant was you were trying to go slow so it wouldn’t cause a rift in your plan. but after seeing jungkook, you didn’t give fuck-all about the plan. sex couldn’t hurt either, you suppose. his brows raise and a grin grows on his face, “when did i give you the impression that i wanted you to hold back?” he glances around the room, staring off into the living room before staring back to you, “have i told you how gorgeous you look tonight?” he’s so close your noses are touching and you know he’s waiting for you to go in first, but you enjoy the game so you simply stare at his lips, “i think every guy in here is jealous of me.”

you chuckle and let your arms wrap lazily around his neck, “how does that make you feel?”

he bites at his lip, “like i want to shove it in their face a little more.” and with that you make him kiss you first. he’s gentle, much like you thought he’d be, and he pulls away for a moment, you figure catching his breath, before he kisses you again, harder, effectively pressing your back against the counter and gripping your hip tightly.

your mind swirled and your body practically lit up like a match, since the last time you touched a real man was months ago and jungkook was a disappointment, you figured you deserved this.

he lifted you onto the countertop and you licked at his lips as you wrapped your legs around him and pulled him closer to you. just when things were getting good he pulls away from you completely. you’re slow to react, and by the time you open your eyes you barely have time to grasp onto the situation at all before it’s enfolding in front of you like a spontaneous trainwreck.

you watched jihun being pulled by the shoulder, pushed away from you, and throwing his hands up with a smirk. “sorry, is she your girlfriend?” he asks him. you follow the chiseled arm up to recognize jungkook, and promptly hop off of the counter.

you were content with taking your frustrations out on jihun (in a way both of you would surely enjoy) and deal with jungkook later, but now he’s getting involved in your personal life.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” jungkook shouts in his face, you try to rationalize his anger with drinking and even possibly drugs, but you really don’t understand what he’s doing.

“what the fuck are you doing jungkook?” you step between him and jihun, a few guys you recognize from earlier pull jihun back and jungkook locks eyes with you instead. his eyes soften, but you can tell he is equally as enraged as you are with him. you find the simple notion that he’s upset at all, even more infuriating. you hadn’t done anything wrong.

“y/n, are you serious?” he asks you in disbelief, you widen your eyes as if challenging him and he scoffs, “you’re so fucking stupid.” he grabs you and pulls you away from the party and upstairs, trying to find somewhere private enough and you’re anger is growing by the second and you pull away from him and turn to go back downstairs. “where are you going.” he stops you.

“back to the party! you’ve lost your mind jungkook-”

“i haven’t lost my mind!” he stares at you determined, bending down to your level, “i have finally fucking found it.”

you chuckle, “you found it? what, at a party? several beers in? you’re drunk, jungkook.”

he groans in annoyance, “i am not drunk-”

“your face is red.”

“i have drank i am not drunk.” you shrug and begin to walk away and he grabs onto you again. your eyes bore into his as you dig your nails into his hand.

“leave me alone jungkook.”

you hear him grumble before he appears in front of you, grabbing onto your waist and throwing you over his shoulder. “jeon jungkook!” he finds an empty room and carries you into it before releasing you onto the bed, treating you with a hint of caution like a feral cat.

you truly wish looks could kill, you were at your wits end with jungkook and not only do you think you hate him and can’t wait to be rid of him, he went out of his way to ruin your relationship, effectively cock-block you, and now he’s trapped you in a room alone with him.

“you look like you want to kill me.” jungkook took a step back from you and closer to the door.

“you’ve given me many reasons to want to claw your eyes out, but today is really starting to top the list of reasons why jungkook is an asshole.”

he takes a breath and nods, “i don’t doubt thats an extensive list but y/n,” he chuckles and motions towards the door, “what the fuck are you doing with jihun?!”

you furrow your brows, “i’ve been seeing him for a month now, why are you getting involved? matter of fact, why are you acting like my boyfriend at all? you know it’s not real, right?” he opens his mouth and steps closer but you’re faster to stand up and get in his face, “i’ve not only forgiven you but looked past all the shit you’ve done to me because it served a bigger purpose, something we both could benefit from but this!” you motion around the both of you, “this is just you screwing me over because you can.”

“that’s not-”

“not only did you get between me and a guy, which you have no reason to be upset about, you lied to me, lied to your dad, your entire family actually, you’ve manipulated everyone around you to fit your needs and i am tired of it jungkook!” you blame the alcohol and the drama of it all on why your eyes begin to tear up and he looks at you like you’ve ripped his heart out, and you’re glad. “i’m going back to the party, and jungkook,” he lets you pass him, “consider this our breakup.” you glance at him as you pass and he grimaces.

you’re turning the door handle when he warns you, “he’s just using you.”

it stops you, but only so you can laugh, “and you’re any different?”

you’re fuming when you leave the room. taking the last few steps on the stairs you hear jihun’s voice coming from the other side of the wall and you walk towards it, “i told you, they went upstairs. i can’t just follow them in there.”

when you turn the corner you see the last person you were expecting to see, and the only one who could possibly make this any worse. “minji?”

both heads turn to you in horror, as if you caught them in the act. though you’re sure minji isn’t the type of girl to care. “y/n! a-are you alright?” jihun walks towards you and puts his hands on your shoulders but you shove him away and look at minji.

“i should have figured you were involved.”

she grins and crosses her arms over her chest, “you cheated on your boyfriend all on your own, don’t be mad at me for exposing you to jungkook.” your face turns as you put the pieces together. you face jihun who looks frightened, “were you just using me then?”

he shakes his head, “n-no not entirely, i mean, minji put me up to it but i really do like-”

“stop talking.”

minji crosses in front of you and leers, “i thought you were a smart girl y/n,” she steps towards you, “but this has to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” she walks past you, “thanks for making this easy!”

the thin ice your sanity and patience sat upon had finally broken. you chase minji up the stairs, no doubt making her way to jungkook and knock past her and towards the room you left him in. “what do you think you’re doing? leave the poor boy alone y/n.” she shouts after you, “matter of fact, leave him to me!” you open the door to see jungkook sitting on the bed, facing the door. he’s much more calm than before, and he stares at you almost apologetically. you turn to see minji heading towards the door and give her the finger before locking it.

you stand staring at the door, thoughts racing as you struggle with the information overload. jungkook was your #1 enemy hardly a minute ago, and now you’ve willingly locked yourself in a room with him.

“y/n.” he calls out to you. you don’t face him and merely hum. you hear him rise off the bed and listen to his footsteps come closer. you turn to face him and as if he read your mind, you say it at the same time with urgency.

“i’m sorry.”

he scowls, “what do you have to be sorry for?”

you shake your head, “you tried to warn me, i-i should’ve listened to you but instead i ran away from you and said terrible things-”

“i deserved it entirely.”

you chuckle, “not really, but still,” you look him in the eyes with the most sincerity you can offer, “i shouldn’t have been so angry and stubborn.”

he shakes his head and grabs your hand, “i’ve given you every reason to hate me and to not trust me, i keep fucking this up y/n.”

“no, i’ve effectively screwed up the plan. minji thinks i cheated on you, she’ll blab as soon as she gets the chance and your family will hate me.”

he furrows his brows, “i’m not talking about the plan y/n, i don’t care about that or what minji says.”

you’re taken aback by his selfishness, “you may have gotten what you wanted but i didn’t! your family could blacklist me for life jungkook-”

he grabs you by the shoulders, “can you please focus on what i’m saying y/n.”

“you’re not getting it jungkook i-i am totally fucked-” you continue to babble on about how horrible this situation is and how ignorant and mean he is for not caring about it, until he’s simply had enough of your ranting and kisses you.

it’s short, and not great, but effective in his goal. he pulls away and looks at you with widened eyes, “you’re not hearing me y/n.”

you stare off past him, “no i think i heard that loud and clear.”

“i didn’t know jihun and minji were together.” your face contorts in confusion, “i-i mean, not for certain.” he stands up straight and removes his hands from your body, “i saw them together before i knew you were here, and then i saw him kissing you a-and i couldn’t stop myself, i felt disgusted.”

“you felt disgusted, watching me kiss someone?”

he sighs, “please stop playing stupid.”

you shake your head, “no, if you have something to tell me then say it.” he stands in the room and doesn’t utter another word. you scoff, “yeah, i figured.”

you stand in silence for a moment more. you don’t want to stay, but leaving causes just as many issues. you decide you’ve had enough embarrassment for a night and decide to leave when he begs you to stay. you simply look up at him, waiting for him to say something more, and what he says leaves you reeling, “do you hate me?”

this question takes you through a range of emotions: confusion, annoyance, resentment, then overwhelm. why would he ask me such a stupid question? have i not told him countless times how much i dislike him and everything he does? “have i not made it abundantly clear that you annoy the piss out of me?”

“i didn’t ask if i annoyed you, i asked if you hated me.”

he’s found a way around your walls and you were finally beginning to notice. “what’s the difference?”

“if you hated me the way you say you do, then it's hopeless. but I don't think you hate me at all.”

you scoff, “i should.”

he nods quickly, “yes, you should.”

you stare down at your feet, letting the words fall so hesitantly from your lips, “but i don’t.”

he grins, “see?” jungkook places his hands on your shoulder once again in an attempt to grab your attention, “i think you feel the same way i do.”

he’s effective in grabbing your attention, but you look at him in horror, “i think you’re insane.”

“i think i’m in love with you.”

he says it with such confidence and tenacity you think it would have physically sent you stumbling backwards had it not been for his grip on you, like if he didn’t hold on, you would simply disappear. “y/n.”

your mind races and you stare at the floor beneath you. did he really just say that?

“what?” is all you can muster to say, and it barely makes its way past your lips.

“i don’t want to be your fake boyfriend anymore.” he bends to be at your level until you look him in the eyes. “please don’t make me keep going.”

his cheeks are flushed and you can tell he means it. “you, want this to be serious?” he nods determinedly, “how do i know you’re not playing some mean trick?”

he looks disoriented and offended by your question, but his tone is understanding, “what do i possibly have to gain from telling you that?” isn’t what he wanted to say. he knows you well enough to know that’s what you needed to hear, though. he wanted to list every reason he’s infatuated with you, every moment in the past he held his tongue, every thought and kind word that would have been inappropriate to tell you before this moment.

“i’m not sure.”

he softly chuckles, “i have nothing to gain, you said it yourself.” you feel him gently grabbing your fingers, “actually, i have everything to gain, but not in the way you’re asking.”

you shake your head, “you can’t be with me, i-its too complicated.”

“nothing about this needs to be-”

“you really would be better off with someone like minji, a-and you’d be the idiot that stayed with a nobody who cheated on him, and your father-”

“y/n.” you stare at him when he calls your name, eyes still wide with shock, but he matches your gaze with amusement and a certain softness. “i don’t care about any of that right now.” you don’t comprehend what he’s telling you, how can he not? he can’t afford to gamble with his future right now, not when he was just handed everything he’s ever wanted. “d-do you feel the same? about me?” you’re baffled, seriously? your feelings being reciprocated are his utmost concern right now? “y-you don’t have to confess anything, just that you want to try again, with me. but seriously, this time.”

your body relaxes, “like, actual dates?”

he chuckles, “absolutely.” he straightens himself, still holding onto your fingertips, “the whole romance thing, i want it with you.”

you disagree, “you don’t know anything about romance. you’ve never so much as talked about a future with a lover in the picture.”

“because i’ve never been in love before.” he says so nonchalantly.

you breath, “and you think you’re in love now?”

he bites his bottom lip before giving a mischievous grin, “maybe.” he sits on the bed and pulls me with him, scooching over so we’re shoulder to shoulder. “have you been in love before?”

you reflect for a moment before grinning wittily, “maybe.”

he laughs, not replying immediately. instead he covers your hand resting on your thighs, “let's try together then.”

you stare at him, you think in this moment, for the first time, you’re really seeing him. you’re not met with a mask, a joke, or your deceitful hatred (that was never really hatred, you realize). you’re staring into his big brown eyes, and he’s letting you. he’s listening to you, hanging onto every last word. he’s being vulnerable for you. “but what about-”

he shakes his head, stopping you as soon as you start, like he could see right through you. “don’t think about all the reasons for or against us right now. answer with what you feel.” a hard ask, considering you’ve spent your entire life conditioning yourself to be this way. “tell me you want me too, y/n.” you feel the warmth of his words on your skin. you can’t stand the idea of pulling away from him right now, so you tug him closer, grabbing him by the collar until you feel his lips on yours again.

your mind eases immediately, like far away rain in a warm house. he is warm, easy, yearnful. like you could have this all the time, and it still wouldn’t be enough. you wonder how long you’ve known this, how long it's taken you to notice, or if you realize it now, with your lips on his and he’s being oh so gentle, that you think you’re in love with him too.

he took you home with him that night. his reason being that you had a lot to talk about in the morning, but his real reason was simply that he wanted you beside him.

you woke up to the sound of dishes clanking in the kitchen and the sheets beside you cold. annoyed was your first emotion, and your pout as you saunter out of his bedroom says it all. you pull a chair out for yourself and balance your head on your hands as you watch him.

he grins as he watches you, “good morning, cranky.” he watches amusingly as your pout furthers. “not a morning person?”

your brows are furrowed, “not when i wake up alone, no.”

he hums and fights the largest grin he thinks he’s ever mustered, “ah, my sincerest apologies.” he’s making a plate before serving it to you, “are pancakes enough for you to forgive me?”

you huff, cutting a piece and biting it off your fork, “no.”

“no?”

you shake your head, “nope.”

he leans against the table with a smirk, “what will make it enough?”

you stare at him, further annoyed by how ovary-aching he looks even in the morning. his hair is still messy, with loosely fitting grey sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt.

“coming back to bed with me after you eat might do it.”

he saunters over to you and tucks a stray behind your ear, “that was already a part of the plan.” you think he’ll try to kiss your syrup tainted lips, but he goes back over to the stove to make

himself a plate before sitting and eating with you. it’s sickeningly domestic, the two of you like this. so sweet you think you’ll have to bump up your dentist appointment.

but you don’t hate it. you’ll learn you hate a lot less than you love while you’re with jungkook. he’s not a perfect boyfriend, and you’re not a perfect girlfriend. it’s hard, explaining it to your friends, coming up with stories for his family, and running collateral with minji.

you thought it would be harder to be with jungkook. you found it hard to trust in him after meeting the man he was before. a pleasant surprise to you, that loving jungkook was so incredibly easy.

“i’m guessing you won’t want that transfer after all.” he whispers, having surprised you yet again by showing up to your work (though this time, much more sneakily and nonchalant).

you look at him confused, making three cups of coffee to take to his father’s office. one was for him, which he cheekily asked you to do since ‘you’re already going down there’ before proceeding to follow you like a puppy all the way there anyway. “transferring?” you laugh, “when did i say anything about that?”

he grins, resting his chin on your shoulder and his hands draped lazily around your waist as you both wait, listening to the machine buzz. “when we were fake dating, you said you’d have me recommend or transfer you.”

you hum, wrapping your arms around his, “definitely not.” you turn in his embrace, “you need someone here to keep you on your toes.”

he shakes his head, “you do the opposite.” you furrow your brows and he laughs, pressing your heads together, “feel like i'm floating sometimes. like it's not even real.”

you hum, running a finger along his jawline, “this is one hell of a dream, if it's not real.”

he nods, “call me sleeping beauty, and don't wake me up.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚

a happy ending :) gosh i loved writing this. new jjk mini series coming soon 😎 wishing u all a phenomena january - ara <3

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taglist: @marvelahsobx @fragmentof-indifference @notbotheredtho @jwnghyuns @heronstairsxd @isab3lita @shescharlie @kooookie @jeonzll @nickyisityou @laylasbunbunny @instabull @xjiminsthighsx @iceykoo @ash07128

Heartbreaker

Genre: slight Enemies to Lovers, Grew Up Together AU, Idiots to Lovers, Fluff, Angst, Bad Boy!Yoongi if you squint

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader

Warnings: fighting, very minimal cursing, bittersweet ending

Synopsis: Min Yoongi broke your heart so many times. Little did you know, he was the one holding it together.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The first time Min Yoongi broke your heart was in second grade. You'd just moved from Gwangju to Daegu; the new girl. The teacher sat you next to a boy with pale skin and dark hair that fell over his forehead and almost into his eyes. 

He didn't say anything, or even look up from his work when you sat down. The teacher chastised him and he eventually looked up and acknowledged you. 

"Nice to meet you, Y/N-ah," he said, before returning to his work, which was simply coloring in the picture of a house with a sky and the sun. He was currently scribbling in the sky with the light blue crayon. 

The teacher handed you your own page to color. You reached for the green crayon, your hand colliding with Yoongi's. He glared at you, his 8 year old face contorting into one of disgust. You were so shocked, you barely noticed as he grabbed the green crayon out from underneath your fingers. 

You instead took the light blue crayon he'd been using to color in his sky and began coloring in your own. Your strokes were slower and smoother, your sky looking like a uniform color, instead of his sky which was a bunch of scribbled blue lines.

"You have to be more careful," you said. "If you take your time the sky will turn out prettier." 

The boy--realizing you were talking to him--scoffed at you. 

"I'm not going to be your friend," he said. "You can stop trying." 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The second time Min Yoongi broke you heart was when he walked into the music room after school. You'd hated him ever since that day in second grade, you went out of your way to avoid the boy, running away from him on the playground. Yet, he never stopped chasing you.

As the two of you entered middle school, you shared many of the same friends, but never talked. Many of your friends asked why and it honestly sounded so stupid to say that a crayon started it all. But, regardless, he was the type of boy you were scared to approach. He didn't talk much, except for with his friends, and even then he was reserved. He carried around a notebook he often wrote on in class, but it wasn't for notes,

"Hello Yoongi," the music teacher said. "Let me just finish up with Y/N and then we'll start your lesson." 

The boy nodded and took a seat on the other side of the classroom and cracked open his notebook. His hair--which was shorter--still flopped the same way over his forehead. You could still see the little boy, even when he'd grown so much. 

"Let's go through it again," the teacher said. 

You nodded, a bit hesitant to play with the boy in the room. You knew he'd been taking lessons since before you'd even met him. 

You placed your fingers on the keys and positioned your foot above the pedals and began playing. The first part of the song went smoothly, but as you attempted to play the bridge between the verse and the chorus, you weren't able to keep up with the tempo change. Out of all of your attempts, you hadn't managed to nail the bridge yet. 

"Can I show her something?" Yoongi asked the teacher. 

The teacher--not about to deprive his star pupil--nodded and moved off the bench. Yoongi sat down beside you, his thigh brushing yours as he shifted on the hard wood. 

"If you position your hand like this," he said, taking hold of your hand and adjusting your fingers. Your fingertips still rested on the same keys, but it made it easier to transition at the bridge. He pulled his hand away from yours, but your eyes met, acknowledging the small hesitance. "It'll be easier to transition to the bridge." 

He got up from the bench and moved back to his notebook. 

You were shocked, your mouth slightly agape. The teacher sat back down next to you and motioned for you to play again. You successfully played the bridge. 

Once you lesson was over, you looked back at the boy you could no longer hate. Which only made you want to hate him more. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The third time Min Yoongi broke your heart was when you made out at your sixteenth birthday party. Somehow the two of you got roped into a game of spin the bottle. Despite it being your birthday party, the guests had gotten out of hand and taken control.   

You spun the bottle and it landed on the boy you wanted to hate. His facial expression remained nearly indecipherable, but you could tell by the slight twitch of his lips as everyone ushered the two of you into a closet and locked the door, that he was nervous.

"No one will know if we actually kiss or not," you said, moving into the darkest and deepest part of the closet, coats at your back and pairs of shoes threatening to trip you directly back towards Yoongi. 

"Do you want to?" he asked. 

"I don't know," you answered truthfully. "I've never kissed anyone before." 

"Me neither," he said. 

"But, you've had girlfriends?" 

"Doesn't mean I kissed any of them." 

Silence fell between the two of you and you heard him moving closer, trying not trip over shoes. You were surprised he'd never kissed anyone before, it seemed there a lot of girls who would be willing to kiss him. Between his cute puppy dog face, broody demeanor, and musical talent; it seemed absolutely impossible he hadn't found one girl to kiss him. 

"I guess, we could try..." you said, trailing off. "Only if you want to." 

Yoongi was just in front of you now, you could just barely make out his form in the hazy darkness. You felt as he placed his hands on your shoulders, attempting to find you in the dark. 

"It never felt right before," he said. "But it feels right now." 

He leaned in and even though neither of you could see very well in the dark, your lips connected and you felt the hesitance as he pressed his lips lightly against yours, at first. But, soon, you felt an urgency that deepened the kiss. You back was full against the wall now, the coats bending with you, some just barely hanging onto their hangers. 

A knock sounded at the door and he immediately pulled away. Light flooded into the coat closet and Yoongi was gone before you could even blink. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The fourth time Min Yoongi broke your heart was the day of graduation when he found you crying in a coat closet. The graduation party was nearly over, and Yoongi had come early to grab his coat and leave. 

"What happened?" he asked, his fists clenching as he took in your crumpled form and mascara running down your face. 

"He broke up with me," you said, between sobs. 

Those were the only words Yoongi needed to hear. He rushed away from the closet, leaving the door wide open. Before you could even stand up, you heard commotion in the main hall. You ran there as quickly as you could while trying to dodge other party goers and staff. 

"What the Hell?!" you heard your ex-boyfriend say. Yoongi had him shoved against a wall, his forearm against your ex's throat. 

"Do you even know how lucky you were?" Yoongi asked. "You're a dumbass for letting go of her in the first place, but on graduation day?!" 

Yoongi punched him then, making your ex's nose bleed and Yoongi's knuckles. 

"No!" you shouted as your ex squared up. You couldn't stand to see Yoongi's perfect skin marred because of you. But it was too late. He landed a square punch right into Yoongi's eye, causing a deep purple bruise to break out almost immediately. 

Before Yoongi could retaliate the staff intervened and put a stop to the fight, pushing both of the boys in separate directions and eventually telling both of them to go home. 

Yoongi drove you home and you gave him ice for the black eye. You leaned down and kissed him on the cheek before he pulled away. 

"Thank you."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The last time Min Yoongi broke your heart was when he admitted he loved you. He stood in front of your apartment, flowers in hand, and a nervous smile. 

"Min Yoongi, you have the absolute worse timing," you said, tears coming to your eyes. "You're leaving for Seoul tomorrow." 

"I know," he said. "I couldn't leave without telling you." 

"I wish you hadn't" you said, closing the door. 

You knew he could hear you sobbing. He knew you knew he was still outside your apartment door. He was leaving and you had a life in Daegu, family, friends, a life. You couldn't leave that all behind like he could. 

"Y/N," he said through the door. "I have to catch my flight soon, but I'm going to leave the flowers for you. I've loved you since second grade, and I know I was never good at showing it. And I know now is a bad time, I realize that, but I needed you to know."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

A few weeks later you came home to a package outside your door. It was postmarked from Seoul, but there was no return sender. You were hesitant to open it, but curiosity soon overtook your worry.

Inside--wrapped in a horrid amount of tissue paper--was a single green crayon.

Sutures - Chapter Six: Locked In Love

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): mentions of sex, therapy, being chased by a cop (no violence occurs)

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

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"Hello?" you said, as Skype connected you to your client. He said he was a college student in the emails you'd exchanged. When his face appeared on the screen you smiled and waved politely. He bowed, which looked awkward over the screen, but it made you laugh. "Kim Jinwoo?"

"Yes!" he said, his eyes widening his eyebrows brushing the ends of his hair which lay over his forehead. "Nice to meet you, Teacher."

"Please call me, Sumi," you said. "No need for the formality." 

He nodded.

"So, today I'm not going to go over much English with you, but I want to ask you a few questions just to get to know you and find out how I can best teach you."

You opened up your notebook where you had previously written down the questions you wanted to ask. It would certainly be possible to have your clients fill out a form with all of this information beforehand, but you liked to ease into it and allow them to get comfortable. You couldn't help but smile when you felt the familiar weight of the pen in your hand, something familiar in such an unfamiliar place. 

"Why are you learning English?"

"I'm studying abroad in America in a couple of months," he said. "I want to have a good grasp on the language before then." 

You nodded and wrote down his answer. "Have you ever taken an English class before?"

"The required ones in school," he said.

You continued on with the questions pausing only to write them down. Your first meeting went well and you waved goodbye to the boy. He smiled at you, his lips full and his teeth white. 

"I'm excited to begin our sessions," he said. "I wasn't expecting my tutor to be someone my age."

"I'm still older than you," you said, laughing. "Even if it is only a year." 

The boy joined in your laughter. "I'll send you my schedule so we can set up our next meeting."

"Sounds good."

"I'm looking forward to it," Jinwoo said, his voice slightly deeper than before. "Noona."

---

You and Yoongi sat on a plush love seat. Each of you clinging to either arm to prevent your thighs or arms from brushing. Yoongi barely looked at you; his face settled in a pout. 

"So," the therapist said. "I've already talked with both of you individually and now we will focus on dual therapy. If either of you needs individual counseling, feel free to contact me."

The therapist was a young woman, older than both you and Yoongi, but too young to be either of your mothers. She had a friendly smile and a voice that cut through the air like a knife through butter; but you still found yourself fiddling with your fingers, digging your fingernails into the skin of your fingertips. 

You'd thought about bringing your knitting needles giving yourself somewhat of an escape from the stagnant air surrounding you, but you didn't want to be rude. So, rather, you stewed in the stagnant air.

"Have you had your first urge yet?" The therapist's pen was poised on the notebook and her eyes flicked between both of you. 

"Y-yes," you both managed to say. 

"The first one is usually the hardest to control. Were you able to stop things before they went too far?"

"We didn't have sex if that's what you mean," Yoongi said. Your eyes widen and you want nothing more than to sink into the couch cushions. "Other than when we first met."

The therapist nods and writes something down on her notepad. "This will continue to be difficult for both of you, which is why it's important to have a close relationship, even though the end goal is to break this biological bond between you. What would each of you say is the hardest part so far?"

You both remained quiet. You still fiddled with your fingers wishing now that you'd brought your needles along. You felt a warmth come over your left hand briefly. You caught the sight of Yoongi's hand moving back to rest in his lap. His gaze, however, was still on you and your now still hands, his momentary warmth calming your restless limbs. 

"We don't really know each other," Yoongi said. "We met only a few days ago and it's hard to find comfort in each other if we don't really know each other. And--"

"And we both got cheated on," you said. "It's hard to trust someone again."

Yoongi's gaze was on you again, burning a hole in your profile. You secretly wanted to reach out for his hand again and cling to it, because even if you weren't friends, even if you hated each other, there was still something that made you feel safe when your hand was in his. 

"That's understandable," the therapist said. "Why don't each of you plan a date? Don't look at as a romantic gesture, just something you can do together to get to know each other a little better." 

You nodded, but Yoongi shifted uncomfortably beside you. 

"I thought the point was the break whatever bond there is."

She nodded towards Yoongi. "It is," she said. "But, you have to remember it's imperative to build an emotional connection with each other, because as the biological bond breaks it can cause severe mental health issues, which is why I'm here to help you. If you have a separate emotional bond, even just as friends, it will make severing the biological bond easier."

You and Yoongi nodded and you felt as he relaxed back down into the couch. Despite saying he didn't know you well, it seemed like he didn't want to know you.

Yet, you remember waking up that morning on the couch in his studio. At first, you didn't know where you were, not able to see much in the dark, but then you caught the faint glow of the computer screen and Yoongi's huddled shape in the chair. A blanket curled around his form and he clicked away aimlessly on the desktop, unknowingly bouncing his head to a beat you couldn't hear. 

It was early in the morning. He either had gotten up early to work or had stayed in the studio with you the whole night. You weren't sure which was worse. 

"You must be careful not to develop romantic feelings because the bond can still break and if someone has lingering feelings, it can cause them to continue to experience the withdrawals, which often in those cases is deadly."

You glanced at each other and smiles broke on both of your faces, the previous tension in the room dissipating into the air.

"I don't think that will be a problem."

---

It didn't take you long to figure out what you wanted to do with Yoongi on your "date". You saw him slouch as soon as the two of you stepped onto the bus. He'd worn a hat and a mask attempting to hide his identity as much as he could. You couldn't help but crack a smile at the way the boy sat at the very back of the bus. You sat beside him, the rough fabric of his black jeans brushing against the bare skin of your knees.

Even though it wasn't a real date, there was part of you that wanted to date again. Not Yoongi or anyone in particular, you just wanted to feel cared for again. You wanted to have someone who would wrap their hands around yours when you didn't have your knitting needles and felt anxious, someone to tell you everything will be okay. Another side of you wanted to be single, you'd been with Minki for three years, you'd forgotten what it was like to be alone.

The bus neared your stop and you softly tapped Yoongi's knee to signal it was nearly time to get off. The bus pulled into the stop and the two of you climbed off. 

"We'll walk the rest of the way," you said. "It's not far."

"Would it have killed you to use one of the company cars?" he asked.

"This is my date," you said. "Now come on."

You were in central Seoul in the middle of the city and you felt Yoongi tense beside you. You looped your arm through his and walked in the direction of Namsan Tower. 

"Hey!" he said, his arm squirming in your grip. "If someone gets a picture, this will look bad."

"We'll just look like a normal couple," you said. "If anything they'll pay less attention to you." 

Yoongi sighed, his arm relaxing. You heard a small grunt of disbelief from underneath his mask, but he relented and allowed you to interlock your elbow with his. 

You approached Namsan Tower--a large arrow-shaped building that jutted out from the middle of the city--and felt the wave of deja vu wash over you. The last time you were here you were gripping Minki's hand, a smile on both of your faces. You weren't really happy, you didn't realize it then, of course. You always told yourself Minki was the one, you told yourself that Minki was perfect. But, if the boy next to you now was any indication, you'd been lying to yourself. 

"Don't tell me we're doing one of those stupid lock things," Yoongi said as the two of you entered the elevator and you pressed the button for the second floor. 

"No," you said. "We're removing one."

---

When you got to the Locks of Love, there was more than you remember, locks running all along the rooftop deck. There were so many locks it looked as if the walls of the observation deck were made from the locks. 

Despite the mass of locks, it didn't take you long to find the one you and Minki had picked out. It was near the top of the short wall, pale pink in color with yours and Minki's initials written on it and a heart drawn around them. The rain had caused the Sharpie to fade slightly, but the initials were still clearly visible.

You removed a bobby pin from your hair, a shorter piece of your hair falling into your face. You tucked it behind your ear and wiggled the bobby pin into the lock. 

"I'm guessing you didn't keep the key?"

You smiled sheepishly and laughed at your own stupidity. "We threw it in the Han."

Even though Yoongi still wore a mask, you could see his plump lips forming a smirk underneath it. 

"What?" you asked. "We thought we were in love."

"You weren't?"

You sighed. "I don't know. I at least thought I was." 

Yoongi didn't react, but you felt his eyes watching intently as you wiggled the bobby pin back and forth, trying to get the lock to release. After a few minutes of struggling, Yoongi stepped in front of you, his keys in his hand. 

"Sometimes if you have a similar key you can trick the lock into unlocking," he said. He tried a few of his keys, a small one eventually slipping in the lock. He jostled it, but to no avail. 

"How do you know that?"

He raised his eyebrow. "You really want to know that?"

You noticed a few people looking at the two of you suspiciously. The last thing you needed was attention, it was a risk to come to such a busy place with Yoongi anyway. You nervously turned the bobby pin around in your fingers.

"You think if we just pulled on it long enough it would come off?"

You laughed, only causing more eyes to dart your way. You sighed and tried the bobby pin again, not managing to unlock the lock. Frustrated, you threw it to the ground. 

"I should've made a copy of the key," you said. "I couldn't have been so stupid to think it would really last?"

You knew you had been that stupid. You thought Minki was the one even though the moths in your stomach always told you differently. 

"Hey!" you heard someone shout from the other end of the deck. "You can't remove those!"

You noticed the man--a cop--run towards the two of you and before you could process what was happening, you were running down the stairs and back down to the street.

At some point, your hand had fallen into Yoongi's. His hand gripped yours tightly as you followed only slightly behind him. You eventually fell into the crowd of central Seoul and ducked into an alleyway. 

You both breathed heavily and Yoongi pulled down his mask to breathe more freely. His lips and face red, his lips in a pout. His hand still holding yours and your bodies mere inches apart, feeling each other's warmth. 

"I'm so sorry," you said. "I didn't realize it was illegal and I thought it might be therapeutic to remove it. If we get caught, I'll take the blame, cause you're an idol and I've already caused you too much trouble..."

Yoongi laughed. "Shhhh, we'll get caught if you keep rambling." He let go of your hand and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. His chin rested comfortably on the crown of your head. His heart beat against your ear, in near rhythm with your own. 

"Don't worry about the lock," he said, whispering, his breath tickling the skin of your ear. "Just because it's there doesn't mean anything. You don't have to love him, or ever have."

His arms loosen around you and you look up at him. You'd never seen him like this before; his voice deep and calm, his eyes calm and kind, his fingers lightly twisting the ends of your hair. His skin shone in the dimly lit alley and his back was against the wall. 

"I think we're safe, now," he said. "I'll get us a taxi." He pulled the mask back up and held his arm out for you, allowing you to loop your arm through his again. 

You walk down the street to find a taxi, most of which were full in the late afternoon. People push past you and vendors yell out their prices to potential costumers. You don't pay much attention to anyone or anything as you walk, but your eyes flit to a newsstand with its glossy magazine covers and airbrushed celebrities. 

You suddenly catch sight of your face on the top right of a magazine cover. It was next to Yoongi's. You stopped, even the tug of Yoongi's arm didn't startle you from your thoughts. 

You picked up the cover and felt tears coming to your eyes as you take in the headline, "Jang Sumi Cheated On Her Long Time Boyfriend With Min Yoongi?!" A small mention of Yoongi's ex was mentioned as well. 

"Sumi," Yoongi's voice cut through your thoughts. "Come on, I'll explain everything in the taxi." 

He tugged on your hand lightly and after a moment you place the magazine back on its rack and follow him, his hand completely enveloping yours. His hand was your only anchor in the choppy sea. 

Eventually, Yoongi manages to wave down a taxi and the two of you climb in. His hand leaves yours as he tells the driver directions and suddenly you are overboard. 

Everything that had threatened to spill over on the street now spilled over on your cheeks. You turned away from Yoongi, quickly wiping away the hot tears, wondering why it seemed you always cried in front of him when he was the last person you wanted to see you cry. 

"I didn't want to tell you," he said. "I was hoping it would die down before you found out." He paused, taking a deep breath. You turned to face him, it was barely evident you had cried at all, but you felt some tears still threatening to spill over. "After everything with the shoes, Minki's been saying some things. He's saying you were still in a relationship with him when you slept with me. Don't worry, we haven't confirmed anything, most people think he's just a jealous ex, and intend to keep it that way, okay?"

"Everyone knows we slept together?" you asked. "They think I cheated?"

Yoongi reached out and moved the piece of hair your bobby pin freed and tucked it behind your ear. "I'm going to take care of it," he said. "Don't worry, everything will be over when we come back from Japan."

You nodded, wishing more than ever you'd saved the key, so you could unlock the lock and destroy it. Never having to think about Minki again. 

left on read // jjk

it’s a good day to save lives and a beautiful day to ruin his.

+ 

as surgeons, who has time for friends or love? at all costs, jungkook is determined to prove otherwise.

navi | m. list | ask me ! | add yourself to my taglist !

pairing: jungkook + oc

au/genre: enemies to friends to lovers?? hospital au, crack, grumpy/overachiever oc, social butterfly/annoying jungkook!!!

warnings: an unhealthy amount of needing the validation of others, competitive dynamics, and explicit language

parts: 30 / 30 (02/14/22)

note: tbh this fic was planned before casual (ToT)” it’s ok. we’re here now kekeke. pls enj this series! + welcome back to my sad attempt of consistent updates !!! 

Keep reading

Give Me Love | Part 1 (m)

• fratboy!jimin x reader

• Word count: 6139

• Genre: college au, enemies with benefits to lovers

• Summary: Your relationship with Park Jimin was complicated to say the least, but when the circumstances change and you can no longer keep him at an arms length, you find yourself drawn to him more than you thought possible.

• warnings: Swearing, sexual content.

 - Give Me Love Masterlist - 

Continuar lendo

Give Me Love | Masterlist

series inspired by: Chase Atlantic - Friends + Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran + Horse to Water - Tall Heights

genre: fratboy!jimin / enemies with benefits to lovers

includes: angst, smut, fluff.

summary: Your relationship with Park Jimin was complicated to say the least, but when the circumstances change and you can no longer keep him at an arms length, you find yourself drawn to him more than you thought possible.

→ teaser 

→  Part 1 (m)

→  Part 2 (m)

→  Part 3 (m)

→  Part 4

→  Part 5

→  Part 6

→ Part 7

→ Part 8

→ Epilogue (m)

bonus oneshots/drabbles:

→ hide and seek (prequel)

Full series warnings (potential spoilers):

explicit sexual content/unprotected sex, drinking, mentions of death, mentions of (verbally) abusive behaviour, mentions of inappropriate drug use/overdose, (none of the main characters participate in drug use), infidelity, jealousy, lots of angst and fluff.

mini playlist here

Love, Rekindled.

teaser : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : apx. 30k (one-shot)

release date : saturday, july 18, 8pm EST

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol

=============================

another jk fics cuz im in love with him so much! this has been a pretty long project, i hope yall will enjoy! please wait for the release, check my masterlist here and let me know what you think in the comment or ask box, as that really motivates me! 💜💌 

Stay safe, all!

Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : 32.780 (one-shot)

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol enjoy! 

=====================================

Working directly after you graduate in one of the biggest fast moving consumer goods companies in the country might be the dream. While to an extent it might be true, you realize that you have so many things to sacrifice—including your sanity and personal life.

So one dawn you spent all night working on the procurement report you have to submit to the finance team in just five hours, you are so distressed you bawl your eyes out so hard you feel like it is about to fall off. You were too loud to the point that Namjoon, your roommate, was awakened and had to console and accompany you, finishing the report for another hour until you could finally sleep.

And the next morning when you wake up after only three hours of sleep, you have to drive early in the morning to submit the signed reports to the finance team. You are not ecstatic to say the least. Not only that you had the worst night and don’t have the time to conceal your excessive eye bags, you have to submit the physical report to the most notorious, annoying person to ever exist—Jeon Jungkook.

You don’t even understand why destiny had to be that cruel to pair you with Jungkook for a tad bit too many of your tasks. He is annoying, self-centered, impolite, and probably the worst person that you have ever worked with. And it is quickly proven when you are going to submit the report and stride to his desk, finding he is still calmly typing on the laptop. Irritated by how divine he looks at eight in the morning compared with your hideous self, you slam the report right beside his laptop.

“Here it is. And once again thank you for making me change every fucking numbers in that report right the night before.” You hisses, folding your arms in front of your chest. He looks up to you with a grin, his fingers swiftly opening the report.

“I’m sorry, dear but if you wanna complain, you can directly do it to your boss.” He chuckles lightheartedly, and you roll your eyes in disgust. How can he still be this composed is beyond you. “And besides, it’s your team who mistakenly input the data. How is it my fault?”

“I can actually give you an essay for that as an answer, but I don’t want to violate the rules since we are now in working hours.” You harshly respond, tapping your feet impatiently while his eyes are skimming the report.

Another five minutes until Jungkook closes the report with a loud tap and smirk in mirth at your obvious disconcert. “So is that an invitation for a meet-up outside working hours?”

You hiss after hearing such an expected sentence coming out from the jerk. He really is that self-centered, and it shouldn’t have baffled you by now. “I hope you are very well aware that you are annoying and I don’t like you.”

“I am aware of that, beautiful. You have explicitly reminded me in every email chain—better tell me something I don’t know.”

“Nah, I don’t have anything good to say for you.” You scoff and stomp your heels around to leave him behind. The fury is still booming inside your head, so you repetitively let go of your breath, trying to detox your mind of his annoying, but forsakenly handsome face of that jerk out of your mind.

After arriving at your desk, you throw your belongings on the desk and sit on your seat after sighing loudly. It immediately attracts the attention of one of the team peers who sits beside you, Hoseok.

“Wow. Why the long face, Y/N? It’s Friday, lighten up a little.”

“I literally cannot ‘lighten up’ if I keep on working with Jeon Jungkook. Is there any way I can just… not see him or contact him even just for a day? Or even better, forever?!” You hiss while raucously opening your laptop. Hoseok chuckles in amusement.

“Y/N, I don’t know why you are so against the guy. Yes, I know he might be a little cocky—”

“A little?!” You immediately cut Hoseok, but he has been in this conversation too many times before to know that he needs to continue before you begin your patriotic speech of why Jungkook doesn’t deserve anything good in his life.

“—but he is not that bad. People, especially girls like the guy. He is great looking, charming and good with words. One of the best in his team too, even with such short time joining the company I even heard he might be promoted soon. I think you should give him a chance.” Hoseok shrugs.

You huff and stare at Hoseok in heavy betrayal painted in your face. “That’s not going to happen, Hoseok. Yes, I know people might be blind and think so highly of that cocky ass jerk, but you are my friend and should be educated about not seeing one person only by the assumption of other people. Jungkook is not as good as everyone thinks he is.”

“But why? I know you, Y/N. And I know this is not hatred only based on work—there is something else that happened.” Hoseok calmly speaks his mind, but it successfully throws you off guard. Not that you want to admit it, you are well aware that the dislike you got for the guy is not majorly caused by professional work. But you’d rather bite your hand off rather than voluntarily telling it to someone else.

Seeing how silent you have become, Hoseok immediately turns aghast. “Just a shot in the dark... Did you sleep with this guy before?”

The thought immediately puts you to shame and your face turns vermillion. God, how can he say that?! “What are you saying?!” You squeal in alarm, and you do realize you are too shocked to even speak clearly right now. Damn Hoseok and his outstanding deduction skill! “You are talking nonsense now, Hobi. Why-why would—fuck this I’m going to the restroom.”

You can hear Hoseok's distinctive laughter behind you when you stride towards the restroom, and the desire to knock your head to the wall is too much. You are literally fucked.

*

After working hours, you are finally able to escape the office and ask Namjoon to accompany you and eat in your favorite steak restaurant near both your offices. Namjoon looks at you munching on your steak like a starved woman while silently sipping his glass of red wine.

“Well, I never understood how people say they can get full only by seeing someone else eat, but I kinda get it now.”

You glare at him and hiss, stabbing the steak with your fork in pique. “Stop bothering me! I hate it. I hate everything! Work sucks, life sucks, everything sucks. And I literally don’t have any friends to hangout on friday night beside my own roommate whom I see nearly 24/7. I really had no life beside work it’s embarrassing—”

Namjoon winces, and you immediately halt every movement and stare at him in shock. You know that gaze. It literally screams apology and regret.

“About that…”

You gasp and smash your utensils in the table that few other people are glancing weirdly your way, but you cannot care enough about those prodding eyes. “No! You can’t do this to me, Namjoon! You are ditching me tonight, aren’t you?!”

He grimaces. “I’m sorry, Y/N but I promised the guys for drinking tonight. It’s already planned since god knows when, I can’t bail on them.” You sigh, massaging your aching temple. Noticing how upset you’ve been—probably due to the possibility of ending the stressful weekend only in your pajamas watching bad tv shows, Namjoon quickly continues. “But you can come if you want! We would love to have you there.”

You suddenly put your hand together, moving closer to Namjoon in vivid interest. There’s a possibility to drink your pain away tonight and you are all down for it. “I would love to! I am so stressed lately, I desperately need an outlet. I am going crazy for this work and another second just sitting around I will go mad. And I would love to hangout with the guys! It’s Seokjin, Hoseok, and the others right?!”

“Yeah… about that.” Namjoon’s hesitance is too obvious that you immediately squint your eyes in suspicion. “Yes, I’m with those guys. But there is one additional person joining us and… you won’t like it.”

You giggle at his concern, easily shrugging it away. “Who? I don’t think so, Namjoon. Don’t underestimate me, I may not be as friendly or outgoing as you are, but I can manage to meet new people well and—”

“It’s Jeon Jungkook.”

You immediately close your eyes and heave a breath, your fingers are gripping hard on the edge of the table until Namjoon literally had to move his chair a step back out of fright. It is not the first time he had to face your immeasurable wreath, and it is literally not a good sight he’d do anything to avoid it to happen ever again.

“Why?! In what circumstances would you ever hang out with that bastard?!”

“It just happened! Jimin is friends with the guy, both are from the same department as well. He is new and nice—to us, at least.” He quickly adds before you go into a screaming match yet again. “It’s harmless! And he needs friends too, Y/N. He is new in the city, and doesn't have many friends. I still have no idea how you can even hate the guy when he literally just entered his four months in town.”

You look up to Namjoon aloofly. Jungkook has no friends? What happened to the jerk you knew a few years back? He seemed to be doing well with his bunch of jerks he called as friends. “Pssh—I don’t really care about that. Just do whatever you want!” You childishly pout and continue in stabbing your steak. You know that with Namjoon you can always count on him being a brother that would gladly endure your annoying traits and childishness.

“Hey, I am sorry. Don’t be mad, okay? What if we get ice cream tomorrow, hmm?” He kindly persuades and then you are unable to prolong your fake burst. There is no way you can stay mad at him, as he is literally a heaven-sent angel to you. You don’t even know how you can stay sane if it weren’t for your kind roommate.

“M‘kay. But you’re paying and I am taking home a litre of shooting star ice cream.”

Namjoon sighs and you giggle at his easy forfeit. “You are neither easy on the eyes nor to my wallet. I hope you understand how generous I am to still want to participate in this friendship.”

“By the way, have you seen VoE email this afternoon?” Namjoon nonchalantly asks, smiling to the waitress that places his own steak. You meekly shake your head, cause ain’t nobody got time to read another email from the Voice of Employee team. You already arranged your inbox neatly and automated those emails to be placed inside the folder which named ‘emails i probably will never read ever in this lifetime’. “I shouldn’t have asked, of course you haven’t.” He continues, unimpressed and you grin devilishly at that.

“So, they announced the new employee engagement event. This year’s event is kind of a blind pen pal thingy that is arranged by Jimin.” Namjoon explains while cutting his steak in boxes. “Albeit lame, I thought it was kind of interesting. You should join, you know?”

“Pen pal?” You scrunch your eyebrow. The idea is not appalling even a little to you. “Really? What year does he think it is?”

“It could be fun! You know it must be nice meeting new people across the company. Funny that they also recommend the participant to hide their identities and stay anonymous while chatting at least for the first few weeks.”

“What? That’s so lame! Why do they have these kinds of things?!” You giggle and shake your head in.

“Actually, because people like you, Y/N. You said yourself that you had no friends and life outside work. It could be great to meet someone new and talk freely, even in the company. It’s also good that it’s anonymous in the first weeks so people won't be judgy and busy talking about work stuff and making friends instead.” Namjoon replies back and you pretend hurt at the truth shoved at your face.

“Ouch! That hurts.” You jokingly wince but nonetheless shrug. “I think it kinda made sense, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Oh, come on! It can't be that bad.” Namjoon groans at your stubbornness. “You know you have to pick an employee engagement event. If you choose to go with your boss for the fishing competition event when you know he’ll talk about work all the time, I’ll gladly say go for it. And you literally can’t even boil water, there’s no way you’ll be joining the ‘masterchef’ event. Or that singing competition! Are you kidding me? No way.”

You sigh at the reminder since Namjoon is indeed correct. There’s no way you’d be joining the other engagement events since you are talentless in nearly any other area, and whilst pretending you can cook might be interesting, the possibility of burning the whole kitchen is not since you are not risking the lives of others because of your carelessness. And singing is the one you already gave up on. You are not embarrassing yourself and be the joke of the year in front of your boss and colleagues.

“Gosh..I hate it when you are correct. I’ll think about it later, okay?” You frustratedly hiss, ruffling your hair in distress. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

After another half an hour chatting while you finish your food, you and Namjoon quickly pay with another dramatic debate of which one of you will pay. After humorlessly swearing that you will twist his figurine if he still insists on paying, you easily win the debate and pay instead.

“So, are you going straight to the bar?” You inquire after walking out of the restaurant. Namjoon hums and swiftly picks the phone from his pocket, checking his friend’s current whereabouts.

“Nope, I think they should be here anytime soon, but—”

“Namjoon! Y/N!”

Both of your eyes quickly divert to three guys coming your way. It’s Jimin’s jovial voice calling your name, Hoseok beside him and… Jungkook. The huff instinctively comes out of your mouth after noticing the guy wearing a blue navy buttoned up shirt who irritatingly still looks too good for him. Noticing that Jungkook’s intense gaze is never diverted from you, you quickly shift your face somewhere else.

“You guys finished the dinner?” Jimin asks and you nod with a smile. “Ah, long time talking to you again, Y/N! I am sad we don’t get to work together again.”

You giggle, definitely sensing the irony in his sentence. The fact that he is assigned to another project in Finance was the biggest turning hill in your career, as it was also the point you were introduced to Jeon Jungkook, as the new hire who replaced him and whom you would be working closely with. You don’t even want to remember how stricken and betrayed you felt at that time.

“Yup, true.” You quickly smile and clearly avoid both Jungkook whom you detect is still staring at you and Hoseok who is literally glancing at Jungkook staring at you. This is getting ridiculous and you detest each awkward second spent with these men.

“Hey! You guys know that we are sending the last reminder for choosing an employee event!” Jimin suddenly chirps and you wince. “I noticed you guys haven’t been picking yours.”

“Last reminder? I thought it was just announced this afternoon.” Namjoon innocently asks while scratching his temple. Jimin instantly sighs in distress.

“I began sending it two weeks ago, Namjoon. Damn it!” He hisses and Namjoon immediately points at you.

“Y/N didn’t even read the email!” You slap his shoulder quickly in embarrassment. Jimin looks at you in disappointment and you smile, inevitably guilty for him.

“You guys are such a pain in the ass. I’ll be waiting for your emails monday morning. And please do pick the pen pal option arranged by me!” He singsongs proudly. You nod dubiously. “There’s a lot in store and I can guarantee you it would be very fun!”

You are still nodding, before looking to Namjoon. Freaking Jungkook is still reading you like you are a book, so you need to head out fast before anything unwanted happens. “So, I think I’ll head out first. You guys have fun—”

“Let’s go together! I parked in our usual.” Namjoon says and you briskly nod, your legs are desperate to put distance between you and Jungkook’s intense and unnecessary stare. You bite your tongue to hold yourself from snapping. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy?!

“Namjoon, Jungkook is going with you, he didn’t bring his car. Hoseok is pooling with me, we need to stop somewhere first.” Jimin nonchalantly mentions but you are immediately struck. Why?! Why would Jungkook pool with Namjoon? It means that you are going to spend another five minutes walking to your car parked in the basement where you’ll have to spend an elevator ride with him. Ugh, even the thought repulses you.

“Let’s go. Seokjin and Yoongi are already on the way to the bar and ten bucks say Yoongi is cranky as fuck now.” Hoseok wriggles his eyebrows at you. You reponds by mouthing him curse words as you know what he is implying. He is clearly having fun at your misery.

“Y/N, let’s go.” Namjoon quickly intercepts your clear avoidance for Jungkook by pulling you by the elbow. He gestures Jungkook to follow behind the two of you.

It was only uncomfortable silence even inside the lift that descends to the parking lot. You are this close to Jungkook, but you are still feeling his wary glances on your skin. It is too much of a burden and your last string snaps, unable to hold yourself.

“Is there something on my face?” You spit at him. Jungkook immediately looks away. Instead of answering with another trash reply, he decides to stay silent. Well, that’s new.

“So, tomorrow we need to choose an employee event. Can I sign you up for the pen pal one?” Namjoon asks suddenly, probably trying to take your minds off things, especially the fury you have for Jungkook.

“Namjoon, I don’t think so. At this rate I think I’ll just join that fishing one.”

Suddenly, an unexpected voice behind you is heard. “I don’t know, but they say fishing needs patience and you clearly are lacking that one, Y/N.”

You immediately throw your head back and glare at Jungkook. He nonchalantly looks back like he did not just diss you. “The fuck you say?!”

“I said what I said. I thought you’d know that by now.” He smiles civilly, and you just know he is the one begging you to snap and scratch your claws at him.

“Come here you little shit—“

Namjoon instantly holds you by the waist, stopping all your movement. “Y/N, don’t! Let’s go now.” He reliably holds you and leads you back to your car until Jungkook is safely out of your sight.

“Y/N, enough. It doesn’t matter. Just go home and take some rest.” He persuades and you have to take multiple breathes in and out to calm yourself. “I know you are angry but please don’t run him with your car.” He jokes, but you immediately form a chilling smirk with your lips.

“That’s a great idea, actually.” You vigorously pat your wheels.

“Y/N, I was joking, please—“

You giggle at his clear fright. “I’m joking too. I’m okay, Namjoon. He was just being a jerk again. I got used to it. That’s not even the most hurtful thing he said to me. I’m fine.”

Namjoon heaves a breath and moves to pat your head with a grin. “You gave me a fright, you fool. Drive save, okay? Let me know when you’re home.”

You hum and Namjoon moves to close your door. You move your car and catch Jungkook standing on the side. He was waving at you with a condescending smile, the one you answer by flipping him off.

*

It’s been nearly two in the morning. You are exhausted, but your body is still too much alive to be sleeping right now. At times, your body is still accustomed to your college routine when you’d only be sleepy when there’s still so much to do. Usually at these times, you would be watching movies with Namjoon, commenting on every single thing you can comment about the movie while he’d do anything to shut you up.

Already going to the sixth episode of your netflix series, you glance at your phone. Speaking of Namjoon, you notice that he hasn’t given you any signs of going back home. He always does, especially when drinking out with friends. The thought suddenly scares you that something might have happened to him, so you quickly dial his number.

Three beeps and finally someone picks up. “Hello? Namjoon? Where are you? Are you not coming home? If you’re not you should’ve told me sooner!”

An incoherent groan is heard along with a faint voice of someone you’d rather not mention. Another seconds of silence until an abrupt deafening, slurry voice is heard. It’s still him. Jeon Jungkook. “Y/N, can you help us? Namjoon passed out and I am not completely sober enough to drive. Come here and get us, please?”

“Ugh, get a taxi! It’s freaking two in the morning, I don’t want to go.” You groan, even if inside you are contemplating. Namjoon is drunk, and he brought his car with him. You’ll not be able to sleep if knowing he is out there drunk and in need of help. “Where are the others? Can’t they get you home?”

Five seconds of awkward whimpering of Jungkook babies himself, refusing to give Namjoon’s phone to someone else. It turns out to be Yoongi, also your workmate from IT. ”Y/N? Y/N! I am so happy you picked up. Can you get these guys? Everyone here beside me is drunk, and this petite body of mine can only take Hoseok and Jimin since they’re in my building as well. Can you please get your huge ass roommate home?”

You sigh, aloofly agreeing to help Yoongi. The place they are drinking is not far from your apartment, so not even bothering to change your peppa pig pajamas, you overlay it with a peach sweater and hitch a taxi right after.

Not even fifteen minutes on the way you finally arrive. The bar itself was rather vacant, the music has changed, and you can immediately detect a group of moron on the corner booth of the bar, looking severely drunk. Detecting your presence, Yoongi instantly lightens up.

“Y/N! Y/N thank god.” Yoongi exhales. “I really fucking desprate to go home. Can you bring Namjoon and Jungkook together? Jungkook lives near your apartment, and he is not that drunk. Just drop him off in front of his buildings, or whatever.”

You groan in distaste. “Really? I really have to bring this guy with me?” You peer your squinted eyes at Jungkook who is limping to stand beside you.

Jungkook rests his palm on your shoulder with an intoxicated smile, wiggling his eyebrows. “Yes. Let me come along, Y/N. I promise we’ll have fun, hmm?”

You instantly push him away in disgust, the empathy you surprisingly have for him has disappeared into thin air. “I’m not getting in any car with you, jackass. Have a great time sleeping on the street.”

Yoongi groans at your stubbornness. It is not an uncommon sight as he is already well informed of your bad blood with Jungkook. “Y/N, for the love of god please stop arguing with a drunk idiot and lets just go fucking home.”

Still scowling, you move to wake up Namjoon, circling his arms around your shoulder. Jungkook is somehow still sober enough to voluntarily help you carrying the giant to his car. After safely securing Namjoon on the back, you stride to the driver seat and Jungkook follows to sit on the passenger seat  beside you. Driving out, it was only cold silence inside the car that you have to glance to see if Jungkook is asleep. It turns out he is not sleeping, instead catching him stealing glances at you.

“What the hell are you looking at?” You frown at him. He shrugs, diverting his eyes to the window. Another three minutes of silence until he opens his voice.

“Are you dating Namjoon?”

You stare at him, befuddled. What the fuck is he prattling about? “I am quite certain it is none of your business. Why are you asking anyway?”

“Nothing, just a question. You don’t have to answer.” He somberly responds, not mimicking the edge in your tone the way you expect him to. It leaves a sour taste in your tongue, feeling guilty in such a strange way.

“Namjoon and the other asked me why we hate each other so much.”

At the sudden information, your body tense. Namjoon asked him? Did he possibly tell the guys about what happened between the two of you? Even the thought only scares your whole being. “And what did you say?”

He heaves a deep breath once again. “I said I don’t not hate you. You may hate me, but I never hate you.”

The answer and his tone is astoundingly civil, so you glance at him in confusion. Hard to believe it is him talking right now. “What are you saying?”

He massages his temple. “I never hate you, Y/N. I know. I know what happened between us. And even if it’s too late, I know I was wrong and you have all rights to be furious at me.”

The fingers you have on the wheel tightens. You don’t know why you feel this way. The moment Jungkook acknowledges the mistakes he has made, it seems like everything shifts into a different light. You bit your lips in irresolution. Is it actually you who is too irrational not to let go something that is clearly in the past?

As if not realizing your current distress, Jungkook continues. “I know there is no time we’re not at each other’s throat, but I always wanted to ask how you’ve been. Are you living okay? How is your family, is everything good now?”

At his questions, you find yourself snapped. You don’t need it. You don’t need his sympathy. All things he said are never going to change what he did, and frankly it is too hard to imagine he might have changed. You had enough of him and his bullshit and one thing you will never do is to repeat history again. You are not that much of an idiot.

“Save it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.” You shakily say, the tears are already swarming at the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had it enough. I am not going back again to that phase again. You hurt me, bad. And I’m not an idiot whom you can fool around with and will be there at your doorstep the moment you want it.”

“Y/N, I—”

You immediately step on the break that jerks everyone inside the car including you. “This is your apartment, right?” If you’re explicit gesture for him to fuck off is not clear, you don’t know what is—but it seems like he understands well enough and reluctantly nods. Releasing his seatbelt, he gazes at you again, eyes swarming with anonymous emotion.

“Just so you know, I never told them anything—what happened between us, I mean. I’ll never say that to anybody. If you still hate me this much, I know it’s not my place to tell.”

You are still unmoving, only looking straight ahead as he dejectedly continues. “I know this is wistful thinking, but I wish we can sometime talk, Y/N. Just talk. Like two people who are not desperate to hurt each other, or to bicker, or anything.”

You shift your head, ironically smirk at him with tears already falling down your face. Talk? Now he wants to talk to you? Does he think you’re a joke? He is a bastard and you should’ve known better than to deal further with him again.

“Well, maybe you’ve lost your chance to talk when you told me to fuck off that time.”

*

After spending all weekend balled up inside your blanket while Namjoon constantly queried you about what happened, it is finally Monday morning. You woke up in a troubled mood, all because the first thing you do in the morning is to prepare for the 8.30 meeting you have with your boss and team, in which one person from finance is invited and it is freaking Jeon Jungkook. You literally have no idea what happened to your luck, since everything seems to be going downhill recently.

Arriving exactly in time, you can see two of your planning teammates, Hoseok and Jungkook are already seated. You greet them and directly take a seat beside Hoseok, silently opening your laptop to prepare the meeting, trying to be as nonchalant as ever. You notice that Jungkook is avoiding your eyes at all costs, and you are grateful for it. Your boss arrives directly in a minute, and then the meeting starts.

An hour into the meeting, your boss finally concludes. While you are arranging your belongings, your boss unexpectedly asks. “Y/N, for the employee engagement. Which one do you choose? If you’re still unsure, you should pick fishing. We can team up, and maybe talk about the project—”

The thoughts alone scares you and you abruptly answer in panic. Inside you are cursing Namjoon and his great predicting skills. “No, sir. I am picking the pen pal one. Might be great to meet and make new friends.”

He nods in understanding, and right after he walks out of the meeting room Hoseok chuckles. “Smart choice, Y/N. Otherwise you'll be stuck discussing work and faking laughs all the time.”

Smiling, you look up to Jungkook who stands near you. You feel the cold of nerves over his intimidating presence.

“Gotta go, talk to you another time.”

He quickly walks out, a tad bit surprising to both you and Hoseok. There is something different about Jungkook—he is not the confident, all-rounders man he used to be. There is a hint of rush in his voice and you might have an idea why.

*

“So, have you received your pen pal username?”

You look up to Namjoon, before re-reading the email Jimin sent to you yesterday about the person you are going to be anonymously chatting with. You’ve already downloaded the chatting applications, signing up yourself yesterday and now it’s you who should add and start the chat.

“Yes. I have, actually.” You breath out, before throwing it back on the sofa. “I don’t even know why I’m nervous! This doesn’t make sense. This is just talking, Y/N. Get your shit together.”

“I am now chatting with a certain person, username doofenshmirtz.” Namjoon mentions while typing on his phone. “I don’t know whether this is a good sign that she or he loves doctor doofenshmirtz or just another heartless jerk like anybody else.”

“Well if it's the preceding, he or she is indeed a keeper.” You hum in agreement, finally braving yourself to add. But now you have to begin the chat! God, this is indeed a struggle. “I am so awkward. What do people usually say to introduce themselves?”

“Well, most people usually go with a simple ‘hello’.”

You sigh at Namjoon’s useless advice, but when you are typing, sudden pop up chats arrive, shocking you altogether.

91snowball : wow, this really work [21:38]

91snowball : tell me if i’m correct or fuck it i’ll just delete this app now [21:39]

“Snowball is chatting with me right now!” You freak out, raise to your knees in tension. “Namjoon, what should I do! I don’t know what to say!”

Namjoon weirdly glances at you, then proceeds to continue whatever he is doing on his phone. “Just say something. Why are you thinking about it too much…”

blueberry_25 : yes i think we are pen pals😅 [21:40]

91snowball : ah, finally [21:40]

91snowball : so get this, blueberry_25. Which one travels faster? hot or cold [21:40]

Your eyebrows wrinkle at the unexpected riddle, but giggle otherwise. “My pen pal just asked me a riddle. Which one travels faster, hot or cold.”

Namjoon groans in disgust. “If the answer is hot because you can catch a cold you better block that person right now. That’s super fucking lame, what the hell.”

blueberry_25 : did you just search ice breaking riddles at google because i read the same one you asked me lol [21:42]

91snowball : wtf haha thats embarrassing but since you did too im fine 🥴 [21:43]

But soon enough, you find yourself chatting to snowball until nearly two in the morning. It is beyond you how easy it is to talk with him, about the recent movies, your unending love for how i met your mother, his addiction to brooklyn nine nine, and a little about each other. You know he is a male around your age (as you decide not to disclose age, just range) and he loves skiing. You tell him about your love of classical and grunge music—in which fascinates him due to the heavy contrast of the two—and ending it with a debate about which music defines puberty the most, my chemical romance or fall out boy. Both of you agree to end it with a draw.

In the end, snowball kindly reminds you you should be sleeping and have a good rest for tomorrow’s work. Reluctantly agreeing, you thank him and say you’re looking forward to the next chat. Even with the exhaustion you feel, you can only fall asleep after reading your exhilarating chat with him for one more time.

You forget how easy it is to talk to someone new. Or maybe you have been trying to forget you ever did.

*

Walking to your desk, you rest all your belongings and open your laptop. Hoseok beside you instantly slides his chair next to yours, eyes squinted and eyebrows scrunched.

“Why the fuck are you singing in nine in the morning, that’s so unlike you.”

You look at him in confusion. Are you singing? You did not even realize. “Oh, am I singing? Sorry if it bothers you, I didn’t know.”

The horrified look in Hoseok’s face is getting prominent. “You literally never apologize in the mornings. You always have a foul mood with an ugly frown on your face. Tell me who kidnapped you! Are you even Y/N?!”

You roll your eyes at his dramatic response. “Yes, I know I haven’t been in the best mood lately, but just let me live, okay? And why is this chocolate on my desk, this is yours.”

Hoseok looks at the ferrero rocher leaning on your desk with the small card on it. “It’s not mine. But let me check.” He swiftly takes the chocolate and pulls the card, his eyes scanning the words written on it. Five seconds passes before the mirth is detected on his face.

“This is not mine, this is for you.”

Flustered, you quickly take the card back from Hoseok’s grasp and read it. Someone is sending you chocolate, along with a hot pack glued on the back, and you don’t have any idea who or why.

It might be a little cold since it’s November soon, so here's a hot pack and also chocolate for you. Hope you’re having a great day today, Y/N!

“Wow, a secret admirer? The fuck, this is 2020–who does that anymore.” Hoseok cringes while getting back to his seat. Even so, he quickly opens his skype with a mischievous smile on his face. What an obvious moron, he giggles to himself.

*

“I told you a million times it is not me, Y/N.”

It is lunch at your office cafeteria, while Namjoon looks at you in distress at your accusation of him sending the chocolate you also bring with you to lunch. Hoseok is silently sitting in front of both of you, with Yoongi and Jimin on both his sides.

“But who else? There is no one supportive enough to send me a chocolate and a freaking hot pack beside you.” You huff while cutting your broccoli. Namjoon sighs, glancing at Hoseok discreetly.

“Even though I’m honored that I’m the only one who is strong enough to be your emotional support, it’s not me, and—“

“Enough about that! Hey, how’s it going with your pen pal?” Jimin suddenly asks, a wide smile on his face. You expect Jimin to ask the question to anyone, so when you notice the table is too silent you find everyone is peering at you.

“Why are you asking me?! Ask Hoseok.”

“It was so so. A man from HR.” Hoseok nonchalantly answers. “And we only introduced ourselves last night.”

“Mine was fine! She’s a girl from procurement.” Namjoon smiles. “But yeah, we just introduced ourselves last night. Maybe I should talk to her again today.”

“I just knew he is a guy. I didn’t really know where he’s from, but he’s around my age. It was great! He was very kind, and we had fun.” You nod silently.

“Fun? You literally were laughing like a hyena at 2 in the morning. I heard it through the wall.” Namjoon snorts and you side-glare him. Namjoon’s loose lips again, what’s new. “I figure it must be your pen pal, right? What ‘fun’ were you having, Y/N?”

“You’re literally disgusting, Namjoon.”

“Hey, Jungkook! Sit here!”

You instantly look up, finding Jungkook’s eyes peering at your desk, a tray of food in his grasp. You don’t really know why, you really thought he was heading to your table—but when his eyes find yours, he immediately pauses on his step. “Ah, sorry but I am here with someone.” He thinly smiles and excuses himself.

Unable to hold yourself, you look to your back and find him sitting with the tables of girls whom you recognize is also in finance. You are not certain if it is only you, but those girls really seem to be too amazed at his presence, instantly leeching themselves to him. Even if it’s not really a strange view to you, it is difficult to hold back your scoff.

Same old, same old.

*

You are waiting in the lobby of your office for Namjoon, since you are not bringing your car with you today. He said he’ll come down soon, so you are waiting patiently—but then a pair catches your attention from the corner of your eyes. It is Jungkook and Seojoo—the one you recognize also from Finance who was also at lunch with him.

You don’t even realize your eyes are squinted at those two, along with a scowl on your face. But at the possibility of being caught, you instinctively divert your eyes and duck your head to the other side. Even still Jungkook somehow is still able to capture you and head to your side. At that you internally curse.

“Y/N, why are you here? You’re not heading home?” He asks in concern, closing to you while your eyebrows wrinkle at his so-called familiarity. What is he doing talking so assertively—does he really think you are on that basis with him?

“I’m waiting for someone.” You curtly answer, not even a shift in your expression.

“Who?”

You look at him while scrunching your eyebrows. What the hell does he think he has a right to ask you that? “No one. It’s okay, I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? Seojoo here is pooling with me—Ah, sorry I was impolite. Do you know each other?” Jungkook asks, like he is suddenly waking up that there is someone beside the two of you. Holding back your snort, you put a strict smile and offer your hand to the woman who is not even concerned to hide even a bit of her judgmental eyes at you.

“Seojoo.” She whispers which you mutter your name as a response and fuck is it awkward. You can obviously feel that Seojoo is marking his territory around Jungkook and you don’t fancy it one bit. Why does she have to feel that way towards you?

“Seojoo, you said you are going to the restroom. Aren’t you going?” Jungkook suddenly asks after your short and tense introduction. At that, Seojoo is bewildered, presumably bothered by the thought of leaving you alone with him, like you are going to eat him up right after she leaves. Fuck, what is wrong with her...

She hesitates, “I’m fine, though—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be waiting here. You can go.” Jungkook amicably says with a wide smile, and the insecure chick had no other option than to comply. After she leaves, his prodding eyes are immediately focused on you.

“Can you just say to that fling of yours that I am just a nobody? I will not steal you, damn it. If looks can kill I’ll already bleed to death right now.” You scowl in irk. But just seeing your scowl somehow brings giggles to his smile. “Why are you laughing, you dumbass?”

“You know what, if I’m that presumptuous I’d think you are jealous right now.”

You scrunch your nose, severely abhorred by his annoying big head. “But you are that presumptuous.”

“Exactly.”

Irritated, you push him by the chest until he erupts in loud laughter. “Fuck, why should I be jealous? We are literally nothing and will never be more than that—Gosh, we’re not even friends.”

“Well that’s just saddening.” He frowns while clutching on his chest even though he cannot say it’s not expected. “What are you saying, Y/N? We are more than that, we go way back and you know it.”

You hum and fake a contemplating expression. “Hmm, you’re right but I’m drawing blanks here. How did it go again?”

The wide mischievous grin on his lips dims, shifts into a thin smile. “I could not change the past, I know. But you know regardless of what happened—”

“I’m done.” Seojoo suddenly says, clings on Jungkook’s arm that it stops whatever words he is about to say and you are kind of thankful for that. “We can go now.”

Finally detecting Namjoon tapping out to the lobby in such perfect timing, you send both of the morons a lofty grin. “I should go. You guys have fun, but don’t forget a condom, okay?” You turn your gaze to flabbergasted Seojoo. “Or you know what? Maybe you should prick on it too, so then he’ll stay forever. But if I were you, I wouldn’t count on it. Good luck!”

You can sense the jaw drops at such provocative statements coming out of you, but you don’t even give an ounce of care and leave the scene. After managing to humiliate or hurt both of them, you feel good. You feel strong. However, when Namjoon is at your side and glances at you, he shouts, utterly stupefied.

“Y/N, why—why are you crying?!”

*

It’s eleven pm, you are still settled inside your blanket. You are physically tired, but still your mind is too conflicted to sleep. Half is because of your work, and the other half is caused by that freaking jerk, Jeon Jungkook.

You despise the fact that you are still thinking about him. You suppose to be hating on that guy, but even the hatred is too difficult to maintain right now with his strangely devoted and warm self. Even if it’s a hard to swallow pill, you know you’re enjoying the banter with him. God, you are fucking weak for Jungkook and you hate it.

Rolling in your bed, you try to remember the bad things he has done for you. Forgetting you, abandoning you, playing with your heart like it did not matter—but it eventually ends with the treasured moments with him you wish will never resurface again. Like the moment he holds you all night after your parents fight. Or the moment he defends your honor like it matters the most. Or the moment he first kissed you that fateful, rainy night. Everything is coming back to you now like a trainwreck.

Suddenly among your wandering thoughts, your phone rings. Heaving deeply, you pick up to detect a new message on your anonymous chatting apps. It’s snowball.

91snowball : hi hi hi hi hi what are you doing [23:02]

91snowball : are you sleeping no you cant be sleeping dont sleep on me blue [23:02]

Chuckling, you proceed to type a response.

blueberry_25 : hahaha im not sleeping [23:03]

blueberry_25 : i can’t sleep. Too much thoughts [23:03]

91snowball : care to share? I swear im a good listener [23:05]

91snowball : someone bothering you at work? let me know and ill gass ‘em up for u blue [23:05]

blueberry_25 : really? you’d do that for me?  [23:06]

91snowball : of course just tell me who it is they’ll be gone by tomorrow [23:06]

blueberry_25 : lol it’s nothing. Im just confused [23:07]

blueberry_25 : have u ever been confused about someone? Like u thought u hate them but… its hard to say you do [23:09]

You don’t even know why you just have the urge to tell a stranger about your current contemplation about Jungkook. You desperately need a third perspective on this, and maybe just telling it to someone that wouldn’t know and judge you might be a good change for once.

91snowball : why do u hate them? [23:09]

Blueberry_25 : he hurt and lied to me. when i thought there was something real, he was just in for fun and i should hate him. but why is it so hard to say so now? [23:10]

It’s true. Jungkook was someone you thought you’d love. You trust him so much that you opened up to him better than anyone else, and thought something was there. But all of it was just a lie—he was just in for the thrill. All because of his annoying male ego that made you realize he was just a patronizing jerk that used you for his own benefit and left when he’s done. He is the reason you are insecure about meeting someone new. He is the evil one.

91snowball : maybe because they changed? I know its hard to believe but people change too [23:12]

blueberry_25 : maybe… [23:14]

91snowball : what i’m saying, maybe you should give them a chance to explain? [23:15]

91snowball : but if they’re still the same, punch them and never see them again [23:16]

91snowball : you don’t want to be thinking about it forever, blue. just give the closure your heart deserves [23:17]

He is right, you desperately need closure with Jungkook so you can finally move on with your life—but even the thought scares you. A question arises inside your head that settles strangely in your chest—a question that answers why all your pain and resentment are still so vivid even after years have passed.

Closure with Jungkook scares you… Because you do not know if you’re ready to close it.

*

Another late night, but you are still sitting at your desk. All of your teams already went back, and Namjoon told you he went home an hour ago. He did offer to keep you company, but you quickly refuse, saying you’re doing alright on your own—but now you indeed start to regret your decision. You hate being alone, especially at night but you really need to finish the planning report asap for finance to check again. Seriously, these endless tasks are going to be the death of you.

“Why is this—” You furiously tap on backspace, anger rises inside your head. You have no idea why the recent planning process has too many hiccups like this. The data given to you is not tally, and you don’t even know why. There must be something wrong.

Among the stress inside your head, your eyes fall at the lilies resting on your desk and smiles. Your eyes linger on the notes stuck on it for already the nth time already today.

Here’s beautiful lilies for you. Hope you have a great day too today, Y/N!

“Hey, you are still here?”

Surprised, you abruptly look up, finding Jungkook’s concerned face at you. You release a deep breath of relief. “I thought you went home, it’s pretty late.” He continues apprehensively.

You clear your throat, suddenly finding it a bit hard to speak with the realization that it’s only the both of you on the whole level. “Yes, haven’t finished the report I need to submit. No worry, I’ll submit it soon.”

He carefully slides and sits on Hoseok’s seat beside you. “I’m okay if you submit this tomorrow. You should head back, you must be tired.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I just want to finish this tonight, head home and sleep.” You give him a short, civil smile before continuing your work. “You can go home if you want to. I’m okay.”

“I think I’d rather stay. My cousin is having ‘dinner’ with his girlfriend right now, god knows what I might go home to.” He lightly jokes, and it kinda works in entertaining you a little. You know based on your resentment to him you should curtly answer or ask him to leave, but you do know that you’d rather have someone as company right now, even though it has to be Jeon Jungkook.

“You got flowers?” He pensively asks after minutes of silence, raising his eyebrow.

You glance at him staring at the lilies at your desk. Suddenly, your throat dries and you don’t even know why. “Y-yes.”

“From who?”

“I.. I don’t know. Someone put this on my desk this morning.” You whisper, more to yourself. You hate yourself for explaining when you have the right not too, but deep down, this shameless part you are expecting Jungkook might be the one sending all these gifts. You know it makes no sense whatsoever—but involuntarily you are still foolishly hoping so. Yes, you are that delusional.

“A note too? Wow, a secret admirer. How poetic.” He sneers, then shifts his gaze back to his screen. At the obviously sarcastic tone, you scoff in irritation. What a jerk.

“You have a problem with that? What—jealous that you never have someone you truly care to give gifts to?”

He meaningfully stares at you, making it difficult to breathe. “It’s not true and you know it.”

At your befuddled expression, Jungkook sighs, not even wanting to prolong the debate. “But no. None whatsoever. I don’t care, it has nothing to do with me anyway.”

You bite your lips in evident shock and disappointment, and try your best to make the unpleasant thoughts disappear. Did he just implicitly address your past together? About the time he gave you a gift you could never forget for your whole lifetime? About the time when you foolishly thought he was someone you could give your heart to?

A few minutes passed in deep, tense silence and Jungkook is sitting beside you now, working on his own tasks. He is so focused on the screen, with his lean fingers stroking his chiseled jaw and he leans to the seat, eyebrows scrunching like something is bothering him so much. And the scar prominent on his upper left cheek is as palpable as ever, and you notice how much he has changed, but still hasn’t. Jungkook grew up really well from the last time you saw him a few years back. No wonder all the girls are flocking on him like he is a magnet or whatever.

“Hey, Y/N, get this.” Jungkook suddenly turns to you, and albeit surprised, you are trying to look as unfazed as ever—like you did not just spend minutes to admire his attractive features. Even if your face heats up at the possibility of Jungkook finding out your antics. “I see the reports from the planning and other supply chain teams are not tally. This has been going, since approximately two months ago. Do you have any idea why?”

You squint your eyes at the reports. Yes, it is the data you get from Junsu, the new-hire for your team. “I don’t really know why. I got this data from Junsu, he said he received it from the plant team.”

“I really think we should check this. I’m not sure.” Jungkook whispers, chewing on his lower lips. Another seconds of silence passes before he notices your intimidating stare on his face. “...everything okay, Y/N? Something’s bothering you? Are you tired?”

Fuck, you really spend those seconds staring at the way he chewed his lips. There must be something wrong in your head now. “No—no.. I’m just.. Yes! Yes, I’m tired. I think I need to go home.”

Jungkook nods in all seriousness while you are packing your belongings. You need to flee, fast. “Yes, you really should go home and rest. Let’s talk about this tomorrow again, hmm?”

“Yes, yes! Okay, see you tomorrow.” You hastily smile, quickly escape the room without minding his voice calling your name. Damn, you need to set your head straight. It is Jeon Jungkook you’re talking about here. You can’t be weak for him.

*

The night passess in a blink, and then the morning arrives a tad bit faster than you expect it to. Especially since you wake up to your boss' message, ordering you to come to his desk right after you arrive at the office—which means a disaster happened and you are not mentally prepared for that.

“Y/N, why the hell the sales director called and yelled at me?” Is your boss’ first sentence when you enter his room. You gulp instinctively, then move to proceed to sit because you know it won’t be over before it’s too long.

Another hour and you came out from the room looking as exhausted as ever. There is some mistake in either the planning and manufacturing side that creates untally numbers in reports between units which then escalates to the higher management. And now you have to manually check the numbers without the intervention of people and present it by tomorrow afternoon, which means you will have to go to the plant as of right now—it’s two and a half hours drive from your office.

Feeling terribly unfit to drive due to the pain in your head, you choose to get there by train—in which you spend by checking the numbers again for the first hour, but the pain in your head is getting unbearable and you decide to sleep it off. Few hours later, you finally arrive at the plant, weakly entering the office side of the plant. Upon finding a space to place your belongings, someone immediately catches your attention, finding him talking with a group of people and a stack of paper on his grasp. Are your eyes lying to you right now? Is he really here?

“...Jungkook?”

Hearing his name is called, Jungkook instinctively looks back to find your confused expression. The shock in his expression is palpable too. “Y/N? You’re here.”

“What are you doing here?”

He looks bewildered at your simple question. “I-I am talking to—to these people. Umm.. for my reports.”

Your eyebrows raised, as he should be coordinating with plant finance folks instead of your team. “But they are in supply chain.”

Jungkook is abashed, you sense it clearly. “Y-yes, I just—can we talk about this later? You can join us if you want, this might help you too.”

Decide to ignore the strange fact that he is here, you and Jungkook spend another hour talking to the manufacturing team, and then manage to get the in hand documentations of work orders. After settling inside the empty cubicle, you look at Jungkook who is already eagerly jumping into the documentations. “Hey. Are you here to help me?”

Jungkook looks at you, avoids your eyes and clears his throat. “No, of course not. Why would I? What’s in it for me? You’re talking nonsense now, Y/N.”

“But this shouldn’t be your job to go to the plant and check all the data.” You whisper, more to yourself while looking at the overwhelming stack of papers. “Why are you doing this?”

He suddenly stops, and looks at you with all seriousness painted on his eyes. “Don’t sweat on it, Y/N. Let’s just finish this and get to the bottom of it asap, okay? I am here to help.” Jungkook whispers and manages to silence your retaliation. Yes, you know you are seriously in need of help right now. Doing this alone will not be as helpful as having Jungkook with you, especially having to present the result by tomorrow afternoon—it makes no sense to do it alone.

Two months worth of documentation is a lot and overwhelming. And even after six hours working on it, you can only focus on the amount of work you still need to go through. The looming pain inside your head is not helping either.

“Hey, hey, you are pale, Y/N. What’s wrong?” Jungkook instantly stops when he detects you are unmoving, resting on your chair while closing your eyes. You yourself do not know why you are feeling so unwell today. “Hey, you haven’t eaten, right? Damn it, your blood pressure—wait here, I’ll grab you something to eat.”

Ah, that must be it. You just realized you haven’t eaten anything today beside one slice of bread in the morning. Especially with the low blood pressure, it must be taking a toll on you. But one thing that catches your attention is the fact Jungkook remembers your condition even after all these years—it settles strangely inside your chest.

In no time he is already back with a paper bag. “Here, I brought you this. Let’s eat in the pantry.” He immediately holds you by the shoulder, helping your weak legs to walk to the pantry. After ensuring you are sitting well, he opens the food box and juice and offers you the utensils. “I bought the first thing I saw, this should be good for your blood pressure. Eat.”

You nod thankfully and proceed to eat. After three spoons and a few minutes, you can finally breathe clearly. But as you see that Jungkook is just looking at you expectantly, you feel severely self-aware. “You’re not eating too?” You ask shyly.

Jungkook smiles and scratches his nape abashedly. “Sorry, ‘was so rushed that I forgot to buy one for me.”

He forgot to buy one for himself but buy this one for you? You instinctively offer him the food. “Eat this, then. We can share.”

Jungkook kindly rejects with a smile. “No, I’ll buy something else. Yours is too healthy for me.” He jokes and walks out of the pantry. Finally alone, you stare at the food in front of you, somehow frowning.  

*

“I really think we should go back.” Jungkook stubbornly says after the nth time debating whether you should stay in the office or go back to your two hours away apartment. The answer should be easy—you have to stay back since tomorrow you will be meeting another plant team. Especially since it’s already seven in the evening, and the plant is closing off soon. “But you need to rest! Stop forcing your body, you moron. You seriously can be sick because of your stubbornness, you know?”

“I’ve been through this! You should’ve seen me in college, I do this every single time. I’m good and alive now. See?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, folding his arms to his chest. “Really? And tell me how’d it go again?”

You wince at the remembrance that you were bedrested more than you’re proud of, all because of your bad habits of staying late and overworking yourself. A question arises inside your head, but you briskly push it away. “You know Jungkook, you’re worse than my aunt, you know that?”

He giggles, showing his bunny teeth that somehow knocks the air off your chest. That heartfelt smile, you remember it like it was yesterday. “If you want, we can stay near here somewhere and continue the work. You need to sleep, and in the morning we can go back to the plant.”

“I’ll check the nearest hotel. Get ready, after this we’ll leave, okay?” He says while walking further from your desk. You bite your lips, silently nodding.

Suddenly, your phone rings. It’s Namjoon. You gasp, remembering that you haven’t let him know you are going to be away for work. “Hello, Namjoon?”

“Hey, where are you? I went to your desk two times today, thinking you had a meeting or anything. You haven’t even returned my calls or messages.” He hisses with obvious worry lacing his voice. “When will you be home?”

“Ah, I don’t think I’m going home today. I’m at the plant, have urgent work to finish so I’ll stay in a nearby hotel.”

“Is it safe? Are you okay? Do you want me to pick you up?” The worry and hurry instantly doubles the moment he heard you’ll be staying far away. You giggle, noticing how Namjoon is already too accustomed in taking care and worrying about you.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to worry. By the way, Jungkook is also here—”

“Jungkook?” He immediately cuts you, clearly confused. “The Jeon Jungkook? Your archenemy?”

“Yup.”

Two seconds of silence. “And he’ll be staying with you? In the same hotel?”

“The same hotel, yes! But not the same room. I know what you’re thinking, Namjoon, but it’s nothing—”

Namjoon tauntingly laughs that makes you totally self-conscious of your own skin. “Ah, the beautiful, old devil’s tango you both play. I have nothing to worry about, then. Tell me how it goes, okay? Bye, Y/N, remember to use protection. I’m not ready to be an uncle.”

“The fuck—”

But Namjoon is already cut off, and now you are staring harshly at your phone, your grasp is sucking the life out of your phone. Fuck Namjoon! You know you should never trust a guy who literally ruined a good pair of sunglasses he just bought. Seriously.

“I got one.” Jungkook suddenly interrupts your busy thoughts, walking to your side with a large frown in his lips. “But can you believe it? He said there is a concert near here tomorrow so all the rooms are full beside one large suite, and the other nearest hotel is like eleven kilometers away. What do you think?”

At his statement, your sight is suddenly blurry—all you can think about is fucking Namjoon and what he just said to you.

Ugh, you hate how statistics shows that he is often right, like 95% of the time...

*

Thinking you have no other choice than to get the one room left, you accept your fate that you have to be in one room with Jeon Jungkook for the rest of the night. Even if the suite only has one king-size bed, you get a compensation of a large suite that the distance you have with him may be kept well—and Jungkook agreed that he will not make any funny business on you after you ultimately warn him that you’ll be submitting charges if he even tries to.

“Y/N, I am not a sexual offender or anything. I will not do anything against your consent.” Jungkook sighs for the nth time as a reply to your threat of stabbing him with a fork. Again. “But it’s a different case if you’re willing…” You instantly send a lethal punch to the guy’s shoulder until he whimpers of pain. “What the—that hurts! I was kidding!”

“I was not kidding.” You roll your eyes, folding your arms on your chest. “This is a bad idea. I don’t even know what I should wear. I don’t want to sleep in my work clothes—and I have to be in a room with a pervert. Can’t you just sleep outside?”

He smirks while stealing glances at you. “You can always sleep naked and I won’t be complaining.”

“Fuck you.”

Jungkook greasily winks at you. “With pleasure.”

You groan in disgust. “God, you’re still the same, annoying piece of shit you were a few years back. I can’t believe this.”

“Well, you dated this piece of shit years ago, so…”

You look at him weirdly. Dated? What is he saying now.. “We were not dating. It was just a fling, you know it.”

Jungkook stares at you, with undeciphered emotions painted on his eyes. “We.. we weren’t?”

“No.”

He clears his throat, his cheeks are suddenly turning red. Your eyebrows slant at the thick air between the both of you. “Y-yes. Yes, of course it wasn’t. I was joking.” He continues with a forced laughter.

You slowly nod, clearing your throat out of sheer awkwardness. What happened between the two of you that time—it was a mere fling. It took nearly months to admit it was just that and nothing more, and now why is he here saying that it’s something more? He probably is just messing with your head, so no need to overthink whatsoever. That’s what got you inside the mess in the first place anyway.

After safely parked in the hotel lobby, you are about to walk out when Jungkook stops you. “I have a change shirt here, you can wear that to sleep. I believe there is a boutique here, so you can buy it for work tomorrow.”

He gives you a pair of clean shirt and pants, while you are only able to look at him with an unknown feeling in your chest. All these things—it feels too familiar to be true. You are unable to resist reminiscing the past. “You remember when I ran away from my house that time? I forgot to bring anything—and you lent me your shirt that time.”

Jungkook looks at you in evident shock, until a smile is suddenly formed on his lips. “Of course I remember. You were crying at that time, I was so panicked. You were wearing my shirt for like.. A full week.”

You giggle, smiling to yourself. Your parents were fighting again at that time, it was because of you. Your mother wants to take you back to Seoul, while your father wants you to stay in the states with him. You were so angry at that time, the fact that they weren’t even thinking to discuss it with you first so you fled, begging Jungkook to accompany you. That’s how you spend a full week running away with him bringing nothing to change into.

“I still can’t believe I stayed in your parent’s house for a full week without them finding out. That’s like… super mind blown.” You giggle again, remembering the time you stayed in his family house. It is undoubtedly one of the best times of your life, sneaking inside Jungkook’s house, staying in and having to spend all your days with him.

“It was crazy.” Jungkook breathes at you, smiling so wide his bunny teeth are visible. “I was so happy that time.”

Suddenly realizing how real it all gets after the unexpected nostalgia, you clear your throat trying to manage your emotions in. You really need to get your head straight. “Wow, this got mushy real quick, right? Let’s—let’s just go in.”

After a good ten minutes, you are settling inside your shared room with Jungkook. It was definitely larger than you think, so it was comforting to say the least. All because you cannot trust yourself when he’s around, and the fact that you’re starting to tolerate the guy isn’t helping either.

“I’m starting on the documentation, you take a shower first.” Jungkook mutters while settling himself on the corner of the room. You nod, and whilst getting ready with the pair of clean clothes he lent you, you catch Jungkook staring.

“What are you staring so intently at, you freak.” You snort and Jungkook chuckles while shaking his head.

“Nah, just remembered the old times. ” He smiles and suddenly you forget how to breathe. “You were so… pretty.”

Your heart literally skips a beat at how unreal everything is, but then are reminded of something that immediately makes you feel like an idiot for thinking he might mean it. “Didn’t you think like that because we just had a shower sex that time?”

Jungkook immediately blushes at your upfront mention. He most definitely did not expect that. “No, I wasn’t thinking—damn, Y/N, how can you say that!”

Rolling your eyes, your hand moves to slide the bathroom door. “Whatever, I’m going to shower now. Don’t even think about moving even a muscle from there.”

Jungkook sighs at your non-stop cautiousness, but is still unable to get that one last kick in. “You sure you can do it alone? I can help you shower, you know. ” He teases mischievously which you instantly answer by flipping him off. But you know the smile is too wide—you are enjoying this light banter too much now.

After having a very delightful bath, you walk out while drying your hair with a towel. Staying true to his words, Jungkook is seated still on the sofa, eyes not even blinking—too focused on the work in front of him. You move to his side, carefully resting your hands on his shoulder that he instinctively jumps on his seat. “Sorry to interrupt, but you should take a shower first. It must be suffocating still wearing that.”

Jungkook seems flustered, and immediately rises. “Yes, okay. I’ll be a second, then we can start. You should...rest a bit.”

Sitting on the couch he sat on, you stare at nothing in particular when your ringtone is heard. You mindlessly open your phone and find it’s Hoseok on the other side, pinging you endlessly—of course about you spending the night with Jungkook. You hiss just thinking about Namjoon literally can't keep his mouth shut, so instead, you leave him a fuck off emotion and move to open another chatting app, strangely miss chatting with your anonymous friend. Maybe you should update him about another conflict you are having right now, having been forced to be around the one you had a huge crush a few years back.

blueberry_25 : hiiiiiiiiiiii are you there? [20:15]

Right after sending the message, suddenly a ringtone is heard—it must be Jungkook’s phone. Shrugging the fact, you send another message, and Jungkook’s phone is ringing again. What is this coincidence? Why is his phone ringing at the same time you send yours?! The possibility of Jungkook being paired as your anonymous friends literally makes you dizzy beyond words, and you quickly move to grab his phone from his office bag, trying to detect if your notification is there. Fuck, fuck! If he really is your anonymous friend, you’d literally run away and sink yourself in the nearest waters. You’d rather set yourself on fire than having to spend another second around him.

Picking up his phone with your heart beating unhealthily fast, but all you see in his notification is Hoseok’s messages. You scroll slowly on his notifications, but fortunately nothing about your message is seen. You sigh deeply in reassurance. God, that was close.

Realizing how improper it is to be preying on his privacy, you clear your throat and put the phone back on the desk. Fuck, you are really shameless. But in your defense, it’s really a matter of life or death, because you have no idea whether you’d rather spend another second breathing when knowing you’ve been talking to Jungkook about Jungkook all these times. But seeing that there’s no notification, you feel slightly assured. Slightly.

Yet to think about it, he is using the basketball keychain you gave him a few years back and it makes you feel incredibly unsettled. Why is he wearing this? He changed his phone and really went through the hard work to still keep something he hated the first time receiving? You even thought he threw the keychain away after receiving it.

“Hey, what are you looking at?”

At the sudden low minister you look up in surprise, seeing Jungkook walking out of the shower, still with wet hair, wearing a white shirt and a pair of shorts that looks really comfortable, but not really for you as a silent bystander. Fuck Jungkook and his incredible charm!

“Is it my phone?” Jungkook asks, eyebrows scrunched.

Suddenly realizing that you are cornered by his great smell, you are stuttering to even let out an answer. “I’m-i’m sorry! Your phone rang and I thought it was something important, and—”

“You shouldn’t check my phone, really.”

Remembering how Jungkook hated to have anyone messing with his privacy, you wince internally and prepare for his wrath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I swear.”

At your regretful gesture, Jungkook sighs and rests himself on the space beside you. “It’s okay. Just.. just don’t do it again. I don’t want you to be shocked to see what’s in there.”

Seeing an opportunity now that he has relaxed a bit, you push him by the shoulder with your own with a mischievous smile. “It’s okay, I’ve seen your porn collection. Nothing will really shock me at this point.”

Waiting for Jungkook to respond to your laughter, but instead you only find him gazes at you with indiciphered emotions. “Why? Is there anything wrong?”

“No, It’s.. it’s just weird. Actually the first time you acknowledge our past without wanting to rip my head off my body.”

At that, you find your gaze falling back to the basketball keychain on his phone. “You’re using that lame ass keychain you hated so much now?”

You remember that time you went to an old market with your friends the morning of your third date with Jungkook, seeing a cute basketball chain and you instantly remembered how much Jungkook always wanted to play basketball even if he was in a football team, so you bought that keychain for him. He begrudgingly received it with so much complaints, about how he didn’t like any accessories for his phone, or how he literally played football, or how it didn’t match his fashion concept, and you haven’t even seen him use it… until now.

“Yup. I have been using it since… you left actually.” Jungkook looks down to his phone, and you look at him with a contorted face.

“Why?”

Jungkook looks at you, staying silent for a good ten seconds while you bite your lips, wondering if you are ready to hear whatever he’ll say—cause any scenario playing in your head is just a trainwreck of mess after mess—until he answers with a heavy sigh of distress. “I’ll answer that later. Let’s just.. Work now.”

Silently thankful that he decides not to answer your pointless question, you agree and proceed with work. It is not exceptionally hard to focus on your work when the deadline is just around the corner, and you are thankful Jungkook is very helpful and kind with everything. But after a few hours spent working, from the corner of your eyes Jungkook is massaging his sore neck with contorted face. You know why—he severely strained his neck muscle during a practice a few years back, and will always feel pain whenever he is overworking himself, like he is right now.

“Hey, you should take a rest.” You tap his shoulders with worried gaze. “Your neck must be killing you right now. I can continue, there’s just a few of these left.”

Jungkook really wants to refuse your mindful offering, but the pain is disagreeing with him. So albeit half-heartedly, he moves to rest on the bed. “Laying on the bed would only worsen the pain, though..” You whisper to yourself, somehow still vividly remember everything.

“You want me to massage you?”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. “Are you serious?”

You are fumbling with the hem of Jungkook’s shirt you wear and hesitantly nod. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself… Because… you’re my ride tomorrow to Seoul! We really need to get back right after, so—”

Jungkook nods with a thin smile, and you decide to shut up and just move closer to his side with a bottle of baby oil from your bag. After smearing a few drops on his neck, you proceed to move your fingers to give slight pressure around his neck—just the way you remember it.

“Now I know why you still smell like that. You’re still using that baby oil.” He hums in delight and you inevitably smile. The fact that he still remembers sends warmth to your chest.

After spending a good ten minutes massaging his upper neck, you notice that the neck area of his t-shirt is wet with the oil. “Ah, your shirt..”

“It’s okay. Are you done?”

You bit your lip. Not really, you know by the look of it the pain is still far from being off, but you don’t know what you should do. The convenient way is to have Jungkook out of his shirt, but then you’d literally be out of your mind. You most certainly do not have the capacity to do with a shirtless Jungkook, right on such a closed space, especially on a bed. Even thinking about it makes you feel rightfully ridiculous.

“You’re still in pain, though…”

“Ah, this is okay.” Jungkook gives you a comforting smile, trying to move his head, “I’m now as good as—Ow!”

Now you don’t even know how can that man survive another day being this careless. He is moving his head excessively only to prove his lies and end up with more pain. Really Jungkook-like. Sighing, you pull on his shirt. “Take off your shirt, you moron. I’ll massage you.”

At your bold statement, Jungkook literally shivers on your grasp. “No, It’s all well. You don’t need to—”

Greatly unimpressed, you warn him not to reason with your request and just by your stare, he begrudgingly complies. “But don’t laugh. I haven’t been working out recently, super swamped at work so if you just laugh, even a little, I’ll leave you here to take the bus alone to Seoul tomorrow.”

Giggling at his pouts, Jungkook moves to open his shirt and instantly lay on his stomach on the bed. “Don’t see it!”

“Why! Are you shy at me now? You literally used every chance to be shirtless back then.” You chuckle and mischievously poke him around the waist with your forefinger. “Why are you shy? You six pack no more?”

Jungkook buries his head on the pillow, while you still proceed to poke him repetitiously with your fingers. “Stop it!” He groans yet you disregard it without any further thoughts.

“You’re nooo fun! Don’t be shy Kookie, even if you’re bloated, I—Ah!”

Jungkook growls at your constant bother, and spends no other second to pull you around to secure you around his grasp, bare chest just a breath away from yours.

“Are you seriously going to do this now? Don’t you know how crazy I was just to be around you for the night?”

At his deep stare prodding at the depth of your minds, you feel terribly heated. “What-what are you saying..”

“Are you seriously not seeing this, Y/N?” He slowly breathes. “It’s hard. To be around you again, and trying to hold myself from thinking about what could have happened with us.” Is he seriously addressing what happened with your relationship before?

“What?”

“You asked why I still use that keychain you gave? You really wonder why?” He asks in unpredicted determination that it terrifies you. “It’s because what we had meant that much. You, me, us—we were so happy. Or at least, I was.”

Like it’s not surprising enough, he is apparently not done. “Being with you, I’d never trade that for anything. I was doubtful it even happened—you left so quickly and I need a reminder that it did happen. We happened.”

Realizing that he indeed is going to unveil anything that happened in your past, you weakly push him away, trying to create a safe distance in between. But of course it’s no match with his unbelievable strength. “Jungkook...”

“I know I was a jerk, Y/N. I was childish, foolish, I was an idiot and I did not think about your feelings. I did not consider that you must’ve had a reason to leave the country, we were fighting like crazy, but—I would’ve understood if I had known the reason, you know? And I start to wonder about the what ifs, will everything be different with you and me?”

You look up to him gloomily, the pain in your chest is unbearable now that he is opening up the past. You remember everything like it was yesterday—how infatuated you were with each other, how beautiful was the time of being in such love with him, how heartbroken you were to find out you had to follow your mother after the divorce and go back to Seoul, and how instead of clearly stating why, you and Jungkook had a huge fight that literally lasts for years and until now.

The sadness momentarily engulfs you, that you instinctively respond to the sentence you’ve been repeating to yourself these whole time. “Well then, maybe we are just not meant to be.”

Jungkook glares at you, not liking a bit that you had to pull that card with him. “Don’t you fucking say that. What we had meant that much to me, and I loved you so much, Y/N. Why can’t we just—” You know it was a past tense, he said he loved you. But why does that hurt? Unexpectedly a thought crosses your mind, and you speak faster than you think.

“Jungkook, what happened with that girl?”

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “What girl?”

You look down, unable to see him right in his beautiful, doe eyes.“That finance girl—the one coming home with you when clearly taxi exists—what happened that night?”

Jungkook clears his throat, finally getting what you’re saying. “Ah, her. No, I had Jimin take her home that night.”

“Why?”

Jungkook bite his lips, it’s obvious that he is conflicted to answer. Ten seconds pass until he finally opens his voice to answer. “Because she was talking shit about you, and I don’t like it.”

“You what? Seriously?!” Are you hearing correctly? Jungkook seriously abandoned all his mighty ways with girls just because someone is talking shit about you? “It’s inevitable, and you know I don’t give a shit what she thinks about me. You don’t have to do that—I can’t believe this.”

“Y/N, don’t overthink it. Even if we are off to a rocky start and you might hate me, you’re still my friend. I won’t let anyone talk shit about my friends, especially you.”

The way he speaks, it is full of sincerity and succeeds in melting your whole being. The way he cares about you, you hate to admit that you still like it too much. You can’t believe that you are still this reactive for anything regarding him.

Another seconds of comfortable silence passes and somehow, you get comfortable just laying there with him. Even your heartbeat is too fast for your likings, yet the familiarity is what keeps you on spot. You start reminiscing those beautiful times when it’s just you and him, the feelings you get whenever he looks at you like this—it feels amazing.

“What happens to your mother? Is she okay now?” Jungkook carefully asks, like he is testing the water. His palms are soft on your back, featherly soothing it with his whole deliberation.

You hum with a faint nod. “Yup, she is recovering well. My aunt and grandma are also very helpful with the therapy, so...yes. How did you know, by the way?”

“Well, after you left I… I just got around with your friend. She actually explains your condition and.. then I try to dig around for you as well. I found your social media and really wanted to message you, but.. Yeah, I never got to.”

What Jungkook does not explain is how much time he spends on his phone, typing and retyping his words to send you, but never got the courage to. After knowing what happened to you and your family—especially about your mother’s illness, he felt overwhelmingly guilty beyond words. He took it on you, taking all his disappointment for the false information he made for himself, without thinking what you might have felt. He deserved it, he deserves everything that happened to him. Being miserable, chased with the guilt feeling rooting on his back, it might be just the right price he must pay for letting you down, disappointing you the way he did.

“I am sorry, Y/N. If I can take back what I said, I would. In a heartbeat.” He whispers and you understand how much he means it. At that time, it’s even difficult to think he is still the same Jungkook who hurted you back then. He changes so much, and hopefully for the better.

“What about you? Everything is good back in the states?” You ask, resting your palm on his bare arm and you can sense how Jungkook is tense, but instantly relaxes after your hand is safely settled. “Your family is still there?”

“Yup. Family is there, only me here.”

You hum, fidgeting your fingers resting on his arm. You really want to ask one question that has been running in your mind since four months ago.“If I ask why you moved to Seoul, would you answer honestly? Like.. I know what you said to your peer, about the great offer whatsoever, but… there must be something else, right? There’s literally no good reason why you should move to somewhere new and not even lots of people you know here..”

Jungkook gives you a thin smile. “I.. I just needed a fresh start. My life there, everything that’s been going on with my family, my friends were too… exhausting. I just—I wanted to see how far I could go on my own.”

“Something happened with your family?” You curiously asks, suddenly curious about his last statement. You know how ruthless his father was with his ambitions for his only son, directly lining him up for the best school in the states and already planning all his future for him, including entering one of the most sought up corporate as well.

“Yup. You know, I don’t hate his plans. What I dislike is the way he single-handedly does everything for me. It was so stressful.” Jungkook whispers, more to himself. “He wants me to go Investment Banking, but I don’t want that. He promises that he can make me in Forbes list, or whatever it was he said, but I don’t want that too.”

“So I planned on moving out of the city, but I don’t know where or how. Then the idea to go back to Seoul arised. Something happened—the decision time was quite short. What turns out to be a joke turns into a serious option. Having dual citizenship really eases my access back to Korea, and my grandparents and cousins are also here so.. Yeah. That’s about it.”

You nod in understanding, cause everything he said seems plausible. But one thing still doesn’t settle right. “But.. why my company? You know I’ve been working here for a while now, right? It’s like… too much of a coincidence it scares me.”

“If I say it’s all the grand plan of the universe, will you believe me?” He lightly jokes, eyes turning into crescent moons. You roll your eyes, but nevertheless giggle.

“I think that’s enough for now. You must be sleepy, Y/N. Go to sleep, in a few hours  we still need to head back to the plant and directly go back to Seoul. Okay?”

You are expecting Jungkook to move away and leave you to sleep on the bed, but he is still there, holding you close, and you are not complaining at all. You are conscious that he is waiting for you to shoo him away, but you’d not even dare to do it. Cause being with him again, his large palm caressing your back, his breath tickling your face, everything seems like a very vague, far dream.

Another twenty minutes and you are already far too deep in slumber, Jungkook smiles at your sleeping face. You seem so at peace, and he is loving every second just laying here with you.

But the rest of work ain’t gonna fix itself, so he is still groaning, and wakes up and moves back to the sofa. Getting a canned coffee from his duffle bag, Jungkook quickly gulps an adequate amount until he is sure he won’t be sleeping for a while now. Trying to relax his strained neck, his finger moves back to the laptop in front of him.

“Let’s finish this once and for all, shall we?”

*

Due to staying up until three in the morning, Jungkook wakes up around nine to a cup of coffee in the kettle, along with a thank you note for finishing the rest of the work and promises you’d do anything he asks in return. You also permit yourself for going to the plant first. At that, a slight disappointment arises inside his chest and he doesn’t even know why. Jungkook heaves a deep breath, waking up and directly going straight to the shower.

Not even thirty minutes later, Jungkook is already parked on the plant, walking inside to the office side where he expects you will be. But he is met with disappointment, because you’re not there—not even your belongings are in sight.

At once, he feels terribly anxious. What happened to you? Where could you be? He tries dialing your number, but is met with no answer. When one of the supply chain teams he was talking to yesterday is walking beside him, he stops her right away. “Hey… Did you see Y/N? Was she here?”

“Y-yes. She is currently meeting with the team leader.” She mutters nervously, especially with Jungkook’s hardened stare prodding at her.

“Team leader? Where?”

“They’re meeting downstairs, probably in the cafe? I don’t really know..”

Finally self-conscious about how freaky he has been, Jungkook quickly mutters his thank you and descends to the elevator. Team leader? He doesn’t know why he feels terribly on the edge with the fact she is meeting the team leader. Probably due to something he heard yesterday…

“Y/N, you’re disappointed, right? The team leader is in the plant right now since there's a production problem. Tell me, you actually wanted to see him, right?”

That was that a fellow supply chain team was whispering to you during the discussion yesterday, which you answered with a lousy no. It did not settle right with him and now he is proven right. Who is this team leader, actually?

While in the elevator, he swiftly reaches for his work phone, trying to find a certain supply chain team leader. He squints his name, finding a name that certainly is not too strange if he thinks about it...

Kim Taehyung.. When did he hear this name before?

*

“I told you I can pick you up from the hotel and then we can get a proper breakfast. Why are we even meeting at this lousy, overpriced office cafe.” Taehyung fizzles with a deep pout while cutting the maple syrup pancake he ordered. You thinly smile, stirring the cup of chamomile tea on your grasp. It’s certainly strange to be in the exact situation with him as it was during your college days.

“It’s okay, I can’t stay long anyway. I just got a few things clarified from your team and I’ll be on my way back to the headquarters.”

“Really? That fast?” The pout on his lips deepens. “If I know you are going to leave so soon, we should’ve done something last night. I don’t even understand why you checked in a hotel instead of staying with me. It’s way cheaper and easier, you know?”

“Taehyung, you know I can’t do that…” You warn him, feeling cautious of the overly familiar sense between the two of you. It is dangerous, and you don’t want to ruin everything with you and him. Again. You will not foolishly repeat history.

Noticing how tense the air has become after your last sentence, he suddenly leans his palm over yours, eyes filled with regret. “Y/N, please don’t be like this. We are friends before anything else. What happened, it was in the past. I don’t want to lose you like this.”

The irony of hearing that too many times now literally put a painful grin in your lips. Why the fuck men keeps on saying that to you these days? Fucking annoying.

“I get it. We are friends. So please keep the line, Taehyung. I don’t want to lose you as a friend like this too.”

Realizing that not even a hint of mirth on your face, he realizes that he indeed has crossed the line. Taehyung immediately pulls his hand away, clasping it on his lap. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. But can we talk about work, now?” You sigh in distress. You know by the look of it, Taehyung has millions of words he wants to say, but you don’t want to hear it. You just had enough with all the drama.

Taehyung was your friend. Your first friend in Seoul. Your first friend in university. Your best friend. At that time, he helped you a lot with adapting to the new environment. He helped you with every part of your life, your study, your family, everything. He was the son your mother never had—you were that close to him. At the beginning, regardless of what people said that the both of you would end up being in love with each other, it was easy to disregard it with a simple laugh. Because Taehyung had a girlfriend back in his hometown. Because you were busy with working part-time to make a living, and love was your last priority.

4 years being in a platonic relationship was easy when it’s with him. You graduated together, sealed with a picture of Taehyung kissing your cheek in front of your alma mater hanging on your living room’s wall, you never knew something indeed has changed with you and him. Not until one night he confesses he wants to try something more serious with you, for you to seriously consider him as a boyfriend. And as easy as it was, you agreed. Because in all sincereness, you knew you’d do anything for him, and even if you wanted to be with someone, it just had to be him.

Having the same dream, both of you applied for the same company, and were accepted in the same team. You were working alongside him, and seriously could not be happier. Day by day, you start to gain feelings for him, and it was as easy as expected—because he was a very great guy, everything you wished him to be. Until one day, an email arrives in your personal inbox, filled with cursive words accusing you were the one Taehyung was cheating with. From his ex-girlfriend.

At that time, you directly confronted Taehyung for an explanation. And you found out that before graduation, he measly broke up with the girl through a freaking message and blocked every contact with her right after. And when you thought everything couldn't go worse, more digging led you to find out that he broke up only after you agreed to try something serious with him.

You were heartbroken. Even if you knew that in his defense, he thought that nothing was going to work with his ex-girlfriend for way before they broke up, but it did not justify anything that he did for her, or for you. You expected more of him, and were excessively disappointed. And even when you tried to forget it and move on like what it was before, you can’t shake the feeling of betrayal. That’s why you decided to call it off.

Taehyung was disappointed in your easy choice of way out, it was as clear that both of you are not on the same page with everything. Knowing that both of you couldn’t just disregard everything and keep on being professional at work, Taehyung directly applied after an opening for a plant team was announced—and in no time he left. Just like that.

“Hey, are you okay? Y/N, don’t be like this. I won’t talk about it again—let’s just talk about work. Okay?” Taehyung asks in worry at your deep and long silence. You dubiously nod, realizing that you cannot keep on being like this. That’s why you reach out for your laptop, intending to start on questions for your report.

“So, is your mother okay now?” Taehyung asks, and you know he is sincerely curious instead of making small talks. You kind of understand though, since your mother saw him nearly everyday as he was practically glued to your side.

“She is doing much better now. And she asked about you too, you know.”

Taehyung immediately smiles at that. “Yeah, of course I know. I was literally the best child she could ever have, since her daughter was busier than the president himself.”

You roll your eyes but still chuckle at the remembrance. “Shut up. I was working! And you know, you are the weird one. You kept on hanging out in my house, even without me. My aunt and grandma were literally in love with you.”

“Yeah, they were so kind and lovely. How could I not miss them.” Taehyung smiles more to himself. You can detect how sincere he is, and the guilt is slightly eating you up. If you weren’t such a selfish person, maybe everything would be different. Maybe you and him would be different.

“Then come again to my house. I’m still in my apartment, but I come back to my house once or twice each month. You know my family house is closer to the plant than the headquarters. You should come with me.”

You know that Taehyung seems to be at shock at your unexpected invites—as you too were shocked—but he instantly forms his signature boxy smile and nods in agreement before you could change your mind. “I would love to.”

Suddenly, a ruckus was heard directed from the door. You instinctively turn to the source of the sound, and unexpectedly find Jungkook marching to your side. You immediately stand from your seat, somehow anxious over the fact that you left him in the hotel with only a lousy note to excuse yourself. And probably, the fact that Taehyung is here too.

“Jungkook? Why are you here?”

Jungkook looks at you, then at Taehyung, then at you again, implicitly showing how bewildered he is. “Ah, it’s nothing. I just.. I just want to check where you are. You left so quick from the hotel, so—”

Taehyung immediately stands up from his seat, staring at you while squinting his eyes. “Hotel? He is staying with you, Y/N?! That’s dangerous, why are you—don’t tell me.. You’re not staying in the same room, right?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunched, disliking the fact that Taehyung looks really bothered at the fact that you are staying with him. “So what if we are? Do you have a problem with that?”

You bite your lower lips in distress at both of the guys who look like they are ready to have the showdown of their lives. Fuck, why does this have to happen now?!

*

If you had any thoughts that Taehyung and Jungkook will be fighting because of you, you were surely an idiot—because right now it’s like you literally don't even exist. Both of those idiots are too busy playing phone games as teams while laughing like maniacs, while you are busy trying to finish all your work before having to rush to Seoul in an hour. Yes, you don’t really have anything left for them to work on, but… it feels difficult when you don’t even understand what they are doing with their damn phones.

“Taehyung, what the hell… you can’t fucking shoot! He was literally in front of you!” Jungkook groans at his phone, then Taehyung kicks him on the shin until the younger guy hiss in pain. You roll your eyes, fucking child they were.

“Jungkook, let’s go. We need to head back to Seoul.”

“Why?! There’s another hour! There’s no need to rush, you know.” Jungkook pleads, yet not even looking at you. Since Taehyung steals a glance at you, he immediately notices you are not in a mood for a joke. At all.

“Five minutes. This will be finished, okay? You can get ready, Y/N.” Taehyung replies calmly and even with deep resentment, you still comply and pack up your belongings.

Just another thirty seconds and Taehyung is cursing before throwing his phone back at the table. “Fuck, I’m dead.”

“That’s because you suck.” Jungkook mocks playfully, and Taehyung rolls his eyes at the childish remarks. Taehyung turns to you scrolling on your phone, looking as unbothered as ever—even if he knows how irritated you are right now. That’s probably on how much he understands you.

“Hey, Y/N. When can we meet your mom?”

Jungkook suddenly chokes on air at that unforeseen statement. What the fuck did he just hear? Why is Taehyung meeting your mother?

Only sending Jungkook weirded out stares, you turn to Taehyung. “I’m planning on going back tomorrow, as I haven’t gone back for weeks. You want to come with me?”

“Sure, that’d be great.” Taehyung nods, literally insensitive to Jungkook’s hazy state as more information comes in.

“Okay, should we meet directly at my mother’s?”

“No, I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. I’m going back to Seoul tonight for a drink with Jimin, Yoongi and Hobi.”

“Ah, drunkard night. Must be fun.” You sarcastically joke and Taehyung is unable to deny as he giggles. Meanwhile on the other side Jungkook’s sight is literally shaking, probably to the current state he is in. Fucking pathetic is what he is.

“So, did you receive my flowers this morning?”

Your mouth and eyes are forming a full circle, remembering the gifts resting on your desk nearly every morning from last week. “That was you?!”

“Yes.” He giggles with reddening cheeks which literally sends flutters inside your chest. Not even once you thought Taehyung would be the one behind those thoughtful gifts. “I just want to give it to you. I hope it’s not a bother.”

“It’s not, but you shouldn’t have…” You suddenly feel guilty for not realizing it any sooner. Of course it’s him, who would be? But by the fact how bad your vague relationship ended nearly a year ago, it’s hard to imagine him being the one sending those.

“I want to! Don’t be like that, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Abruptly the sound of chair feet against the floor is heard as Jungkook stands up. He looks at you with an undeciphered smile, yet you literally can’t even look him straight in the eyes. God, you don’t want everything to be like this in the first place. “Let’s go, Y/N. I’m done.”

“Good. You should go, the traffic can be bad.” Taehyung nods in understanding, insensitive to Jungkook’s killing aura that you literally are on the edge of. He quickly walks out of the room without even a goodbye, and you nervously look back at Taehyung again.

“Taehyung, I’ll go now.”

In a blink, you find Taehyung is now hugging you closely inside his arms. It doesn’t last long though—and you literally don’t know what to feel about that. Your feelings are too complicated.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Be safe.”

You hum and directly walk out, not even seeing Jungkook right on the door. Slightly panicked, You walk outside to the elevator and he is there, hands buried in his pocket, his jaw clenched and eyes that literally screams fire. Everything literally makes you dizzy.

God, you don’t really know how you’d make it a few hours being with him...

And fuck were you right, because after thirty minutes settling inside his car on the way to Seoul, there’s no sound beside the radio between the two of you. The air was so tense like you can slice it and choke it down your throat, and probably it would be better rather than having to face Jungkook’s expected silence at you.

“Jungkook, it’s been half an hour. Are you going to ignore me like this?”

Jungkook sighs, but still not sparing you even a glance. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“Then talk. No one is stopping you.” He irks.

“But I want to talk to you without that scary face you are having right now.”

“Y/N, I don’t want to be like this. Please let me be angry in peace.” He finally looks at you with a hint of sadness on his eyes. “I don’t want to say anything I’d regret.”

Another five minutes of silence until you decide to speak out your mind. “Do you want to know what happened with me and Taehyung?” You carefully ask, he looks at you and lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“Why do you think I want to know that?”

At the bluntness, you feel completely ashamed of yourself for thinking and assuming way beyond you should. You duck your head in shame. “Sorry.”

Jungkook then realizes he has been too far with his angry game, and instantly reaches out to you in regret. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean that.”

But it’s too late because you are already crying and you don’t even know why. You’re usually not this much of a crybaby. “Fuck, you are really that self centered, you know? How can you say that? Is it too wrong for me to assume that whatever the fuck you are angry about is because of me and Taehyung?”

Jungkook locks his hand with you, and even if you are struggling to let your hands go, you are still too weak compared to him. “I’m sorry. I was angry at myself, Y/N. I was angry because I know you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve my nonsensical wrath. I was too selfish, I’m sorry.”

“You are.”

“I am.”

“You fucking are.”

“I am. So please accept my apology, hmm?”

Another thirty minutes of sulking, while Jungkook doesn't even say another word and only moves to massage through your hands. You know how apologetic he was, and he probably doesn’t mean it as well. And since you know that your wrath is already dissipating, you proceed with your story, not even caring whether Jungkook wants to listen or not.

So you go through everything. Every single detail about what happened with you and Taehyung. And it would be a lie to say that it doesn’t affect Jungkook even a little bit, because seeing your gleaming eyes and your voice telling every word about your relationship with him, Jungkook knows how important he is to you, and how much of the past you have together with him written on the pages of your lives. The relationship you have with him, lasts a whole four years and even more. How can he even consider to compete with that?

And one question does bother his mind. Do you still love him?

But no. He is not taking that risk. He doesn’t want to break down now. So he lets out a statement that somehow, even with the huge consideration, still succeeds in killing all will inside his body.

“He was really special, right?” Jungkook asks as a past tense.

You look down to your lap.

“Yes, he really is.”

*

You are already settling inside your blanket, ready to drift off to sleep yet your mind is wide awake. Everything is so overwhelming lately, you don’t even know what to do with yourself. Everything about Taehyung and Jungkook is more than confusing, and you really don’t like yourself right now.

“Argh!” Just when you are kicking the blanket off your legs, suddenly a loud knock is head on your front door. Who could it be? Is it Namjoon? But you are a bit uncertain it is him, since Namjoon does not usually come home this early on a Friday night. Damn it, you really need another activity other than waiting for him to come home like a sad sexless innkeeper.

Another boom on your door and you rush to open it. “Wait!”

But instead of the face of drunk Namjoon on your door, you find Jungkook’s instead. And it could be the last person you expect to be standing in front of your door right now, with a bottle of wine and a pack of cheese.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

He shyly scratches his nape. “Ah, actually I was drinking with my cousin and his girlfriend so I steered clear to give them space and went to your apartment instead. Sorry to disturb you. Were you going to sleep?”

“Was going to, but I can’t sleep.” You answer truthfully, looking back at him. Jungkook is only wearing a black t-shirt with loose pants, his hair is messily tousled yet irritatingly still looks very breathtaking to you, his lips are eye-catchingly shimmering—a habit he adopted from you to deal with dry lips. You immediately feel self-conscious about what you were, an old night dress that doesn’t really do anything except making you feel comfy to sleep.

“Can I come in?” He vigilantly asks after a few minutes of odd silence. You instinctively scoot out of his way and let him walk inside your fortress.

“Your apartment is nice.” He compliments, resting the wine and cheese on the table to walk around the apartment, through the photos and embellishment. “Very cozy. And everything here screams you.”

“Thanks. High chance that’s the reason why Namjoon is very, very vigilant about bringing women back to this apartment, I think.” You joke and giggle, even though your head is filled with anxiety of the fact that Jungkook is visiting your apartment at ten pm. The last time he visited you around this time you couldn’t walk the next morning, so… yeah, you feel entitled to be nervous.

“Let me get the glasses and bottle opener.” You stutter, abruptly walking to your compartment. You let out a few deep breaths, trying to assemble your head straight once again. Fuck, why can’t you just speak like a normal person? It’s just Jungkook for god sake, and he’ll only be here for a drink—probably to celebrate the result of your presentation this evening to the boards. And then he’ll be gone, and you’ll go to sleep. Yet you somehow doubt it.

Walking back, you find Jungkook is settled on your couch, his eyes are looking at the bottle of wine on the table, yet you know those stares are too far and empty. It’s proven with how he is startled when you soundly occupy the seat beside him.

“You okay?”

He glances at you and his lips turn into a thin curve. “I am. Sorry, I was zooming out.”

“It’s fine, but sure you're okay?”

The smile widens until it shows his extraordinary bunny teeth, his palm hovering around your arm. “I am good, but can be better after a glass of this wine. Don’t worry about me now.”

In a short while, a glass of wine is already served on your grasp, while Jungkook is busy picking songs to play on your bluetooth speaker. Right when a smooth violin sound is heard, you reluctantly open up a conversation.

“Thank you.” You lower down your gaze to your fidgeting fingers. “For everything. You literally saved my ass from even getting denounced from my position. I still can’t believe everything could be so messed up.”

“I know it must have been difficult—with Junsu now investigated for supplier fraud.” He whispers slowly. You knew that all the untally reports and data are from Junsu, and now he is being investigated for fraud. It could have been worse, since in the beginning it was you whom the board suspected—since you are the one creating the report—but as what you and Jungkook has proved after going back to plant and going through all the documentation, the lead is now on Junsu.

“Hey. You don’t need to worry. If he’s not doing it, it would be proven.” Jungkook rests his palm over yours, squeezing it a little after seeing the contorts on your face. He is able to easily read how perturbed you are right now with the fact that your teammate is indeed in trouble.

“Yes, you’re right.” You nod after taking a few deep breaths, sipping the tasteful liquid down your throat to subside your anxiety. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

But even still, Jungkook knows it is not effectively working. You are still in possession of the habit he found whenever something deeply bothers your mind. He identified it during your presentation this evening, or the night you ran away after your parents quarreled, even the day both of you were pugnaciously fighting and ended with separation a few years ago.

“Hey.” Jungkook envelopes your quivering fingers and pulls you closer to him, hand buried in your hair. “Please don’t worry. I don’t—I feel terrible when you’re sad.”

And then it was silence. All you can feel is Jungkook’s warmth all over your body, his arm around your shoulder, your head leaning on his shoulder, while your mind is in haze, wandering far, far away. Then you broke off the silence with something that has indeed been bothering you a lot.

“I don’t know since when, but I’m getting weaker every time.”

Jungkook hum as a notion for you to continue. “They say.. They say we should be stronger as we’re getting old. But it’s not for me.” You whisper weakly, holding your fingers together to stop it from quivering. “I hate it. I hate everyday I have to wake up, walking purposelessly. I hate feeling insecure. I hate not knowing where I should go in the long run. I am living, only for the day to pass by. And it’s killing me, that whenever something comes up in my way, I feel.. I feel weak. I’d dry my tears, then spend all the time doubting why I should go through all this pain, but I don’t know any other way.”

You feel every word comes out, Jungkook’s hold around you is tighter. And you’d be crazy not to lean back your every worry to him. “Hey, I understand what you feel. And I think it is a phase in life when we need to rethink everything and start chasing things that make us happy, and let go of the things that are holding us back. Life is about the journey, not a mere destination. No need to rush in anything, hmm?”

You reluctantly nod, agreeing to what he said. What’s inside your head now is only to make lots of money that can sustain your mother’s treatment and family’s lives, and that’s about it. And you love them to death, but you know you don’t want to do this in the long run. Even the sense of accomplishment doesn’t exactly make you happy anymore, and it’s mentally tiring as fuck to be doing something you know that is extracting you from everything you used to love about life. You’re practically a zombie now, with no sense of directions.

“Have you ever felt this way before? Like.. Helpless. And no matter how you think that you should do something about it, you can’t because you’re fucking scared?”

At that, Jungkook smiles and pecks the top of your head. His heart clenched at what you just said, cause that's exactly what he felt before he did something about it. “Yes. I felt that when I was in the States. I was helpless, visionless, and… day goes by only with me taking it for granted, letting myself think that I will never change and I should just suck it in. What they say, I have a great, wealthy family and all—I should be thankful. And that’s also what my father said to me.”

“At one point, I knew I felt humiliated. All I had was given to me, I just had to the bare minimum, and boom—I got it. I knew if I just went with it yet again, I’d go crazy. My father will put me at a gunpoint for what I gained, but I was scared since I was too comfortable.”

You look up to him, feeling the urge to give him comfort somehow. You do realize how contorted Jungkook’s face is now, he is literally so upset that it makes you feel horrible. “I had a fight with my father, as he forced me to move from the small startup I built with my friends to join his partner’s company in Investment Banking. When I rejected, he took a different approach and convinced my friend to cut me off the team. I confronted my father, and it was literally the greatest fight I had with him. Then the plan I purposelessly created became true. I fled to Korea.”

“So..” You whisper, looking down and clear your throat. “Are you still in contact with them?”

“My mother, yes. My father, no.”

“You must be missing them.” You whisper low while caressing his side. “But.. is it worth it? Are you happy now?”

He grins. “It’s worth it, of course—but not yet. But I’m getting there, I think.”

“The more I think about it, being happy is non-negotiable.” You whisper, more to yourself. Before it was just a far dream, but when Jungkook is here beside you to listen, it’s already a true-hearted promise. “And when I get that chance, I will surely prioritize it. At all cost.”

Another twenty minutes of silence just enjoying each other’s warmth, Jungkook’s whine is heard. “Can’t you hug me?”

You mindlessly glance at Jungkook who is now intensely staring you back. But seeing your noticeable confusion, he rolls his eyes and puts your arm around his waist. The blush is inevitable, you are literally holding him with no distance whatsoever. If you just straighten your head, your lips will be locking into his and you’ll lose your breath that easily. Your heart is too fast for your liking, but truth to be told, you wouldn’t trade this moment with him for anything else.

“Did you remember, we literally did this.” Jungkook chuckles, stroking your hair in somehow a very affectionate way. “That time, during the party and you force me to take you in after your parent’s fight. We were back to my room, and then we just hugged it out and you told me everything that happened.”

You nod with a distant smile, remembering how you literally came crying when Jungkook was in the middle of a beer pong with his friends, but he didn’t even wait another minute in complying to your request, seeing how hysterical you were. “Yes. I remembered how after we watched Bruce Almighty. It’s freaking nuts.”

“Let’s watch it again.” He giggles after refilling the glass for wine. “For old time sakes.”

The next five minutes you are scrolling down your netflix, Jungkook is contemplating whether he should ask the question that has been bothering his mind. The alcohol on his spine did help though—it is easier to just go with what he wants to say regardless of the rationality his mind would stop him.

“So tomorrow, you’d be with Taehyung? To your mother’s house?”

Indifferently nodding, you click on the movie. “My mother has been asking a lot about him, and I just reasoned that he moved away and was busy. I don’t want to let her know we’re not… close anymore.”

“Taehyung is actually that important, huh?” Jungkook asks, staring down to his drinks. The fact predictably settles strangely inside his chest, and it is fucking suffocating that he knows he has nothing and no one to blame but himself for feeling this way. “Understandable, though. Four years—I wouldn’t say I am shocked.”

“It is a long time indeed.”  

“I hope I have someone like that too.” He stopped for a while, eyes faraway. “So at least I can tell you that I stopped thinking about you after you left.”

That statement literally freezes all your movement—to the point that you think it’s all just your drunk hallucination. “What are you talking about?”

“I never stopped… thinking about you.” He dubiously murmurs, eyes trailed down his lap. “After I broke up, I’m still thinking about us, what could have been, and… regret?”

“Regret?”

“I know this might sound creepy, but.. After you left, I tried finding your whereabouts and what you’re up to. And after knowing what you’ve been through, I felt tremendous regret for being such a jerk to us.”

Suddenly, just when you’re about to turn around as you’re desperate to see through his eyes, he clutches on you, latching on your back. “I lied when I said I loved you, because I am still in love with you, Y/N. I know it’s silly—we were only a month together, not even official—but I just can’t shake the feeling away. Especially after seeing you again, talking to you again now..”

“And if you asked my last night why I worked in your company—it’s because after arriving, I was in a phase where I don’t know what I should do. At least if I work with you, I can see you again, and apologize, but at first we were not in the best term. But even then, I was happy to see you and talk to you again.”

Then, at once, you feel the back of your shirt is soaked wet. Your heart clenched with pain and sadness at how pained Jungkook must have been all these times. “Y/N, I am very sorry…”

“You told me you’re staying! You said you’ll stay with your father, with me here.” Jungkook cried when you told him you needed to move back to Seoul with your mother after the divorce. “You said your mother is horrible, Y/N. You are not doing this for yourself. You can’t leave.”

“Fuck, don’t act like you care about me now, Jungkook. You know, I was always wondering why you suddenly introduced yourself that night, but it’s because of Alex, right? Because I rejected him—and you wanted to check for yourself!”

Jungkook slammed the table in front of him that made you flinch. “Don’t you dare to change the topic. You’ll leave your father, your life here and me, because of your horrible mother that always made you cry, feel alone and horrible. Why are you so naive, Y/N?!”

You were already crying by then, the frustration built up in your chest. You knew the reason was already on the tip of your tongue—your mother is terribly sick and needed you the most—but you couldn’t let it out. Jungkook didn’t deserve to know. “Don’t act like you know me. One month fucking and you already think you can read me like a book? Grow up.”

“One month.. Fucking?” Jungkook weakly whispered, the tears were building up on the corner of his eyes. “Fine. I don’t fucking care about you. Fuck off to wherever, I don’t care.”

“Sure. You only cared about me because of a fucking bet anyway, right?!” You cried, the grief and constant fear of the end approaching, when Jungkook walked away.

It was the end.

The memory of your separation with Jungkook flashes inside your mind like it was just yesterday. You remember every word, every feeling, every tear spent that day. You couldn’t even count how many times you wished everything was different.

Jungkook is crying on your back, and you force to turn and see him right through his eyes. “Apology accepted, Jungkook. I was at fault too. I should’ve been clearer. I should’ve said it better. I am sorry too..”

You wipe his tears with your two palms and hug him, your chest against his, your arm around his waist. “Please don’t cry, hmm?”

Another seconds of light sniffles until he opens his voice. “You know, this is better than what I expected. With how many years has passed in guilt, I could’ve been puking with tears.” He lightly jokes and you giggle. Fuck, how is he so cute now?

“By the way, just in case you forgot—I just said I love you. It still stands.” Jungkook thinly smiles, his fingers fixing the strands of your hair falling in front of your eyes. Your heart is beating unhealthily fast now. “I don’t need you to answer now, of course. I just… I just want you to know.”

“I know.” You whisper softly, leaning into your will to tiptoe and press your lips against his. Jungkook instinctively closes his eyes, feeling the wondrous taste of cherry chapstick and wine from your lips. The feeling is addictive and wondrous that he seriously thinks he is hallucinating right now.

You are about to release the kiss, when his firm palm secures on your back, pressing your waist against his, his lips are chasing yours to engage in another breath-taking kiss. You welcome it at once, arms settling around his neck. “Tell me if you want to stop.” He murmurs into the kiss, but you’re way into cloud nine to stop. You’d be insane to let him go now.

His palm travels south to grab the flesh off your ass and pushes his hips closer to yours—if it’s even possible. You can make out the hard-on he has nurtured for a while now, and instantly suck your breath. “You can feel it, babe? It’s because of you—being such a minx tonight. Are you really going to keep on teasing me like this?”

You grin, feeling the adrenaline rush with the realization that you have Jungkook here, beside you, whispering you all these dirty words to your ear. You shift to press butterfly kisses to his neck all the way to his collarbones—encouraged by the bemoan he is letting out, intending to suck marks on his sun kissed skin until he gruffly pushes you away.

“Who gave you rights to mark me now, huh kitten?” He throatily purrs, swiftly scooping you into his arms, both your legs are crutched around his waist with his painful erection knocking on your clothed entrance. You spend no more second to entangle your lips with his again, his tongue gladly seeking warmth from yours—and god, he feels amazingly sweet, the taste of wine vivid on your taste bud. Fuck, he seriously can’t drive you crazier than this.

“Don’t want Namjoon to see my dry cum on your sofa, right babe?” Jungkook hoarsely wheezes, and those words literally screws all leftover sanity inside of you. Fuck, you missed this so much. Drowned in lust and desperate for friction, you find yourself continuously rubbing your core to his erection, until he paces you for himself. “Stop. I didn’t bring extra pants with me, babe—don’t wanna go home with pants wet with cum now.”

Jungkook hurriedly pushes your bedroom doors and throws you away on bed. “Y/N. Tell me to stop now, or I’ll never get a grip until I can finally have you.”

Instead of giving an answer, you inch closer until your fingers are in contact with his pants’ band. “You need help with that?” You brave yourself to whisper, gazing innocently right to his lust-darken eyes.

“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me.” He gratefully bemoans, as your finger moves to detached his pants and boxer to the ground—his erection immediately springs like never before. It is such a pretty, thick and long dick that your saliva literally pools. You instantly get on your knees, closing with eagerness to have a taste until he stops your advancement by pushing you to the bed.

“Not today, kitten. Maybe tomorrow—I need to have you now or I’ll go nuts.”

You pout, stubbornly moving to give a good caress on the length, satisfied with how Jungkook’s pupil immediately dilates at your ministry. “Are you sure, baby? I can do anything for you, though. My throat is ready for you to choke on.”

“Stop it. I want to be inside you now.” He hastily howls, so close to creaming your palm now that he needs to stop you. Jungkook’s mind is on cloud nine with your warm fingers around his girth, but he realizes he needs to have his dick pushed inside your cunt now, not even your hand or mouth can make it up. “Take off that fucking dress.” He orders.

“Yes, anything for you, sir.” You literally do not know what kind of courage is seeping through your vein, but seeing how affected he is literally made you ecstatic to tease him more. You briskly moves the satin night dress to your head and throws it across the room, baring all your lower body area.

“No underwear? Fuck, kitten, you better not act this carelessly when your roommate is here.” Jungkook breathily irks, enjoying the view of your almost naked body against him, yet spends no more second to detach your bra until your breasts are dangling freely. He immediately sucks a breath at the amazing sight.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Jungkook throatily whispers, more to himself before he engulfs both your breasts with his palm. He moves to pinch your hardened pebbles, feeling high with your moans that is literally a green light inside his mind that you are indeed enjoying his act. He swiftly buries your right nipple inside his mouth, giving it a light suck, flicking it with his skillful tongue which turns you to a moaning mess. You close your eyes, feeling the tension inside your body build up while cradling his face closer to you, your fingers pulling the hair on his scalp. You do not even realize his left hand has left your breast, now moving to circle your bare clit, and you instantly mewl in pleasure.

“What are you so wet for, kitten? Tell me.” He breathily hisses, moving to coat his two fingers with your remnants, dips it inside his mouth and licks it dry. Your pupil dilates at such a dirty act, but still Jungkook is unhappy with your lack of response, he hits your throbbing cunt. “Use your fucking tongue to answer.”

You instantly mewl to reply, albeit stuttering when you feel his forefinger finally buries inside of you. “Of course you, sir. I am wet because of you.”

Jungkook grins in satisfaction, before he wastes no mercy and buries three fingers inside you, stretching you deliciously until you whimper in satisfaction. “So freaking wet, I bet I can slide right in. Are you going to let anyone do this to you, kitten? Hmm?”

“No, sir...” You groggily answer, your head is soaked in all kinds of lust.

“Louder! Let your fucking neighbors hear it.” Jungkook growls, pushing his digits further inside until you claw on his clothed shoulder. Fuck him for still being in his shirt—you’d do anything to mark him now.

“No, sir. Only you can make me like this…”

He sinisterly laughs, pleased with your easy compliance. “You better not be lying, kitten. Don’t you let anyone do this to you, especially fucking Kim Taehyung.”

Your eyebrows immediately scrunched at the name, but it could probably be the last thing you can contemplate now that his fingers are still beautifully moving in and out of your wet cunt. “I will, I fucking will. But get this fucking shirt off and fuck me, sir—I need to feel you bare against me.”

As he is about to enter you, he suddenly freezes. “Do you have a condom here?” He breathily asks, realize that he did not take even one with him—as fucking you was literally the last possibility he could think of before. God, does he really need to stop now?

“I don’t have a condom—but I am on the pill and safe, I swear.” You whisper, the ache on your core starting to cloud your head and better judgement. Fuck, Jungkook better be fast or you’ll be dead by then.

“Me too. I tested myself back in the States, and haven’t been sleeping with anyone since.”

“Really? How can?” You unconsciously ask, seriously flabbergasted with the fact that Jungkook hasn't fucked anyone after he moved into the city. The Jungkook you knew was so much of a god of stamina—he literally lasted five rounds with you before and still managed to have an erection after, when you can’t even feel your legs. He is that crazy for sex.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’ll tell you all about it later, but I need to fuck you raw now or I’ll go insane.” He hurriedly answers, instantly throws his shirt away as his whole body is bare against yours. Jungkook reaches for his dick, as his fingers move to give it a few strokes. He is now coating it with your remnants by hitting your entrance lightly with his dick. Even with such action you are already a moaning mess, as you bit your lips in anticipation.

Yet when the head is about to dip inside you, you reach for the bed sheet, clenching the fabric harshly. You haven’t been sleeping around for months now, you’re sure it’s going to hurt a bit—especially with that excessive size of his.

“How are you so freaking big? Fuck, don’t go too rough on me, Jungkook..” You softly  whisper, and Jungkook instantly nods. No matter how crazy and a true dom he is, he would not hurt or go against your consent—that’s just how much he loves and respects you.

Even with the heavy urge to fuck you senseless like he wants to, he surely takes his whole joyful time in making love. His length pushing inside you, stretching you wondrously that the pain turns into pleasure in no time. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks your nipple to keep you on the edge. “Damn, you are wonderful. I can’t believe I was able to live those years without this taste.”

“Fuck, Jungkook.” You moan, biting your lips as you nearly can’t hold yourself from screaming. How can sex with Jungkook be this mindblowing? You had one night stands previously with other person, but sex with him is like on another level—that’s probably what feelings can do to sex. “Faster, now. Don’t hesitate.”

At the invitation, the worries that he’s going to hurt you dissolve as he fastens and follow his own pace, his dick fucking you senseless with ragged breath. God, how he wishes he can do this every second of the day, buried inside you, looking at your pleasured face drowned in lust and pleasure, your beautiful moans and fingers scratching his back. He’d trade anything to have you like this again.

“Fuck, kitten, how are you so tight? I am fucking close.” Jungkook groans as he chases his high, sensing your walls are now clenching him tightly. He inches closer to engage you in another kiss, his tongue pushing inside you while his digits are circling your clit. You claw his back, letting out all sound with no holds back as the pleasures are too much now—the orgasm building up inside you, and Jungkook definitely can sense it coming. “Cum now, kitten.”

While Jungkook and you are still engaged in another heated kiss, your high finally comes as you cum on his dick. “Good girl.” He whispers with one last kiss before he chases his own, and not even another second he pulls out, squirting his cum all over your stomach.

You frown, looking at the liquid on your stomach. “Damn it, you should’ve cum inside me. I’m on the pill anyway.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at your remarks, yet he is grinning from ear to ear. He lays beside you, engaging you in another soft, slow kiss as you close your eyes, your palms settled on the side of his face. “I love you.” He whispers after letting go, his beautiful doe eyes literally shining with the creases that is apparent whenever he is smiling wide. It seeps warmth to your heart.

The reply for his confession is already at your tongue, but Jungkook quickly scoots away to stand on the floor. You bit your lips, disliking the fact that he is too far from your reach, no matter how fast he’ll be back. You need him here, to ensure that everything is not just a wet dream of yours. “Come back, don’t leave me.” You whine, and Jungkook giggles breathily.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, clingy McGee. I’ll get you a wet towel.”

Another minute and Jungkook is back with what he promised, as he closes beside you and wipes his own cum off your stomach.

“What a waste. You should’ve cum in my tongue and let me swallow it all.” You mutter half joking half seriously while yawning, as your eyes follow his every movement. He sends you a warning glare, unhappy with your constant teasing.

“If you don’t want me to pin you against the matters now and fuck you against the wall until you’re screaming for mercy, stop it.”

“Geez, sooo grumpy.” You giggle, scooting closer to him as in chase of heat after he settles beside you, draping the blanket to cover both your bodies.

“I’ll take you up on that tomorrow, though.” He lightly giggles, and you’re the one now rolling your eyes on him. He envelopes you around his arm, pressing another kiss on your forehead before caressing your head to sleep—just the way he remembers would instantly send you to slumber.

But no matter how tired you already are, your body are still high on adrenaline due to the great sex you just had—you just cant seems to sleep. Not when Jungkook is here holding you close, looking at you like that with evident love in his eyes. And suddenly an idea pops inside your head, until you smirk in mischief.

“Why are you smiling like that? I told you to sleep.” He asks cautiously. You shrug to pretend innocence, before scooting closer until your bare waist is glued on his own, slightly rubbing it against his semi-hard dick. Wow, the self control on this guy is impressive for not initiating a second round.

Jungkook immediately curses at your teasing, yet the pleasure in his face is unmissed. “Fuck, what are you—“

“I’m sweating, Jungkook. I want to take a shower.” You whine seductively, your fingers stray to the lower parts of his body now, caressing his semi. Jungkook’s eyes are now unmistakably dark, as you realize that you might just awaken the true dom in Jungkook.

“I was literally being civil since you got to go back home with fucking Taehyung tomorrow, but damn—I’ll fuck you so bad anyone know who fucked you tonight, huh? I’ll make sure you can’t walk straight tomorrow, kitten.” He smirks, and that literally sends jitters right to your core in deep anticipation. You missed it—the feeling of Jungkook mercilessly fucking you like there’s no tomorrow.

Jungkook instantly scoops you out of bed in one movement, the blanket falls on the floor.   Your legs are linked around his waist, your throbbing entrance pressed against his erection as you rub it for relief. His mouth aggressively attacking yours for domination, as his firm legs walk towards your shower.

“Let’s get my kitten thoroughly cleaned, okay?” Jungkook teasingly moans to your ear, his thumbs are now pinching your hardened nipples. Your whole body shivers.

Thus begin the best sex you ever have in your whole life.

*

You wake up groggily with the sunshine seeping through your window. What happened with you, why are you feeling the biting pain all over your body? The memory of last night instantly hits you like an explosion.

You had sex with Jungkook—which lasted three freaking rounds.

And fuck wasn’t he holding back. He literally was just like you remembered, a true dom that sent your knees weak, pleasuring you like nobody could. He took care of your body like it's the only thing on his mind—and you would be lying if you say you didn’t enjoy his true dom self released, marking you all over your body with love bites, forcing you to plead for his mercy and leaving you breathless nearly all the time.

But he is not here now.

You gaze to the cold side of your bed where Jungkook slept last night. It must be long since he left, only with a small note on your bedside that ensures you that what happened last night isn’t just a mere dream.

Hi, thanks for last night. I had to leave, something urgent came up. See you around.

Fuck, if that wasn’t such a lousy note to start the day with. Such a fool you are to expect the sex matters to you as much as it is to him.

Regardless of the ticked off feeling you had for Jungkook, you scoot off your bed, trying to use both your throbbing legs to stand up. The pain instantly shoots up that you instantly bite your lips, limping your way out of the door. Fuck Jungkook, you loathe that fucker so much now.

“Whoa whoa—slow down babe.” Namjoon instantly shouts after you’re carelessly limping out of the door closer to him. “Someone got a good dicked down yesterday.” He teases, and you sent him an annoyed expression.

“Why are you so grumpy? You finally had sex after months, you should be glowing.” Namjoon giggles while stirring his coffee. You flip him off, settling to sit on the sofa. “You want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.” You mutter. “What time did you come back home?”

“Around two, maybe? Wasn’t really in my best state of mind, so that could be wrong too. What’s up?”

He walks closer to you, offering a cup of coffee with scent that succeeds in relaxing your mind a bit. “I did not meet the guy, you don’t have to worry. Who was it anyway? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Around two? He left before two? “Did you check up on me when you come?” You ask dubiously, knowing Namjoon has always checked up on you when he arrives in the apartment.

“Yes, there was no one. I saw you sleeping, and went to my room right after.”

“Fuck—he really left that early?!” You hiss, not liking the fact that he left you just later after you sleep with such a lousy note that clearly indicates nothing—he probably uses the same note for all his previous one night stands.

“But.. You know, it could be weird for strangers to stay the night after sex—“

“But he’s not a stranger.” You vengefully replied, the hurt evident in your tone. “It’s Jungkook. Jungkook slept with me yesterday and fled right after with a fucking lousy ‘thanks for last night’ note.”

“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook?” He asks with goggling eyes. He seriously thought he misheard your words. “But you hated him.”

“It was complicated. We.. We had a past together. And these few days just rekindled those feelings, and.. I thought he was really serious about it.” You whispers, the tears are welling in the corner of your eyes. “I tried thinking positively, that he really had something to do, but he left so quickly and also with this note.. got me thinking. Was it too fast? What if everything is just in my head, and he’s only after sex?”

Namjoon looks at the yellow note on your grasp, taking it to read the messy handwriting for himself. Yet no matter how hard he thinks about it, he understands your doubt. It was indeed a messy, hurried note that he indeed heard people often leave their one night stand.

“It’s still uncertain. Just talk to him, okay?” Namjoon asks, his palm resting on your knees and giving it a light squeeze. “There might be something you don’t know yet.”

You sigh, crumpling the note and throwing it carelessly. “I fucking hate him.”

“Hey, by the way you left your phone here, and Taehyung called this morning.” He informs, but you know that expression he wears—something is troubling his mind.

“What is that face?” You instantly point. “You always use that expression when you have something to say.”

“You know me so well.” Namjoon grins, eyes trained on the coffee on his grasp. “I had a drink with Taehyung and others yesterday. And yeah, after the drink, I just think that he.. He might be still in love with you.”

“What do you mean?” Your eyebrows scrunched, severely confused.

“That’s all I can say. If you want to know, better ask the man himself. You’re meeting him soon, right?” Namjoon reminds you, and you abruptly stand up—still holding back the pain, after being reminded that Taehyung shall be here in no time.

“And, Y/N?”

You halt your steps, looking back to the guy. “What?”

“Just.. don’t hesitate. Go with your heart.” Namjoon advises. Your throat constricts. Follow your heart? You don’t even understand what that idiot wants. Your heart is a drunk fool, doesn’t really know what’s good for itself, and always foolishly seeks something that is not going to happen. Why should you go with it?

He is apparently not done, and clears his throat and points to his own neck. “And maybe, put some concealer on? Don’t want your mother to have a heart attack seeing those marks on your neck.”

And that’s how in forty minutes, you ended up wearing navy green turtleneck and long skinny jeans—thankfully the chilly weather does support your outfits—descending your apartment building after Taehyung said he’s already parked in front. You were distinctly nervous, going back to your family home with Taehyung after the longest time. Just being around him sends you on your edge, and you could only wish nothing is going to mess everything up.

The first thing you see when the elevator is opened is Taehyung’s face that you abruptly take a step back in shock. His face immediately lightens up. “Good morning. You’re here.”

“Yes. I thought I’ll see you in your car?”

“Sure, I just thought it would be great to see your apartment.” Taehyung answers, a soft smile appearing on his lips. Namjoon’s sentences instantly pass through your head as a warning. You clear your throat.

“Namjoon is upstairs, though...”

“So? Is that a problem for me to see your apartment?” He mischievously teases, pulling you to exit the apartment. “What were you thinking, huh?”

“Nothing!” You abruptly answer, silently letting Taehyung hold your palm against his, no matter how conflicted it makes you feel.

“By the way, are you okay, babe?” Taehyung asks in concern after arriving at the car, reminding you to put on your seatbelt. Your eyebrow raises.

“I think so. Why?”

“Did you fall or anything? You are..  Kind of limping.” He questions in deep concern, looking straight to your eyes. At once, your breath hastens with anxiety. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Of course—I fell in the shower yesterday, and got hurt a bit, yeah..” You tightly mutter. At least it was not a hundred person lie.

Gosh, how you wish you can punch that annoying motherfucker now…

*

“Taehyung! You’re here!”

You glare at your beaming mother slightly skipping to welcome both of you from her tended yard, crushing Taehyung in a big hug. “Mom, I’m right here too. And last time I checked, I’m the one who is related by blood to you.”

“Don’t be such a party pooper, Y/N.” Taehyung giggles, affectionately hugging back your mother. “I’m sorry mom, Y/N is soooo grumpy this morning. She may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“It’s just I haven’t seen you in so long. How is my precious son doing?!” Your mother beams, instantly welcoming Taehyung inside the house, leaving you alone to pick up the fruits and cake you brought from Seoul. But not even long, the scowl changes into a contented smile on your lips.

You are grateful that nothing really changes, especially with Taehyung. He is still the one person you can depend the most in this whole world.

Suddenly, among your wandering thoughts your phone rings. You hurriedly pick up, not even checking the caller. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N?” You notice the change of language, and silently checks the number. Abroad numbers? Suspicious.

“Yes, this is she.” You doubtfully answer.

“Hello, This is Jess. I’m here in Seoul today, can we meet?”

Jess? Who is Jess? You can’t literally remember anyone called Jess beside… your friend back in the States. You were not even remotely close, so there’s no way it could be her.

“Sorry, but which Jess?”

She instantly clears her throat, probably embarrassed at the possibility of you not remembering. “We went to the same high school back in the States, before your parents divorced and you moved to Korea.”

So that’s the correct Jess then. But that still doesn’t explain why she is calling you right now, especially with that unnecessary mention of your parent’s divorce. “Ah, I remember now. But why? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes, I am in Seoul now. I have to talk to you about something, I promise it won’t take a while.”

“But why? We haven’t talked in years, what could possibly be the reason why we should meet?” You annoyedly point out, not even caring that you have turned hostile to her. You really don’t want to waste any time, especially with Taehyung now at the door, signing you to come in.

“It’s about Jungkook.” She curtly answers, and your heart literally skips a beat at the name. What’s with Jungkook? Your heart clenches with the fear rising in your chest.

“His family and I are here now to take him back to the States, so I have to let you know something. Let’s meet.”

*

It is not long until you and Jess are already sitting in front of each other inside a cafe near your family home. You left Taehyung at home with your family, and promised them you’ll be back in no time.

“You want to order something? My treat.” The girl says after ordering her drinks. You shake your head, not even enjoying the seconds uselessy passed with her. You are just desperate to get it over with and head home.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t remember you being this uptight, Y/N. Loosen up, will you?”

“Well, you don’t know, probably because we weren’t even that close?” You shoot and sigh. “Can we just go straight to the point? My mother is waiting at home.”

Jess hums. “And Kim Taehyung too?”

You glare at her, the uneasiness rising in your head. You have no idea why she should know anything about Taehyung. “What the—”

“I’ll cut to the chase. Jungkook is his family’s only son. His father already had his future all planned out, but then one day he ran away to work in a country far away, with a job that probably pays a quarter from what he could have back home.” She halts after the waitress serves her drinks. “And then we finds out that he is here because of you, a fucking ex—who was just a mere fuck buddies. So we need you to think straight and stop seeing him.”

You stare at her for a full minute until you break in laughter. “What’s funny?” She irks.

“Fuck, this is all just like a midday telenovela, that’s what.” You giggle, still finding mirth in her previous statement. You clear your throat, and send her an not amused look. “Let me fill you in. I don’t fucking care. He’s here because himself, you’re thinking too highly of that one month we fucked. And who are you to say that anyway? You’re his mother or what?”

Jess condescendingly smirks in triumph. “I am his girlfriend. We have been dating all through college before he moved here. I have all right to tell cockroaches like you to scoot off. Besides, you already have Kim, no? Are you really that thirsty for lots of men?”

That statement literally catches you off guard. Girlfriend? Jungkook never mentions anything about a girlfriend. He literally said that he hadn’t been with anyone and that he thought about you most of the time. Was it all… just a lie?

It was like a knock to your chest, but you won’t let it show. “Then you should know better that if you dated all through college, there is no way he could move here because of me.” You calmly explain, the anger and sadness of betrayal building up in your chest. It feels hard to even breathe, and you feel so stupid for believing his words could be true—now that you rewind literally made no sense whatsoever. Jungkook is not with anyone for years, only because of you? Fuck, that’s literally nonsensical.

“And if you’re his girlfriend, you should know he’s here because he is depressed—feeling the inadequacy and constant restriction in doing whatever he wants to do. If you’re his girlfriend, you should support whatever he wants to do for his happiness, instead of teaming up with his father that literally treated him like a fucking robot.” You spit out in dismay, the tears are welling up in your eyes. You hated the fact that you’ve foolishly put your trust on someone undeserving, yet again.

It’s clear now that you have left the girl speechless, and you quickly stomp out of the cafe inside of Taehyung’s car you borrowed. You quickly drive out, with tears freely running on your cheeks, your heart turns hollow and vacant now that you know.

You are a fucking idiot, that’s what.

*

It’s already eleven pm, you are now resting in your room in the family home. Your mother successfully tricked you into staying the night, but Taehyung said he needed to go back to his apartment because he doesn’t have any shirt to change to—denying your mother’s forward offer to let him stay the night with you in your room. The level of trust your mother has in Taehyung is seriously ridiculous—but still he said he’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up, as he needed to work in the headquarters for a full week next week.

‘Are you okay?’ Taehyung queried when he was about to drive back, hand clasped against yours. ‘You seemed a little bit upset after that meeting.’

Even then, you could only answer him with a vague shrug, a hug and you cried. Taehyung didn’t ask any further, patting your back calmly while whispering calming words to your ear. He understood you need your space more than anything, and you were thankful.

But now, flipping on your bed for hours hasn’t drifted you to dreamland yet, especially with a head filled with Jungkook and overwhelming queries on how he’s doing right now. And you hate yourself for still caring—it’s freaking Jungkook, who left you after he had enough, who easily lied to you just to sleep with you. Why can’t you just ditch him like that?

Maybe you’re really in love. A total dumbass.

Suddenly, your phone rings. Unknown numbers. Call with Jess did traumatize you, but not taking it will leave you close to no wink of sleep, so you do.

“Hello?” You warily questions. There are around ten seconds before the familiar sigh is heard on the other side of the call.

“Y/N, this is Jungkook.” The familiar voice is close to whispers, and all you can hear is how tired he sounds. Something definitely stirs inside of you. “Are you in your mother’s home? I’ll be there in ten. Can we talk?”

You know it. You know it very, very well. He might as well done it over the phone—it may hurt less. “Is it urgent? Can’t.. can’t we just do it over the phone?”

“No, we need to talk directly. It doesn’t feel right doing it on the phone.”

Fuck, it’s really is. Jungkook is breaking up with you—with no relationships to begin with. The tears are clamming up on your eyes, and you can only hope you’re strong enough to pretend everything’s okay. Cause you hate to show him how weak you are for him.

And not even ten minutes, Jungkook messages you he’s already waiting outside. You walk outside your room to see that your whole house is already dark—your family must have gone to sleep. Good, so they don’t have to see you bawling your eyes out.

When you are at your porch, you can already make out his silhouette from the car. His hand is on the wheel, other hands are resting on his temples—the lines of his face are harsh and cold. Taking a deep breath, you give yourself one last warning and enter his car.

“What is it?” You curtly ask, and Jungkook looks at you with a weirded out stare.

“Why are you angry?”

You roll your eyes, arms folded on your chest. “Because I know clearly why you are here. Jess explicitly told me about everything—you don’t need to waste both of our times, going all the way here just because you want to break up with me. That too if anything of what we did was more than something to you.”

Jungkook stares at you like you’re spluttering nonsense, which you actually are and it leaves you disconcerted. “What—what the fuck are you saying now?”

You scowl. “No need to lie. I know exactly what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna need to move back, right? And you’ll leave your whole life here—” The tears choke you up. “You’ll leave me here. But let me say it, do whatever, Jungkook. It will be just like before, right? It’s not like we've never done this before.”

If you’re really doing it to hurt him, you succeed. Because the pain is literally insufferable.  “Is that what we mean to you? Are you going to just let everything like this like not a shit happened to us?”

“You’re funny, Jungkook. There’s never been an ‘us’, you know it.” You vex with a sarcastic grin. “There’s never been us. Because you lied to me, fuck me and stood me up like nothing happened, right?”

“That’s not true.” He firmly said. “I left first because of my father, Y/N. He told me he’s in town. I need to meet him, why can’t you understand?!”

“I know that! But you expected me to believe all you said when Jess literally came all the way from the States to tell me to fuck off and that you’re in a relationship with her all through college.” Jungkook freezes on his spot, but you’re not done. “Is that wrong, Jungkook? Tell me she lied and I’ll grovel at your feet for forgiveness.”

At Jungkook’s silence, you can feel a stingy pang inside your chest. It was true, he lied. “So she was right? You lied to me—telling me there was no one, only to sleep with me?”

“It’s not true, Y/N. Jess was just… someone I affiliated with. We were not in a relationship.” He hurriedly tries to explain, hand scratching his hair in frustration. “And why does it matter anyway? It’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter now. I only care about you, you know it.”

“It matters! Because you told me there was no one. Because you lied to me, Jungkook. Why can’t you see how wrong it is?”

“She was just someone I fucked with all through college. Even if she thought there was something else, there was none. I set it straight to her, but she never understands.” He softly whispers now. “I regretted it, Y/N. But you can’t hold it against me. I had no feelings for her.”

You know his words should’ve brought reassurance, but the words clearly strike something inside you—a remembrance of pain. You croak. “You know what, that’s exactly what Taehyung told me that time.”

“What-what’s that fucker doing here in our talk?” His voice raises in displease at your mention of another man during your serious talk. “So was everything about Taehyung? All of this—even when we’re fighting, you’re thinking about him. It was all about him all along.”

“No, but the exact thing happened again. You were being dishonest to me. You hurt me, Jungkook.” You whisper softly, cheeks already flowing with tears that it literally throws him off at how fragile you look. “I can’t… I can’t shake that feeling. How I felt when she said everything, like she owned you, like… like she has rights for you. Like I was someone you played with behind her. It was exactly.. that.”

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to feel that way.” Jungkook whispers and pulls you closer inside his arm, heart clenched in guilt at your weak sob. He hates himself for doing that to you—to let you enter the maze of problems he has tried to escape from a while now. You don’t deserve that. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I know I should’ve been clearer about everything.”

Ten minutes of crying your concern and heart out inside his arms before you open your voice. “So, she was right? Are you leaving, then?”

He dubiously hums. “I have to, otherwise my father will never stop trying to get me back. I’ll try finishing whatever I can there, and come back right after.” He whispers, palms buried on your hair. “I promise it won’t take long. Can you wait for me?”

You look at Jungkook's hopeful eyes and the ‘yes’ is already at your tongue—when something awakens you. You cannot do that to yourself. You cannot let yourself be miserable, waiting for him again like a broken clock. You cannot gamble your way to mend everything when he leaves, not when there’s any possibility like he’ll leave you again like he did. You’re not that strong.

“I can’t.” You shortly reply, and at the unexpected answer, Jungkook is visibly aggrieved.

“Why? Why can’t you? I’ll be back soon, Y/N—Why do you give up on us that easily?” Jungkook is peeved at your easy surrender. He loves you, he is willing to work it out for you, and it weakens him to see you’re not on board to fight for any feelings you both have for each other. “I know you, Y/N. I know me. We had something together. Please, don’t give up on us.”

“I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy?” You shouts, carrying the long pain you have carried throughout your days. “I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt. If I wait for you, I’ll always feel insecure, Jungkook. I’ll always wonder if you’re going back, if you have found someone else, if we’re just going to hurt each other. Because that's what people did to me—to my mother, to us… I can’t.”

Jungkook shudders at the mention of your family. Did he hear it wrong? “Did you mean… your father? But I thought… I thought—”

“Yes.” The hurt multiplies, palpable on your face. “My father lied to me. He is a manipulative jerk who never gave a shit about his family, and made my mother the bad guy in front of me. He didn’t care at all—my mother was struggling with cancer and he didn’t give a shit and still went with the divorce. I just knew after my mother went to find me, beg me to come with her after the divorce.”

The regret at his old self, patronizing you without knowing the truth hits him like a brick. “God, Y/N, I’m sorry. I was—”

“I know. It was such a stressful time, and the pain my mother had to endure because of him—I hated him so much I could die, Jungkook. He hurt me, he hurt us. And he is now living well with his new family, the one he cheated with before. It is not fucking fair.”

Jungkook moves forward to hold you close, his heart wrenching in pain to imagine how agonizing it must have been for you and your mother. “I’m sorry for everything. I was a stupid jerk who thought I knew everything, you had every rights to hate me. I am very, very sorry, Y/N.”

“That’s why I have trust issues. I know very well that one bad apple doesn’t define everything, but it made me more cautious above anything. I can’t afford being weak now, I can’t gamble on the future whether what we had now is gonna last. I don’t want to be naive.”

No matter how he wants to refute your words, he can’t. Because Jungkook understands where you’re coming from, and how traumatizing it must have been. He’d be insensitive to shrug your concern away. “I understand. But I won’t ask for more, Y/N..”

“I’ll be back before December ends.” Jungkook determinedly claims, holding you closer that his nose point is touching yours, warm palms against the side of your face which sends your whole being to instant chaos. His eyes are like a deep sea, that you’re willing to fall in and never out, and all you want to do is hold him close, kiss him and never let go.

“And when we finally meet, I’ll let you know that I will still be loving you then and I’m going to fight for us. No matter what happened.”

*

After having breakfast with both your mother, grandma and Taehyung, you hug the goodbyes. You regret it though, the days passed so quickly and you don’t really have much time to completely be in the moment with your family since your mind is wandering far. If your mother knows, she doesn’t comment—but you know that soft gaze she endows, she is worried for you.

“Goodbye, son! Do visit us regularly, okay?” Your mother beams, hugging Taehyung. She glances at you walking to your room to grab your purse and continues. “I’m very worried for her. Can you please make sure she’s okay?”

“What happened?” Taehyung asks in concern. He did notice something changed after you met your friend yesterday, but it’s definitely getting prominent this morning. 

“Someone came to our house yesterday, and spent some time in the car. After, she walks out crying.” Your mother frets, squeezing Taehyung’s palm. “I’m worried. Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course I will.” Taehyung smiles in a comforting manner, tapping on your mother’s palm. “You can count on me, mom.”

Your mother instantly smiles, as she understands by heart she really can count on Taehyung for you. “Thank you. Get going now!” She gestures to walk you out to Taehyung’s car.

Sitting inside the car, your eyes are trained out the window, minds wandering far to last night’s encounter with Jungkook. He said he’ll be back, and you shouldn’t believe him—you told him you won’t, but deep inside you never stopped wishing his words are true. You foolishly believe him with all your heart.

“Hey.”

Taehyung’s call abruptly takes you off your wandering thoughts, shifting your gaze at him. You clear your throat. “Yes? Sorry, I was daydreaming for a while there.”

“I think you’ve been daydreaming all the time we’re here.”

He said the words softly and didn’t mean anything, yet it instantly hits you with guilt. “I’m sorry, I was—”

“Was it about Jungkook?”

“What?” Your eyes widened, heart literally skips a beat. Are you really that obvious?

Taehyung stares at you for a few seconds, then focusing back on the street. “It’s just a lucky guess. And seeing how shocked you were just now, it must be true.”

“It is.” You look down to your lap. “I’m sorry for concerning you.”

“What are you sorry about.” Taehyung chuckles, tapping the top of your head. “He is finally here. The one you’ve been thinking about all through college, your first love, your first heartbreak is here. You should be happy.”

It’s true though. You can’t even count how many people you have pushed away only because you’re thinking about Jungkook. In the period where everyone is just desperate to find love or mere sex, you are not even remotely close to it. You weren’t with anyone all through college. All because you’re thinking about how it feels right to be with Jungkook, how in love you actually were and how foolish it could be to let go of one thing that could have been true just because you were too deep in emotion.

And Taehyung was one of the people that lived through that phase of shutting any possibility of love. He couldn’t even forget how his college friends, or even strangers asking him why are you so closed off, refusing any advancement anyone did. But Taehyung shrugged it away, because he knew how you still couldn’t forget your first love. He didn’t even know how or why you are still able to hold into that love for such a long time—not until he fell for you himself.

When he asked you to be his girlfriend a year ago and you said yes, he really thought you were ready to move on. Finally. And maybe you were, before he messed up everything and it’s already too late. Because Jungkook is back, and how can he compare to the first love, which vaguely ended and still left a sour taste of regret in your heart.

When he saw Jungkook that morning, he knew. He knew that he didn’t stand a chance. Because it’s apparent how head over heels he is still with you, like you are with him. And he just needs to accept it.

“Go with your heart, Y/N.” Taehyung croaks, holding the deep urge inside him forcing him to stop being such goody two shoes. Taehyung is still in love with you. Madly. He loves you for quite a long time now, and he wanted to be yours. But how can he be selfish when you are clearly struggling like this?

“Do you know? The biggest regret I have is to let you go.” 

You glance at Taehyung, as something stirs inside your heart with him addressing your past. “I regret not making everything clear. I regret not fighting for us. I regret not being honest with you, because I was selfish and too much of a coward.”

“I still love you.” Taehyung whispers, the grip on the wheel tightened. You stare at him, speechless while Namjoon’s past words suddenly run through your mind. “But it’s okay. Because above anything, I want you to be happy. Seeing you being miserable makes me extremely sad, Y/N. Please, just go with your heart and be happy.”

Another minute passed in silence, before you mutter gloomily. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say..”

“Let me guide you, then.” Taehyung smiles, his palm resting over yours and gives it a light squeeze. “Thank you for loving me, Taehyung. I know we’ll get through this, as best friends. And you are right, I’ll go with my heart and try to take risk in love, because even though it might hurt me, at the very least I followed my heart instead of my fear.”

His words literally punch you in the gut, because now that he’s the one saying it to you, it never felt clearer. You indeed have been following your fear, discarding how you truly feel for anything or anyone. You love Jungkook, but being afraid has shielded you from following what you really want to do.

Another ten minutes before you give his hand a light squeeze. “You know, I never thought you'd be that much of a bigger person.” You lightly joke, in which Taehyung responds with a snort. “You were not usually like this. Where’s my selfish and self-righteous bestie at?!”

“Well, don’t consider I’m letting you go just yet.” He shrugs jokingly, rolling his eyes. You heartily laugh at that. “Besides, life is still long, right? Don’t count it on me giving up just yet, Y/N. I might just steal your heart away, and that lucky bastard Jungkook should be nervous.” You gaze at Taehyung who is looking back at you with his signature boxy smile, and your heart lightens. God, how lucky you are to have such a great companion like him.

“You know what? He really should.”

*

7 Weeks Later…

Jungkook is looking at the watch on his wrist. It’s already 4PM in his time and 8AM in Seoul. You must be preparing for work, he thinks to himself, unconsciously smiling. That’s what he does whenever it concerns you. He’ll be adored at the thoughts of you walking hastily inside the office, throwing all your belongings on your desk before you begin working. He always finds it endearing. And then, he’ll miss you. He will miss looking at you, talking and bantering with you again.

But not today, since he’ll be over in Seoul in no time.

All seven weeks back in the States were dreadful, but he managed. He knew that it was longer than expected, but he managed to steal the time to find you again. Because in all sincereness, all that he can think of is you.

blueberry_25 : good thursday morning! Soo happy gonna end the week soon! [16:05]

blueberry_25 : what are you doing this weekend? Do you wanna meet? :) [16:06]

It’s funny how he gives you the space you deserve, yet still manages to talk to you again nearly everyday. All because of the pen pal event held by the company which he has resigned from. He needed to take a long break, and had to resign after. The company did give him an option if he wanted to return back, but with the current condition, he is not really sure whether he can return for good.

But at least he got some time to see you again. Which is good.

91snowball : hi, blue, hope you have a great day today too! :) [16:07]

91snowball : we’re going to meet tomorrow. The christmas event, remember? [16:07]

blueberry_25 : I nearly forgot! So hectic today since that finance guy resigned and caused such chaos again. Thanks for the reminder though lol [16:08]

Jungkook literally winces, as you haven’t stopped complaining about the sudden resignation of the finance guy that is literally him regarding your overwhelming work caused by a certain prematurely resigning self-centered jerk. Even one time he mistakenly apologized for it. Nevertheless, it was all fun and games before he thought about how to break it up to you. That he is a snowball, the person you’ve been chatting with anonymously for months, and nearly everyday now. Talking to you were the highlights of his days, and he couldn’t stop. Even for a day.

And he is in the dark on how to break the truth to you. 

The soft chimes of his phone takes him away from the busy thoughts. Jungkook looks down and finds another message from you. The heartfelt smile instinctively appears on his lips.

blueberry_25 : did you get me anything? ;) Can I set my expectations high? [16:10]

91snowball : haha hope so. See you tomorrow, okay? [16:10]

The announcement for passengers to onboard is heard, so Jungkook raises from his seat to join the queue. An anonymous feeling shot through his chest, a heartfelt smile formed on his lips. He is going back. Finally. He finally is going to see you again and it feels terribly unreal. 

Right when another message arrives, and at once the corners of his mouth instantly flattens.

Mom : Son,don’t forget. I’ll pick you up next week. [16:12]

*

“Bye, Y/N, Hoseok!” 

Another person from your team has escaped the dreaded office, yet you and Hoseok are still not showing any sign of moving from your respective places. There are still a few action items on your list that need to be checked off by the night if you want to have a peaceful weekend, and you are determined to have them finished asap.

Because you are going to meet Snowball tomorrow. And you’re going to spend your whole weekend with him too.

“Y/N, why are you not going home?” Hoseok asks in worry while glancing at your screen. “This report needs to be submitted on Monday. You can finish it tomorrow.”

“But tomorrow we are having that Christmas event. I want to finish this before then.” You answer nonchalantly, still typing agilely on your keyboard. Seeing how befuddled Hoseok looks, you roll your eyes. “That pen pal secret santa event. Remember?”

Hoseok instantly turns silent at the mention of the event. God, how could he forget? Tomorrow the office’s Christmas party will be held, along with the first meeting of the anonymous pen pal buddies. Jimin and his team have everything planned out, in which the pair would give a gift inside a box which includes a card to describe and help find who is their pen pal.

It was indeed a brilliant idea. But maybe not to the fact that Jungkook is literally your pen pal, and the fact that you are unaware of how close he has been even after he left.

It doesn’t even need an exquisite skill to guess that something happened with Jungkook and you, especially discernible after he left. You turn greatly silent, and he found you zooming out more than you’d like to admit, and you’re shine dimmed. It was incredibly saddening for nearly everyone, but it’s not for long since you found someone to take your minds off things—who turns out to be your pen pal, or ironically, Jungkook.

And Hoseok has multiple times warned Jungkook that it’s not going to work. You would be furious to find out—who would adore the fact that someone is indeed lying?

“So… your partner will be coming?” Hoseok hesitatingly asks, looking down his lap. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. I know he’ll be coming.” You shift your gaze to Hoseok and beam. “He’ll give me a present and I’ll finally meet him.”

Hoseok nods, but something urges him to continue. “But… what if he won’t come?”

Your eyebrows scrunched. “What do you mean?”

He clears his throat. “Maybe? You know, he might have something to do tomorrow, urgently. Or maybe he is not that invested in this like you are? Because let’s be real here, Y/N, you are too deep into this.”

You send a thriving punch to his shoulder that Hoseok immediately winces and. “What is that for?!”

“For being such a source of negativity. Seriously, Hoseok, you used to be sooo positive. Stop hanging out too much with Yoongi.”

“I’m not kidding, Y/N.” Hoseok sternly gazes at you. “Don’t put your hopes too high. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

You smile at him, not even an ounce of doubt seen on your face. “Snowball won’t disappoint me, Hoseok. He’s not like Jungkook.”

At such ironic statements, Hoseok immediately turns speechless—something inside him literally withers. God, how he wishes he could cease you from hurting...

*

It’s already eight pm, and Jungkook is still settling inside his car in front of the building where the Christmas Event is held. His right hand is tapping lightly on the wheel, inside his left grasp is a midnight green colored box in which is the present he prepared for you.

The event will be starting soon, but he’s still waiting for a cue from Yoongi—the only person who knew about his arrival in Korea—when he should be entering. Attract attention is the last he would want, especially when too many people or the bosses are around, as he is obviously not invited now that he has resigned.

Yet needless to say, it is not the main issue concerning his mind. He couldn’t even care less if he is going to be kicked out of the event, as long as he can see you and be with you again. But how can he hope so? All kinds of scenarios are running through his mind about how you would react to him being Snowball, your anonymous pen pal in which you have told him about nearly everything. And it's foolish to even think that you would be fine about him catfishing you—hopefully it’s not the correct term for that.

At first, it was just a mere idea during work, Jimin was joking about how he would make you as his anonymous pen pal after he was informed of a small piece about your past with Jungkook. And Jungkook was not going to think about it more, but he was desperate. He wanted to talk to you again without any resentment—but it could probably be the least thing you want to do in this lifetime, so he begged Jimin to arrange it for him. Even if it was merely anonymous.

But now it could probably be the best yet the worst thing that he had done to you. You are the thing that keeps him sane after being locked again in his hometown, but he is now gambling with the relationship you both have. He is literally lying to you again—just like the worst fight happened in front of your house porch. God, everything is literally a mess.

Suddenly, the sound of an incoming call disrupts his trainwreck thoughts. Min Yoongi.

“Jungkook, the event will be conducted in half an hour, you need to submit your present. The bosses are gone. Come.” Yoongi calmly informs, conflicting to the thoughts on Jungkook’s mind. The fear and insecurity instantly strikes him.

“I don’t know whether I should do this, I mean—”

“Look at your chat.”

Yoongi has an authority tone on his voice that Jungkook immediately obeys, opening his chat. Yoongi has sent a picture of you, lively talking with your friends. You look exquisite, wearing a red ball gown dress that falls on your knee, the blush is apparent on your cheek. You simply look.. stunning.

“She has waited and prepared all this shit because she believed her idiot, fucking selfish so-called pen pal is here. Seriously, you’re not doing any good by pretending again. Just come, Jungkook.”

At once, it was like a knock to his heart at how selfish and undeserving he is to you. It’s okay if you’re angry, he’ll grovel at your feet. And if you don’t want to see him again? Well, he just needs to wait again. He waited for five years to see you again—what is another waiting, right?

Heaving a deep breath, Jungkook finally steps out of his car. He cannot lie that he is excessively frightened, the image of you crying and pushing him away is vivid and it stings. But he promised you he’ll be back before the year ends, and he’ll live up to that promise.

Walking out of the lift, the first person he sees is Jimin, sitting behind the front table from the ballroom. He is now receiving gifts from various people, which Jungkook assumes must be for the pen pal event. He walks closer, until Jimin can finally see him, and somehow, upon meeting your face, he literally falls a few steps back, face bleached like he just saw a ghost.

“J-jungkook?”

Jungkook smiles and rests the gift on the table. “Hi, Jimin. This is my gift for her.”

“B-b-but how—why? How can you’re here? I thought—I thought you’re moving and—”

“Yes. But I’m here now.” Jungkook thinly smiles. “May I know what I should do next?”

“Y-yes. So, the pair will be divided into two rooms, and when we cue, we will let you find each other, with the stuff and card inside the gift.” The panic is still evident on his face, but Jungkook just shrugs it away. Jimin can be overreacting at times.

“May I enter my room now?”

Jimin instantly nods as an answer, and points to the room on his right. “You can enter the room on the right. But Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares at Jimin, waiting for the continuation. “Good luck there. And I’m sorry.” He clears his throat, and points to the room. “You go now.”

Jungkook doesn’t even know if that’s really something for Jimin to be sorry about, but he literally couldn’t care less when he’s just minutes away from meeting you. “Thanks.”

Inside the room, there are a few people who are high chance waiting for the pen pal committee as well. The moment he enters, he can see a few confused eyes staring at him, but the moment he finds Namjoon, he can finally breathe. Namjoon is not too different though, staring at him with weirded out eyes.

“Jungkook, you’re here?” He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes. “Am I drinking too much champagne or are you really here?”

“I am.” He chuckles. “I came back to fulfill a promise, I guess.”

“Y/N? Because she’s your pen pal, right?” Jungkook nods slowly. “God, do you know there’s a very high chance that she’ll kick your ass for all this bamboozling shit?”

“Affirmatively.” Jungkook grins, yet his fingers are nervously fidgeting, a habit he inhibited since a month ago. “But, I just… I am trying, you know?”

Namjoon nods and taps on Jungkook’s back to relay comfort. “She loves you too. Even if she’s furious, she’ll come around.” Jungkook can only hope so.

At that time, the committees enter with a trolly of boxes that must be the pen pal gift. One of them hands Namjoon and Jungkook’s respective gifts. “You can start finding your pen pal now.”

Jungkook looks down on the blue box on his grasp, and he flinches with palms turning clammy from cold sweat, heartbeat too fast he could even hear it with his ear. Step by step, he enters the other room. Scanning the room, his sight instantly falls to you, smiling while looking down to the familiar box on your grasp. Your wavy hair settles perfectly on your shoulder, a serene smile formed on your lips.

‘I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy? I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt.’

Just when he is about to take another step closer to you, the remembrance of that night hits him straight in the gut. He is hurting you. Again. And you’ll leave. You’ll never want to see him again.

The weight on his shoulders triple at the petrifying scenario running through his mind, and Jungkook instinctively takes a step back and runs outside the room. No, he can’t do this. He is too scared. He thought he is ready to take every chance, but it turns out not much has changed, because he’s still the coward he was nearly five years ago.

Jungkook walks to the hotel balcony, heaving several deep breaths. The sky is exceptionally beautiful, the full moon is wandering in the sky and it invokes a memory within his mind.

About the night you cried in front of him for the first time.

“Are you afraid?” Jungkook whispered that night, gazing down at you. The loud blazing sound of bass was faintly heard, but both of you are sitting near the gate, looking out to the sky. You stare at him and shift back your empty gaze to the full moon. You despise that no matter how strenuous you tried to suppress the pain, it kept on rising back and numbs all your feelings.

“I am not afraid of you.” You weakly replied, the exhaustion vivid on your tone.

“I know.” Jungkook followed your gaze. “Are you afraid you’ll cry in front of me?”

You gazed at him, eyes filled with sadness and animosity. “What?”

“It’s literally a party inside. And you’ve been looking like you’re in a freaking funeral—well, beside the drinking part.” You were surprised with how susceptible he was. The day had indeed been counted as one of the worst days of your life, and it’s not even over yet. And you were fucking tired of crying, hence you decided to numb everything and wasted all your energy to alcohol instead. So at least you won’t remember again.

“Just cry.” He tranquilly whispers, his palm settles on the side of your face. “Those tears—I’ll catch them for you.”

And you just did.

Looking down to his lap, he is looking at the box on his grasp from you. Huffing a deep breath, he moves to open the box with not much thoughts—yet his mind abruptly turns blank after seeing the items resting in the box. 

What… are these?

“Are you afraid?”

Turning on his heel, Jungkook’s strained gaze fell on the eyes he thought would never see this up close again. It’s you. You are literally just a distance away in front of him right now, that he might need to pinch himself to ensure everything is not a piece of his hallucination. 

“What?” 

“Because you look like you’re about to cry.” You whisper calmly, arms folded on your chest. “Are you that afraid to meet me again?”

Jungkook is now staring at you, face conflicted. He is at haze on everything that just unfolded. “How did you—how did you know?”

“You think I won’t find out that you’re snowball?” You took a step closer, glancing at the items on the box. A basketball keychain and a frame of photo taken five years ago, the two of you side by side with a shy smile on both your faces. It was something he never thought would receive from his pen pal, even in his wildest dream.

“You think I won’t recognize you?”

Jungkook stutters. “What do you—”

“I know everything.” You cut him right away, face still expressionless. “I know it. You are snowball, I know you bribed Jimin into arranging, I know you are hiding by talking to me anonymously with snowball as an identity—everything. I know it’s you who I’m talking to these past seven weeks.”

A good five minutes passed before Jungkook could even let out a sound, let alone a coherent statement. 

“Are you… angry at me?”

“Yes.” You respond, not even missing a hint of hesitation in your tone. The physical pain is even more evident now. “I hate you. I hate you for fabricating lies about us. When I found out for the first time that it was you, I was furious. I felt played, like an idiot. I told you, I hate when someone lies to me. Do you remember?”

“I know.”

Another minutes spent staring each other, then you sigh in tiredness. “But more than anything, I missed you.” You continue, your tone falters as your eyes are far away, the sudden weakness stirs something inside his chest. “I miss you like crazy, and I took it. I took the lies, if it means I can talk to you again. Like an idiot, I didn’t think straight.”

Jungkook stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “I know I decided not to wait for you, but it was foolish. Waiting for you—that’s not an option I could make. And no matter how much I decided I need to stop thinking about you, I can’t. I am an idiot, who—”

At once, Jungkook is now hugging you close, not even a breath between the two of you. The feelings are familiar, yet so strange since the butterflies are knocking your stomach with nerves now. Jungkook is here. He is finally here, hugging you close. It’s literally the dream you’ve been having for a while now.

“I came back.”

You hum.

“For you. For the promise I made us.”

You hum.

“I am sorry. For everything. I shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have bribed Jimin.”

You hum.

Jungkook lets you go, anxious at the possibility of you lying and suppress all your feelings just for the sake of him. “Can you say something? Anything. Please be mad at me, or anything, because you have the rights to. But please don’t be silent, I beg you.”

“I love you.”

Those three words are most absolutely not the word he is expecting. He confusedly searches your eyes. “If you said I can say anything, I want to say that for the first time. I love you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you, still in disbelief of the possibility of his hearing deceiving him. “What?”

“I love you. And I want to fight for us.” You whisper, squeezing his palm against yours. “ I am sorry too. I let my emotion and fear take over, and I hurt you. I am in this just like you are, so don’t blame yourself alone, hmm?”

“I love you too.” Jungkook responds, as he pulls you close by the nape, crashing his lips on yours and taking your breath away. “I love you more than anything. I love you more than anyone. I am sorry, I am very sorry.”

You hold him closer by the waist, minutes passed just to feel how warm he is against you, the familiar scent seeps inside your brain that disoriented your whole being. As he lightly bites your lower lips and instinctively forces a moan out of you,  you shivers. Jungkook swiftly takes the chance to push through and leaves a beautiful taste on your tongue. Your fingers run through his hair, feeling the soft hair falls between your fingers. Giving it a light tug, you are more than satisfied to find Jungkook is just as affected as you by the way he bemoans.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jungkook creakily whispers, not even hiding the lust and desire lacing his tone and not even a second thought is spent, you nod. You are desperate to have him again like the way it was before, to leave nothing between the two of you, to feel him close and beg for him to take you again, pleasuring you like no one could. 

“By the way, you look beautiful tonight.” He smiles, squeezing your waist with his palm. “You always do, but maybe the fact that I haven’t seen you for seven weeks, now that you are wearing this beautiful dress—It’s just.. breathtaking.”

You roll your eyes, but are unable to suppress the beam on your lips. “You better keep that mindset, okay? Don’t you fucking dare say I look better naked later.”

Jungkook grins at that. “You know what? You just get me.”

“You know, I need to tell you this, but… I actually threatened Jimin to confirm that you are indeed snowball. And I have to say that it wasn’t pretty, and I wasn’t proud of it. We haven’t really been talking with each other after that..”

“What?!” Jungkook literally shouts, the imagination of you threatening Jimin with a knife forms on his head. No wonder he looks like a ghost after seeing him attend the event. “What did you do to the poor guy?!”

“Well, I may or may not… have caught him getting a blowjob from his teammate in the office one time.. And yup, you know the rest.” You wince, and hold out your palm together. “I swear, I have no intention to let anyone know, it was just a self defense method—”

“You just told me, you know.”

You pout, tugging on his blazer. “But you’re my Jungkook! It’s different.”

Jungkook sighs, but it’s foolish to lie that the possession terms you used before his name literally sends him into a blushing mess. He is unable to resist to steal a kiss from you once again. The moment your lips touching, you are left speechless—and wanting more that you still chase for his lips even after he pulls himself. You frown, folding your arms in indignation that you caught him grinning after. “Looks like someone is missing me too much, huh?”

“I hate you.” You obnoxiously spit.

“No, you love me.” 

“Yes, but I’m starting to regret it now.” 

Jungkook giggles, caressing the side of your pouty face. God, how is it possible to be luring and cute at the same time? Being with you is all kinds of emotions lured into one, and it left him wanting for more and more.

“I feel like I didn’t say this enough, but I love you, Y/N. I really, really do.” Jungkook whispers, as his finger pushes strands of hair to behind your ear, and you give him a smile which brightens his whole world. The moment he looks at you like this, he know he is sold. You’re his only sole chance, nothing and no one else.

“We’ll fight for each other, right?” Jungkook whispers and you stare at him back with a smile, and unlike before, this time you reply with a determined nod. One thing you know is that you’ll do anything to make the best out of each other—you’ll finally fight for what you feel instead of following your fear. Because you love Jungkook, and he feels the same way.

Oh, how he would trade everything to have this moment last forever...

===========================

I should have write this better lol was too distracted with life and kim soo hyun that its 🅱razy. I wish I have will to edit this too, tho

If you wonder if there’s an epilogue, there is! kindly follow me and slide into my ask box! stay safe, all!  💜💌

UPDATE : Find the Epilogue HERE !

Love, Rekindled. (Epilogue)

summary : love is not over. or maybe it is?

{ex!au, wedding!au, breakup!au}

genre : angst, fluff

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader x kim taehyung (and ?)

word count : 2.5k

read the prequel one shot here Love, Rekindled.

TW : major plottwist LOL

=================================

5 Years Later…

“You look beautiful, honey. I can’t believe this...”

You glance at your crying mother, then back at the reflection of yourself on the mirror in front of you. You are not really one to be confident in your own skin, but you do agree—you look exquisite in the broken white ball gown wedding dress you are wearing right now, the same-colored veil is clipped on the top of your head. Your makeup is superb, the apple of your cheek is rosy, lips softly bold. The constant diet and exercise you have endured for this day only are paying off as well, the curve of your dress looks amazing. In your grasp are beautiful warm pink peonies as a wedding bouquet.

“Let’s go, Y/N.” Your wedding planner has signaled you that the processing will start at your arrival. You heave a deep breath.

“Let me do that for you, Y/N.” Namjoon swiftly walks to your side, helping you to settle the veil to the back of your head. You softly smile at your bridesmaid, slightly nodding. You are still swooning over the fact that Namjoon is wearing a lilac colored suit to match with your theme—it understandably looks good on him.

Your mother quickly takes you by the arm, as she will be the one walking you down the aisle. She takes multiple breaths, and you understand how nervous she must be right now—but you seriously can’t imagine anyone walking you other than her. Your mother’s constant support and resilience is what have led you up to this point, it just had to be her.

Walking down to the church, you count every step along with your raucous heartbeat. This is it. You are marrying the love of your life. In a few minutes, you will be sworn to marriage with someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

And truth to be told, you can’t be more terrified.

They said it’s normal. To have that prewed jitters, to be nervous, to be spooked and all they said before.

But it’s different. Not when he is here.

You look to your mother, as she squeezes your hand on her grasp with a comforting smile. “Let’s get you married, sweetie.”

Then the doors are opened. Everyone is looking back in your direction, every eye is staring at you. The focus. The beautiful blushing bride.

And for a second, you let the illusion invade your mind. Yes, you are indeed beautiful. Yes, you are marrying the love of your life now. Yes, you are happy.

Yes, you won’t regret it.

And even among all those prodding eyes, your sight falls to a pair of familiar doe eyes, looking at you with a thin smile. Then at once, it feels like the air is squeezed out of your body, and your chest constricts in pain.

It hurts.

And at once, the remembrance of what happened a few years ago rewinds on your head like a broken old tape.

“Why are you doing this to me?!”

“What are you saying—”

“You lied to me, Y/N. You lied to me! You’re with him right now, aren’t you?!”

“I am not with him. I’m at home, alone.”

“Why should I fucking trust you?! Tell me, you still love him, aren’t you?!”

You tried. You tried everything you could. You endured the pain of long distance with Jungkook, since his father had fallen sick and needed him near. And you understood it better than anyone—the helplessness when you really had no choice but to surrender at what happened. So when Jungkook had to leave the next week after that eventful christmas party, you decided to let go of your fear and try building something with him. Because you loved him, and you trusted him more than anything and anyone.

But apparently, you learned the hard way that trust is built on mutual respect—since it was not the same for Jungkook.

After Junsu—your teammate that has been caught in a fraud alleged case resigned, there was some shuffling conducted and Taehyung was reassigned back as a manager in your team. And you couldn’t lie, it was good to have Taehyung near again. He was the soulmate, the best friend for life, everything you wished him to be. And probably, the bond you had with him was what made Jungkook change into someone you didn’t know anymore. He turns into someone insecure, doubtful, and yet the worst thing was he became distrustful to you.

And at the beginning, you could understand what he felt. Yet as it progressed day by day, you understood that maybe you were right. You couldn’t water a dead flower. And the flower you planted with him was dead the day he doubted everything—including your love and loyalty.

After you broke up, you took some time to yourself. It would be a definite lie that it did not hurt you even a bit, because you were frustrated beyond words. There were times you even regret things, yet when the memory of Jungkook shouting in the call for you to ensure you were not with Taehyung, it stopped your every movement. You loved him, so you let him go. There was no way it could end happily—both of you are wearing each other off.

Then Taehyung came. As a stricly best friend. And as easy as one two three, you fell for him harder this time. Deeper and deeper by days.

So when your steps are closing to Jungkook’s side of the crowd, you let out a few sighs and hold your head high. You don’t want to look back at him—at your past, or you’ll cry. Or you’ll start rethinking everything again. You’ll ruin everything again. And that’s the last thing you want to.

Then, your eyes fell at the man standing at the altar, gazing at you softly with the beautiful, boxy smile that lights your whole world. He was standing beside his best men, Seokjin, Yoongi and Jimin, meanwhile on the other side is Namjoon and Hoseok as your bridesmaid—and you seriously couldn’t think of a better people standing on those altar.

Seeing Taehyung smiling at you that charmingly, you wouldn't believe that it’s him you’re finally marrying—but you’re more than ecstatic that you are. Taehyung is literally another you, a soulmate, a part of you that you could never let go. He is the one that is relentlessly standing by your side. Taking care of you, prioritizing you in the way no one could—and that’s all what you wanted from him.

And what happened an hour ago is the turning point. You made numerous mistakes, yet marrying him is not even on the curve. It’s the best thing that will ever happen to you.

Sitting in front of the mirror, you stared at the bland reflection staring back at you. You can’t even picture how horrifying it must be to be her right now, wearing a breath-taking wedding dress yet is not met with a smile, even a bit.

‘Jungkook is outside.’ An anonymous voice whispers inside your head. Yet you quickly shut your eyes and shook your head—desperate to have the words erased.

“Jungkook is outside.”

The voice is real.

You turn in shock, finding a lone Taehyung standing at the door. He is already wearing the black suit with distinctive boutonnière, oak brown hair styled beautifully that shows his beautiful forehead. He looks dashing, yet the smile he wears is almost sad—and it kills you to be the one causing it to him.

“What?”

“It’s him, Y/N. He’s outside.” Taehyung whispers, voice croaked. “He’s outside if.. If you want to—”

“To what?” You stared at Taehyung with a distant tone, yet he avoided your eyes.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“Tell me. I want what?”

Taehyung is no longer timid, his eyes are staring at yours, the sadness is immeasurable. You can sense frustration and deep emotion radiating off him, and it saddened you to have him feel this way. But you got no other way.

“I’m giving you the last chance.” Taehyung whispers, the vehemence is overwhelming. “The last chance to change your mind. I’ll kindly accept everything you want to do. I will hate you—of course I will, but I won’t hold you back. I don’t want you to regret me—to regret us.”

You are still silent, gaze immobile. “I want you to go down this road with me wholeheartedly, Y/N. I want you to love me, and only me. I want to be your one, for life. So if there’s even a small, selfish want inside you to be with him, let me know. And I’ll try accepting it.”

Your breaths are slowing, you took a step closer to him. A tear has already escaped his eyes—and it is the second time you saw it after the break up years ago. Yet the only thing inside your head is to make it go away.

“I’m sorry.”

Taehyung’s legs are close to giving in, the thought of you running away and leaving him behind—before you capture him inside your hold. “I’m sorry if you had to feel this way. I’m sorry that I closed my eyes and made you feel insecure about my past.”

“But I swear to you, Taehyung. I love you. I will keep on loving you until forever. What we had—I won’t trade it for anything.” You whisper softly, eyes gazing at him in reassurance. “That chapter, it was over. It was beautiful, yet I let go. I’m looking forward to my future with you now, so don’t give up on me yet. Or ever. Can you promise me that?”

And at that point, the both of you are already crying. Taehyung holds you close, then moves his hand to capture you by the nape and pulls you closer to his lips. It is a slow, innocent kiss, yet it is literally the most tasteful kiss you ever shared with him. A wonderful feeling just to have him close, and to finally end everything inside of you that remotely expected something else. You already closed everything. Every little thing.

“You know, it was supposed to be bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.” Taehyung jokes, as he kisses you again, his fingers fixing your hair. You roll your eyes.

“It is. Probably because the groom just couldn’t get his hand off the bride and ruin the makeup and the beautiful dress.” You irk playfully, and Taehyung giggles. He looks glowing now, perfectly happy like you expect him to. And you wouldn’t trade this feeling and his happiness for anything—you wish you could remember this everyday.

“You know what could be perfect? For me to fuck you in this dress.” Taehyung whispers in your ear, and you instantly punch him in the chest which sends him to a coughing fit until he falls a few steps back.

“Baby, can we save this hulk power of yours for the wedding night instead of hurting your groom on the wedding day?”

“You wish. If you keep on doing this, I swear I’ll get you erected like never before and leave you hanging, just like that.” You threaten, and Taehyung quickly retreats in obvious fear. You giggle at him.

Another seconds just staring at each other, Taehyung clears his throat and walks himself to the door. You are unable to take your eyes off him, the warmth seeping inside of your chest.

“See you on the altar?”

“See you on the altar.”

*

Jungkook stares at his drink.

Yet he couldn’t stop thinking about your beautiful smile.

Jungkook turns to the people dancing on the dance floor.

Yet he couldn’t stop thinking about how breathtaking you looked.

Jungkook stares at the couples kissing on the booth.

Yet he couldn’t stop thinking about how radiant you looked kissing your groom at the altar.

Why can’t it be him? Why can’t it be him kissing you on that altar? Why can’t he be the one making you happy?

He was certain. He was certain that it’s you. It’s only you that can make him feel complete. You are his one. You are the only chance.

Yet you’re now with someone else. Which is now completely his fault.

“Dude, you’re okay?” Yoongi peers at the younger man in concern as Jungkook swiftly pushes the liquid down the throat. “Jungkook. Answer me.”

Jungkook coldly stares at him, pushing him away in annoyance. “Of course I’m not fucking okay, Yoongi. Someone I love is married. What do you expect me to? Give a toast at their wedding? Dancing along with the Conga line? Lying to the bride saying I’m happy for you when I’m clearly not?!”

Jungkook is aggrieved beyond words, Yoongi can clearly see it. But there is no other way for him then to accept that fact—you are married with someone else that is not him.

“I should have fought more for her. I should have understood. I should have been more lenient.” Jungkook weakly whispers more to himself, grimacing at the taste after another shot went down his throat. “But you know what is ironic?”

Yoongi waits silently until Jungkook continues. “That it probably didn’t matter whether I fought for her or not—she is meant to be with Taehyung.” The pain is unbearable now, his palms are clenching his constricting chest. The physical pain is evident now for him.

“I hate this terribly, Yoongi. I hate the fact that I should be hating her—I should be. But when I was at her door before the wedding, and I heard what they were talking about, I couldn’t bear to…”

“What were you doing at her door?”

Another shot before he continues between sobs. “I wanted to see her again, I was desperate and I missed her, but he was there, and I listened. He gave her a chance to be with me again. Taehyung did it, yet she refused.”

“He gave him the chance, but she said no. Even if I stubbornly charge into her and ask her to leave with me, here is no way her heart could be mine like it was before. Everything has changed, and I need to accept it.”

Ten minutes of silence before Jungkook continues. “But you know what the most pathetic thing? The two second she hesitated—that’s what consoled me. The two seconds she was thinking about running away with me, that kept me going on.” Yoongi stares at Jungkook in disbelief. “That kept me from denying that what I had with her is that discernible. That made me think—that what we had probably meant that much to her too. Even if I could only hope it to be true.”

“You know it’s true.” Yoongi mutters slowly while still staring at Jungkook. Yoongi shifts his saddened stare trained to the bar before blinking his eyes, letting the tears fall on it’s own. Jungkook’s feelings—Yoongi might understand it better than anyone else. “She loved you, Jungkook.”

“Loved.” The grieving grin formed on his lips. Like the word couldn’t wound him more.

“I hope you can find someone else, Jungkook.” Yoongi continues, the sadness in his chest is too overwhelming now. The words are already at his tongue, but how can he say it when Jungkook’s clearly struggling with his own?

“I hope you can find someone to appreciate you, and will go through everything with you, and will love you better than anyone ever has.”

Like I can.

“Yeah, like if.” Jungkook snorts. Love again? This one is painful enough he probably had enough of love. It was not meant to be his, he was sure of it. “Fuck love. I had enough. You, me, drinking, okay?” Jungkook smiles as he pour another drink to the older man’s glass.

Yoongi shifts down, biting his lips.

It’s okay, Jungkook. I’ll wait. Patiently.

=====================================

LOL I DON’T KNOW WHY WRITING PLOT TWIST ALWAYS INTEREST ME hahaha i wrote this all in one sitting so i hope its interesting haha

thank you all for reading! I hope you like it, and do slide into my ask box to let me know what you think about my fics! Love yall and stay safe! 💜💜

Hi all! Please find the EPILOGUE of Love, Rekindled here ! 💜 Thank you all for reading, see you all soon in my next au! ✨

Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : 32.780 (one-shot)

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol enjoy! 

=====================================

Working directly after you graduate in one of the biggest fast moving consumer goods companies in the country might be the dream. While to an extent it might be true, you realize that you have so many things to sacrifice—including your sanity and personal life.

So one dawn you spent all night working on the procurement report you have to submit to the finance team in just five hours, you are so distressed you bawl your eyes out so hard you feel like it is about to fall off. You were too loud to the point that Namjoon, your roommate, was awakened and had to console and accompany you, finishing the report for another hour until you could finally sleep.

And the next morning when you wake up after only three hours of sleep, you have to drive early in the morning to submit the signed reports to the finance team. You are not ecstatic to say the least. Not only that you had the worst night and don’t have the time to conceal your excessive eye bags, you have to submit the physical report to the most notorious, annoying person to ever exist—Jeon Jungkook.

Keep reading

600 notes!!! Thank you allll soooo thankful 🥺🥺

Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : 32.780 (one-shot)

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol enjoy! 

=====================================

Working directly after you graduate in one of the biggest fast moving consumer goods companies in the country might be the dream. While to an extent it might be true, you realize that you have so many things to sacrifice—including your sanity and personal life.

So one dawn you spent all night working on the procurement report you have to submit to the finance team in just five hours, you are so distressed you bawl your eyes out so hard you feel like it is about to fall off. You were too loud to the point that Namjoon, your roommate, was awakened and had to console and accompany you, finishing the report for another hour until you could finally sleep.

And the next morning when you wake up after only three hours of sleep, you have to drive early in the morning to submit the signed reports to the finance team. You are not ecstatic to say the least. Not only that you had the worst night and don’t have the time to conceal your excessive eye bags, you have to submit the physical report to the most notorious, annoying person to ever exist—Jeon Jungkook.

Keep reading

the habits of a broken heart.

☾ genre : soulmates au, unrequited love, art student!JK, english student!Y/N, angst, fluff, subtle enemies to lovers

☾ pairing : jeon jungkook x reader

☾ summary : jungkook and you are soulmates. so says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. however, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak. 

alternatively,

“You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.”

☾ word count: 26.3k (my biggest one yet!)

☾ author’s note: this took forever oh my gosh! i really hope you like it! it’s my first time writing such a big single piece, and trying a different style. thank you so much for your support, always! please let me know what you think ♡

Keep reading

stranger than fiction (1)

→ 📖 pairing: assistant!jimin x novelist!reader

→ ☕ genre: enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut

→ 🚬 word count: 3k

→ 🍝 summary: you are a reclusive author who wants nothing more than to be left alone so you can write at your own pace. jimin is the youngest executive assistant at Lucky Coin Publishers, and he’s never once been intimidated by a writer or their current project. that is, until he’s assigned to help you complete your latest novel. and you aren’t pleased about it.

→ 🍷 content warnings: profanity, smoking, jimin is very determined, reader is very grumpy, sexual tension.

→ 🖊 a/n: loosely based on a relationship from the movie stranger than fiction and also the tv show black books. thanks for reading :) 

series masterlist → next chapter

chapter 1: satan smoking a cigarette

Jimin has worked with many, many authors, but none of them have ever been this elusive.

The publishing executives said you would be a difficult case, that you were a bit of an eccentric. In fact, when Jimin asked one of his supervisors about you and your...colorful reputation at the publishing house, all he had to say on the matter was “that woman is Satan smoking a cigarette.”

Jimin had been told that he was the sixth person to be assigned to you. No one knew why, but apparently you had a vendetta against anyone connected to Lucky Coin Publishers. A category which Jimin unfortunately fell under. 

But, being the perfectionist that he was, and never one to back down from a challenge, Jimin accepted the seemingly impossible task. A task that no one else from the company has accomplished so far: getting you to finish your latest novel by the end of the year. 

Jimin tried calling 42 times over the course of three days. You had no personal number, even though it was the year 2002 and most people with your level of notoriety and fame owned a cell phone by now, or at least a pager.

The publishers were beginning to get anxious, considering the fact that you hadn’t given them anything to work with in over three months. Not one draft, not one page, not even a clipping of meaningful prose. And, considering the book’s set release date, this was quite the problem. 

So, here he was, asking around the quaint yet utterly reclusive community of Hidden Village. The name being as ironic as its residents. For it was a town of starving artists, retired creatives, and obscure literary celebrities who were fiercely protective of their anonymity. It was a place for strange, solitary people to live in peace and blissful privacy.

Something Jimin was about to disrupt.

He’d traced your location as far as your apartment number, given that the publishers were so antsy and had given him clearance to be a little invasive, but no one had answered the buzzer.

Now, if Jimin was any less determined, any less qualified given his history, he might’ve given up after the first few failed attempts. But, of course, he was Park Jimin, the youngest executive assistant in the company’s history. And he wasn’t about to let that title slip away.

So he walked the cobblestoned streets in the fading afternoon sun, searching the street signs for Red Herring Road.

When no one answered the buzzer, Jimin tried a few of the neighbors. One of them was a grumpy-sounding man who told him check the cafe a few blocks away, or the museum, or the bar, or the bookshop. But Jimin figured he’d try the cafe first.

He found it after just a few minutes of walking. An ivy-draped awning in the narrow street, shading a few little tables and chairs. A teapot-shaped sign over the door read:

Jam & Bread: coffee, sandwiches, pastries.

This must be the place, Jimin reassures himself, straightening his sleeves and perfecting the curve of his hair.

As he approaches, he sees that there’s only one person inhabiting the small cafe.

A woman, sitting outside, hunched over the crowded tabletop. 

None of your books have an “About the Author” section, let alone a picture of your face on the back cover. But he recognizes you still, from that one interaction four years ago. 

You’re dressed in heavily oversized, layered clothing. A sweater here, a scarf there, a wool coat hanging off the back of your chair.

It’s a bright yet chilly afternoon, so you’re dressed warmly with a pair of sunglasses on your nose.

A sea of papers is spread out in front of you. Open books, notepads, a few loose leafs, and sticky notes scattered all throughout. And to your right: a foamy latte in a large mug with a fluffy chocolate croissant.

Jimin prepares himself for the interaction to come. Because, from the looks of it, you clearly don’t want to be disturbed.

But Jimin knows that if he wanted to succeed, he’s going to have to do just that.

You’ve decided, over the course of several run-ins with your editor, that semicolons are bastards that have no place in any of your works. You make a note to exclude them from all future manuscripts.

This particular novel has proven to be more difficult to complete than all the others, you’ll admit that much. Maybe it’s because your most recently published book catapulted into unexpected (and probably undeserved) fame, meaning that the next thing you put out has to be even better or you’ll be a disappointment to everyone.

Now, you’ve never been one to easily cope with high expectations, or anyone expecting anything good out of you at all, so this newfound situation was especially overwhelming.

This book has loomed over your head like a storm cloud, like a deep depression, threatening to destroy your mental state at the drop of a hat.

Then, just as you’re getting into a groove, another damned interruption.

This time, it’s a young man in black dress shoes. The obnoxious squeak from the overly-polished leather is the first thing that grabs your attention.

You look up from the page you’re currently annotating, barely bothering to disguise your irritated expression.

He’s standing there in a tailored green coat that molds to his shoulders and thin waist. Then there’s the rings on his fingers and the ridiculous perfection of his hair: dyed blonde and styled up out of his face.

He’s beautiful, tantalizing. It's slightly infuriating.

“Excuse me,” he begins in a voice much lighter and silkier than you expected. “Are you Miss Nin?”

Nin, it was the pen name you’d chosen so many years ago. From Anaïs Nin, the author famous for her diaries and erotica. Even now, most people you know refer to you by that name. It makes life a little easier, living life through someone else’s name.

You survey the young man, trying to determine what exactly he wants. Nothing good, no doubt.

“No, she lives down the street,” you say, testing the waters. “Just around the corner, you can’t miss it.”

You say it with a pleasant smile, hoping he’ll take the bait. Because once he turns the street corner, you can escape through the alleyway and make it back to your apartment.

But the young man scans you up and down, calculating. After a few moments, he gives you a sly smile.

Authors are such bad liars, he thinks to himself. They spend so much time thinking up fiction in their works that there’s none left for their real lives.

And, of course, he already knows well who you are.

“No, I think you’re sitting right here, Miss Nin.”

Your genial expression drops in an instant. So that’s how it’s going to be.

You look at him over the rim of your sunglasses.

“And you are?” you say, clearly not amused.

Something very small in Jimin’s mind deflates. You don’t remember him.

But he shakes it off in an instant, slipping back into his professional persona.

“Park Jimin, pleased to meet you,” he answers cheerfully, holding out his hand to shake.

You glance at it once.

“A horrible judge of character on your part,” you reply dryly.

“I’m the assistant your publishers hired,” Jimin says, still friendly as ever.

“Oh, the spy,” you spit, beginning to gather your things.

“The assistant,” he corrects gently.

“I don’t need an assistant.”

You snatch all the stray papers and shove them in your tote bag, along with the three books, two journals, three notepads, and the six loose pens that were strewn about.

“I provide a number of services, whatever you need to—”

“Oh, such as watching me like a vulture and nagging me every time I get distracted, those kinds of services?”

By now, you’ve gathered all your belongings and have moved on to donning your scarf and coat.

Jimin watches you curiously. There’s a strange quality about you, the same one he saw when the two of you met the first time. 

Maybe it’s the way you look at him with such quiet intrigue, or the way you rush to gather the immense amount of books and papers that you apparently carry in your bag. Whatever it is, it seems that he can’t take his eyes away from you.

“Miss Nin, I’m sure we can find a way that I’d be of use to you,” Jimin says as you shrug your bag onto your shoulder.

“I can help you with any organizational needs you might have, any—” the rest of his sentence trails off.

Jimin watches in fascination as you grab the full mug of coffee, tilt your head back, and down the entire thing in a matter of moments.

Then, you wrap the croissant in a napkin, dig in your wallet for an extremely generous tip (which you tuck under the vase of flowers on the table), give whoever is inside the cafe a friendly wave, and set off marching down the street.

He scrambles after you.

“Listen,” you begin impatiently. “I don’t need the publishers breathing down my neck and I certainly don’t need an “assistant” lurking around my workspace. So, if you would be so kind, please vacate the premises before I commit the stereotypical and turn you into an unlikable character that gets killed off in my next work.”

You pick up the pace as you stalk down the street, bristling at the fact that the publishers felt the need to send yet another spy after you expressed your intense dislike for them.

“Miss Nin, if you would just listen for a moment—” Jimin tries, but you’re quick to interrupt him again.

“Look, I’m sure you’re good at your job and all, but I simply have no need for any kind of assistant. I work best alone, even though the publishers refuse to acknowledge that. I’ve told them time and time again that outside involvement just slows me down. So, thank you for coming all the way out here, but you can tell the publishers that I dismissed you and I’ll take the heat from there.”

You say it all without looking at him, staring straight ahead like you’re hoping it will make him magically disappear.

By now the two of you have reached the mass of apartments, all in shades of old brown and faded cream. A criss-crossing system of fire escapes crawls up the sides of the building. The whole structure looks ancient, with peeling paint and chipped stone.

You approach an ivy-covered wall and stop at the door where Jimin started his search not too long ago. With the hand still holding the napkin-wrapped croissant, you punch a very long sequence of numbers into the keypad next to the buzzer.

A beep. You yank the door open and try to slither inside without him following you. But Jimin jams his foot through the gap before you can slam it shut.

“Miss Nin, please,” he pleads. “I really think I could be of help to you if you would just let me.”

There’s a moment where you stop to look at him, and something in your expression suggests that he might’ve gotten through to you.

Jimin’s breath catches in his throat when he sees how your lips part slightly, how your eyes flick over his with that same silent, enigmatic question.

He has to admit, something in his internal rhythm skips in that moment. Maybe this is the start of something—

“Nah, I’m good,” you say, whipping around and leaving Jimin hurrying after you after a pause of shock.

The room you’ve both entered is not what Jimin thinks of when he imagines the lobby of an apartment building.

There are checkered marble floors, shiny and polished despite the outward state of the building, and a number of large, stylishly modern leather couches scattered all throughout the large room.

But there’s also stacks of boxes lining the walls, countless empty picture frames propped up against each other, and cobwebs hanging like drapes from the ceiling.

You’re rushing up the stairs now, which stretches and spirals far above.

Jimin uses the curling iron railing to help him catch up to you. His professional shoes click against the marble, and the sound only adds to your annoyance.

He’s a persistent one, you’ll give him that.

“Trust me, Mr. Whoever You Are,” you say, somehow walking even faster. “You wouldn’t enjoy working with me. I’d make sure of it.”

Jimin is a little distracted. Not only by the incredible speed that you’re maintaining, but also the interior of your apparent “apartment building.”

Paintings crowd the walls, all in old intricate frames, a thick layer of dust over the landscapes, portraits, and impressions. It looks more like a museum than a place to live.

As Jimin follows you up the great, winding staircase, he can’t help but wonder why you’re so resistant to the idea of an assistant. It instills a small flame of curious determination in him.

He matches your pace, just a few steps behind you, as the two of you pass a massive cracked mirror leaning against the railing.

“Maybe I could come to that conclusion myself?” Jimin says, hopping up a step so he can stand next to you, trying to catch your eye.

But you keep on pretending he’s not there, staring straight ahead with the rigid focus only a writer possesses.

Higher and higher you climb, passing more curious things, like a broken chandelier surrounded by crystal shards, then a pile of rotting wood planks.

The sound of your footsteps remains steady while Jimin’s start to slow from exhaustion.

Either you’re completely unfazed by the incredible number of steps, or you’re very good at hiding it.

Jimin pauses, chest heaving, one hand on the railing as he leans over to catch his breath. He hears your steady footsteps carry on.

He looks up to see you reaching towards a rusty door at the end of a long hallway. Digging around in your bag, you pull out a bundle of jingling keys, almost immediately finding the right one and slipping it inside the lock.

Swinging the door open, you disappear behind it as Jimin springs into action again.

His hand slips between the gap just before the door closes and automatically locks.

What he hopes to see is the inside of your apartment, a refuge from the long stretch of exertion that lays behind him. But what he finds is more stairs.

This stairway is less grand. No marble floors or fancy railing, just a narrow tower of concrete steps and unpainted walls.

He follows you up the stairwell that twists this way and that, until the two of you reach yet another door.

“Go home, kid. I have no use for you,” you say dismissively, sifting through your key ring to unlock the door.

That does it. The last of Jimin’s patience flickers out like a candle flame.

The lock clicks open, and you try to slam the door in his face, but he extends his arm and plants his hand firmly on the wood.

The sound and force of it makes you jump, whipping around to face him.

His face has changed. A moment ago, it was soft and pleasant. Now it’s hardened and dark, his eyes piercing into yours like icicles.

“Miss Nin,” Jimin begins, voice sharp enough to cut. “I’ve been an author’s assistant for three years. I’ve helped eight authors complete more than eleven books, and I’ve never gone back to the publisher to ask for more time.”

He straightens, adjusting his coat while maintaining that same icy eye contact.

“Now, I will available to you whenever you may need me. And you will find that I can be very....persistent.”

You narrow your eyes at him.

“Here’s my home number, my mobile number, and my pager number. I don’t take calls past eight p.m. and I don’t tolerate the use of narcotics.”

You raise an eyebrow at that, begrudgingly taking the business card he hands you with all his information. 

“I believe the novel is set to release early next year,” Jimin says in a fake nonchalant tone. “Which means you have until the end of December to come up with a final draft.”

The mention of a deadline makes you bristle, setting him with a glare.

“So, until you put the last punctuation mark on the very last page, I will be here. Ready to assist you.”

A moment of tense silence. You glaring at him, him staring right back with a slight, smug smile.

You move to retreat into the doorway.

“Oh, and Miss Nin?” Jimin interrupts, sounding pleased with himself. “I get paid whether you like me or not.”

You slam the door.

stranger than fiction (1)

→ 📖 pairing: assistant!jimin x novelist!mc

→ ☕ genre: enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut

→ 🚬 word count: 3k

→ 🍝 summary: you are a reclusive author who wants nothing more than to be left alone so you can write at your own pace. jimin is the youngest executive assistant at Lucky Coin Publishers, and he’s never once been intimidated by a writer or their current project. that is, until he’s assigned to help you complete your latest novel. and you aren’t pleased about it.

→ 🍷 content warnings: profanity, smoking, jimin is very determined, mc is very grumpy, sexual tension.

→ 🖊 a/n: loosely based on a relationship from the movie stranger than fiction and also the tv show black books. thanks for reading :) 

series masterlist → next chapter

chapter 1: satan smoking a cigarette

Jimin has worked with many, many authors, but none of them have ever been this elusive.

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when i saw this fic again i practically squealed. This is the perfect example of life changing character development and writing that should be making millions

the wedding planners | jjk

↳ alternative title: ‘til death do us part? i’d rather die than be with you.

⇒ summary: jeon jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. then your best friend hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly jeon jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding. 

and then, as if your life couldn’t get any shittier, you make the poor decision of sleeping with him on the first day of the job.

⇒ enemies to lovers!au, wedding!au

⇒ pairing: jungkook x female reader (and some side yoonseok)

⇒ word count: 28k of self-indulgent banter

⇒ genre: fluff, light smut, light angst

⇒ warnings: alcohol consumption and too many clichés

⇒ a/n: woo boy. i don’t want to make this a/n too long but i know it will be. first, this is the longest fic i have ever written, ever. second, thank you to all of the support i’ve gotten while writing the original fic and the revamp. it’s been a long 6 months, people. third, i am tagging: @jeonhoney, @wicdrop, @gukhopes, @workofteaguk, and @army-author for being so damn supportive while i was writing this, and @kitschkylo because u asked me to! fourth, this is way better than the original fic and thus makes me even more proud of it. i finished it, you guys. it’s here. also, @macfullyloaded17 made this Hecking Amazing playlist for this fic that you should 100% listen to while you read this, and shoutout to her. 

⇒ DISCLAIMER: in no way is this a realistic portrayal of planning a wedding/getting married. if you’re planning a wedding, don’t rely on this fic to guide you. it’s just a bad idea.

check out the post-script drabble here!

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