Witcher Alternate Universe - Tumblr Posts

Prompt 11

There's a forest near Redania that is lush with color and flora. Every time Geralt camps there, he gets the best sleep of his life. There's always plenty of game for when he's hungry, and the birds follow after him, singing him songs. Every time he comes back, more and more odd qualities of the forest show. Most recently, flowers spawn wherever he or Roach steps. Roach finds this amazing (and very tasty), Geralt meanwhile is starting to find this suspicious. He's begun to hear a song in the breeze, and that's when he kicks roach into high gear and gets the hell out of there. But no matter how far he travels, in the back of his head, he can still hear the sad song, sung from a shaky voice. Eventually, he finds himself along the trail of the forest, and decides to risk it. The voice swaps immediately to a happy tune, and Geralt is being showered with deer and rabbits who are suspiciously suddenly always just near his camp, fish literally jumping out of the river toward him, birds flying after him to drop flowers on him. He decides that whatever is controlling the forest must be harmless, and even wishes it well as he rides off, only to hear the sad song start again as he leaves. He assures the forest he'll return again, and the song lightens to a cheery jig once more. When a monster known for spreading rot wherever it goes suddenly appears in Jaskier's forest, Jaskier knows his only chance is to sing his witcher back (and perhaps convince him to bring Jaskier with him next time.)

Prompt 34

Jaskier is a succubus/incubus (Cause some sources say it's based on the entity's gender, and some say the name is based on the gender of the people they have sex with, so if he's a succubus or if he's an incubus is up to you, darling <3) Jaskier hasn't told Geralt of this, of course. He'd rather not add another thing to Geralt's seemingly endless list of things he hates about Jaskier. Jaskier jumps from bed to bed in towns, because he physically feeds on the passion of his little midnight trysts he has with lonely unsatisfied women in town. He'd go for men too, but doesn't need more mobs chasing him out of town and annoying Geralt. Geralt finally snaps at him one night, fed up with getting chased out of three fucking towns in a row. And the worst part isn't even the fact they keep getting thrown out. It's when Jaskier comes to him, ruffled, kiss-bruised, and reeking of sex he had with someone else. Jaskier, scared of Geralt leaving him behind, promises that he'll volunteer to have a dry-spell. No more cuckolding husbands for Jaskier, no sirree! However, being a succubus/incubus means that the longer he goes without some passion, the more weak he gets, and he starts to fall ill. Geralt grows increasingly worried. One night at camp, Geralt kisses Jaskier's forehead when Jaskier is asleep and he watches as color visibly returns to Jaskier's face, and Geralt's medallion hums. Geralt is now suspicious Jaskier has been cursed. Jaskier returns to looking peaky by the next morning. That is, until Geralt drags him into a hug on a hunch, and sure enough, Jaskier looks better. The more romantic the gesture, the more it seems to help Jaskier. Jaskier finally confesses what he is, bawling and sure that Geralt will banish him at the least and kill him at the most. Geralt is horrified, and hugs his friend close, promising he'd never do either. (BECAUSE THE MOUNTAIN BREAKUP SHOULD'VE NEVER LEFT THE WRITING ROOM) Geralt offers to have sex, wanting Jaskier to be healthy again, but Jaskier doesn't want the only time he gets to sleep with the love of his life to be when Geralt doesn't even love him back. He says as such, and Geralt stumbles his way through confessing that Jaskier's feelings are requited, and Geralt loves him too.

Prompt 53

Ignore how this should've gone up yesterday, I was super fucking tired

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF PRIDE!

(it's not the first any more) Geralt owns a horse ranch, whether it's an au where he was never a witcher, he's retired from witchering and has a lil home (ala Corvo Bianco), or he just has it on the side of his witchering is up to you, dear It's filled with horses presumably only named Roach, because Geralt is Geralt. There was extra hoof tracks near the back of his barn. Hmm. Either a runaway horse or a wild hors is interested in his stables. It'd be safer for the poor horse if Geralt were able to catch it and make sure it's healthy. So he leaves the door open one night, and stands off to the side, pulling an all-nighter. The second he hears the clipclop of hooves walk in, he shuts the door. He expects the horse to spook and start braying in a panic, but instead he hears a man gasp in surprise. Geralt wonders who would ride their horse into an unknown stable, and holds up his lantern, only to see.... A centaur? A starving, scared centaur, with a messy flop of brown hair, and bright blue eyes. Does- Does he want hay or like... Roast lamb?

Prompt 103

Geralt keeps waking up miraculously healed from contracts. Witcher healing is good, yes, but not that good. And it doesn't work if he goes into towns. He's undoubtedly weary of the phenomenon, but he can't exactly do anything about it at the moment. One night, after a hunt was significantly easier than expected, he's hopped up on too many potions, and the world has blurred and everything is TOO MUCH. Except for the soft yellow light in the distance, moving closer to him. As it gets closer, so too do the soft twinkling sounds. The ball of light hums and sings to him, even as he can barely focus on it's presence. He feels warmth in his wretched shaking hands and spares a second to glance at them, watching in shaken awe as a wound heals before his eyes. Ever since the night where he saw the glowing ball, he begins looking for signs of someone or something following him. He's healed and sung to, but what could the creature actually want from him? Why bother with it all? So one night, when he's bandaged up a scratch wound on thigh, he pretends to sleep. He waits, waits, waits, until finally he hears the twinkling chimes. He springs up and forward, snatching it out of the air, and looking at what he's caught, ready to demand answers, only to see a very startled little winged man staring at him. A fairy? "Why do you heal me?" "Because I like you, obviously!" "You don't know me." "Oh, but I do! I've been watching you for a few months now!" "....Hmm." "You're my muse! I've written songs about your adventures, would you like to hear?!"

Before the Sacking, some noble houses would sponsor witcher schools. It was a show of wealth and prestige, which also had the added benefit of putting one's territories higher on the witchers' list of priorities.

Of course, the sponsors abandoned them when the witchers' numbers dwindled too low to prioritize any territory.

Thus, it was a shock to all of the wolves when they received a letter from the Viscount of Lettenhove offering them a sponsorship contract. Was this a joke? A twisted plot to kill the rest of them? Did this Viscount know they couldn't possibly offer him any sort of special treatment?

Despite their doubts, the wolves sent a representative to Lettenhove. Geralt was the most likely to survive a trap, and his reputation couldn't possibly get lower if he had to fight his way out.

Geralt braced himself for the worst. He had his guard up as he arrived in Lettenhove, as he was received graciously, as he met the surprisingly young and handsome Viscount.

"You must be tired from your long journey. I have a bath and food prepared."

"I'd rather see to the contract first."

The Viscount placed a sheet of parchment before him, and Geralt read the contract. He read it again. A third time to be sure.

"What the fuck is this?!?" Geralt growled.

"I thought the conditions reasonable."

"It's completely one-sided!" Geralt waved the contract in his face, like that would help the Viscount see the situation clearer. "You can't be serious!"

The contract, if you could even call it that, basically guaranteed an allowance for the wolf school and safe lodging for them in Lettenhove or any of the Viscount's properties.

In exchange for...stories. The wolves would have to visit the Viscount to tell him about their hunts.

What the fuck?

"I am deadly serious," the Viscount responded, and Geralt could tell it was the truth. "You see, witcher, I have an excess of responsibilities, so I lack the freedom to travel. However, I have the means to pay someone to share their experiences with me. I thought 'why not pay someone who actually needs the money?' You witchers are famously underpaid."

Geralt stared at the noble uncomprehendingly. If the Viscount was looking for entertainment, Why not hire a bard instead?

"Should you need time to consider it, you may stay as long as you like. Your rooms--"

"We'll sign."

The Viscount's proper facade cracked, and the man beamed like a child. "REALLY?!?"

Geralt nodded. He couldn't understand the Viscount, but he also couldn't deny that he and his brothers needed the money.

I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS!!!

Geralt meets a man named Jaskier who claims he can see ghosts. He isn’t sure if this “ability” is real or a delusion on Jaskier’s part.

Somehow, this uncertainty doesn’t prevent Geralt from falling in love with the man.

YESSSSSS I love this!!!