Tw Transphobes - Tumblr Posts

; " oh but I don't want trans women / men in the correct bathrooms, what if they stare at me !?? Or peep !?? "

; is probably one of the dumbest statements / reasons I've ever heard to justify transphobia. Like literally, there is no valid reasoning behind it I can possibly think of from any point of view. It's stupid.

; if someone is going to claw their way over your stall, or take a dive under the door, or whatever else you think people do in public bathrooms ... They're gonna do it. Trans or not, a sticker on the door saying " women " or " men " won't stop them. So stop pretending like every trans person is some freaky predator who is trying to snap pictures of you !! I can guarantee that, just like anyone else, they're going to avoid eye contact at all costs while they quickly do their business, wash their hands and leave. It's a bathroom for fucks sake.

; and if something like that does happen to you, what gender that person identifies with should be the least of your problems !?? Like huh ??

You hate a woman for standing up for women's rights? TRA and MRA are carbon copies. Enjoy your male supremacy movement - I'll be reading HP and enjoying JKs rich symbolism, foreshadowing, diction, world building and plot bc I don't hate women.

I hate JK Rowling for repeatedly stating that transgender people don't exist, that we're all either paedophiles or confused Autistic lesbians with internalised misogyny. I don't hate women either, I never have, I hate the HP books because the writing is comparable to stuff I wrote for English assignments in 3rd grade.

The fact that you were so offended by the comment from a Tumblr user, shows that you are a sad, pathetic person who didn't even have the guts to use their actual account to spew hatred, and instead chose to hide behind a mask of anonymity.

It shows that mine and other trans peoples existence lives in your head rent free, while I'm enjoying sitting with my dog and watching Dungeon Meshi, you are seething over my random comment and took it upon yourself to tell me that you think me disliking a woman, who would rather all trans people drop dead rather than exist, means that I hate women standing up for women's rights.

So in case some of you don't know, I'm a trans 16yr old in Western Australia, AKA the worst Aus state to live in for trans minors.

I'm serious.

This state is behind on LGBT+ rights by at LEAST 5 years compared to the other states of Aus, our government has been promising to outlaw conversion therapy for the past year (give or take) and still hasn't made it into law. Despite what people believe, conversion therapy is still LEGAL, sure it's difficult to find but it is still fucking legal.

Out of the entire state of WA there is only one clinic that can offer gender affirming care to under 18s, besides the one that offers it to 17-25yr olds, and that is the Gender Diversity Service at Perth Children's Hospital. WA is a huge state, so if you lived in Albany you would need to drive over five hours to get to Perth, it is a ten hour drive there and back.

Sure they offer Telehealth appointments but what about when you need to get your HRT script, or your height and weight recorded? Sure you can do it via Telehealth and give them that info through email but they prefer to meet face to face.

The GDS doesn't have enough staff to meet the demand, and the waitlist for an actual appointment with your care team after the initial assessment is three years. I was on the waitlist from 11-13 1/2 (eleven to thirteen and a half), by the time I had my first real appointment I couldn't even be prescribed puberty blockers because I had already finished puberty. And because of the lack of info regarding minors transitioning in WA, and minors transitioning in Australia in general, my parents were unaware puberty blockers were even a thing, and I ended up thinking that I could start T at 14 with parental consent and after being deemed Gillick Competent.

nope

You can only start HRT here after you turn 16, unless you want to get a telehealth appointment over East and in which case, good luck, because most Drs over there that prescribe to minors are completely booked out. And to make things worse for my mental health, the psychiatrist on my care team said that if I didn't start attending school regularly that I wouldn't be deemed Gillick Competent and therefore, wouldn't be able to start T until I was 18.

That caused me to start having panic attacks almost daily, both while I was getting ready for school and at school drop-off. I was a complete mess, because this psychiatrist held the power to deny me medical care over something that had nothing to do with my ability to comprehend or consent to HRT. I wanted to file a complaint so badly, but my dad wouldn't let me, he said that he didn't have an opinion on it because he wasn't a medical professional and therefore didn't know the standards. So I bit my tongue, because if I did file a complaint she would know who did it, and even if she didn't she would still be kicked off my care team, and then I would have to wait months for a new psychiatrist which wasn't an option, so I clenched my teeth and let her words cause me a depressive episode.

There is so little information regarding transition for minors in WA, that even when I specified what state I was in, I still got info for the other states. So many doctors are still ignorant when it comes to the LGBT+ and trans people, that my own paediatrician tried saying that if gender roles didn't exist, or if a trans person lived on an island isolated from society, that gender dysphoria wouldn't even be a thing. Which is completely untrue, and I was in too much shock from hearing such utter bullshit that I didn't even respond.

I wanted to file a complaint, but my dad argued that he was just being "supportive" in his own way, and that because he was also both my brothers paediatricians, he couldn't possibly have some bias against me, because he's known our family for over twenty years. Mind you, that doctor is known for being dismissive towards girls/females/AFABS with autism and he is very "old fashioned" (cough, ignorant, cough), so why the fuck wouldn't he be ignorant towards the actual science around gender dysphoria?

And then a member of a political party in my state recently proposed that if she was voted into Parliament, that she would ban HRT, Puberty Blockers, and gender affirming surgery, for under 16s.

Which is quite... funny, because HRT is already illegal here for under 16s and you have to have a psych eval that takes years, surgery is only done in cases where gender dysphoria has been documented from a young age and only after multiple very long, very tedious psychological evaluations and even then there still aren't any surgeons in the entire state that would do affirming surgery on minors.

And then banning puberty blockers for under 16s is just fucking horeshit, because how the fuck do you expect puberty blockers to work on someone over 16?? There is nothing to block! Most teens have gone through Tanner stages 1,2 and 3 by age 16 so there are no more significant changes to be prevented, except maybe height but even then its not a guarantee.

She only announced this after it was confirmed that the gender reassignment board would be abolished, therefore making it so that trans people no longer have to have genital surgery to have their sex markers changed in our state, y'know, something that most of the other states have already done.

I'll probably continue this post after i get the rest of my thoughts in order, so I'll tell you all (glances at 50 followers, most of whom are bots) more about how shitty this state is for trans minors maybe in a few days.

This is absolutely horrid

thought they needed a little reminder that they still have far more to lose if they double down on this stupidity. spread the word, it seems they're... very forgetful about this.

im seeing this post go around. op is a terf.

okay so I'm trans and as a result a lot of people try to argue with me about who I am. I understand this can be overwhelming for many people who just cracked their egg so this post is a basic guide on things people say.

I"'M AN ATTACK HELLICOPTERRRR". sometimes people say this out of ignorance of how being trans works. some people say this cause they know how annoying it is but still don't know why. either way, the best way to handle this (IMO) is to put them on the spot and ask so many questions that even they stop laughing.

"WHAT'S IN YOUR PANTS" why ya wanna look huh? if you wanna tell me something there are other ways yk. after you say those 2 magic sentences, they get quite scared. FEAR IS GOOD. FEED OFF OF THEIR FEAR.

if they bring up trump or state just talk about each individual's criminal record. normally they shut up

if it gets into religion, all religions have some version of love thy neighbor that you can use. please be aware that the bible's verses have been manipulated in the past for homophobia and transphobia, most notable in the 1920s

this book is gay does get into depth with this stuff. if you want to make a long term impact, I would recommend getting into social psychology and learning about biases and mere exposure (the topic of another post lol)

hiii! im planning to go to my district's board meeting about lgbtq bullying and support, can tumblr help me out here? i know I gotta bring up nex and stuff bc people istg. anyone have ideas????

An Outed Secret.

So, this one's a bit weirder than what I usually write. I just wanted to post something. Also, I just chose random names.

Summary - Nathan bullies the shit outta Simon. Usually. So, when someone reveals a huge secret of Simon's that changes his life, Nathan goes completely bat-shit.

TW - Swearing, bullying, harassing, outing someone's gender, transphobia

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was never a surprise to find Nathan kicking Simon’s ass.

Complete opposite, they were. Simon was more creative and constantly scolded to act “normal” in the views of others. He was always different. Nathan was more harsh and stern, always following expectations of being strong and cruel. Even as opposites, they always cross paths.

And shit always hit the fan.

Nathan would always torment Simon, even for the smallest things. Accidentally sit next to his desk in physics? Punch in the face. But no one ever batted an eye. Not cause they were scared of Nathan, no. Because no one cared enough about Simon to be worried.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was another chaotic day in Black Diamond High School; A prestigious school, usually for the highly academic kids or the rich ones.

Simon was the mix of both.

Simon’s father was an important figure in the government, and his IQ was higher than most. It didn’t help his situation, being intelligent. It just made him more of a target for thinking differently.

Simon sat down at a desk in Chemistry, hours more preferred class. Most of his “friends” were here. At least, people who tolerated him.

He fiddled with his pencil, eying the clock warily. Nathan sat at the other end of the classroom and prayed it would stay that way. The teacher should be coming in a few minutes. “Just stay unnoticed,” he mentally told himself. Sadly, Nathan wasn’t the only one who found Simon weak and pathetic.

“Aww~ Is the freak sitting alone?” He heard a cackle and slowly turned around to face him. It was Orion, his second least favorite. Ruffling his hair, Orion gave a shit-eating grin. He plopped down on the seat next to Simon. “So, freak,” Orion started, making Simon flinch. Freak was his least favorite insult. Mostly because he believed they were right. “I heard that… you have a little secret? Is it true?” Simon looked at Orion in confusion, wondering what he was hinting at. Orion rolled his eyes, huffing.

“Is it true you’re a girl?”

Simon dropped his pencil, making the entire class’ attention go to them. Orion snickered at Simon’s horrified face. “So it is true! You are a girl! Ha!” He started laughing, and most of the class joined. Insults were hurled at him, calling him tranny, freak, and girl. He put his head on his desk and covered his ears, failing to see Nathan glaring at Orion.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next few days at school we’re shitty. There was no sugarcoating it. The ones who were decent to him abandoned him, not wanting to be a victim. His locker was vandalized with trans slurs and swears. Almost everyone threw insults through the hallway. When he went to the male restroom, he was thrown out for being a “pervert.”

Life sucked.

Today was no different, in full honesty. Simon was shoved against a locker, groaning in pain. “Can’t believe you’re this pathetic, girly.” Wincing, he was face to face with Orion. He quickly punched his stomach, making Simon yelp in pain. He clutched his stomach, the surrounding crowd laughing. Orion yelled insults, the others joining. Simon curled into a ball on the floor, crying silently. He looked up enough to see Orion about to throw a punch at his face.

At least, until someone pushed Orion away.

Orion was shoved before he could deliver the punch. Simon looked in the other direction, realizing the person was Nathan.

Nathan just saved Simon from a punch.

Nathan just saved Simon from a punch.

Glaring, Orion got up and grabbed Nathan by the collar. “The fuck was that for?!”

“For being a dick!” Nathan quickly punched Orion in the face, causing him to let go and clutch his jaw in pain. Orion was seeping with anger, tackling Nathan to the floor. People quickly flooded around them, attempting to get a close-up view of the fight. Simon got up and pushed his way to the front. Nathan was on top of Orion, pulling at his hair and clawing at his face. Orion was grabbing his shoulders, desperately trying to push him off. Orion had a bloody nose with a black eye forming. Nathan had a slap across his face, but nothing too major.

Simon could see in the distance a few teachers and officers sprinting to the scene. They shoved the other students out of the way and pried Nathan off. Still, Nathan was trying to resist and punch Orion. Some teachers had medical kits, trying to put ice on his black eye.

Simon gasped, recoiling when Nathan tried to punch the security guard. He slowly backed away and rushed out of the hallway.

The thought of Nathan fighting Orion lingered in the back of his head.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Later that day, everyone avoided Simon.

It confused him. I mean, a few hours ago, everyone was beating him up, calling him slurs, and even threatening to reveal even more personal information. Now everyone ignored him. Some even looked scared or threatened by his presence. He shrugged it off, going on with his day. It was quite nice not being harassed every second of the day.

While walking past a hallway, there was another, smaller crowd. He was about to walk past, having enough drama for now, but heard a familiar voice.

“You little shit.”

Simon paused. Was that—

There was a bang against the locker. He could hear someone whimpering and trembling from fear, along with the flashes of photos and video recordings. Curiosity got the best of him, and he shoved his way through. Looking at the scene, he saw Nathan holding some girl by his collar against the locker. Simon recognized her as one who poured her yogurt on his head in the cafeteria. Nathan slammed her body into the locker again and growled with anger. “Fucking answer me! Did you do it?!” His grip grew tighter, the girl shaking while her friends watched. Nathan scoffed, pushing her to the ground. Her friends helped her up, but they were all visibly scared. He looked at the girl sympathetically. The girl and her friend group glared at him but stopped immediately when Nathan gave them a death stare. They scurried off, and the crowd slowly dispersed when the action ended. Simon was about to leave until a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Simon.”

He jumped slightly, turning around. As he guessed from the deep voice, it was Nathan.

“N-Nathan, hi, Nathan, hi!” Simon stuttered and stammered, still nervous and socially awkward. He was always scared of Nathan. Just because he saved his ass earlier today doesn’t mean he’ll forget everything he did for years.

Nathan rolled his eyes, glaring at Simon. Still, there was something more in his eyes. Nathan never let go of his shoulder, keeping his grip tight, yet loose. His eyes softened when he saw how nervous Simon was. “Is it true?” He asked.

“What?”

“Are you really trans?” Nathan muttered, but his voice lingered with understanding. Simon let out a heavy sigh, putting his hands in his pockets. “It’s… a touchy subject.” Nathan looked deep into Simon’s eyes, finding nothing but the truth. “Right.” There was an uncomfortable silence between them, knowing it was a serious and personal topic.

Nathan looked like he wanted to say more, but decided against it. He suddenly grabbed Simon into a strong hug. It felt forced, but Simon thought it might be because he hadn’t had a hug in a while. It was quite awkward. Bring in a hog with someone who punched him in the face.

Still, it’s the thought that counts.

Nathan pulled away, and Simon swore he saw him slightly blush. Nathan did a fake cough and folded his arms. “I… I have to go.” He moved past Simon, probably going to his next class. Simon just stood there, thinking about what happened. So, his bully is not transphobic, hugged him, and blushed?

He shrugged it off, walking in the opposite direction. The blush was probably from embarrassment, right?

Right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

i just randomly wrote this a few months ago. And then I found it, and decided "why not?" Anyways, I don't like it, but I said the same thing about Caretaker and I got a few comments that they loved it, so I don't know if I should say it again. Anyways, bye darlings!

Little update: tw transphobia: I don't own the original footage, nor do I entirely know the context except for the fact that Lyle is having issues editing footage of himself lol.

Anyways, I added text over it because I have a bit of a story to share, and I don't feel comfortable sharing to my Instagram or Facebook, cause I'm not sure I want my mom to see it just yet.

So me, my sis, and my mom went out together and had a lot of fun, basically I don't want to say too much but I feel like they were BARELY trying with my new name and pronouns. Of course it's ONLY been maybe a month since I've notified them, but it's been longer since I've had them on ALL social media platforms and even longer still since I knew I was and am trans.

I first knew I was nonbinary before realizing that I'm also trans masculine, which is a bit silly, but my gender journey isn't completely linear.

When our mom left to go back home she said "don't focus on the pronouns" and I was cheekily smiling but in my mouth I wanted to spew out "go fuck yourself" but I REALLY didn't want to deal with her reaction and all the new stuff going on today (don't worry, it's good stuff mainly.)

I feel like she may not understand, because she's old, about twice as old as me. So I NEED to give her some grace for that, no really I feel like I need to. But sometimes it just makes me feel like I'm not making any progress.

I'd like to medically transition in some fashion, legally, too, but I'm not sure how to figure all that.

I have another therapist appointment this week, and I do NOT plan to miss them. They SAID they would get me a gender therapist, I would like someone to just even TALK to about the whole thing. I knew that I've mainly been a guy for maybe my entire life, or just feel REALLY uncomfortable with femme terms being used for me basically. My pronouns are he/they/it. Yes, it is one of them. I just don't know if I want to explain myself there, but I have been involved in the furry community a little bit or at least like drawing anthro characters from time to time.

But that's besides the point. I am a person, I'm not a she, I have a life, ever since I've realized how much it bothers me to be called she, the more it hurts. I however, STILL like presenting somewhat femininely, and some people may have some trouble understanding that.

I could go on and on about how I both care about my gender and don't care at the same time. Like I feel like I don't matter even though I'm continuously coming out, being brave, and feels somewhat surreal that I'd finally see the day that I'd stop denying how I feel on the inside. Of course there will ALWAYS be bullies. Know that I stand with you trans folks of all kinds. I'm not going to cut off my mom from my life, or my sister. I KNOW they are trying to understand. This IS a phase of my life, but that's not to say that I'll go back in the closet. I want to be out, even if I'll be uncomfortable a lot, even if I'll be exhausted a lot. I just want to make sure other trans folks are safe too. Don't come out unless you are safe. I wasn't even sure I would be. I'm gonna start arming myself in case something DOES go wrong though. Not heavy artillery, just smaller stuff, more defensive. Make sure you have a great support system.

Anyways, as far as art goes, idk, maybe catch me on Instagram? But just keep in mind my mom is on Facebook.

when i was

a young boy

my mom said

“you are a girl not a boy”

and i cried myself to sleep

🎵🎵🎵🎵

i’m fuming i hate twitter so usually the only time i’ll interact w it is through my twitter recs sent per email and one tweet in the last email they sent me was this transphobic terf bullshit article about how lesbophobic it is that susan stryker was speaking at a lesbian convention because she “isn’t a woman” and other really horrific horrific things and jesus christ i’m just so fucking angry right now i can’t stand twitter. i can’t stand terfs. I can’t and won’t stand for other cis lesbians hiding behind excuses to hide their blatant and disgusting transphobia.

Well yeah; Karl Marx said it himself that the spectre of communism is haunting Europe!

What do you have against terfs? If anything, it's misogynistic of you.

Because I care about trans people. Hope this helps.

Kurt Cobain Will Have His Revenge on the Straights

Had a video call with my brother Chuck the other day.  Things got heavy:

KATE: Was Kurt Cobain a trans woman?

CHUCK: What?

Kurt Cobain.  Rock musician.  He was in a band called Nirvana.

I’m familiar with him, yes.

Was he a trans woman?

Um.  No?

OK.  Why not?

I mean, he wasn’t.  It’s like asking why he wasn’t an astronaut.

He wasn’t an astronaut because he never went to space.  Why wasn’t he a trans woman?

Because he didn’t transition.  I mean, he didn’t ever say he was a woman, didn’t ever say he was trans.  So no.  Kurt Cobain wasn’t a trans woman.

So someone is trans if they say they’re trans.  Self-determination.

That’s what you’ve told me.  Is that wrong?

No, that’s right.  We know ourselves better than anybody else can know us.  If we say we’re trans, nobody can say we aren’t.

And Kurt Cobain never said he was trans.

So was I trans in 1994?

I don’t know, were you?

Yes, but if you’d asked me in 1994, I would have told you “no”.

So if I tell you I’m trans, I’m trans…

Right.

But if I tell you I’m cis, I might still be trans?

If you tell me you’re cis, I believe you.

That’s not the same thing as “I’m cis”.

That’s a really good point.  This is sort of what some queer people are getting at when they say “gender is a construct”.

Come again?

Well, you’re cisgender, right?

As far as I know, yes.

Aha.

Hmmm?

You hedged.  “As far as I know” isn’t the same thing as “yes”.  “As far as I know” opens up the possibility that you could be trans and not know it.

It doesn’t seem terribly likely.

That’s an interesting statement.  Early on in transition one of the biggest problems I had was dealing with the sheer unlikelihood of my being trans.  I mean, I knew trans people existed.  I knew somebody had to be trans.  I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that it would be me.

Do you think this is why you’re on this whole “Kurt Cobain was a trans woman” kick?

Hey now, I’m just asking questions.  You know.  Like J.K. Rowling is “just asking questions”.

Kate, you are literally wearing a T-shirt that says “KURT COBAIN WAS A TRANS WOMAN” on it right now.

Am I?  Oh, shit.  I thought I was wearing my “Skip school, take hormones, kill God” T-shirt.  To your question, though - yeah, I do think that’s part of it.  Honestly, the hardest thing about growing up trans was believing that nobody in the world had ever experienced what I was experiencing.  I didn’t have any role models.  I didn’t wonder if I was the only one.  I was convinced of it.

So being able to say that this incredibly gifted songwriter, the voice of a generation, was a trans woman like you…

I need someone like that.  I need to not be the first of my kind.

Of course you’re not the first trans woman.

No, but before a couple of years ago almost every trans woman would tell you they always knew, unquestionably and innately, that they were women.

So it’s not just about him being trans, but specifically his being a trans woman who didn’t know he was a trans woman.

An egg.  Right.

Why Kurt Cobain, anyway?  What’s so special about him that you’re trying to induct him into the Egg Hall of Fame?

He knew things.  Things cis guys don’t know.  Things I didn’t know until after I started transition.  He understood women, what we’re like, what we experience.  “Pennyroyal Tea”.  “Rape Me”.  I just have a hard time thinking of a cis man who could write songs like that.

It wouldn’t be the only way in which he was exceptional.

True.  Ahhh.  I don’t know.  I mean, I know, I can give you all the reasons, but there’s something in his eyes.

Something in his eyes.

All the pictures of him.  No matter what he’s doing.  If he’s grinning, or sad, whatever he’s doing, you can see something trapped there.  Trapped and in pain, wanting to get out but not quite knowing how.

Huh.  You, uh, know that what you’re doing is pretty much the textbook definition of projection, right?

Maybe.  Chuck, do you think I’m happier?

Since you transitioned?

Yeah.

Of course.  Absolutely.  Night and day.

Everyone says that, and honestly, I see it.  Even in pictures, you know?  I see it.  You’ve seen some of my transition timelines, right?

You do look really different.

It’s not just me.  Every single person who transitions looks like that.  We look so much happier, so much more alive, so much more us.  I don’t understand how anybody can hate us.

I don’t get it either, Kate.

And when I look at any timelines, I look at the before photos… and I see something in their eyes.  Transmasc, transfem, doesn’t matter.  There’s something trapped wanting to get out.  Every picture I’ve ever seen of Kurt Cobain looks like the “before” picture on a transition timeline.  It’s just that with him, there aren’t any after pictures.

And it’s not just the eyes, either.  The way he dressed, the whole “grunge look”.  It’s just literally egg fashion.  We dress with total disregard for our appearance or how we look because no matter what we do it’s wrong.

“Egg fashion”, egg this, egg that… isn’t it a little bit anachronistic, judging him by 2022 standards, 2022 values?

Is it?  Chuck, I was alive in 1994.  I was an 18 year old egg.  I know what that feels like.  I know what that looks like.  I lived that.  Why didn’t I come out as trans in 1994?  Because I didn’t have the opportunity.  Because self-determination needs to be informed, and none of us were.  None of us.  Look.  You know what he said to Melody Maker in 1991?  “I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all.”  That’s what he said.

Holy shit.  Really?

Really.  September 14, 1991.

Hold on, let me look that up.  Oh, yeah, I see it.  Look, if you look at the full quote he’s just saying he’s not a jock.  Like he didn’t fit in with the jocks. 

Well, what about the dresses?

What dresses?

Kurt Cobain wore a lot of dresses.  Like, a lot, both onstage and off.  On MTV in 1991, he said “It’s ‘Headbanger’s Ball’ so I thought I’d wear a gown.”  He said in a 1993 interview, “I personally like to wear dresses.  I wear them around the house sometimes.”  This is not some shameful secret he kept hidden from the world.  He was open about this.  He was proud about this.

Yeah, but… it’s just clothes.

Except it’s not just clothes.  Listen to his songs.  Listen to his lyrics.  “Should have been a son”.  “I’m a lady, can you save me?”  “Everyone is gay.”  The original lyrics to “All Apologies” from his journals – “Boys write songs for girls.  Let me grow some breasts.”

I mean they’re song lyrics.  There are all kinds of ways to interpret song lyrics.

Sure.  All kinds of ways.  You ever read Michael Azerrad’s biography of Cobain, Come As You Are?

Nope.

Azerrad spent weeks talking to Cobain.  He was Cobain’s biographer, but also his friend.  And he has his own interpretation of the lyrics.  For instance, Azerrad talks about all the lyrics about guns, and to me, now, I look at that, and I think of how he died, but Azerrad, when Kurt was alive, he looked at it another way.  He thought it’s about dicks.  “To paraphrase Dr. Freud,” he says, “sometimes a gun is just a gun.  But not this time.”  He talks about “Come As You Are”, where Kurt keeps singing “I swear I don’t have a gun.”  That’s not my interpretation.  That’s never been my interpretation.  That’s what this cis man says.  More than one cis man.  Kurt says Dave Grohl’s dad, he said the same thing.  Yeah.  There are all kinds of ways to interpret lyrics.

“By this time,” Azerrad wrote, “one begins to wonder how Kurt rationalizes being a man at all.  His first response is revealing.  ‘I don’t know,’ he says.  ‘Castration.’”  I don’t wonder how Kurt rationalizes being a man.  I rationalized “being a man” in all kinds of ways.  What strikes me is that he needed to rationalize being a man.  Had to come up with some kind of excuse.  It just strikes me kind of funny.

Kurt’s songs have meanings.   The lyrics to “In Bloom”, Kurt was pretty explicit about that.  The lyrics he wrote have meanings.  “Heart-Shaped Box”.  You know what that refers to?  When Courtney Love was flirting with Kurt, Michael Azerrad says in Come As You Are, “She gave Dave (Grohl) a package to give to Kurt – little sea shells and miniature teacups and a tiny doll, all packed into a small heart-shaped box.”  A tiny doll locked away inside a box shaped like a heart.  That was what I felt like before I came out.  A tiny phantom doll.  Kurt and Courtney first kissed after a show at the Cabaret Metro in Chicago.  Rumor was that they fucked against the bar, but they denied it.  What actually happened, Azerrad says, is that “Courtney had a bag of lingerie with her for some reason and Kurt ended up modeling the contents.”  And then they went to Kurt’s hotel room and they fucked.

You’re making it sound…

Maybe it was.  Because you look at that and you think that if it was like that, it was perverted and wrong, because that’s what you were told, that it’s a sick fetish thing, and I look at it and it isn’t.  To me, that’s normal.  That Kurt Cobain was sexually aroused while wearing Courtney Love’s lingerie, that’s normal.

Kate, he was a punk!  He hated jocks, and wearing a dress pissed off jocks, so he wore dresses.  He talked about wanting to wear a dress and piss on a redneck A&R man’s desk!  You think that was some kind of sex thing?

Sexuality is part of being a woman.  Part.  Rage – and Kurt Cobain had a lot of rage inside him – that’s another part.  Am I interpreting, am I looking at things from my perspective as a trans woman?  Yes, certainly, just like you’re interpreting, looking at it from your perspective as a cis man.  When cis people interpret things, their conclusion is never “they were trans”.  Never.

Ed Wood wasn’t a trans woman.  He was just a transvestite.  He was a man.

Pete Burns from Dead or Alive wasn’t a trans woman.  Sure, he got all sorts of feminizing surgeries, but he never said he was a woman.  Man.

Prince Nelson adopted a female persona, feminized his voice, and recorded a song about wanting to be a woman's girlfriend, but he was also a Christian and believed that being queer was wicked and sinful, and that's the identity of his we need to respect.  Man.

Richard Wright, who wrote the Phish song “Halley’s Comet”, spent most of the 1980s telling everyone he knew he was a transsexual lesbian named Nancy, but after being consistently treated like shit changed his mind about that, so none of that counts for anything.  Man.

Dave Carter was on HRT when he died, but he was just questioning.  He didn’t tell anybody for sure that he was a woman.  Man.

Quentin Crisp said just before he died that if he was younger, he absolutely would have transitioned, but wanting to transition isn’t the same as actually transitioning.  Man.

All men.  Always, always men, whatever they do, whatever they say.  I know how that works.  I was told all these same things about myself for decades, all these same reasons, and now, I don’t know, I guess people will make a personal exception for me, but for everybody else, the same old assumptions, the same old arguments, they still apply.  They’re still legitimate.

I thought we were talking about Kurt Cobain.

And the only way to do that is to talk about him in isolation.  There’s no larger context to consider, no bigger picture.  I can’t really know.  I can’t really judge.

I mean, everybody else does.  I guess I can’t tell you not to.  But all of this circumstantial evidence, all of the dresses and the lyrics that you I guess know the real meaning of – none of that makes him a girl.

Sure.  And nothing can make him a girl.  Because he’s dead.  Because he killed himself.

Oh, here we go.  After thirty years and countless speculation, you have at last uncovered the real reason Kurt Cobain killed himself – gender dysphoria.  Do you have a book deal yet?

Working on it.  And yes, people say a lot of stupid things about Cobain’s death, like it’s this big shock that this guy who hated himself and wanted to die killed himself.

Right.  He was pretty well-known for being a heroin addict, which isn’t exactly something that improves one’s quality of life.

Sure, but why did he start heroin?

I don’t know.  Why does anybody start heroin?

To help him cope with his eating disorder.

Wait, what?  Eating disorder?

You don’t know about that?  He had stomach problems, for a long, long time.  He could only eat certain kinds of food, certain kinds of food that wouldn’t make his stomach hurt.  Doctors looked but they could never find any organic cause for it.  Nobody took it seriously.  So he self-medicated with heroin.  “It was my choice,” he told Azerrad.  “I don’t regret it at all because it was such a relief from not having stomach pain every day.”  I know, though.  Lots of cis guys have eating disorders.  Doesn’t mean anything.

Kate there’s a lot of interpreting going on here.

Yeah, I guess there is.  Is that necessarily a bad thing, though?  Is that necessarily wrong?  Like.  You’ve seen The Matrix, right?

Only the first one.

Yeah, that’s fine.  So you know how important The Matrix is to a lot of trans women, right?

Yes, but I’m not really sure why.  Just seems like a retelling of Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” with extra fight scenes.

It’s pretty trans, though, right?

Clearly.  It was directed by two trans women.

And trans women who watch it – eggs or otherwise – find their own lives and experiences reflected in it in ways that cis people, like you, don’t.

I guess, but the fact that it was actually made by two trans women carries a little more weight with me.

OK, but what if the Wachowskis had died in 2000?  In, like… a car crash or something?  Does that mean The Matrix isn’t a trans film?

Well, no, because it’s still a film made by two trans women.

A film made by two trans women that speaks to the trans experience, and that is recognized by living trans women as speaking specifically to the trans experience.  The only difference is that, in this scenario, nobody knows the Wachowski Sisters are trans women.  And we can’t prove it.  We can’t possibly prove it, and nobody is going to just believe us when we say it’s a trans movie, that the Wachowskis were trans women, because they didn’t say it, they didn’t say the special magic words.  Self-determination.  You know what self-determination meant to Kurt Cobain?  I remember seeing Courtney Love on television reading his note, I remember her interrupting to say that he was an asshole, that what he was saying was bullshit.  She didn’t respect his self-determination.

Um…

“Pennyroyal Tea”.  Cobain told Azerrad “It's a cleansing theme where I’m trying to get all my bad evil spirits out of me and drinking Pennyroyal tea would cleanse that away.”  Pennyroyal is an abortifacient – but, Azerrad notes, only in lethal doses. 

Hell, not just that song.  The whole album.  In Utero.  The collage on the back cover, the one Cobain described to Azerrad as “Sex and woman and In Utero and vaginas and birth and death".  The occult symbols surrounding it, taken from Barbara G. Walker’s The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects1.  There was something inside Kurt Cobain, something inside him waiting to be born, but he was told, over and over, that it was a monster, so he killed it, the only way he could.  By killing himself.

That could have been me.  That could so easily have been me.  I was told all the same things he was.  We all were.  When I was 27?  When I was 27, I was addicted to benzos, benzos they prescribed me because I was trying to bury, trying to kill this thing, this thing I had inside of me.  I was a zombie.  Walking dead.  When I quit, I quit cold turkey.  Nobody told me about the withdrawal syndrome.  Nobody told me it could have killed me.  And if it had, everybody would remember me, everybody would think of me, as a cis man.  Forever.  They would perpetuate the Lie.  That’s why I transitioned, why I chose to go through all the shit I went through.  The writer and musician Margaret Killjoy, in 2017 she talked about what she went through the day before she came out:

“All I could think was: ‘Oh god, I don’t want to die a boy.’”2

I felt the same way, came out for the same reason.  I figured no matter what I did, I was dead.  I didn’t do it live, but to at least have an honest death.  I genuinely believed transition would kill me.

It didn’t, though!  You’re alive and you’re beautiful and I’m so, so glad for that.  It didn’t kill you.

It could have.  Still could.  Transition has helped, has made it easier­ for me, but it’s not that way with everyone.  People have been kind to me, in ways that they aren’t kind to other trans women.  Others of us… aren’t so lucky.

Who are we respecting, exactly, by remaining silent about our shared experiences, our shared perspectives, things we see that you fucking don’t, that you can’t see?  Of course I can’t prove it.  I can’t prove that I’m trans.  You can’t prove that you’re cis.  Cis people, though, cis people never have to prove anything.  Their prejudices are the null hypothesis3.  If I was to go out there and say that Kurt Cobain was a cisgender man, would anybody say I was wrong?  Would anybody object or complain?  Even though my saying that is an anachronism, is meaningless.  The word, the concept, it literally didn’t exist when Cobain died.  Have you ever heard the word “agnotology”?

No?

It means making a false claim to ignorance.  Claiming that we don’t know something that we do.  That we can’t know something that we can.  We know things now, Chuck.  We know what the symptoms of gender dysphoria are.  We know what it does to people.  How eggs think.  How eggs act.  How eggs die.  But we pretend we don’t.  We still pretend.  We pretend suicide is an individual act, even when we know it’s not, that the reasons for it are wholly personal.  We pretend that when someone dies by suicide, their reasons for doing so die with them.  And they don’t, Chuck.  We’re still dying, still dying for the same reasons Kurt Cobain did.  It’s not just that we aren’t allowed to recognize ourselves.  We aren’t allowed to recognize each other.  Individual choice or social contagion.  Those are the options we’re given.  And neither of them are right.  Neither of them are who we are.

Kurt Cobain wrote, thought, talked, died like eggs do.  I don’t care if he never said the magic fucking words.  We know our own.  We recognize each other.  And if someone is alive?  If someone is alive I will go my whole life without ever breathing a word.  Because as long as we’re alive, we do choose, and that means we can choose ignorance.  What I think, what I want, for someone else, for us, it doesn’t matter.  I do that, I follow that code, for the benefit of one person – the egg themselves.  Once they die, all bets are off.  Omerta no longer applies.  Kayfabe no longer applies.

To be queer is to be erased, to experience erasure.  I still hear straight men arguing, as if they have any right to argue, as if they know, that Emily Dickinson was not a lesbian.  Emily Dickinson!  I’m supposed to listen to people who say this shit?  I’m supposed to take them seriously when they say well, actually, calling Dickinson a “lesbian” is historically anachronistic, we can’t apply the standards of the present to the past, and Jesus fuck have you read her letters?  She liked girls.  She really liked girls.  Kurt Cobain was a trans woman.  Kurt Cobain was every bit as much a trans woman as Emily Dickinson was a lesbian.  Refusing to say it isn’t “respect”.  It’s perpetuating the crime perpetrated against Cobain, against every other trans woman who ever killed herself because of the lies we were told about ourselves.  No more.  Kurt Cobain was a trans woman.  I can’t, as an individual, say that.  I don’t have the right.  No trans woman can say that, individually.  But collectively?  All of us together?  The things we see in each other, we see those things in him too.  Not all of them, and not all of us.  Absolutely not all of us.  But enough of us.  Enough that we have the right.  We have the right, and I will fucking say it, and if you don’t like that, you can go fuck yourself.

Kate, are you ok?

I’m fine.

Do you want a hug?

Fuck you, Chuck.

OK, well.  I’m, uh.  Gonna go to the other room.  You should, uh.  Drink some water.  Stay hydrated.  Love you, Kate.

Love you too, Chuck.  Sorry.

Shhh.  It’s OK, Kate.  It’s OK.

1 Diane Purkiss criticizes the occult nature of Walker’s encyclopedia in "Women's Rewriting of Myth", in Carolyne Larrington (ed), The Feminist Companion to Mythology, London, 1992, p. 444: “In Donna Haraway's influential terms, these women may wish to be goddesses, but they are cyborgs all the same”. The work she’s referencing is Haraway’s “A Cyborg Manifesto”.  Haraway was, it happens, an academic advisor to the trans woman Sandy Stone, and her “Cyborg Manifesto” was a pivotal influence on Stone’s “The Empire Strikes Back: A Post-Transsexual Manifesto”, one of the foundational works of transgender theory.

2 Margaret Killjoy, https://birdsbeforethestorm.net/2017/06/im-not-even-going-to-try-to-pass/

3 Natalie Reed, https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/

I both Agreed to This Post,but IDK about the "Changes"....

Superjail rewritten: no racist, creepy or transphobic jokes, or sexism

The only thing good about the show was the shitty creepy inmates constantly dying at least they got that right.

Like come on adult shows, learn from tuca and bertie, u can be great adult shows without havin offensive jokes

Also the Warden is trans 👏

Trans Dipper HC: Their parents are transphobic but Dipper was introducing himself as a boy from the start and Stan never even thought to question it, so when their parents called asking about their "daughters" he was like "SHIT DID I ALREADY LOSE ONE"

Hey so JK Rowling went full mask off and is advertising an explicitly terf store now.. Also sure is weird how TERF talking points usually consistently leave trans men out of these conversations and usually always direct their hateful rhetoric toward trans women.

nukapedia, the official fallout wiki on Fandom Corp, has a culture that encourages doxxing and harassment by members of its official discord server. there is a high chance that the person doing this is a staff member who was recently banned for going on a racist rant, whose behavior alongside the overall culture of the server nearly drove a transgender admin who has been with the wiki for over a decade to resign. fuck them.

@ nukapedia please collect your man

Just had someone reblog my science assistance thing and who supports taking away lgtbq+ rights and is anti vaccine. INSTA BLOCK FROM ME MATE. THIS IS AN LGTBQ+ SAFE BLOG!