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Is Your Theatre Friend Okay?

How to Tell if Your Theatre Person is Okay 

(based on the musical they’re listening to on repeat)

From Least to Most Concerning:

Tuck Everlasting: Probably fine. Your friend might be yearning, though.

Heathers: Probably just routine ennui or angst, but if they’re only listening to “I Am Damaged,” “Lifeboat,” and/or “Kindergarten Boyfriend,” then they’re going through it.

Beetlejuice: If they’re only listening to “Dead Mom” on repeat, then you might want to worry. This is an “I am misunderstood” musical.

Waitress: Typically a chill one, but might be nostalgic and/or feeling stuck. Worth asking if they want to talk about it.

Dear Evan Hansen: Also in the safe zone, but if you hear too much of “Words Fail,” their self esteem is probably in the gutter.

Into the Woods: They’re either genuinely fine and just enjoying Sondheim, or actively having an existential crisis. Very little in between.

Cabaret: They’re either having a fresh and sexy time listening to Alan Cumming sing “Willkommen,” or you need to ask them if they’re all right.

Fun Home: Is your friend a tortured theatre gay? Because this is a tortured theatre gay musical. Just FYI.

Next to Normal: If Next To Normal is on repeat, like honestly on repeat, you might have cause for concern. This is a very high caliber depression musical.

Les Miserables: Your friend is wallowing. They’re probably crying about Gavroche because it’s easier to cry about French revolutionaries than process whatever they’re actually going through.

Spring Awakening: Please worry if someone you know is listening to any part of Spring Awakening on repeat. This is a peak depression musical.