Laugh Rule - Tumblr Posts - Page 7
modern art exhibit titled "I bet you won't kill yourself" that is just a loaded gun on a podium in a museum
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze
the other day i went “ugh why am i so hyper” then i went blank for a sec and was like. wait i literally have The Hyper Disorder. like did i forget or
was playing undertale battle mode and this bug was very in character
Whats the penis story
For this story you'll need to keep in mind that my username is Time Traveling Fetus and my friends call me Fetus. That throws people for a loop sometimes. (Sometimes strangers on the internet call me Time and that disappoints me greatly. It feels weird)
My discord friends had like an 8 person game of Among Us going one night. We were using the proximity voice chat mod, so we could hear each other between meetings. I had a habit of just saying "penis" to people as i was passing by. This is actually something I do outside of the game, especially when I don't have the energy to say anything meaningful but stull want to acknowledge someone. Cal in particular liked to "penis" back at me, and this proved useful when we were both imposters.
We were setting up for a double kill, but to do that you need to confirm the other person's readiness. While we had voice chat, we couldn't just ask. Our victims were in the room with us. So with the inflection of a normal conversation i said to cal:
"Hey cal?"
"Yeah fetus?"
"Penis penis penis?"
"Oh penis-penis penis. Penis penis."
"Ok penis, penis....penis!"
At which point we killed both our victims simultaneously without alerting them to our shenanigans prematurely.
I tried this again later in the night, but evidently my partner, who was no longer cal, was not on the same wavelength and did not understand. Plus, cal heard me give the penis signal and accused me in the next meeting, which I successfully brushed off. "Penis being related to murder? Cal that's ridiculous who would think that. Obviously he just likes saying penis a lot."
He was right of course.
We switched maps to Polus and eventually the imposter role came back around to me. Things were going smoothly. I was killing someone in the meeting room, only to see that Erin passed by the window just in time to witness the murder. She tried to run inside to report the body or press the button, only for me to meet her at the entrance. I began chasing her, and she turned around in a panic. In a rush of desperation, she began to shout "IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS! IT'S FETUS" as she ran down the middle of the map. By this time, my kill cooldown was only half over, and at this rate I would be exposed. I needed to buy some time. Thinking quickly, I began to shout even louder than Erin, "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!"
This continued for 10 desperate seconds until I killed her, finally silencing the screams. Unfortunately for her we had not run directly into another player, and her body was found several minutes later, long after I had fled the scene. Several people reported hearing her shout about penises before she died. I knew nothing of the incident.
It's my most glorious victory. It was a clever move that only would have worked for me, in that moment, on that night, with that group of people, in that situation. If I had chosen any username that sounded less like penis it wouldn't have worked.
Conclusion: penises are tools of murder
i have a friend whomst I will not name in case they don’t want to be asked about this but they have a Very Specific and Terrible power which is, if you take the online BDSM quiz and then just simply mention you have, they can look at you for under ten seconds and just state your top result.
I can’t tell you anything more soul-shattering, any death more instant and devastating, any moment more harrowing to witness than someone saying “yeah i took the BDSM quiz once” only for my friend to no more than glance at them and then announce “brat” and the look in the person’s eyes is that of one who just tipped too far back in their chair
comic under the cut
Happy Let Papyrus Say Fuck Day 2024!!!
In case anyone wants to know why Papyrus is so mad-
He’s the one that comforts Frisk when they wake up every night with nightmares. He’s the one that drives them to and from therapy. He’s the one that takes care of them.
That’s his kid.
So my roommate doesn’t like swears. They make her uncomfortable, so when I send her memes, I do my best to censor out any swears in them so she can enjoy them as much as I do.
I was trying to send her this meme
So I went to censor it into the final form in MS paint
Simple process, just set the secondary color to black
Highlight
And cut
Then copy and paste edited meme.
Which I did.
Except.
I forgot to copy the whole meme
So my roommate, whom I love dearly, just got a notification on her phone that only said
boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever
boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever
boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever
boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever
boom boom boom boom i want you in my loom knit you into a sweater then sew it up forever
