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┄ PLAY THIS WHEN I'M GONE

➳ Izuku Midoriya x f!reader

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

— content warnings: f!reader, angst, mentions of suicide, characters are aged up, written in Izuku's pov

— word count: 0.8k

Inspired by: Play This When I'm Gone by Machine Gun Kelly

My body felt numb as I sat at the table, a pen and a piece of paper in front of me.

For ten minutes I've been sitting at the table trying to find the right words to use, the words that would tell anyone who reads them why I died.

I'm writing you this message just so I can say that I love you I had to let you know that everything about me was you

With a heavy heart I finally gathered the courage to pick the pen up and start what felt like he hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Dear Y/N,

I just want to tell you that i love you with every fiber in my being, and I always will no matter what.

But I can no longer go on like this, nothing I do anymore feels right and I can't seem to justify any of my actions anymore. But I need you to know that you have given me the greatest possible happiness.

I think it's time for me to leave but I'll never leave you I just looked at your pictures so the last thing I did was see you

You ought to know, you were my best friend. You were. I know you loved me. I loved you. No one should have gone through what we went through, but we did. And it kills me whenever I think about it.

I know you’ll miss me, but don’t. I am the lowest being that there’ll ever be; you should live your life without me. I promise you’ll be able to move on. I’ll be in your heart always. no matter what.

I'm twenty-nine, my anxiety's eating me alive I'm fighting with myself and my sobriety every night And last time I couldn't barely open up my eyes, I apologize

I'm leaving you. I hope in the next life I will have a better childhood, parents, and friends. I hope the next life is better than this life, I hope it's not as sad as this life.

I wish that I would have gotten the help I needed. I wish I was able to open up and be able to cry. I wish the world was fair. But It's not. And I'm sorry. I hope you can understand why I'm leaving, though it may take a while.

I'm not gonna lie and tell you it's alright, it's alright You're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright, it's alright

I'm sorry for the pain I'm going to put you through. It's my fault your going to be sad now.

I'm not going to try and tell you to move on like I should, because I don't want you to. I know it sounds selfish, but even though I'm leaving, I don't want you to forget about me.

It would be easier to tell you that my death is no big deal, and that you'll be okay, but you know I hate lying to you.

You're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright, it's alright

I don't want you to hate me for what is already done, and I don't want you to cry, but I know you will.

I wanted to stay with you forever, I wanted you to be my forever. But fate had other plans for us.

I hope you get to go to all the places that I showed you When I was on the road and couldn't be home to hold you

I know I wasn't always there for you when you needed me to be. And for that I'm sorry.

I tried to make good things in my life and all of that is a fucking mistake, I cant even look people in the eyes anymore, I have lost confidence in myself.

Part of me doesn't want this cruel world to know you So just try and keep in mind everything that I told you

I know when you think about how I went, you'll get it. I was always uneasy about being alive. The idea of being dead makes me feel clear. When I think of it. It makes me think peace.

There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever.

I'm twenty-nine and society's eating me alive I'm fighting what comes this notoriety every night This is the last time I'll ever open up my eyes, I apologize

This letter will be the last time you ever hear from me, but I don't believe that this is truly the end for us. I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world, and I’ll be waiting for you there.

I'll wait as long as it takes.

And I'll miss you

copyright 2021 heizenka, all rights reserved. I do not allow my creations to be published of translated anywhere else so please do not repost.

"I just need to go out 'cause I can sleep when I'm dead"

-Machine Gun Kelly, Kiss Kiss