Glass Onion Spoilers - Tumblr Posts
Ransom: A little mischievous, just enough of a dick to be sexy if you're into villains.
Miles: Literally the ickiest motherfucker alive. I don't care how hot Edward Norton is, you could not PAY ME to touch this man.
I love how utterly unfuckable Miles Bron is.
Rian Johnson saw everyone thirsting over Evil Chris Evans from the first movie and was like "not again."
the way Benoit Blanc just said “my hands are tied” and then “but here are some explosives, I’m going to leave the room”
I’m in love
I’m not sure if it was intentional on Rian Johnson’s part… but I found it so interesting how Knives Out and Glass Onion both illustrated how often white women can and will throw WoC under the bus to further their own self interests. Especially with regards to money and power.
In Knives Out, we watched Meg throw Marta (who she spent the whole movie advocating for) under the bus when she found out that Marta wouldn’t give her the money.
And then in Glass Onion, we watched 2 white women (and a black man) throw a black woman under the bus to further their own respective financial and professional goals. We also watched one of the white female characters treat her Asian female assistant like absolute shit, to the point that she was willing to use her career as collateral damage for money.
This isn’t to say this always happens, but it’s never surprising when it does.
Obsessed with the fact that serena williams sat there listening to the greatest detective alive and the founder of a tech company who’s just been embroiled in a public trial solving a murder case and she went back to reading her science fiction book.. queen of minding her own business
"It wasnt the real mona lisa bc the real mona lisa was painted on wood and thats clearly canvass" versus "It was the real Mona Lisa, just suspend your disbelief for a second" --- fam. Both options are good. Both options are great.
Either it was the real mona lisa, in which case, Miles Bron is a murdering idea-stealing phony who will be forever known as the guy who destroyed THEE mona lisa, and there is absolutely no coming back from that ----
OR, it was a fake, bc the museum was like "lmfao this joker thinks we'd loan him the ACTUAL mona lisa? Ahahahahaha" in which case, there's all the initial press coverage of the explosion and the shitty fuel and the murders and then the revelation that THEE MONA LISA was destroyed on Miles Bron's watch, and all of that plays out across the media, and THEN!!! the Lourve gets to step forward saying "dont worrry guys. We never gave him the real painting. We didn't trust him with it. We gave him a fake and he never noticed," which the media would have a FIELD DAY with, because it's like the resurrection of Jesus only with a painting, instead of a person, and also, the whole thing is funny as FUCK, bc they gave him a fake and he didnt notice, and also-also, clearly the Lourve was ahead of the curve when it came to recognising Miles' stupidity, and it'll stay in the media for WEEKS, that Miles was conned by the lourve and clearly they were right to trick him because LOOK WHAT HAPPENED to the fake Mona lisa, PLUS of course all the rest of the stuff like the 2 murders and the hydrogen fuel and the idea theft and etc.
Like?? There's no losing here. Both options are great. If it was real, then he'll never live it down, and if it was fake, he'll never live it down. Either way: fantastic
“It certainly wasn’t meant to skirt anything, but it wasn’t driven by COVID in particular. It was just kind of the way the scene was written. It’s the delight of connecting up that moment, when you come back to it halfway through, with the moment from the beginning was kind of the idea of it. I felt like having Blanc be gay and have a partner just felt like a very natural thing coming out of the first movie. I feel like in general, if you think about Poirot, for example, getting glimpses of the detective’s life outside of the scope of the case is interesting. But I don’t know that I can ever see the movies being more about that. The whole thing is kind of about the mystery itself.”
— Rian Johnson on why Benoit Blanc doesn’t appear onscreen with his lover in Glass Onion
#world’s gayest detective
So I obviously watched glass onion and loved it but something I haven't seen anyone mention is how Duke could absolutely have lived if he just carried an epi-pen. I'm someone with a lot of allergies, including a life threatening one to penicillin, and I immediately called that he was allergic to pineapple, and knew that there was no poison in his glass.
He lays there dying clearly from anaphylaxis, and his girlfriend doesn't know what's happening, he never goes for an epi-pen. This man who carries a gun everywhere is completely unprepared for an actual threat to his life because it doesn't fit into his self conception as a 'real man' and it kills him.
I just think it's a really interesting character detail that someone who doesn't know much about food allergies might not notice.
I think the cool thing about Benoit Blanc is how he is never, in his mind and on screen, the hero. He is the helper. He puzzles things out. But as he tells Helen, there's a limit to what he can do.
Actually, no, that's not even true. He COULD have blown up the house with Klear himself. He COULD have proved Ransom was responsible without also proving to Marta that she is, in fact, a good nurse. But it was Helen's vengeance to take, and it was Marta's house to claim, and he knows that he's a guest in their stories.
I love how utterly unfuckable Miles Bron is.
Rian Johnson saw everyone thirsting over Evil Chris Evans from the first movie and was like "not again."
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery + paintings (x/x)
The Mona Lisa (1503-1506) by Leonardo da Vinci The Last Supper (1495–1498) by Leonardo da Vinci The Scream (1893) by Edvard Munch
it was so funny in glass onion when helen was literally just like "well what if miles just killed andi" and blanc was like naaaah he wouldn't do that. that'd be such a stupid thing to do. miles bron is not an idiot. and then the whole point of the movie was that he WAS an idiot and he DID just kill her. they put it right in front of us and a lot of people probably dismissed it (at least i did) cause we were expecting the murderer to be cunning like they usually are
This bitch really couldn't even get his own sign-off.
After the credits of Glass Onion, you KNOW Blanc hopped on the phone like
"Marta, I just - yes, yes, I know, it's late for you - but listen I just - well, if you were going to bed, why did you pick up? - anyway, I just met this AMAZING woman, you HAVE to meet her, Marta she blew up a HOUSE - yes, on purpose - YES, WITH PEOPLE INSIDE, also the Mona Lisa - no, I'm in Greece - Marta, please stop yelling, I'm very tired -"
I love how utterly unfuckable Miles Bron is.
Rian Johnson saw everyone thirsting over Evil Chris Evans from the first movie and was like "not again."
i care a lot about how the benoit blanc mysteries balance their triumphant endings with still being deeply sad. marta gets the house and stops the bad guy but it doesn’t change the fact that harlan (her friend!!) did not have to die. helen brings down miles bron but it won’t bring back her sister.
Bond girls are out. Blanc girls (underprivileged women who screw over rich assholes with the help of this silly detective) are in.
the twist I kept waiting for in Glass Onion was that Serena was still “on the clock” in the gym—sitting still—and that she saw everything. Just when they think all the physical evidence is lost, the case is solved by the world’s most famous tennis star recording a conference call on her weird work-from-home gig.