Blue Lock Angst - Tumblr Posts

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

US, AGAIN .ೃ࿐

pairing. itoshi sae x gn!reader

genre. second chance (exes back to lovers!) | a bit of small town romance | a sprinkle of childhood friends to lovers (past) | angst with a happy ending 

content/warnings. 5.2k+ wc | characters are aged 25 in the present | pro-athlete!sae x coffee shop owner!reader | sae left for spain at 19 in here | mentions of sae’s vague past (especially the striker dream) | itoshi bros conflict never happened here let me be delusional | heavy in narration | minimal proofread

in which: itoshi sae returns to the only place on earth he vows to never set foot again.

💭 flashbacks are italicized and indented :>

Six years.

In those six long years of his absence, you couldn't deny that you rehearsed countless scenarios of encountering him upon his return. 

If by chance he still wanted to see you, or even look at you, you imagined giving him a small smile, a carefully crafted facade of composure, before gracefully walking away, as if life had moved on effortlessly for both of you.

That’s what you imagined. Just walk away, like how life went on for the both of you. 

But reality never seemed to align with your reveries. The sight of him wasn't remotely serene enough to prompt a composed exit. Seeing him made your throat tighten, and your heart danced in a rhythm only he could create.

Six damn years had passed since you last saw him on that balcony, and now, with him back in town, avoiding him seemed like the only right thing to do.

You don’t know how long he’ll be here, but it is now your life mission to avoid him at all cost. Today's encounter was just an unfortunate event—an inevitable twist of fate. Their house was literally right in front of your family's, making it hard to escape the nearness of the past.

“So, he’s back in town?” 

Hari's voice, your co-worker and now a dear friend, snapped you back from the reverie of yesterday's memories. The sound of her voice broke through the nostalgic haze, pulling you back to the present.

“What?”

“I asked if your childhood friend who is also a superstar slash professional athlete slash your only ex is back,” she mischievously asked, even miming quotation marks to emphasize each title she created.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head at her antics. Your gaze drifted to the freshly baked pastries, their delightful aroma greeting your senses like a warm embrace as you artfully displayed them on the shelves. The familiar scent of coffee and delightful confections used to calm you, but now it mingled with the storm of emotions inside.

“Yeah, it's basically the talk of the town. He's famous after all,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant and still focused on your work, using it as a shield to hide your vulnerability.

But in reality, the sight of him earlier had caught you off guard, and you had turned the other way to avoid him. Your heart was still racing from the almost encounter, and the comforting ambiance of your coffee shop provided little solace.

“Did he see you?”

“I pray to all saints that he didn’t,” you deadpanned, your facade of composure beginning to falter.

“What did he look like now?”

You hesitated, your mind flashing back to that fleeting glimpse of him earlier.

Far from what was once mine. “Good.”

“That’s it? Good?”

No. He looked gorgeous. He looked painfully gorgeous.

“What do you want me to say?” you countered, throwing a side glance to her persistence.

In that fleeting moment, you caught a glimpse of how much he had changed. He looked undeniably handsome, lean, and with a certain maturity that hadn't been there before.

He… looked different.

And that's good—for you and for him. It meant that life there treated him well, and it eased some of the lingering guilt you carried.

You and Hari fell into a consuming silence, your backs turned away from each other. Even with closed eyes, you sensed that she wanted to ask something. You didn't want to initiate the conversation, but this suffocating silence had to go.

As you stepped behind the counter, you were met with Hari's concerned eyes and a voice laden with hesitation. “What are you going to do then?” she carefully asked.

You pressed your lips together, momentarily at a loss for words.

So you did what you do best: mask hurting with laughter.

“Is there anything I should do?” you paused, the sound of your fake laughter ringing in your ears. “It's been years. We made a choice.”

But Hari wasn't ready to let the matter rest, and you don’t know how to tell her you’re close to calling it a day. “You made a choice for him,” she countered gently, her tone filled with empathy.

Stunned was an understatement. Caught off guard would be an apt description. But speechless was exactly how you felt.

That, you couldn't mask with anything.

So you did what you weren’t best at: admitting the truth.

“And I’ll do it again,” you whispered in return. It was faint, because it was more for you than more of a reply to her. 

You were both young, and half oblivious to what it would be like outside, where the world wasn’t painted in golden hues and the gentle waves were replaced by blaring cars.

You were both seventeen, young and living for the hope of it all.

But you lived for days like those – days where both of you just had to be kids still. No worries, no voices of what might come.

“Tell me about your dreams, Sae.” “Tch. You already know about it.”

You did. All of it, you knew. Since you were kids, no one knew him like you did. You were his lover and confidant. You knew about it, all too well and all too much.

“Come on!” you persisted, giving him an enthusiastic look. “The sky looks so pretty in this sunset, I want it to know about us.” The setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over the beach as you and Sae sat side by side in the sand. The sound of gentle waves caressed your ears, creating a serene backdrop for your beach date. He hesitated for a moment, looking out at the horizon. Then there it was, a glint of determination flashed in his usually reserved eyes. “To be the best striker in the world.” You couldn't help but be captivated by the sight. It was the first time you had seen such an unusual spark in his eyes. Sae's gaze was often cold and impersonal, but now it was as if stars were hanging in his eyes, reflecting the infinite possibilities of his dreams. Sae is handsome, mysteriously beautiful even. But this, nothing will beat how dreamy he looks when he speaks of his craft. You liked this look on him - so ambitious, so driven. It made your heart flutter with admiration. Seeing this glint in his eyes right now, you knew you wanted to do anything in your power to let it stay there.

And you did, you held on and held out. Until you turned nineteen, when you had let him go to the big cities where he rightfully belonged. 

You smiled, a genuine, heartwarming smile, and leaned in to press a tender kiss on his cheek. “I’m sure you will be the best.”

Maybe you bit off more than what you could chew, but in the end, you’d do it all over again. Because what you did, the choice you made – it was for the best.

You were both nineteen, young and eager to grasp the world's offerings with hopeful hands. 

But despite the certainty you tried to hold onto, there were nights when the memories tugged at your heartstrings like it did now. You knew it was the right choice, that you both needed to chase your dreams separately — especially his dreams. But it didn't erase the whispers of what-ifs that occasionally crept into your mind.

But life — life went on. Life never waits for anyone, anyway. And so, you worked diligently to craft a future that no longer had room for regrets.

But love leaves echoes, and his presence back in town stirred those dormant feelings. With him being in the same place, you felt like a stranger in your own town.

It was easier when he was thousands of miles away, an untouchable star on a different horizon. But now, with the universe conspiring to bring you close again, you couldn't help but feel like a wanderer in the galaxy of memories you built together.

After all, everything here in this town is about you and him. 

Six years.

Was it that long? He couldn’t really tell. Maybe time really does pass fast when your life is falling apart.

It has been six years since Sae has sat on the balcony of his childhood home. And like the sick bastard fate was, he’s welcomed by the sight of your horrified yet still so damn fucking beautiful face.

Perhaps the saints you prayed to didn’t hear any of your pleas, because despite calling out to each one, Sae saw you.

There you were, a flicker in the periphery of his vision, desperately trying to avoid him. He was trained to be very aware of his field of vision, so there was no way he wasn’t able to notice your frantic leaving and the hurried closing of your house’s door as you noticed him. 

He let you be, holding back the overwhelming desire to call out your name like he used to when both of you were running late to class. He let you be, because if you were to ask him, he wouldn’t know how to look you in the eye without a thousand words reflecting on his own. 

[Attention, everyone. This is the final boarding call for passengers of flight 924 to Madrid, Spain. Again, this is the final –] “Sae, you’re going to miss your flight. They’re not coming.” No. “They’re not coming, Sae. You have to get on the plane.” No. No. Shut up.

He needed you there, more than anyone. A thousand people could cheer and show up for Itoshi Sae, but his eyes will always search the crowd for just one — just yours.

Yet, alas, you were nowhere to be found. And so, that very same day, Sae vowed to never come back to this place.

He hated this town and you, he’s convinced.

Sae had always been indifferent to a lot of people, everyone knew that. But never in a hundred years would anyone who knew you both think you’d be on that list. And deep down, he didn’t want to believe it either – until that day you decided not to show up when you promised you would.

He wasn't stupid. He had an inkling of why you did what you did. Yet, irrationality overpowered reason, and all he wanted that day was to run the distance between the airport and your house – to see your face, to remind you that he had plans, plans for both of you.

When Sae’s manager informed him that he needed to come home for a while to renew his passport, it was as if all of his suppressed recollections of this place – of you, came pouring out to his soul all at once.

Every street, every corner, every memory — they all threatened to consume him. His family, Rin, this town, and you – you were all the things he left behind for the dream.

Dream. Best Striker in the world. What did it even mean? Long ago, he thought he knew.

But it had to work. Everything had to work. He lost you for this dream. And if he loses it too, then what does that make him? A sore failure. And Sae was never known to be admissible to failing.

Whatever hell he encountered on the other side of the world, he swore he would never return home. Even when he was traversing across a path to ruin of being the person he thought he would be, he would never ever choose to come home.

Anywhere, but here. Anywhere, but home.

So there he was, the renowned glorious prodigy of japan. He was close to everything after countless mishaps. 

He’s getting closer and closer to the new dream yet getting farther and farther away from home.

Home. What does it even mean? Lately, he doesn’t even know. 

And after that day, no one ever mentioned your name to him. No one in his new world knew about you. No one knew how Itoshi Sae's world used to revolve around someone's soft smiles and easy eyes. 

He never asked anyone not to mention you; he wasn't one to ask, after all. But for some reason, no one dared to. Not even Rin. It was as if one mention of you in his presence was a carefully crafted brick used to make his castles crumble to the ground.

He hated that, but maybe they were right. Because with just a second's worth of a glimpse of you from earlier, Sae indeed felt his castles crumbling, piece by piece.

He hates you, for making his resolve crumble. For being the one person who can make his vow to never look back fall apart.

He hates you, because everything in this forsaken place is about you and him. Memories of your shared youth are etched into the very walls and streets, haunting him like ghosts of a past he can't escape.

He hates you, for not trusting you two would work it out somehow, and for giving up before the game even began.

He hates you, because it was easier that way. Easier to pretend he didn't care, that you didn't matter, and that you were just another soul he knows a little too much of.

Sae could go on and on listing a hundred more, and yet he knows, only one of it was true – and that he hates you for making him convince himself that he does, just to cope with leaving half of his heart to the only place he vowed never to come back to.

It was a jinx to say that yesterday’s encounter was already an unfortunate event, because today, you literally learned a whole new degree of unfortunate and unlucky – by having Itoshi Sae as your first customer of the day. 

“Welcome! How may I help you toda— S-Sae.”

And to even top it off, today was Hari’s day off. It meant that you’re currently alone in the same confined four-cornered room with the person you swore you would avoid like it’s your life mission.

Damn it, Hari. Of all days. Her day off really had to be today.

Itoshi Sae, in the goddamn flesh, is standing in your place two meters away from you, yet you’re having a hard time feeling your feet on the ground and your heart beating so damn loud. 

He wasn’t looking at you (thank god), and had his eyes exploring the place with a neutral expression playing on his face. Suddenly, you feel like sixteen again back when he was looking at the first set of cookies you’ve ever baked and you were dying to hear what he thinks of your craft.

“It’s yours?”

You gulp. 

You gulped down the urge to tear up with how much his voice changed. You gulped down the urge to cry because he assumed you had your dream turn into reality too.

“Yeah,” you replied in whisper, your eyes following where he was looking, trying to avoid any chance it will meet his, “it’s not much but —”

“It’s beautiful.” Even before Sae could hear your meek comment of yourself, he cut you off.

You were always like that —downplaying your hard work, belittling yourself even before someone does. He hated that about you. 

He used to get mad at you for it, especially when someone made fun of you at school and you didn’t defend yourself. He always makes you cry whenever he points it out, so he stopped. Instead, he made it his role to rebuild your confidence. Sae wasn't known for being generous in compliments. It would probably take one hand to count all the instances that he genuinely called someone along the lines of not dumb, stupid, lukewarm. 

But it was never the case with you. With you, to say beautiful was always a second nature to Sae's tongue.

And he wasn’t lying though. Your coffee shop was really charmingly cozy, and so like you. It’s so much alike to what you used to tell him how you envisioned it would be. 

The coffee shop was a quaint haven nestled right at the edge of the sandy shore. Its exterior, adorned with weathered wooden panels and soft, warm hues, exuded a rustic charm that welcomed passersby with open arms. Sunlight spilled through large windows, casting gentle rays that danced upon the vintage, mosaic-tiled floor.

It’s beautiful, and it’s in front of our place. He wanted to say to you, but he stopped at beautiful not wanting to make things more awkward than it should.

The coffee shop, it’s right in front of the beach. It’s in front of that one spot you and him used to call ours. 

It’s the first thing he noticed before coming inside, and it made him wonder whether you knew or he’s the only one who remembers it even now.

Bashful, you uttered a silent thank you to his remark, “What would you like to order?” you followed up, trying to maintain composure despite your heart racing in your chest.

Noticing that he’s been too silent for someone who’s about to order something, you looked up to your menu, and immediately, you understood his silence. If one were to point out, it is too immediate for someone who’s almost strangers to each other.

“We have non-caffeinated drinks too,” you hurriedly said to him, your voice quivering slightly as you tried to break the spell of awkward silence.

He gulps, his eyes locked with yours in a moment that felt like eternity.

He can’t drink coffee, it ruins his body clock, and you knew that. You still know that.

It appears that he's not the only one who remembers, after all.

A thousand emotions danced in his eyes, each one a testament to the love that once blossomed between you. The coffee shop, once a quaint haven, now felt like a crucible of emotions, and the atmosphere was thick with unspoken words, heavy with the weight of what could have been.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you couldn't look away, despite the rush of memories and unspoken words flooding your mind. It was as if time had folded in on itself, and you were once again those young souls who found solace in each other's presence.

But this was different, much more complicated. The past was a turbulent sea, and even though you had both moved on with your lives, there was still a deep, lingering connection that couldn't be severed.

Yet, you knew better than to let those emotions take control. You made a choice, you have to stand by it.

You were no longer the naive teenagers who believed love could conquer all. Reality had taught you both harsh lessons, and the wounds of the past still lingered, threatening to reopen with each stolen glance.

“I’ll have your best seller of it then,” he finally broke the silence, his voice steady despite the tempest inside.

With a nod, you turned to prepare his order, your hands trying to steady themselves. You couldn't help but wonder if he noticed the tremor in your fingers or the way your heart seemed to echo in every beat.

As you handed him his drink, your fingertips brushed lightly against his hand, and for a brief moment, the world stood still.

He took the cup from you, and for a fleeting moment, you both lingered, almost as if neither of you wanted to let go. He could stay in this, playing pretend. Pretend none of it happened, pretend he never left, pretend it worked out in the end.

But he can’t, not when you stepped back first, breaking the contact between you and reminding him of the choice you made.

“Thank you,” he managed to say, his voice softer now, filled with a hint of something even he couldn't quite decipher.

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

And just like that, the moment passed, slipping through your fingers like sand. He turned to leave, and you watched him walk away, every step taking him farther from the life you once shared.

Perhaps, in some parallel universe, there existed a version of you who chose differently, who stayed intertwined with him in a tale of love that defied all odds. But here, in this reality, both of you were no longer who you used to be.

In this universe, you're just some two ghosts standing in the place of you and him, haunted by the memories of what once was while trying to remember what it feels to have a heartbeat.

After Sae’s visit yesterday, saying that you weren’t doing fine would be a gross understatement. 

Your emotions were all over the place, and you couldn't seem to find a stable ground for your thoughts. It didn't help when your parents casually mentioned that he was leaving town later today. Apparently, Mrs. Itoshi had a little gossip session with the neighbors, unknowingly revealing a piece of her oldest son's business.

He’s leaving, and that's good—for you and for him.

As you stood behind the counter of the coffee shop, you absentmindedly glanced out the window, your eyes drawn to the beach. The sight of the shore brought back a flood of memories.

Maybe in another life, the two of you could still dance along the sandy shore, playfully splashing water at each other. He would chase after you, catching hold of your waist as he sweeps you off your feet. And perhaps, just perhaps, you would have the chance to embrace him tightly once again, with your arms wrapped around his neck while you share a kiss as greedy and fiery as the sea’s yearning for the moon.

And maybe, in another life, your story wouldn’t end with both of you being strangers who know a little too much about each other.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the tears streaming down your cheeks until Hari whispered, “Y/N... you're crying.”

“Oh, I am,” you admitted, trying to regain your composure.

Your heart lurched as you tried to suppress the tears, but they kept flowing relentlessly. “Hari…” you whispered, shocked by your own emotional outpouring.

Hari's eyes reflected pity as she watched you, her voice soft and understanding. “Go,” she encouraged, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, “Get your man. I'll take care of everything here.”

The words hit you like a lifeline, a spark of hope igniting within you. You quickly removed your apron and grabbed your keys, determined to catch him before it was too late. 

But before you could dash out, Hari's voice echoed through the shop, loud and clear, “Go! Be happy! And for the love of god, no more sacrifices as a love language!”

With one last glance at her and your coffee shop, you rushed out the door.

The airport seemed like a maze of bustling strangers as you frantically searched for the departure gates. Every passing second felt like an eternity, the fear of missing him consuming you.

Desperation and determination fueled your steps as you approached the flight attendant, your voice trembling, “Flight to Spain — I need to know about the flight to Spain for today.”

The attendant looked at you with sympathy, “I'm sorry, but all flights to Spain have already left. The last one left twenty minutes ago.”

Your heart sank, but you couldn't give up that easily. “Can you check again? Please. I-I need to see him. Please.”

The attendant double-checked, but the outcome remained unchanged. 

Twenty damn minutes. You lost him in just that short amount of time.

Your heart shattered as you realized you had missed your chance. The desperation in your eyes was evident as you felt your world crumbling around you.

In the midst of the bustling airport, you allowed yourself to grieve for what could have been and for the chances you never took.

Six years ago, you were supposed to be here. And maybe if you did, you wouldn't find yourself six years after, wishing you did things differently.

The drive back felt like the longest journey of your life. 

The sinking sun painted the sky with hues of orange and pink as you approached the familiar place. As you got closer, you noticed that the shop was already closed, and you assumed Hari had taken care of everything. 

But what caught you off guard was the sight of Sae standing there, in front of your place, with a suitcase by his side, as if he were meant to be on a flight rather than standing there.

“You're here,” you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest as you got closer.

“I’m here.”

“Why didn't you leave?” you asked.

Because I’m done convincing myself that I hate you, Sae hesitated to say.  “Why did you go to the airport?” he countered instead, avoiding your question.

Because I’m done telling myself that I did the right thing. 

There were so many things you wanted to say, but the words were caught in your throat. You bit your lip, not ready to answer his question just yet.

Impatient and desperate, Sae took his chances to ask you the only question that mattered to him at this point, “Tell me you don't love me anymore. I will go. I will do as you please. I just need to hear it from you.”

Your eyes widened at his sudden question, but Sae wasn’t done yet. “Answer me. It’s a yes or no question.”

Lost in a whirlwind of emotions, you couldn't hold back the torrent of words that poured from your heart.

“A yes or no question, you say? Every night, I think of you.”

With each word, your voice wavered, and you couldn't help but express the worries that had plagued you during his absence.

“Were you eating properly? Does the food there suit your liking? You’re a bit picky. Is it too hot there? Were you taking your supplements? Were you being hard on yourself again? Is... is there someone new? There must be, right?”

As the words left your lips, you realized just how much you had been consumed by thoughts of him, wondering about every aspect of his life, even when he was miles away from you.

His reaction to you holding forth seemed to intensify at your last question, but right now, you weren’t ready to listen to him. He needs to listen to you.

“Every single night of the past six years, I yearned for you. I yearned to have you close. I yearned to hold your face just once more. And fuck, I would’ve traded all my tomorrows for just one yesterday with you.”

With those words, the floodgates of emotion burst open, and tears streamed down your cheeks. 

Fuck, six years. For six years, you held on and held out. Would it have been easier if both of you had tried, and along the way, lost? Would it have alleviated the pain of what-ifs and what could have been's if you had bargained, if you had gambled? Or would it all have led you right back to this moment, grappling with the same heartache and uncertainty?

Finally, meeting his eyes, you saw a reflection of your own emotions in his. But you weren’t done yet.

“And you dare ask me if I love you. Well, does that answer your fucking question, Itoshi?”

“Then, don’t cross it out. Don’t ever cross it out again.”

Cross what…out?

“I saw your letter,” Sae admitted, causing a momentary confusion to wash over you. 

My letter… Bewildered, you couldn't form the right words, and he took it as a sign to continue, and to close the distance between you to hold your hands.

“Tell me, how could I leave after reading that, knowing the only soul who truly knew me was here? You own me, Y/N.”

“I told you countless times before, you own me,” Sae reaffirmed, his grip on your hand tightening as he drew it closer to his lips, planting tender kisses upon your skin. 

“There was no one,” he continued, his words carrying a sense of reassurance. “And there's no other warmth comparable to yours that I'd ever let myself bask in. And if there's any, I'd be only fooling myself, pretending it was you instead.”

Sae's voice grew softer, yet resolute. “You own me, even when I'm on the other side of the world. You own me, Y/N. Even in the distance that separated us, even in the years that you claim I'm not."

He stepped closer, his eyes locked with yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. “No place can ever own me as much as you do. So, don't ever cross your I love you's to me. I want them – all. I don't want your sorry's.”

“But I’m sorry,” you whispered, for the last time. But Sae gently wiped away your tears.

“It's ‘I love you’ from now on.”

For a moment, you both stayed like that, trying to make up for the lost time. Sae, much like you, dreamed of the day he gets to hold you close once again. He dreamed of a day he gets to watch the sunset from the reflection of your eyes again.

Sae could go on and on listing a hundred more reasons why he shouldn't be standing here, and yet he knew, only one of it was true – and that he hated himself for convincing himself that he shouldn't be here – to you, in his hometown.

Sae may have vowed to never come back to this place, but it was always a lie, because for all he knew, it's the only place he truly belonged. Half of his heart was left here, with you.

“Come on,” Sae said, and you followed him, curiosity in your eyes.

“Where are we going?”

“There,” Sae pointed to the beach, your spot, specifically. “To our place. The sky looks pretty, and I want it to know about us, again.”

“Us... again?” you asked hesitantly.

“If you would take me back.” Sae answered, a hint of fear in his eyes, afraid that he might be assuming this second chance for the two of you.

You took his hand in response, and squeezed it three times. “I want nothing more than to be with you, again.”

Without any more words, Sae gently cupped your cheeks, his touch sending shivers down your spine. The touch of his fingers was both familiar and new.

In the fading light of the day, his eyes bore into yours with an intensity that made your heart race. The anticipation hung heavy in the air as you leaned closer to each other, your breath hitched as his warm breath mingled with yours.

His lips were soft against yours, and as they moved with a tenderness that mirrored the way he held you, it was as if he was trying to convey everything he had ever wanted to say to you in that one, passionate moment.

The kiss deepened, and you could feel the intensity of his emotions pouring into it. It was a kiss that spoke of all the words left unsaid, of all the nights spent missing each other, and of all the dreams of a future together.

Feeling the tears streaming down your cheeks, Sae pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. And in that moment, he knew that he was exactly where he was meant to be – here.

To you, in his hometown. 

💭 thank you for the request saetorinrin! (i owe you a lot for your patience i guess..)

note. hi. if you’ve been here before, you might know that i hate this trope with a burning passion, i just can’t write it for the life of me. i started this in may (and only had the guts to finish it this month lmao), i was so tempted to delete everything and start from scratch (for the nth time) but i think i owe it to myself to retain most of what i wrote when i was stranded on an island xd this isn’t my best, that, i know for sure. but i hope you’ll still like it ! 

💌 if you reached this part, and you want to know about reader’s letter that sae’s was referencing, here it is. you may or may not read this, it won’t really matter. but if you want to, click until the end :>

💭 back to: milestone event

guys you're so funny

forever

pairing: mikage reo x gn reader content: fluff to angst wc: 0.9k event: @https-true-egoist's 'love me not' valentines collab

You woke up to darkness. Various thoughts scrambled around in your head. They were in a rush, as if they'd woken up late, and they kept bumping into each other in the process.

When they finally came together, they reminded you of the delightful day you'd had yesterday.

You sprang up in excitement, then immediately laid back down, your giddiness and racing heart making you dizzy.

You shot Reo a quick good morning text, telling him you'd be opening his gifts soon.

Throughout your relationship, Reo had shown he was the type of partner to go all out. From buying you presents, cooking for you, helping you clean, and consoling you when you felt down; he'd been there for you in every way he could. He promised he would forever.

You didn't believe him at first. Nothing lasts forever. Maybe you'd be together for a long, long time, but forever? It was incomprehensible, like infinity. How could he promise you something that couldn't be understood?

But Reo turned it into something you could grasp. Like your favourite teacher would, he explained it at a pace suited for you, paying attention to your reactions and slowing down when he thought you needed some time to process.

'forever'

You started to see it as a beautiful concept. You even began to believe you and Reo would last that long, however long it may be.

It seemed everything he did only solidified that belief.

Yesterday, for Valentine's Day, Reo had snuck into your apartment to make you breakfast. He cooked up your favourite dish and served you with a dazzling smile, telling you to get ready for a day you'd never forget.

He drove you around town, calling it a drive down memory lane. You went from place to place, reminiscing and gathering memorabilia of previous dates. He'd put all the gifts in a woven basket and asked you to open it the next day.

Your favourite gift was the teddy bear. Reo had insisted it be the opposite of the one you two had made together—green instead of red, with a matching bow tie around its neck.

A warmth spread from your chest at the sight of the gift basket, covered in translucent pink plastic and decorated with hearts and ribbons. You grabbed it and sat down, plastic crinkling as you pulled it off, allowing a card to fall to the floor. A flap on its back piqued your interest.

"Goodbye," written in a beautiful calligraphic script.

Goodbye?

A nervous laugh slipped past your lips. What did he mean by 'goodbye'?

As you stared at the word, your confusion slowly melted into an uncomfortable panicky feeling.

You turned over the card, scanning over the "Happy Valentine's Day" on the cover and Reo's scrunched-up script inside. He'd tried to fit a lot within two pages, and it all seemed like compliments.

The goodbye must've been a joke, you convinced yourself.

You took a deep breath and started slowly reading from the beginning. Reo had written about his favourite memories with you, the habits you had that made him smile, the times you'd taken care of him when he hadn't been well and that he appreciated everything you did for him.

As you neared the end of the card, you let out a sigh of relief. Yeah, the goodbye must've been a joke.

Your mind half-soothed, you read through the rest. But as you came upon the last few lines, your heart dropped.

I'm sorry.

I loved you.

And on the back, hidden behind the flap you'd opened too early, goodbye.

How long? was the first question to pop into your head. How long had he been pretending? He loved you, past tense.

He'd loved you and he'd left you.

He'd left you with so many gifts to remind you of him. Did he realise how much that would hurt? Did he realise he was stabbing you in the back, then twisting the knife?

Your mind and your heart raced, jostling with each other, trying to figure out what you were feeling, trying to figure out some sort of logic to your situation.

You grabbed for your phone, wanting to text Reo, though you had no idea what you would say. With shaky hands, you typed out a message asking if you could talk.

Message not delivered

Your stomach churned.

Exiting your texts only made you feel worse.

Reo stared back at you from your home screen, wearing a sweater you'd gifted him. It looked great on him, but the word scrawled across the front dug claws into your heart.

'forever'

Where had those promises gone? What did Reo suddenly not like anymore? He was the one who'd made those promises. He was the one who'd worked so hard to have you believe him.

Tears rolled down your cheeks onto your phone screen. You had to fight the urge to throw the damn thing to the floor.

Reo's laugh mocked you, the word on his sweater making it all the more painful. They taunted you together, first from your screen and later that evening, when your tears had slowed.

A package arrived at your door. It contained everything you'd left at Reo's place, with the sweater placed on top.

'forever'

It meant nothing to you.

a/n: happy valentine's day!

the boy you loved (sae i.) !

features: sae i.

contents: angst. hurt no comfort. mild swearing. toxic realtionship. nostalgia. reader flinches. door slam. breakup. it hurts sorry lol. 1.8k words.

to the world, sae itoshi was a catch. he is a pro athlete, beautiful, and rich, everything someone could ever want in a partner. sae itoshi is at the pinnacle of his sport at the age of eighteen years old. he was at the forefront of it for longer.

fame has changed sae itoshi.

you knew sae itoshi before the world did. you knew him before the flashing cameras and cheering crowds, back when he couldn’t even kick a soccer ball without falling flat on his ass. sae itoshi was awkward, dorky, and kind. sae itoshi was the boy you loved.

it all began to change when he slowly climbed the ranks of soccer. his goofy grins became more mellowed, shyness turning to aversion. but most of all, he was no longer kind. sae itoshi was no longer the sweet boy who would hold your hand as you walked to school. sae itoshi was no longer to considerate boy that made sure to have your favorite snacks at his home. sae itoshi was no longer the tender-hearted boy who you fell in love with.

sae itoshi is now a man who’s as foreign to you as a stranger.

yet, for some reason, you can’t seem to let him slip through your fingers. nor can he let you slip from his. in a never ending cycle one always ends up crawling back to the other. like some twisted kind of soulmates you can never escape each other.

you loved sae itoshi the boy, but sae itoshi the man is a whole other story.

loving the man, sae itoshi, is many things, but it is not easy.

loving sae itoshi is tiring.

sitting up on the couch of his apartment for the nth night in a row, waiting and watching the door like a dog for him to come home. 

sae was incredibly dedicated to his sport, staying till the sun died. he just wanted one thing when he came home: to see you. the first thing he wanted to see when he got home was you. the notion had your head spinning and heart pounding when he so boldly proclaimed it.

but now, when you sit on the couch like a wilted flower, you begin to question just how flattering it was. your eyes ached from keeping them open for so long, the soft glow of the lamps beginning to slowly drive you insane.

this empty apartment is exhausting. but you couldn’t blame him. his schedule is bound to be busy, he is a professional athlete, after all.

the lock clicks as your head raises from the phone in your hands. he walks in and looks at you, before immediately walking away. your heart cracks a little more every time this happens.

he is a ritualistic man, it seemed saying “hi” or “missed ya” would throw it off too much.

so, you stand and walk to the bedroom, tucking yourself under the covers while the gentle flow of the shower lulls you to sleep.

you feel the bed slightly dip sometime later into the night, but the wave of sleep sweeps you back under the surface immediately after. what you do not feel: is warmth or an arm around you.

loving sae itoshi is stressful.

sae leaves for long periods of time consistently. you accept that he cannot always be home, but you ask that he at least texts you moderately.

sae has a habit of ghosting people when he’s away, then just coming back like he’s greater than thou. not like it’s the first time it’s happening.

he’s been gone for two weeks now and hasn’t said a single thing to you. no texts, no calls, nothing. you were worried. you trusted him, it’s not that. he’s just so far away, what if something happened and the last thing he said to you was “bye,” when he left the home for the airport two weeks ago.

you don’t want to think like this, but this new sae was brash in a way that would get him hurt one day. he spoke his mind with no sense of self-preservation, he had no idea of customs in other countries, and he wouldn’t take one damn minute to text you a single word.

so you call rin, asking him with a quiver in your voice if he’s heard from sae. he hasn’t. but can’t help the choked whine that slams in your chest, quickly thanking him and hanging up. your eyes begin to well tears as you pace the empty apartment that seems a lot more foreboding than exhausting now.

crystalline drops run over your face as you desperately try to calm yourself, you were being dramatic. sae always was there to hold you when you cried as a kid, but now you were crying alone because of that same sweet boy.

you fall asleep on the couch that night, not able to bear the vast emptiness of the bed that was meant to be shared.

loving sae itoshi is slamming doors.

sae was back soon enough, walking into the apartment as if nothing had happened. he watched as you remained seated, not rising to excitedly greet him like your normally would. his brow furrowed as he left it, leaving you on the couch again when he returned home to unpack.

sae itoshi would rather let a problem steep and fester than deal with it directly. the boy you loved would stutter out of concernwith the most adorable flush on his rounded cheeks. but this man was a shell of the boy who loved you, the boy who still holds your one and only heart.

“what’s up with you?” his words come out abrasive as he stands in the bedroom doorway, one hand idly towel-drying his hair while the other was poised against his hip. he had a way of making it feel like you were the problem.

“what’s up with me?! sae you ghosted me for nearly three weeks, do you know how worried i was?” your own voice punches out of your chest before you can bite your tongue to hold back the words. watching as his eyes widen and he gets that haughty look on his face, you hated that look, that sneer.

he spoke with a venom, green eyes drilling into your form. “i’m a grown man, you don’t need to fuss over me. get over it, we’re not snot-nosed brats anymore, y/n.” you felt yourself flinch back as he ended his sentence with a punctuated scoff. he turned and shut the door a little louder than needed, you flinched back as it slammed: slightly shaking on its hinges.

now that he was gone, the tears flowed free again. you really were still a snot-nosed brat, weren’t you? the thought was mocking as the vast apartment began to feel more and more like a cage.

you fell asleep on the couch with dried rivers of tears shed staining your cheeks, nose rubbed raw from incessantly wiping it on your sleeve.

loving sae itoshi is nostalgic.

sae isn’t all bad nowadays. sometimes you could see the sweet boy that put bandaids on your scraped knees peek through.

in the light of the early morning, his eyes are bright and the soft glow makes his face feel more soft. it reminds you of waking up from sleepovers at the itoshi house, sae’s sleepy face and his messy bed hair.

when he plays football you are reminded of the boy who couldn’t shoot without falling flat on his face. you remember kissing the tip of his reddened nose while wiping the tears that threaten to escape from the corners of his sea-glassy eyes.

when he’s eating his dinner, you see the boy who stuffed his face with puffy cheeks. you see the boy who shoveled food into his mouth after practice, insisting that he needed to grow.

sae itoshi was still the boy you fell in love with, he was just a little lost.

times like this forced you to acknowledge that it was not actually his past self shining through. rather, it was you so desperately looking for any semblance of a shred of the boy who you once loved.

sae itoshi is no longer the boy you fell in love with, that boy died when he went to spain.

loving sae itoshi is hard.

this decision wasn’t easy. everytime the thought even crossed your mind you felt your eyes sting and your nose run hot. 

but the truth was inevitable and unforgiving. passing moments of joy could no longer help alleviate the aching pain that echoed in the deepest expanses of your soul.

sae itoshi was no longer the boy who you fell in love with, it was the inevitable truth.

you didn’t believe that sae loved you any longer, rather coexisting with you as stability.

you don’t ever want to be a roommate to your partner.

you needed to break up with sae itoshi, to let go of the boy who was so long gone. 

for once in your life, the apartment did not feel so bad. it felt like being in your childhood home for the last time before going off to college.

sae was off today, you planned it so he would be, not wanting to spring it one him before or after practice.

“sae, we need to talk."

sae knew he had messed up when he heard those words come from your mouth. but the safety net of your unconditional love had spoiled him. so he did not expect for you to leave.

when you said you were leaving, it began to wear. but it was still there, so he expected that you would be coming back soon.

when weeks turned to months with nothing but occasional passing conversations, he began to sweat.

sae itoshi, the ultimate catch, had just lost the love of his life.

the net snapped as he was left falling, plunging into an endless regret. sae itoshi was reminded of every single time he had given you the cold shoulder. every single time he was ruder than necessary. every single time he had forgotten he loved you.

sae itoshi knew he was no longer the boy you loved. but you are still the kid that he fell in love with, the only one who captured his heart.

and he pushed you away.

and damn, it hurt like hell when his apartment began to feel eerily empty without you, a bed meant to be shared becoming cold without another body in it.

sae itoshi realized how you had felt the entire time.

okkotsuus 23

Thinking about Bachira Meguru assuming he's unlovable.

Being called a monster for their whole childhood really makes a mark on a person's life and self-esteem. But for Bachira, they were unavoidable.

At first, he tried to ignore the mean comments and pretend he didn't hear them. Maybe that would make the loneliness go away. Maybe it would make the problems disappear.

"He's a freak!"

"Eww, don't get too close to Bachira! You'll get lice!!"

"He's stinky"

He heard the whispers. He just used to pretend he didn't. For both his and the children's sake. So he could pretend he was normal. At least for a while.

And, sometimes, even parents, grown-ass adults, called him weird. Shouldn't they set an example for their kids? They tell them: "Don't judge other people! You never know what they're going through!", but are always the first to talk shit about someone, even if said someone is a little kid.

"Poor kid. It's probably the parents fault."

"He says sees a 'monster'! He's probably schizophrenic."

"My son is afraid of him. Specially when he's playing soccer. He said he's very scary"

He tried to ignore them. He really did. He tried to smile through it all and treat people the same way he always had nevertheless: with respect. Because crying would make his problems real. He didn't want them to be real. And he was doing a good job at it! But one faithful day, he snapped. The final nail in the coffin.

"When I grow up, I want to be a football player, just like Zico!" 11 year old Bachira said, showing the whole class a drawing of him, Zico and his monster playing soccer together. His smile was as bright and blinding as ever, specially because he was talking about his passion: soccer. He loved it so much. It helped him escape the harsh reality for a while.

The class went silent. They used to think Bachira was weird, to put it slightly, but this? It just made him even more weird! They all knew that he could never be a football player. He was an outcast. A freak. He was a monster. And monsters couldn't live with humans. Nobody wanted a monster on their team.

And so, instead of clapping like they did with the other kids' drawings, the class started to laugh. It started out quiet, but later it turned into a full, loud laugh. All of them. And Bachira always dreamed of making everyone there laugh, but not like this. They weren't laughing with him or because of him, they were laughing at him.

"Uh? What's happening, miss?" He asked the teacher, confused and on the verge of crying. He couldn't cry here. Not in front of them, please. That would be another thing for them to laugh at.

He swears on his life that he heard the teacher laugh a little, before the adult crouched down to match his size, grabbed his drawing and put it on his desk, while the other kids' drawings were being stuck to the board with tape. And then, he heard one of the worst sentences he ever heard in his life. One that he knew would definitely keep him awake at night:

"Meguru, being a football player is too hard for you. Why don't you settle for something more real and reachable? Like a doctor or a lawyer?"

He didn't understand. Some kids here wanted to be astronauts, others wanted to be models. Hell, one wanted to be a dinosaur babysitter. And their drawings were hanging on the wall, like they were going to be achieved. Bachira felt like no one believed in him. Like he was being put aside.

He then realized the problem wasn't what he wanted to do. It was him. Anyone could be a football player, but he couldn't. Because he was a monster. He was different from others.

And so, the tears began to fall. One by one, first from his left away and then from his right eye. His vision began to blurry. Left eye, right eye. Left, right, left right. Kids laughing, teacher laughing. His drawing on the desk. Left, right. Left right. He couldn't even see his own hands anymore from how blurred his vision was. He looked to his side. Left, right. The door. His escape. He needed to leave.

So, without second thought, Bachira ran towards the door. He couldn't care less for the teacher calling his name. He wouldn't come looking for him anyway. Nobody would. Nobody cared enough to do it.

He sat behind a tree, protected by it's shadow. He continued to cry. Hard. He put his hands in his eyes to try and stop the tears from falling, but he couldn't. He needed to let it all out. He just wished he had someone by his side during his breakdown. He really wanted a shoulder to rely on.

"Hey"

Maybe he was, indeed, schizophrenic. Because, the moment he looked up, he saw a girl he swore was too pretty to be real. The sunset made her have an angelic glow, and the wind made her hair flow just the right way. Her face was like a greek statuate, and he swore he could hear a soothing symphony playing in the background when he met her eyes: they were the most beautiful color he had ever seen, and he could imagine himself being lost and found in them. She was just too pretty. Too pretty to be here for him. And so, he managed to stop crying for a while and said, between sniffs:

"Did you lose a bet?"

The way your face contorted was almost comic.

"What?"

"Did someone pay you to come here? Where are the cameras? And how much was it?"

"I didn't lose any bet" you said, frowning. "I came here to check on you because I wanted to. I don't get why everyone laughed at you. Your dream is not stupid. Nobody's dream is."

"Even Richard's? He said he wants to be a dinossaur nanny" he said before he even thought about it. He then widened his eyes, because what if you were Richard's friend? What if you hated him now because he said something bad about your friend? What if he already screwed everything up? What if...

"Okay, you win. That one's actually stupid." You laughed. He made you laugh. This time, someone was laughing because of him. He felt like he was capable of everything at that moment. Your laugh was a sweet, infecting, honey-like melody. It made him wanna laugh too. He didn't realize it, but he had already stopped crying, and was now just staring at you with big, blown and unwavering eyes. His mouth slightly parted, like he was studying you and comitting everything about you to memory. Almost as if you were indeed an ilusion, and would disappear the second he blinked. He couldn't believe you were real. You were real, and you were talking to him.

After a while, you stopped laughing and finally noticed his intense staring. Suddenly bashful, your cheeks turned a bright red.

"I-I just want you to know that you shouldn't be ashamed of your dream. I think- no, I'm sure you can achieve it. You just have to work hard for it. I-I've seen you playing sometimes, and it's honestly amazing how focused you are. Bachira, I want to be your friend. That's it, if you'll let me-"

He hugged you. Hard. If it was any other time, he would have been afraid of scaring you off with the sudden hug, but he couldn't care less right now. He needed this. He needed a friend. You were just what he needed. You were perfect.

He started to cry again. This time, the first tear came out of his right eye. Right, left. His vision was getting blurred from how hard he was smiling. Right, left. Right, left. Your arms hugging him back. Right, left. The sound of the school bell, signalizing the end of the school day. People would see you and him hugging and you would probably be called weird by them for being next to him, but you still didn't break the hug. Right, left.

He didn't want to escape like he did during the class incident. No. He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted time to stop, to be in your arms for eternity. He didn't want to pull away. He finally made a friend. You were his first friend.

Bachira Meguru used to think he was unlovable, but you proved him wrong. You proved he could, in fact, be loved. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't a freak. He was Bachira Meguru. Your best friend. And he wore that title with pride. Later on, he had the honour to be called your boyfriend, and he was even prouder of that one.

He used to think he would never find happiness. That's why, the moment the ref blew the whistle signalizing the end of Japan U-20 against Blue Lock eleven match and securing Blue Lock's victory, he couldn't think of anything else besides his girl. He ran across the field to you. Because you were like a magnet. He couldn't be apart from you, or else it felt like the whole earth would explode. He was yours and you were his. You both were meant to be.

"You did it! I love you, Meguru!"

He laughed. A pretty, genuine laugh followed by a couple of tears, beginning from his right eye, of course. His mother was recording behind you both, the blue lock team was smirking and whistling at the sight of you two and the television was streaming the moment for the whole world to see. But neither of you cared about the extra eyes. You were the only ones on the world. You always made him feel like that, and he hopes he makes you feel that way, too.

"I love you so much. Thank you."

Thank you for being with me. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for accepting the title of being my girlfriend proudly. Thank you for being you. Thank you for everything. Thank you.

He then lifted you and spun you in the air, smiling hard. He brought your lips closer and then kissed you. A kiss full of emotion and love. So much love: raw and pure.

You proved he wasn't just lovable. He was also capable of loving. And there's nothing prettier than loving someone.

Bachira Meguru was lovable, and you made sure to show him that. You loved him, and he would do everything to keep it that way forever.

~A/N: there's a "saying" that says that if you're crying and the first tear is from the left eye, you're crying from sadness. If the first tear comes out of the right eye, they're happy tears!!

Masterlist

What if:.. I noticed that most BLLK characters are Called by their Last Names, but one Specifically Stood out: Rin. I have a feeling that Rin requested Ego to not use his last name(?) since he doesn’t want to be overshadowed by his brother’s fame while he’s in blue lock. (Excluding reo)

Can you do Blue Lock Itoshi brothers and little sister reader? The reader has always had a good relationship with her brothers, but when Sae went to and came back from Spain, everything changed. On the day when Sae crushed Rin's dream, Sae also said very hurtful things to his little sister, and he left. When the reader tried to reach out to Rin, he also said hurtful things to her and avoided her. Before he went to Blue Lock, he just ignored her. All of these things made the reader very depressed; she went from a happy girl to a depressed one. She needed her brothers so much, but they are not hers for her. After growing up, the reader remembered that she still has her own life and dreams. She knows that she doesn't need her big brothers, and she should focus on her happiness now. So she made a decision to cut her big brothers out of her life completely. She blocked them and deleted their numbers from everything. After she made sure that they could never reach her, she moved to another country, which is very far from Japan. The reader is now going to start her new life, and she will never forgive her big brothers. When Sae and Rin found out that their little sister moved somewhere far and she cut them from contact, they panicked but couldn't reach her.

Part 1 l part 2

this is a great plot, I might mess up on this so if you don't like it you can request another fellow creator to make this amazing idea!

��Broken bond between siblings��

Summary : Being the youngest sibling of the itoshi family is sounds like a dream come true to most. Two brothers by your side at all times, both are athletes, well built and popular.

No ships! everything is platonic, angst, this is very messy (bcus the internet kept cutting of since they were a thunderstrom) so i apologize for that, isekai'd reader!

Credits to the owners of the dividers! this fanfic style is from @chateaaa

Note : reader is a year younger than rin.

Isn't that reality sounds amazing? the youngest itoshi sibling in the family, but what they didn't know was that you were isekai'd to this reality.

You were a genius in your previous life, a prodigy, someone who invented a gadget that change the course of humanity.

𝐀 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞…

But before you could ever finish the last few pieces of the machine, you were poisoned by your very own lover...

"What have you done..!?" you choked out holding your neck, as your mouth began to foam.

"It's just business, love" your lover... no the person who betrayed you said in a calm voice.

"but don't worry your invention won't to go waste" you saw their wicked smirk, but before you ever replied the poison started to take its course.

You felt your insides burning up, it was worse than you having your period. It hurts like hell... You succumbed little by little to the darkness and passed at only the age of 27 by your very own lover.

You felt yourself falling and there seem to have to end.

The experience was like falling down a cliff, but what you see was all the memories you had in this life.

Hours have gone by, you were still falling down. until you finally felt stop with a loud thud.

After that was a long pause.

You tried to open your eyes to no avail, nothing seems to be in your control, your sight was pure darkness, yet you could still hear some soft murmurs.

Trying to scream but the only thing you heard was a loud cry of a baby, screaming again the ending was still the same, a loud cry of a baby.

Using your brain you figured you reincarnated as someone, but who...?

You stop trying to scream to try to figure out where were you.

"お兄ちゃん、妹また泣いてた..." said an familiar voice, wait was that itoshi rin from blue lock?

"それはあなたが彼女を間違って運ぶからです、リン" Said another voice which you recognize was sae itoshi.

Translation! : (i use google to translate it!)

"お兄ちゃん、妹また泣いてた" = "Brother, little sister was crying..."

"それはあなたが彼女を間違って運ぶからです、リン" = "Its because your holding her wrong, rin."

You left yourself leaving a spot and going to another, unlucky for you, in all of your experience of being a genius you have no clue what they were speaking.

You felt yourself being rock in one's arm which you assume was sae's, and began to sleep.

Timeskip to where you were 10 years old!

You finally got to learn Japanese while also started to learn your native language on the side.

Sae's is leaving for Spain, you and your brothers got along well you still hid the fact you were isekai'd to this universe very well.

Other than skipping a grade or two... You couldn't hide the fact you were more intelligence than the rest of the pupils. Due to this you were enrolled in a special education school for prodigies such as your self once you finish with elementary.

You are currently in your last year of elementary, next year you will start junior high.

You obviously took advantage of the fact you were in an anime/manga you watch/read.

Since the series of the blue lock ended a long time ago, you re-read the manga and re-watch the anime. Looks like being fan of blue lock really paid off.

You easily won their favors, that made them involved you in parts that the series didn't mention. You played your cards carefully to not affect the main storyline, or else the Butterfly effect will happen

If you are not familiar with the butterfly effect : is it basically when you disrupt the plot, may it be the reader getting together with one of the main characters, that will end up in having a timeline not included in the previous plot.

Standing at the airport as you see sae wave goodbye with a smile not daring to speak.

"Good luck, sae!" mrs. itoshi said as she smiled.

"Take care of your health!" you hear mr. itoshi said.

Looking to your side you saw rin with a neutral expression that turned into happy expression you re-call his words and repeated in your head.

"Nii-chan, Have a safe trip!" you hear rin said with a smile, but surprisingly you heard something that wasn't added in the manga.

"Me and sis will be waiting for your return" you stood there looking dumb founded. something like that will cause something that wasn't in the manga.

"yeah yeah i know, see ya." you hear sae say, "Im off to be the best in the world." sae added and you stay silent.

Trying your best to stay happy you wave goodbye to his leaving figure. You know well that as small as a sentence that may disturb the plot and change the course.

As you guys start heading back to the vehicle, you were silently wondering what to do now. You were spending too much time with them, you know well small problems with end up being messy for you to clean up once you leave it alone.

You just hope that that this butterfly effect won't affect the storyline.

Rin called out to you loudly "(reader)! what lukewarm thing are you thinking now?" you stop daydreaming and look to his direction.

He added once he realizes you noticed him. "Stop standing there and just get inside the car"

You nodded and started to to enter the car, trying to relax your mind by talking with rin for the majority of the ride back home.

At least that cleared your mind up for a while.

You can't help but remember what happened to sae when he was in Spain whenever rin mention him. poor dude. You wanted to warn him but that might end up disturb the his character development.

4 years have passed since sae left for spain.

Not much have change, rin was still practicing his football to be the best in the world with his brother.

The relationship between you and his improve over football since you have some small but effective tips to help him improve his skills... Right? your quite sure that you hadn't change the plot.

You were a good sister, you tried your best. So why...?

.

Mrs. Itoshi ask you to get rin since it was getting late, getting your jacket since it was winter. You wondered if this time will be the day sae will come back from spain.

You doubt as you opened the front door and started walking. You thought many times before that sae will come back, but it was just a false alarm so you try to not involve yourself this time of month.

Step...

Step..

Step.

'Oh, its snowing. didn't see this on the news' You thought as you started walking faster.

Observing the place you were walking at, 'peace' something you hadn't have in your previous life all you did was work work work...

You always to make the best version of humanity, neglecting yourself all for the sake to make humanity one step closer to being in the most advance era.

Looking back, you noticed how dumb but you were happy, right?. If you had a chance you'll go back and convince yourself to take a break every now and then.

Maybe because of that you wouldn't have died? Your mind wonder off... to the time you died, Oh yeah your time travel machine... you completely forgot that, maybe you can make here in this life.

Humming slightly you quit focusing in your previous life, this is a life that you can finally make the time-travel machine you'll always wanted. You instead started focusing to get to rin in time for dinner.

...

You finally reach your destination, seeing two figures. Your heart drop, is this actually happening? and your in the middle of it.

Trying to back away before they noticed you, sae noticed you and you froze. He approach you steadily taking note of your appreance.

Both of you were in a stalemate, you move one wrong move the plot might change all because of a Butterfly effect.

Playing dumb you greeted him with a smile, looking to the side

"Sae-nii, how are you, have you become the best in the world?" You asked taking in his expression, it was just like in the manga.

"No, not yet atleast" He gave a short response and was started to leave, but suddenly you felt this weird sensation. You couldn't seem to control your body anymore.

"Sae-nii have you done something?" You heard yourself question him but you already knew the answer.

"Hm, what to do mean?" sae asked trying to clarify your question

"What did you do with rin?" you clarified your question not trying to blow your cover.

"I gave him a reality check, he. is. weak. both mentally and physically"

You felt your body tense up, you seems to know what's gonna come out of your mouth, as you predicted you started defending him.

"what!? he just literally won a match-"

"The match was mediocre at best, it wasn't a competition." Sae added as he started to glare at you.

"But he still won!" you replied.

"Didn't you hear it (reader)? it was mediocre, even a kid in Germany can beat them." he continued speaking not letting you reply "Japan makes shit strikers, that's a fact"

"Rin and you could be the best in Japan, but face it, you both will never be the best in the world if you have the same mindset Japan has given you both." he gave a sigh and started talking again.

"You may think that your someone special in my life, but no your not. Your an eyesore, pathetic excuse of a sister."

"You don't even play football, your not worth anything, your useless, without football i can't believe your my sister i feel disgusted"

"thinking of you always makes me wanna vomit"

"Don't fucking contact me (reader)"

You start feeling yourself tear up but you manage stop yourself just in the nick of time, 'Is this what rin felt like after sae broke their dreams?'. This is a mess, you never thought your ever gonna felt this bad.

Looking at the side after sae left you saw rin still at the ground looking as traumatize as ever. You stared at him trying to think of a way to console him.

But before you could console him, he blew up like a bomb.

"I fucking knew it..." rin said clenching the ground beneath him, "You always felt weird, i didn't know what is it at first."

"But know that piece of shit opened my eyes, i know that feeling now. Disgust."

"Sae was right about one thing, your someone who disgust us both. I'm surprise that i didn't notice that feeling sooner"

"We're both weak and pathetic, but something is making us different from eachother" Rin said as he saw your shock expression.

"I don't revolve around peace like you do, i don't shut my room to study for some important science project for my elite school"

"I live for destruction, something you will never understand. I'm absolutely disgusted to call you my sister" Rin admitted all of this in a matter of minutes, leaving you more heartbroken than before.

.

You watch him stand up and leave you standing there.

Once he left your tears finally started forming, you could only do much by stopping your tears forming whilst rin was saying what he thought of you.

You clench your fist into a ball, feeling so much emotions at once. You wanted to punch the air but you might look crazy, you question yourself.

If this was all worth it, having yourself be beat down to a plump just because you decided to come and get rin.

You started regret going all the way here just to get rin, and now you got your heart-broken by two characters you read in the manga. How unlucky you are.

Getting betrayed once again. Not once but twice in a single night by two brothers. Getting up again you started to walk back to the place you call home.

1 year after than incident

You were not the once happy and bubbly person you were, you start questing yourself and not in a good and healthy way. their hurtful words clings to you like a bug.

You can't get rid of the fact they felt disgusted by your presence, you buried yourself in your schoolwork to skip a grade or two to go to collage.

Occasionally you will try to fix your relationship for the sake of the storyline (and your mental health). Sae just ignores for texts trying to re-connect, while rin just gave you the cold shoulder.

You tried one last time once rin had to leave for blue lock.

"uhm... hey rin?" you awkwardly called out to him as he was about to leave the house.

"What is it?" He asked not bothering to turn his head to look at you.

"I just wanna say goodbye... and good luck on your journey." You stated.

"Thanks i guess, well i got to get going now." He replied as he leaves.

Watching him leave without a second thought, today will be the start of the blue lock program. Almost 15 years you've been in this universe.

You mind starts to wonder off as you watch him walking towards the train station a few blocks away. You've been so focus on trying to mend that you started to neglect yourself again, the same mistake you made in your past life.

Thought after thought, you came to a decision to move on from them.

They didn't want you in their lives so you wouldn't push it any further, the easiest way to ignore them is to block them.

You're pretty sure that this decision was harsh, but it wasn't that harsh though when they said that winter night.

He was right you all just wanted peace.

You went inside the and quickly got inside your room, the decision you made might be irrational and might make you regret it later on.

But all you wanted now is a place where's there is peace, something that can later on give you happiness in this life.

Getting your phone you started to block all of the itoshi brothers media on all apps you know they had. It wasn't much so you manage to do it in a couple of minutes.

You let a sigh of relief, you know damn well you will regret it near future.

...

You saved up for you collage to go study abroad in your country before this. It took awhile but at least you got a scholar, you really didn't care what they think you since you were finally free.

You manage to make the time machine here in this life at age 23, even if you died atleast your name will be remembered on through generations as being the "lady who surpass humanity's limits"

i lost motivation here, and i cried while making the angst frfr

I forgot to add this but the poison reader consume was a poison that was makes the reader bloom. Or well throw up flowers, the pain you felt in your stomach was the flowers blooming.

Thats why the divider was a flower :D

Wsup! its the creator <3 the person that send the request didn't specifically said the ending for this amazing plot, so its decision as you the reader to carve your own path! You may or not forgive them both or one sibling, this was such a joy to make You can 100% reblog this and make your own ending, i would love to see your pov :D

Can you do Blue Lock Itoshi brothers and little sister reader? The reader has always had a good relationship with her brothers, but when Sae went to and came back from Spain, everything changed. On the day when Sae crushed Rin's dream, Sae also said very hurtful things to his little sister, and he left. When the reader tried to reach out to Rin, he also said hurtful things to her and avoided her. Before he went to Blue Lock, he just ignored her. All of these things made the reader very depressed; she went from a happy girl to a depressed one. She needed her brothers so much, but they are not hers for her. After growing up, the reader remembered that she still has her own life and dreams. She knows that she doesn't need her big brothers, and she should focus on her happiness now. So she made a decision to cut her big brothers out of her life completely. She blocked them and deleted their numbers from everything. After she made sure that they could never reach her, she moved to another country, which is very far from Japan. The reader is now going to start her new life, and she will never forgive her big brothers. When Sae and Rin found out that their little sister moved somewhere far and she cut them from contact, they panicked but couldn't reach her.

Part 1 l part 2

this is a great plot, I might mess up on this so if you don't like it you can request another fellow creator to make this amazing idea!

��Broken bond between siblings��

Summary : Being the youngest sibling of the itoshi family is sounds like a dream come true to most. Two brothers by your side at all times, both are athletes, well built and popular.

No ships! everything is platonic, angst, this is very messy (bcus the internet kept cutting of since they were a thunderstrom) so i apologize for that, isekai'd reader!

Credits to the owners of the dividers! this fanfic style is from @chateaaa

Note : reader is a year younger than rin.

Isn't that reality sounds amazing? the youngest itoshi sibling in the family, but what they didn't know was that you were isekai'd to this reality.

You were a genius in your previous life, a prodigy, someone who invented a gadget that change the course of humanity.

𝐀 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞…

But before you could ever finish the last few pieces of the machine, you were poisoned by your very own lover...

"What have you done..!?" you choked out holding your neck, as your mouth began to foam.

"It's just business, love" your lover... no the person who betrayed you said in a calm voice.

"but don't worry your invention won't to go waste" you saw their wicked smirk, but before you ever replied the poison started to take its course.

You felt your insides burning up, it was worse than you having your period. It hurts like hell... You succumbed little by little to the darkness and passed at only the age of 27 by your very own lover.

You felt yourself falling and there seem to have to end.

The experience was like falling down a cliff, but what you see was all the memories you had in this life.

Hours have gone by, you were still falling down. until you finally felt stop with a loud thud.

After that was a long pause.

You tried to open your eyes to no avail, nothing seems to be in your control, your sight was pure darkness, yet you could still hear some soft murmurs.

Trying to scream but the only thing you heard was a loud cry of a baby, screaming again the ending was still the same, a loud cry of a baby.

Using your brain you figured you reincarnated as someone, but who...?

You stop trying to scream to try to figure out where were you.

"お兄ちゃん、妹また泣いてた..." said an familiar voice, wait was that itoshi rin from blue lock?

"それはあなたが彼女を間違って運ぶからです、リン" Said another voice which you recognize was sae itoshi.

Translation! : (i use google to translate it!)

"お兄ちゃん、妹また泣いてた" = "Brother, little sister was crying..."

"それはあなたが彼女を間違って運ぶからです、リン" = "Its because your holding her wrong, rin."

You left yourself leaving a spot and going to another, unlucky for you, in all of your experience of being a genius you have no clue what they were speaking.

You felt yourself being rock in one's arm which you assume was sae's, and began to sleep.

Timeskip to where you were 10 years old!

You finally got to learn Japanese while also started to learn your native language on the side.

Sae's is leaving for Spain, you and your brothers got along well you still hid the fact you were isekai'd to this universe very well.

Other than skipping a grade or two... You couldn't hide the fact you were more intelligence than the rest of the pupils. Due to this you were enrolled in a special education school for prodigies such as your self once you finish with elementary.

You are currently in your last year of elementary, next year you will start junior high.

You obviously took advantage of the fact you were in an anime/manga you watch/read.

Since the series of the blue lock ended a long time ago, you re-read the manga and re-watch the anime. Looks like being fan of blue lock really paid off.

You easily won their favors, that made them involved you in parts that the series didn't mention. You played your cards carefully to not affect the main storyline, or else the Butterfly effect will happen

If you are not familiar with the butterfly effect : is it basically when you disrupt the plot, may it be the reader getting together with one of the main characters, that will end up in having a timeline not included in the previous plot.

Standing at the airport as you see sae wave goodbye with a smile not daring to speak.

"Good luck, sae!" mrs. itoshi said as she smiled.

"Take care of your health!" you hear mr. itoshi said.

Looking to your side you saw rin with a neutral expression that turned into happy expression you re-call his words and repeated in your head.

"Nii-chan, Have a safe trip!" you hear rin said with a smile, but surprisingly you heard something that wasn't added in the manga.

"Me and sis will be waiting for your return" you stood there looking dumb founded. something like that will cause something that wasn't in the manga.

"yeah yeah i know, see ya." you hear sae say, "Im off to be the best in the world." sae added and you stay silent.

Trying your best to stay happy you wave goodbye to his leaving figure. You know well that as small as a sentence that may disturb the plot and change the course.

As you guys start heading back to the vehicle, you were silently wondering what to do now. You were spending too much time with them, you know well small problems with end up being messy for you to clean up once you leave it alone.

You just hope that that this butterfly effect won't affect the storyline.

Rin called out to you loudly "(reader)! what lukewarm thing are you thinking now?" you stop daydreaming and look to his direction.

He added once he realizes you noticed him. "Stop standing there and just get inside the car"

You nodded and started to to enter the car, trying to relax your mind by talking with rin for the majority of the ride back home.

At least that cleared your mind up for a while.

You can't help but remember what happened to sae when he was in Spain whenever rin mention him. poor dude. You wanted to warn him but that might end up disturb the his character development.

4 years have passed since sae left for spain.

Not much have change, rin was still practicing his football to be the best in the world with his brother.

The relationship between you and his improve over football since you have some small but effective tips to help him improve his skills... Right? your quite sure that you hadn't change the plot.

You were a good sister, you tried your best. So why...?

.

Mrs. Itoshi ask you to get rin since it was getting late, getting your jacket since it was winter. You wondered if this time will be the day sae will come back from spain.

You doubt as you opened the front door and started walking. You thought many times before that sae will come back, but it was just a false alarm so you try to not involve yourself this time of month.

Step...

Step..

Step.

'Oh, its snowing. didn't see this on the news' You thought as you started walking faster.

Observing the place you were walking at, 'peace' something you hadn't have in your previous life all you did was work work work...

You always to make the best version of humanity, neglecting yourself all for the sake to make humanity one step closer to being in the most advance era.

Looking back, you noticed how dumb but you were happy, right?. If you had a chance you'll go back and convince yourself to take a break every now and then.

Maybe because of that you wouldn't have died? Your mind wonder off... to the time you died, Oh yeah your time travel machine... you completely forgot that, maybe you can make here in this life.

Humming slightly you quit focusing in your previous life, this is a life that you can finally make the time-travel machine you'll always wanted. You instead started focusing to get to rin in time for dinner.

...

You finally reach your destination, seeing two figures. Your heart drop, is this actually happening? and your in the middle of it.

Trying to back away before they noticed you, sae noticed you and you froze. He approach you steadily taking note of your appreance.

Both of you were in a stalemate, you move one wrong move the plot might change all because of a Butterfly effect.

Playing dumb you greeted him with a smile, looking to the side

"Sae-nii, how are you, have you become the best in the world?" You asked taking in his expression, it was just like in the manga.

"No, not yet atleast" He gave a short response and was started to leave, but suddenly you felt this weird sensation. You couldn't seem to control your body anymore.

"Sae-nii have you done something?" You heard yourself question him but you already knew the answer.

"Hm, what to do mean?" sae asked trying to clarify your question

"What did you do with rin?" you clarified your question not trying to blow your cover.

"I gave him a reality check, he. is. weak. both mentally and physically"

You felt your body tense up, you seems to know what's gonna come out of your mouth, as you predicted you started defending him.

"what!? he just literally won a match-"

"The match was mediocre at best, it wasn't a competition." Sae added as he started to glare at you.

"But he still won!" you replied.

"Didn't you hear it (reader)? it was mediocre, even a kid in Germany can beat them." he continued speaking not letting you reply "Japan makes shit strikers, that's a fact"

"Rin and you could be the best in Japan, but face it, you both will never be the best in the world if you have the same mindset Japan has given you both." he gave a sigh and started talking again.

"You may think that your someone special in my life, but no your not. Your an eyesore, pathetic excuse of a sister."

"You don't even play football, your not worth anything, your useless, without football i can't believe your my sister i feel disgusted"

"thinking of you always makes me wanna vomit"

"Don't fucking contact me (reader)"

You start feeling yourself tear up but you manage stop yourself just in the nick of time, 'Is this what rin felt like after sae broke their dreams?'. This is a mess, you never thought your ever gonna felt this bad.

Looking at the side after sae left you saw rin still at the ground looking as traumatize as ever. You stared at him trying to think of a way to console him.

But before you could console him, he blew up like a bomb.

"I fucking knew it..." rin said clenching the ground beneath him, "You always felt weird, i didn't know what is it at first."

"But know that piece of shit opened my eyes, i know that feeling now. Disgust."

"Sae was right about one thing, your someone who disgust us both. I'm surprise that i didn't notice that feeling sooner"

"We're both weak and pathetic, but something is making us different from eachother" Rin said as he saw your shock expression.

"I don't revolve around peace like you do, i don't shut my room to study for some important science project for my elite school"

"I live for destruction, something you will never understand. I'm absolutely disgusted to call you my sister" Rin admitted all of this in a matter of minutes, leaving you more heartbroken than before.

.

You watch him stand up and leave you standing there.

Once he left your tears finally started forming, you could only do much by stopping your tears forming whilst rin was saying what he thought of you.

You clench your fist into a ball, feeling so much emotions at once. You wanted to punch the air but you might look crazy, you question yourself.

If this was all worth it, having yourself be beat down to a plump just because you decided to come and get rin.

You started regret going all the way here just to get rin, and now you got your heart-broken by two characters you read in the manga. How unlucky you are.

Getting betrayed once again. Not once but twice in a single night by two brothers. Getting up again you started to walk back to the place you call home.

1 year after than incident

You were not the once happy and bubbly person you were, you start questing yourself and not in a good and healthy way. their hurtful words clings to you like a bug.

You can't get rid of the fact they felt disgusted by your presence, you buried yourself in your schoolwork to skip a grade or two to go to collage.

Occasionally you will try to fix your relationship for the sake of the storyline (and your mental health). Sae just ignores for texts trying to re-connect, while rin just gave you the cold shoulder.

You tried one last time once rin had to leave for blue lock.

"uhm... hey rin?" you awkwardly called out to him as he was about to leave the house.

"What is it?" He asked not bothering to turn his head to look at you.

"I just wanna say goodbye... and good luck on your journey." You stated.

"Thanks i guess, well i got to get going now." He replied as he leaves.

Watching him leave without a second thought, today will be the start of the blue lock program. Almost 15 years you've been in this universe.

You mind starts to wonder off as you watch him walking towards the train station a few blocks away. You've been so focus on trying to mend that you started to neglect yourself again, the same mistake you made in your past life.

Thought after thought, you came to a decision to move on from them.

They didn't want you in their lives so you wouldn't push it any further, the easiest way to ignore them is to block them.

You're pretty sure that this decision was harsh, but it wasn't that harsh though when they said that winter night.

He was right you all just wanted peace.

You went inside the and quickly got inside your room, the decision you made might be irrational and might make you regret it later on.

But all you wanted now is a place where's there is peace, something that can later on give you happiness in this life.

Getting your phone you started to block all of the itoshi brothers media on all apps you know they had. It wasn't much so you manage to do it in a couple of minutes.

You let a sigh of relief, you know damn well you will regret it near future.

...

You saved up for you collage to go study abroad in your country before this. It took awhile but at least you got a scholar, you really didn't care what they think you since you were finally free.

You manage to make the time machine here in this life at age 23, even if you died atleast your name will be remembered on through generations as being the "lady who surpass humanity's limits"

i lost motivation here, and i cried while making the angst frfr

I forgot to add this but the poison reader consume was a poison that was makes the reader bloom. Or well throw up flowers, the pain you felt in your stomach was the flowers blooming.

Thats why the divider was a flower :D

Wsup! its the creator <3 the person that send the request didn't specifically said the ending for this amazing plot, so its decision as you the reader to carve your own path! You may or not forgive them both or one sibling, this was such a joy to make You can 100% reblog this and make your own ending, i would love to see your pov :D

“HIS RED FLAGS” what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*ೃ feat : michael kaiser, sae itoshi, ryusei shidou, alexis ness

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst.

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : bodyshaming, profanities, manipulation, mention of intercourse, stalking, toxic relationship

MICHAEL KAISER

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ He is an arrogant and egocentric man, always bragging about himself on daily basis with you. Frequently, he belittles you and pressures you into improving yourself more. He wants to make sure you're worthy to stand next to him to maintain his distinguished image as German prodigy. Since he views himself as embodiment of perfection, you must be as perfect as him. Insulting your insecurities whenever you experience low self-esteem is his way to motivate you to better yourself.

“Stop eating that unhealthy junk. You will gain weight.”

“If you don't start working out and get rid of those fat, I'm gonna fucking dump you.”

“I don't care! Starve yourself to death or anything. If you still love me, then stop whining.”

SAE ITOSHI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Living in Spain for years and learning the harsh reality of life at such young age damages his emotional growth as a teenager. He grows up as an ignorant man who lacks empathy toward others' feelings, even his own significant other. Engaging in relationship with Sae is like one-sided love. It is only you who is always concerned about the relationship and strive hard to maintain a stable relationship. Sae, in the other hand, could care less of your feelings and emotions. Often being bluntly cruel and hurting your feelings, intentionally and unintentionally. His career as soccer player is his sole priority after all.

“Can't you see I'm tired? Leave me alone.”

“Why should I waste my energy and time on a stupid date? Just stay at home.”

“Stop being mean? I'm merely being honest. It's not my fault that you're too sensitive.”

RYUSEI SHIDOU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Ryusei is one manipulative partner, messing with your mind and emotions frighteningly often in order to force you to stay by his side despite how toxic the relationship is. He is selfish, obsessive and possessive. He makes you believe nobody else will love you as much as he does, even tricking your mind into believing he is the only one in this world who accept you as who you are. If breaking your mind is the only mean to turn you into an obedient doll for him, he will resort to such cruelty. He also despises talking things out when conflict brews up between you and him. To him, the sole way to make peace with you is through intercourse. He never force himself on you but he frequently seduces you into having sex as distraction to avoid having serious talk. You can never resist him and always submit yourself to him willingly. His words of temptation...is irresistible.

“Break up? There is no one better than me out there.”

“Oh, sweetheart...you can never find another person to love you. I'm the only one capable of doing so..”

“Have you forgotten? You're all alone, sweetheart. Who else will be by your side when you're at your lowest?”

ALEXIS NESS

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Alexis has major trust issue and inferior complex. Often attempting to be the dominant one in the relationship by controlling you. He easily misunderstands your words or action. He unhealthily believes his words as the only truth, frequently coming up with his own speculation and accuses you of mistakes you never commit. Once he loses his mind, he becomes quite violent yet he tries to resist himself from hurting you physically. He usually suppresses himself by throwing objects on the floor to relieve his anger and warning you. However, sometime he only verbally attacks you by comparing you to other people; specifically his exes. Considering his trust issue is extremely severe, he stalks on you whenever you go out with your friends or by yourself.

“What? You want to see your friend? What's wrong with staying home with me all day? Have you lost your feelings toward me?”

“Who the fuck is that bastard with you earlier? Are you cheating on me?!”

“Shut the hell up. Why the hell are you like this? All my exes are not as annoying as you.”

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

pls can you do a part 2 for the red flags of bllk characters!! it was so good!

࿐*ೃ sure!! i actually plan to do for more characters in part 3 so characters suggestion is highly encouraged! (4 CHARACTERS MAXIMUM)

“HIS RED FLAGS” - PART 2 - what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*ೃ feat : reo mikage, seishiro nagi, oliver aiku, rin itoshi

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst.

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : cheating, manipulation, profanities, toxic relationship.

REO MIKAGE

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Reo would be the best, most perfect partner ever if only he believes that not everything can be resolved through his wealth. He loves you, he does but you're never his priority. All he cares about is his football career. He barely has time for you, often spending time with Seishiro to practice soccer together until dusk nearly everyday. When you tell him about your worries, you expect him to take action and finally considers to mend the relationship again. But he never. He just gives you tons of money and tells you to have fun by yourself to cheer you up. When you insist him to spend quality time with you, he harshly rejects you by saying he is busy. Indeed, he is busy. He is busy being Seishiro's servant and prioritizing his happiness more than yours.

“Sorry, Y/n. Not today. I have practice.”

“I told you, I don't have the leisure time to play around. I need to practice soccer!”

“Just take this money and enjoy yourself. Leave me alone and never speak about this matter ever again.”

SEISHIRO NAGI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Seishiro...is lazy, in general and in all ways. Relationship is a hassle for him to handle due to his lazy nature. He never make an effort to spice up nor mending his relationship with you. If it happens, it happens. That's his motto, one that he never fail to hold onto. Seishiro basically doesn't even care about you let alone your feelings for him in the slightest bit. He is solely using your vulnerability to his advantage. In all honesty, he only engages in relationship with you because he thinks you would be useful to assist him with his daily needs. You're a gullible person who simply follows all his orders like a servant, only thinking you only do this out of love and casting aside the fact you're being manipulated by your own boyfriend. He asks for breakfast? You make one for him. He tells you to wash all his clothes while he play games? You gladly do so. This goes on for a while until you realize how wrong this is and confronts Seishiro about it. The result, he never give a flying fuck. Instead, Seishiro manipulates you into thinking this is your own fault and makes you feel much worse.

“So...what's your point actually? You're blaming me over your own stupidity?”

“You're really dumb, Y/n. So dumb that it took you this long to notice.”

“Apologize? I never do anything wrong. It isn't like I hit you or anything.”

OLIVER AIKU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ We all know what this man is capable of; cheating. From the start of the relationship, he has dropped countless obvious hints. During date, you will always find his eyes lingering on other people as he “admires” them with a lustful smirk on his face. When you confront him, Oliver just brushes it off and says you're overreacting. It doesn't matter how many times you scold him, he will repeat his doing. And as time passes, he straightout flirts with anyone that catches his interest right in front of you. Daring to even exchange number while his lips curves into a seductive smirk. He barely has time for you and frequently leaving the house to have fun with his “friends”, which turns out to be his secret lover, one that he has been cheating on you with for a long time.

“Jeez, you're overreacting too much. I'm just being nice to them.”

“What's wrong with getting their number? You know me, I like making new friends!”

“Come on...can you just be open-minded and let me do anything I want? I can date anyone I want besides you. You have no control over my life.”

RIN ITOSHI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ You and Rin were like dream lovers, perfect for each other and completed each other's heart. That's it, until the dispute between Rin and his older brother happened that drastically changed him...and his relationship with you. Rin is not as sweet and as caring he used to be, solely focusing on his goal to surpass and beat his older brother in their unhealthy rivalry. He has become more distant and acts colder toward you. There is no spark of joy in the relationship anymore, with Rin drifting apart from you and you hurting from his cold-hearted treatment. You try to be there for him, supporting him in his journey to be the best striker to prove to his older brother but your efforts are often overlooked and left unappreciated by Rin. In fact, he sees you as a nuisance rather than his biggest supporter.

“I don't have time for you. Screw off, (Y/n).”

“You interrupted my practice to tell me to fucking rest? Are you telling me to laze around?”

“From now on, stop visiting me during practice. You are a fucking nuisance.”

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

hi!! i love how your head canons aren’t ooc! for part 3 of red flags could you possibly do karasu and barou?? thank you literally love you 🫶🫶🫶

“HIS RED FLAGS” - PART 3 - what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*ೃ feat : yoichi isagi , meguru bachira , shoei barou , tabito karasu

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : none

YOICHI ISAGI

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Yoichi IS NOT toxic. He is a loving boyfriend who cares so much for you. But there are certain aspects of his that get on your nerve sometime. Yoichi is highly competitive whenever you play games with him and he is not even aware of this side of his. The way he would always glare when you win against him and how he would demand for a rematch many times until he wins. He will not stop unless you begin raising your voice at him. Yoichi can't really read your facial expression too. When you are angry at him and glare at him warningly to leave you alone, he thinks you're hungry instead. So he won't leave you alone to cool down and keep bothering you to eat. Yeah, he doesn't even know that he just adds more fuel to the fire instead of putting it out with water.

“Hey, why the grumpy face? You hungry?”

“(Y/n), stop avoiding me! What did I do??.”

MEGURU BACHIRA

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Just like Yoichi, he isn't toxic and his red flags aren't technically bad. Meguru, in short term, is way too hyperactive. His energy is over the chart and it seems like he has way too much energy to spend that it's limitless. You can barely keep up with him especially when you both go out on date. It's never peaceful, it's full of STRESS. You keep losing sight of him and the next you know, you find him at game arcade playing Whack-A-Mole. The date feels more like babysitting a kid instead of spending quality time with your boyfriend. Meguru doesn't seem to understand personal boundaries too. He pulls pranks on you many times although you tell him not to. The pranks may be harmless but it pisses you off when he does it on daily basis. He is overly clingy and needy, constantly bothering you even when you're extremely occupied. He won't leave you alone unless his demands are met. It's tiring, dealing with him, but you love this part of Meguru too. You can't even scold him because you don't have the heart to do so.

“(Y/n), don't be so mean...cuddle me now!!”

“HAHAHAH! LOOK AT YOU! Drenched in water now!!”

“Don't care if you're busy. Let's watch some movies!”

SHOEI BAROU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Shoei is just too...dishonest and stubborn. To him, showing his true emotions and vulnerable side is considered weak. Hence, he is never honest with you. Not even once. He is persistently stubborn and unnecessarily harsh toward you most of the time, although he doesn't intend to hurt your feelings. He never thank you when you give him gifts, he never smile when you confess his love to him and he never show any sign of him loving you. Although he actually loves you a lot. This leads you to believe he just forces himself to date you which explains his cold-heartedness toward you. When misunderstanding breaks out between you and him, his ego will not allow him to mend the relationship. This extreme tsundere side of him is destroying his relationship with you. The relationship could have been the healthiest one ever if only he chooses to be honest.

“Do I love you or not? Are you blind? We're dating, it's so obvious. How could you ask such stupid question as if you're doubting me.”

“Why the hell I need to show efforts? Being together is enough.”

TABITO KARASU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Tabito is kind and caring. However, his hatred for surprises always annoy you. His reaction toward the surprises you specially prepare for him is immensely disappointing. He just stares at the gift you did your hardest to get for him, only for him to scowl at you and scold you for surprising him. Even though the gifts are actually something he has always dreamed to have. He may accept the gifts, but he never thank you for them. He just looks moody all day after receiving the surprised gifts. And the next time you decide to give him gifts, he just chooses one straight out from any shop and let you pay for it. Tabito is also too observant. He knows too much about yourself just from analyzing your behavior patter and many more. Sometime, he brings out topics you never ever want to mention to anyone, even him. He thinks he is qualified to give you advice to resolve your situation although you never ask for any. Sometime, he even questions why you keep stressing out over the same reasons and doesn't hesitate to ask you about it. this side of him really gets on your nerve. He isn't helping, he makes you feel worse and annoyed with him.

“Why can't you understand such simple rule? I don't like surprises."

“Why don't you do this to solve your issue? It's so obvious to think of this from the beginning.”

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes, interaction and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

“HIS RED FLAGS” - PART 4 - what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon

࿐*ೃ feat : rensuke kunigami , jinpachi ego , eita otoya , jyubei aryu

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : toxic relationship

RENSUKE KUNIGAMI [WILDCARD]

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ It doesn't take you long to realize how distant you are with your boyfriend, Rensuke. He no longer contacts you, texts you 'good morning' and 'good night', no late-night calls. He ghosts you out of nowhere which make you worried. Even though now he is allowed to call anyone during his stay in Blue Lock Program. When you come over to visit him at Blue Lock facility, Rensuke pretends like he has never met you and avoid you. You confront him about it and at that point, you realize you're talking to a different person- he isn't your boyfriend. He is cold-hearted, ruthless, stoic and harsh toward you. He never raise his voice at you but his venomous words still stung your heart. He hurts your feelings on purpose, he tells you the last things you would ever hear from him. Though you shed tears in front of him, he never hug you or comfort you. You can't feel his comfortable warmth and gentle kindness anymore. In the end, he discards you from his life like you mean nothing to him.

"You mean nothing to me. Never appear before me again."

"This relationship is a waste of time."

JINPACHI EGO

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Jin is emotionally detached from you. He can't feel your emotions which make it difficult for him to comprehend your emotional state. When you're upset, he never bother to comfort you because he doesn't know what is upsetting you. He tries to provide consolation, only for his words to come out wrong and you misunderstanding his intention. This always results with you arguing with him and him never show the effort to console or win your heart back. In fact, he becomes harsher toward you. At some point, he gets annoyed with the constant argument and your breakdown that he decides to end the relationship without properly explaining everything to you first.

"You're stupid for crying over such thing."

"You're not insecure, you just don't have enough confidence."

"Stop getting upset over every little inconvenience."

EITA OTOYA

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ He is basically Oliver 2.0 except that he never bother to hide the fact he wants to cheat from the beginning. If Oliver is being subtle before exposing his real intention, Eita straight out cheats in front of you. You lose count on how many times you see him staring at other people from the beginning you both start dating. He only focuses on you when you ask him for a kiss and he is more than willing to give you one. But much to your misfortune, you know those lips are the same lips that kiss his other scandals. He is not ashamed of the fact he is cheating on you. This fact is as clear as day. He even kisses one of his scandals in front of you and introduces you as his friend. He knows you are too kind to prohibit him from cheating because you love him a lot. His relationship with you only happen on impulse. He never care about your feelings since he lacks emotional attachment.

"You don't like my attitude? Okay, then. Let's break up."

"We're not married so I don't belong to you."

JYUBEI ARYU

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ He doesn't exactly have prominent red flags that make him an entirely toxic person but some part of his behavior irritates you sometime. He loves his appearance and his hair is his pride and joy. He wants you look good as well so sometime he offers you advice on fashion and dressing style. He keeps pestering you to take good care of your appearance until you get very annoyed with him. This gets really bad to the extent you feel like he never appreciate you for who you are and try to turn you into his ideal lover who can stand on the same level as him. He tells you to follow his steps so you can become as stylish at him. It gets irritating really irritating that sometime you treat him harshly. Even though he actually means well and only wishes to bring out the best from you.

"Hey, (Name), I bought this new skincare product. It can help with your acne problem."

"I'm not...saying you look hideous. I just want my love to look good."

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes, interaction and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

“IN THE WAKE OF STARS” he realized he's at wrong, but at what cost?

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ oneshot

࿐*ೃ feat : michael kaiser

࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock

࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst

࿐*ೃ trigger warning : toxic relationship, major angst

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ YOU never imagined that love could feel like this — like standing at the edge of a cliff, heart in your throat, staring into a void of unspoken words and lost time. Yet, here you are, watching him — Michael — the man you’ve loved for two years, the man who made you feel like you weren’t even real anymore.

“You’re always so clingy,” he spits the words like they’re a chore to say. "It’s pathetic."

It wasn’t always like this. You remember the early days, when his smile lit up rooms and his laughter was like music you could dance to. Michael, with his blond hair tousled perfectly, his sharp eyes full of ambition, was intoxicating. He had a fire in him, a drive to be better, to be more than everyone else.

You admired him for that, at first. Maybe you even envied him a little. But the closer you got to him, the more you realized how fragile that confidence was, how much of it was a performance for the world. And as that fragile arrogance grew, so did his cruelty.

Michael would stand in front of the mirror, tracing the blue rose tattoo on his neck, a symbol he claimed was for achieving the impossible. You would stand in the doorway, trying to remind him that he didn’t need to be impossible for you. You just wanted him to be there. To be present.

But he wasn’t. Not for you.

“You should’ve known what you were getting into,” he said once, during one of those long nights where you barely spoke, and when you did, it was only to wound each other. “I’m not like anyone else. I’m going to be the best. And you? You’re just… here.”

Just here. That was all you’d become to him — an afterthought. An accessory to his rise, nothing more. Your heart twisted every time he looked at you like that, like you were nothing. But still, you stayed. You thought if you could just be patient, if you could love him enough, he’d eventually see you again. The way he did in the beginning.

But Michael’s world didn’t have space for anyone else. He was the star of his own life, and everyone else, including you, was just a background actor. And yet, you stayed.

Until the night it all fell apart.

“Are you cheating on me?” His voice was cold, devoid of any warmth or trust. The accusation hit you like a punch to the stomach.

“What?” Your voice cracked, disbelief flooding your chest. “Michael, I would never—”

“Don’t lie to me.” He leaned in, his blue eyes hard, piercing, a storm of jealousy and superiority brewing in their depths. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been talking to Alexis. Do you think I’m stupid?”

Tears stung your eyes. You had only talked to Alexis because he was one of the few people who actually saw you, who noticed how small and invisible you had become in Michael’s shadow.

“I’m not cheating on you, Michael,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “But maybe if you paid more attention to me, you wouldn’t feel so threatened by someone who actually listens.”

For a moment, his expression faltered. Just for a second, you saw something human flicker in his eyes — doubt, fear, something close to regret. But then it was gone, replaced by that same arrogance.

“If you can’t be loyal, then leave,” he said, stepping back, his tone dismissive. “I don’t need you.”

That was it. That was the moment you broke.

Something inside you shattered, something that had been holding you together all this time. You weren’t angry anymore; you were just empty. Hollow. His words no longer had the power to hurt you because you had nothing left to feel.

So you left.

You packed your things that night, your hands shaking but your heart numb. Michael didn’t try to stop you. He didn’t say a word. And you didn’t look back.

Days turned into weeks, and you found yourself drifting closer to Alexis. He was kind, gentle, and in the quiet moments you spent together, you remembered what it felt like to be seen. To be heard.

Michael noticed. Of course he did.

At first, he didn’t care. Why should he? He was Michael Kaiser, the man who couldn’t be touched by anyone. But then he saw you laughing with Alexis. He saw the way your eyes lit up, the way you smiled — a smile he hadn’t seen in months, if not longer.

And suddenly, it hit him. The loneliness. The emptiness. The realization that the person he had taken for granted, the one who had always been there, was now smiling for someone else.

One evening, he showed up at your door.

"Y/n." His voice was softer than you remembered, quieter. “We need to talk.”

You stared at him, the man who had once been your whole world, standing there like a ghost of the past. You didn’t want to let him in. But some part of you, that old part that still remembered the good times, hesitated.

So you let him in.

“I’ve been thinking,” he began, pacing the room like a caged animal. “About us. About… me.”

You stayed silent, arms crossed over your chest. You couldn’t trust your voice, couldn’t trust yourself not to break down if you spoke.

“I was wrong,” he said finally, stopping to look at you. There was something in his eyes now that you hadn’t seen before — vulnerability. “I pushed you away. I got so caught up in trying to be… something, I didn’t see what I was doing to you.”

“Kaiser,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s too late.”

He flinched as though your words had physically hit him. “No. It’s not. We can fix this. I can fix this. I’ll do better, I swear.”

You shook your head, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “You don’t understand. I loved you, Michael. I gave you everything I had, and it still wasn’t enough for you.”

His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I know, and I’m sorry. I was— I was so focused on surpassing everyone, I didn’t realize I was leaving you behind.”

You took a shaky breath, trying to hold yourself together. “Do you even hear yourself? You still think this is about you. It’s always been about you.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He stood there, frozen, as the truth settled in.

“You can’t fix this,” you said, your voice breaking. “I’m broken, Kaiser. Because of you.”

He stepped forward, desperate now, his arrogance gone, replaced by something raw and desperate. “Please, Y/n. I’ll change. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

But it was too late. The cracks he had put in you had run too deep. The love you once had for him was gone, buried beneath the weight of his indifference, his cruelty. You had nothing left to give.

“I can’t,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Michael stood there, watching you cry, watching the last remnants of your relationship crumble before his eyes. And for the first time in his life, he wasn’t the star. He was just another person who had lost the one thing that mattered.

You turned away from him, your heart shattered but resolute. This was the end.

And as he walked out of your life, you couldn’t help but wonder if he finally understood what it felt like to be left behind.

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this short scenario! likes, interaction and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

"We're over... "

♥︎Blue lock boys and how they deal with their relationship breaking♥︎

Bachira continues a light facade. You want to break up with him? Yeah, he heard you. He knows what's going on. You want to end things? He's starting to distance himself and communication is failing. Okay, fine. Try to survive without his hoodies. Want one more night of fun before you two end things? It's only when you've packed your bags, and he's all alone again that he breaks. There's no one beside him, and it's all his fault.

Reo goes straight to aggression and denial. He can't win you back then he wants you out of his sight. He's already packed your things, separated your things and his, he makes sure the your home looks like a ghost of what it used to. He wants all traces of you gone, he wants you gone. At night, he holds the ring he planned to propose with against his chest and swallows his cries in your once joyful bedroom. He doesn't need you, he repeats again and again, and he doesn't want you.

Nagi plays the fool. Okay, so you two are over? You're tired of having to force him to do this and go on dates, yeah, he understands. Does that mean you two can't go out together? Does that mean he has to move out? Help you move out? That's too much work, just stay together. He's been forcing himself along the entire time, what's the problem? Why are you crying? Why are you leaving him? Why does he feel so hurt? He tries to sink into the couch, relax, but he aches for you. What can he do?

Rin gets what he wants in the worst way. He knows he's been obsessing over soccer. Knows that he's pushed you to second again and again and again. You're not happy with your relationship, then leave. Oh, you're leaving, of course you are. Everyone does. Go on, pack your bags. He likes it better when there's quiet at home instead of your incessant whining. The house is too quiet though. He keeps looking at your spot in the stadium. For the first time in years, all he can focus on is soccer. For the first time, it's not enough.

Chigiri lets his melanchy overwhelm. You can't deal his cynicism then leave. Want to fix the problems in his relationships. You're bothering. Want to be by his side? How dare you? It would be better if you left him alone. He hates how you're always by his side like a goddamn parasite- you drain his energy like one too. When you leave, no one cheers encouraging things at him anymore. No one checks up on him. No one brightens his day like you did. His leg aches, it's far from the worst pain he's feeling.

Sae pushes you away. You were always getting too close, seeing something under his perfectly made mask that no one else did. It infuriates him, he can't have anyone seeing all his cracks and fractures. His disgusting imperfections. You're pushing him away now- good- that's what he wanted. If he needed a warm bed, he would ask his thousands of groupies anyway. The house is cold and no one is there to see how hideous he is. All his fears and insecurities are locked in him again. His heart refreezes, and he shivers when he gets into bed without your warmth. This is what he gets for falling in love.

"Please don't leave me... "

♥︎Possible breakup, how do Blue Lock boys fight for you? ♥︎

Don't leave is on the tip of Isagi's tongue but he can't say it. How do you make something right when you've screwed up everything? What do you do when the love of your life is slipping from you and you don't have the words to tell them that they can't leave? Does he even deserve you? He pushes away the thoughts that tell him to let you go. That says it's not worth it. He'll keep trying, makes sure to show you how much he loves you. You're perfect, astounding, spectacular. He knows that he doesn't deserve you but he needs you. Please don't leave.

Okay is what Bachira says, but he doesn't want you to leave. Don't you know how much you mean to him? How much you've changed his life. He was so alone without you, you've completed him and have made him so unbelievably happy. You guys might not spend as much time together but don't you know how precious you are to him. He takes off, any game, any event, nothing is as important as you. He needs to show his love. How important you to him. You've changed his life for the better and he can't let you go now.

Considers it. Just for a minute. Just a second. Nagi knows that things have been getting so strained lately. The usual casualty of your relationship has become forced. It's taking so much effort lately to keep the love alive, it's so difficult to make keep things good. Wouldn't everything be better if you just left. His heart aches at the thought. Thinking of you not by his side makes him feel like someone covered him in gasoline and threw a match on him. He doesn't care how much effort he has to put in. You're worth it. He can't lose you.

Not going to happen. You can't break up with him. You can't leave him. Don't you know how much you mean to him. What you've done for him- to him. He's nothing without you, all his riches and treasures mean jackshit if you're not by his side. He wants to be the one to make you happy, always wants to be the reason for your smile. He's throwing money left and right, he's making sure you always know how much he values you. Reo would break if you left him, so please don't.

Don't you know... How much you mean to him. How close you two have become. How much you matter to him. Rin knows that he's not the best at expressing his feelings. Knows he's closed off and he's horrible with emotions, but don't you know... He loves you. Please don't leave. Please.

"He's new..."

♥︎ Blue lock boys see you moving on (Part 2 to "We're Over...") ♥︎

For @furiousenemylover, sorry for doing this so late! Life gets in the way.

Bachira sinks into denial. Of course you would end up with Isagi. His best friend spoils and loves you. He doesn't play around with your emotions the way he used to. He takes you seriously, respects and adores you the way you deserve. He supports your relationship completely. He sinks his nails so deep into his skin that it leaves behind red crest marks, lips swollen because of how deep his teeth are sinking into them, and his throat is closes, practically blocked out, but it's all fine. Ignore the red in his eyes. It's not a big deal.

Reo throws himself into a new relationship, who cares that you're now involved with Nagi. You guys dated for a bit and now you're over, you're allowed to be with other people. Nagi is one of his closest friends and he's so happy that you two are together. He's engaged, with a woman that's going to help his company prosper and give him political power. He doesn't need you anymore- doesn't even think of you. Forget the fact that he keeps his eyes on you throughout the entirety of his wedding. The ring that was meant to be for you, rusting away in his pocket, but never thrown out.

Nagi takes too long to realise that this really happening. He can't play the fool forever, eventually reality starts to hit and it's an extremely painful revelation. He sees you with Reo and that's when it all comes crashing down. He loves his best friend, but seeing you two hand in hand makes his stomach turn. He loved you so much- how could he let you go? Let the best thing in his life just slip from his fingers? He should have fought for you, but he didn't. And now it's too late.

Rin throws himself into soccer. This is all he has now, he can't waste it. He aggravates his teammates, yells at fans, starts fights with referees because of how horribly violent he's become while playing. He gets injured, but he plays anyway. The pain doesn't matter. It's seeing you with Sae of all people that breaks him. His brother, prioritising something besides soccer and you looking so happy tears him apart. He can't do it anymore. He doesn't care if doing this much kills him. He can't handle all this pain.

Chigiri tries to take care of himself, but he's drowning in his sorrows. Nothing with him is the same. His clothes are a little ruffled, hairs are out of place, he's not the same person that he was before your breakup. You being with Kunigami makes him want to scream. You're with someone better then he'll ever be. If he was barely taking care of himself before, now he's nothing. He lost you, what's the point? His cynicism has been proven true.

Sae has frozen his heart. He's always been cruel but he doesn't bother to restrain it anymore. He doesn't need or want anyone's support, he's not going through anything. He's fine. You're with Shido now, and he doesn't hide his critique. It's pathetic, disgusting, relationships only hold you back from what's most important. They accept me completely' Shido says and he bites his tongue so hard that the coppery taste of blood fills his mouth. Somehow, the pain is comforting. He doesn't say more, but his head is flooded with want and desire. What could have been. It's fine. He can push it all away.

Narcissus Game

Angst? — In which the resident heartbreaking womanizers of Blue Lock get played at their own game by some random girl. [Author's Note]: This came about because I was thinking about making an OC that matched Aiku and Otoya's energy, so that's why this is centered around those two, but you could honestly switch out the one time I mentioned their names for someone else. Anyway, I got carried away with my thinking and planning, which brings us here to this imagine. Enjoy(?)!

She was someone who fit their standards and matched the description of their ideal types, though Otoya's preferences change a lot, so maybe she doesn't actually, but he did say his type was someone bright and honest, and she was exactly that. A refreshingly bright and honest girl who was very charming and charismatic, too. Y'know, the one who can say the most shocking and outrageous things and get away with it because that's just how she is. Aiku's type is someone who looks like they aren't a hassle to break up with, and she's exactly that. Cute with an easygoing vibe, she was popular and constantly surrounded by people. The type who'd draw others in like a moth to a flame, and that's how she gets them.

Like all their flings, it was nothing serious. Just a few dates, maybe a bit of intimacy here and there, but it was all for fun.

Perhaps a bit too fun, like a game. One that they would all want to play over and over and over again.

That's why there were others in their so-called relationship, but she never bat an eye over them. Makeup? Clothes? Perfume? Hairties? Another woman in her entirety? Absolutely nothing. Seeing her ignore the constant affairs was kind of sweet, if not downright pathetic.

Nonetheless, to these egoists, it was like a dream come true.

Surely, she just loved them so much that she turned a blind eye to everything. No, she has to. Just like that, whether they were aware of it or not, their affairs started to dwindle, and they never took it too far because they were sure of it.

She had to be the one.

It isn't until they see her with the other that their dreams become a nightmare. But it made sense. Neither one of them paid much attention to her, and why would she hound them if she also had a plethora of lovers herself? These poor boys, so full of themselves that they couldn't even fathom being sidepieces as well, and the fact that she perfectly matched their ideal type just added salt to the wound.

Maybe it was because they loved her that she was so bright to them at the moment that it burned as she gave them the most honest and brutal breakup they'd ever experienced with no hassle. Or perhaps it was because they were sore losers who knew that with the two of them, love was a game, and she just won. All because they fell for the behavior she reflected back at them, like the narcissists they were.

michael kaiser who has dreams of a life surrounded by love—growing up with the mom who abandoned him and a father who had not buried his life in alcohol and abuse.

michael kaiser who yearns to be loved but believes he is incapable of reciprocating it. born to a life of misery, he knows he is a bad person and knows he has lost himself to the same hatred he had despised as a child.

michael kaiser who meets you and is fearful of how to approach you. he tentatively steps around his feelings, knowing that if he gets too close, he will burn your relationship as he had with all others.

michael kaiser who sneers and turns away from you, guilt poisoning his heart but he is incapable of confronting his vulnerability.

michael kaiser who argues with you every time he sees you. he admires how you're headstrong and refuses to take in his bullshit. he wants to love you how you deserve but all he can do is grossly hope you realize this is the love he knows.

michael kaiser who wants to heal for you but refuses to confront his trauma. karma is knowing he is ruthless and disgusting, being seen as a cruel emperor incapable of forming a positive connection.

michael kaiser who no longer speaks to you through words, but through eyes of longing and yearning. he sees the way your heart breaks with his as you turn away; you deserve better and both of you understand.

kaiser who went home that night and looked into the mirror, seeing a boy named michael in the streets of berlin wishing to be loved, only to not know how.

michael kaiser who wishes to be anyone but himself

Loving you was a loosing game...

Angst collab with @saelique ༊࿐

A/n:Hey lovesss!! This is my work for Cinna's angst collab with Reo Mikage<33 i hope you all enjoy and go check out her collab💜

Genre:angst/no comfort Pairing:Reo Mikage Type:one shot

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Did you know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Reo? Yes. Or at least that's what you thought. You knew about your boyfriend's love towards his best friend amd you didn't really mind it, well you didn't.

Him and Nagi were spending way much more time together, since they got interested in football. You again don't mind it that much, after all he is your boyfriend and you want him to be happy. But at the same time-it wasn't fair. You knew Reo longer than Nagi did and he most of time was somehow ignoring you. He didn't do it on purpose, right? No. He wouldn't do that.

Now you were sitting in class thinking about that, while Reo and Nagi were a seat ahead of you. Of course Nagi was sleeping. Your thoughts were interrupted by the bell ringing. You packed your things and started walking through the door. You thought about waiting for Reo, but he was already busy trying to wake up Nagi from his hibernation.

Days has been awfully quiet. Still pushing though aside you decided to meet with your boyfriend so things could get back to how they were. You texted him quickly to meet up tomorrow since it was a friday evening. He replied faster than usual and agreed. You smiled and put your phone away. Well, time for getting homework done for tomorrow.

You're getting ready for the "date", well at least sort of a date. But it didn't matter it was finally time for you hang out with your boyfriend. You came to the location, patiently waiting for Reo. Waiting.. waiting..ughhhhh.... Okay, okay, calm down.. training might just hold him up right? Just wait a bit longer and check out your phon- ... Nagi, Nagi, Nagi.. enough. You went straight home after his not even bothering to text Reo. He didn't text you either so it's gonna be that way.

Instead of saying something you started being cold to him, not giving him the same attention. Did he noticed that? You can't really tell which explains a lot, but still. You loved Reo and you thought he loved you too, but seems like his best friend was more important. You couldn't continue lying yourself so you decided thar it's time.

Talk to him? How? When there is not time hm? Football, Nagi, Football, Nagi. In that moment your parents bursted into the room. Your father got a different job in another city so you're moving out of here. Well just perfect.

The next day you remembered your boyfriend had a training so you decided to go and wait for him 'till he finishes it and talk to him. On your way there though you saw no other than Nagi himself who was being late because he slept in. As you approached him an idea popped in your mind. You took out a pen and a paper and after writing on it you gave it to Nagi asking him to give it to Reo. He agreed and went to his training.

There you are now. Sitting on your desk completely ignoring the topic the teacher is talking about. There is no one that you know in the desk in front you... You have blocked Reo's and number and all of his social medias, so you didn't know if he got the paper, but if he didn't he probably figured out what happened.

When break came you were on your phone, when you suddenly saw an article. "Blue lock project" amd there they were their names.

...

-Nagi Seishiro

-Reo Mikage

...

You smiled to yourself when you saw his name. Well at least now he have got the two things he loved the most in his live.

© mariaace 2024 please do not steal, copy, translate or plagiarize. Thank you.

I like it huhu😿😿😿 the feels. Every wording, so simple that you can understand every definition yet the way those words felt emotion so deep like the ocean😿

─── 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄

+ sae x f!reader | wc 4.9k | content: angst, fluff, some making out, implied sex, stupid teenager phase

notes: sobs this was not supposed to be this long … one of y’all need to stop me from writing about this man !! i love him too much, pls send help </3 extra: this is the song playing in the last scene :’)

summary: sae has few interests, and one of them is you. but sometimes, being special just isn’t enough.

you’ve always been special.

ever since age three when your family moved across the street from where the itoshis lived. ever since age five when you finally gathered the courage to talk to the pair of brothers. ever since age six when sae invited you to play with him and rin. ever since age seven when you cried because someone bullied you at the playground and sae wiped away your tears. ever since age ten when both of you played with paper rings. ever since age eleven when you and sae would talk endlessly at night through the phone and get nagged at by your parents when they found out.

ever since age twelve when you told sae you’d watch him become the best soccer player in the world by his side.

your presence bleeds into sae’s life and he can’t think about anything without relating it to you; like how his breakfast tastes like ass when you’re not smearing your stupid peanut butter on it because apparently peanut better goes well with everything is your phase at that point of time. like how he’s walking home and he’ll always have to crane his head to the right just to check if you’re on your front porch swing, because if you are, he’ll wave and then you’ll smile and wave back, and sae would feel like it’s a special code you two share.

you’re probably the only thing he pays his spare attention to. and rin. you, rin, soccer. that’s all.

you complain way too much, especially at the fact that sae doesn’t smile often. he counters, “that’s none of your business.”

and you tell him one day you’ll be the reason he smiles everyday.

sae thinks it’s kind of stupid though, because you already are. you just aren’t around to see it. he’ll probably never let you see it too. he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did.

it isn’t long before you’re age fifteen and graduating middle school and you’re excited to start high school. it didn’t really make a difference for sae, as long as he got to play soccer, he really couldn’t care less.

when you’re age sixteen you tell sae that a boy from class broke your heart because he didn’t accept your valentines’ chocolates. it was as good as a rejection, apparently. or whatever girl code says it is.

frankly, sae’s just offended. you’ve never given him any valentines’ shit. all of a sudden some no name guy is getting it?

maybe it’s true what people say, teenage girls cry over stupid things they consider love that’s not actually love. now you’re getting his soccer jersey wet with your tears and you’re crooning on and on about how boys suck but somehow sae’s still the best.

you’re sixteen and crying on sae’s shoulder, while he’s seventeen and wishing he could torture the son of a bitch who made you cry.

this is the closest you’ve ever been, physically. your heart’s not really broken because whoever you’re crying about has never really had it. but sae doesn’t know that.

teenage girls make really stupid decisions sometimes. and other times, they making stupid passing comments, like when you say “glad i didn’t let him kiss me. would suck for my first kiss to be with a dick who didn’t give a shit about me.”

sometimes teenage boys make stupid decisions too.

sae doesn’t really know what possesses him to do this, but he doesn’t stop it. he doesn’t stop his hand from reaching out to you, doesn’t stop his fingers from tilting your chin up. there’s only confusion in your eyes when he looks into them. there’s only hesitation in his.

sae’s not anything to you except for a childhood friend, and you’re not anything to him, except for one of the most beautiful people he’s ever met. that’s why he does this slowly, so you have time to stop this.

he has no right to do this. he wishes you would just stop him.

you’re both teenagers when sae becomes your first kiss, when your tears stain his cheeks and he tastes like the fruits he just ate. you’re both delirious off of the feeling, like neither of you want this to end because your lips stay connected even when you’re not moving, and your lashes are fluttering against one another’s and sae really wants to kiss you again.

but it’s late and your parents are probably the ones knocking on his door right now so he stops himself and pulls away while rin bounds down the stairs to open the door.

sae sees nothing but you, you and your pretty face and your pretty lips and your perfect perfect person.

“there, now your first kiss is with a dick who does care about you.”

it’s that same summer and you’ve forgotten all about the stupid boy that supposedly broke your heart. you have sae with you whenever he’s free, when he decides to bring you out after practice and explore rooftops to find the best view for the fireworks.

you’re not together, but it sure feels like you are.

then it’s autumn and the leaves are turning orange and red, and you swear you see sae’s cheeks and ears turn nearly the same shade when he holds your hand for the first time as you walk through the park, a white cat crossing in front of you.

sae blames it on his practice earlier and that he’s tired because there’s no way he’ll ever admit it’s because of you.

when winter comes, sae’s still taking care of you. nothing stops him from playing soccer, but nothing can stop him from finding you either. sae’s starting to regret his decisions when you force him to go ice skating and look at him expectantly whenever you see a mistletoe.

you’re a lot of work, maybe you’re worth it.

and then you kiss him again and he thinks yes, maybe he can do this. he can juggle soccer and you, it’ll magically work out.

finally it’s spring and you’re excited because you love the cherry blossoms, and sae thinks maybe he loves something else but he’s not going to go there yet. and while everyone’s watching the solar eclipse that one night, sae’s watching you.

for once, he wants to believe in superstitions, wants to believe what watching the solar eclipse means.

“what’s the matter?”

you’re always so perceptive. you’d make a great playmaker, he feels.

of course you pick up on the tension, barely a minute after you walk into his room. sae doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever this is, whether it’s love or something less, or maybe something more.

but it’s not a democracy, and the answer is crystal clear in sae’s mind. his answer’s always been the same, but it’s not like you don’t exist in his world.

“the club in spain gave me an offer.”

that’s all he needs to say to make you understand. and if you weren’t the most understanding person he knows, you might’ve reacted differently, but you’re still the same supportive, kind girl he met at age four.

“when do you go?” your voice is shaky and he knows you’re trying to hold it together.

sae’s sorry, really.

“next month.”

it’s not a lot of time, but probably enough to say goodbye. then you throw your arms around him and you work your magic, you say you want to try despite the distance, despite the unknown timeline. and who is sae if not someone who’d give it a try?

he’s not even sure he can ever say no to you.

it doesn’t seem real until the night before he leaves, because you’re eighteen and standing in his near barren room, everything already packed into boxes and loaded.

maybe it’s the fact he’ll be gone for a very long time, doesn’t know when he’ll see you again. maybe it’s the adrenaline rushing through his veins when he feels you pressed up against him. maybe it’s the fact he’s denying the depth of his feelings for you and it’s getting him frustrated.

or maybe it’s because he’s selfish and he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, just like how he gave you your first kiss.

he’s your first kiss, and he’ll be your first time, with your hands clawing at his clothes. and you’ll be his, with the way he’s grabbing onto your bare back so desperately.

you’re eighteen and you think nothing’s prettier than the sounds sae makes, especially when his lips are right next to your ear, with his hot breath fanning against you.

sae’s nineteen and he thinks you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted, in all sense of the word. he thinks you look pretty in pink, still pretty when you wear nothing too.

and suddenly sae thinks that maybe it doesn’t feel so crazy to think that the both of you might make it through this.

long distance can work for some people. but sometimes it’s just meant to drive two people further away.

sae’s gaining momentum in europe, and you’re proud of him. you’re proud of your boyfriend, doing his best and showing off his talents and having his hard work pay off.

you’re really, genuinely happy for him. but the bigger of a star he is, the further away he feels, and maybe it’s selfish of you to want him here, to want him to be just your neighbour itoshi sae like how things started out.

maybe it’s selfish and wishful thinking, but you can’t help yourself.

sometimes sae doesn’t even have time to look at his phone. he’s tired and overwhelmed and understandably too. and you feel guilty everytime you subject him to your insecurities.

but you’re nineteen and you don’t know better.

rin’s not much fun to hang around with, especially when he got more stoic and awkward. he’s like a mirror of his brother, and that may fool a lot of people, except you knew him before that. but you’re not going to butt your head in things that don’t concern you, so you leave him be.

and suddenly the itoshis seem further away than they’ve ever been. for the first time in your life, you’re not sure if trying will be enough anymore.

sae misses you. that’s whenever he has the free time to think, when he’s not hounded by trainings after trainings, when he’s not busy from day to night with whatever new training regime they’ve got him on.

is he aware that he’s probably being the world’s worst boyfriend now? yes. but sae can’t force himself to choose that over his dreams. can’t force himself not to choose soccer.

[17:08] she’s fine, idk what you’re worried about.

rin’s message doesn’t alleviate his worries. sae knows you better than anyone, and he doesn’t believe you’re fine.

[08:08] hey sae :)

[17:34] going to bed now, gn!! &lt;3

sae stares at your message for a while in the locker room, while everyone else is showering. you’ve cooled off on the pet names, you’re worried you’re overstepping. you’re worried he’s lost his feelings.

he’s not.

he’d be crazy to.

but he can’t find the energy to convince himself that this would turn out fine. he can’t convince himself that he’s not hurting you every single day by not being able to be everything you need, by not being able to be physically there for you.

this half-assed relationship isn’t what you deserve. and where he is right now, with his bird’s eye view of the world, he doesn’t know if he can ever give you anything else.

[17:49] goodnight. call you tomorrow.

the moment sae breaks up with you, you feel like that kid at sixteen all over again, except this time you don’t have your favourite person’s shoulder to cry on and this time it’s actually love.

all you can think of when you hear him pick up the phone is that morning right before he left for the airport, how his hair’s a mess and how his lashes are way too pretty and how he sounded when he’s all groggy and tired.

but then he tells you the one thing you do not want to hear, and the illusion is shattered into pieces.

“this isn’t working out.”

“what are you talking about?” he’s silent, and you’re anxious. “we’re fine, sae.”

you can hear him sighing over the phone. you so desperately want to fix this, and so does sae but he can’t think of anything more selfish than to ask you to wait for him until he’s ready—he knows what’s the right thing to do. it sucks, but he’s made up his mind.

“that’s bullshit, y/n,” he responds, calmly, and you feel him slipping further and further from you.

“i- look, i-i know it’s hard but we can—”

“give it a break, woman,” sae chuckles, low and deep, and you’re beginning to doubt that you know him at all right now. “we’re done.”

the dial tone is all you can hear after that.

twenty years old is where you have your first actual heartbreak.

and all that talk about how time heals all feels like bullshit when you’re right in the middle of it all. five days in and you’re still a wreck. twenty days later and you’re still staring at the pictures you and sae took together. a month passes and you’re visiting the places you went to together. just a sad, pathetic girl crying on the benches, reliving what she once had.

three months later you’re still watching his matches on tv. you’re still cheering for him inside. four months later and it’s sae’s birthday and he doesn’t even respond to your birthday message. half a year after the breakup and you finally stop crying when you think of him.

but it’s easy to delude yourself when you’re not in the presence of what you grieve. because eight months after you broke up, you see reports that sae’s dating a sports photographer. the next few days, a picture is released of them kissing in a restaurant.

then you get glimpses of other girls being able to be intimate with him. other girls getting to taste his lips and feel his love. other girls getting his attention when that right used to solely belong to you.

and you’ve never felt worse.

“why so glum?”

sae blinks at the woman, indifferent. he can’t even remember her name.

“nadia,” she says, like she’s reading his goddamn mind, holding her hand out. “i’ve been your team’s photographer for a few months now.”

sae shakes her hand out of courtesy because he really doesn’t want his publicist to chew him out again. “didn’t ask.”

“you know, you’re a lot more crabby these days,” she comments, and it’s like he can see the lightbulb going off in her head. “oh, is it girlfriend issues?”

“i don’t have one, so shut it.”

“come on, i promise i’m good at making people forget.” she says this so seductively that sae’s a little disturbed. he just wants to get this shoot done with and go home, maybe even check up on you a little. all in incognito mode, of course, because he can’t risk you knowing he still cares. can’t risk getting your hopes up.

somehow the stars have spent all their time aligning sae’s soccer career and everything else is in tatters because his publicist forces him to take nadia up on her offer and go out with her.

what was supposed to be a one time thing turned out to be something more. she wasn’t even close to you, but she could be close. turns out when he’s not being such a dick, nadia can be moderately interesting.

different, maybe that’s what he needs.

he thinks back to when she kissed him on their first date. sae still finds himself hoping you didn’t see that.

but no, he’s not in love with you anymore. sae’s officially an adult at twenty-one and he’s still the same stubborn guy in denial because he’s looking at pictures of you while nadia’s sitting right next to him.

it’s not healthy, it really isn’t.

you’re twenty-one now and you’re actually going on a date with the sole intention of trying to get over the one and only itoshi sae.

can you even trust your friend? all you know is that the guy is a friend of a best friend’s and that’s all she told you.

“my best friend’s a good guy, so by extension, so is his best friend,” was all she said.

now you’re here, at the amusement park, waiting for your date to show himself because apparently, in your friend’s bid for suspense, she was reluctant to share anything about him except that he’s dreamy and pretty and that his friend describes him as a genius.

and also “oh, he’s a soccer player too so that’s right up your alley, right?”

when the call from date guy comes in (because to stop you from profiling your date she also didn’t give you his name), you kind of like his voice.

“hey, where are you?”

you find out his name is nagi. and that he’s only here because reo stole his switch and he won’t give it back until the date’s over. which kind of works because you tell him you’re only here because you wanted to get over someone.

to which he says it’s a hassle.

there’s nothing you expect out of this, but then you find yourself enjoying your date.

it’s clear by the first fifteen minutes why nagi chose this place to meet. he’s absurdly good at games. he’s won you tons of plushies that you had to give away to some very happy kids. it’s a pattern; every game that he doesn’t know, he only loses once and then he proceeds to dominate.

no wonder his friend calls him a genius.

with nagi it’s easy, fluid. you’ve been spending the whole night there with him, playing together and eating together—well, mostly it’s just you feeding nagi because it turns out he finds a lot of things a hassle.

three days later, you find out that apparently you’re not a hassle in his books. not really, because he asks you out again.

it’s irrational.

sae shouldn’t be this bothered, but he is. he hates seeing your stupid updates about how you’re on a date with this nagi guy. he hates seeing your posts with the two of you wearing matching sweaters for christmas.

he gives it a like.

nadia’s already gone. sae doesn’t have time or energy to waste on people that don’t matter. and you shouldn’t matter. not right now. but here he is, wishing the circumstances were different.

if you and nadia switched places. if you had something to bring you to spain. it’s fucking selfish, he knows. doesn’t stop him from wishing for it. he can’t think of anyone else like how he thinks of you. doesn’t want to.

he really is clueless about everything outside of soccer, because he’s twenty-two when he realises that no one could ever make him forget about you, and maybe he should just live with it.

sae turns twenty-three when he’s in the running for being the world’s best midfielder. he’s gotten rid of the hopes of moving on and he’ll just fake it till he makes it.

maybe that’s why this year is particularly special to him. or maybe it’s because for the first time in a long while, you wish him happy birthday.

at midnight, in japan. because you’re thoughtful that way.

this time he responds.

thanks. how r u?

it’s criminal how easy it is for you to get his heart beating like this. he sees you typing and it’s enough to lift his mood.

great, school’s kicking my ass though.

sae finds himself wishing that he could hear your voice right now. for some stupidly non-complex reason that he finds completely absurd.

i saw your match last week, good game, genius.

fuck. after all this time, he still wants you.

his fingers type i miss you, just for the hell of it. just to see it there on his screen before he inevitably deletes it and replaces it with something mediocre like thanks or i know.

because he can’t just say that after being the one who broke things off. he can’t do that when he still thinks it won’t work out.

all he does is sigh and hit the delete button—except fuck, he accidentally hit send. and he would’ve deleted it if you weren’t already online and read it and he sees you typing for a moment before you stop completely and go offline.

sae has never felt more numb.

it’s been three months since sae said he missed you. you still can’t get that out of your head. the most upfront he’s been about his feelings and he chooses then of all times to be honest?

when your boyfriend was right beside you?

maybe it was your fault. you didn’t even know why you wished him a happy birthday. maybe you missed him too and was just lying to yourself.

god, maybe you’re the asshole in this after all. did you really love nagi? or was he just exceptionally well at making you forget? you really really like him, that’s all you know.

“hey, what’s wrong?” nagi’s looking at you, pushing his hair back, and you can’t help but think you’re lucky to have him these past few months.

but the turmoil inside you wins, and maybe you understand a little bit of how sae felt that night when he broke up with you.

it’s not fair to nagi for you to do this, but it’s not fair to him either to keep him around.

“we need to talk.”

it’s a surreal feeling, to be back in japan.

sae was nineteen when he left. now he’s twenty-seven when he breathes the tokyo air again. he lugs around his carry-on baggage because he’s not staying here for long. not yet. he’s coming back soon, and he doesn’t really know why. he’s milked everything he could from spain, from the rest of europe, some of the americas, and maybe he’s homesick now.

plain and simple.

the cab driver asks him why he looks so sharp, and he simply says, “wedding.”

it’s been seven years since he broke up with you. and your grip on him is as firm as ever. a grip he’ll never let you know you have on him because he’s made this mistake before—said i miss you and then scared you away.

by the next day he couldn’t even find you online because everything is wiped and maybe you hate him, hate his guts. that’s fine. he can live with that.

to him, you’re still the same lovable person as you were at age five. still the same girl at age sixteen that he fell in love with. you’re still his person and it’s fine if he has to just admire you from afar.

when he arrives, he takes a long hard look around the room, filled with guests socialising and drinking their wines and it’s so pathetic but he’s wondering if you’re still around. he’s late, and it’s his plane’s fault but it’s no use playing the blame game.

“hey,” rin calls out when he sees his brother. “you missed the ceremony.”

“yeah, stupid plane got delayed,” sae says, mind still distracted.

rin formally introduces his new wife to sae and she seems nice, polite, the kind that can put his brother in his place if she needs to. that’s nice. sae can’t help envisioning you in the wedding dress though. you’d look nice.

nicer if he was the one beside you.

“oh! as a gift to my now brother-in-law, i have a friend i want to set you up with,” she grins, and as much of an ass that sae is, he just figures he’ll reject the poor girl later. for now, he’ll entertain his new sister-in-law.

rin claps him on the shoulder before smirking and walking off, presumably to get a drink because no matter how much rin has changed, sae doubts he’ll ever become friendly enough to mingle in this crowd.

sae feels someone poking his shoulder and turns around, first to find his sister-in-law grinning from ear to ear, and next to find you next to her, just like he remembers.

pretty in pink, stupid bashful smile, still fucking beautiful.

“have fun,” rin’s wife says before she walks off with a knowing look. she’s already winning points with sae for bringing you to him.

“hey, genius,” you try to suppress your smile but it’s not working.

he thinks he’s dreaming. he’s not. he’s here. and so are you. and this might just be what he missed all this time.

you hold your hand out and he takes it wordlessly, obediently. sae follows you to the dance floor, trying to calm his erratic heartbeats, savouring the feeling of your hand in his once again, remembering that moment back in autumn when he first felt it.

when you wrap your hands around his neck and he wraps his around your waist, it feels like finally, something is real. like there’s something in this country that can really keep him here this time. because now he’s twenty-seven and he finally understands, he’s always loved you but he’s never been ready until now.

“can’t believe you let your brother get married before you,” you say, sarcasm because you’re breaking into a grin. “he actually beat you at something.”

sae pouts slightly, averting his gaze. “what’s the big deal anyway?”

you shrug. “i’d have thought you’d be the first. maybe with one of the girls you met abroad or something.”

there’s a certain bitterness in your tone that he likes, only because it means you minded all this time. the thought of him with someone else. he suddenly remembers something, and searches the room for a familiar face.

gray eyes meet his teal ones before they turn away, disinterested.

“you sure your boyfriend won’t mind you dancing with your ex?”

“probably not, since i don’t have one.” you smirk, sensing the bitterness in his tone too. it’s funny, seeing sae jealous like this.

he has no reason to though, since you broke up with nagi after being honest with yourself—that you’re not over sae and you probably never will be. you’d decided to just live with your decision.

“shame. thought you guys looked cute in those matching sweaters.”

so that was a jealous like, you think to yourself.

“thought you looked cute with that sports photographer girl too, kissing and all,” you say, though it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. “why didn’t that work out?”

for the first time in his life, sae decides to be outright honest with you—

“because she’s not you.” because everytime she said his name, he’d overlay it with your voice in his head. because everytime she’d tried to get close, he’d resent her more for not being you. because no matter how hard anyone tries, they will never be you and that will never work, not for sae.

—to a certain degree.

he’s twenty-seven when he’s finally old enough to understand that it was never a problem with feelings because he’s always loved you all the same all this time. it was just a matter of being ready at the right time. it’s like luck in the world of soccer, where coincidences can only fall to those who are prepared.

and he’s here now. he’s ready.

call him crazy for thinking you’re on the same page because you’re getting closer and closer and closer.

“itoshi sae,” you whisper his name against his lips and he’s reminded of the first time he had you. you drive him crazy and he thinks he’ll keep on letting you. “i missed you too.”

you did. you used to be too young and inexperienced to put yourself in sae’s shoes. too young and naive thinking emotions were enough for two people to stay. sometimes, some things just aren’t meant to be… in the moment. and other times, when you’re both ready, everything suddenly falls into place.

you were sixteen when sae first kissed you. now ten years later, ten years wiser, you kiss again, and this feels significantly better than before. because now you both know.

sae has known you ever since you were three. and he thinks he’ll keep on knowing you, every day, every hour, every minute. he wants to know you forever. and he’s thinking maybe that superstition worked out after all. maybe it was destined to be like this all along.

two people coming together and falling apart only to end up in each other’s arms.

and he thinks fuck superstition, fuck the white cats and solar eclipses and everything else. even if things threaten not to work, this time he’ll make it work.

sae’s known you for so long he overlooked one simple thing. when he kisses you even deeper and is greeted with your lips smiling against his, he knows.

he hasn’t become the world’s best soccer player yet, but when he does, you’ll be by his side.

one day those paper rings the both of you played with when you were little would be real.

you’ve always been special, and you always will be.

now he’s finally home.