Sae Itoshi X You - Tumblr Posts
— lost to time ft. sae itoshi
— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?
— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!
— first recording
“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”
sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.
-
— second recording
“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!
……
is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”
sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums.
everything passes.
— college; third recordings
“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”
sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself.
maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.
“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”
“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”
everything passes.
-
— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner
“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.
……
you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”
……
“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”
sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently?
sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.
yet the silence was too loud, even for him.
everything passes.
-
— graduation recordings
“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”
sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible.
he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.
everything passes.
-
— recordings from 2 years ago
“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”
……
“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”
……
“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”
……
“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”
everything passes.
-
— present
“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!
……
sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends. thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”
“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”
“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”
“nii-chan..”
sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.
how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?
sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.
“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile.
“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”
sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own.
“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”
standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end.
sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.
sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go.
and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.
everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.
© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.
words i want to say
synopsis: four times itoshi sae wanted to tell you he loved you, and the one time he finally did.
pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 1.6k | warnings: established relationship, fluff
notes: why hello! i'm back with this 4+1 prompt that i absolutely love, i wrote this in like an hour so this is definitely not proofread lol and istg i'm writing the kiss prompts so bear with me :((
masterlist
i.
it was a game like any other. at a certain point in his life, sae didn’t really felt a huge thrill by entering a stadium, already knowing he would win easily and beautifully destroy his enemies. this time, however, there was electricity dancing through his veins and prickling under his skin — and it was all because of you, who was sitting in the stands, wearing his jersey, for the first time.
and sure, he could swear such a thing did not affect him at all; he was the itoshi sae, after all, and anyone would die to wear his original jersey at one of his games.
but you weren’t just anyone. you were his partner of three months, and everything about your relationship was still fairly new, and for the first time in forever, sae really, really didn’t want to mess this up.
you were beautiful, sitting prettily in the special section of the crowd, reserved for family, partners and very rich people. sae could distinguish your smile from miles away, because it shined like nothing he had ever seen. he felt his heart beating faster, and it was not from all the running around the field.
as expected, his team won, with sae scoring a gorgeous final goal that made everyone jump in the stands. though, he didn’t care about the pats in the back from his teammates, the thumbs up from his coach or the shrilling screams of the crowd — all he could focus was on you, hugging his neck and beaming like the sun.
“you were amazing, sae!”
it was fucking early. he knew it.
but as he hugged you back and buried his nose in your hair, the words i love you flew through his mind.
ii.
“this is stupid.”
you giggled at his words. this sound always sounded more like a melody to sae, but he would rather die than admit that. instead, he just glared at you, sitting right beside him at a stupid photobooth.
“c’mon, baby, it’s gonna be fun!” you said, completely unaware of how the word baby did bad things to his heart. he wasn’t brave enough to call you pet names yet, but you were always more outgoing than he was.
“don’t wanna.”
“please?” you pouted, your eyes becoming googly like a puppy. he could only mouth a tsk, knowing he couldn’t say no to you even if he tried (he didn’t).
“fine. just do it already.”
you happily bent your body forward to click at the screen, starting the countdown for the pictures. then, returning to your place by his side, you lay your head on his shoulder and smiled for the first picture. sae did a simple peace sign, face still stoic as ever.
on the second pic, you waited until the last second to do fishy lips and cross your eyes, and that caused sae to snicker, which was fortunately caught by the camera. happy by that, you laced your arms around his neck, squishing your cheeks together in a cute pose for the third picture.
on the fourth and last one, you separated slightly, looking sae straight in the eyes with that sparkle that made his stomach churn.
you smiled, and he kind of stood there, dumbfounded, barely listening to the click of the photobooth. an i love you was the only thing he could hear.
iii.
seven months in and sae thought he had already seen all of you. despite his busy schedule, you saw each other quite frequently because of your flexible job, meaning you could travel along in his trips around the globe. he was used to your soothing presence and he loved every second of it.
but this — this was something that he wasn’t used to.
he hated to attend gala parties just to appease sponsors and snobby people, but he had agreed for the first time because you said you wanted to see how it was, and that it would be good for his career. you were always so thoughtful, and that never failed to make his chest fuzzy. but he did not expect to almost have a cardiac arrest seeing you all dressed up.
“do i look good?” you asked, bashful and uncertain. he wanted to scream. good wasn’t even close to what you were. you were perfect, divine, an angel on earth.
you were everything he needed.
“you look beautiful, baby,” he said, smiling ever so slightly in hopes of convincing you of the purest truth. his hands found home on your hips, and he gave you a little peck.
“thank you.” you smiled. “you look very handsome, too.”
then, you proceeded to fix his tie like it was already muscle memory, despite it being the first time either of you did this. you smiled again, sweetly, once you finished.
“all done. you’re good to go, mr. itoshi.”
the domesticity hit him like a truck. a lump formed in his throat, and it tasted a lot like i love you.
iv.
the beach was his favorite place in the world. being around the calmness of the sea always brought him peace, much like when he was with you. so combining both of his favorites was a bonus sae couldn’t deny.
the sand was warm and soft beneath his feet, and he sat on top of a towel, observing you standing nearer the ocean. the wind blew in your hair, and he could hear you laughing and squealing every time you tried to feed a seagull and they ran after you and your food.
“sae! help me, baby, they’re gonna kill me!”
“you can do it.”
“what if i can’t?!”
“i’ll cry at your funeral, don’t worry,” he answered simply, snorting when you gasped in pure offense.
when you finally got tired of running around, you sat next to him, panting a little. though you didn’t stay put for long — you never could. you grabbed a stick and started to draw on the sand, doing little shapes and words.
sae could only watch, mesmerized, as the orange hue casted a heavenly glow around your frame, almost like a halo. it complimented your skin perfectly, and he cursed himself for not having the guts to take a picture so that he could remember this moment forever. he wasn’t sappy, after all.
he casted his eyes down, only then realizing you drew the letters ILY inside a heart, looking at him with a fond gaze he didn’t deserve.
i love you, too, was what he wanted to say. but itoshi sae was never good with words, so his hand reached for yours and he gave it a little squeeze, before bringing your knuckles to his lips in a tender kiss. with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled, he knew you understood.
and he loved you even more for it.
v.
you worked a lot. despite your adjustable routine, you often had to bring your laptop everywhere, just in case your boss needed something more immediate. in sae's penthouse, it was no different, and that specific day happened to be one of those urgent matters.
sae was grumpy. he wanted your attention for a while, but he would never stoop so low as to ask for cuddles, so he just sat by your side on the couch with his arms crossed. you’d say he was pouting, but that was absurd. itoshi sae didn’t pout.
you were pretty, he thought, all focused and dedicated like that. you were like a painting that sae could spend a lifetime admiring, without ever getting tired. the slight furrow of your eyebrows, the curve of your nose, the crease of your mouth… oh, he got distracted. you were now facing him and saying something he didn’t catch.
“what was that?”
“i said, let’s go.”
he grimaced, confusion etched in his face. “where are we going? i thought you had urgent work.”
“to bed, baby. it’s your nap time, isn’t it? i can finish this later. i know you sleep better with me in your arms.”
you grinned in a smug kind of way, but sae could barely register anything besides the three magical words that were hammering inside his heart, coming up to his tongue until all he could do was say…
“i love you.”
fuck, he thought. now the cat is out of the bag. he fucking loves you.
your eyes widened slightly, as if you weren’t expecting such a declaration, but your expression softened and your hand came up to cup his jaw. your thumb did a small caress at his cheekbones, and sae felt goosebumps rising up his skin.
“i love you,” he said again, because now that the dam had broken, nothing could stop that phrase from flowing. “i love you so much.”
your smile could rival the sun and light up any darkness. he loved you like this. he loved you in all your ways.
“i love you, too,” you answered, all soft and giddy, and sae finally released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. “so much.”
his hand came to meet with yours, and he interlaced your fingers, standing up and pulling you along. you stumbled a bit, but he steadied you by gripping your waist, as if scared you would let go. his lips met yours almost urgently, but they were still soft nonetheless — because with you, sae knew to be soft, to be gentle. it’s what you deserved, after all.
when you parted, lips swollen and a little breathless, he showed you one of his rare smiles; the ones that always came easier when you were in the picture. you felt butterflies swirling in your stomach watching itoshi sae beam to you. because he loved you.
your fingers interlaced again, and he started to drag you towards the bedroom, ready for his 3pm nap.
“you’re right, by the way,” he confessed, and you looked at him, puzzled. “i do sleep better with you in my arms.”
© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
This is so interesting omg
Some things never change
———————————-
Sae Itoshi x Reader
Prompt: Sae and Reader who both meet at an Art Museum after seeing the other’s exact face in respective paintings from the 1600s? Fuck yeah. (Implied Reincarnation)
—————————————
‘Just what the hell am i doing here.’ Were the thoughts of a certain Itoshi.
Being dragged to an art museum by his teammates, Sae was less than happy as he bleakly looked around, that bored, unassuming expression on his face.
Art had never been something that had interested him. That was where football had taken its role.
Sae glanced at the paintings from time to time, before quickly shifting his attention else where. Nothing was catching his eye.
Until, his feet stopped moving.
The man didnt know why his body had seemingly moved- or well, paused on its own. And so, he looked up, fully taking in what he was looking at.
The large canvas of a beautiful person, in a medieval setting.
The painting wasn’t anything special, per-say. The same layout of a scene, littered with the ghosts of brush strokes.
And yet, even with its darker colours-only bright when shown on the figure, Sae almost couldn’t look away.
What exactly was transfixing him? He didnt know.
Though strangest of all, why did the figure in the painting seem familiar?
Their hair defined to the last strand, face holding a warm expression, and those eyes. The detail the artist had put into them- it made Sae’s own hurt from looking at the painting too long.
The man decided to step closer to take a look, checking the small information box next to the painting.
‘Huh’, he noticed.
S.I, were the initials of the artist.
No name, only the blanks of two letters to fill in the gaps of identification.
And too, a small message from the artist along with it. ‘Ray of Light, 1665. For my beloved, y/n.’
Sae decided to step back, a glimmer of interest in his teal eyes. Though, he decided to put it at the back of his mind for now.
When he walked off, he didnt realise how distracted he was until he nearly bumped into somebody.
Sae promptly apologised, not interested in sparing a second glance.
Until he did. That’s when he saw it.
You, the person who had nearly bumped into him, someone who bore a striking resemblance to the figure in the painting.
His eyes widened slightly at the connection. And you, were too having a similar realisation.
Unbeknownst to the Itoshi, there was a painting that you’d seen just down the hall that had caught your eye.
The painting of a man, who had definitely been painted in a good light. Rose-tinted hair, and emerald eyes that shone like sparks against his cheeks.
You’d been taken aback at the astute use of colours when it came to him, and fascinated at the lack thereof when looking at the surroundings in the painting- black and white.
The artist? Only a first name was written.
That being, y/n.
Along with the title, there was a small message left behind.
‘My Perspective, 1665. For my grumpy husband.’
Now, you stared at the very man from the painting before you, seemingly allured.
It seemed that, even paintings didnt fully show how beautiful the two of you were in the others eyes.
-cuddles!-
featured character ☆ itoshi sae
tag(s): fluff! ☆
divider @cafekitsune
apologies if this is out of character.
༊*·˚
No joke, period cramps hurt a lot. What's included in the monthly cycles are also mood swings, you're definitely ten times extra sensitive when it's that time of the month. Well today, you woke up quite late, maybe around eleven o'clock or so. Next to the wooden night stand, there's a white envelope. You take it and gently ripped off the cute little pink heart sticker on it. Then, you reached for the folded white piece of paper. The note read;
༊*·˚
Y/n, you probably woke up to see this note by the nightstand. Around this time I'm probably not home. I may come home around nine o'clock, do whatever you'd like for the whole day. As always, I love you.
-Sae
༊*·˚
You smiled reading the note and the "I love you" that Sae wrote down in black ink. After being fully awake (maybe lying in bed for an extra 10 minutes), you straightened the bed sheets and comforter then started feeling hungry and so, you headed down to the kitchen and made some breakfast. After eating some toast with avocado and eggs, you decided to take a shower and do some skin care. Finally, you just plop on the navy blue sofa and decided to just binge watch Tales of the Nine Tailed since it seemed interesting. You got your phone and scrolled on Twitter to see if there's anything new. Maybe after one or two episodes of Nine Tailed, you got sudden cramps. It felt extremely agonizing to the point where you thought you were on the verge of death. So now change of plans. For the entire day you're not going to be binge watching some k-drama but you're simply just going to wrap yourself in a blanket, tightly clench on your stomach while lying on the couch, play dead, and wait for Sae to come home.
༊*·˚ around 9 o'clock
You hear the keys jingling and the sound of a door opening and closing. "I'm home" Sae calls out but it was dead silent. "Saeee..." you whine. Sae heads over to the couch and sees you lying down, wrapped in a white fluffy blanket. You sniffled, there were dry tear stains on your cheeks and he could clearly see them, your eyes were also quite puffy and red. "Angel, what happened?" Sae looks at you, a very concerned look on his face. "Cramps..." you pout. Sae gently strokes your head then heads to the kitchen to warm up some milk and a hot water bottle. A few minutes later, he then proceeds to give you a mug with warm milk and a plush-like hot water bottle. "Thank you." you then take a sip of the warm milk from the light colored orange ceramic mug. "You're welcome. Is there anything else you'd like?" "Hug..." you looked away, feeling a little embarrassed. Sae then kisses you on the cheek and embraces you in his arms for a long long time. You nuzzle against his neck, much like a cat. "Is there anything you'd like to do or watch?" your face instantly glows up. "I want to watch Spirited Away with you!!" A smile appeared on Sae's face. "Of course."
About 50 minutes left, you fell asleep against Sae. Sae grabs the remote and turns off the TV, afraid that the sound and brightness would wake you up. This all ends when he whispers a "I love you" and slowly falling asleep next to you.
i have little info about sae's personality so i apologize if it's very out of character. but anyways, tysm for reading :3
-fuyuko
©fuyukohasnocreativity do not copy, repost, or translate. likes and reblogs are accepted and appreciated!
-cuddles!-
featured character ☆ itoshi sae
tag(s): fluff! ☆
divider @cafekitsune
apologies if this is out of character.
༊*·˚
No joke, period cramps hurt a lot. What's included in the monthly cycles are also mood swings, you're definitely ten times extra sensitive when it's that time of the month. Well today, you woke up quite late, maybe around eleven o'clock or so. Next to the wooden night stand, there's a white envelope. You take it and gently ripped off the cute little pink heart sticker on it. Then, you reached for the folded white piece of paper. The note read;
༊*·˚
Y/n, you probably woke up to see this note by the nightstand. Around this time I'm probably not home. I may come home around nine o'clock, do whatever you'd like for the whole day. As always, I love you.
-Sae
༊*·˚
You smiled reading the note and the "I love you" that Sae wrote down in black ink. After being fully awake (maybe lying in bed for an extra 10 minutes), you straightened the bed sheets and comforter then started feeling hungry and so, you headed down to the kitchen and made some breakfast. After eating some toast with avocado and eggs, you decided to take a shower and do some skin care. Finally, you just plop on the navy blue sofa and decided to just binge watch Tales of the Nine Tailed since it seemed interesting. You got your phone and scrolled on Twitter to see if there's anything new. Maybe after one or two episodes of Nine Tailed, you got sudden cramps. It felt extremely agonizing to the point where you thought you were on the verge of death. So now change of plans. For the entire day you're not going to be binge watching some k-drama but you're simply just going to wrap yourself in a blanket, tightly clench on your stomach while lying on the couch, play dead, and wait for Sae to come home.
༊*·˚ around 9 o'clock
You hear the keys jingling and the sound of a door opening and closing. "I'm home" Sae calls out but it was dead silent. "Saeee..." you whine. Sae heads over to the couch and sees you lying down, wrapped in a white fluffy blanket. You sniffled, there were dry tear stains on your cheeks and he could clearly see them, your eyes were also quite puffy and red. "Angel, what happened?" Sae looks at you, a very concerned look on his face. "Cramps..." you pout. Sae gently strokes your head then heads to the kitchen to warm up some milk and a hot water bottle. A few minutes later, he then proceeds to give you a mug with warm milk and a plush-like hot water bottle. "Thank you." you then take a sip of the warm milk from the light colored orange ceramic mug. "You're welcome. Is there anything else you'd like?" "Hug..." you looked away, feeling a little embarrassed. Sae then kisses you on the cheek and embraces you in his arms for a long long time. You nuzzle against his neck, much like a cat. "Is there anything you'd like to do or watch?" your face instantly glows up. "I want to watch Spirited Away with you!!" A smile appeared on Sae's face. "Of course."
About 50 minutes left, you fell asleep against Sae. Sae grabs the remote and turns off the TV, afraid that the sound and brightness would wake you up. This all ends when he whispers a "I love you" and slowly falling asleep next to you.
i have little info about sae's personality so i apologize if it's very out of character. but anyways, tysm for reading :3
-fuyuko
©fuyukohasnocreativity do not copy, repost, or translate. likes and reblogs are accepted and appreciated!
NO PROBLEM QUEEN💕💕💕💗💗💗
best sae angst FOR REAL (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ
valentines - sae itoshi x reader
yayyyyy I finished it, im free :3 im so freaking sleepy rn warnings: angst, very happy ending the chap before: one
2017
it's been years since you last saw sae.
those 3 years without the elder itoshi felt unfilled, missing it familiar spark. visiting the sea doesn't feel the same without the reddish-brown boy alongside with you. his endless grumbles about how luck keeps running the opposite direction and it's always loss in the in of his road were now just a remains echoing inside your head.
it's not that his face wasn't rememberable anymore, in fact, his face was glued on every bug screen around japan. under the name of the japan prodigy himself. however his face was blurry and those big-screens always do him unjustifiably. pictures were good, but sae grew. oh how you wished you could have grew together again.
you missed his actual face, when he would reveal his rare unseen smile to you. even when he didn't smile, there was something there, your grandma always said that his eyes would go soft under the mention of your name. when actual emotions were still swirling in his heartland. now you looking at his face, his slime teal eyes were so..bleary.. sae looked like he lost all his colours.
you wished you could embrace him, just like you used to when you two were kids after he flunked his math test and the first thing he does is let you hug him and play with his hair, sae told you that he would never let someone else do that to him yet the word shameless was unfound beside you.
but now you were helpless. thinking about the great distance itself between you two was crushing.
you kept writing, and sae promised to write back. at least he did at first, within the next months his letters and calls were fading, draining each day, they were getting awfully dry to the point you felt he was just saying anything to make shut you down. but in the end he stopped completely. no matter how much you texted or called they were never answered.
yet you kept on writing, even when he didn't reply. you sent him birthday cards on his, remained him of yours as well. however he never responded. you write and send, write and send, write and send damn letters nonstop. at some stage you didn't know where to send them anymore. they were never replied to, never seen nor read.
soon your texts became green. and it felt like a door was slammed on your face.
you felt desperate, like a dog waiting for it owner returned. and you could feel the pity glimpses in everyone's faces, in school, neighbourhood, sometimes even your own grandma, except that she held more sympathy with it.
perhaps, the younger itoshi was the only one who didn't change much. just like you, sae stopped his communication with him as well. but he handled it way better than you did, the letters 'big brother will come back, he's just busy' fell out rin's mouth every time he senses you unhidden soreness.
you should believe in what he says, it's literally his brother. his own flesh and blood, his family. yet you didn't ease up under his words, if anything it worried you even more. you felt it, the wave screaming back at you that something bad will happen, something that'll change everything forever.
and you knew you were right when opened the door revealing rin with tears running down his reddened cheeks.
2018
rin never told you what happened that tragic snowy night.
all you could remember was him shedding tears like there was no tomorrow, they were silent yet so painful that you felt sorry for the boy. you always took rin as an unbending person, he was like sae but much more chill and dare you say more friendly?
you warped a blanket around him when he slept in the guest room, you never pressured him. never pushed him, thinking about it now, you should probably have. because you woke up to that bed soothed back all clean and empty the next morning.
and it felt like rin last strike of humanity was left dead under your roof.
rin changed, and everything changed with him. maybe you didn't, perhaps you grew doleful, dejected. waiting was hard, pouring down your soul. it felt like the sky was telling you that you were waiting for nothing, but to be truthful, not only the sky was implying that.
you saw how the younger itoshi would look at you when he saw you writing letters to sae. he said nothing and stood silent, yet his eyes were pleading with you to stop, to give up on his brother before he curses you for good. however, you were already cursed by sae a long time ago.
even when he left for that project, deep inside. he wanted to say something, to speak up. the words were on the tip of his tongue yet he kept on opening his mouth and closing it like a lost fish. then rin left without a word, leaving you to face the truth by yourself.
you found it strange when every time you were present in the tv room, the first thing your grandmother dose is close the tv or change the channel. it was weird, you never remembered her being a big fan of national animals shows. she always liked the news which was what she kept avoiding for a while for some reason. her protection wouldn't last forever.
a secret kept swimming around you, just walking around in the hallways was enough for everyone to either laugh or look at you with such pity. even the teachers? what was going on, what kind of secret could it be to impair you this much?
you wished to stay curious, to stay lost in your little circle of agony but not to witness the man that planted dead hopes within you was now cutting your roots of holden on faith.
you saw a picture of sae kissing another girl, and you felt your soul getting toured up by him.
like the world itself was laughing at you naiveness, how stupid you were. you felt used, the wasted years you spent waiting on someone who didn't even care felt like a pure burning betrayal. you got that light message, sae was basically telling you to get off his back, you were no longer needed.
you meant nothing that anyone could possibly overshadow you. you got tossed aside, a dusty memory that was never worth holding in the first place.
you stopped writing letters after that day.
2021
"nice having you back in japan, genius boy."
aiku laughed, but the man ahead of him didn't even spare a smile at him. instead he found the glass of drink in front of him more interested. the black head let out a sigh, he guessed that sae isn't exactly a man of change, he needs to stop letting his hopes up for nothing.
it's an understatement to say that aiku was surprised that the elder itoshi would even acknowledge his invitation for a night out at what he called a fancy bar. hell, sae probably didn't even like wine in the first place. yet he was here, looking around with his boredom eyes that never opened fully.
"soo, you finally opened your heart for your dear home?." aiku asked, taking a sip of his own drink. through the transparent glass, he could see the slim teal eyes peeking at him.
"what's up with that interview question? don't say you invited me for this." sae spat out, the place was awfully packed despite it being the middle of the night. and he would lie if he said he wanted to spend another second here.
"haha, once a stiff always a stiff. thought i would get a thank you for getting you out of your forlorn shell for awhile. i mean, look at those chicks, you sure you don't wanna catch yourself a little fun? heard you were left out on valentines eve."
the elder itoshi frown a brow, "you think you're my wingman or some shit? don't get too high of yourself just 'cause i went out here with you." scoffing, the reddish head crossed his arms.
before aiku could get a chance to reply, a sultry voice called. "you boys would like a refill?" the suffocating smell of her perfume was pocking sae's nose, which made him hard grimace in disgust. while on the other hand, the shaggy head threw a sly smile at him for some reason, he better not do anything stupid.
"not me, hun. but my friend over there would definitely like to. right, sae?" he should've knew better. he knew this fucker was trying to set him up with some, it didn't even need a rethink when his glass wasn't even half way empty.
sae could feel a vine running through his head when the high heels sound was lifted to his side. his personal space was getting tackled when the woman bend over with her breath that reeked of unhidden smoke and alcohol was tickling his ear.
"Oh? you must be a new one. we got specials for those." she breath out, her hand running down sae's arm. he had to stop himself from getting defensive at her sharp nails stabbing him through the fabric of his clothes. "you can request anything you please, even these lewd things going on your head."
her flirting was on death ears, he didn't even take a glimpse at her. nudging that man was like trying to punch a wall. sae told himself to ignore and she'll get the message and leave him alone already.
"c'mon now, whatever little sweetheart you clinging onto doesn't have to know."
and that hits a nerve, "anything you say? than I request you to step the fuck back you good for nothing tart creature." as soon as these harsh words come out, a loud gasp was heard. and sae couldn't find it in himself to stop the next words of coming out. "I came here for someone, not some harlot woman wiggling over me. go throw yourself on some pimp maybe you'll find a purpose inside their pants or something."
soon, it turns into a crying mess. and sae remains stiff. the only reaction he could give was sipping on his drink, he saw aiku trying to stop the women from running before stroking the bridge of his nose is disbelief.
"what the hell man.. you could've just told her to leave you alone."
"I don't like pushy people."
he hears a scoff, then aiku swaying after the other woman. sae could feel the eyes of strangers staring him down, not that he cares, not even about that woman who he sent crying, she can collect what's left from her dignity, if there was any in the first place. he was too busy rethinking why did he speak those words.
and why did was your face the first thing to pop up his mind when he said that.
it's been years, and he couldn't believe that he agreed to aiku's request, yet he'll never admit that he wanted any reason to step here again. any reason to see you again, he never thought he still had it in his heart to miss you. to be eager for you, he found himself bubbling with excitement like a little kid again.
sae can't figure why are you suddenly so heavy on his mind, was it the years of pushing you to the corner of his mind was paying off? even the tiniest things were enough to makeshift you in a way. it felt like he couldn't escape you, you were in everything and everyone. in the side planted flowers, in the little kids laughs, in the bright colours of the sun.
he wondered if you still think of him, if you still hold on him after seven years of being absent in every way possible. you turned eighteen without him, you probably had much more friends by now, maybe even changed your haircut, he remembers you rambling about how your grandma wouldn't let you change the same haircut for years now. sae himself doesn't notice the smile forming on his lips.
"wash that sappy face off, doesn't suit you." a firm voice stated, he didn't even have to turn around and see when he knew this tone like the back of his hand. lo and behold, his younger brother standing there.
"rin."
"shitty brother."
rin walked up to the table, his hands deep in his pockets. standing in such a filthy place made shift disgustingly. not even trying to hide his displeasure staring at both his brother and whoever walks by like a walking foul trash bags. or maybe that's just his natural face.
he didn't take the obvious abandon seat, instead he stood like he just needed a minute before taking his leave. "didn't expect you to be back, though you called this place unworthy of your presence." said rin, his eyes doesn't held them loathing anymore. but still a hint of unbearableness was there, that'll take some time to wash away.
"i have my reasons." he simply replied, he was never releasing his feelings.
"plus, what the hell are you doing here? and don't lie to me when you look like seconds away from throwing up." sae question,
"you need to get a assertive manager next time." rin shrugged, he wasn't planning on lying. the guy almost shat himself at the sight of rin alone. maybe he should work in his face expression.
"well, I know you aren't here for a heartwarming family reunion. so spit it out already." rude as ever, but the younger itoshi learned to not raise his hopes too much when it came to his brother.
rin doesn't reply to that, instead he reaches for his black coat pocket. lifting out some designed letter, leaned it carefully over the table for him to take. so sae does, playing around with the object, he sided eye his brother.
"a wedding invitation." rin answered before he could question.
"yours?" he asked in disbelief, that was not a face of a man getting married.
his younger brother started at him like he grew another head, "no?" he almost gagged, narrowing his eyes.
"then i have no interest in wasting my time."
"just read it you damn slacker." rin demand, he did not come all the way here for his older brother to act like a spoiled brat. he swore he's gonna shove that letter down his throat if don't stop yapping.
finally sae let out a dramatic sigh before opening the letter, whatever name it was, it better be worth it. and part of him wished he never opened it.
because his eyes uncontrollably traveled to your name, not even that he read the start nor the beginning. he wished it was a mistake, maybe someone else's name and it was all pure coincidence. his eyelids flicker open, he read it once, twice, and the world felt like it stopped.
"..it's in two days by the way.. and stop looking at the letter like that, your gonna burn it." rin words went from ear to ear. but sae managed to catch something in the lines 'in two days'
"two days?.. why am i getting an invitation now?" words came out mindlessly, he wanted to ask more, who, how and when. his mind was on track. sae never wished for something to be a sick joke like now.
"are you serious? be grateful you were even in the list." nevertheless, rin didn't like his question. is that really what he asked? not even about you? however, his brother colourless face spoke more.
sae didn't reply, he looked at the letter in his hand like it was his worst enemy. rin wished his brother wasn't a damn block headed maybe then he'll get his fingers on what's running inside his mind. so rin takes his leave, letting his brother handle the news by himself.
"woah, man. that girl just wouldn't stop crying. I'm starting to believe you're truly heartless." aiku let out breathlessly, but he was met of a new face of sae, it was the first time he say any other expression on his face. especially something..this emotional..
"dude, you okay? looks like you've seen a ghost."
maybe even someone as cold as sae could carry a fragile heart.
2021 February 18
it felt like the universe was laughing at him.
fate was truly the cruelest, out of any other day. it had to day, the day that was meant for you and him, just fir another guy to snatch his place like a piece of candy. he wished it was him, he wished he didn't come here in the first place. yet he was, surrounded with unfamiliar faces chit chatting around.
sae regrets stepping in here, he wanted to leave. to runaway. he doesn't want to face it, to face you walking down with another man that is not him. but he wanted to see you so bad, why did this feel like this is his only chance to see you ever again?
he felt aimless, and the people talking wasn't helping him either.
"did you hear? they're gonna rent a house on a beach!"
"oh my, they're so lucky. wished mine would have the same mindset."
fucking kill him.
"you actually came? thought you'd leave like the spineless coward you are." the voice of rin was merciless. and most of all brutally honest.
"shut up. I don't wanna hear it." sae waved him off, he didn't wanna hear it. especially his little brother berating him senselessly. deep down, he knew he deserved it. he was the one that stepped over your heart when he promised to take care of it. maybe he is a coward.
after he followed after rin, which took to long for his liking, he had to complain. "fuck you taking me to?" he spat out.
"be patient, don't you wanna talk to them?"
that somehow shuts down any chance of any other objection, it felt like ages before they got to the meant room. and for some reason, sae doesn't enter yet, he doesn't find the guts to.
"why did you even invite me to this?"
"me? invite you? you wish." rin jeered, his brother was definitely not in the right mindset to think such thing. "they invited you, if anything i thought it was better not to."
"I didn't even think you'd come, looks like you still got something in that frigid heart of yours. but it's already too late to come over your fears."
a ghost smile form on sae's face, at his own stupidity, at rin's truthful manner. at himself,
"i know that."
he closed the door behind, and slowly walked into the room. his steps were heavy they kept on echoing through the walls. announcing to the world what he was doing. it was a miracle he didn't fumble his feet on the way, and more of a miracle when he didn't faint at how beautifully you shone.
you quickly stood up, the white dress mimicking your movements. he was right, you did change your hairstyle after all, and oh, how you good you made it look.
"sae? you actually came.." you exclaimed. examining him from head to toe, he did change, more like he grew. he wasn't the same height as you anymore, his bangs were long gone. and he refused to meet your eyes. looking at everything but your gaze.
"yeah." he pushed out his lips.
it was strange, seeing the one he promised to marry get married to another one. his first crush, first crush, his first heartbreak, the first heart he shattered. all the memories of childhood came like a rush wave of air, and what lingered was your face at the airport, the day you said goodbye. the day he heard you sniffing behind him, yet he didn't turn.
perhaps because he knew out everyone, he would've gave up everything just to not see you a tear run down your face. or it would be him crying with and be a couple of crying mess. yes you got him warped your finger like that.
sae only knew a world with you, and he knew his soul stayed with you the day he left.
"it's been a while,"
"seven years, it's been seven years." the male corrected
"i know." you giggle bitterly. he knew you knew. you both knew but none spoke or mentioned anything.
"how have you been?" he had now idea of what to say or ask of you, that was your fucking weeding of course you're happy. damn, even his younger self wasn't that clueless.
"I'm good. you?"
I'm missing you terribly.
"good."
"that's good.." you shifted awkwardly, like you wanted to hide from him. was he making you that uncomfortable?
"can i?" stretching out his arms slightly, he was ready for you reject it, to punch him, to scream at him. but you nodded instead.
you lean right on his chest, his hesitate arm on the small of your back. when was the last he hugged someone? it was much easier when you two were kids. it sure felt warm, your cologne taking over his senses. he just didn't feel like fits the puzzle anymore. and it fucking hurt.
it didn't last long sadly, taking yourself out of his embrace. he doesn't want to let go, if he let go, you'll disappear. despite that he looked into your eyes, and suddenly he doesn't feel only half alive. you still got him warped around your finger like that.
"i need to go, it was nice seeing you again, sae."
he could only nodded, every step he took away from you felt like the world was draining it colors again, the universe was punishing him, because seeing you not sparing a glance back was truly painful.
the evening felt timeless, it skips to where he sat looking heedlessly at the ground. he didn't want to meant anyone's face nor attention. he bet that his was gloomy enough to scare off anyone who walks by.
one's begs to differ.
"well, well. if that ain't a face I haven't seen in a long time." an elderly woman said, the same old sly smile still glued to her face. she takes a seat beside sae, fearlessly nudging him to look at her.
"it's you."
"it's me, that old granny you used to call a hag." your grandma said.
"That was one time, and you spanked me for it."
"i sure did, always been a badass." she laughed, and sae found the invisible beam draw in it way to her face.
"look at you, you grew to a fine young man." he hissed when she pinched his cheek, almost as if she meant for it to hurt. he had rub the spot with a grunt.
"despite that, it's sad to say you disappointed me, itoshi sae." she spoke in a straightforward manner. almost like she was scolding him. and when say nothing she continues.
"I would've given you another spank but my grandchild would be mad, they still cares for you. always been." the lady sighed, "they never gave up on you, four years is a real challenge. every day they kept on writing to you, did you perhaps read them."
"every singer night."
"but you didn't respond to a single one?"
he doesn't replay to that.
"don't prove me wrong again. that girl you put your mouth on, why?"
sae's hand travel down his neck, trying to find the right answer. as if there was one. "i wanted them to give up on me. i just felt pushing them and everyone away was the right thing."
"so you became a selfish bastard that kills everything he touches? i knew you were dumb but not that dumb." she shook her head, he had concerned her swinging her cane over his head.
"it doesn't matter, it was already done." lies sliding down his throat. and he knew even a strong face wasn't enough to hide the truth. she could see him bare.
"maybe if you weren't that stupid, you'd have managed to keep the only person that could handle you. but I'm never wrong so i guess you two did end up together in another lifetime."
"but i wanted them in this one."
"too bad, too late." it felt like a sucker punch, he wished for her to actually beat him with that cane at least it'd be less hurtful and heavy. again the urge to leave was strong. and it was getting stronger when that man stood there, and when you walked he couldn't take his eyes off, he couldn't even blink. you never looked so breathtaking. and there he knew that his place didn't get stolen, but earned by someone else. someone better than him. someone that could make you happy and wouldn't make you hold on to a forsaken promise.
yesterday it was him proposing to you with his dead grandparents ring, today it was another one warping it around your finger. the image will hunt him to his death.
the him that promised, the him who kisses you injures, the him who saw you in sunset above the sea. was still there, that version was still swirling within him somehow. and it only shon with your light only. the light that will never be his anymore.
to sae you'll forever be his everlasting one in the stars.
"goodbye." he hopped he chose you in another life.
lmao this is trash mb yall