It Just Kills Me When Writers Create Franchises Where Like 95% Of The Speaking Roles Are Male, Then Get

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

This is empires season 1 king Joel’s weapon of choice

marry Christmas

Not even two days after Halloween and my local cvs has already decked the halls

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

Empires smp god au

Pearl Goddess of the harvest and farming her title was literally the farmer pearl and in the past people kept track of harvest by looking at the phases of the moon and positioning of the constellations

Lizzie the trickster goddess of the ocean and government ocean because in season one she was a fish goddess and government because in season two she was a mayor and in both she is a scam artist trying to make a profit through morality ambiguous means

Joel god of thunder and art in canon he is the god of thunder and if anyone in empires was a art god it would be the guy that sculpted clones of himself and built stratos/mezalia

Katherine goddess order and balance and duality she fights evil by transforming from the pretty pink princess to the axe wielding warrior and as lady Katherine of the overgrown she is the one that is neutral the one that Try’s to keep order

Jimmy is The god of death for obvious reasons

Joey is the god of wealth and desire because he is a pirate and pirates like gold also he steals from false and really wants to get in xornoth s pants he also Katherine’s (understandable)

Shubble is the goddess of nature and the wild because her whole wolf thing she had going on in the first season of empires and the infected outlaw thing she had in season 2

Scott god of the passage of time and the four seasons (and rainbows) because he has connections to flowers (spring) in life series and stars in origin smp and winter in empires smp

Pix god of messengers and prophecies( he is in charge of the recaps that gives people information they might have missed also he is a prophet)

Fwhip god of fire and revenge because in both seasons of empires he has had a stubborn heated rivalry with jimmy and did not take the break up well also in art his hair is fire truck red

Gem goddess knowledge and magic because she as the wizard gem she is a powerful magician and because as the princess of dawn she teaches others about the sun god also the wizard gems empire is literally a school

Sausage love and family and lust because he is known for his platonic love (Hermes and Eddie and pearl) and let’s say his passionate spicy love( pole dancing and flirting)

Oli god of music and insanity he is a bard and who’s words make zero sense to everyone and watching him you get sensory overload ( he is the oldest but nobody believes him)

false goddess of mystery and adventure and new beginnings because she is lost her memory and is a very adventurous person also do to the lost memories she basically started from square one when she came to empires

I head canon that Jimmy has the dead anime mom hair of death

This is why he always dies first