Naruto Rant - Tumblr Posts

Random Naruto Rant 1

Shino was a fashion icon far ahead of his time, all of his fits was hard as hell and he knew his fits was hard as hell 😭🔥

His Shippuden design was easily one of my favorites like the layering and the look of it all is just so sick

Kishimoto made up for his lack of screen time and development with his fits and I guess I can forgive him for that cz everything Shino puts on is a masterpiece (excluding his Boruto fit 😔)

Random Naruto Rant 2

I’m glad we can all collectively agree that they’ve 100% explored each other’s bodies before 😭💕

Narusasu is cute and all but let’s not forget the original boykissers of Konoha 😔

Even as a child with negative brain cells I knew there was something really special about those two.

Random Naruto Rant 3

I was thinking about this while half asleep but the more I think about it the more it makes sense!!

Okay so hear me out, Kisame with a tiny pet kitten..

Like he found it orphaned while out on a mission w/ Itachi and decided to scoop it up into his pocket and keep it to raise as his own.

You’d expect a guy like him to have some type of exotic fish or a huge dog but instead he has the cutest fluffiest kitten that easily fits in your palm with the silliest name ever

And I can see him getting emotional over it growing up and getting too big for him to carry around in his palm or being genuinely offended whenever it waddles to Itachi instead of him 😭😭

Normalize big scary men with cute little pets 🗣️🙏🏾💕💕

Random Naruto Rant 4

The Nara clans hairline will always be one of the greatest Naruto phenomena for me

It’s like it gets worse with every generation and they aren’t making it any better with those tight ass ponytails they be wearing 24/7

Just look at Shikamaru throughout the years, it just keeps getting worse but it’s understandable with all the stress they be putting that boy through 😭

And then there’s Shikadai who didn’t even get a fighting chance, he was just born with it..

You said NH is more toxic than SS hwo!?!? SS literally can’t be more toxic than any other relationship I’ve ever seen in media Sasuke is never home or looks miserable and Sakura is just creepy and childish. At least Naruto and Hinata just seem to be a bit more normal like a family as Hinata takes care and Naruto does too. Sasuke doesn’t give a shit about his wife and leaves Sakura in dirt. No way NH is more toxic. Explain im curious please Love your art tho

Exactly. "Seem to be." And that’s why. 

Toxicity is a relative thing y’know? 

Meaning with anything, the dose of it matters.

Some poisons aren’t lethal until its breathed deeply into the lungs, for others mere skin contact is already fatal. Some people burn off their hair by bleaching it once, others, like ..myself can bleach it 3 times, but still can’t get the damn green hair dye out 😑 though still have soft hair luckily (my secret is a diet of chocolate milk and chicken nuggets. I keep telling people- science is wrong). It’s also possible to die from drinking too much water as it can poison your brain. (Again, chocol- nvm.)

Some couples (SS) are aware of it’s toxicity- (Sasuke knows, Sakura puts on an act- but knows, Sarada is hopeful- but knows, I know, you know, your first cousins’ best friend from pre-school that smears expired custard all over the place knows) and to a degree have been forced to accept a middle-ground in this environment of toxin overload as there is no fresh air available when it’s all three of them together. That’s why Sasuke escapes from the village for the sake of his lungs so he can start the detoxification process and heal his damaged immune system.  

And other couples (NH), live their lives while their livers, kidneys, lymphatic systems.. you name it, have not been evolved to deal with this growing number of toxins they unknowingly interact with everyday. 

Today we hear health advisers of all kinds talk about ridding the body of toxins. Except, Naruto seems to be displaying similar behavior like Sasuke, perhaps unknowingly listening to his body (or (the ghost of) Kurama) that tells him to get rid of the toxins that linger within by avoiding his wife as much as possible. Experiencing fatigue, memory difficulties, sleep impairment, depression, or “brain fog” without acknowledging/being fully honest as to why this is. When this happens, real damage is imminent and toxicity much, much more fatal. 

All jokes aside, this is of course a biased opinion and an unpopular one, but I will stand by it. I neither like SS nor NH, but NH’s “normal” family faux-facade makes me want to gag. 

But most importantly, SS's turmoil is not only visualized more straightforward than NH, but it’s literally handed to us on a silver platter that in the most confident and convincing manner says: 

Sure, right.. 😂

Anyway-

Even though Sakura knows (whether she admits it in speech or not) how Sasuke feels, she is completely oblivious about something she thinks is the only thing between them that represents something positive. (Apart from Sarada I guess.) I know that a lot of people contemplate what this “thing” is that Sakura has received from Sasuke that is supposed to be better than a kiss (since she hasn’t even received that.. I mean..) (some people say a semen sample, lmao. Letter: “You can do it yourself, eh” “Darling.. thank you” 😂). 

((( context )))

But I’m quite sure she meant the forehead poke: 

Because when Sasuke distanced himself from them again after having been there briefly and poked Sarada’s forehead, she recognized the gesture from the day that Sakura did it to her regarding the question "what's better than a kiss?" But, Sakura never told her more about it. (Why didn’t she? Who knows.) 

And they’re both completely unaware that Itachi used this gesture to keep Sasuke at a distance as his life was tainted with lies and deception which he didn’t want his little brother to be involved in. Until the gesture wasn’t needed anymore and brought him in close finally. Then again, Sakura doesn’t know anything about Sasuke at all. A supposedly married couple that didn’t even share a memory or anything? Physical and Emotional distance. Nice. 

SS just makes it too obvious, Sasuke isn’t hiding much apart from us readers and Sarada not knowing how she’s conceived, because Karin saying “I’m the one who delivered Sarada!” at the end of Gaiden all of a sudden, literally doesn’t explain everything else and it doesn’t convince me. She doesn’t say: “It was between Sakura and Sasuke!” (I know how biology works, okay, but you know what I mean. She chased him and suddenly Sarada was born in “our” hide-out? What’s up with the whole DNA-thing?) Nothing ‘directly’ indicated anything specific. At least not with the translations I have. They might be wrong of course, we'll just have to wait and see.

And "Sasuke leaving Sakura in the dirt".. well-

Sakura knew what she would get herself into and chased after him anyway. Continuously so, regardless- she asked for it and still pretends all is well when its clearly not, just like Hinata, but at least SS feels less fake even when its trying to be for Sarada's sake. D’you know what I mean? It’s hard to explain if I’m being honest. If anything, I can at the very least respect that.

Now.. NH however.. there is a lot to say, but I’ll save that for my Hinata post. We all know how miserable, crushed, mutilated and pulverized our Naruto has become, but even Hinata went from “🥺👉🏻👈🏻” to “:))”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not concerned for her character she may get stabbed by wooden spears for all I care, (sue me) but I can’t imagine a woman so infatuated with another person, to be happy in this situation either. Her plan of forever “yes men”-ing her longtime obsession with (in her mind) positive reinforcement, love bombing him with intended praise or reward type behavior with a newly discovered flavor of tea, but only receiving reciprocation in the form of romantic drama’s as she isn’t getting any in real life- seeing Naruto then being illustrated with such lethargic disinterest … 

.. or emphasized multiple times that he doesn’t sleep next to her at all, but rather on a couch or on a one-person bed:

.. completely backfired. And this is perhaps Naruto’s way to avoid not just his family (which he does painfully often for someone who craved one his whole life), but also conflict. It is impossible to avoid a disagreement otherwise without addressing it, especially in a long-term relationship/marriage.

Ah, but Hinata could never, she is the perfect waifu after all and Naruto wouldn’t say anything to her either, she’s too delicate and he wouldn’t hurt a “wallflower”, she’s too kind. So… avoidance it is.

Hinata Hyuuga bores him to death, literally killing Konoha’s 7th Hokage after having blackmailed him into this garbage marriage. 😂 She may be that strong after all.   

But nah, everything is paradise and sunflowers. Just a “normal” family as you say. 

Naruto: Hinata :) 

Hinata: Naruto-kun :)) 

Naruto: ..

Hinata: ..

Naruto: ..

Hinata: .. would you like tea?

Naruto: oh.. sure. Thank you Hinata :) 

Hinata: :)) 

Naruto: *Zzzz* 

Hinata: *entertains self with drama’s* 

Of course you can never fight or disagree with anything ever if you don’t really communicate. If I HAD to pick one? I much rather prefer harsh rejection than “:))” + this faux-facade that pretends to be that “perfect” and “normal” family when it’s not. Again, they make me gag. 

Personal preference (+ my dislike for Hinata) is all Non.e. 

There's really people making whole blogs just for spewing stupid takes and hating on characters out there, huh

How about just not reading Sasuke Retsuden or indulging in content with characters you don't like? Not harassing people just trying to have a good time? You have options to not be a dick. Just leave people alone