Polonius - Tumblr Posts
"More matter with less art"
i have no idea how much sense this makes but i'm thinking about the difference between "brevity is the soul of wit" and "words, words, words."
as I have previously mentioned I am in charge of directing an excerpt from Hamlet’s Act III Scene II for a competition, specifically the Mousetrap play-within-a-play scene, and I’d like an outside opinion.
Up until now, I have been very adamant on doing the scene rather traditionally. There are a lot of moving parts (like ten actors, live music, etc) so I figured the simplest way was the best- keep everything just your general time-period accurate Shakespeare, don’t do anything too crazy. The contest is in 18 days, so I’m not left with a large amount of rehearsal time either. However, there is one thing I am considering adding that would defy this previous philosophy.
Should I give Polonius a comically large bucket of popcorn that he produces during the dumb show and proceeds to crunch on noisily during the rest of the scene? It would be the only modern/non-traditional prop in the scene, but I just feel like Polonius would be the kind of guy to bring a bucket and then just eat it obnoxiously loudly. ‘Give o’er the play’, he’d say with bulging cheeks and spilt bits because goodness knows for all his ‘respect for traditional values’ he’ll talk in the middle of a mouthful.
feeling righteous anger on behalf of Laertes again
like he’s kind of a jerk to Ophelia at the start. but he’s also sort of right. and siblings are just Like That. they’ve only had each other and Polonius for their whole lives and goodness knows how many times they’ve come to each other to talk about Polonius behind his back or to cry on each other’s shoulder. or the teasing or inside jokes or Laertes trying to be the one to empathise with Ophelia being the only woman in the family because lord knows Polonius won’t.
when Laertes warns Ophelia to stay away from Hamlet, he expects her to ignore his warning. He’s not entirely opposed to the idea truthfully- the prince does seem to like her well enough. It’s not like he couldn’t see it working out. But he’s also both overprotective and filled with the brotherly need to remind her of how much he himself can get away with, and he knows what men are like, so he tells her to keep her distance. She laughs, and says she will in a tone that suggests she very much won’t.
When he leaves for France, after the occasional scarce letter from his father about the prince’s state, Laertes expects the worst upon his return.
except he thinks the worst is that he’ll come back to his heartbroken sister, crying in her bedroom, and she’ll tell him that he was right, and he’ll tell her that all men are jerks and arrant knaves and they all suck. and he’ll offer her a tissue and maybe a lighthearted jest at their father or the prince or men again or something to improve her mood and she’ll laugh, and eventually she’ll be okay.
When he learns his father is dead, something inside him goes numb. He tries to remember what he and Ophelia used to complain about, but he can't think of anything. Polonius was all they had, after all. And for all his flaws, Laertes loved him.
When he learns his father was murdered, he swears he'll have the head of the monster that killed him.
And when he gets back to Elsinore, when he hears of the circumstances surrounding his father's death and sees the state of his sister, he burns with an anger he never knew he was capable of.
When his sister's funeral is disrupted by the prince himself, claiming to grieve, claiming to have lost more than Laertes could even comprehend, Laertes finds his hands around his throat before he can even fully realise what's happening. How DARE he? How dare he put an end to what little service the king would allow to put his sister to rest? How dare he claim he ever loved her when his actions put her in the grave? How dare he pretend to have lost when he could not possibly understand what he put Laertes through? What he put Ophelia through?
It's only natural that less than two days later, he finds himself at the other end of a poisoned blade. A dirty play, Laertes knows, to stab at your opponent before the round starts, but Laertes is so beyond any sense of fairness or mercy by now. The prince is dead within the half hour, his sister and father revenged, justice served.
What he doesn't expect is the prince to take the blade out of his hands and return the blow. And as he bleeds, Laertes realises the fate he's resigned himself to.
What he doesn't expect is the look in the prince's eyes after his mother falls, holding her as she dies. It's a terrified, vulnerable, pained expression, the likes of which he's never seen on the prince. The kinds of emotion he was beginning to doubt the prince was capable of, even. But Laertes can see in his face that, strangely enough, they only seem to scratch the surface of some melancholy that runs bone-deep.
And of all things, Laertes can't help himself but be struck with a sense of empathy for the villain. He remembers how he felt after the death of his father. He knows how it feels to live without a mother.
He thinks of the desperation he himself felt to find out who was at fault, and he thinks about Claudius. He thinks about how quick Claudius was to encourage his vengeful plans. He thinks about how Claudius had the opportunity to stop his own wife from drinking poison, but said nothing. He thinks about how the prince acted towards Claudius in the time before he left the country. He thinks about how the prince was then, grieving over the death of his father.
Something starts to make sense.
There's not a full hour between them. Maybe, in these last moments, he won't be the only one avenged.
Laertes calls out to Hamlet and warns him of his fate, revealing Claudius' plan. Within less than a minute, the king is dead.
There never was enough time to get a further explanation from either party, but in the little time they had left, some understanding was had. Perhaps it was Laertes' empathy. Perhaps it was his realisations. Perhaps it was the dwindling clock, and the idea that he'd see his father and sister again soon.
He'd talk it out with Hamlet then. For now, his and his father's death did not come upon him, nor his on himself.
something is rotten in the state of Denmark…
Art Credits:
elena-illustration, earl-grey-tea-of-gloucester , charleshyde , fruitjuucy , bananadramaaa , stripedroseandsketchpads , John Austen (pls tag me in art of this play so I can make more edits LOL)
Audio Credits:
DT’s Hamlet (2009) , DyEdits! on YT
hamlet: overthinking and doing nothing hasn’t been working for me. what can i do instead
hamlet: not thinking whatsoever and simply acting. surely this will yield results
polonius, muffled from behind an arras: now hang on a moment. this would be a really bad time to suddenly and violently change tactics. perhaps a middle ground between the two where you think out your actions but don’t let the fear of taking the wrong ones paralyse you entirely would serve you better than extreme action/inaction one way or the other?
hamlet, startled:
how now, a rat? dead for a ducat, dead
Polonius: You better change your attitude, young man, or I’ll have to talk to your parents!
Hamlet: If you figure out how to talk to my parents please tell me I have no idea
Polonius: My daughter keeps talking about 'Mitski'.
Polonius: Who is Mitski? Should I know them? I don't know them.
Polonius: And I know I'm gonna get made fun of because I'm an old geezer who doesn't know who Mitski is.
I’m bored so here’s how each hamlet character says “fuck” the most
Hamlet- “Fuck you”
Ophelia- “Fuck that”
Horatio- “Why the fuck-”
Laertes- “Fuck no”
Claudius- “Oh fuck”
Gertrude- “What the fuck”
Polonius- “Fuck is a bad word.”

Poster for my college’s upcoming production of Hamlet! :^)