Lucifer Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Maze: did you know that atoms never touch each other? And since we’re made of atoms, we’ve never touched anything in our entire lives

Linda:

Maze: so no, I did not punch Amenadiel

Lucifer: I know we don’t get along with each other but I got you a bath bomb for your birthday. So whenever you’re feeling stressed just fill your bathtub with water and drop this in. I guarantee all your worries will be over

Dan: [opens the bag]

Dan:

Dan: this is a toaster

Chloe: we're going to need a really dumb plan to get out of here alive

*everyone looks at Lucifer*

Lucifer: I agree. What's your plan, Daniel?

Lucifer: *starts to think about doing something stupid*

Chloe: no

Lucifer: may I sit here?

Chloe:

Chloe: that's my lap

Lucifer: that doesn't answer my question

Lucifer: I'm the devil

Chloe: no

Lucifer *demonstrates his desire powers*: I'm the devil

Chloe: that's weird, but no

Lucifer *demonstrates his super strength*: I'm the devil

Chloe: no...

Lucifer *scares people out of their minds when she's not looking*: it's because I'm the devil

Chloe: no, there has to be a reasonable explanation

Lucifer: Alright, here’s the plan. 

Lucifer: Step 1: Get the plan. Step 2: Do the plan. 

Ella: You know there are rumors that you and Chloe are dating.

Lucifer: what? Rumors? You mean people doubt it?

Chloe: You better have a good reason for having done that!

Lucifer: Oh I have several.

Lucifer: Pettiness.

Lucifer: And also anger. 

Chloe: ...that's it?

Lucifer: Oh! And I have a desperate need for love and attention.