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Wheretobuygoodurl - What's Up Fuckers - Tumblr Blog
One thing about me is that I will defend Romeo and Juliet until the day I die. “They weren’t in love—” the point is that they were never allowed to figure that out themselves because of the hateful society they lived in. They were kids who didn’t get to figure these things out because they died. “Romeo should have checked—” Juliet didn’t have a pulse. He didn’t know about the plan. “Juliet was dumb for taking the potion—” She was a 13 year old girl. That was the Friar’s fault, not hers. It was the fault of the adults who should have known better.
Ophelia (left) breaking up with Hamlet (right):
Hamlet after his soliloquy in act 2.2:
oh my god you're alive and on tumble.com
Isn’t that crazy??
hamlet: “my father—methinks i see my father—“
horatio: “where, my lord?”
hamlet: “in my mind's eye, horatio.”
horatio:
How Claudius saw Laertes when he tried to take over Denmark:
Hamlet: And I have a guacamole ball
Horatio: That is an avocado.
Hamlet: It was either this or med school. Horatio: You never told me you wanted to be a doctor. What were you gonna specialize in? Hamlet: Abortion.
Horatio: How do you cope? Hamlet: Well, I started off by writing dark poetry, and then worked my way up to hand-sewing perfect doll replicas of my tormentors, then placing each doll in a pentagramic circle before stabbing out their eyes in a ritualized fire ceremony. Ophelia: Wow, Hamlet. That’s kinda fucked up. Hamlet: It gets worse.
Shakespeare characters as random things in my notes app
Lady Macbeth: It was so cunt of him to die
Hamlet, talking about Claudius: He looks like his hairline got a restraining order from his forehead.
Also Hamlet: After I found out I had a silly little mental disorder, I was like, “what if I went to England?”
Mercutio, angrily: If I was a shark, I would eat Tybalt.
Hamlet, with an idea for a play: I say, “beef jerky.” The camera pans to you, saying “No! Please no!” Then it pans back over to me. I am beef jerky.
Hamlet, with another idea for a play: I’m gonna write a one-act comedy of The Last Supper. Yes, “Judas, you’ve been awfully quiet.”
Laertes, to the tune of Creep by Radiohead: 🎶 I’m a crêpe 🎶
More to come.
Horatio: wait but why did the pirates willingly bring you back here Hamlet:*flashback* Pirates: taking a crap on the establishment, we salute you
Hamlet every fucking day:
Gertrude: He's a murderer!
Hamlet: I prefer "reverse necromancer"
Claudius: YOU JUST KILLED POLONIUS.
Horatio: Hamlet and I were walking down the street and this guy honked at us.
Ophelia: And what did he do this time?
Horatio: He chased him to the next red light, reached into their car window and...
Hamlet: Who wants a steering wheel?
I’m bored so here’s how each hamlet character says “fuck” the most
Hamlet- “Fuck you”
Ophelia- “Fuck that”
Horatio- “Why the fuck-”
Laertes- “Fuck no”
Claudius- “Oh fuck”
Gertrude- “What the fuck”
Polonius- “Fuck is a bad word.”
Hamlet: Sometimes, I scare myself with my ambition.
Lady Macbeth: I have girlbossed my way into too many situations...
Dorian: I'm not like other guys. I'm morally gray.
Henry Clerval: Can I ask about the skull in your room?
Victor Frankenstein: Sure, which one?