Not That Way - Tumblr Posts

Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.

so this picture of an ai combination of every serial killer into one person is currently going viral on twitter, despite the fact that it isn’t an ai combination of every serial killer into one person and is in fact just a picture of jerma with his shirt photoshopped to say ‘red sex’, im going insane

I Ship It (Carmilla drabble)

Laura burst into the room, cheeks bright red and breathing heavy.  Her hair whirled around her as she spun to slam the door shut.  Perry looked up from her text book and blinked at the sudden intrusion into her dorm before casting her eyes sideways to LaFontaine.  LaF’s response was a wide eyed pleading stare.  Sighing, Perry closed her text book and smiled at the younger student.  “Good evening Laura, how was your day?”  Her tone was bright, perky, and gave away none of her frustration at having her room invaded during study time.  Silas University was a great for learning how to pretend normal.

Laura whined, a high pitched distressed sound that reminded Perry of the time her cousin’s puppy had accidently gotten stuck under the couch.  Perry got up and gestured the shorter girl into sitting on LaF’s bed before fetching a glass of water.  The would-be reported downed the proffered water like it was wiskey with a quick flick of her head.  Perry sat beside the still silent LaF and nudged them in the side before nodding at their friend, a silent demand they do something.

LaF cleared their throat uncertainly.  “So… you sound… upset?”  

‘It’s a good thing they are so cute,’ Perry thought to herself with amusement, ‘because they were clueless with calming down distressed women.’

Laura nodded frantically and placed the chilled glass against her still flushed cheeks.  She drew in a deep breath and slowly released it.  “Yeah, sorry, about just barging in here.  I just really needed to get away and this was the first place I thought of that they wouldn’t follow me.”

Perry nodded gently and LaF nodded awkwardly.  LaF licked their lips while thinking of their next step.  They really weren’t the best at this but Perry’s adoring eyes made wading through this emotional mess totally worth it.  “So, uh, why did you need to get away?”

Laura twisted the blanket on LaF’s bed before starting.  “I was going over some homework with Danny, you know, in my room.”  The small brunette’s voice was fast and high.  “Carmilla was there, she was reading some book on her bed.  Then they got into it and-“ Laura cut herself off and her cheeks went so bright a red that Perry momentarily worried that the younger woman had given herself a heart attack.  The original high pitched hurt puppy whine made a sudden, thankfully short, comeback.  Perry got up, refilled Laura’s glass with more cold water, and handed it back to her.

LaF leaned over and patted Laura’s shoulder hesitantly, confused about both Laura’s issue and how they could help.  “Um, but don’t they, like, always fight?”

Laura blinked rapidly before nodding jerkily.  “Right, yes, they fight.  If Carmilla isn’t snarking at Danny, Danny’s snarking at Carmilla.”  Laura sighed.  “That’s not the problem, I’m used to it.  The problem,” Laura paused for dramatic effect and Perry momentarily wondered if they should be concerned about Laura’s issue with theatrics and addiction to filming, “the problem is that I, ship, Kigo.”

LaF blinked at their little friend.  She’d delivered her statement like she was revealing some dark and profound secret, not unlike her statement that she thought Carmilla was a vampire a few months ago.  “Uhhh… ok?”

Laura deflated like a balloon at the obvious lack of understanding.  “Nooo,” she whined.  “You don’t get it.  I ship Kigo.  I always have.”

LaF looked at Perry and shrugged helplessly.  Perry rolled her eyes and smiled.  “Sweety, Kigo is a perfectly fine ship to have.  I’m sure many young girls who are questioning their sexual understanding of themselves are drawn to the ship.  Even if they are enemies it’s easy to see that both Kim Possible and Shego care for each other.”  Perry ignored Laura’s slight flinch at her words.  “Plus, there is a ton of passion between those two arch enemies.”  This time Laura flinched and whined.  “What do you think is wrong with shipping Kigo?”

“Nothing,” Laura groaned.  “That’s not the problem.  The problem is that Carm printed off a whole list of popular red heads and has slowly been working her way down- has been calling Danny them.”  The small brunette said weakly.

Perry and LaF shared a ‘so what?’ look before shrugging their shoulders incomprehensibly at Laura.

Laura buried her head in her hands with a defeated groan and whispered, “Carm called Danny Kim Possible.”

LaF smirked.  Carmilla totally would, and it’s not like the name was inappropriate or wrong.  Danny was such an ‘anything is possible’ hero sort.  And if LaF knew Danny, which by this point they really should, Danny probably came back immediately with…  LaF’s jaw dropped.  “Danny called her-.”  LaF whispered with sudden understanding. 

Perry flicked her eyes between the two friends, still confused at what the big deal was.  Laura nodded in silence, her face solemn.  “Yes.”  Laura admitted.  “She sure did.”

LaF met their friend’s eyes seriously as they processed the true enormity of what had occurred.  A smile tugged at the corner of their lips.  Their body shook slightly with a stubbornly repressed laugh.  The smile tugged again, and again.  After a few seconds LaF couldn’t hold it in anymore and they burst into laughter, throwing their head back and clutching at their heaving torso.  “Bwhahahaha!”

Laura narrowed her eyes dangerously at her friend before grabbing a nearby pillow and hitting them over the head with it.  The sudden force caused LaFontaine to fall to the ground, interrupting their laughter for only a second.  Perry watched with concerned eyes as her roommate thrashed on the ground with their laughter.  “What?  I don’t understand what’s happening.  What did Danny call Carmilla and why does it matter?”

Laura threw the pillow at LaF’s chuckling form and pouted at Perry.  “Danny called Carm ‘Shego’ in response to Carm calling her ‘Kim Possible’.  Kigo was one of my first ships.  I’m practically hardwired to picture them, y’know, together.”

Perry tucks some of her curly hair behind her ear while thinking.  It feels like she’s trying to race through molasses even as a part of her is already jumping at the finish line.  “You mean, when some says Kim and Shego you immediately think about the two of them, together, as a couple?”

Laura captures her bottom lip in her teeth, eyes focused on Perry, and nods her head.  “Yes, together, as a couple, doing couply things.”

Perry nods back.  “Couply things.  Like holding hands at the movies or going on moonlit walks?”

“And ma…g o.. .n … ..d ..en …k...” Laura mumbles in response.

Perry scrunches her eyes together, aware that they had finally, finally reached the issue that had caused Laura to run into her and LaFontaine’s room with a red face and breathing heavily.  “What was that?”

Laura coughs sheepishly.  “I said, and making out on the bed then fucking.”

"Kinich!", you had immediately called out to him upon reaching his favourite resting area.

You knew which tree he favoured most, but instead his usual reciprocated call for you from above, or him jumping next to you, you weren't exactly expecting him to suddenly appear next to you upside down.

"Need something?"

Although it didn't show on his face, you can easily see the amused glint in his eyes at seeing your surprise expression. It seemed your Kinich was feeling a little playful today, and so were you actually. You were also actually very giddy today, eager to see him after being busy for most part of the day.

Your body moved before your own brain could properly register it, and maybe the lack of Ajaw's commentary was also the reason you weren't snapped out of your affectionate daze.

Gently cupping his cheek, you easily leaned forward. Pressing your lips softly against his. The kiss felt different, but in a good way. You like it a lot. Or maybe it's just because it's with Kinich. You love all types of kisses with him. All his affection. You just really love Kinich...

Pulling away, his cheeks now decorated in a pretty blush, it doesn't need a genius to know he was taken aback by your gesture. He didn't dislike it though, not at all. And if the way his eyes shifted from your eyes to your lips repeatedly says anything, it's safe to assume he wanted another.

"You're turning a little red there love, why not come down?", you teased lightly.

"One more"

"Huh?"

"One more kiss"

You couldn't help but laugh a bit, especially with how determined he looked to get another kiss from you. But you indulged him anyway, after all you like kissing him to begin with.

"There, now get down from there before you get lightheaded"

"It's just a little lightheadedness, I've been through worst", this time it's him who pulled you closer.

"Kinich?"

"Again..."

Seems like he really liked this new type of kiss...