Miles Bron - Tumblr Posts

Ransom: A little mischievous, just enough of a dick to be sexy if you're into villains.

Miles: Literally the ickiest motherfucker alive. I don't care how hot Edward Norton is, you could not PAY ME to touch this man.

I love how utterly unfuckable Miles Bron is.

Rian Johnson saw everyone thirsting over Evil Chris Evans from the first movie and was like "not again."

the amount of glass onion posts on my dash this morning will not be over looked 😻

This bitch really couldn't even get his own sign-off.

I love how utterly unfuckable Miles Bron is.

Rian Johnson saw everyone thirsting over Evil Chris Evans from the first movie and was like "not again."

an underrated glass onion detail is miles saying his mother took him to the louvre when he was six- a subtle implication about how like, he CLEARLY had money to start with. he didnt conveniently have all those connections that helped everyone early on, or that helped him start alpha with andi. 

like most rich people, he started with money and gained more and more.

"It wasnt the real mona lisa bc the real mona lisa was painted on wood and thats clearly canvass" versus "It was the real Mona Lisa, just suspend your disbelief for a second" --- fam. Both options are good. Both options are great.

Either it was the real mona lisa, in which case, Miles Bron is a murdering idea-stealing phony who will be forever known as the guy who destroyed THEE mona lisa, and there is absolutely no coming back from that ----

OR, it was a fake, bc the museum was like "lmfao this joker thinks we'd loan him the ACTUAL mona lisa? Ahahahahaha" in which case, there's all the initial press coverage of the explosion and the shitty fuel and the murders and then the revelation that THEE MONA LISA was destroyed on Miles Bron's watch, and all of that plays out across the media, and THEN!!! the Lourve gets to step forward saying "dont worrry guys. We never gave him the real painting. We didn't trust him with it. We gave him a fake and he never noticed," which the media would have a FIELD DAY with, because it's like the resurrection of Jesus only with a painting, instead of a person, and also, the whole thing is funny as FUCK, bc they gave him a fake and he didnt notice, and also-also, clearly the Lourve was ahead of the curve when it came to recognising Miles' stupidity, and it'll stay in the media for WEEKS, that Miles was conned by the lourve and clearly they were right to trick him because LOOK WHAT HAPPENED to the fake Mona lisa, PLUS of course all the rest of the stuff like the 2 murders and the hydrogen fuel and the idea theft and etc.

Like?? There's no losing here. Both options are great. If it was real, then he'll never live it down, and if it was fake, he'll never live it down. Either way: fantastic

Glass Onion’s murder mystery game

Obsessed with Miles Bron in Glass Onion choosing a murder mystery game as the entertainment for his private weekend getaway with his closest friends. An activity to provide structure to what would otherwise be 3 days lazing about on a Greek isle with his “friends.” A game that requires an intensive weekend of solo investigation and observation and puzzle-solving…which Miles himself will not have to participate in. 

Miles has assigned his “friends” homework for their weekend holiday. And their assigned task is to labor and compete to impress him by solving a mystery. It’s no coincidence that the mystery game compels his friends to work separately. He has isolated his friends so that he can remain their individual focus. Note that Miles hasn’t bothered to come up with an actual prize for the winner…because to his mind, the ultimate prize is Miles’s respect. He’s flummoxed and insulted when Benoit Blanc requests a physical reward—and something as comparably worthless as an iPad.

So of course Miles’s friends are relieved when Benoit Blanc blows up the game. Because it means the pressure to perform is off. The pressure to provide the entertainment for Miles, because make no mistake, they’ve been invited to the island to entertain Miles and keep him happy. Honestly, ever since they took his side in the trial, that invitation has become a summons. Can you imagine any of them declining his invitation? It’s a luxury vacation, sure…but it’s also a summons to perform a jester’s dance before King Miles, who can easily destroy them if they fail to show their gratitude/fealty.

Miles’s response to the game ending early is to ask, horrified, “What am I supposed to do now? Play Yahtzee all weekend?” Heaven forbid he enjoy spending unstructured time with his closest friends in the lap of luxury! But to a narcissist like Miles Bron, any moment when the attention isn’t on him must be Hell. And that’s why his murder mystery game was the perfect plan to make his friends compete for his approval, while he sat back and enjoyed the show.

miles wrapping the robe around himself after andi says "golden titties" makes me laugh too much