Kingkaard - Tumblr Posts
the kingqueenkaard polycule is absolutely hilarious in canon context cause like. you’re a powerful king and your bitch wife left you with a kid. so you get into a situationship with the kingdom’s hottest loser malewife twink and it works out for a while. until the dreaded Heroes of Legend show up, turn your kingdom against you and throw you in jail, and your idiot partner divorces you as well and gets custody of your kid. next thing you know he’s attempting to get together with your ex-wife to try and make you jealous, although she’s not into it at the moment. unfortunately for you it seems like his pathetic wetbaggedness is starting to charm her a little, or at the very least you saw him in her room with a lampshade on his head. so, that’s something.
Really just goofing around
If your two exes got together do you think that would make you go down the twisted dark path even more than you already have
would it be funny if every "rouxls kaard x any utdr adult" ship was simultaneously true. he quit being the king's evil henchman slash boytoy after he was overthrown and put in jail to pursue the exact same career path with the queen instead. and can't forget to attempt to get together with your soon-to-be overlord slash lover's head butler as well, even though, or perhaps because, said butler absolutely hates your guts. oh yeah, and there was that fling with the court jester too where they both ended up hating each other, even though the jester wasn't even nearly that insane back then. and during his cyber world trip, he might also have formed a deep meaningful connection with that one weird desperate salesman in the dumpster and maybe kissed him as well. and wouldn't it be cool if he somehow ended up in a mirror universe and met a fabulous sexy robot tv star, who was apparently a human-extermination machine and in charge of like 80% of the entertainment there, so, close enough to being an evil ruler — at least compared to the land's ACTUAL ruler. rouxls kaard somehow manages to be the biggest slut in the dark world despite his negative twelve charisma and swagless bitchless demeanor. that's something.
So emo edgy sad 😭⛓️🐺💔🖤😔
