Jayus Adventures - Tumblr Posts
✨📓Story time📓✨
It’s morning at work which means it’s the prime time for me to have deep psychoanalysis with my coworkers. As one does *twirls hand*
So I lead off into a rant about an English teacher that I’m struggling with which upsets me because English teachers have always been my best friend. This little turd of a teacher won’t let me befriend him and it’s bugging me, so I’m sharing my tales woe when one of my coworkers mentions that his wife is an English teacher, and with a smirk says “So I love English teachers for very different reason.”
And me, ever true to my serendipitously jayus nature, fire off with out even thinking, “ English teacher eh? That means she likes words. You should try this on your wife: My lady if kisses are words, then come here I’m going to give you a speech.”
I’d never see that shade of red on a man before. I literally hit on his wife for him.
Where ever you are in the world today Mrs. Trevor, you’re welcome.😶😅
Anyway, I got all this rizz and no where to go.
Catch y’all next time 😆
✨📓Story time📓✨
Featuring @anobodyinabog
Just a little snippet based off a conversation with me and friend talking about our plans for Spring Break. I had asked for a list of her favorite snacks because ✨RoAdTrIp BaBy✨ and she had mentioned Goldfish.
I looked at her, and she looked at me, and I looked at her, and I could see the moment of realization in her horror filled eyes.
And I, ever true to my Jayus nature, without mercy, looked up with a grin and said without hesitation, “ Yo girl is your name Goldfish? Cuz you’re the snack that smiles back.” 😏😉👉🏼👉🏼
Needless to say the conversation ended shortly thereafter. She started to walk out 😆
✨📓 Storytime 📓✨
So I’ve pretty much decided that I wanna use tumblr as a wackadoo version of my journal because where else can I share my completely bonker thoughts and feel safe enough to be weird to do right? 😅
AnYhOo, there’s this guy who I’ll affectionately call Golden Sunshine Boy #GSB, who I’ve been lowkey not subtle at ALL crushing on for like 2+ years lately. He’s genuinely the purest most wholesome bean to exist on this entire planet, like you look up the word cinnamon roll or good boy and you’d pull up his name. Which is one of the reasons he caught my eye.
Well lo and behold, our mutual friend one day had invited me over for an holiday and told me hesitantly that he had gotten a girlfriend. Turns they’ve been dating for quite some time now, and I didn’t even know.
Funny enough as I casually started talking to GSB, I find out that not only is he dating this girl, but recently had a meeting with her father.
Yep. THAT kind of meeting.
And this man, this sweet, wholesome, lovable idiot of a man, turns to me with his stinking beautiful golden shinning smile and says with all the excitement of a small child:
GSB: “You know what? You actually helped me!”
Me: “wut?”
GSB: “Yeah! I met with S/O’s dad the other day and you actually helped me with the interview because we were talking about conflict styles. Since you had shared that test with me the last time we talked (I study Human Development and Communication for school and we had been talking about a bunch of relationship stuff previously) I was able to show him the screenshot of my results!”
Me: … ☝🏼😦 ✊🏼 😐
Welp turns out that I’m so good at third wheeling that I just helped the “love of my life” get engaged to someone else. Go figure 😅🥲💔
My toxic trait is that I genuinely think I could be friends with Damian Wayne 😶
Pickup Lines
Just chatting with my parents and my little niece at Sunday dinner, talking about how the small fry is getting one of those “phone watches” for her birthday maybe this year, and as such needed my number. I, thinking I’m the very cool suave auntie that I am, look at my niece and say with a barely concealed grin, “Yeah I’m reading through the book of Numbers in the Bible right now, and just realized I didn’t have yours.”
My niece of course very graciously giggled most insanely at my clever line while I glanced up to see my mother slowly drop her head into her hands, all the while muttering with a slight groan, “Maybe I should hug you more and you stop using that pickup line.” To which I respond that that line has actually gotten me more phone numbers than anything else I’ve used. My mother proceeded to just further shrink into herself with second hand embarrassment. All in a good days work, my friends 🤔🫡😎✌🏼✨