it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
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Day 28 Of This Battle: My Letter For Umpe Tonight, I Wrote A Short Letter For Umpe. I Tried Putting Humor
Day 28 of this battle: My letter for Umpe tonight, i wrote a short letter for Umpe. i tried putting humor coz i don't want her tocry while reading it. i tried to put everything i wanted to tell her but also tried not to make her worried and lonely. i hope through this short letter, i can make her happy and ease her pain. i hope my message for her will make her feel how much i wanted to be with her right now... I love you, Umpe! Always and forever. I miss you a lot too. I hope you'll feel better asap and you'll win over this battle...
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Please make a miracle happen.
Dear God, Please make a miracle happen. Today is my Umpe's ct scan. Please please let there be a miracle and make the lumps and cancer cells disappear. Please make my Umpe healthy and strong. Please help her ease her pains. I am asking for a miracle to happen because i believe she deserves to live longer and happier. We still have a lot of things to do together. Please dearest God heal my Umpe. Heal her sickness and make her healthy again. Amen.
minsan sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko na strong akong tao at malalampasan ko ito. kaya lang minsan di na umeepekto eh. ganun ata talaga.
walang taong strong pag dating sa taong pinakakamahal mo lalo na kung siya ang mundo mo and he/she means everything to you.
Day 14 of this battle: i wish i am there by your side and let you know that i am back and i will stay with you until we overcome this battle. Be strong! My first day of spring semester. i don't know if i can describe it as a beautiful morning for me after reading some bad news... It sucks that i have to smile and laugh yhroug out the day when i know she is suffering from her pains. Why am i always selfish? Why can't i be sensitive? Before i go to bed every night since i learned her condition, i would always pray to God and ask him to give me her pains & make her health improve. Until now, I blame myself for what she's experiencing now. It is all my fault. I became too self-centered, unapppreciative, and insensitive. I lived my life running hurriedly to the future but i also forgot the most special person in my life who loves me the most. I regret it. I really do. And if i can turn back the time, i would definitely work harder for her. She means the world to me and i am sorry that i can't do anything for her. I love her so dearly but we all know that this thing i call 'love' is useless in times like this. I know things are getting serious each day. As much as i want to deny this, but i already had times where i want to give up everything just because i have no chance left. I am just wasting my time instead of doing something for her. I kept on blaming myself and everyone else. I kept whining. I can't even make proper decisions or think straight. I can only cry to myself coz no one can understand how i am hurting right now. I dont even have someone to talk to and share my thoughts on what is happening right now. It is not yet there but i already feel so ALONE. If i can only give up my life for her just to lengthen her life, i definitely will do it. I already hate waking up every morning for i don't know anymore the reason why i am still here. Can i just be by her side coz i really want to make her feel that i am back? Though i never forgot everything about her, i want her to feel that i am back again and we are together til the end just like how we pictured ourselves when i was young. I want to hug her and kiss her and tell her that i love her so much. I want to thank her and care for her just like how she did for me before. I want to tell her that we are together in this battle and i will stay with her until we overcome this. I want all of this to be possible but how?? I don't even have the chance from the start. I lack of everything. I am useless. I want to make more beautiful memories with her. I still want to watch the sun rise with her, enjoy the beauty of the world with her and simply be by her side... All i want is another chance to be with her and make her happy coz she deserves to be happy.
Hahahaha i'm crying while sitting on one of the benches in the hallway...
I bet the people sitting across me are already giving me weird looks... I wanna go home right now and hug my pillow or go to sleep. I am so worn out already but i still have a class later. Jeez what kind of life do i have?!