Naur - Tumblr Posts
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THE WIKI PAGE
Hi
Im at work and im on the verge of a meltdown in front of a bunch of old people
i cant tell you how hard it is to be fucking unmediated, almost every single day every single second every Millie second, it’s hell. My brain won’t let me focus I can’t stop being tired all the time I’m always being ripped apart for the littlest things in my head..im so tired. I’m so fucking tired. I’ve been dealing with this my entire life and it has just been getting so bad. I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t wait to go home
Im sorry If i stop doing anything on here I’m not Well.
Sorry for bitchin I just need to get this out bleh
LAST CHRISTMAS — b.jc
— pairing: jacob bae x gn!reader
— genre: angst, bittersweet
— word count: 646
last christmas - wham!
━━━━━━━━━━━🎄━━━━━━━━━━━
jacob hoped you were happy.
that was his first thought as he saw you across the hall, drink in hand and a stranger in tow. jacob might’ve recognised him if he thought hard enough, but he knew that might be too much for his heart to take. he was barely holding on watching the way said mystery man touched your waist, the way you leant into him, the way you looked at him with eyes so full of love.
he often wondered if you ever looked at him like that, and he was just too blinded by love to see it.
it was his fault he lost you. he should have been clearer, but he tiptoed around what he wanted to say and lost you all together.
“can i play you a song?” jacob had asked exactly a year ago, having escaped to the rooftop of the busy christmas party where his guitar had been waiting.
you had nodded, and jacob continued, confessing that the song was for someone special. the words were heartfelt and beautiful, a gentle confession without having to say a word. a song in which he confessed three years of unspoken feelings, where he told of stories in which you still manage to catch his eye in a crowded room of people – a song where he put his heart and soul out in the open for all to see.
except, before he had the chance to tell you it was all for you – that you were his special – you had stood up and given his shoulder a squeeze.
your voice trembled with something jacob couldn’t recognise when you spoke; either terror at his confession, or sadness at the thought his song might’ve been for someone else. jacob didn’t know then, and he never would.
“i’m sure they’ll love it.”
things had never been the same. jacob had never been particularly close with you, he wasn’t like the younghoon and hyunjae’s of the office, who you spent most of your waking time with. but he thought he was someone.
he was that someone who you always came to first when you had a problem. the someone whose stationery you shamelessly stole and never gave back, only to leave him a brand new package of pens with a little bow attached to them on his desk over a month later. he was the someone you always came to find whenever your boss, sangyeon, had put too much on your plate.
now, he was just your coworker.
after that, for whichever of the reasons it may be, you put distance between you and jacob. you’d steal younghoon’s stationery instead. you’d go to chanhee when you had a problem. and jacob only ever heard your name through the grapevine.
he knew it had hurt, but pushed those thoughts of heartbreak to the back of his mind in favour of burying himself in his work. it was only when the annual work christmas function came back around, the anniversary of when he had made that mistake, that he began to consider how he felt.
crazy enough, he thought it would hurt, seeing you. and it did momentarily, it stung deeply within his chest as he stared off in your direction instead of paying attention to his friends. it hurt even more when he saw the nature of your relationship with the man you had brought.
yet all those pains dwindled away when you caught his eye across the room for the first time in a year.
there was a soft, apologetic smile on your lips, a watery glow to your eyes as you lifted your free hand to give him the tiniest of waves – and that was the closure he needed.
all he ever wanted was your happiness, and if you had found it now, then maybe it was time for him to work on his own.
ೃ⁀➷ note: i thought of this approx. 20 minutes ago so if it seems rushed. yes it is but also i Had to write it the second i thought of it
5 down, 6 to go!!
PERMANENT TAGLIST (click for form): @cloudykyu @i6swoo @pockyandme @changmin-wrlds @hannieyooon @nyujjan
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don’t do this to me schnozz …
Just realised 2025 is in 4ish months and-
*cries*
