Nerr (my Unit) - Tumblr Posts

OTP drawing challenge day 3-(crying) (I may have been listening to Otetsu's "Candy and Chains" when I drew this...)

“Gunther? Dearest, what is it? What’s wrong? …I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me…”

Ever since her brain injuries, Nerr has been… apathetic towards most things in life at best. Strong emotions don't come as easily to her as they once did. However, if you dare even look funny at Elise or Gunther, she will come after you like a pack of savage wolves. Unfortunately for her, some problems can’t be stabbed away. Spending three months in complete isolation and constant fear of his life (in Valla) took it’s toll on Gunther, whose life up to that point hadn’t exactly been pleasant. Sometimes, he just needs to vent. She gets that… but she doesn’t like it. She wants his sadness and pain to be a physical thing that she can maul.

OTP challenge day 4 (AU)

“You wanna be the best? Then you gotta BEAT the best, little girl.”

“You’re gonna be screamin’ my name by the time I’m done with you, grampa~”

Fuck yeah, I'd give anything to have some kind of FE mixed into my other favorite franchise, Pokémon! So we’ve got Champion Gunther and challenger Nerr. Pokémon needs more sexy oyajii champions. Alder was my game crush until… actually, fuck; who said I ever stopped loving Alder? That crazy awesome bastard is ALL my turn ons. In this Pokéverse, Nerr is not the friendly player character- that would be Azura. Nerr is the rival you name “Douchebag” who’s always three steps ahead of you and exists to mock your shitty Pokémon with her cheating-AI, perfect-IV team. You beat the Elite Four only to discover she’s already become the Champion.

Also, the Champion is the leader of the villan team, and you don't get to take down the villans until the post game, because the admins are OP as fuck and would laugh before curbstomping you. After pc Azura beats rival Nerr and takes her Champion title, she joins the villans, cuz fuck that playing fair bullshit. “Psh, nothing personal, nerd…” Oh, I hate her so much, and that makes me love her even more~

They both have balanced teams, but Nerr would specialize in Dragon and Fairy types while Gunther specializes in Dark and Poison types.

OTP drawing challenge day 5-(in bed)

"Wishing you would call my name, ‘cause only you can light the flame…" (if you haven’t heard The Flame by Keiko Lee, then go listen to it cuz it’s prime sex music)

Hey you never said what they had to be doing in bed~ I thought I’d try my hand at some porn, though it’s pretty soft core. I can’t bring myself to draw anything more lewd than this (though I can certainly try to write it…). Is this NSFW? It doesn't feel that way to me, but lemme know if it is and I'll tag it.

They’re both covered in terrible scars. I wrote a one shot a million years ago to help me picture what The Road Not Trekked's tone would be about that, where Gunther always insisted they have sex with the lights off, but since Nerr has dragon vision and can see in the dark, she assumes it’s because he thinks she’s ugly and disfigured. Nope, he just doesn’t want to see himself because he thinks HE’S ugly and disfigured. It pretty much ended with them both being like, “wtf are you smoking; you’re perfect!”

Doing this, I can kinda understand why hentai and sexy things in general look as bad as they do. When you start drawing risqué poses, at first, it looks great. But then you start turning the picture, and notice all the gross anatomical inaccuracies, so you have to erase and elongate and erase and elongate until it's actually proportional. And that's really hard to do if you're drawing shit one handed. I guess what I'm saying is... if you wanna draw porn, don't draw porn of things you masturbate to.

I threw together a quick Nerr reff, cuz it’s hard to keep track of all her scars. One day, I might write a bio if anyone’s interested. And if anyone’s read my fics, this is post “The Rising Dark” Nerr, so you might remember some of these wounds. I might do her “The Falling Light” look later.

A white, long sleeved tunic, black tights and black gloves are her standard clothes. She wears that under her Nohr Noble armor (if any awesome ppl ever draw her, don’t worry about it tho). She’s pretty damn muscular (with a personal trainer like Gunther, how can she not be?), though most of her bulk is in her legs. She loves running and flipping. The sidetail is her default hairstyle, because she has no idea how to do anything else with it, but she wears a fishtail braid to sleep (and when she doesn’t feel like undoing it in the morning). She always, ALWAYS wears that butterfly hairpin. It’s actually a copy, because the original was completely broken, but she refused to stop wearing it.

The scar on her face was from her battle with Nishiki (Kaden). The Kitsune’s tails are laced with their corrosive saliva, which is why, unlike most scars, it can’t be fully healed.

The discoloration on her chest isn’t hair, it’s a… let’s say magic skin graft. If you can imagine someone getting shot in the chest with a double barrel shotgun, that about approximates the injury she endured. She wears high necked clothes to conceal it.

It’s hard to see, but she only has half of her left ear (her ears are longer than Corrin’s, about Nowi’s length). The top half was cut off by Fuuga (completely by accident, but still). As such, you can usually see her right ear sticking out from her hair from a front view, but not the left. It still has a scalloped edge, but is about the size of a normal human ear.

The veins on her left arm aren’t discolored; that’s a fractal scar branching out from a cauterized burn left by the Raijinto. If you don’t know what fractal scars are, google “lightning scars”. They’re usually temporary, but since the Raijinto is magic, it’s effects last much longer, including very severe neuropathy.

The weird, centipede-looking scar on both her front and back is the result of a run-in with a Wyrmslayer. Unlike the other scars, which are flat due to scar tissue growing to replace the missing flesh, Wyrmslayers cauterize a dragon’s skin, meaning no new flesh can grow. That wound is essentially just stitched together with magic, and will never heal.

That massive patch of jagged skin on her back is the result of one of Takumi’s Fuujin arrows blowing a hole in her right wing (in her dragon form). Since a third of her back is scar tissue, she can’t move as fluidly as she used to.

The crescent on her stomach is the result of an emergency cesarean section she had to undergo at the hands of a shade-tree surgeon in the middle of Nowhere, Hoshido, to deal with a missed miscarriage turned septic. It’s assumed it was due to the unsanitary conditions of a large battalion of soldiers, but the truth is that dragons (especially the ancient breeds of manaketes) are usually infertile, and those that aren’t can take dozens of attempts to concieve, to say nothing of actually having a live birth.

And of course, there’s all the random scars from where she got shot with arrows all over her arms and legs. Fun fact- steel arrows can penetrate plate armor. Not very deeply in most cases, but deep enough to leave a scar unless you’ve got chain mail or a pretty thick gambeson on underneath.

So, in my infinite hubris, I thought of what my Fates retelling (The Road Not Trekked) would look like as a live action show.... by which I mean I've been fantasizing about Iain Glen playing a live action Gunther. For as much as I love DC Douglas, and even though he was a screen actor long before he became our favorite old knight's VA, he doesn't *look* like a grizzled old knight. The insanely bright colors (i haven't used GIMP in years, I can't remember how to adjust the contrast properly) now make me want a show with a serious Breaking Bad/The Sopranos/Game of Thrones theme.... filmed like a campy 60's show a'la Batman.

*~*BONUS*~*

Ryouma: "You don't even like Hoshido, do you?"

Nerr: "I HATE Hoshido. It's for tools."

Ryouma: "Hoshido is awesome and for winners- YOU'RE for tools!"

Glow (a fe:f fanfic)

A/N- Not exactly a sequel, but rather the events that unfold after The Rising Dark. I wanted this to be a one-shot, but it ended up becoming a multi-chaptered short story that I work on when I have writer's block. I kind of want to post it on FFN and Ao3, but I'm wondering what people here think first, so here's the first part. Warning (cuz tumblr needs that nonsense, apparently): it's dark, and deals with miscarriages. Don't wanna trigger anyone

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“Before I even realized it, I've grown up and matured

Beautiful lies grace my tongue, concealing old regrets

By now, I've had my share of pain and suffering, to be sure

But even so, that doesn't mean it stopped yet....”

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Nerr paused for the third time as she made her way to the throne room, leaning against one of the many pillars that lined the halls of Castle Krakenburg and inhaling deeply several times. She wasn't out of breath, she simply... felt strange. She had been feeling odd since leaving Macarath four days ago. Shifting the papers she held under her right arm to her left, she rested her hand over her belly, frowning slightly. She had long since become accustomed to the swelling of her once flat stomach. Gunther had told her pregnancy brought with it all manner of strange aches and maladies. She trusted him. It was nothing. Sighing, the princess continued on her way. Xander had requested her presence at this morning's levee, and she was ever a dutiful sister, although this probably had more to do with the attack that had left three Hoshidans seriously injured than familial support. Pushing the heavy double doors open with her shoulder (she couldn't risk straining too hard), Nerr nearly fell in as they opened with far less force than she had anticipated. She did not fall, however, quickly braced by arms that led to familiar brown eyes and blonde hair.

    “Were you just waiting by the door for me, Leo?”

    “Yes.” He answered plainly, setting his sister upright. Despite being two years younger, the second (now first) prince of Nohr had overtaken Nerr by another solid two inches in the year since the war ended. Camilla had beamed that he was having a growth spurt, but Nerr felt the sudden influx of fresh produce made readily available from Hoshido played no small role. Even Elise had grown larger, though she still remained tiny and adorable compared to the rest of her family. At this rate, Nerr was certain she was going to end up being the shortest in a few years- it seemed height was not something her birth family had to spare. Even Ryouma had been dwarfed by Xander... a pair of fingers snapping an inch from her nose brought her back from her wandering thoughts. Leo frowned, his exasperated expression ever the same despite his maturing face.

    “Can you go five minutes without your mind drifting to gods' know what?”

    “I suppose not.” The prince frowned at her subdued response.

    “And here I was expecting an insult. I know you're not the quickest wit, Nerr, but I thought you could do better than that.” Inhaling and sighing again, the princess began walking towards the throne, her brother quickly matching her pace.

    “I don't feel up to any verbal sparing today, Leo.” At once, the younger boy's expression shifted to concern and he overtook her, standing in her path to still her.

    “Are you feeling alright, sister? You're not unwell, are you? No pain, shortness of breath...?” Nerr smiled slightly. Despite always having been rather aloof towards her, Leo made it very clear he was concerned about her wellbeing, especially while she was with child.

    “I'm fine, Leo. Just a bit tired.” It was more than simple tiredness, but she was sure that she would feel better if she just got a bit of rest, which would be much easier in her own bed as opposed to a cramped carriage. The younger boy frowned deeply.

    “I don't know what Xander's thinking, summoning you to a levee while you're pregnant. Doesn't he know this is your no-good husband's duty?” Had those words come from anyone else, they would have sparked a fury inside her, but she knew Leo well enough to appreciate his sense of humor.

    “Gunther always attends the levee. He won't admit it, but he's exhausted. Dealing with nobles taxes him--”

    “Not as harshly as he taxes them.”

    “Careful, baby brother; you keep cracking jokes like that and we'll start to think you've been replaced with someone amusing.”

    “There's that wit, or lack thereof.” Leo's smile was brief, replaced with a disapproving scowl once more. “Regardless, he should still be taking as many burdens off you as possible. You shouldn't have even gone to Macarath. You're making a person, Nerr; I sincerely doubt Gunther is as exhausted. as you.” She truly appreciated his concern, and let it be known by leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

    “You are surprisingly understanding about all this, Leo. You'll make a good husband one day.” The color rising in his cheeks did not go unnoticed, but she ignored it. “Unfortunately, I had to go to Macarath. It was a diplomatic visit. Easing tensions and diffusing situations before they become riots is my duty.” He knew he could not argue with the truth, and didn't even bother trying. Though Nerr would not admit it, the truth was, she cared more about feeling useful again than keeping the peace between Nohr and Hoshido. She wanted to feel like she could do something right again after so many failures. She rested her hand on his elbow, trying to sound as earnest as she could. “I'm fine, Leo. Everything is fine.” He looked as though he might try to argue that point, but the sound of hinges creaking behind them drew both royals' attention. The door leading to the Lord's chamber had opened, and Xander stepped into the throne room. As was expected, Nerr and Leo curtseyed and bowed, respectively, to their king. The elder sibling smiled, his furrowed brow relaxing.

    “At ease, brother, sister. There's no need to stand on ceremony when it's only us.”

    “Best to not get in the habit of shirking our formalities, brother. Can you imagine the scandal if we were caught not showing our king the respect he's due?” Nerr laughed humorlessly.

    “The capital will be buzzing about how we're plotting a coup before the day is over.” Contrary to his siblings amusement, Xander did not look nearly as amused.

    “One would think that the litany of rumors that already abound within the castle walls would be enough. Or have the nobles already gotten bored talking about my insatiable lust and private harem in the dungeons?”

Nerr quickly frowned as well. That was one of the more damning pieces of gossip making it's way through the grapevine. Xander's first year on the throne had inspired more criticism than she would have liked. Not due to his strict measures and unpopular reforms (well, not so much due to them) so much as his bachelorhood. Normally, the king married before he was crowned, or at the very least, had a betrothal waiting in the wings. Xander stated time and again that ensuring Nohr's stability was more important than taking a wife, but everyone from the nobility to the maids insisted behind their hands that it was simply because he, like his father before him, was too fond of sampling the milk to buy a cow. Nerr had taken it upon herself to try and find a suitable wife for her brother, someone from a good family (to keep the hordes of nobles from rioting), kind and intelligent who knew her place and wouldn't try to use her position for anyone's gain but Nohr's, but Xander proved to be surprisingly picky, dismissing her candidates for the pettiest of reasons. Back in her room, she had several sheaves of paper, documents from old Nohrian families who believed their daughters were worthy of becoming queens. Just thinking about it made Nerr feel nauseous. She pressed her fingers to her lips, waiting for the queasiness to pass. The king looked at her, concern flitting over his face.

    “Nerr? What's wrong?”

    “Nothing, brother. I'm just feeling a bit sick to my stomach.” Rather than alleviate his concern, Xander's brows furrowed deeper.

    “Isn't it a bit late for that? I thought you'd be over your morning sickness by now.” She shook her head, instantly regretting it as it seemed to make the world spin around her. Leo placing a hand on the small of her back was all that kept her from stumbling.

    “Oh... there is no getting over morning sickness, Xander. It's just a part of my life now.” The eldest royal reached out, resting his hand on her shoulder and gently stroking her through the fabric of her dress. Nerr let her eyes close for a moment, his familiar method of comforting her easing a bit of her malaise.

    “It pains me to force you to be here at my side when you should be resting, little princess. I assure you, I will attempt to get through today's levee as quickly as possible.” She appreciated his sentiments, but knew full well that there was no getting through a levee quickly, which was soon made clear as the throne room filled with dignitaries and officials. Xander took his place atop his throne, looking very regal in Nerr's eyes as she stood beside the steps leading up to it, Leo on the opposite side. The whole ordeal was the same as it had always been the other times she had been present for levees, the ducal ministers coming forward one at a time with their predictable, yet worrying nonetheless, news and requests.

Requests for soldiers in Dia as an unexpected string of pirate raids had left their border guards stretched to breaking. A surprise freeze in Anomovic had destroyed the majority of the flowers from which the fragrance wholesaler drew it's wealth, and as such, they would not be able to pay their taxes on time. While she knew this was the brunt of a royal's duty, no amount of studies could have prepared Nerr for the fatigue that came from simply listening to other people's problems. She shifted, grateful no one could see her bare feet beneath the hem of her gown, and placed her hand over her stomach. Dull, throbbing cramps had joined her worsening nausea, making the task of simply standing there and looking regal a hundredfold more taxing than it should have been. Leo sent her glances with increased frequency, but the princess tried to ignore him, tried to ignore everything but the words being spoken by the duke of Nestra, where the attack had taken place.

There was no shortage of such stories, people being attacked on both sides of the continent, even resulting in one or two deaths, but what made it so distressing this time was where it happened. Nestra had always been welcoming to Hoshidans, the Nohrian equivalent of Izumo. The victims, a wealthy merchant and his wife and child, had been viciously set upon by what they referred to as “thugs”, and had taken their righteous fury straight to Empress Hinoka. There was talk that she was considering issuing sanctions against the entertainment capital, even banning Hoshidans from visiting Cyrkensia. Such a ban would spell economic ruin for a city that thrived on the wealth brought in from the east, but try as she might to focus her attention on the dire situation, Nerr could think of little but her increasing pain. The cramps had become sharp, moving to her back and reaching an intensity that made it hard to breathe. A particularly sharp jolt left her doubled over, the papers she held fluttering to the floor as she clutched her stomach. The Nestrian duke stopped speaking, but whispers rose up from the rest of the dignitaries like a swarm of bees.

    “Nerr. What is it?” Xander's voice sounded like it came from far away, and even though she could see Leo's shoes quickly approaching her, she could barely hear him over the throbbing in her skull.

    “Sister, what's wrong?” Biting her lip to keep from crying out, Nerr shook her head. Nothing as wrong. Nothing was wrong.

    “I-- I think I need to use the restroom...” She whispered, even as she felt something hot run down her leg. The nobles gasped, recoiling with looks of horror and disgust on their faces, but she was in too much pain to be embarrassed.

    “Nerr! You're bleeding!”

    “What? No...” The princess took a step forward, desperate to leave the massive room that now seemed much too small, pitching forward as the world tilted on it's axis. She did not hit the floor, falling into a pair of large strong arms. For a moment, her dizzy mind thought it was Gunther who held her, but a glance upward revealed blurry blonde curls.

    “Leo.” Xander's voice was far too loud now. “Send one of the servants to go fetch a midwife and have her come to my quarters.”

    “Right.” The younger prince nodded, and when Nerr blinked, he was gone. The arms that held her up moved behind her shoulders and under her knees, and she felt her feet leave the ground.

    “N-no... don't... the levee--”

    “Can wait. You are very unwell, Nerr.” She shook her head, struggling weakly against him even as he turned, walking towards the doors at the back of the room that lead to his chambers. She could see the papers she'd dropped in her periphery, drops of dark red stark against the cream pages. Her breathing quickened as she renewed her struggles.

    “No, I'm fine! I'm fine, there's nothing wrong!” There couldn't be anything wrong, not this time... Nerr was too caught up in her thoughts to notice her surroundings had changed, the barren empty space of the throne room now more occupied and comfortable. Xander walked her over to the massive bed, laying her down atop the deep maroon comforters. There was a similarly colored stain on the sleeve that had been under her knees as he carried her, but she barely noticed it. “No.... no no no no no...”

    “Shhh...” The blonde man sat beside her, brushing the hair back from her face and gently stroking her forehead. It was much less soothing this time. “Everything will be alright, little princess. The midwife is coming--”

    “Noooo!!” She moaned, tears stinging her eyes. “It's too early! Please, gods, no!” Xander cringed at the sound of her cries, but continued rubbing her head, trying to calm her. Several long minutes passed, her pain growing worse and worse, until the door opened once more. A hefty woman walked in, followed by two maids carrying sheets and a steaming bowl. Leo brought up the rear, his face flushed and hair in disarray, as though he had been running.

    “I've brought her, brother.” He gasped, stepping into the room. “How is--” He was cut off by a loud keen of anguish as Nerr writhed. It felt as though her insides were tearing up as blood continued soaking into her skirts. The midwife approached her, paying no mind to the king as she lifted the long dress up to her patient's hips and pressed down on her stomach. Shaking her head, she made a “tsk”ing sound, calling over one of the maids.

    “You there. Help me unlace her ladyship's dress. You and the prince had best leave the room, Your Majesty.” Xander mumbled something unintelligible as he nodded, heading towards the door where Leo still stood. Nerr reached out for him as he moved further away.

    “No! Xander, don't leave me!” She cried out, fear and pain making the room blur. A rough hand patted her arm, not unkindly.

    “You don't want men in here while you do this, princess. Stressful enough without them gawking.” Nerr was too upset to argue. She didn't care about gawking- she simply didn't want to be left alone with the strange hands unlacing her bodice and pulling the dark brocade down, until all she was left in was a thin chemise soaked with sweat and blood. The midwife reached between her legs, and she shuddered. “How far along are you, milady?”

    “Four months....” She whispered, unable to raise her voice any higher. It had seemed like such long time up until this very moment...

000

Nerr wasn't sure if hours or only minutes had passed as she lay in Xander's bed, caught in a state of flux between sleep and wakefulness. The midwife had long since left (or at least, it felt that way), and the maids had changed the sheets and blankets and brought her a clean shift to wear. She had watched in a state of numb shock as they took the bloody linens away to be washed. It seemed a miracle she had any blood left within her. The door opened, but she didn't notice it until the person had stepped inside and closed it back. For a moment, her gut clenched painfully, but upon noticing it was just Leo, she relaxed a bit. The young prince approached her slowly, as one might approach a dog they weren't to sure of.

    “Nerr? How are you, sister?” His voice was quiet, the kind of hushed whisper used when speaking at a funeral. It was appropriate. Nerr remained silent, her attention focused on the folds of the comforter. Leo stopped near the foot of the bed, a tome tucked under one arm, the other held behind his back as he usually kept both of them. Gunther stood like that- she always assumed it was a habit left over from his days in the army, but he told her it was because he didn't know what to do with his hands. She wondered if Leo knew what to do with his hands. She wondered where Gunther was. Was he still in Windmire? “I'm sorry, Nerr. I know my platitudes mean nothing, but it's all I can think to say...” Maybe he was at one of the stalls in the bazaar. He had taken up his old habit of coming back from the city with little trinkets, books and toys. “Nerr... I want to talk to you about... this. I know this is hardly the right time, but really, there isn't ever a right time.” Gifts for his no-more child. They could join the pile.

    “--ried so...”

    “What?” Leo blinked, taken aback by the sibilant whisper. He hadn't expected his sister to speak, so when she did, and so quietly, he didn't hear a word she said. Nerr was still staring at the blankets, a vacant stare that seemed to go on and on.

    “I tried so hard... I did everything right... I thought... this time...” The younger boy sighed deeply, pulling a chain away from the oak writing desk and placing it at her bedside, so he could face her as he sat.

    “This is the fourth time, sister--”

    “Sixth.”

    “...excuse me?” She gripped the comforter tightly, her knuckles popping, her nails itching as they grew thicker and sharper.

    “Six times. Twice... I didn't even realize I was pregnant until I saw the blood...” She had kept those instances to herself, letting her husband and her siblings believe she hadn't gotten pregnant yet. If they knew... the way Leo looked at her now wouldn't compare with the shame and disgust if they knew the extent of her failure.

    “Does... does Gunther know--”

    “No!” She snapped, her entire being going rigid. “And you can't ever, ever, ever tell him. He barely tolerates me now; he'll leave me if he finds out.”

    “Nerr, that's ridiculous and you know it...” Nerr wanted to slap the look of condescending sympathy off her brother's face. That was what everyone would say. That was what Gunther would say, and they would all be lying, lying to make her feel less worthless. Leo combed a hand through his hair, which was less mussed than it had been earlier, but still a far cry from the high standard he held himself to. “I've been reading, sister. About dragons. More specifically, the Ancient Ones.” She remained silent, waiting for him to continue. “Do you know why there are no more manaketes?”

    “They killed themselves off during the Great War.” Everyone knew that- it was ancient history. All that remained of them were their descendants, the royal families. To her surprise, Leo shook his head.

    “Even constant battles wouldn't be enough to drive an entire species to extinction, especially one that lives for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Nohr has been at war since the time of the Ancient Ones, we're ravaged by plague and famine relentlessly, and yet we've not gone extinct.” He brought up a very good point.

    “So... why then?” Leo met her eyes directly, and Nerr felt her stomach drop even before he spoke.

       “They were infertile. Our ancestors chronicled their lives with the dragons they fought for, and wrote that even though they took mates, decades, sometimes centuries would pass before they bore live offspring.” He held up the book for her to better see. It's leather cover was frayed and peeling, and many pages were askew, no longer bound to the spine. “Most never conceived, as far as the humans were aware. And those that did took ages, often with many failed attempts.” She clenched her jaw, his meaning clear but her mind deliberately slowing down. No, she didn't want to think about this.

    “Why are you telling me this, Leo?” Lowering the tome, his fingers twitched and tapped nervously on the cover. It seemed he had a hard time figuring out what to do with his hands, after all.

    “The draconic blood in your veins is much stronger than that of other royals. You're clearly a manakete. ...I can't help but think that this might not be a human problem you have, but a dragon problem.”

    “No. Your books are nonsense. I don't have a problem, I just have to try harder--”

    “Nerr, it's not just some fairy tale that was made up. We see it even now; it's almost impossible to find a breeding pair of Wyverns--”

    “So what?!” Nerr asked, her voice louder and more manic than she had wanted it to be. “Those are animals. I'm not some mindless mount. It's not a dragon problem, it's not a human problem. I'm just-- doing something wrong.”

    “Nerr--”

    “I don't have a problem! Nothing is wrong with me! Nothing's wrong, I just have to keep trying!”

    “...should I come back later?” Both royals turned their attention to the door, and Nerr felt her blood run cold. Gunther stood in the door frame, still wearing his traveling cloak, staring at the siblings with an inscrutable expression. Leo got to his feet at once.

    “No. of course not. Nerr and I were simply discussing... something.” Casting one last look at his sister, the prince left the room, in such a hurry that he didn't even wait for the former knight to move aside to let him pass. He watched the younger boy for a moment, before stepping into the room, shrugging off his cloak and folding it slowly.

    “Your brother told me you were in here...” He said, his tone even, but with an unnatural cadence. Nerr ground her teeth, feeling her gums start to itch. Tamping down the urge to transform was the same as tamping down her feeling, and often went hand in hand.

    “Close the door.” She whispered, afraid to speak any louder after her shouting match with Leo. Gunther held the handle as he pushed the heavy oak shut so that it didn't even make an audible click. Everyone tiptoed around her- it felt like they were afraid of waking a monster. She wished they were; fear would be so much more palatable than disappointment. He took Leo's vacant seat, reaching out to grasp her hand at once. His fingers were still chilled from the wind outside. The thought of him standing in the bazaar, looking through little clothes and soft shoes made her want to cry. Nerr shut her eyes, trying to swallow the tears that worked their way up her throat.

    “What happened, dearest? Did you fall, or...?” The way he trailed off was sickening. He was trying to give her an out, an excuse, a way to say “it wasn't really my fault”. She shook her head.

    “No. I lost it. I didn't fall, I didn't run into anything or eat anything or ride in a bumpy

carriage. It was there... and then it wasn't.” Her voice broke and she hated herself for it. How dare she, how dare she be sad, how dare she think her feeling mattered? She could feel Gunther's fingers trembling over hers, and just as quickly, he gripped her hand tighter.

    “It isn't your fault, Nerr. These things happen.” It's not your fault, Nerr, it's not your fault; these things happen. He'd been telling her that ad nauseam for almost two years, ever since the first time it wasn't her fault, and each time, that lie grew more transparent. She appreciated her beloved lying to her, she truly did. The way he masked his bitterness, his disappointment behind gentle words and smiles was kind, and that kindness made it easier for her to keep putting one foot in front of the other and endure each otherwise miserable day.

    “It is my fault...” She seethed through tightly clenched teeth. Her muscles were so tense they trembled quivered. A mounting pressure in her temples was making it hard to think.

    “Nerr, don't say such things.” Ever the dutiful, ideal husband, Gunther tried to distance her from her failure. He tried to push her back onto the pillows (gently, of course; everything he did since they'd wed was gentle, a far cry from the hard, strict mannerisms he used as her retainer), but she remained stiff and rigid, refusing to budge except to turn and face him.

    “It is my fault, Gunther. It's always my fault. But I can do better- I know I can!” She forced herself to smile, to believe her own lies, just like she had during the war. And she'd managed to bluff her way to victory then, so maybe it could work now too. “I-I was so close last time, remember? I just have to do everything I did then, but better!”

    “Nerr...”

    “We just have to-to try again. I just need another chance...!” She had moved her hand, lacing her fingers with Gunther's and squeezing his hand. She could feel the bones shifting beneath his skin as he winced, pulling his hand away for just a moment before clasping hers in both of his. He looked her deep in the eye, and she could see his moving, searching her face. For what? For a hint of the woman he'd thought he'd married, a woman who wasn't so troublesome?

    “Nerr... Dearest... I think it might be time to stop trying.” Deep in her heart, the princess had been expecting many different statements. I want a divorce or I don't love you... of all the horrible, devastating things she could have anticipated, somehow this was not one of them. She shook her head, not quite able to grasp the meaning of his words.

    “Wh-what do you mean? I know you're upset- I didn't mean now, in a few weeks maybe--”

    “This isn't good for you, Nerr.” Gunther cut her off, the unhappiness shrouding his face making him look even older than he was. “Every time... this happens, it takes you longer to get well again. I can't even fathom the heartache you feel. Putting you through this time and again is cruel--”

    “No, it's not!” She could not help raising her voice, the desperation in her tone grating her ears. “I want to do this! I promised I'd give you a family, and I will! It's just taking a little longer than I thought it would...” The pity held in those violet eyes brought bile rushing into her mouth, and as the knight leaned over to kiss her temple, rancor burned with the nausea.

    “You have given me a family, Nerr. You're my family, and you are all I could ever need. If you truly want children this badly, perhaps... we could adopt.” What.

    “What?”

    “Wars leave many orphans. A lack of common blood in no way precludes love; you of all people would know that.” His tone grew lighter, a tentative smile carving the lines around his lips and eyes deeper. Nerr stared at him, at a point focused near his eyes. Her lips moved but no words came out, the words in her mind crashing into each other and forming a jumble too difficult to untangle. “Nerr?” The tremulous anticipation in his eyes dimmed a bit the longer the young woman remained silent. She had stopped trying to speak, trying to clench her teeth so tightly it hurt, but unable to keep her jaw from quivering. “Darling?” The turmoil bubbling within her exploded, violently. Nerr shoved her once retainer away with such force that the chair was almost knocked over.

    “You're giving up on me!!” She shrieked in a rage, angry tears flowing from her eyes unabated. Clutching the spot where she'd struck him, Gunther looked absolutely appalled.

    “What!? No! Nothing could be further from the truth!”

    “Yes you are, admit it!! I'm not as good as your bitch first wife because she could give you children and I can't! You didn't have to try with her!! You didn't have to get your hopes up, only to have them dashed every time! I'm not as good as her; I'll never be as good as her!” Her fury was quickly starting to lose steam, leaving her with nothing but guilt and shame and misery. “I'm trying, but it's not enough- it's never enough! It's so easy for everyone else. Why isn't it easy for me!? Why can't I give you this!?”

The anguish that Nerr had been holding back for hours broke free of the dam she'd tried to erect. The poise and grace and refinement a royal was meant to display at all times was forgotten as she wailed, tears oozing through her fingers as she covered her face. It was no wonder Gunther didn't want to bother with her pathetic attempts at conceiving anymore. This was much closer to the the norm than a deviation from it. She'd never lashed out at him directly before, but he had far too much to deal with to not have his patience worn thin by days of her loathsome self-pity. Large, strong arms wrapped around her, engulfing her in warmth.

    “I don't need you to give me anything, Nerr. I don't want anything more from you.”

    “Because you don't think I can give it to you! Or you just don't care!” She struggled against his embrace, hitting and clawing at every inch of flesh she could reach in a frantic effort to get away. “Go away! If I'm not good enough for you anymore, then just go away!! You don't need me; you don't want my child, so leave!!”

She was giving him his out. If he was tired of her, bored with this silly, worthless little girl who was more trouble than she was worth, he could just walk away now and that would be it. It would be her fault (just like everything else was); her siblings wouldn't question it. Camilla and Xander would be overjoyed, everyone else would chalk it up to a silly child's flight of fancy. Everything would be easier if he left. ...easier for him, and that was all that matter to Nerr. Despite her anger, her misery, she would understand. She didn't want to have to deal with her either. The arms around her shoulders did not withdraw, the chest beside her face did not pull away. If anything, they grew more claustrophobic, tightening and coming closer as Gunther shifted, sitting on the duvet beside her, drawing her in to lean against him. She could hear his heart beating, faster than it's usual steady rhythm. He rubbed her arm, resting his chin atop her head.

    “I need you, Nerr. More than food, or water, or breath itself. And because of that, I fear for you. Every time this happens, I'm afraid. You almost died the first time. ...what will I do if there's no 'almost' the next?” She could feel his voice more than hear it, and that was probably for the best. She didn't want to hear that tight, shaky whisper. She wanted him to be angry, disgusted at the gall of her, daring to be so ungrateful when any sane man would've left her months ago. Why couldn't he just be a bastard this once so she didn't feel so overwhelmingly terrible? Nerr sobbed, burying her face into the rough wool of his tunic. She had sewn it herself, months ago, with every intention of making a smaller version soon after, but there had been no point. It hurt, so much more than she wanted to admit, so much more than she felt she had the right to hurt.

So, seven years ago when I was super into FEH, I drew seasonal Gunter/Nerr alts for all the (then) seasonal banners we had, and while I was recovering from covid during quarantine, and went back and did some special art for two (as in, the art that shows when specials are activated).

Like, holy shit the difference 3 years of actually drawing and not giving up all creative endeavors due to crippling depression makes.

Also

They're a duo unit now, a a green dragonstone cav and yes, Gunter rides Nerr's dragon form when they attack.