Umpe - Tumblr Posts
happy 76th!
today's her day. i wish i can be with her to celebrate it. too bad im like a million miles away =/ but at least i got to talk to her on the phone tho it's just for a couple of minutes. i got to hear her voice again. it was heartbreaking but that's the only way i can great her. i never realized it's gonna be the third year since she celebrated her birthday without me. if only i can fly to where she is right now... i would do anything just to be with her.
i haven't told her how much thankful i am to her. how much i missed her. how much i loved her. how much i appreciate all her sacrifices and unconditional love and care she gave me. and most especially, how much guilty i am for leaving her 'alone'... i hope she's doing okay right now. i hope she'll get to be happy and blessed today. i wish her good health. that's all i am asking for coz i still wanna spend more time with her. i wanna give her back all the love and care she gave me when i was growing up. i wanna be her strength. i wanna make her laugh. i wanna work hard for her. i wanna let her rest and live a stress-free life. she's been working hard all her life. i don't even remember when was her last vacation. it's really awful that i can't do anything for her. i don't want her to feel i abandoned her. that i forgot everything. i am really sorry. i am still hoping that one day we'll see each other again. i will give her a better life. a life where she doesn't have to work all day and be stressed. i will spend more time with her just relaxing and laughing.
i love you UMPE, i really do.... thank you for everything. more birthdays to come! God bless you. always take care and i miss you a lot!
happy happy birthday to the most important person in my life coz she's my most beloved UMPE! i miss her so much...
11-11-11: that special moment i had with my Umpe
I got to talk again to the most important person in my life. I missed her a lot and how i wish i can hug her and tell her how much i love her. But i don't want to worry her abt me so yeah we just talked about how life here is and how she's doing back home. Whenever i talk to her i tend to worry about her alot and how she is coping back there without me by her side... It breaks my heart to know that i had been selfish to her when i made the decision to leave her alone back home. I feel so guilty & I really regret it especially whenever i hear her cry or even her sad & weak voice or like when news that she got sick... It feels like it is my responsibility to take good care of her yet i can't do anything. I feel so helpless and worthless whenever that happens. It makes me want to run into her arms as fast as i can and ask for her forgiveness... And do anything to compensate for all the times i was not able to spend with her. Oh how i missed hearing her voice and being by her side all the time. I missed how she takes good care of me... how she prepares my meal... how she would give me allowance and extra money to buy whatever i want... how she attends to me whenever i am sick... how she would ask me if i already ate lunch or dinner... how she would worry about me whenever i go to vacations... how she lets me do everything that i wanted to do even if that means she will need to do extra work... how she treats me so well even if i sometimes shout at her or give her attitude... how she'll tell everyone how proud she is of me and how good i am... how she would shower me with lots of care, understanding, praises and love. I miss everything about her! And now that her birthday is coming up, i can only wish her good health and long life. Well that has always been my wish for her. I remember i would always pray to God that hopefully one day we will be spending our days together again. Just like the good old times. It's just sad that it has been four years since the last time we've seen each other. How i wish i can surprise her in her 77th bday this coming november 17th. *sigh* I know she knows i love her a lot. And hopefully, as she grows older, she won't forget our memories together, both good and not so good memories we had. I hope the distance between us will not be the reason for her to forget me, her favorite granddaughter. I love my Umpe so much and my love and gratitude for her will never fade nor be forgotten and taken for granted just by anyone. This special relationship and love we have for each other can't compare to anything. Only the two of us can understand its true and deep meaning... I am really thankful to God for giving her to me and making me a part of her life. I feel so blessed to be loved by Umpe. I don't know how am i going to be able to give back for the kindness and love she gave me. I can only think of spending my whole life with her, loving her, providing her whatever she needs, giving her everything she wants and working harder so she can be more proud of me :) Umpe, thank you for everything and i love you so much.
Day 28 of this battle: My letter for Umpe tonight, i wrote a short letter for Umpe. i tried putting humor coz i don't want her tocry while reading it. i tried to put everything i wanted to tell her but also tried not to make her worried and lonely. i hope through this short letter, i can make her happy and ease her pain. i hope my message for her will make her feel how much i wanted to be with her right now... I love you, Umpe! Always and forever. I miss you a lot too. I hope you'll feel better asap and you'll win over this battle...