4n@diary - Tumblr Posts
just ate a lot of food and i feel like i could be apart of ‘my 500-pound life’ kill me now
doing this with my friend ⭐️ we on day two
reminderrrrr 🪽⭐️
ive finally started counting again, it feels so good
when you are hungry but she exists
"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
Someone needs to hurt me so bad I stop eating right mf now
I love being a defiant little shit and listening to anti-ed songs while I do the exact thing it tells me not to
I have an 4na buddy and it’s kinda weird cuz she’s like 40 pounds heavier and like her first gw is 130 but my hw was 126 😭😭 and that makes it weird bcuz I’d kms if I was 130 tho my 4na may have made me fatphobic
stats★*☆♪
tw:ed
pronouns: she/they
age: 22
height: 165cm / 5' 5"
hw: 80kg
lw: 62kg
cw: 60.8kg (28/09/24)
gw1: 69kg
gw2: 62kg
gw3: 56kg
ugw: 49kg
been slowly getting back into some @n@ habits so I'll be using this blog to keep track^^
I broke down today really bad.
I've been so stressed out, and I took a plan B which made me feel bad about myself. I always wanted to be a pure virgin, but now i have a boyfriend and Im not going to not, because thats unfair to him. So, I ate like 2k calories, and I usually eat >500. I'm still 140 and its making me want to rip all my hair out. I workout for about 45 minutes a day, which as much time I can carve out. I love looking nice, so my makeup, hair, and outfit is always as perfect as I can get it. So, working out and getting nasty doesn't sound very appealing to me. I literally haven't eaten more than diet coke, and maybe 6 doritios in the past eight days and nothing is happening.
What else should I do to lose weight?
and how do I stop myself from binging?
im going to starve but in a coquette lana del rey buffalo 66 snejana onopka kate moss sylvia plath thought daughter lexapro depression rotting animal kind of way
2/10/2024
TW: etemophobia, tmi talk, 3d, 4norexia etc.
This morning was crazy for me. I woke up at 5am and couldn't sleep, so I was watching television and planning to f@st today. I felt fine until I went to shower and suddenly got really dizzy during it. I ended up v0miting twice but I had eaten nothing (or not enough) for it to contain anything but acid. I ended up on the floor of the bathroom shivering and passing out for a few seconds before waking back up. That went on for a while and I ended up in bed still shivering but less nauseous after I had a rice cracker.
I stayed in bed and ate the other rice cracker in the pack which I think brings my total up to 45 c@lories. I was happy with that until lunch when other patients (I'm in a mental hospital, not for 4na but for general crisis.) brought me a chicken kiev :(. They knew it was my favourite thing on the menu and while I was touched they brought it up for me I was also upset because a chicken kiev is so fatty and has so many carbs and c@lories. I'm guessing it was 400 c@lories which means I've had 445, way more than I anticipated.
It's 1pm now and I'm not planning on having anything else tonight. I think I was feeling nauseous because I dropped my intake suddenly the other day from like 2000 to less than 50, and also because I started my period. Anyway, I hope it doesn't trouble me again. When I was on the floor I really thought it was the worst I'd felt in a long time.
Stay safe and skinny :)
3/10/2024
TW; 3D
I know that in a week i'll loose all contact with my tumblr until christmas, which is really freaking me out!!! I just wanna be back at my lw before christmas (if not sooner.), which is when i'll get my phone back. I hate having strict guardians!!!!!!
I'm going to fast today to make up for yesterday, because after the kiev i had a WHOLE HALF JAR of NUTELLA! idk what came over me to eat that but I started my period so that might be it.
stay safe and skinny!
Issue with 3d in ward (REPOST)
so my discharge date for the psych ward is the 10th, but I don't want to leave for maybe another week after that. Should I tell them about my 3d to buy more time here, but at the same time should I not? I don't want to r3cover, I only just r3lapsed last week.
I REPOSTED BECUASE I SET THE POLL FOR A WEEK AND IM LEAVING THEN LOOLOLOL
scariest thing about 4na is the dreams where you 3at.
Metab days suck so bad i feel so fucking guilty and i feel like i'll just go back to 3ating normally soon.
I LOST 5KG BY NOT 3ATING FOR 4 DAYS LETS GOOOO GOD BLESS 4NA!!!
being scared of liquid c@lories while only drinking liquids for days on end
anytime I put together an outfit all I can think about is how much better it would look if I were skinny
WHY THE HELL ARE PPL TRYNA MAKE ME EAT LITERALLY STOP IM NOT CONSUMING EXCESS CALS I GOTTA BE A SKINNY LEGEND