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Prompt - ‘Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red.’

Notes - Smut

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun.

You had liked Sirius for months now, it was easy to like him. He was charming, charismatic, one flash of that smile had you weak in the knees - you and every other girl at Hogwarts. Sirius wasn’t an idiot, he knew the effect he had on the girls and nobody was surprised when he had a new girl on his arm every week.

You had never been one of those girls and even though you knew it was terrible to want to be, you couldn't deny that given the chance you would be his girl of the week. This week it was a girl in your year, you didn’t particularly like her but seeing her on Sirius’ lap made you roll your eyes as you passed them, neither of them noticing you as they made out on the bench they were on.

“Party at Gryffindor tower tonight, you in?” Your friend asked you as you rounded the corner.

The thought of saying no crossed your mind, not wanting to spend the night obsessing over Sirius but something within you was nagging you to go.

“Sure.” You agreed, watching as your friend grinned at you and began talking about outfits.

You tuned her out all the way to potions and spent the rest of the lesson trying to push Sirius out of your mind.

By the time the party rolled around you were ready to cancel but somehow your friends ended up pushing you into going. As you entered the common room you couldn’t help but relax as the music and laughter washed over you.

“Let’s get a drink.” Someone from your group said and it wasn’t long before one drink turned into four and you were feeling the full effect of the alcohol coursing through your veins.

You found yourself in the middle of the common room which was being used as a dance floor, letting the music guide your movements. You weren’t sure just how much time had passed before you felt an arm slip around your waist and a warm body pressing up against your back.

“Having fun?” You recognised Sirius’ voice straight away, his tone deep and low as he pulled you further against him, dancing rhythmically against you. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin as his lips pressed against your neck in a gentle kiss.

You couldn’t help but turn your head upwards, giving him better access. You could feel him smirk against you before he obliged and began pressing kisses into your skin, you bit your lip before gasping as you felt him suck on the delicate skin. He kept sucking and let his arms that were still wrapped around your waist explore your body, one trailed upwards, brushing over your breast and the other went downwards, resting on the top of your thigh.

The feeling of him sucking on your neck was more intense than you would have ever thought, that mixed with his hands on your body had you letting out an involuntary whimper. You were more than aware that you were still in the middle of the common room but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when Sirius Black was pressed up behind you, finally noticing you.

You let out another whimper as Sirius let his teeth graze against the spot he’d been sucking before pulling away, not going far, and whispered in your ear.

“How about we head upstairs?” You couldn’t have said no even if you wanted to, something about him was addicting and now that you’d had a taste you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go.

At your nod he pressed another kiss to your neck before pulling away and guiding you up the stairs. You had no idea how the stairs let you into the boys dorm but the thought left your mind as soon as it had entered.

Once you were in the boys dorm and the door was shut, Sirius pinned you against it, wasting no time in crashing his lips against yours, the kiss was raw, it was desperate and needy. Your hands were finally tangled in his long hair as his hands gripped your face and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Sirius pulled away from you, a trail of spit keeping the two of you attached to each other before his lips connected with your neck again. Your head hit the wooden door behind you as you threw it back, moaning in pleasure as he wasted no time sucking at different spots on your neck.

Your cheeks were flushed as Sirius finished up on your neck, trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, along your collarbone before stopping at the top of your shirt. His fingers found the hem and he was quick to pull it over your head, leaving you standing in your bra.

You watched him lick his lips before he helped you take the bra off, his mouth going straight for your breast. He took one in his mouth, as his hand came up to knead the other. You moaned at the stimulation, your hands coming up to grip his hair as he showed no signs of slowing down, though you did feel him smirk against you.

When Sirius pulled away you had no time to recover as his lips found yours again. As he kissed you hard, hard enough to bruise, he pulled you away from the door and, without pulling away, blindly led you over to his bed.

It wasn’t long before you were underneath him, Sirius in between your legs as he continued to kiss you. It was rushed and animalistic and you couldn’t get enough. You pushed your hips up, letting yourself brush against his dick causing you both to moan into the kiss.

Sirius took the hint and pulled away, his hands trailing down your stomach and stopping at the top of your jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning them and helped pull them down before throwing them off to the side of the room.

With the adrenaline and alcohol pumping through your system you had no time to feel self conscious, though you did pull his shirt off of him as you saw he was still fully clothed and you were laying there in your panties that were already beginning to get wet.

Sirius was quick to strip out of his own clothes before turning his attention back to you, pressing his lips against yours again. He let his hands trail down, brushing against your panties and smirking as he felt the wetness through them.

“Feel good, baby?” He asked, nipping at your jawline. You couldn’t reply, just let out a loud, needy moan as his fingers gently stroked you through your underwear.

Sirius wasted no time in lowering himself so his face was between your legs. He pressed a kiss against your thigh before hooking his fingers around your panties, pulling them off and tossing them out into the room.

You were a moaning mess as Sirius attached his lips to your clit, his fingers still brushing against you as he sucked and licked you. His fingers kept teasing your entrance, pushing in gently before he withdrew them causing you to let out loud groans of both pleasure and annoyance.

Without warning two fingers pushed into you causing you to arch against the bed, you felt Sirius chuckle around you causing you to moan louder as the chuckle vibrated against your clit. You were panting as he pumped his fingers inside you, his pace quickening each time. One of your hands was in his hair, fingers clutching the dark curls, holding him in place whilst the other gripped the bedsheet tightly.

“Sirius, Sirius please,” You cried out, the feeling of both his fingers and his mouth becoming too much.

Sirius pulled away and leaned up to connect his lips to yours, both of you moaning into it. The kiss was filthy, you could taste yourself on his tongue as you both messily kissed each other.

Before you could even register it Sirius was lining himself up against you and sliding in causing you to whimper in pleasure, your eyes screwing shut as Sirius sucked on your neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, fingernails digging into his back.

Once he was in and made sure you were ok, Sirius wasted no time. His rhythm was unrelentingly hard and fast, a fine line between pain and pleasure had you a moaning mess, Sirius’ name falling out of your mouth like a prayer as you pleaded for more.

Sirius was moaning against your neck, face buried against it as he thrusted into you. You were incoherent at this point, the only name on your lips was Sirius’ and it wasn’t long before you were pleading with him, begging him to let you come.

“That’s it baby,” He murmured against your neck, letting his teeth graze across the sensitive skin, “you feel so good, come for me, baby.” He continued, praising you as he fucked you fast and hard.

It wasn’t long before you were clenching around Sirius causing him to let out a low moan. You cried out as you orgasmed and Sirius wasn’t found behind as he came inside you with a moan of his own.

The two of you lay there for a moment, the air hot and heavy as the two of you panted for breath. Sirius was the first to move, pulling out of you carefully and picking his wand up from the nightstand. He made quick work of cleaning the two of you up and then collapsed down beside you in the bed, pulling you into his arms so your head lay on his chest.

“You okay baby?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

You were still slightly out of it, everything about tonight felt wild and passionate and overwhelming so you just nodded against him and let your arm rest against his stomach.

Sirius smiled down at you, letting his fingers trace your skin.

“Go to sleep, Y/N.” He murmured, smile growing as you nodded sleepily against his chest.

It wasn’t long before you fell asleep in Sirius’ arms.

You were the first to wake, the curtains around the bed had been drawn and you assumed the other boys were back in the room. You didn’t want to get up yet, didn’t want to leave Sirius’ embrace, the feeling of his arms around your waist, holding you close…it was easy to pretend this was real.

You let your fingers gently trace his chest, touching him like this made you realise that this was what you wanted. You wanted Sirius Black and you didn’t know how you were going to give him up after one night with him. This one night with him was perfect, it felt like the colours in autumn, so bright, so beautiful, but you could see the end too, when the autumn leaves died and fell, that was what was destined to happen here - one incredibly great night and then whatever was between you and Sirius was supposed to shrivel up and die.

Except that’s not what happened…

That morning Sirius woke up, his arms still holding you close. He brought you in for a soft kiss and the two of you spent the morning in his bed, lazily kissing and giggling as he told you stories of pranks and mischief and you told him stories about yourself.

From there the two of you headed down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ arm thrown around your shoulders and holding you close. During the meal he kept up the conversation, not bothering with anyone else around you.

You figured that it was finally your chance to be the girl of the week, not just a one night stand but someone for Sirius to keep around before he got bored. And you shouldn’t have been ok with that, you knew you deserved more than that, but spending time with Sirius was worth it.

So when week two came and Sirius slid into the seat next to you for breakfast, wrapping his arm around you and kissing your lips, you could only look at him in confusion.

“What?” He grinned as he plucked a piece of fruit from your plate.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked him, eyebrows knitting together in your confusion.

“Ouch and here I was thinking you liked me.” He said, dramatically holding a hand to his chest causing your friends to laugh.

You didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to respond. Sirius Black had never been with the same girl for longer than a week, it was common knowledge.

So why was he back?

“What’re you doing this weekend?” He asked you as you packed up your things to head to class. His hand slipped into yours as you both headed towards the stairs.

“Nothing?” You told him, though it sounded more like a question.

“Let me take you out, we can go to Hogsmeade.” He said, smiling over at you with that charming Sirius Black smile.

How could you say no to that?

-

At the four month mark you were still confused about why Sirius was with you, down right nearly died of shock when he asked to make things official one night as he snuck the two of you to the astronomy tower, talking about the different stars and constellations.

Four months in and you had fallen hard. It wasn’t difficult considering how much you had liked him before getting together but being around him everyday, getting to kiss him whenever you wanted, knowing that he was yours…it wasn’t hard to fall in love.

You had him memorized, you knew him as well as you knew the words to your old favourite song. When you touched him, you knew he was what you wanted and somehow he wanted you too.

You hadn’t realised just how hard you had fallen for him until your first fight. It was about something ridiculous and ended with the two of you storming away from each other. It was after hours and Sirius had headed up to the dorm whereas you had snuck out and found yourself sitting at the edge of the astronomy tower, legs dangling over as you looked up at the starry night.

Sirius came to find you that night, apologising. You had brushed it off, made it seem like it was no big deal just so things could be ok again between you but deep down you knew that that wasn’t right. The fight was intense but everything about your relationship with Sirius was intense so why shouldn’t that be too.

-

You shouldn’t have been surprised.

You knew he had a reputation, knew what he was like before you had gotten together. You knew he had a different girl every week. How could you think you could change that about him?

Watching him as he pressed some Ravenclaw against the wall, kissing her like he needed it to survive…

You hated the scene in front of you but you couldn’t look away. It was only when the Ravenclaw opened her eyes, seeing you stood there, that Sirius acknowledged you. The Ravenclaw pushed him off her, a look of embarrassment taking over her face as she quickly readjusted herself and picked her bag up before hurrying past you with an apology.

You didn’t hang around to hear what Sirius had to say. You turned on your heel and followed the other girl out, ignoring the pleas from Sirius as he begged you to hear him out.

You ended up in a dusty, old classroom. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a good few years…or decades. You didn’t care though, the state of the room was the last thing on your mind as you let the door fall shut and your back slid down it until you were sat on the floor with tears falling down your face.

You knew, deep down you knew that it was for the best, knew that you and Sirius could never have worked out but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The relationship was too much, loving him was too much. It was all too much, too fast. Every moment spent together was too intense.

You didn’t know how you were supposed to move on from him though because despite how intense things were between you, you really did love him and moving on from him seemed impossible when all you could see in your head was him.

As you sat on the dusty floor with tears falling down your face, flashbacks and echoes of him invading your mind, you couldn’t help but feel all alone. You knew you’d be ok eventually but right now everything felt blue, it felt lonely and sad and you felt like a complete idiot for thinking that he could change, for thinking that you were worth enough to him to change when really all you were to him was some pretty little plaything and he had finally gotten bored of you.

You had been so focused on the good moments between you this entire relationship, the affection, the infatuation, the warmth, that you ignored the other side of the relationship - the anger, the jealousy, the miscommunication, those horrible aspects you’d blocked out hit you full force.

Merlin, you were such an idiot.

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun but in time you knew you’d be ok.

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