Aerbiscuit - I'm Lurkin' Ova Here!

Some people stumble over their words or get butterflies around their crush. Your fave gets uncontrollably gassy. Needless to say, you end up being the first person to accept them, even nicknaming their little quirk ‘love toots.’ You can still cause the occasional fart frenzy years into the relationship.

I decided to finally start posting for myself on this lurker blog. Let's see if anyone else likes my fart-based thoughts...

I've been thinking a lot about centaur gas specifically. Horses are already some of the gassiest creatures we've got in our own world. It makes sense that centaurs, who have the digestive systems of both humans and horses, would be walking gas factories as well.

In a world where centaurs are a legitimate population, their gassiness is probably well-known and joked about. "Don't stand behind a centaur" is just as much of a warning about getting hit by a hot blast of horse gas as it is by one of their hooves. Any non-centaur dating a centaur is told, "Hey, at least you've got someone to blame your farts on."

Of course, that means that anyone into farts would be living their best life if they find a big, sweet centaur to love~

Person A and Person B only recently started dating, but A forgot to tell B about something important: they're a health nut, and their carefully curated diet happens to give them crazy bad gas. A tries to crack jokes about it, but that just makes it seem like they don't care about their award-winningly putrid farts, even as the stench drives other people away from them. Fortunately for them, B finds the contrast between A's nasty flatulence and their seemingly aloof reactions to it super hot. The two form a strong bond as B is consistently the only person to stick by A's side even after a bubbly protein ripper that could clear several rooms at once.

Bonus: A's diet also makes them belch loudly and often, but for some reason, they're more bashful and apologetic about them than their casual nuclear farts.

Stuck up chubby elven lord with a gassy problem, and his overly familiar cheeky guard he grew up with?

Person A and Person B are coworkers in an office job. They both work hard, but while A acts polite and willing to do errands for someone else, B is… not. Most notable is how B farts loudly and without warning or remorse, so much so that everyone in a neighbouring cubicle gets disrupted whenever they rip ass. Whenever they leave, they have a tendency to loudly crop-dust the hallways. On top of that, B's cubicle always smells like farts, and nobody else wants to go in there. Nobody except for A, that is. A has a raging fart fetish, and intently listens for every ass-blast B lets out through the thin walls, usually cracking a joke whenever they do. Their secret adoration for B's fart-soaked cubicle makes them an ideal volunteer to retrieve anything from B's cubicle. Since nobody else regularly brings themself to enter B's fart zone, A and B bond quickly, and A regularly advocates for how good an employee B is despite their rampant farting.