This Whole Past Week Has Felt Like "WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I HAD MY SHIT TOGETHER I AM AN ADULT WHAT

This whole past week has felt like "WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I HAD MY SHIT TOGETHER I AM AN ADULT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" 😒 (You can feel free to message me about it but I'm a very busy man)

ok i’m done being crazy lol

Just a little participation in the Oneytober festivities. I can hardly type so I'll try to keep this short. I did have a mental breakdown the other day, idk why, maybe I had too much caffeine or something. I'm not gonna drink tonight but I know that I CAN. I usually don't drink a lot, so I'll do it Friday night when I'm HOME. Well, we'll see how my psychiatrist appointment and therapy goes. One is telehealth so it's whatever. I added prompts October 1-3 in here, but I forgot to draw Zach as a vampire bat, maybe I'll draw all of them as vampire bats. Lyle's design is supposed to be inspired by the Twilight sparkly vampires, Tomar inspired by older vampires like Nosferatu. Not sure if the other ones are classified as vampires but they got the fangs and ears lol. Maybe chibi vampires? Eh, maybe I'll draw more prompts as they come up. I don't think I can bring up the prompt sheet now but I'm sure it's easily accessible. added a cat too cause I wasn't sure what else to add.

The transgender boyfriend we all need 🫡

practicing drawing him

And they were roommates 👀 (well they better be I mean Charlie better GTFO his apartment like does he even have a damn bed? 😭 😭)

What's this? The SF tag is inactive? *cracks knuckles* time to fix that.

Little update: tw transphobia: I don't own the original footage, nor do I entirely know the context except for the fact that Lyle is having issues editing footage of himself lol.

Anyways, I added text over it because I have a bit of a story to share, and I don't feel comfortable sharing to my Instagram or Facebook, cause I'm not sure I want my mom to see it just yet.

So me, my sis, and my mom went out together and had a lot of fun, basically I don't want to say too much but I feel like they were BARELY trying with my new name and pronouns. Of course it's ONLY been maybe a month since I've notified them, but it's been longer since I've had them on ALL social media platforms and even longer still since I knew I was and am trans.

I first knew I was nonbinary before realizing that I'm also trans masculine, which is a bit silly, but my gender journey isn't completely linear.

When our mom left to go back home she said "don't focus on the pronouns" and I was cheekily smiling but in my mouth I wanted to spew out "go fuck yourself" but I REALLY didn't want to deal with her reaction and all the new stuff going on today (don't worry, it's good stuff mainly.)

I feel like she may not understand, because she's old, about twice as old as me. So I NEED to give her some grace for that, no really I feel like I need to. But sometimes it just makes me feel like I'm not making any progress.

I'd like to medically transition in some fashion, legally, too, but I'm not sure how to figure all that.

I have another therapist appointment this week, and I do NOT plan to miss them. They SAID they would get me a gender therapist, I would like someone to just even TALK to about the whole thing. I knew that I've mainly been a guy for maybe my entire life, or just feel REALLY uncomfortable with femme terms being used for me basically. My pronouns are he/they/it. Yes, it is one of them. I just don't know if I want to explain myself there, but I have been involved in the furry community a little bit or at least like drawing anthro characters from time to time.

But that's besides the point. I am a person, I'm not a she, I have a life, ever since I've realized how much it bothers me to be called she, the more it hurts. I however, STILL like presenting somewhat femininely, and some people may have some trouble understanding that.

I could go on and on about how I both care about my gender and don't care at the same time. Like I feel like I don't matter even though I'm continuously coming out, being brave, and feels somewhat surreal that I'd finally see the day that I'd stop denying how I feel on the inside. Of course there will ALWAYS be bullies. Know that I stand with you trans folks of all kinds. I'm not going to cut off my mom from my life, or my sister. I KNOW they are trying to understand. This IS a phase of my life, but that's not to say that I'll go back in the closet. I want to be out, even if I'll be uncomfortable a lot, even if I'll be exhausted a lot. I just want to make sure other trans folks are safe too. Don't come out unless you are safe. I wasn't even sure I would be. I'm gonna start arming myself in case something DOES go wrong though. Not heavy artillery, just smaller stuff, more defensive. Make sure you have a great support system.

Anyways, as far as art goes, idk, maybe catch me on Instagram? But just keep in mind my mom is on Facebook.

... spicy...

charpim again??? yup, i luv them, srry guys