This Fart-related Thought Is A Little Complicated, But Stay With Me.

This fart-related thought is a little complicated, but stay with me.

Imagine that two characters, A and B, used to be in a relationship, but they broke up with B dumping A. The breakup was really hard on A, who was head-over-heels in love with B. One of the things they took the hardest, though, was that they blamed themself for the breakup. A is a little gassy, and they have a fetish to go with it. B doesn’t have the kink, but allowed A to explore it when they were together. A spends a lot of time despairing that their gas and fetish is what ruined the relationship, and what makes it worse is that they don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, so they just marinate in sadness for a while.

After months of keeping their distance, B happens to talk to A in person. The conversation is a little awkward, but some things are finally apologized for and some subjects clarified. In the middle of their talk, A mentions that they’ve been miserable knowing that their gas ruined the relationship.

Finally, B says something that lifts many of A’s dark clouds of despair: the gas had never chased B away. True, B had been new to that sort of thing, and it was a LOT different than kinks from the other relationships he had been in, but it had no factor in the breakup. Honestly, B started finding A’s farts cute, and they appreciated being able to see a side of A that no one else did. They were signs of A being comfortable and happy around B. In fact, in a moment of honesty that even B didn’t expect themself to reveal, B sometimes finds themself missing those farts as he continues to be with other people.

Well, it’s no “Take me back, I miss you,” but it cures A’s post-breakup depression. They finally feel like they can embrace the thought of dating again, and can move on from B. Although, B has to admit, the conversation brought back a lot of nice memories...

unironically my situationship rn lolll

I know there's that debate of shameless vs embarrassed farts, but consider a secret third thing: discreet farts 👀 someone finding subtle ways to let rip in front of others, because what's the alternative? holding it in until they're alone? 🙄 they're gonna fart when they need to, but they don't want the consequences of people finding out, so they've perfected the art of getting away with it.

bearing down to vent a huge bubble of gas in the middle of the club or a concert venue, the sound safely hidden beneath the noise, screwing their face up at their friends when the smell hits like ew who did that? even as they squeeze out a few extra rumbles. standing in the middle of a grocery aisle and not drawing attention to themselves as they reach down to slowly pull apart one cheek and let out a silent, billowing gust of hot stink into the air, letting their guts deflate a bit before wandering off. blowing ass in the movie theater but making sure to time it to the loud parts of the movie so they don't get caught. being in a video chat meeting on mute and keeping their expression schooled as they fart with abandon into their chair, their unprofessional behaviour only just out of frame. just uuuugh people hiding how gross they are 🥴😩

Sooo kinda recycling an earlier idea of mine, but screw it!

Imagine a group of YouTubers (maybe 3-4) who all work on the same channel. They usually sit down and play video games together without recording videos of themselves, but they also do other stuff on camera from time to time. They’re also kinda gassy guys, with every other video including one of them farting juuuuust loud enough for a small rumble to pick up on the microphones. However, since the microphones are at mouth level and not ass level, there’s only so much noise the viewers can hear. Sometimes, the viewers’ only clue that one of them farted is one of the YouTubers remarking that they did.

For April Fool’s day one year, their Let’s Play episode starts out a little differently. Their voices sound strangely distant, and one of the them takes a moment (unseen, since we can only see the gameplay footage) to lean over to a microphone and explain the situation: for today’s episode, they moved the microphones to a different area, and the group is interested to see if the viewers will realize where they are.

The YouTubers start playing their game and for five minutes, it’s unclear where these microphones are. Their voices are muffled and quiet, and the only clear noises are intermittent fabric rustling and shuffling.

Suddenly, a new sound bursts forth, loud and clear: a two-second fart. On any other episode, the couch would’ve muffled it, but now, the viewers can hear it with ease.

Yes, the microphones were put very near their asses, and the episode description informs the viewers that the guys loaded up on chili fries, wings, and “healthy” (i.e., inulin-laced) smoothies before their session. The following 45 minutes of gameplay are punctuated with farts of varying sizes, with even the more-silent hisses getting picked up by the mics.

Surprisingly, while an understandable number of people were a bit grossed out by the April Fool’s day upload, the YouTubers find their subscriber count skyrocket with an influx of new, very eager audience members. They decide to make the fart mics a yearly April Fools tradition, and for the rest of the year, they dare to try farting loud enough for even their mouth-level mics to pick up on.

Centaur thought: An activity that shows the absolute trust that you have in a centaur is tail-braiding.

As we’ve established, centaurs are insanely gassy. As a result, grooming activities such as braiding a centaur’s tail (something that MUST be performed by somebody else) is often avoided. Even other centaurs don’t always want to be directly behind a huge ass that could blow off “steam” at any moment. And there’s the fact that all that hard work will inevitably be blown around by farts once you’re done anyway.

Braiding a centaur’s tail, especially while taking your time to make it as well-done and beautiful as you can, shows that you don’t care that your hard work will get relentlessly farted on: you care more about doing this kind thing for someone who matters to you. It also shows one of two things:

You trust that this centaur won't blast a fart in your face, at least not intentionally.

You have accepted that getting farted on is just a part of the process.

(Secret thing) You absolutely enjoy getting farted on while you braid a centaur’s tail.

clingy subs? great. but clingy doms? them wanting you to always be at arm reach, them grabbing your face to kiss you every 5mins, them randomly pulling you to sit on their lap so they can bury their face in your neck and just doms wanting your attention 24/7 is just fucking amazing.