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a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

pairing; college! suna rintarou x f!reader

genre; angst (songfic / oneshot)

wc; 2,5k

would recommend listening to a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be by jess banko :)

notes; came up with this during my physics lesson and tried to write it before i forgot about the idea ig. this is my first time writing a oneshot and even an angst so i tried my best, would really appreciate your opinions on it!!

i never should’ve kissed, kissed your hand

your eyes drifted to the hand that held his phone, scrolling through instagram. it was fine that he didn’t pay attention to you, he gave you enough during the times when he filled you up, stretching your folds, letting you experience pleasure beyond the imaginable. so it was fine, you told yourself.

looking up, your eyes trailed over his features. how his perfectly defined jaw looked from your view, how his eyes the most beautiful shade you’ve ever seen. trailing your eyes further, you noticed the bruises littering over his knuckles, the shades of purple and red adorning his delicate fingers. without so much as sparing a thought, you gently reached for his hand, grabbing it to place fleeting kisses over the bruised fingers.

“were you involved in another fight, rin?” you murmured, playing with his long slender fingers, loving the way they felt between your hands.

“mhm.”

“you shouldn’t get into more fights rin, your hands are too pretty to damage, plus you play volleyball.”

he turned to look at you, his gaze enough to send shivers down your spine, those fox-like eyes always had you weak. he took his hands away from yours to place his phone down, turning his body to fully face you. those delicate fingers slowly started to trail down your thigh, “is that the only reason?” he whispered to your ear, trailing kisses and bites amongst the way.

you closed your eyes. his touch never failed to amaze you, never once did it not give you pleasure; he knew your body perfectly. “, maybe not the only reason…” you breathed out, hands moving to his shoulders to keep him in place while he let his fingers touch your already wet core.

i am under your control, i will never understand

it was another day, another night. you were once again under the sheets of suna’s bed. but this time you weren’t laying bare naked on his chest. no, this time you were sitting against his headboard, legs crossed, looking at him with a shocked expression on your face.

“you want me to...explain to you a midsummer night’s dream?” you had no idea why he wanted to learn about such a thing. suna hated english literature, he made that pretty clear one night when you were ranting about your favorite pieces and sharing your feelings about them.

“yeah, im kinda falling behind on the lesson and they need us to write a report about one of shakespeare’s works, and i don’t feel like reading it.” he shrugged, acting indifferent. you knew that wasn’t the reason, you took english literature, and you knew an assignment like that wasn’t given. you felt a pang in your heart, you should’ve realized from how he forgot that you took the lesson that he didn’t care. but you were in too deep to care.

so you agreed. you talked about the difficulty of love, explained how disparity or inequality interferes with the harmony of a relationship. the way he looked at you, listening to every word you said intently had you fooled, continuing to explain the quartet of athenian lovers, who find themselves in an increasingly tangled knot of misaligned desire.

you go to the most minimal details to be of help to him. you would always help him if he needed anything, after all, he had you under a spell; a spell you couldn’t, no a spell you didn’t want to break.

i never should’ve said

next week came and you were once again laying against suna’s chest, legs tangled under the blanket. the affection he would show you after a fuck always made your heart flutter. what was between you two was supposed to be a fuck and go; friends with benefits is what your friend called, something that should occur once or twice a month. but it didn’t go that way, sooner or later you found yourself in his apartment almost every day, believing when you told yourself what you had gone deeper than just a fuck. it was addicting you say the least, the way he felt inside you. you no swore no man had ever had you this weak. no man could ever have you in trance under one look.

despite knowing this was supposed to be no feelings attached, you fell for him, hard. it’s as if it was straight out of a book, a love that shouldn’t have happened. but you loved him knowing he didn’t feel the same for you. yet you still got your hopes up from time to time, he called you almost every day, he let you lay on his chest, let you see his most vulnerable times.

and for the first time last week, you felt like things could look up for you. he had listened to you talk about the book intently, nodding every time you made sure he was keeping up, asking questions from time to time. it made you believe that perhaps he had caught feelings for you as well, asking about your interests to get closer to you. the idea was enough to have you blushing red. without realizing three words you kept within the deepest parts of your heart were coming out of your mind in a faint whisper, “i love you”

you chose to ignore the way his body tensed, his breathing halting for a second only to continue as if you hadn’t just spilled your feelings. you were aware he heard you, aware that he never said it back. it hurt you, but you deluded yourself into believing that he hadn’t heard it.

you pretended to ignore the way your heart broke at his silence.

so why do i still care for you

he stopped calling you after that day. gone were the nights where you laid on his chest, your heart easing with each heartbeat of his. your eyes would search for him around to campus, and when you did spot him, his eyes would never find yours, always looking somewhere else.

you texted him; multiple times. he never answered, and you knew what that had meant but didn’t want to come to terms with it. you wanted it to be a dream, only to wake up back on his chest again, in your comfort space.

you hated how you cried almost every night looking at your phone with zero notifications from him. but you knew you had to move on, knew he never felt the same way you did. so why did you stay? why did your eyes still continue to search for him around the campus hoping he would see you and walk towards you?

stranger, that’s all i see

you realized why he stopped calling for you once you saw him walk around the campus with a girl in his arms. a girl from your literature course. a girl you remember once chatting about your favorite books.

it hit you then; why he asked about the book that night.

when i look into your eyes

he didn’t even spare you a glance when you walked past them, never lifted his eyes off the girl he seemed to be infatuated by. you knew you didn’t own him, so you knew the anger you felt when you saw them, hand in hand, was something you had no right to feel.

and you knew he didn’t owe you, and that you shouldn’t ask for more; you shouldn’t feel so let down, because you knew what you had signed up for from the beginning.

but was it selfish that you wanted to be her? you wish he looked at you that way, the way you’ve been looking at him for the past few weeks.

you wish he’d searched you the way you searched for him everywhere you went.

wished he’d love you the way you loved him.

a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

it never stopped hurting. seeing him around, with arms keeping the girl he adored by his side wherever he went. a smile on his face that he never once gave you.

you gave him the best of you. always by his side whenever he needed anything, helping him with anything, comforting him through tough periods of time. it was only now you realized how one-sided everything was, how you fooled yourself into believing that every single little action he had was because he liked you and not because it kept you by his side. his disposable toy.

it hurt that you had to let him go, but you didn’t want to. because you were still waiting for the impossible to happen.

how stupid of you to think you were the only flower in his garden.

stranger, who knows all my secrets

another reason why it was hard to let go of him was that he had become your safe haven. your home life was never easy, with parents on the brink of divorce, it was filled with screams, cries, and heartbreak. you grew up witnessing firsthand what a loveless marriage looked like, so love scared you, but it also made you desperate to find someone who would love you with all they had.

you met him during a bad period of time, things were ruffer at home and your friend had invited you to a party. that was how you spotted suna sitting on the couch looking like a man sculpted by the gods themselves.

you couldn’t stop staring, your eyes seeming to never leave him. and when he spotted you, kept your eye contact, and moved towards you to dance with you, you knew you were a goner.

that night was the night how things had started between you two.

you would often rant about this stuff to him, and he would listen openly; at least you thought he had listened, now you’re not sure if he did. next to your parents, suna was a fresh breath of air, as if you were drowning and he pulled you out of the depths of the ocean and gave you life. and you clung to it, desperate to keep your life source close.

funny how the one thing that kept to sane and alive was now gone, in someone else’s arms.

can pull me apart and break my heart

in the blink of an eye a year had passed by, and you thought you were healing. seeing him with her didn’t pain you as much as it did before, this was a process your friend had told you.

you even went on multiple different dates, tried to look interested in them, to keep listening to them even when your mind kept wandering back to the fox-eyed boy that still haunted your dreams. you thought you were moving on, believed you were moving on. perhaps you were still fooling yourself.

you were walking home from yet another date your friend set you up with. it went just like the others, a one-time thing to never be repeated again. you unconsciously kept trying to find him in all of them, but it was all in vain. as you reached your neighbor’s house, you saw someone waiting in front of your door.

suna rintarou.

you knew it was him, you could spot him between millions if it were the situation, he was imprinted in your brain, heart, soul.

so many different scenarios ran through your minds in the seconds you were walking closer to him. what if he broke up with her? maybe he regretted leaving you and wanted to try again? or perhaps he was here to confess to you like you always once dreamed of.

but you stopped those thoughts. because the second you saw the look in suna’s eyes, you knew none of those were the case. his eyes weren’t filled with affection nor shyness, rather a guilty look adorned his face.

“suna–”

“look, i really don’t want to keep this long.” he crossed his arms, taking a deep breath. “i know it wasn’t nice of me to ghost you all of a sudden, but i didn’t owe you any explanation so i kept it at that.”

you were paralyzed in your spot, eyes wide. it felt like something pierced your heart when he said he owed you no explanation. was he always this cold?

“–but akane told me that i had to apologize to you properly, and i guess she’s right since if you hadn’t explained to me about that book that night i probably wouldn’t have the courage to go and talk to her–”

“–you’re only apologizing to me because she told you to?” no longer were you sad or shocked, you felt anger run through your veins, it both hurt and angered you at the same time that he was so nonchalant about this. finding courage, bravery you never felt before, you opened your mouth,

“suna, i don’t know what or how much i meant to you, but you meant a great deal to me. you were some sort of an anchor in my life and it pained me a lot that you left without a word. sending a text or saying to my face that we were over isn’t a hard thing suna. it doesn’t take much courage nor time to say those words.”

“y/n–”

“–and a year late! suna it has been a year since you said a word to me, and now you come here and “try” to apologize not because you want to but because you were forced to?” you shook your head, your voice getting louder with each passing word. it was all too much in one moment, you didn’t want to hear one more word from him.

“leave.”

“y/n you’re acting immature–”

“don’t you dare start with that you asshole. leave before i force you to.” you didn’t spare him another glance as you pushed him aside to open your door, glancing back to take one more look at him, you saw nothing but annoyance in those very eyes you once loved to gaze at and shut the door.

leaning your back against the now-closed door, you slid down to the floor holding your knees against your chest as you finally let the tears you were holding run down your face. you had wanted closure but this was definitely not what you had in mind. and why were you crying? he was a jerk and you deserved better. but you were still broken over the fact that he never once cared for you, loved you.

it was your mistake, you got your heart broken again by a love that wasn’t meant to be, and fell for a person whose heart would never belong to you.

it’s pathetic really, how much you still hoped it would be you and him in the end.

a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

[ 6:00 PM ]

suna rintarou x reader

inspired by this tiktok

it was six pm when you came home from work. your friend was absent today so all her workload was given to you and it tired you out a lot. you weren’t some big shot person like your boyfriend who was a volleyball star, rather, you worked in the sports column of a newspaper, and since your friend was absent, you had to look over her parts as well. they weren’t your area of expertise so it took a lot of your time and all you wanted to do was get in your comfy clothes and cuddle with your boyfriend suna in bed.

so when you entered your room you were surprised to see that suna was missing. he would always be waiting in bed for you on fridays because he got to leave his practices early and wanted to spend more time with you. shrugging it off you made your way to the closet and picked out your sweatpants and one of suna’s t-shirts. you loved the way they fit on you and his imbedded smell on them always managed to calm you down.

getting ready you walked back down to search for suna. seeing as he wasn’t in the kitchen nor the living room, you made your way to the garden only to find him lazily laying on the couch with his phone in his hand. smiling at the view you slowly walked near him and made your place on his lap, snuggling your face in his neck, “i missed you rin.” your voice came out muffled.

you felt his lips make contact with your neck as he laid butterfly kisses on the area murmuring a soft “welcome home.” his one arm keeping you in place tightly as the other continued to hold his phone.

“how was your day—hey i’ll close this live if i see one more comment about her you fuckers.” his question was cut off with him complaining about the comments made on you in his live. you hadn’t realized he was on instagram livestream and your cheeks flushed red at the though of people seeing you like this. but then you remembered the comments and paused, you knew what kind of things they said about you.

how he deserved someone better and how you were an unimportant person. how famous models would comment at his pictures about treating him better. at first it hurt you; you let your insecurities get the best of you at some point and told suna about everything about to break up with him. but that day he assured a million times how you were the only girl his eyes saw and that the haters could screw off it they wanted. that night he held you closely as your let the tears fall from your eyes.

but now you were confident. with suna’s reassurance you learned to not heed attention to the comments and ignore them. you realized; they were just jealous of what they couldn’t have, and that was not your problem at all. “it’s alright rin.” you whispered into his ear. about to open his mouth to rebuttal, you cut him off.

“i am fully aware of what you all say about me.” you fully turned around to face the camera, taking the phone from suna’s hand and holding it in yours. “but i don’t give a fuck.” you deadpanned. leaning against suna’s chest, you continued, “because at the end of the day, im the one who gets to sit on his lap. and im the one who he fucks every night he comes home. it’s okay to be jealous. i would be too.” you smiled.

suna’s eyes were on you the entire time, first widened with shock, proud of the confidence you gained, but with each sentence something in him stirred. and as his eyes began to slowly trail down your face to his shirt you were wearing, he took the phone back from you and ended the livestream.

face flushed in realization of what you did, you tried to cover you face, “i—i’m sorry rin. i don’t know what came over me i hope that doesn’t ruin anything—“ he cut you off with an intense kiss while he dropped his phone to cup your face with both hands.

you immediately responded back with the same energy and let your hands find their places in hair as you tugged it roughly to press yourself closer to him. you weren’t expecting him to hold your thighs with his hands as he lifted you up; your legs latching themselves around his hip. breaking the kiss to look at you he smirked, “why don’t we go to the bedroom y/n. after all we didn’t have our daily run did we.”

face now beet red you slapped his chest and hid your face against his neck, his laugh like melodies in your ears as you relished the moment. he continued his way to the bedroom with your body around his like a koala. laying you against the bed, he took his shirt off while looking down at you, “now c’mon you weren’t shy back there, no need to be shy now bunny.”

alright once i move past my 2 AP exams these are what i plan on writing other than the night changes smau;

- love and war; gojo satoru x reader

- happiness does not wait; suna rintarou x reader (a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be part 2)

- lover of mine; miya atsumu x reader

- a three part suna rintarou x reader fic that i haven’t picked a name for (i think i’ll name it you get me so high)

haikyuu boys after meeting your parents

featuring; osamu, atsumu, suna x f!reader

warning; just fluff <3

notes; i added some parts from my own life so let’s forget about the stuff mentioned in osamu’s part :’D also this is my first time writing something like this so-

miya osamu

miya atsumu

suna rintarou

friendship between rawenclaw!reader and slytherin! suna

featuring; our favorite boy suna

warnings; just some wholesome friendship headcannons cause why not :>

note; this a very spur of the moment headcannon post (also my first time doing one) so enjoy >:)

okay, suna definitely brings out the playful side in you, always annoying you to the brink of just giving in to his activities like playing hide-and-seek on the hogwarts express

now this isn’t any playful type of one tho. both of you are adamant on taking it seriously and using top notch strategies to win the game so it usually gets very intense to the point where every other passenger gives up on trying to stop you both

you also add in bets on who will win since you both have a pride you don’t let go off. suna usually bargains for a packet of jelly sticks or anything related to food, while you just tell him to leave you alone without games for a week to get your peace back. (ps. it usually ends up with him winning)

you guys also always do you homework in the library together. suna wasn’t a dumb student but he also wasn’t the brightest one which always led you to tutoring him or just letting him copy of your work, but that doesn’t mean you don’t mess with him

you argue its for his sake! if the teacher sees his answers are the same as your they’ll definitely punish him, so you take it upon yourself to give him the wrong answers from time to time

suna: what’s the answer to 27?

you: merlin’s ass

suna still writes that answer down not even thinking if its wrong or not. he just trusts you that way lmao

making weird faces at each other from across the great hall. im sure this would be canon if real, it doesn’t need more explanation

suna always manages to find you in the huge halls of the school and knock the books in your hands from behind you. when you get down to collect them and see suna above you with a smirking expression; suddenly the books are forgotten and the only thing on your mind is murdering that bastard alive considering the amount of times he’s done it

and when you don’t manage to catch up to him (which is usually the case) he goes back to collect the books laying on the ground because he feels bad :// he gives them to you during lunch break with your favorite snack placed on top. you could never resist the look he gives you (enter the puppy dog eyes) with a flick on the forehead you accept his apology despite him continuing this habit.

complicated. handshakes. that’s all. it includes legs, hands, hips, heads, idk add in everything. it takes you weeks to form it and weeks to memorize it but its something special to you both so you cherish it

it was suna’s idea but you both know each other’s dorm passwords for emergency cases, tho %99 of the time its just suna coming in secretly to steal some stuff from your secret food stash bcs he’s hungry or he just wants to share the latest gossip at 2am bcs its that important

being sarcastic 25/8. literally not any of your conversations are serious

one day you went to his dorm at night to lay down next to him bcs you felt a little scared with the lighting and asked him “will you ever fall in love”

he answered it with “i can’t even fall asleep”

he always annoys you for you attention; anywhere, anytime. may it be class, recess, lunch, or even your sleep time. pokes anywhere on your body, throws paper balls or planes across the classroom; his target being your head. he’ll bug you during lunch so you’ll buy him jelly stick or share from your secret stash (he doesn’t mention how he already steals from there) or even moaning in the back of the class or doing something stupid and blaming you if caught

yeah he’s that kid

but nevertheless, despite being sarcastic all the time around school, behind closed doors you have deep, real, and meaningful chats about life in general. he somehow has a poetic side to him and his explanations on certain topics always manages to amaze you

you both trust each other a lot so you can be real about your feelings and how you feel about certain stuff. he always listens with an open ear never missing a second of your talk. suna is a good listener and he always makes you feel valued during those moments

overall you guys have a very wholesome and lovable friendship that every other student envies bcs yall are that cool and amazing lol