Taylor Swift Lyric Prompts - Tumblr Posts

Red Masterlist

State of Grace - Spencer Reid x Reader

Red - Sirius Black x Reader

Treacherous - Aaron Hotchner x Reader

I Knew You Were Trouble - Loki x Reader

All Too Well - James Potter x Reader

22 - Spencer Reid x reader

I Almost Do - Derek Morgan x Reader

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Stay Stay Stay - AG's Peter Parker x Reader

The Last Time - AG's Peter Parker x reader

Holy Ground -

Sad Beautiful Tragic -

The Lucky One - Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

Everything Has Changed - James Potter x Reader

Starlight -

Begin Again - Derek Morgan x Reader

The Moment I Knew - AG Peter Parker x Reader

Come Back...Be Here - Emily Prentiss x Reader

Girl at Home -

Eyes Open -

Safe & Sound -

Better Man -

Message In A Bottle -

I Bet You Think About Me -

Forever Winter -

Run -

The Very First Night -

All Too Well (10 Minute Version) -

The Moment I Knew

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Prompt - ‘What do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?’

For months now you’d had your suspicions that Peter wasn’t being honest with you, that he wasn’t being faithful. At first it was easy to ignore, Peter was just late to things but he always had a decent excuse but then he started missing dates, the first few times he’d missed them he had called and apologised profusely but eventually the calls stopped coming, leaving you sat in a diner or stood outside a movie theatre alone. From there you could go days without seeing or hearing from him, despite your best efforts.

You knew but you weren’t ready to admit it to yourself yet.

One last chance, you had told yourself that you’d give him one last chance.

-

Peter made his way over to you as you finished up at your locker, ready to head home after a long school day. He smiled at you, a boyish grin lighting up his face, before he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

The two of you made light conversation as you headed towards the exit, things still tense between the two of you after Peter blew off your last date.

One last chance.

“You’re definitely gonna be at my party, right?” You asked as the two of you came to a stop before you had to separate to get home.

Peter looked down at you, his eyebrows drawing together as he frowned but he shook his head as if shaking away unwanted thoughts.

“Of course I’ll be there, baby.” He told you, promised you. You gave him a dubious look which made him feel even worse. He knew he had been terrible to you lately, he knew he was an idiot but with Spiderman and the workload at school and trying to cover all his injuries so you or May didn’t notice, even with his healing ability, it was hard. It was all becoming too much. He hated keeping it a secret from you, hated lying to you and cancelling on you constantly but he had to do it. He needed to be Spiderman, he needed to help people. “Y/N, I swear I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He assured you before leaning down to kiss you softly.

“I promise.” He whispered against your lips and you sighed before nodding.

You went to bed that night praying Peter Parker kept that promise.

-

It was the morning of your birthday and so far everything was going great. Your family had woken you up with gifts and breakfast and there was a flurry of texts and posts wishing you a happy birthday.

Peter had yet to text or call you but it was still early so you figured he was just waiting until he saw you at the party but despite what you told yourself you couldn’t help the worry that started to set in as you were getting ready.

The party was at your house, large enough to host the array of guests that would be coming, and your parents had gone all out on the decorations. Twinkling lights lit the room up nicely, balloons, flowers, streamers and all sorts of other decorations had been set up making the room look amazing.

“You look incredible!” Your friend said as she stepped in with a large group of people from your school. Everyone wished you a happy birthday, handing you cards and gifts that were set upon a table.

As more people flooded into the house, you couldn’t help but glance at your phone repeatedly and yet each time you checked there was no message from Peter.

It wasn’t long before the party was in full swing, music was blasting, people were dancing and laughing as they sang along and yet you weren’t enjoying yourself. You stood off to the side with your eye on the door, waiting for Peter to walk in.

If he burst through the door right now, with that smile of his, you would’ve been so happy. You would have pushed away the fact he was late, that he hadn’t called or texted you, you would’ve just been happy he was there.

“Y/N!,” you turned to face the person who called you, it was Josh, one of the jocks on the basketball team. “Happy Birthday!” He beamed, pulling you into a hug. “How’ve you been?” He asked when he pulled away.

You forced a smile onto your face, trying to pull yourself out of your memories, memories from just the other day when Peter had promised, he’d promised, he would be here. You made friendly conversation with Josh but kept one eye on the door throughout it.

It wasn’t long before you were left alone again and couldn’t help but let your mind wander back to all the times Peter had stood you up. Yet you always told him it was fine, sure you argued about it but at the end of the day you loved him, you didn’t want to lose him.

But now, as you stood alone at your own party, the new dress you’d bought just for the occasion and the red lipstick meant nothing. You had nobody here to impress. The one person who you wanted here most hadn’t bothered to show up, even worse he hadn’t bothered to tell you why.

Looking around the room, everyone else was laughing, they were having a great time and you hated that you weren’t amongst them, laughing along with them as you enjoyed your birthday.

As the hours ticked on, the party showed no signs of dying down despite how much you wanted the night to be over. You just wanted to be alone.

“Hey Y/N,” It was Peter’s friend, Gwen. From the look on her face she knew something was wrong and the sympathy on her face was too much for you.

You felt your eyes fill with tears, watched as Gwen’s eyes softened some more, before you pushed past her and made your way to the toilet. Gwen followed you down the hall and managed to get in the bathroom before you shut the door.

She watched as you clutched the sink like it was your lifeline, she watched as the tears fell down your face and mascara stained your cheeks. She watched her best friend’s girlfriend fall apart because he had messed up again.

Eventually you managed to stop crying and turned to face Gwen. Your makeup was ruined but you didn’t care, it was the last thing you cared about right now. You just wanted everyone to leave.

“He said he’d be here.” You told her hopelessly.

Gwen didn’t say anything, what could she possibly say to you right now? Nothing would make this right and she was furious at Peter. She had known Peter had been blowing you off lately but despite her best efforts she couldn’t get him to tell her why. But there was no excuse good enough to make up for him making you feel like this.

So instead she stayed silent and pulled you in for a hug.

Once you made your way back to the living room the lights dimmed and the many, many guests started to sing Happy Birthday to you. You forced a smile onto your face as you wiped your cheeks, trying to hide what had happened in the bathroom.

You felt Gwen place her hand on the small of your back and blinked away the tears that came as a result.

Once people were done you thanked them, quickly blew out the candles and made to leave.

“What’s wrong?” One of your friends asked as she caught you by the arm, taking note of your ruined makeup and the mascara that hadn't quite been wiped away.

You didn’t say anything, couldn’t say anything. What could you say when the tears started to stream down your face again in front of everyone you knew?

People gave you sympathic looks, more people trying to ask what had happened but you just shook your head.

You didn’t even care that you were crying in front of all these people, none of them mattered to you. The only person that mattered was the one person who didn’t bother to show.

In that moment though, you knew things between you and Peter were done. You knew you couldn’t carry on with this, couldn’t carry on being stood up, being lied to, being ignored. You put so much effort into this relationship and the one time, the one time, you wanted Peter to show up, the one night he knew was important and he didn’t care enough to even text.

That was the moment you knew.

You pushed through the crowd and made your way to your bedroom. You let the door shut with a gentle click before you leaned your back against it, letting your head hit the hard wood.

It was only a moment later that the sob left you and it was followed by more and more until you were sliding down the door, heartbreaking sobs drowned out by the music as you buried your face in your knees.

This, this was the moment you knew things had to be done between you and Peter.

-

You had cried yourself to sleep, still sat on the floor and by the time you woke up the music was turned off and you couldn’t hear any voices. Your eyebrows knitted together as you tried to figure out what had woken you up when you heard your phone buzzing from next to you on the floor.

You looked down and felt an ache in your chest as you saw Peter’s smile beaming up at you, it was your favourite picture of him, half asleep, his hair was a mess but he looked beautiful.

You considered ignoring the call but decided it was best just to rip the band aid off. You’d always thought breaking up with somebody over the phone was weak but right now, in this moment you understand how people did it. The thought of seeing Peter physically hurt.

With a sigh you pressed answered.

“Y/N?” He asked into the phone and you took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself before speaking.

“What?” You asked, your voice croaky from crying.

You heard Peter let out a deep sigh, the line staying silent for a moment before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make it.” He said and you wished you had the energy to fight him, wished you had the energy to stand up for yourself, to tell him he should be sorry, tell him that you were worth so much more than that. But you couldn’t, you didn’t have the energy to do anything involving Peter Parker. You already knew it was done and there was nothing else to say.

“I’m sorry too,” You said, “I can’t do this anymore, Peter, this is done.” You told him and you heard his breath hitch through the phone.

You couldn’t see the tears pouring down his face as he held a hand to his face. He knew he had messed up, he had every intention of going to your party but then something had happened and Spiderman was needed.

The whole night was a mess.

“Please Y/N,” He said, fully prepared to beg for you right now. He loved you so much and he wasn’t ready to lose you, he couldn’t lose you.

“No Peter,” You whispered, not able to listen to him. It was too late for him to fight for you now, he should have fought to keep you when he had you. “Goodbye.” You said softly before hanging up the phone and letting your head hit the door as more tears fell down your face.

You knew in that moment you’d made the right decision, you couldn’t compete with whatever Peter was hiding from you. You couldn’t be second best to a secret but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt more than anything, finally letting Peter go.

____________________________

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Red

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Prompt - ‘Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red.’

Notes - Smut

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun.

You had liked Sirius for months now, it was easy to like him. He was charming, charismatic, one flash of that smile had you weak in the knees - you and every other girl at Hogwarts. Sirius wasn’t an idiot, he knew the effect he had on the girls and nobody was surprised when he had a new girl on his arm every week.

You had never been one of those girls and even though you knew it was terrible to want to be, you couldn't deny that given the chance you would be his girl of the week. This week it was a girl in your year, you didn’t particularly like her but seeing her on Sirius’ lap made you roll your eyes as you passed them, neither of them noticing you as they made out on the bench they were on.

“Party at Gryffindor tower tonight, you in?” Your friend asked you as you rounded the corner.

The thought of saying no crossed your mind, not wanting to spend the night obsessing over Sirius but something within you was nagging you to go.

“Sure.” You agreed, watching as your friend grinned at you and began talking about outfits.

You tuned her out all the way to potions and spent the rest of the lesson trying to push Sirius out of your mind.

By the time the party rolled around you were ready to cancel but somehow your friends ended up pushing you into going. As you entered the common room you couldn’t help but relax as the music and laughter washed over you.

“Let’s get a drink.” Someone from your group said and it wasn’t long before one drink turned into four and you were feeling the full effect of the alcohol coursing through your veins.

You found yourself in the middle of the common room which was being used as a dance floor, letting the music guide your movements. You weren’t sure just how much time had passed before you felt an arm slip around your waist and a warm body pressing up against your back.

“Having fun?” You recognised Sirius’ voice straight away, his tone deep and low as he pulled you further against him, dancing rhythmically against you. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin as his lips pressed against your neck in a gentle kiss.

You couldn’t help but turn your head upwards, giving him better access. You could feel him smirk against you before he obliged and began pressing kisses into your skin, you bit your lip before gasping as you felt him suck on the delicate skin. He kept sucking and let his arms that were still wrapped around your waist explore your body, one trailed upwards, brushing over your breast and the other went downwards, resting on the top of your thigh.

The feeling of him sucking on your neck was more intense than you would have ever thought, that mixed with his hands on your body had you letting out an involuntary whimper. You were more than aware that you were still in the middle of the common room but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when Sirius Black was pressed up behind you, finally noticing you.

You let out another whimper as Sirius let his teeth graze against the spot he’d been sucking before pulling away, not going far, and whispered in your ear.

“How about we head upstairs?” You couldn’t have said no even if you wanted to, something about him was addicting and now that you’d had a taste you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go.

At your nod he pressed another kiss to your neck before pulling away and guiding you up the stairs. You had no idea how the stairs let you into the boys dorm but the thought left your mind as soon as it had entered.

Once you were in the boys dorm and the door was shut, Sirius pinned you against it, wasting no time in crashing his lips against yours, the kiss was raw, it was desperate and needy. Your hands were finally tangled in his long hair as his hands gripped your face and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Sirius pulled away from you, a trail of spit keeping the two of you attached to each other before his lips connected with your neck again. Your head hit the wooden door behind you as you threw it back, moaning in pleasure as he wasted no time sucking at different spots on your neck.

Your cheeks were flushed as Sirius finished up on your neck, trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, along your collarbone before stopping at the top of your shirt. His fingers found the hem and he was quick to pull it over your head, leaving you standing in your bra.

You watched him lick his lips before he helped you take the bra off, his mouth going straight for your breast. He took one in his mouth, as his hand came up to knead the other. You moaned at the stimulation, your hands coming up to grip his hair as he showed no signs of slowing down, though you did feel him smirk against you.

When Sirius pulled away you had no time to recover as his lips found yours again. As he kissed you hard, hard enough to bruise, he pulled you away from the door and, without pulling away, blindly led you over to his bed.

It wasn’t long before you were underneath him, Sirius in between your legs as he continued to kiss you. It was rushed and animalistic and you couldn’t get enough. You pushed your hips up, letting yourself brush against his dick causing you both to moan into the kiss.

Sirius took the hint and pulled away, his hands trailing down your stomach and stopping at the top of your jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning them and helped pull them down before throwing them off to the side of the room.

With the adrenaline and alcohol pumping through your system you had no time to feel self conscious, though you did pull his shirt off of him as you saw he was still fully clothed and you were laying there in your panties that were already beginning to get wet.

Sirius was quick to strip out of his own clothes before turning his attention back to you, pressing his lips against yours again. He let his hands trail down, brushing against your panties and smirking as he felt the wetness through them.

“Feel good, baby?” He asked, nipping at your jawline. You couldn’t reply, just let out a loud, needy moan as his fingers gently stroked you through your underwear.

Sirius wasted no time in lowering himself so his face was between your legs. He pressed a kiss against your thigh before hooking his fingers around your panties, pulling them off and tossing them out into the room.

You were a moaning mess as Sirius attached his lips to your clit, his fingers still brushing against you as he sucked and licked you. His fingers kept teasing your entrance, pushing in gently before he withdrew them causing you to let out loud groans of both pleasure and annoyance.

Without warning two fingers pushed into you causing you to arch against the bed, you felt Sirius chuckle around you causing you to moan louder as the chuckle vibrated against your clit. You were panting as he pumped his fingers inside you, his pace quickening each time. One of your hands was in his hair, fingers clutching the dark curls, holding him in place whilst the other gripped the bedsheet tightly.

“Sirius, Sirius please,” You cried out, the feeling of both his fingers and his mouth becoming too much.

Sirius pulled away and leaned up to connect his lips to yours, both of you moaning into it. The kiss was filthy, you could taste yourself on his tongue as you both messily kissed each other.

Before you could even register it Sirius was lining himself up against you and sliding in causing you to whimper in pleasure, your eyes screwing shut as Sirius sucked on your neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, fingernails digging into his back.

Once he was in and made sure you were ok, Sirius wasted no time. His rhythm was unrelentingly hard and fast, a fine line between pain and pleasure had you a moaning mess, Sirius’ name falling out of your mouth like a prayer as you pleaded for more.

Sirius was moaning against your neck, face buried against it as he thrusted into you. You were incoherent at this point, the only name on your lips was Sirius’ and it wasn’t long before you were pleading with him, begging him to let you come.

“That’s it baby,” He murmured against your neck, letting his teeth graze across the sensitive skin, “you feel so good, come for me, baby.” He continued, praising you as he fucked you fast and hard.

It wasn’t long before you were clenching around Sirius causing him to let out a low moan. You cried out as you orgasmed and Sirius wasn’t found behind as he came inside you with a moan of his own.

The two of you lay there for a moment, the air hot and heavy as the two of you panted for breath. Sirius was the first to move, pulling out of you carefully and picking his wand up from the nightstand. He made quick work of cleaning the two of you up and then collapsed down beside you in the bed, pulling you into his arms so your head lay on his chest.

“You okay baby?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

You were still slightly out of it, everything about tonight felt wild and passionate and overwhelming so you just nodded against him and let your arm rest against his stomach.

Sirius smiled down at you, letting his fingers trace your skin.

“Go to sleep, Y/N.” He murmured, smile growing as you nodded sleepily against his chest.

It wasn’t long before you fell asleep in Sirius’ arms.

You were the first to wake, the curtains around the bed had been drawn and you assumed the other boys were back in the room. You didn’t want to get up yet, didn’t want to leave Sirius’ embrace, the feeling of his arms around your waist, holding you close…it was easy to pretend this was real.

You let your fingers gently trace his chest, touching him like this made you realise that this was what you wanted. You wanted Sirius Black and you didn’t know how you were going to give him up after one night with him. This one night with him was perfect, it felt like the colours in autumn, so bright, so beautiful, but you could see the end too, when the autumn leaves died and fell, that was what was destined to happen here - one incredibly great night and then whatever was between you and Sirius was supposed to shrivel up and die.

Except that’s not what happened…

That morning Sirius woke up, his arms still holding you close. He brought you in for a soft kiss and the two of you spent the morning in his bed, lazily kissing and giggling as he told you stories of pranks and mischief and you told him stories about yourself.

From there the two of you headed down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ arm thrown around your shoulders and holding you close. During the meal he kept up the conversation, not bothering with anyone else around you.

You figured that it was finally your chance to be the girl of the week, not just a one night stand but someone for Sirius to keep around before he got bored. And you shouldn’t have been ok with that, you knew you deserved more than that, but spending time with Sirius was worth it.

So when week two came and Sirius slid into the seat next to you for breakfast, wrapping his arm around you and kissing your lips, you could only look at him in confusion.

“What?” He grinned as he plucked a piece of fruit from your plate.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked him, eyebrows knitting together in your confusion.

“Ouch and here I was thinking you liked me.” He said, dramatically holding a hand to his chest causing your friends to laugh.

You didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to respond. Sirius Black had never been with the same girl for longer than a week, it was common knowledge.

So why was he back?

“What’re you doing this weekend?” He asked you as you packed up your things to head to class. His hand slipped into yours as you both headed towards the stairs.

“Nothing?” You told him, though it sounded more like a question.

“Let me take you out, we can go to Hogsmeade.” He said, smiling over at you with that charming Sirius Black smile.

How could you say no to that?

-

At the four month mark you were still confused about why Sirius was with you, down right nearly died of shock when he asked to make things official one night as he snuck the two of you to the astronomy tower, talking about the different stars and constellations.

Four months in and you had fallen hard. It wasn’t difficult considering how much you had liked him before getting together but being around him everyday, getting to kiss him whenever you wanted, knowing that he was yours…it wasn’t hard to fall in love.

You had him memorized, you knew him as well as you knew the words to your old favourite song. When you touched him, you knew he was what you wanted and somehow he wanted you too.

You hadn’t realised just how hard you had fallen for him until your first fight. It was about something ridiculous and ended with the two of you storming away from each other. It was after hours and Sirius had headed up to the dorm whereas you had snuck out and found yourself sitting at the edge of the astronomy tower, legs dangling over as you looked up at the starry night.

Sirius came to find you that night, apologising. You had brushed it off, made it seem like it was no big deal just so things could be ok again between you but deep down you knew that that wasn’t right. The fight was intense but everything about your relationship with Sirius was intense so why shouldn’t that be too.

-

You shouldn’t have been surprised.

You knew he had a reputation, knew what he was like before you had gotten together. You knew he had a different girl every week. How could you think you could change that about him?

Watching him as he pressed some Ravenclaw against the wall, kissing her like he needed it to survive…

You hated the scene in front of you but you couldn’t look away. It was only when the Ravenclaw opened her eyes, seeing you stood there, that Sirius acknowledged you. The Ravenclaw pushed him off her, a look of embarrassment taking over her face as she quickly readjusted herself and picked her bag up before hurrying past you with an apology.

You didn’t hang around to hear what Sirius had to say. You turned on your heel and followed the other girl out, ignoring the pleas from Sirius as he begged you to hear him out.

You ended up in a dusty, old classroom. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a good few years…or decades. You didn’t care though, the state of the room was the last thing on your mind as you let the door fall shut and your back slid down it until you were sat on the floor with tears falling down your face.

You knew, deep down you knew that it was for the best, knew that you and Sirius could never have worked out but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The relationship was too much, loving him was too much. It was all too much, too fast. Every moment spent together was too intense.

You didn’t know how you were supposed to move on from him though because despite how intense things were between you, you really did love him and moving on from him seemed impossible when all you could see in your head was him.

As you sat on the dusty floor with tears falling down your face, flashbacks and echoes of him invading your mind, you couldn’t help but feel all alone. You knew you’d be ok eventually but right now everything felt blue, it felt lonely and sad and you felt like a complete idiot for thinking that he could change, for thinking that you were worth enough to him to change when really all you were to him was some pretty little plaything and he had finally gotten bored of you.

You had been so focused on the good moments between you this entire relationship, the affection, the infatuation, the warmth, that you ignored the other side of the relationship - the anger, the jealousy, the miscommunication, those horrible aspects you’d blocked out hit you full force.

Merlin, you were such an idiot.

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun but in time you knew you’d be ok.

________________________

Sirius Taglist - @haroldpotterson, @imjustassaneasyou, @dindjarinsspouse, @lovinnholland, @rottenstyx, @queen-who, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair, @halepack2011, @mrs-scottmccall, @roseslovedreams, @j-cat ,@cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @wierdstark, @chickensrule, @rosaliedepp, @hayden429, @onyourgoddamnleft

Stay, Stay, Stay

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Prompt - 'I've been loving you for quite some time’

You sat on Peter’s bed, frustration clear on your face as you listened to Peter plead his case. You and Peter had been together for a good few months now and this was your first real fight, sure you bickered and argued sometimes but you never fought, not like this.

“I said I was sorry!” Peter exclaimed, feelings just as frustrated as you, if not more so. He hated that he had let you down, he had known how important it was for him to show up at the event your parents had been hosting earlier that night and he was on his way over, really he was, but then he saw a rush of police cars and the sound of gunshots and only minutes later Spiderman was swinging into action.

“One night, that’s all I asked for.” You yelled back, standing from the bed and making your way towards the door. This wasn’t the first time Peter had left you hanging but usually you got a phone call and it wasn’t so important.

“Why can’t you just accept the fact that something came up?!” You couldn’t help but scoff at that, anger coursing through your veins as you turned to face him. Your phone had left your hand before you could even register it, flying over to Peter who skillfully caught it.

“I’m sorry, ok?” Peter said again, softer this time. He saw the tears in your eyes, from sadness or anger, or both, he didn’t know but he felt terrible for making you cry even if you refused to let them fall.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him, suddenly drained.

“No, come on, please stay,” He pleaded with you, eyes turning wide as he did, “It’s too late for you to be walking home tonight.”

He was right, it was well past midnight and it was only now that you gave thought to Aunt May who you knew was home as she was the one to let you in. You grimmanced as you thought of her hearing everything between you and Peter.

“I really don’t want to be around you right now.” You said whilst shaking your head and moved to pull the door open.

Peter frowned as he moved in front of you, blocking the exit off.

“Stay in here, I’ll take the sofa.” Peter insisted and the two of you went back and forth for a while until you finally rolled your eyes and agreed to take his room.

As you lay alone in your boyfriend's bed you couldn’t help but frown as you cuddled into his pillow. You knew you were being silly, Peter wouldn’t miss tonight unless it was important but the fact he hadn’t given you a straight answer annoyed you more than him not showing up.

The next morning you felt just as bad as you had last night. You hated leaving things like that with Peter, you hated not resolving the fight and you hated that you had both gone to bed angry and alone.

You couldn’t say just how long you lay in Peter’s bed, waiting for the man himself to come into his own room. You heard voices drifting up the stairs and knew both him and Aunt May were up.

So you had to make the first move then.

You weren’t quite ready to go down to Peter so instead grabbed your phone and pulled up your texts.

‘You know,’ you started it, wanting to keep the message light, ‘i read somewhere that you should never leave a fight unresolved.’

There, that was enough to let him know you were ok with him coming up, let him know that you wanted to talk.

You heard a crash from downstairs and raised an eyebrow, the sound of somebody rummaging through a closet or something made you sit up.

It wasn’t long before Peter’s door opened and you couldn’t stop the laughter from leaving you as he walked in wearing a football helmet that had seen better days, clearly it was a good few years old.

Peter grinned as he heard you laugh, glad to have eased the situation somewhat. He really was sorry for not showing up but sometimes with Spiderman it just couldn’t be helped.

Sometimes he did wonder if it would just be easier if you knew but then he thought of all the risks that came with you knowing and backed out, pushing any thoughts of you and Spiderman together out of his mind.

“Alright,” he said, grin widening as he listened to you giggle, “let’s talk.”

You patted the bed next to you, cheeks flushed from laughter and a smile firmly in place.

Peter was good at that, making you laugh and smile no matter the situation. You were glad for it, especially now after your first fight. You didn’t want things to be weird, you just wanted to talk and get it out of the way before going back to normal.

“Take that damn helmet off,” You laughed, causing Peter to roll his eyes jokingly but he did as you requested.

“I only wanted the truth.” You said softly after a moment of silence. You were both sitting side to side and you let your head hit the wall before turning to face him. Peter did the same, his smile turning sad as he did.

The truth? The truth was that Spiderman was needed, Spiderman was always going to be needed and he loved to help, he never wanted to give up Spiderman but he also didn’t ever want to lose you.

So, what was the truth?

“You saw that police chase last night, right?” He asked, watching as your smile fell and a concerned expression took over your face.

He knew now wasn’t the time but he couldn’t help but think of how adorable you looked, eyes filled with concern, eyebrows drawn together as you gently bit your lip.

He reached up, gently pulling your lip away from your teeth before letting his hand drop.

“Yeah I saw it, two guys broke out of prison and started shooting the streets up.” You said, voice so soft it was barely above a whisper as you put the pieces together. “You were there?”

“I got caught up in it.” He said, feeling incredibly guilty for lying to you. It was lie after lie with him and now he had you looking over at him with so much concern written across your face that it made him turn away from you, disgusted with himself.

Maybe if he told you the truth he could keep you and Spiderman separate, he’d done it so far. All he had to do was never interact with you as Spiderman unless absolutely necessary.

“Pete,” you gasped, leaning over to grab his hand in yours, “I’m so sorry, why didn’t you just tell me that? Are you ok?”

Peter couldn’t handle the guilt, his stomach twisting and it was then he made his mind up. He just hoped he was making the right decision because if something happened to you he’d never forgive himself.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I can’t do this anymore. You’re the best thing to happen to me and I just keep lying to you,” He told you with watery eyes as he pulled his hands from yours. You were so confused but before you could speak he started talking again, “no more, no more lies, I promise.”

“Peter, what are you talking about?” You asked, utterly lost as to where this conversation was going.

“I need to tell you something and if you don’t want to be with me anymore I understand but I need you to know.” He said, turning and resting on his knees as he gave you his full attention. “I was caught up in that police chase last night but not in the way you think. I was there and I was helping the police.” Here he watched as your eyebrows furrowed further together as you took in the information but hadn’t made the connection yet.

“Y/N, I’m Spiderman.” He confessed.

The silence spread for minutes, Peter not prompting a response from you but desperately needing one. You continued to stare at him in shock, replaying all the times you’d seen Spiderman on the news, joining dangerous situations and shooting of quick remarks as he took down the latest bad guy.

Spiderman was Peter, your Peter.

“Please say something.” He finally said, so softly but in the quiet of the room it wasn’t hard to miss.

“I love you.” You said, watching as Peter’s eyes widened.

A confession like that was honestly the last thing Peter expected to hear leave your lips. He expected you to be furious with him, for being Spiderman or for keeping it a secret, or both. He expected you to hate him, to not want to risk being around him. He expected you to walk out of that door and to never speak to him again, only catching glances of you as you passed each other in the hallways or as he sat behind you in class.

“What?” He managed to get out, utterly confused.

You let out a breathy laugh of disbelief. Whilst ‘I love you’ was the last thing Peter expected to hear, him telling you he was Spiderman was the last thing you thought he would ever say.

“I love you,” You repeated, eyes filling with tears as you cupped his jaw in your hand, Peter leaning into the touch without hesitation, “I love how selfless you are, I love that you care so much about people that you're willing to risk your own life to help them. I love how much hope and joy you inspire and trust me you inspire people to believe, not just as Spiderman but as you, Peter Parker. I love that you think it’s funny when I’m mad,” You laughed, gesturing to the abandoned football helmet, “you’re just, you’re so amazing and I love you so much Peter.”

Peter couldn’t help himself as he leaned forward. He connected your lips together in a soft but passionate kiss, the kiss communicating just how much the two of you loved each other, how much you cared for each other. The two of you clung to each other, not planning on letting go ever.

“I love you too,” He whispered, resting his forehead on yours as he looked at you with a stupidly large grin on his face. You couldn’t help but mirror the expression. “I have for quite some time.” He told you, causing you to giggle softly as you brought him in for another gentle kiss.

__________

AG Peter Parker Taglist - @haroldpotterson, @imjustassaneasyou, @dindjarinsspouse, @rottenstyx, @asherhunterx, @powerpuffluuvv, @filmsbyblair, @mrs-scottmccall, @roseslovedreams, @janesofia7, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @wierdstark, @runawaywithmyghost, @chaoticevilbakugo, @ppgrayson, @onyourgoddamnleft, @divanca2006, @90sbella, @siriuslyfearless, @mystic-writings, @levisbloodcut, @mrs-brekker15, @alexxavicry, @sweetdreamsjg, @alwaysclassyeagle, @peterpgrace, @asherhunterx, @vx-vexedvixen, @ordinarylokix, @carmellasworld, @ellabellabus07, @battinsonn, @labellapeaky, @lokismidnight, @maeve-7, @caediae

The Last Time

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Prompt - ‘This is the last time I'm asking you why you break my heart in the blink of an eye.'

Peter stood on the steps of your front door, not fully remembering how he’d gotten there. The rain was falling hard around him, Peter himself soaked wet through, the sound of it bouncing on the street was the only thing that could be heard in the silence of the early morning hours, the sky still dark, clouds too thick to see any stars through it.

He had yet to knock, scared to not receive an answer, scared for you to answer only to slam the door in his face. He was just…scared. His eyes were watery but the rain hid it well. He stood there thinking back to your last conversation with him.

How many times had he been here after a fight with you, how many times had he stood here with his best apology. This time though something felt different, it felt like you had made your mind up and fully planned to make good on your promise to not see him again, to not have the same damn argument every few weeks.

It was getting harder and harder to lie to you, every excuse that came out of Peter’s mouth sounded like the lie it was, no matter how hard he tried to make his excuses seem true you always saw through them.

Peter hated lying to you, it felt like every time he spoke to you he was lying about something, lying about where he was, why he was late, why he failed to show up at all, why he was so tired, why his back hurt so much.

Everything was a lie.

One thing that wasn’t a lie though were his feelings for you. Peter loved you so much but at some point that wasn’t enough, love wasn’t enough when there wasn’t trust and as much as you hated it you didn’t, you couldn’t trust Peter.

The constant lies, the skipping out on dates, the guilty look he got in his eyes every time he spoke to you.

It always led back to the same argument of you begging him to tell you what he was hiding and Peter insisting there were no secrets.

You had rolled your eyes every time but let yourself accept his many, many apologies. You loved him too, you had for so long that you didn’t want this to fail, for so long you had refused to let this relationship end but now you just felt tired. You couldn’t continue on with this, not with the constant lies, the constant lingering fear that Peter had found somebody else, somebody better, smarter, prettier…you couldn’t do it anymore.

That had all led to Peter standing here now, angry words thrown in pent up frustration floating through his head.

“Peter, I swear to- I cannot do this anymore!” You yelled, tears in your eyes and voice slightly hoarse.

“I’m telling you you’ve got this wrong!” He shot back at you, watching as your nose flared and you let out a bitter laugh.

“This is the last time you tell me I’ve got it wrong!” You told him through gritted teeth. How many times had he told you that you were wrong? That you weren’t seeing things from his perspective despite him refusing to give you an honest answer.

“How can you think there’s anybody else?” He shouted, hating that you could ever think he was capable of cheating on you. You were the only girl in the world for him, nobody else could ever compare to you.

“How could I not think there was anybody else!? You ghost me, if I’m lucky you call to cancel a date but usually I’m left alone because you couldn’t be bothered to even shoot me a text! Do you have any idea how humiliating it is when people look at you when you’ve been stood up?” You ask, not giving him time to answer as you say, “No you don’t because I have never and would never do that to you! You sneak around constantly, every other word out of your mouth is a damn lie and it’s not fair!”

Peter was speechless for a few moments. How could he respond to that? Everything you had said was right and he hated it, he hated that doing the right thing was coming between the two of you but there was no way he was telling you about Spiderman. It wasn’t a matter of trust, he knew no matter what happened between the two of you that you’d never betray his trust in you, no it had everything to do with the enemies Spiderman made; enemies that would not hesitate to use you against him and he refused to put you in that position.

“It’s you Y/N,” He swore, eyes wide as he reached for, hating that you pulled away, “It’s been you all along.”

“Then why doesn’t it feel like that, Peter? Every time I let you in my door it feels like you make it your mission to see how long it’ll take to break me and I can’t do it anymore.” You said, tears finally making their way down your faces but you paid them no mind.

Peter hated that he made you feel this way, hated that he could see you breaking in front of him and there was nothing he could do.

He didn’t get the chance to reply as you spoke, the fight leaving you and your voice soft.

“This is the last time, Peter, it’s the last time I’m asking you why? Why do you keep lying to me? Why won’t you just tell me what you’re hiding? Why do you keep breaking my heart over and over?” You asked him, voice breaking as more tears fell down your face.

And Peter didn’t have an answer to that. The silence stretched before you shook your head, biting back a sob as you opened your bedroom door and gestured for him to leave.

You were done, he knew you were done.

You watched as he left, head low as he brushed past you and down the stairs. Moments later you heard the door close and finally allowed yourself to sob, loud, heartbreaking sobs, thankful that you were home alone for the night.

Peter couldn’t stop his own tears from falling as he recalled yours. He shook his head whilst cursing himself, why didn’t he say something, anything. Anything would have been better than just walking away from you.

Things weren’t always bad, Peter couldn’t help but laugh sadly as he recalled the good times between the two of you, the times when he actually showed up and didn’t let you down. The times were he took you to the movies and the two of you got thrown out because you kept making stupid remarks to the characters on screen, he remember the time the two of you went pumpkin picking and the two of you tended to your wounds after a incident in which he was pushing you around in a wheelbarrow and it hit a stone causing you to topple out of it and Peter to go flying over it. He remembered sneaking out with you to have breakfast at midnight in the 24/7 diner not too far from your house. He remembered all the good moments you had, remembered when he spluttered his way through a love confession and remembered all the nights he spent with you in his arms, laughing, smiling, sleeping.

He remembered it all and to think he would never get to hold you again, never get to kiss you again, never have you again…it cut deep in his heart. He knew he couldn’t give up Spiderman, it was too important, but he hated that it had cost him you.

You who had been there for him through so much more than you actually knew. You who held him when he failed to save somebody, Peter would come to you teary eyed and you didn’t force him to talk, you just held him in your arms, playing with his hair until he fell asleep in the comfort of your hold.

He sobbed as he realised he’d never have that again.

Peter looked at your front door, knowing right now you were probably in your room, all alone, feeling just as bad as he was. You probably felt worse, Peter thought after a moment, at least Peter knew why he was so secretive but you knew nothing, you thought there was another girl involved, you didn’t know Peter was protecting both you and the city.

Watching as you broke in front of him last night killed Peter, he never realised just how bad it was until last night and with one final look at your door he shook his head and turned on his heel making his way back home. You were right he was breaking your heart, he couldn’t keep dragging you along like this, letting you torture yourself over what Peter’s secret was.

Though it broke Peter’s heart, he walked away from you that night knowing that if he didn’t he would just keep hurting you until you grew to hate him and he couldn’t do that to you, not anymore.

By the time he arrived back home, soaked to the bone and alone in bed, he couldn’t stop the tears that fell, mourning all the time he had lost with you because of himself. Spiderman was supposed to be good but right now he hated everything about his other half.

Back in your own house you mirrored Peter, alone in bed with tears falling down your face as memories of the two of you together invaded your thoughts. You loved Peter Parker, you really did, but that really was the last time you would ask him why he broke your heart in the blink of an eye.

__________

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Clean

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Prompt - ‘Rain came pouring down, when I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe.’

There were a lot of moments from the last few months that haunted your every waking day and continued to plague you if you ever managed to fall asleep. The fear you felt in those early days, the dead running around as you desperately tried to barricade the doors to your house, the army rolling in with their guns and offering a safe haven only for your family to decide you’d be better off without their help and hiding out until they left. The next few months that followed saw the food running low, water stopped running, autumn nights turning to winter and getting colder.

The image that really wouldn’t leave your head was the clickers. They were fast, some were too fast to track until it was too late. Even now you could still see them pushing down the door, could see them tearing your family into nothing.

You had been out on the street, gathering what little supplies were still useful when you saw it happening. You couldn’t move, the screams carried up the street and you didn’t know how long you stood there for, staring at the only home you’d ever know, the dead flowers in the front yard, the smashed windows and the door that had been knocked off its hinges.

You didn't want to leave but it was too late. You had no idea where to go, didn’t know where the safe havens the army spoke about where but you picked a direction and walked with your head hung low and tears flooding down your face. It was like the world knew it had taken everything from you, as you walked the sky darkened and the heavens opened, rain soaking your clothes within seconds and leaving you even colder than you had been.

When night came you knew you had to make camp somewhere, it wasn’t safe to carry on when you couldn’t see. It was a strange feeling walking the streets whilst trying to find a place to hide for the night, cars had been turned on their sides, windows were smashed in, trash littered the streets and everything just felt eerie, like you were the only person left.

Eventually you came across a building that had long since been abandoned and tiptoed your way into it, holding your breath as you waited for a clicker to jump out at you. When nothing happened you figured it was safe enough and settled down against the wall, your coat around you as a blanket desperately trying to shield you from the cold.

You didn’t sleep much that night, every time you closed your eyes you saw the clickers, saw your family being torn apart, felt the guilt and the overwhelming sadness. You had no idea what you were supposed to do now, the safest option seemed to be to find one of the safe havens the army had spoken about all those months ago but you had no idea where they were.

It seemed the only realistic option you had was to just keep walking and hope you found something, some remains of humanity, some government site overflowing with people.

So that’s what you did, after getting too few hours of rest you pulled yourself back up, searched the building you were in for some supplies and headed out again, just picked a direction and tried to let your mind go empty as you walked. It wasn’t easy though, each step away from your home seemed to get harder and harder until it felt like you were pulling a boulder along with you.

As much as you didn’t want to think it seemed to be all you were capable of, thoughts running wild until you were drowning inside your own mind, desperately trying to breathe but it became harder and harder. Eventually you had to stop and force yourself to breathe normally, to wait for your vision to focus again before you continued on your way.

You had walked for miles, no clue where you were but your feet were aching something fierce by time you called it a night and found another safe place to hide for a few hours. You knew you wouldn’t get any sleep, the day had been long and filled with unpleasant thoughts that had tears streaming down your face, you couldn’t imagine your dreams would give you a rest either.

The next morning you were up before the sun had had a chance to fully rise, not able to appreciate the quietness of the morning or the way the sky filled with a golden light that spread across everything below or the fresh air. Instead the quiet left you feeling unsettled, your mind was too dark to let any of the morning sun light it up and your lungs felt too tight to breathe the air in.

You didn’t know how long you’d been walking for but eventually you stopped in your tracks, passing through a city you heard a noise around the next corner and held your breath, terrified of what you’d find.

So far you hadn’t come across a single person so your thoughts automatically jumped to the source of the noise being clickers. When you peeked your head around the corner as silently as you could you almost sobbed in relief when you saw actual, real people. Sure they didn’t look all too friendly with their guns strapped to them but you figured in this new world it made sense that the only people left alive would be well armed.

You hesitated for a moment, not sure what you should do but one of the men in the group solved the issue for you when he looked up, a gun immediately trained in your direction and everyone else followed suit. You let out a small cry and immediately ducked back behind the wall.

“Come out with your hands up!” One of the men shouted and you hesitated again, these were the first people you’d come across and you needed help, plus they already knew you were here and probably weren’t just going to let you wander off without knowing if you were a threat.

Slowly you walked around the corner, shaky hands raised and took a few steps towards them, meeting the group halfway.

“Well ain’t you a sweet thing.” One of the men grinned at you and you barely held back a shudder of disgust, your gut telling you to run the other way as fast as you could but you ignored it. “You carrying any weapons on you, baby?”

You opened your mouth in an attempt to speak but the words got stuck in your throat so you just shook your head, taking a hesitant step back.

“What you doing out here all alone without a weapon? You workin’ for someone?” A different man asked, thrusting his gun towards you.

“I’m, I’m not working with anybody.” You told them before wincing, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to let them know you were alone out here. “I got separated from my friend, we’re looking for one of those government safe places.”

You watched as a sickening smile spread across the group's lips, a shudder running down your spine as you waited for somebody to speak.

“Hate to break it to ya, sweetheart, but they were lying ‘bout those places,” the first man spoke and you felt your stomach drop, he had to be lying, there was no way this was all that was left of the world. “You think those fuckers were doing anything to help us, nah this is it now, ain’t nobody helping us.”

“What do you mean they were a lie?” You found the courage to ask, convincing yourself he was lying but another part of you believed it, everything else had gone wrong, why not this too?

“They just told people that before taking them away and slaughterin’ them all. Now we gotta look out for ourselves. Surprised you lasted so long, where you from anyway?” The man asked and you swallowed around the lump in your throat, a sinking wave of depression flooded you, this really was the world.

“S-Stanford. I’m from Stanford.” You choked out, not even fully registering the conversation anymore, anxiety running through your whole body.

“Stanford, eh? Long way from home, you even know where abouts you are, love?” He asked, watching as you shook your head before he grinned. “We’re in Hartford, you walk all the way out here, how long you been travellin’ for?”

“I don’- I don’t know, a day or two.” You told him, finally forcing yourself back to the conversation and seeing how some of the men slowly moved around, it was a move that was clearly meant to look casual but it sent a shiver of fear through you.

“Wow, you hear that boys, she’s been out here for two days. You must be real tired now, huh? We can help you out, we got food, a place to sleep. Of course it ain’t gonna be free but there ain’t no reason to let a sweet little thing like yourself go to waste.” You were circled in, fear running through you and wondering how you were going to get out when they all had guns and you had nothing but the bag on your back.

“I appreciate the offer, really I do, but I think I’m just going to find my friend.” You said shakily, taking a step back, eyes desperately looking for a way out.

“Now you see that ain’t gonna work with me, it’s been too long since I had a pretty little toy.” The man grinned again and you let out a shaky breath.

There was an opening between two of the men but it would mean you had to be quick, hopefully managing to slip past them and then you’d have to run and not risk looking back. You knew you only had one shot at this otherwise you’d be trapped here with them and you refused to let yourself think of what that life would look like.

You waited for the right moment, waited for the guy who had been talking to glance behind him, telling another man to get the car ready. It was then you bolted, constantly moving so that the bullets flying after you couldn’t hit you, running until your feet were even sorer than they had been and your sides ached and burned.

You didn’t stop for what felt like hours but finally it was too much and you had to stop, falling to the floor and panting for air, sweat dripping off you as you pulled your bag off your back and pulled a water out. There was only half left and you knew you had to save it but you couldn’t help but drink most of it.

You somehow managed to pull yourself back up after catching your breath, dragging yourself to shelter. It was the first night you were able to sleep, exhausted and emotionally drained from the day but even in your sleep you couldn’t find any peace, haunted by the images of your dead family, of men forcing you to do whatever they wanted just because they had a gun to point at your head, of a world with no safe place.

When you woke up you felt even more drained than you had before sleeping, the heaviness of your limbs dragging you down, the man’s words ringing in your ears about there being nothing left out here. You hated to believe him but you had walked a long way and found nothing so far.

There was nothing out here anymore.

Still you kept walking, the weight on your shoulders becoming heavier and heavier with each step. You camped out for two more nights, not sure where you were and uncaring. You stopped looking for clickers in the buildings before you entered them, stopped peaking around every corner, and had given up looking for food or water. The only thing of use you had found was a gun, it was old and beat up but it had one bullet in it and you put it in your backpack, with only one bullet you’d make it count.

You were nothing more than an empty shell, a ghost wandering the empty streets of whatever city you had managed to walk to. There was nothing left out here anymore, maybe people like the men you had met days ago could thrive in this new world but you knew you couldn’t. You’d lost everyone and everything you held close, you were alone and there was nothing out here.

You could feel the bone deep exhaustion, the pain that felt like it would last a lifetime and you weren’t sure you could deal with it, not in this world anyway.

You had walked through the night, not caring enough to stop and rest, you never rested, haunted by the memories and nightmares that were now your life. It was easy to just keep walking, fighting to keep your head above water and keep breathing.

You weren’t so sure you wanted to keep fighting. What was the point anymore?

The sun was beginning to rise, you could see the sky turning a burnt orange and figured you’d find a place to watch it. You didn’t have to walk for very long before you came across a long bridge crossing the water, some of the railings were gone from where cars had swerved into them and you sat down heavily, swinging your legs over the edge.

The sun was higher now, the golden tones shining against the water, turning the crystal blue orange. The sounds of the water crashing together actually made your shoulders relax for the first time in days and you knew that it was time.

There was nothing left for you here anymore, you knew you didn’t want to live alone in this world.

Without taking your eyes off the view you reached into your backpack and pulled out the gun, one bullet, one shot to make count. You’d never used a gun before, the metal heavy in your hands and you ran your fingers along its edges before cocking the gun and placing it under your chin.

Tears filled your eyes but you weren’t scared, not really. You kept your eyes ahead, staring at the rising sun. It was the right thing to do, it was either die by your hand or by some clicker or a dark, twisted person. There weren’t any good people left anymore, to have lasted this long there couldn’t be.

You had gotten lucky, managing to hide away with your family, isolated in a town full of supplies but it had only been a matter of time. The image of the clickers tearing your family apart, hearing their screams, came to the forefront of your mind and you knew this was the right thing to do, even if your finger did shake slightly on the trigger.

You took a deep breath, you were ready.

“Hey.” A soft voice called out from behind you causing you to jump, finger falling from the trigger as you whipped around to see a man standing on the bridge with his hands raised in front of him. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Go away.” You choked out, so ready to be done with it.

“Fraid I can’t do that.” The man said and you struggled to keep the tears at bay. “You don’t wanna do that, trust me.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t I want this? There’s nothing left out here.” You cried, watching as the man frowned at you, talking a few steps towards you before crouching down, his hands still raised. “My family is dead. I’m the only one left, why wouldn’t I want to do this?”

“I get it, trust me I do, more than you’d think.” The man told you, keeping his voice as soft as he could, almost like he were speaking to a scared animal, like one wrong word, if he even slightly raised his voice, then you’d spook. “But this ain’t the way to do things. There’s people, let me take you to them, they’ll get you some food, give you a place t’stay. It won’t make it better but you won’t have to do it alone.”

“There are no people anymore.” You told him through a sob and his face softened even more.

“There’s a Quarantine Zone, maybe an hour's walk from here, I was heading back there, let me bring you.” The man pleaded and you shook your head, not believing him. “Whatever you heard about these places, some of it’s true, some fell, some were taken over but this one’s still standing.”

“It doesn’t matter, you said it yourself, a bed and some food won’t make everything better.” You said, wiping at the tears falling down your cheeks.

“No it won’t.” He agreed and moved closer to you until he was sitting next to you, gazing at the rising sun. “I lost someone too, my whole world taken from me. Most important thing in my life was gone like that and it wasn’t fair, wasn’t fair the way I was just supposed to go on when my little girl was gone. It don’t get easier, God I wish I could tell you it did but this isn’t the way.”

“I miss them so much.” You whispered, tears falling freely down your cheeks but the weight on your shoulders, the one you’d been carrying for days, and it was hard to believe it had only been days since your whole world turned upside down, it wasn’t gone, you didn’t think that weight would ever leave, but it wasn’t so heavy.

“I know you do.” The man sighed, turning to look at you and he reached over, keeping his movements slow. You looked down and watched his fingers close around your gun, gently pulling it out of your hands and moving it away from you. You didn’t try to stop him either. “But they wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“I know.” You sobbed, shaking your head and looking back up at the man. “I know they wouldn’t but it’s so hard, they’re gone and I’m here.”

“Let me bring you back to the QZ, it won’t make everything better but it’s a start.” The man murmured, reaching out hesitantly cupping your face, his thumb softly brushing at your cheeks.

You were silent for a few moments, unlike with the men you’d met days ago your gut wasn’t screaming at you to run, nothing was telling you this man wanted to harm you. You didn’t trust him, you weren’t sure you would ever trust anyone in this world but you were willing to give him a chance.

“I’d like that.” You whispered, leaning into his touch, and he smiled softly at you, when you returned the expression you found it was easier than you would have thought.

As you agreed to go with him, rain suddenly came from nowhere, not a little drizzle but a full on downpour of rain that drenched you and the man in seconds. The man looked up at the sky in annoyance but you couldn’t help but laugh, it might have been more of a sob than a laugh really.

Suddenly it felt like you could breathe again, sat on the bridge with the sun higher now, a kind stranger by your side who gave you some semblance of hope that maybe the world wasn’t entirely doomed, you could breathe. You knew the pain and longing would last you a lifetime but if you could just find, just hold on to moments like this, moments of hope then things might get a little bit better.

“We should get going.” The man called over the rain, letting you have a moment to laugh, to look up at the sky and let the rain wash over your face, mixing with the tears.

He watched you nod and he stood up, reaching a hand out for you to take yours. You hesitated for only a moment, eyes searching his before your hand wrapped around his and you let the man pull you to your feet. Once you were up the man gave your hand a squeeze before letting go and putting your gun in his backpack.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” You told him once the two of you started walking, finding it was easier to put one foot in front of the other when somebody was by your side.

“Joel.” The man offered his name and you couldn’t stop the small smile twitching at your lips.

He was right, things wouldn’t ever get better and you would always feel the loss of everything but you were glad he was there, glad he hadn’t seen a girl about to put herself out of her misery and left her be. It still hurt every day but he was right about another thing too, you didn’t have to do it all on your own.

Joel Miller Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -

@avengersfan25, @happycupcakeenthusiast​, @cilliansangel, @sleepylunarwolf,  @spideysimpossiblegirl, @definitelykyles, @top1bbgloak, @handsupforamiracle,  @irishavengersassemble, @nao1800,  @hysteriaabsd,  @imposter-27, @hoplessromantic17, @kitten-xoxxo , @mirasantidotes, @audrie-bryant, @pank0w

Thank you so much for reading!💙