Tamar X Y/n - Tumblr Posts

Can I request Tamar x reader where it’s super angsty and reader is seriously hurt, maybe she gets thrown overboard and drowns but Tamar or Tolya is able to revive her, just super sad.

Thank you for requestion! I did my best, I hope this is close to what you had in mind :)

almost too late

Warnings: graphic descriptions of injuries, character death

Word count: 2.8k

“Having a woman on crew is bad luck” He said to her, as she was leaning on the rails, looking out into the horizon. It’s mid-day, the sun is bright above head, and there’s been shark sightings in the area. She’s always loved sharks - they’re magnificent and dangerous creatures, and they fascinate her. All it takes is one person to tell her they saw one, and she’ll spend her free time that day trying to spot it. 

“What are you going to do about it? Throw me over?” The condescending tone in her voice made his nostrils flare.  

“Maybe I will.” 

“You won’t do it.” she said, egging him on. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe she should stop, but he’d gotten on her nerves for too long. Too long, even though he’d only been a member of the crew for a few weeks. As one of two women on board, he picked a fight with her almost immediately, he saw Tamar spar once, and avoided her like the plague. Y/n didn’t make a fuss about it, being a woman on board she’s learned to hold her own - and most of the crew treats her with respect. She wishes he’d be more bold about it, yell something in front of people, but instead he keeps whispering in her ear - nasty, hateful things. Y/n turns her head to snap something nasty at him, but before she can she feels a shove on her shoulders, and screams. She’s flipping through the air, overboard. He actually did it. Actually pushed her over, and there’s shark sightings in the air. For Saint’s sake, this has got to be some sort of nightmare. Y/n figured out very quickly that it was not a nightmare but in fact would be the longest ten minutes of her life. 

-Tamar POV- 

She heard y/n’s scream and immediately ran to the last place she saw her, up by the rails. Dmitri is leaning against them, looking over with his eyes wide open. 

“What happened?” She yells, snapping him out of it. All he does is point towards the water. Y/n is flailing in, panicking, waving her hands above her head. The ship is going fast, and leaving her behind. The waves are gentle but there’s been shark sightings. 

“Shit.” She curses, before turning and bellowing orders. There’s more to the story with the deckhand, but right now she doesn’t have time for that. The ship slows, coordinates are called to turn back, and a small boat is deployed, Tamar and Tolya are on it, along with a tidemaker, two squallers, and some more crew. They must’ve gone at least a mile from her last spotted location. Their tidemaker, Hendrik, is calming the waves in front of them, while the squallers push at full speed. It’s only been eight minutes, she should’ve lasted that long. Tolya puts a calming hand on her shoulder, 

“We’ll find her.” He says in a low tone. Then, they hear the screams. They spot her 200 feet ahead, thrashing around, one hand punching some kind of beast next to her. 

“It’s a shark.” Hendrik yells. 

One of the other crew on board grabs a rifle, trying to aim for it. 

“No.” I yell, “it’s too close.” 

Tolya’s hands come up to feel for the animals heartbeat, I can tell it’s difficult for him without a clear line of sight, and I join. We’re able to slow the animal's heartbeat, enough that it’s having difficulty moving, but with the water we can’t get enough of a grip to kill it. I spot y/n’s other arm reaching back - a piece of metal glinting in the sunlight. Her arm launches down, and she stabs the animal right between the eyes. I know how much that must’ve cost her. Her favorite animal, dead by her hand. Instead of hurt for her, I feel pride. She killed it, despite the pain, she fought through and killed it. 

-Y/n POV- 

I knew I only had to hold on for about 10 minutes, I knew someone would come, that they wouldn’t abandon me to this fate. But, I couldn’t stop the dread from sneaking into my heart. What if they didn’t? I focus on my breathing, steadying my heart, and floating on my back. It’s no use trying to swim, the waves might be gentle now but I have no sense of direction. Seven minutes pass and I feel the water shifting around me. A force knocks me back, and all I feel is pain - pain on my forearm, a strong bite of something. 

A shark. A fucking shark. This has to be a joke, a nightmare, but I’ve never felt this kind of pain in my nightmares before. Fight, flight, or freeze? Thankfully my instincts choose to fight. I threw all of my effort into punching it’s nose, screaming involuntarily at the top of my lungs. I feel the animal slow, out of the corner of my eye I see the boat, Tamar and Tolya with their hands up. They’re slowing the animal down but they can’t kill it. I feel cool metal against my waist - a knife, I’d tucked one in there earlier. Why didn’t I think of this before? I reach my arm back and stab right in between the eyes, the sharks grip loosens and i’m able to yank my mangled arm out. The shark sinks, lost to the giant depths of the ocean, I watch it and my knife go. I turn my head, the boat is getting closer. Tamar is saying something, shouting something, but the words blur. 

My mind is screaming not to, but I turn to look at my arm. The sight of it - mangled, barely hanging on below the elbow, twisted with bone and blood showing. The water near me is tainted with blood - my blood. I try and fight for my consciousness, but my eyes roll to the back of my head, and I faint - the ocean taking me under. 

-Tamar POV- 

I’m screaming to her, at the top of my lungs, screaming out instructions. 

“Keep your eyes on me.” I yell, I need her focused, and calm, if she panics it’ll make the situation worse. I’m able to push the anguished part of me away, lock it deep in my heart for now, it won’t help anything in this situation. I watch her head turn in slow motions, watch her look at her arm. I notice every detail - her face paling, the freckles brought on by the sun, the small curve of her nose, her hair splayed around her, blood pooling around her body, and with horror I see her eyes tilt back, and her body sink. 

Without a second thought, I dive in. There’s a splash, Tolya is behind me. She hasn’t sunk far but I fight to keep my eyes open against the sting of the salt water. I grab her good arm, and start tugging back up, my legs fighting against to get us to the surface. With a gasp I break free, Tolya is right there and he takes over, quickly tugging her back to the boat. Hendrik helps tug her on and I see his face pale as his eyes notice her arm. 

“Turn around.” I snap, “Get us back.” The last thing we need is another person passing out. They listen without question and quickly we’re sailing back towards the ship. I turn my eyes back to her and start drawing the water out of her lungs. I see Tolya trying to stem the blood flow, trying to stop it as best as he can. Time ceases to exist as I work on bringing her heart rate back up, there’s no pulse. I push everything I can in, artificially keeping her heart alive, hoping for a breath, a natural rhythm, anything. 

“Please, please.” I whisper. There’s so much I haven’t said - so many chances I haven’t taken. ‘Stop’ I tell myself. I can’t think of that. Not now. 

Tolya is cursing next to me - that catches my attention, my brother rarely curses. 

Her heart is beating again, I breathe out a sigh of relief. “There’s a heart beat.” I tell him, and hold my hand over her mouth, she’s breathing. The breaths are shallow but they’re there. A little bit - not all, of the tension in my shoulders relaxes, until I turn my gaze over to her arm. 

It’s mangled beyond repair. With the bones that splintered, the flesh missing, the bleeding, theres no saving it. Tolya already knew that, and he’s stopped the veins and arteries near the elbow. His hands are bloody and I gulp slightly, tears pricking my eyes. 

“I can’t save the arm.” He whispers. 

I feel us moving up, the squaller are bringing us back on the ship. I know it would be easier for Tolya to carry her, but I gently scoop her into my arms, bringing her back on deck and down below. Sturmhond is there with one of the crew explaining what happened. I see the deckhand from earlier slouching in the corner and my eyes narrow, I'll deal with him later. We make it below and there’s a cot set out in one of the larger rooms. Thankfully she’s still unconscious, and her heart is still beating. 

“Can you save the arm?” Sturmhond asks, he trailed us below decks. 

“No.” Tolya says, his face set in grim determination. I lay her on the cot and drag a short table up to prop her arm. My hand reaches for an axe, better to get it over with. 

“Don’t look.” I mutter to the others and they listen. I take a deep breath and a few tears start streaming down my face. With one slice her arm is off, the thunk on the floor makes my tears stream slightly faster, and my hands are shaking as I rest my axe on the floor. I crouch next to her to start healing, start stitching the remaining skin back together, but I feel a hand on my shoulder, Sturmhond is standing behind me. 

“Tolya’s taking care of the arm.” He says, I hear the door shut, but my gaze doesn’t waver from the task at hand. Once her arm is sealed, I sit back on my heels with a sigh, checking her heartbeat again. 

“It was close.” I say. 

“I know how much she means to you” his voice is low, but not a whisper. My head snaps back to meet his eyes. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My heartbeat raises, how could anyone know? I haven’t told anyone. 

He rocks back on his heels, his face contemplative. “You’re discreet, but don’t forget I was raised in a royal court. I notice these type of things. She feels the same way. Now that she’s almost died, maybe it’ll be enough motivation to tell her.” He winks and leaves. Always the dramatics. But he is right, I sigh and drag a chair over next to the cot. I don’t know if she can hear me, but i’ll say it anyways. It’s easier when she’s unconscious, I grab her hand. 

“I like you.” My words are hesitant, I don’t know where to start. “We’ll get you through this, and after. After, if you’ll let me, next port visit I'll take you on a date. A proper one. Celebrate your survival.” She says with a dark chuckle. Her breath catches when she feels her hand squeeze hers slightly. Her eyes don’t open, but she knows. She heard. 

“So you can hear me. Can you squeeze my hand again?” 

Another small squeeze, weaker this time. 

“Squeeze if you can open your eyes.” 

There’s no response, nothing. I feel her heartbeat start to weaken again. She breathes in heavily - a gasp. I know that sound, it’s the death rattle. 

“No, no, no.” I say, my hands moving quickly to keep her heartbeat steady. “Not now, not after I told you all of that.” 

When Tolya comes back, ten minutes later, I'm still working to keep her heart beat steady. “Almost lost her.” I say, like i’m still not working to keep her alive. Maybe speaking it into existence will help. 

He takes over. After the better part of an hour, her heart starts to beat again on its own, and I can breathe easily again. 

“That wasn’t very nice.” I tell her, taking her hand in mine again, her arm draped across her stomach. Tolya gives me an incredulous look, “She can hear me.” I say to him in Shu.” 

I hear a groan and she shifts again, her eyes blink open, adjusting to the light. I can’t help the big grin that spreads across my face. 

-Y/n POV- 

I heard everything, well after what Sturmhond said, I'm not sure about before that. Even laying in bed I feel strange, a bit off-balance, but I can’t tell what it’s from. My eyes blink open and the first thing I see is Tamar’s hand holding mine, the next is the big grin on her face. 

The first thing I feel is a strange pain coming from my left arm, I lift my arm up. My eyes widen. Half of it, gone, missing. I switch my gaze to Tamar’s and I see the pity and sadness in her eyes. My eyes well with tears and I can’t help the sobbing that starts wretching through me. I’m sore but manage to prop myself up, it’s gone. Tamar’s hand leaves mine, and I feel around the edges of my stump. It’s sore, but I press anyways, feeling each edge of the newly healed wound. I feel weight shift beside me, and an arm come around my shoulder. I don’t need to look to know it’s her. Automatically, my head leans into her shoulder. She doesn’t say anything when her shirt soaks through with tears. Her thumb brushes the tears from my face, I need a distraction - anything. 

“So a proper date?” I mumble through the tears, my words coming out in an embarrassing croak. Tamar’s face flushes, and my eyes gaze across the room. Tolya is in here, I grin. “So he didn’t know about your deathbed confession?”

“Don’t say deathbed.” She mutters through clenched teeth.

Tolya, thankfully, ignores my comment. “What happened?” He asks instead. 

“Dmitri pushed me over.” I say without hesitation. Their bodies tense, eyes taking on a glint of something dangerous. 

“Tell me you’re joking.” Tolya says. 

“I egged him on.” I try to backtrack. 

“That doesn’t matter.” Tamar replies. “How long has he been bothering you?” She’s perceptive, i’ll give her that. I sigh, there’s no point in lying to them - they’d be able to tell. 

“Pretty much since he got here.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Tolya’s face looks murderous, but not at me. 

“It wasn’t that big of a deal.” I mumble. 

“Anyone being harassed onboard is a big deal.” Tolya turns, heading to the door. “I’ll deal with it.” He says over his shoulder, the door swinging shut behind him. 

“He’s lucky it isn’t me.” Tamar says and I chuckle. She’s right about that. 

“Did you mean it?” I ask

“Mean what?” 

“When you said you like me?” 

She doesn’t reply, instead one hand coming up to cup my cheek. 

“Yes, y/n. I meant.” She leans in slowly, hesitantly, and looks to me as our lips are close together. I nod, and she closes the gap. The kiss is soft, barely a graze against my lips, before she pulls back again. 

“You should be resting.” She says. “Your heartbeat is fast.” 

“Don’t spy on my heart.” I reach with my good arm to cup the back of her head, crashing our lips together. I feel her smile when I kiss her. 

– 

Y/n survived another few months, but the loss of her arm hit her hard. Once they hit the next port, they searched out a Grisha healer to take a look at the wound. The healer told them she’s lucky to still be alive, but that the type of shark that bit her has a slow-acting venom. 

Y/n’s face had blanched at the news. The healer gave her a few months, maybe a year, left. 

“Well.” She said with a shaky voice, “Looks like i’ve got some things to cross off my list.” 

To everyone’s surprise, she stayed on the Volkvolny till the end. She had no other home to go to. Although she couldn’t do much besides help with navigation and the lines occasionally, Sturmhond kept her on, and refused everytime she asked if he wanted her to leave. 

When the time came, it was Tamar who said the prayer. “Let the sea carry her safe harbor, and may the Saints receive her on a brighter shore..” Tamar’s eyes shone with tears, more streaming down her face, but nobody mentioned it, nobody said anything.

“Saints receive her.” the crew replied. 

What if reader was Nikolai’s sister who’s in a relationship with Tamar and when they’re at sea they can actually be together but on land they can’t because it’s forbidden, maybe a jealousy one where her parents are pushing reader into an arranged marriage.

princesses get what they want

Tamar x Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: “I’ll figure it out. Princesses are used to getting what they want.” 

“Oh and am I something you want?” Her eyes glimmered with a challenge.

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I had fun writing this.

I was pissed when Nikolai said no to me accompanying them on the whaler. But he had a point - it’s too risky to have both of us together, to chance the Darkling recognizing us. Tailoring only went so far. We can’t shake the mannerisms we share, even the crew suspect we’re related, although they don’t know our true identities. Plus, it would be a shame for Ravka to lose both of their spares in one go. 

“I can’t trust you not to snap back at the Grisha.” He didn’t face me, still stood pouring over a map. 

My eyes narrowed. “Can’t trust me?” 

His head snapped over his shoulder. “You know as well as I do that your attitude can be … volatile.” 

I scoffed. “I have self control.” 

“Do you not remember the fight you got in with the Grisha children? How did that end last time?” 

“With a few bruised egos.” I laughed at the memory. Nikolai didn’t laugh. I’d caused quite the headache, and he’d been the one to explain it to my mother. 

Tamar snickered from the corner and I shot her a glare. She’s not helping the situation. 

--

I couldn’t help the relief I felt when Tamar returned safe, nor the anger when Nikolai announced she’d be sharing quarters with the Sun Summoner. I dragged him away to have a quiet, but heated exchange. 

“You didn’t bother to ask me before kicking me out of my room?” I hissed. 

“There’s a better room for you.” He tried to soothe. 

“Oh you know that’s not the reason.” 

He winced, looking around for someone to come interrupt. I poked a finger into his chest. “You owe me one.” He nodded before waving Privyet over, I took that as my chance to leave and find Tamar. 

I intercepted her on her way back up to get her rations. “Did you agree to this before?” I asked through clenched teeth. 

“I found out when you did.” She shrugged. 

“You’re not upset?” 

“Of course I am.” She said, with a tone of surprise, “But I can’t question him in front of everyone.” 

I sighed, she has a point. “I’m stealing you for a few hours.” I said, before dragging her back down, she laughed. 

--

“Are you excited to be back?” Alina asked as we walked into our lodgings for the night.

I looked at her, it was a genuine question. “I’d rather be anywhere else.” I answer drily. Tolya chuckled behind me. 

“Why?” She pushed. 

I sighed, not in annoyance, but explaining the situation might make it a bit more real than I want to. 

“Come on,” I said, and tugged her up the stairs towards our room. I shut the door and sat on the windowsill, motioning for her to take a seat. She sat on my bed, looking vaguely uncomfortable. The door opened again, Tamar walked in and leaned against it. I didn’t pay much attention to her, it would hurt too much to look at her now, and to explain this. Before she could say anything I started explaining. 

“Once we get back, they’re going to start trying to marry me off.” Alina glanced toward Tamar, her expression stony. I couldn’t meet her eyes. “And I love being called a bastard.” 

Alina’s eyes widened. I’m sure she’d heard the rumors, but confirmation is another thing entirely. 

I chuckled darkly, “Mother couldn’t stay away from the Kaelish.” There was a bite in my voice, an edge. “Isn’t it obvious?” I said, waving my hand over my face. Neither of the women in the room commented, Tamar already knew but Alina seemed in shock. I pushed myself up from my seat, heading to the door. I stopped a few paces away, turning my head over my shoulder.  

“I love my brother, but do yourself a favor and don’t marry him. Court is fucked up, you don’t want to be involved any more than you have to be Sun Summoner.”

I brushed past Tamar, “Always the dramatics” she whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes but walked out. Hopefully she wasn’t on guard duty tonight, and I could steal her for a few hours. 

“You like it.” I said, and closed the door behind me. I heard her talking to Alina behind me, but didn’t reply. My shoulders sagged as I walked out the door. I felt it coming back - the burden. I didn’t like it. 

--

“You’ve finally returned.” Mother kissed both of my cheeks and I had to fight the urge to cringe back. 

“Did you not get any of our summons?” She asked. 

“They must’ve been lost.” I replied, my voice a bit distant. The tone I'd always adopted at home. I saw Tamar glance at me out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t dare look back. If there was a mirror nearby I'd have been able to see the mask that slowly set in place, the hardness that settled in behind my eyes. It’s a shame how quickly old habits settle back in. One glance at Nikolai, and I saw it on him. My eyes narrowed as I watched Vasily sitting next to ‘father’. The hatred that swarmed through my body threatened to burst through, the one who’d made my life living hell growing up. The tension must’ve been palpable because I felt Nikolai’s hand on my shoulder. 

“It’s been a long journey.” He said, “We’ll settle in and return for dinner.” He steered me out of the room, hand on my shoulder, and I caught Tamar’s eye on the way out. I winked at her, and to her credit she didn’t break face - but I saw the amused glint in her eyes. At least one of us found it funny. It didn’t escape our parents' attention that we didn’t ask to be dismissed, that we left. It was a subtle threat - that we could leave again if we wanted to. 

“Did we really have to come back?” I muttered to Nikolai as we walked out of the throne room. 

“The walls have ears.” He replied, and I sealed my mouth shut. “We’ll talk later.” He finished, dropping me off at my room. I forced a smile on my face as servants began fluttering in and out, all but shoving me straight into the bath.

--

I agreed to meet her, just past sundown, on the grounds. She said there’s something she wants to show me. Sneaking past my guards and all of the servants dotting around too a bit of effort - and a little bit of blind faith, jumping out of the window into the soft bushes. 

I landed with a grunt, and heard laughter coming from across the lawn. My eyes narrowed and I saw a figure running towards me. Her. She’s supposed to meet me somewhere else completely. I’m struggling out of the bushes when her hand appears in front of me. I considered batting it away but ended up taking it and let her heave me to my feet, dragging me out of the bushes. I cross my arms to glare at her. 

“You weren’t supposed to be anywhere near here.” 

She laughed, a grin spreading across her face. The grin I love so much. “I couldn’t miss seeing the princess land in the bushes.” 

“How’d you know I’d take the window? I could’ve snuck through the halls.”

“Past all the guards Nikolai has stationed?” She laughed again. “You’re good, but you wouldn’t have made it past the first set of doors before someone told him.” 

I rolled my eyes. She has a point. Her eyes scan the surrounding area before she pulls me right into a tight hug. I squeeze back, holding on as long as I can. Eventually she untangles herself from me and kisses my forehead. 

“I’ve missed you.” She murmurs, holding me back at the shoulders. 

“I wish we could see each other more.” 

Her hands drop, one taking mine instead. I took this for granted at sea, being with each other publicly, without any fears. “Let’s go for a walk.” She said instead. 

We took the long way around the gardens. The silence felt tense for once, normally it was comfortable - easy. 

“Mother wants me to start meeting suitors.” I said, my voice low. I saw Tamar’s shoulders tense. 

“How do you feel about that?” She replied. 

I stopped and turned to face her. “What do you think?” 

“How am I supposed to know?” Maybe the hurt showed through my eyes because her eyes softened and she wrapped me up in another hug. “We knew this would happen.”

“I’ll fight it. I’ll find a way.” She hummed, like she didn’t believe me, but I would. I would find a way to get out of this, somehow. 

“I’m jealous.” 

That came as a surprise. It shouldn’t have. 

“Why?” I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips. “Nevermind.” I said quickly, covering my tracks. “What do you want to show me?” 

She placed a soft kiss on my lips before taking my hand again and smiling, dragging me towards the stables. We stood around the outside edge, in the shadows, watching the fights. We quietly placed bets on the fighters - I lost a fair bit of money, not that it really mattered to me. It reminded me of the Volkvolny - and she knew it. 

“Think any of them would fight me?” I asked. 

She laughed, “Not if they know who you are.” 

“Let’s get Genya to tailor me.” I said, my practically bouncing on my feet. “Tomorrow.” 

“And how are we going to explain who you are?” 

“I’ll figure it out. Princesses are used to getting what they want.” 

“Oh and am I something you want?” Her eyes glimmered with a challenge. I took a quick look around, nobody was paying attention, and dragged her to a corner. 

“Anyone can see.” She hissed “I know this place better than anyone.” I winked at her before dragging her off to a hidden corner on the grounds. 

I made Tamar a lot of money the next night, and pissed Tolya off. He figured it out after the first three fights, and dragged me back towards the Grand Palace, Tamar laughing her ass off in tow. Thankfully, she healed me, and nobody was none the wiser that they got their ass kicked by the Princess of Ravka. 

-- 

A party was thrown at the Grand Palace in honor of Nikolai’s birthday, and the Queen took it as an excuse to arrange some suitors to come visit. Tamar was on guard in the corner, the Sun Summoner attending. I faked some smiles, a few gentle touches on arms here and there. Too many dances with grubby hands. I was dancing with the son of a wealthy Kerch merchant when his hand drifted a bit too low. I firmly moved it back onto my waist, but caught Tamar’s face out of the corner of my eye - the look in her eyes made me gulp. She didn’t see me watching her, her eyes were narrowed on the man in front of me, waiting a few seconds too long before roaming the room again. I tried to catch her eye several times, even tried to stand next to her at one point, but it’s like she sensed me coming and moved before I could get close. I couldn’t fight the hurt and anger that slowly built up inside me. I’d go see her later tonight. I had too. 

I didn’t get that chance. Nikolai and I barely escaped with our lives - and I had the honor of dragging Baghra out of her cave. I fought in the infantry too, I thought I knew war, but shadow monsters that can’t be killed are something else entirely. The Darkling had changed the playing field completely, we were caught off guard, caught by surprise. I should have felt bad about Vasily being ripped to pieces, and part of me did, but the other was so angry that he put everything at risk for his own vanity, that I didn’t have space in my heart to mourn for him. 

I went back with him that night, and I saw no sign of her, no sign of anyone, just bodies littering the ground. No survivors in sight. I vomited that night for hours. Hidden away from everyone. She had to be alive, had to. I felt it, I would know if she was dead. Maybe it’s fake hope, but I clung to it like a lifeline. 

-- 

I didn’t expect anything special when Nikolai returned from the raid, he’d gone many times, and this is the one I decided to sit out, having been injured on the last. Of course the one I miss is the one Tamar showed up at. He conveniently forgot to tell me she’d been spotted at one of the smuggling stations. 

“I thought of you every day.” I said between kisses, hidden in one of many back hallways. 

“I did too.” She replied. 

“If you still want me.” Tamar went to interrupt, but I held up one hand. “Now that Nikolai’s King. There’s nothing stopping us.” 

Her head lowered, mouth moving to graze my ear. She didn’t answer my question directly. “Every time one of those men would put a hand on you. Every time you had to flirt back. I thought I'd explode.” She pushed me towards the wall, my back pressed against the stone cold. Tamar moved slowly, her hand tracing the side of my face, I leaned into her touch. “I couldn’t think of you the last few months. The idea that you might be dead. It was too painful.” 

I tilted my head to meet her eyes. “I knew you’d be alive.” I saw the confusion on her face. “I would’ve felt it if you died.” I held a hand up to my heart. It might be the cheesiest thing I've ever said, but the small smile on her face was worth it. I couldn’t handle it any longer, I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in, pulled her into the kiss I’d been waiting months for. 

What about a soulmate au with Tamar and reader?

this is inconvenient

Tamar Kir-Bataar x f!Reader  

A/N: I had so much fun writing thank you for the idea! I might end up adding more to it :)

Word count: ~2.7k

Warnings: mentions of human trafficking, descriptions of violence

Summary: Tamar meets her soulmate in less-than-desirable circumstances.

-Y/n POV-

We both felt the tug at the same time, one glance into her eyes and she knew what it was.  

“For fucks sake.” She said, staring at me. Her knife on my throat. I fought the urge to laugh as the cool metal of her blade pressed into my skin. I’m lucky the tug came quickly enough for her to hesitate. 

“This is inconvenient.” I sighed, trying to push back and put space between us. Her grip on the back of my head, her fist in my hair, tightened. I felt an uncomfortable itching sensation on my forearm. There’s the tattoo. 

“What’s your name?” She asked 

“Does it matter?” I answered. Soulmate or not - the look in her eyes tells me she would still kill me. I carefully move my hands in front of me, yanking up one sleeve to try and show my indenture tattoo, to prove i’m not a slaver, that i’m not here my choice. 

She shoved me down, my back hitting the crate. I wince at the impact but i’m unarmed, caught off guard. Her fist comes up, clenching. I try to roll away but felt my heart rate drop rapidly . ‘A fucking heart render.’ is the last thought drifting through my head before I fall unconscious. 

-Tamar POV- 

“Why’s that one alive?” Sturmhond asks, pointing towards the girl sleeping near the crate, her body bent in what must be an uncomfortable position. I turn my arm, yanking my sleeve up to show the words etched in black. 

“This is inconvenient.” Sturmhond read the them before breaking out into laughter. He continues laughing for a solid minute while I scowl at him. Finally, he takes a few deep breaths and calms himself. “Do you need me to kill her for you?” His tone is light, but I can see the certainty in his eyes - if I say yes he would kill her. 

Tamar shook her head. “She’s an indenture.” she says, having spotted the tattoo on the other her wrist, she couldn’t tell where exactly to but the marking makes it obvious. 

“Grisha?” He asked. 

“I don’t know. It’s likely, considering it’s a Kerch ship.” Kerch Slavers love to indenture Grisha they find, especially Squallers and Tidemakers. That’s one circumstance they don’t particularly care about gender. 

“If she is, we can offer sanctuary, a place here. Get rid of the tattoo.” Sturmhond’s always been generous to indentures they find - giving them a way out, oftentimes the Grisha working on board are former indentures. 

“If she’s not?” I asked sharply.

He turns to look at me, carefully. “Still get rid of the tattoo if she wants. We can drop her off at the next port.” He saw my eyes narrow. “Or offer a space here, your call.” He holds his hands up. 

“To think, I almost killed her.” I murmur. 

“Not the best first meeting, especially considering you’ll have those words etched on you for the rest of your life.” No amount of tailoring can get rid of a soulmate tattoo. About ⅓ of the population actually ends up finding their soulmates - if official reports are listened to. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will make a good match. The core, the Saint given, parts of the person are said to match, but culture and upbringing can change someone. 

-Y/n POV-

The door to my glorified cell opens. I’d tried to get out, but it was locked from the outside, and there was absolutely nothing to pick the lock with - all of my weapons, hair pins, everything had been stripped from my body. My soulmate enters with someone else, a giant man who looks like her. Siblings - or cousins maybe. 

I eye both of them cautiously. My hands are bound, far enough apart they suspect I might be Grisha. They’re right about that. They’re wrong in assuming I can’t summon like this, but I bide my time. I could summon, but I doubt it will win me any favors.

I stay in my seat, although I am tempted to throw the chair at them. They close the door behind them, the giant takes up position in the corner, the woman - my soulmate apparently, leans against the door. She doesn’t say anything, just gazes at me for a few minutes. I refuse to break the silence. 

“Are you an indenture?” She finally asks. 

“You mean glorified slave?” I laugh. “Yes, I am."

“Everyone thinks you’re dead now.” The man answers from the corner. “You’re essentially free.” 

“Are the rest of them dead?” I ask. 

“Yes.” She answers without hesitation. 

“Good.” I say quietly. The only show of surprise is the slight raising of her eyebrows. 

“Are you Grisha?” He asks me. 

Against my better judgment, I clench my fists, swirling my hands to direct a gust of wind at his face. His arms come up to shield, and he ducks. I felt another hand wrench my head back, and the cool metal of a blade against my throat. One well placed knick and my windpipe would be sliced wide open - or I'd bleed out in seconds. I’m surprised she’s going for the weapon instead of just knocking me unconcsious like earlier. 

“If this is how you treat your soulmate, I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies.” I laugh.  

“Who says you’re not both?” She snaps at me.

“The only enemy I have is the one who put me on the other ship.” I say quietly. A moment later my hair is released and I breathe out a sigh of relief. The knife leaves my throat, and her hands unlock the modified shackles. Apparently that was enough to convince her, but again heart-renders can tell when someone is lying. I shake my wrists out, trying to rub away the red marks. 

–Tamar POV- 

I stand at the stern, arms propped up on the railing, gazing out at the horizon as Nikolai joins me. 

“I know she’s your soulmate.” He says, “but she’s a pain in the ass. And unfortunately one of the most powerful squallers I've met.” 

“You like her.” I say, almost accusingly. 

“She’s amusing.” He replies. “And taking quickly to the airboats. Have you spoken to her?” He turns to face me. 

“Neither of us have tried.” I scratch the back of my neck. 

“This is uncharted territory for both of you, but this is your ship.” He comments. It’s not an accusation, and I know that, but it feels like one. 

“You have a point.” I admit reluctantly 

His voice lowers, “not many people get to find theirs. Especially people living like us.” 

We stand in silence for a few more moments before I head off to go start my watch.

“I’ll think about it.” I say over my shoulder. I see his smirk, he knows he’s won. I’m impressed with how quickly she’s integrated herself with the crew and other Grisha. She’s charming, funny, and fiery. Three traits that are serving her well on board. I shake my head, trying to put thoughts of her out of my mind. I grow more distracted by her each day. I didn’t pay much attention to the watch list today - to who would be my partner. I’m surprised to see who meets me up at the tower. I have a feeling it was done on purpose. 

-Y/n POV-

Watch with Tamar, and my first one. I haven’t specifically avoided her, just not started any conversations or stuck around long in her presence. Maybe I am avoiding her, maybe that makes me a coward. But it’s not my space, not my arena, it’s her move. I’m stubborn and patient enough to wait. 

“Kruge for your thoughts?” I hear a voice. I was lost in thought, waiting for her to join. My head snaps around to see her. She’s beautiful,dark cropped hair, golden tilted eyes, bronze skin. My cheeks pink slightly - I can tell she notices by the slight smirk on her face. I’m tempted to throw something at her, just to smack it off. 

“It’s strange being here.” I finally reply. 

“How different is it?” She asks. I was indentured to some Kerch slavers previously, before Sturmhond’s crew attacked the ship. I know my life was only spared because of the soulmate bond, and I'm grateful for it. 

“I haven’t felt the urge to sink the entire ship.” I laughed. “Or murder anyone.” 

“Is that your way of saying you like it here?” Her lips turn up at the corners. ‘Stop staring at them.’ I tell myself, but my gaze hangs a second too long. 

“It’s a strong possibility.” I admit, turning my head back out to sea, to keep an eye out for anything. “Tell me about you.” I say. It came out as more of a question than I would’ve liked, but she obliges. 

“My mother was a Ravkan Grisha, my father a Shu Mercenary. Before she died she made him promise to take us to Novyi Zem instead of being drafted by the Second Army. The day after she died we set off.” 

“How’d you get to sea?”

“Sturmhond found us after our father died, and offered us a chance out here. We were mercenaries before that. Still are technically.” I appreciate how open she is with me. 

“We being you and Tolya?” 

“Yes.” Her fingers tap on the railing. “What about you?” Her head doesn’t turn, keeping an eye out on the Sea, but I catch her watching me through her peripherals. 

I hesitate. There’s a lot, but also almost nothing, to my story. “I fled the Wandering Isle, to Kerch, or tried to. The sailors I thought were rescuing me ended up getting me into that mess. Better than having my blood drained.” I laugh, laughing is the only way I can talk about it without crying - the memories are still fresh. 

She didn’t laugh, or smile. “I can remove it.” She said, instead. 

“Remove what?” 

“The tattoo.” 

My eyes widen. It isn’t the same as getting rid of an indenture completely, but if everyone thinks I’m dead - and the tattoo is gone. That might as well be my freedom. I don’t know what to say, what words to put into it. It probably seems so simple to her, but it means the world to me. She waits patiently for my answer, thankfully not pushing me. 

“Please.” Is all I can force out, my voice chokes up a little and I swallow hard, one hand tapping the railing, the other wiping away the small tears in my corner. 

“Once our watch is up.” She spares me a quick glance. I look back, only to be scolded.

“Eyes out.” She says, and I roll my eyes. We make easy chatter the rest of the time. Talking to her feels natural, feels like I can trust her almost immediately. It makes sense - given the soulmate bond, but maybe we’d still be able to talk like this under different circumstances, I hope so.

At the end of our watch she asks the question I’ve dreaded. “Did you ever try and save any of them?” Her tone is neutral. I feel the familiar ache in my chest, the tightness that comes with the memories of the people enslaved to be sold, their faces cross through my mind - one after the other. I’ll never forget them. 

“Once.” I say, and turn around so my back faces her. I lift the back of my top, exposing a small sliver of skin - enough that she can see the scarring. It took weeks to heal after - even with Grisha healing abilities, a wicked lash can do a lot of damage. I hear her breath catch. “It was worth it.” I turn back around, “they got away.” 

“I’m surprised they didn’t kill you.” 

“I’m more valuable alive.” I say with a smirk. “I’d only been with them two months before you caught them.” I admit. “How long have you been with Sturmhond?” I change the subject. 

“A year and a half.” 

“Is he good to you?” I ask quietly. 

“We chose him for a reason. He treats us well, and gives us freedom, he offers you a spot. Will you take it?” 

“I like flying those little boats.” I pause for a few seconds, tilting my head to the side to gave over the rest of the deck below us. “I will.” The determination sets in my voice, in my tone. I’ve already admitted that to myself - that i’d take the spot - regardless. I’ve held desperately onto hope that it would be offered, working my ass off to learn as much as I can. Even if my mouth has gotten me a few warning glances. 

Tamar grins, her grins are contagious and come easy, I hope it stays that way. “I’m glad.” My cheeks flush and I turn away from her, eyes gazing back out to the sea. 

“How old are you?” I change the subject - again. 

“21. You?” 

“19.” Thankfully we’re relatively close in age - Grisha can look deceptively young. 

After our watch finishes, Tamar leads me back down to her small cabin. She motions for me to take a seat on her hammock, and I sit down carefully, trying not to rock it too much. She crouches in front of me and my breath catches as she holds my wrist, flipping it over so the tattoo is visible. Her touch is light - and I don’t mind the itch, my eyes are transfixed on her as she works but she doesn’t seem uncomfortable under my gaze, in fact her cheeks flush red. I catch a glimpse of the tattoo on her forearm and laugh. 

Her eyes flick up to meet mine. “What’s so funny?”

“You’ll be stuck with those words forever.” I shrug. 

“So will you.” 

“I don’t know which is worse.” I admit. 

“All done.” She says, releasing my wrist. I look down, the tattoo is completely gone, no evidence of the past left on it. I run my fingers over it in awe, It’s unblemished, perfectly back to how it was before. I don’t notice Tamar moving until the hammock rocks slightly and her knee presses into mine, my head snaps to the side, she’s sat down next to me, staring at the tattoo on my arm. ‘For fucks sake.’

“I feel like I should apologize for that.” She chuckles. 

“Don’t. I’ll enjoy telling the story of how we met.” I bite my lip as I realize my mistake, holding my breath. It sounds like I'm assuming we’ll be together - assuming she’ll accept it. My heart starts beating rapidly, even if she wasn’t a heart render I'm certain she’d be able to hear it. Her hand grabs my wrist, her thumb gently circling my palm. I feel my heart rate come back down to normal. She moves her hand back as quickly as she grabbed it, like she’s unsure if she crossed a line. 

“Thank you.” I mumble under my breath, keeping my eyes trained on the floor in front of me.

“I’ll enjoy telling it too.” I turn to face her, the smile on her face is sincere. I’m still biting harshly on my lip when her thumb comes up to my face, tugging it slightly to release it from the hold. Her hand drifts to cup the side of my face, and I lean into her touch, closing my eyes as her thumb traces back and forth over my cheek bone. A knock on the door sounds and my eyes open reluctantly. Tolya’s voice drifts through the door. 

“Time for rations.” He grunts, and I hear his footsteps walk away. 

“He did that on purpose.” Tamar mutters, but stands up and offers me a hand. I laugh taking her hand, standing and tugging her towards me. I let my hand come up to cup her cheek, and lean up to press a gentle and quick kiss on her lips. I dart around her, slipping out the door before she can react. I hear her curse under her breath and by the time she’s out the door I'm halfway up the ladder. I turn over my shoulder to wink, and she rolls her eyes. “Later.” She mouths, and I bite my lip again, climbing up as quickly as I can before I give into the urge to shove her back in her room. Rations are essential after all. 

how to spend an hour

Ship: Tamar x f!Reader

Word count: ~300

Warnings: Implied sexual content, cursing

Summary: Y/n and Tamar have an hour to kill.

A/N: Sorry it's been a bit since I've posted! I promise I'm working on requests & a lot should be coming out this weekend! I'm working on a few longer things as well, would anyone be interested in that? Anyways here's a short little imagine that made my heart happy to write.

Tamar and y/n had just finished a mission, covered in a week's worth of sweat, dirt, and Saint’s knows what else. 

“How long do you think we’ve got before we need to be at the War room?” Y/n asked, shoving the door to their quarters in the Grand Palace open, leading the way in. 

“I’d say an hour.” Tamar replied. 

“I can think of some ways to spend an hour.” She turned her head over her shoulder, winking at her. They’d scarcely had a minute alone the entire time - which makes sense considering some newer people were around, and the “need for professionalism.” And to ‘lead by example.’ Like Nikolai hadn’t fucked Zoya loud enough for the entire Palace to hear. 

She let out a small, embarrassing squeal as Tamar yanked her back, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer, their chests pressed flush together. “Tell me more.” She demanded

She tilted her head to meet her gaze. “We can play cards, read a book, memorize some poetry …” Her eyes traced up her body slowly, her fingers ghosting along her jawline. She watched as Tamar leaned into her touch, eyes slowly closing. She pulled her fingers away quickly and wrinkled her nose. “Or you can take a bath. You stink.” 

She growled but tugged her over to the bathroom with her, the tub big enough to fit two people. Y/n laughed and followed her, quickly filling and heating the tub. Being a tidemaker is more useful than most people think. 

True to her word, they arrived in the War Room after an hour - both looking satisfied enough to earn a raised eyebrow from Zoya, and a knowing smirk from Genya. Thankfully Tamar was composed enough to give a report, y/n adding in a few details here and there. 

omg i just discovered your blog and i’m in love 🥹 i instantly fell in love with tamar and i wish there were more fics about her out there (and tolya too, perks of being bi)

if you’re still taking requests, could you please write about reader possibly being a lantsov and grisha at the same time? maybe she’s super close with nikolai and tamar is like her sworn protector? idk, something with some angst (like reader getting hurt during an attack or something) but all ends well? i mean she’s the princess of ravka, she better survive 😅

thank you so much, and please, keep writing, i love your fics! 💙

I made a promise

Tamar x f!GrishaLantsovReader

A/N: Sorry this took me so long, I loved writing this thank you! I made this so it should hopefully fit with both the books and the tv show, and I'm still taking requests please send them :)

Warnings: Injury 

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: “She’s a handful.” He warned her.

“How bad could-” 

“Don’t say it.” He interrupted her, and she laughed. “You mean it, if she comes with us, you’ll swear to protect her?” 

“Yes.” Tamar looked a bit exasperated. “I will,”  

-

Y/n was the first Lantsov Grisha in a long time – but she was convinced by her mother to keep her powers a secret – and her heritage. Two bastards? Her mother had been busy. She was two years younger than her brother, and over time they’d bonded over many things, including their suspicious heritage. 

Unfortunately she didn’t gain his silver tongue. Her brashness and attitude got her into trouble at the Little Palace. As soon as she completed her military service, which she’d run away to do, just like her dear brother – they sent her to study in Ketterdam, at her insistence. The well compensated shipping clerk did put up a good effort, but she managed to get the truth out of him. Her brother got an earful when she tracked him down, mostly about how pissed she was he didn’t tell her, or let her go with him, and on and on. The guards that accompanied him were highly amused. Shu twins – she liked them immediately. Especially the girl, Tamar. 

“At least tell me where you’re headed next?” 

He sighed, “Novyi Zem.” 

“Take me with you when you come back?” 

“I’ll think about it.” That was a no. 

She set her best glare on him, “I guess I can’t follow in your footsteps forever. I heard they’re hiring in the barrel…” 

“No.” His voice was sharp. 

“Who are you to tell me what to do? You’re a pirate.” 

“Privateer.” He corrected me. “And that’s different from joining a gang.” 

“Renting out heart-rending services is different than actually joining a gang.” She rolled her eyes. 

“And how do you know they won’t hold you hostage?” 

“I’m good at hiding,” she blew it off. “Everyone thinks I’m in the southern colonies to recover from my ‘illness’.” He nodded, she had a point. “And I wasn’t exactly paraded around like you or Vasily. I’m the obvious bastard. Mother never cared” 

“Careful” he warned, she was treading dangerous ground. He still loved their mother despite everything, and she knew that. But she couldn't care less for them. They’d discarded her at the first possible opportunity, why should she waste energy on them? 

She took a deep breath. “I’m already doing it. There’s no point in trying to stop me now.” 

“Can’t blame me for wanting to protect you.” 

“I was infantry too” was her response. “I can take care of myself.” 

“And if you can’t?” 

“We’ll see just how much father thinks I’m worth.”

-

“She’s very insistent.” Tamar commented later that night. “You might as well let her come.” 

“She’ll be in danger with us.” Nikolai hedged. 

“But there is more danger in Ketterdam.” Tamar countered. “Especially for Grisha.” 

“Will you swear to protect her?” Nikolai said, half-jokingly, rolling his shoulders back and leaning against the railing. They’d set sail in two mornings. 

“I swear it.” Nikolai blinked once. The only sign of his surprise. 

“She’s a handful.” He warned her. 

“How bad could-”

“Don’t say it.” He interrupted her, and she laughed. “You mean it, if she comes with us, you’ll swear to protect her?” 

“Yes.” Tamar looked a bit exasperated. “I will, and I’ll teach her.” 

“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.” His head shook. Y/n’s already quite good with a blade and pistol, but under Tamar’s tutelage, she’ll absolutely shine. If she doesn’t kill her first.

“I like a little challenge now and then.” 

-

Nikolai ended up eating his words. Tamar and Y/n got along incredibly well, and ended up being absolutely lethal together. He made her repeat her story a hundred times before she came within eye-sight of the ship. A stray heart-render Nikolai found. Her Kerch is fluent, so they passed her off as being from Ketterdam. Also speaks Ravkan and Fjerdan. Y/n seemed to understand the seriousness of it.  

“Stray. Like I’m a scruffy dog.” 

“At least you get to keep your name. It’s common enough.”  He’d reasoned. Not her real name, one she’d already made up for herself. He was, but shouldn’t have been, surprised to find his sister had a few fake persona’s ready. 

“A serious question,” he asked her. “How did you track me down?” 

She looked at him like he was the stupidest human alive, and he was transported back to their childhood. 

“Pirates need to swim, Nikolai!” Y/n had jumped in the lake, her boots discarded on the bank. “See.” She waved her arms above her head, treading the water. 

“I’m going to be a privateer.” He scowled, pushing out the small ‘boat’ they’d built together. Random bits of wood they found around the castle. What looked like the top of Y/n’s wooden nightstand, sawed off, and strung together with some ripped up curtains. 

“Same thing.” She huffed. “Get in.” He slowly waded in, glaring at her the entire time. Saints, the water is freezing. Why did he let her convince him to come swim anyways? Spring is barely here.

“Why do I always have to push the boat?”  

“Things were easy back then, weren’t they?” She murmured, as if she’d seen the memory too. Easy. They didn’t know what the word ‘bastard’ meant, or why Y/n’s ‘powers’ were a secret, even from Vasily. Vasily - who didn’t give a shit about them. Never asked after Y/n once in his letters. Thinking about him would put Nikolai in an unnecessary piss poor mood, so he thought about the future instead. What it might look like out on the seas, but with his sister by his side this time. 

-

“Tamar, would you defend me if Nikolai tried to turn me into a broodmare?” 

Zoya spit her tea out across the table, right onto Y/n’s shirt, who jumped, grabbing a cloth napkin to try and soak it up, glaring at the squaller, who only looked at her incredulously. 

“Did she just say that?” Zoya turned to Genya, who looked at the possible broodmare, sucking in her lips to keep from laughing. 

“It’s a genuine concern.” Y/n protested. 

“Saints, Y/n.” Nikolai spoke from the door. “You’ve asked her that every day for the last week, always when I’m in earshot. Is there something you’d like to ask me yourself? You’d make a pisspoor broodmare. For the record.” 

“No,” Y/n leaned her head back, tilting slightly to meet Tamar’s eyes with an easy grin on her face. “I’d rather ask Tamar.” 

Nikolai let out a long-suffering sigh. One he saved especially for her. Zoya had watched the whole interaction closely. Nikolai looked both annoyed and amused. Tamar went along with it, almost like it was a joke between them. Between them. No matter how much she’d poked and prodded, neither would say anything about a possible romantic relationship. 

“I’m sworn to protect her.” Tamar had emphasized. As far as she knew, sworn protectors didn’t need to stand that close. Or glare daggers at any men or women who looked at her a bit too appreciatively. Nikolai didn’t seem to care about it. 

-

Everything happened incredibly fast. One minute, she was on her horse, laughing at a joke Tamar told, the next she’s in her bed with a pounding headache, and pain radiating through every inch of her. Hushed voices spoke in the background, quieting as soon as she groaned. Her mouth was dry, and even opening her eyes felt like too great of a task.

“Can you hear me?” A strained voice sounded, “Y/n?” She can, she can hear them, but she can’t do anything - can’t move, can’t blink, can’t speak. With great effort, she shifts her hand slightly. By a sharp inhale, she can tell the motion is noticed. Saints, why can’t she just open her eyes? Her consciousness flickers out slowly, and she drifts back to sleep, the hushed, strained voice still haunting her. 

-

Tamar could barely sleep, could hardly think beyond how she failed. She failed y/n, failed her promise to Nikolai, and now she’s lying in her bed - deathly injured, and barely awake. Healers have been there around the clock, doing everything they can to keep the princess alive. 

“If you hadn’t gotten her back when you did …” One of them said to her, shaking her head as she walked off. Tamar could’ve throttled the woman. Was that supposed to make her feel better? If anything it made her feel worse. Knowing just how Y/n was, just how close she still is. 

“Any improvement?” Nikolai asked, hands in his pockets, strolling down the hall. To anyone else, he might’ve looked nonchalant, but she could see the tension in his shoulders, the tight lines in his face. 

“Based on how you’re still pacing like a trapped tiger, I’d say no.” The attempted joke fell flat, both of them staring at the other. 

“I don’t blame you.” Nikolai said quietly. 

“That doesn’t matter.” Tamar stared back at the door, at the room she’d been kicked out of an hour ago. I blame myself, went unsaid. He didn’t bother trying to convince her otherwise, knowing it’s futile. 

-

“It’s been a week.” An unfamiliar voice spoke in a hushed tone. 

“I know.” Another said grimly. 

“I didn’t know.” Y/n grumbled, her voice hoarse. A shocked gasp sounded, and if she could she would have rolled her eyes. Saints, people are dramatic. At the moment, opening her eyes felt like the hardest thing she’s ever done, later she might admit she’s a tad dramatic. White ceilings, she squinted against the bright light in the room, hearing the sounds of curtains shutting. “That’s better.” She sighed. 

A warm, calloused hand gripped her gently, “Y/n.” Her voice sounded like a whisper, or maybe a prayer. She turned her head slightly, Tamar. At that moment, she decided that’s her favorite view to wake up to. One she’d like to see for the rest of her days. 

“Hi.” A half laugh half sob emerged from the woman’s throat, a grin fighting its way onto her face. “Don’t look so sad.” She pouted. 

“We need to see her.” An irritating voice grated against her ears. 

“You can see me fine from here.” She snapped. Her throat already feels rough and sore. From a few measly words. 

“Glad to see near death hasn’t dimmed your spirits.” Nikolai.

“So that’s what happened,” she mused. The mattress shifted, and Tamar sat next to her, hand still gripping hers. 

“I have to insist you clear the area.” The same irritating voice sounded, tittering across the room. 

“I have to insist you shut up.” She’s a princess, she can get away with this, right? “And leave.” 

Blood pressure skyrocketed from her left. Good, she’s glad she pissed the woman off. 

“Very well, your highness.” Footsteps padded out of the room, good riddance. 

“She was trying to help.” Tamar chastised, but she could tell she’s pleased. 

“You heal me.” 

She hesitated, but Nikolai snorted. “You heard the princess.” Y/n could sense there was something else Tamar wanted to say. 

“Nikolai leave.” 

“Glad to see you too.” He muttered, but sauntered out of the room. 

“I- I’m sorry.” Tamar said quietly. She looked heartbroken. 

“You have nothing to-”

“No.” She said insistently, “I swore to protect you.” 

“You what?!” 

“I made a promise to protect you, and I failed.” 

“Tamar,” y/n said quietly, “how did I get back to the castle?” 

“I brought you.” 

“What happened to the attackers?” 

“They’re dead.” Her voice hardened. 

“You did protect me. I’d be dead if I was out there alone.” Her hand gripped hers tighter. Y/n managed to raise her arm, with some effort, and kiss the back of her hand. A smile crossed the other woman’s face. “You didn’t fail.” She emphasized, and could tell Tamar didn’t really believe her, but something in her seemed to relax, a bit of tension left her shoulders. Tamar’s thumb ran over the back over her hand, and her heart started pounding and she bit nervously on her bottom lip and decided to bite the bullet, pushing up on her elbows. 

One hand gripped the back of Tamar’s head, pulling her down. A calloused hand gripped her cheek, meeting her halfway.