Not Trying To Compete But .. U Have Never... Been Whete I Am. - Tumblr Posts

4 months ago

I feel so much grief for the girl I could've been. I feel so much gratitude for the girls my age who aren't where I am.

I wouldn't wish this or curse anyone with this. I swear.

So why do I allow myself to go through something I wouldn't want the next person to go through.

I will never say this feels good. I will never tell someone my drug of choice is "awesome and so cool" (if I do it's a JOKE I PROMISE YOU. I just need to laugh a little so I don't spiral completely into old habits. I Just pretend it's funny when it's really not,)

I will always tell someone the true reality before I make those type of jokes. just so they know it's not worth it.

I've made horrible, horrible embarrassing desperate choices out of convincing myself that I needed it when I only wanted it.

You don't want to know what the fuck has happened because I met the wrong person or ran into the wrong place. I ended up in the sewer (metaphorical) I ended up in my grave I ended up thinking the pleasure was pretty when it was only pain.

I can't complain, this is not a complaint post. If it feels like it ur not really understanding. Really the point is to try and divert anyone who wants to think that drugs r cool when they will only end up killing you physically and mentally. even sexually.

Wow I sound like such a fifth grader who's into D.A.R.E. or whatever but I am here ,I am where I am and if I could tell anyone who wants to try shit., I would sob and sob and sob and sob and do ANYTHING to make sure they never end up here.


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