Toxic!reader - Tumblr Posts

A Smile Said Goodbye

Fandom: Bnha / Mha Paring: Bakugo x Reader Rating: 14+ Words: 1k244 Warnings: Strong Language, toxic relationship, references to sex, angst, breakups, manipulation. A/n: Bakugou and Y/n were together, even when they probably shouldn’t be-- and they both knew it.

      The streets of Shinjuku had a special place in Y/n’s heart. Having grown up in a nice apartment near the heart of the city, Shinjuku itself became a close friend. Night time had already fallen when she found her seat at her favorite out-door seating cafe on one of the busier streets. The neon lights lit up the sky, mixed with the fog that came with a bustling city. 

She sipped on her americano, taking great pains to make it last. She wasn’t sure how long it would be before she could come to this place again. 

“I’m here,” 

He placed a kiss on her temple and sat across from her, presenting a bouquet of roses on the table, and instinctively placing his hand on top of hers. She withdrew from under him and brought her hands to her lap- “We need to talk.”

“What’s the matter? Why do we need to talk here of all places?” He scrunched up his noes at the loud strangers walking around them and the trafic not far away. 

Y/n didn’t tell him that her childhood home was nearby, and that she planed on spending the night in her childhood room. That was hardly how she wanted this conversation to go.

Y/n had learned from past trials and errors. She knew not to try at his home, where he had complete control and could tempt her into bed and make her stay until months later when her courage came back. 

As easy as it was to fall back into their routine, Y/n knew she needed change. He needed it too- they both needed to get out of this relationship. 

“Bakugo,” his eyes snapped to hers at the formal address. The inner parts of her eyebrows rose in misery, “Kastuki..”

His mouth went dry and he froze- knowing exactly what was happening. “No,” he shook his head, “Whatever it was we can fix it. We can do it together.” He looked at Y/n and saw her for the first time in a while. Her shoulders were drawn forward- her chin tilted down. She looked so small, like she was trying to disappear. Did he ho that?

“There’s nothing we can fix, Katsu.” She looked in his eyes and saw her fragile 16 year old boyfriend, not her 27 year old partner. He searched her face for something, for anything.

Y/n had used her quirk on him the moment their eyes met. He searched and searched her face for a sign, just a hint that she saw something in them worth salvaging- something in him worth saving.

And, though tears were coming down her face and her heart was breaking, Bakugo saw nothing but a passive and heartless girl. “We were supposed to have everything,” angry tears boiled in his eyes, “we were supposed to be forever and what- you’re just throwing that away?”

Y/n’s lip quivered, but she managed to hold in the whimper. “We’re not made for that and you know it,” she looked at him in semi-disbelief, “You must know that.”

He shook his head violently, glaring at her- “I’m trying so hard Y/n! Please just, just see that I’m doing my fucking best! Cut me some slack because I-” his voice cut off and grew much softer, “I’m nothing without you.”

Y/n winced. “That’s why we can’t continue, Katsu-” she shook her head to remember her resolution- “when we’re together we depended on one another. I’m not me, you’re not you. And, when we try to be ourselves,” she whimpered at the memories, “we hurt each other.”

Bakugo was beyond embarrassed he was the only one crying- but him pride meant nothing when he was faced with the end of everything. He remembered exactly what she was talking about. All the fights, the compromises, the anger, the pain, the tears, all of it-- but wasn’t that just a testament to how strong their relationship is? “No, no you’re wrong.” He spoke loudly so the bustling street wouldn’t drown out his voice as much as his doubt drowned out his thoughts, “We’re meant to be together. Hell- we’re practically soulmates.”

“You did nothing wrong, Bakugo.”

His attention snapped back to her face- still clean of any emotion.

“You loved me so much, you were such a good boyfriend-”

“Then let me stay.”

Y/n could feel his desperation, feel the pain in his voice. It made her shutter, but she knew it was for the best. She could see it, see him with a nice girl who complimented him-- someone who never made him cry or breakdown. Someone good for him.

So, she shook her head. “You need to find someone else, Katuski.”

He protested, declaring his love for her. “You’re the only one for me, the only girl I want in my life. Nothing else, no one else.” He fixed his posture and looked composed, “We can do this. We can fix this.”

She bit harshly on her tongue. “I’m already gone, Katsuki.” 

He started- “What,” his voice cracked startled by the small smile that pulled on her lips like a guilty secret, “What do you mean?”

“Move on.” 

She disappeared and hopped out of her seat before he knew what had happened.

“Damnit!” He screamed, waving his arms around in hopes of touching her. He wasn’t sure how long ago she’d charmed his eyes, made him see things that weren’t as they were. How many things had happened while his eyes lied?

“Damnit, damnit, dammit!” Tears flowed down his face, making him scream from the pain and nausea as the nitroglycerin from the tears hit his eyes. “Don’t go!” He fell to his knees, punching the pavement. 

I’m so sorry, she wanted to say, but Y/n knew a single noise that didn’t comply with her forced delusion would break the illusion she constructed,  I’m so sorry, my love, my treasure, my soul’s mirror- my Katsu.

Y/n’s remaining family in Shinjuku didn’t question why she had an impromptu night at their house, nor did they address the sobbing from her room. They said nothing and asked no questions. Though some chalked it up as pro hero on the top ten list stress, a few recognized the look of heartbreak when they saw it.

She curled into a ball on her childhood bed, pink sheets tangled between her limbs as she starred emptily out the window towards the neon lights radiating from the streets. 

Goodbye Katsuki, a tear rolled from her left eye, across the ridge of her noes, and into her right, please understand. Please forgive me.

Y/n woke up in the morning, eyes swollen and cheeks flushed. She silently ate the breakfast prepared at the table. Breaking up with someone you still love is one of the most painful things she’d ever done, but she knew it was the only way. Y/n felt bad about many things, but she hoped, in time, she’d forgive herself for this. Forgive herself for wanting more than perpetual heartbreak and heartbreaking. She wanted better for herself, but really she wanted better for him. 

He deserved someone who never made him question his worth, someone who made him see things to love about himself, not someone who made him want to change into something he wasn’t. He needed someone who made him strong, not someone who crippled him. He needed an equal in love. She takes a sip of her too strong coffee, I just wish it could have been me.