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Squeeze My Hand (Three Times)

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Fluff-uary Prompt - Hand Holding
Prompt - ‘The world doesn't feel quite so bad with your hand entwined with mine.’
The sun beat down uncomfortably as you made your way back up to The Sanctuary. All day it felt like you had been running back and forth, constantly being told you were needed here and there, do this, do that. You were just about ready to fall asleep where you stood, sweat clung to your skin making your skin crawl and you almost groaned in relief as you entered the main room, it was warm but still cooler than it was outside.
You walked through The Sanctuary, easily making your way around and desperately trying to stay as small as possible, moving as close to the walls as you could so that nobody called you for another favour.
It wasn’t long before you found an empty balcony, sitting down and letting your legs dangle over the edge as you rested your face on the railing, looking out onto the walker infested yard. Despite the heat from the sun you were thankful for the moment to yourself. You didn’t mind helping around, hell you were happy to aid in any way you could, but some days the reality of this new world seemed to weigh you down.
You were glad you’d found Negan all those years ago, damn lucky he’d found you. You remembered back then when you had been so frightened, so scared, so alone. By the time you had crossed paths with Negan you had just about given up fighting, not seeing the point in it anymore. If this was what the world was now how could you survive?
Negan had found you, near starved and dehydrated. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d come across another person, yet alone been with a group with supplies. Walkers had surrounded you and despite the fear of what was to come you did little to fight them off. Negan had watched from the sideline for a moment, then two, waiting for you to make a move, waiting for you to fight them but quickly realised you had accepted your fate.
He made quick work of killing the walkers, drawing their attention to him and using his bat to make sure they stayed dead this time, it was a brutal scene but then he had crouched down in front of you, eyes soft as he gave you a reassuring smile before pulling out a bottle of water and handing it over to you.
You hadn’t wanted to go with him at first, not used to people anymore, not sure what his motives were. Everybody had an agenda these days, if they took you in they wanted something and usually it wasn’t good. Negan though had been upfront with you, taking a seat next to you when he realised you weren’t moving and drawing his knees up as he turned his head in your direction. Then he had started talking. He spoke about wanting to build something out of this mess, wanting to build a safe place, a sanctuary.
You listened to his words, much as you hated it a spark of hope ignited in you as you did, wanting to believe that something could be built from this mess. You wanted to believe that there was still a chance for the world.
Eventually you agreed to go with him, agreed to help however you could. From there on you were always by his side, feeling emotions that had long faded as your fight slowly came back.
Negan watched it happen, watched as you smiled more, laughed more, the passion you spoke with now was such a drastic change from the person he had met all that time ago, ready to surrender to the new world. It wasn’t a shock to him when he found himself falling for you, he didn’t even try and deny the feeling to himself, knowing it was futile.
Over time the two of you grew close, a bond that neither of you had felt with another person before. That’s not to say Negan’s love for Lucille ever faded but the apocalypse had a way of creating a different kind of bond, one not a single person had felt before the world went to shit.
It started slow between you and Negan, both of you admitting your feelings to yourselves but not daring to say it to the other. It was easy to skip around as the two of you were in the process of building up The Sanctuary, coming across a building and clearing it out. It was the perfect place, and you were honestly surprised to find nobody had tried to take it over before.
Eventually though you and Negan got settled into this new life, the walls of The Sanctuary felt safer than any place you had ever called home before, whether it was because of the walls keeping the walkers out or because Negan was a constant presence there you wouldn’t say but at some point the two of you realised that you couldn't ignore it anymore.
The constant flirting, the glances when the other wasn’t looking, the need to say how you felt, the desire to be close to each other all the time. There was nobody you trusted more than Negan, even as people were brought into The Sanctuary and trusted by Negan, forming his inner circle, you trusted Negan above anyone else.
Of course just because the two of you knew your feelings that didn’t mean you could just come right out and say it. It took him nearly losing you before he confessed anything. It took what should have just been a simple supply run and ended with you barely avoiding being bit and Negan pushing away a new recruit in order to slam his bat down on the walker's head.
He immediately turned to you, pale faced and worry clear in his eyes. You watched, panting for breath, as he looked you up and down before he wrapped his arms tightly around you causing you to let out a breathy laugh before mirroring him. It was a while before he pulled away, only pulling far enough back so he could look down at you, his hand coming up as his knuckles ran gently along your cheek.
“Don’t you ever do that again.” He warned you, causing you to smile up at him.
And that smile was enough for him, that damn smile that could turn his mood around instantly, that smile that he would never say no to and never failed to calm him down. That was enough for him to lean down and press his lips to yours in a soft but desperate kiss, the kiss conveying his fear of almost losing you, his absolute love for you, his need for you to always be by his side.
You kissed back with the same force, hand resting on his chest as you did, feeling so happy as you finally knew what Negan’s lips felt like against yours. Now that you knew you never wanted to stop learning the feeling of them on yours.
When the two of you pulled away Negan rested his forehead against yours softly smiling down at you.
“You don’t leave my side.” He said, fear slowly creeping away as he held you close.
“Never.” You promised, intending to keep it.
You heard the door behind you open and barely resisted the urge to sigh as you let your eyes fall closed waiting for the next request to come. When nothing came you opened your eyes and looked up, squinting against the light from the sun, and smiled tiredly as you watched Negan take a seat next to you.
“Been looking all over for you, darlin’.” He told you as he let his legs hang over the edge of the balcony, looking from the yard over to you.
“Sorry,” You said, voice quiet, “busy day.”
“Huh,” Negan said, raising an eyebrow at you knowing damn well he hadn’t asked you to do anything around The Sanctuary but then again he knew how willing you were to help out when and where you could, “Doing what?”
“A bit of everything, helped on the supply run, then Frank needed help with the walkers, Lee needed help with food then there was an issue with the newbies,” you told him, the tiredness written across your face as you shifted to lean your head against his shoulder.
“Why the hell are they getting you to do it? Ain’t like there aren't enough people to do that shit, making my girl run around all day long.” Negan grumbled, turning his head slightly to press a lingering kiss to your head.
“You know I don’t mind.” You told him, moving your hand over to his and linking your pinkie fingers together before shifting and letting your hand slip into his, watching as his larger one covered yours, thumb brushing gently across the front of your hand.
You couldn’t help but smile down at your entwined hands, feeling yourself relax with each brush of Negan’s thumb. It was nice to have a moment alone with the man who was usually so busy making sure everything was running smoothly, nobody interrupting constantly.
Just you and him, together.
You tilted your head to look up at him before leaning up slightly to connect your lips. The kiss was slow and lazy, you feeling the last bit of energy draining from you as you relaxed in Negan’s presence.
Negan was the first to pull away, smiling down at you softly as he watched the way you struggled to pry your eyes open.
“Come on, baby girl,” He said, standing up and pulling you up with him, not letting go of your hand “Let’s get you to bed.”
You didn’t argue with him, couldn’t if you wanted to, just let him lead you through The Sanctuary, him glaring at anyone who dared to make a move in your direction. As you were being pulled along you squeezed Negan’s hand in yours three times, a long-standing tradition between the two of you, one squeeze meant focus on me, it was mainly used when Negan’s temper began to slip and he needed a something to focus on, two squeeze was a discrete signal that something was wrong, and three squeezes meant ‘I love you’.
You watched as Negan looked down at your hands before his gaze shifted up to you, a smile on his face that was always reserved for you and only you. His eyes softened as he squeezed your hand back.
No words were spoken as he gently pushed you down onto the bed, pulling the blanket around you causing you to smile up at him through half closed eyes. Negan allowed himself one more minute to sit with you, gently resting on the bed next to you as he brushed a stray piece of hair out of your face, watching as you sleepily leaned into the touch.
“Stay,” You mumbled, reaching your hand up to thread your fingers together again.
And who was Negan to deny that request?
He nodded at you, lifting the blanket up so he could slide into bed next to you, pulling you into his arms. You happily rested your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart a comforting sound to lull you to sleep.
“I love you,” You heard him whisper, placing a soft kiss on your head.
“Love you too,” You whispered, bringing his knuckles up to your lips and planting a kiss to them before you fell asleep in Negan’s hold.
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