Just Thought It Was Funny - Tumblr Posts
I haven't seen miraculous in a long time but my sisters watch it now so inspired something in shitty my teenage brain. MLB but instead of a yo-yo it's one of these:
And instead of baton, it's one of these:
Female Comebacks
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
HOW?? WHY?? WDYM THE FIRST TOP CRIMINAL MINDS POST CONTAINS MAX VERSTAPPEN X READER
✨📓 Storytime 📓✨
So I’ve pretty much decided that I wanna use tumblr as a wackadoo version of my journal because where else can I share my completely bonker thoughts and feel safe enough to be weird to do right? 😅
AnYhOo, there’s this guy who I’ll affectionately call Golden Sunshine Boy #GSB, who I’ve been lowkey not subtle at ALL crushing on for like 2+ years lately. He’s genuinely the purest most wholesome bean to exist on this entire planet, like you look up the word cinnamon roll or good boy and you’d pull up his name. Which is one of the reasons he caught my eye.
Well lo and behold, our mutual friend one day had invited me over for an holiday and told me hesitantly that he had gotten a girlfriend. Turns they’ve been dating for quite some time now, and I didn’t even know.
Funny enough as I casually started talking to GSB, I find out that not only is he dating this girl, but recently had a meeting with her father.
Yep. THAT kind of meeting.
And this man, this sweet, wholesome, lovable idiot of a man, turns to me with his stinking beautiful golden shinning smile and says with all the excitement of a small child:
GSB: “You know what? You actually helped me!”
Me: “wut?”
GSB: “Yeah! I met with S/O’s dad the other day and you actually helped me with the interview because we were talking about conflict styles. Since you had shared that test with me the last time we talked (I study Human Development and Communication for school and we had been talking about a bunch of relationship stuff previously) I was able to show him the screenshot of my results!”
Me: … ☝🏼😦 ✊🏼 😐
Welp turns out that I’m so good at third wheeling that I just helped the “love of my life” get engaged to someone else. Go figure 😅🥲💔