I Love Them So Much

I love them so much

Happy Birthday, Jeritza!

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Self Hate

Connor X Reader - Self Hate

About: You’ve been down on yourself and Connor is there to help you and reassure you.

No smut. Only fluff.

It's been a long day at the office for Connor. Having to deal with deviants and trying to please and reason with his stubborn partner. Connor sighs. At least he'll be able to come home to his girlfriend and have a relaxing evening. Stepping into the house, the android closes and locks the door behind him before he removes his jacket, only to place it on a nearby hook. Stopping in his tracks, Connor immediately senses something is wrong. His LED flashes yellow when he notices that you aren't around. The brunette analyzes his surroundings only to hear a faint sound coming from the bedroom. Curious yet worried, Connor moves quickly down the hall and into the room. He spots you on the floor, sitting up against the side of the bed with your head and your hands. His eyes widen and his LED turns red due to him being extremely worried.

"Y/N!" Connor rushes to your side, "What's wrong?" He places a hand on your shoulder. You don't look up at him, your head still planted between the palms of your hands. You were afraid to face him. You felt like a fool as he watched you break down into a million pieces, crying like there's no tomorrow, making you feel extremely embarrassed. He's probably thinking how pathetic you are. How you're worth nothing. That you are nothing.

"Please… I'm here for you always… no matter what…" After a few moments, you finally looked up at him with watery eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You sniffled a few times before voicing what's wrong.

"I… I hate myself, Connor… So much that it physically and mentally hurts… I've always hated myself for many years… I hate every single thing about me… I don't even know why you're with someone like me…" You look the opposite direction, not wanting him to see you shed any tears.

"Y/N…"

"I'm serious, Connor. It just doesn't make sense to me as to why you would want to be with someone who is too broken beyond repair… Someone fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, pathetic, empty… I'll never be enough… Especially for you… You're so perfect and I'm… Not… Why don't you be with a female android, huh?... They're better than me… They're everything that I'm not. I'm-" Your eyes widen, shocked to feel soft lips against your own. You notice to see that Connor's LED is red. You wonder what he's thinking. Is he mad at you? Does he hate you? Does he agree with everything that you've told him? The brunette pulls away slowly his brown eyes staring into yours. You can tell he's not analyzing you, that he's looking at something much deeper than that. Something much more. Something that's not statistics or factual. "C-Connor… Why did you-"

He places a finger upon your lips.

"Just… Stop… Please… I can't take it anymore… I can't let you speak about yourself like that… I can't let you feed yourself these lies… I can't watch you tear yourself apart like this... None of what you said were true… Not in the slightest… You're so beautiful that your looks still catch me off-guard and I just stand there, completely frozen… Almost as if I'm going to overheat… You have absolutely no idea of how you make me feel. You were the only one that made me feel alive. The one that was able to help me find myself, to help find out who I was. You're the only one who made me into the android I am today. I know in the past I was never sure of what I wanted due to being a machine, but now that I'm free, I know what I want and that's you. I've never been so sure about anything in my life before. You make me feel complete." A tear runs down the androids face. He pulls you in, hugging you tightly. "I love you so much (Y/N)... Please never forget that…" You couldn't believe all the things that have come out of your boyfriend's mouth. He made you feel so special it was indescribable. You felt so loved. Ever since you met him at the office that one day, your life has changed and has never been the same since then. You wrap your arms around him as well, closing your eyes as you enjoy the moment.

"I love you too, Connor."

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd

Happy Birthday, your highness!

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Someone: Why don't you ever smile?

Me: It's not in my programing.

🖤だび💜

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