Timsteph Angst - Tumblr Posts

6 years

“I can’t believe you’re finally leaving,” Stephanie says, bumping her feet against the bed.

“Yeah,” Tim agrees, focused on folding his clothes. “Took awhile to get here though.”

“If only you were leaving next year,” she says wistfully.

That gets his attention. He stops folding, and looks at her.

“Why?” He asks, curiosity peeking through his eyes.

“They say if you’ve been friends for seven years, you’ll stay friends forever,” Steph says, leaning back on the bed. “We’ve only got six.”

She can’t see him anymore, but she knows he’s shaking his head.

“Do you not have faith in our friendship lasting?” Steph thinks she can hear hurt in his voice. She doesn’t know. She tries to pretend that the chasm between the two isn’t growing.

“Maybe.”

Stephanie hears Tim pause. She can picture what he looks like: face almost blank, but with that kicked puppy dog light shining through, head slightly tilted, hair falling in front of his eyes.

She wishes she had the courage to look up at him, because it would be a stunning sight to see, but that’ll address the tightness in her heart and it’s too late for that now. 

“Stephanie?” He asks again, and yup, that’s definitely hurt she hears in his voice.

She stay silent, hoping that maybe he’ll give it up and they can move on to the light topics they were discussing beforehand (she knows he won’t).

Instead, the silence between them grows heavier and heavier and suddenly it’s hard to breathe and Stephanie wants to scream– 

“It’s just,” She starts hesitantly, “You’re going to be so far away.” She watches Tim’s shoulders relax slightly (and hates herself a little more for causing him a moment of worry because Tim doesn’t deserve that he doesn’t deserve that–)

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’ll be weird not even living in the same town as everyone.”

Stephanie says nothing, choosing to watch him silently as he turns back to his backing and almost wishes she said something else. Instead, she just wonders. She wonders about how Tim will be when he gets to his college (he’ll throw himself completely into his work at first, never bothering with socializing. He’ll dedicate himself wholly into his work and never come out unless there’s someone who can drag him out, someone who won’t be her anymore). She wonders if he will be able to make friends (he will. Tim is extremely charismatic once he pokes his head out from work. It’s how she stayed by his side even after her initial curiosity wore off.)

She wonder if he’ll finally get a girlfriend. (He will. Tim has a soft charm to him that make it hard for anyone to look away, has a crooked smile that still made Steph swoon even after years of friendship. He’ll get a beautiful girlfriend easily, one who will hold his hand and go out on dinner dates with him and meet his family and gently cup his face and lean up and kiss his lips–)

Steph suddenly feels sick.

Instead she thinks about the past six ears, the most beautiful six years of her life, the phone calls at 2 a.m. when she would talk and he would groan about sleeping and oh God what if those end please no.

But it’s no use because suddenly she’s thinking too hard and she realizes that soon instead of long talks at night Tim will be hanging up early and laugh with his new girlfriend and his new friends and she will fade slowly out of his life until one day his girlfriend will point at a picture of her and ask who is she? and Tim will laugh and throw his arms around her and say no one important to us dear.

She’ll slowly lose importance in his life and that thought terrifies her.

Please, she begs to whoever is listening. Please don’t take him away from me.