Angelic-high - I Only Feel Pretty Empty. - Tumblr Blog

We have different priorities here clearly✨🤩

People treat you so much more differently when you’re perfect. Girls like me don’t get that shit, pudgy and masculine features. I don’t fit any Eurocentric beauty standards, I don’t even fit my own culture’s beauty standards. I’ve got a pig nose, a fat fucking face, fat arms, a belly, I’m built like a fucking gorilla. I lose control over food and pig out.

No matter what I wear not matter how I do my hair no matter how much makeup I put on it’s not enough. It’s lipstick on a fucking pig. I wanna recover so I can eat but I’d end up going to the gym and only feel good about myself as long as I’m going to the gym. I wanna be perfect.

I just wanna be perfect

I’m gonna try to recover

15 hours into my liquid fast and I’m already contemplating recovery just so I can go back to eating what I want while also getting muscle (I don’t want to lose my ass and curves)

15 hours into my liquid fast and I’m already contemplating recovery just so I can go back to eating what I want while also getting muscle (I don’t want to lose my ass and curves)

Food log Sep. 19/20 2024

Binged :/ but I’ll do a liquid fast this weekend and parasite/worm cleanse

Food Log:

Breakfast:

Lemon water (0cal)

Total: 0cal

Lunch:

Celsius energy drink (7cal)

Total: 7cal

Dinner:

Ham and cheese hot pocket (269cal)

Cornish hen (220cal)

2 tbsp, ketchup (40cal)

Total: 529cals

Todays total: 536 cals

Notes:

I forgot to take a pic of the lemon water. I’m gonna stop drinking Celsius bc apparently I thought it was the only energy drink that doesn’t give me anxiety but it’s the only energy drink that’s 200mg of fucking caffeine. I also had a rlly bad dpr episode today during school so I’ll stop drinking energy drinks n go back to coffee n tea juST IN CASEEE it may be influencing my dpr episodes (enhancing it) a whole ass mini chicken is lower in cals compared to a goddamn cup of noodles hell yeah

had a dpr episode during school today is shit

I went shopping earlier today at different stores and dude different mirrors literally morph your body so much how the fuck does my body ACTUALLY LOOK??? At two of the stores my body looks rlly good like slim thick, but I hate how fat my arms n shoulders n face look :/ I wish I was supa skinny at my upper body but thick at the bottom but in a strong way. But I can’t be have both apparently. ugh

Food Log: Sep. 17, 2024

I fucking binged 😀👍

(3261 calories)

(Burned: 184)

Food Log: Sep. 16, 2024

Breakfast:

Celsius energy drink (10cal)

Total: 10cals

Lunch:

Ground turkey/broccoli pasta, a cup (379cal)

Total: 379cals

Dinner:

None (0cal)

Total: 0cal

Exercise:

3,108 steps (103cal)

Total burned: 103cal

Todays total: 286 cals

Notes:

I was going to do a liquid fast but I got way too weak and decided to eat. Ate really low tho thankfully.

Was planning on doing a 20-24 hour liquid fast but I got way too weak once I got back home from school so I ate. Still under my limit tho thankfully

School motivation 📚

Been binging the past weekend which I severely regret bc it was supposed to be a restart weekend but it’s past now so I’ll be restarting tomorrow. I also fucked up with not doing my assignments or readings or exams n did it all late so I’ll be restarting that as well. My families car got fucked up so I’ll be taking the bus again which is a commute so I’ll have to be waking up extra extra early to get ready and everything which I’m annoyed abt but also happy bc I’ll be able to feel that autumn morning again and that crisp air. Im gonna post some motivation for my school and just in general. Wish me luck fuckers

ᛤ

BUT IM STILL GONNA BINGE TODAY TO EAT ALL THE UNSAFE FOODS SO I DONT BINGE THEM AGAIN

I forgot how bloated I get and how much pain I’m in when I binge after restricting low

I forgot how bloated I get and how much pain I’m in when I binge after restricting low