Centaur Thought: An Activity That Shows The Absolute Trust That You Have In A Centaur Is Tail-braiding.

Centaur thought: An activity that shows the absolute trust that you have in a centaur is tail-braiding.

As we’ve established, centaurs are insanely gassy. As a result, grooming activities such as braiding a centaur’s tail (something that MUST be performed by somebody else) is often avoided. Even other centaurs don’t always want to be directly behind a huge ass that could blow off “steam” at any moment. And there’s the fact that all that hard work will inevitably be blown around by farts once you’re done anyway.

Braiding a centaur’s tail, especially while taking your time to make it as well-done and beautiful as you can, shows that you don’t care that your hard work will get relentlessly farted on: you care more about doing this kind thing for someone who matters to you. It also shows one of two things:

You trust that this centaur won't blast a fart in your face, at least not intentionally.

You have accepted that getting farted on is just a part of the process.

(Secret thing) You absolutely enjoy getting farted on while you braid a centaur’s tail.

Imagine if there were a full nutrition-based plan to slowly alter your digestive abilities and make you as gassy as physically possible.

The regimen would likely be multi-course, involving food/drinks/pills that were specifically created to change the levels/types of bacteria in your guts. There would also be a recommended diet plan so that you know how to recognize which foods make you gassiest and how to incorporate gas triggers naturally into your meals. This plan would pride itself on turning even the most tight-anused person with a golden digestive system into someone who can’t last fifteen minutes without passing a long, fresh fart.

Beware, though. Each customer is warned that while theoretically, the effects of this nutrition plan will wear off after a month or so of not taking the branded food/drinks/pills, at least 25% of people experience some minor permanent increase in their fart output, with 5% of people staying permanently as gassy as when they were on the digestion-altering substances at their strongest.

Now, the question is… would you try it?

This fart-related thought is a little complicated, but stay with me.

Imagine that two characters, A and B, used to be in a relationship, but they broke up with B dumping A. The breakup was really hard on A, who was head-over-heels in love with B. One of the things they took the hardest, though, was that they blamed themself for the breakup. A is a little gassy, and they have a fetish to go with it. B doesn’t have the kink, but allowed A to explore it when they were together. A spends a lot of time despairing that their gas and fetish is what ruined the relationship, and what makes it worse is that they don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, so they just marinate in sadness for a while.

After months of keeping their distance, B happens to talk to A in person. The conversation is a little awkward, but some things are finally apologized for and some subjects clarified. In the middle of their talk, A mentions that they’ve been miserable knowing that their gas ruined the relationship.

Finally, B says something that lifts many of A’s dark clouds of despair: the gas had never chased B away. True, B had been new to that sort of thing, and it was a LOT different than kinks from the other relationships he had been in, but it had no factor in the breakup. Honestly, B started finding A’s farts cute, and they appreciated being able to see a side of A that no one else did. They were signs of A being comfortable and happy around B. In fact, in a moment of honesty that even B didn’t expect themself to reveal, B sometimes finds themself missing those farts as he continues to be with other people.

Well, it’s no “Take me back, I miss you,” but it cures A’s post-breakup depression. They finally feel like they can embrace the thought of dating again, and can move on from B. Although, B has to admit, the conversation brought back a lot of nice memories...

You know how sometimes farts can smell like a certain type of fast food not long after you eat it?

I’m imagining someone having a cheat day where they just BINGE on stuff from their favorite fast food place. They load themselves up and enjoy every single bite, damn the consequences.

Well, the consequences come sooner rather than later when they’re holding in an insane amount of gas in a crowded area. Finally, they decide they can’t take it anymore and let out a thick, dense cloud of farts, a mixture of silent ones and ones that audibly rumble, but not loud enough to be overheard.

It doesn’t take long for the smell to seep through the entire room, and they brace themselves for the worst… but then are pleasantly surprised when everyone just starts thinking they’re smelling actual food: people comment that someone passing by must be carrying a huge delivery from the fast food place, or that there must be a location nearby they don’t know of. It even tickles this person to hear that some of these strangers now feel hungry and are craving whatever yummy thing they’re smelling.

This person slyly walks home and spends the rest of the day farting up their room, happily enjoying their fast food binge a second time.

We’ve all heard about people who can’t stop farting when they get anxious. But I wonder if it could ever be a thing to get super gassy when you’re horny.

Like, if stress can give people bubble guts, maybe those wires could get crossed enough in the brain that a person can’t have feelings of arousal without also brewing up some gas.

Someone with this condition would have to find a partner who is totally fine with farts squeaking out during foreplay, and then getting louder and longer as the sex gets more intense.

is a gassy boyfriend with a fat ass too much to ask for? 😞