Tumblr Sexymen - Tumblr Posts
I think I’ve cracked the tumblr sexyman formula you guys. All of the tumblr sexymen have these three things in common:
1.) A suit
2.) A blue and orange morality, either that, or straight up evil
3.) A tall, spindly build, and if he has any muscle, it’s lean muscle, not a six pack
Am I wrong?
They also want to fuck skeleton men and evil pyramids. Tumblr has a pretty eclectic definition of sexy, and it appears that the characters don’t even have to be human men
So Vox is now officially a tumblr sexyman. Can’t say I’m surprised, tbh
Hot take: If tumblr sexymen had been a thing in the 2000s, Dr Facilier would have been one
do you think bill cipher and the onceler ever had a situationship
Well he IS the gay ass room but you get the idea
Dose anyone else see the resemblance
so.
there's a shitpost trend going around on twitter.
I'll take...
a knife to the brain.
I will not subject myself to this torture.
so hey, tumblr, what table?
FLUGSWEEP
We can all agree Black Hat is a shoe in for tumblr sexy man, he’s got it all big scary monster, edgy, wearing a top hat and suit, evil.
But. I think it would be really funny if Flug surpassed him
he’s got the makings for a good tumblr sexy man which is to say he has something Black Hat doesn’t and can’t have.
Being pathetic
He’s a scaredy-cat, germaphobe, huge nerd, and is generally kinda Pathetic, when compared to Dementia and Black Hat.
He gets to be cool sometimes sure
But that just makes him more tumblr sexyman fodder. Sans was cool for one fight scene and one ominous dinner, the rest of the game he’s a weird little guy.
Basically this is just my prediction that the already fan favorite loser guy is gunna be the sexyman
Mothman, the true tumblr sexyman
queen lizzie dropped dead on the day the tumblr sexyman poll came to an end with sans pulling just ahead of reigen
I have taken it upon myself to do a Tumblr sexyman smash or pass, no I am not tagging all these characters because that would be impossible and I’m not familiar with some of them
forever will be thinking about this
secretary- onceler x reader
Summary: Call after call, email after email, organizing after organizing. You only had one thing on your mind- and that was your boss. How many times have you read the same email? How many times have you gotten the same complaint of the forest being cut down? You couldn’t remember. There was only one thing on your mind: him.
ⁿᵒᵗᵉˢ﹕ ʰⁱʸᵃ ⁱᵐ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃⁿᶠⁱᶜ, ʷʰⁱᶜʰ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ ⁱˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿᶜᵉˡᵉʳ... ˢᵒʳʳʸ ⁿᵒᵗ ˢᵒʳʳʸ. ᵐʸ ²⁰²⁰ ˢᵉˡᶠ ʷᵃˢ ᵒᵇˢᵉˢˢᵉᵈ ʷⁱᵗʰ ʰⁱᵐ, ˢᵒ ⁱᵐ ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵐʸ ²⁰²⁰ ˢᵉˡᶠ ʸᵉᵃʳⁿᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ. ⁱ ᵈᵒ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ʰⁱˢᵒᵏᵃ ᶠᵃⁿᶠⁱᶜ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ʷʳⁱᵗᵗᵉⁿ, ʷʰⁱᶜʰ ⁱ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵗᵒᵐᵒʳʳᵒʷ ᵒʳ ˢᵃᵗᵘʳᵈᵃʸ, ˢᵒ ⁱᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿᶜᵉˡᵉʳ ⁱˢⁿᵗ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ, ᶜˡᵒʷⁿ ᵈᵃᵈᵈʸ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ ᵛᵉʳʸ ˢᵒᵒⁿ. :’)
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Clack click clack
As you type, you are reminded that you're working for the largest corporation in the world.
It's nice to be reminded because every time you are, the oh so nice image of your boss pops into your head. All those nights where you were skin to skin, hand holding hand, hair tussled, and the lights dimmed. Where he wasn't your boss and you weren't just his secretary.
Call after call, email after email, organizing after organizing. You couldn't wait to leave the office and waltz down into his office, waiting for the clock to hit the desired time.
God, you really are such a bad employee, sinful even. You don't really care about your job, you never did. You knew what you were doing when you wanted an interview.
It wasn't like he was any better. Ruining the world, turning a beautiful land full of colorful fluffy trees into a no man's land full of smoke, oil, and no life.
Your heart ached for the wildlife, it really did. But what could you do, honestly? Convince him to stop? Tell him what he's doing is wrong? No chance. Good dick is good dick, and you only had one objective at this moment. Maybe one day you would have enough courage to tell him to stop- not like he would listen, though.
----
Brushing your finger tips over the wooden walls makes your body tingle in anticipation. The green wallpaper obscures your vision, making it clear who you're headed for. Your heels click on the flooring, echoing throughout the wide and long hallway. The high ceilings only add on to the ambiance, making the factory corridors seem huge and empty. The passionate
orangery red sunset mixed with a tint of magenta comes through
the many factory windows.
Looking out of all the picture windows, you can see all the truffula in carts, going straight into the factory to be made into thneed. The stumps go on for miles, making you frown. Truffula trees really were so beautiful. Watching the animals search for food and comfort has your throat develop a lump. Holding back your tears and pity, you continue back to the mission at hand, making your way to his office.
Rounding the "Too Big to Fail" poster, the sadness evaporates out of your body, and excitement replaces it. Though, you dramatically gag at the poster, it never did him justice. Your sensory’s heighten at hearing all the sale numbers above the poster rise. The red lamps shade your porcelain skin, scarlet fogs your eyes sight.
Wounding up to his office, you see two capped men shielding the two big velvet doors. You wave at them with a teeth-y smile, with them sending glares
back at you. You pull out a VIP lanyard that your boss personally gifted to you.
You hold the card in their faces, "I have a meeting with Mr.Onceler." you say smiling. They move out of the way in unison, thankfully saying nothing. Only the most important of people get
access to his office, after all.
Your hands grip the two handles after gently brushing them over the doors, feeling the soft silk that gives you the chills. Spreading the doors as wide as possible, for dramatic effect, of course, you see a tall man slouching over a model of a town, carefully nitpicking the design.
The chair he's perched on has to be over 10 feet tall, the top curling over the lanky man, making him seem small by comparison. He looked relaxed- ready to go home for the day. His tie was loose, his collars were undone, and his hair messy underneath his top hat.
He looks up at you, his long hat almost falling off his head from the speed. He puts his hands together, in a sort of way that makes him look like he’s about to pray, with a muffled clap.
He gives you a soft smile, his baby blue eyes light up with so many different emotions all at once. The rose tint on his cheeks contrasted so perfectly with his eyes, making your stomach flutter.
"Good evening, Y/N! I was expecting for you to show up some time soon.” he giggles.
"You know me so well, Mr. Onceler.” you say, whilst closing the doors.
Watching The Onceler passionately view his mini town has you shuffling your legs closer together, your thighs squeezing against each other. It reminds you why you fell head over heals for him in the first place.
"You could definitely say that." The Onceler taps his table gently as an invite. "Come, sit!"
You nod and gingerly take a seat in front of his desk. The onceler starts to remove his clover green gloves, that you always thought fit his demeanor so well. "How was the office today?"
"It was as good as always.. I had something to look forward to." you speak, undressing him with your gaze.
"Is that so?" you nod, "I could say the same to you."
You giggle while he moves his miniature town to the side, carefully.
Watching him crawl over the table has your head spinning. Holding your head in his hands, he cradles your face. Closing your eyes, you break the distance, slowly molding your lips into one.
You always wondered how you got so lucky- being able to live in such a taboo fantasy world. The idea of having a forbidden relationship lits a bigger fire in your abdomen. After all,
you've always been his favorite secretary.
* I can’t believe I’m apart of history now
a drawing that i left for months, and so that it doesn't get abandoned, here it is LOL mmm yeah the holy family (there are more missing in the photo but well yk, ill do them later(￢∀￢))
POV: Sans explains his evil plan to become the ultimate tumblr sexyman after he murked the queen
-"Aww.. Everybody's cheating! Next time I'LL Cheat!" 🌹💜
yet another late artwork ahah,, i simp for this man.. 👉👈 this started of as lazy sketching but then i wanted to finish it LMAO, guess this is a follow up to my Wario artwork i did last year, cuz whats a Wario without a Waluigi? IM HAPPY WITH HOW HE TURNED OUT HEHE
(might post the speed draw later,,, ;))
YES ANYWAY i drew Waluigi!! 💜
WAH!