Kidnapper: We Have Your Girlfriend.

Kidnapper: We have your girlfriend.

Elphaba, not fazed and reading a book: You mean.. you have Glinda?

Kidnapper: Yeah!

Elphaba, not taking her eyes of her book: Good luck, she’ll probably murder you with her high heels once she frees herself.

Kidnapper: What?

Elphaba, finally looking up from her book: What? She may be tiny but she is scary as heck when she threatens you with the tips of her high heels.

Elphaba: Who else here thought Glinda and I were dating?

[Everyone raises their hands]

Elphaba: . . .

Elphaba: Glinda put your hand down.

Pafnee talking about Elphaba: She can’t be good at everything, I bet she’s a bad kisser

Glinda: [Distracted filing her nails] No, she’s good at that too.

Shensen and Pafnee at the same time: What?!

Glinda: [Confused why they’re so shocked, looks up from her nails] What?

Of course! It’s in both characters to accidentally say it (knowing their luck), but either way whoever says it, they’re both going to become flustered, nervous, awkwardly silent, and gay messes. They are so intensely in love but cluelessly have a crush on one another. I’m also all up for breaking Glinda’s perfect facade, our poor girl (and of course Elphaba) needs break.

Yall know the song What is this feeling in the wicked st, right? What if instead of loathing, one of them accurately says "loving". The music cues and they're doing their thing but one of them goes "loving" and the record scratches and the other goes "what??" Idk I find it funny-

Glinda would 100%, and then would become a stuttering and anxiety mess after. Elphaba would be confused and intensely flustered.

Yall know the song What is this feeling in the wicked st, right? What if instead of loathing, one of them accurately says "loving". The music cues and they're doing their thing but one of them goes "loving" and the record scratches and the other goes "what??" Idk I find it funny-

Elphaba: [Is being arrested]

Glinda: Wow. Sweet Laurine, Elphaba you’ll do anything these days.

Gale force officer: Kid, your friend-

Elphaba: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant asshole

Fyerio in the distance: HOMOPHOBE!

Gale force officer: I’m not- whatever, your girlfriend just landed 4 grown men in the hospital

Glinda: And . . . She looked gorgeous doing it.

Elphaba: They deserved it. One of them told me to put my book down and “de-demonify myself” whatever that means.

Glinda: You tell them babe.

Gale force officer: . . . You know what? I can’t with- whatever this is. She’s free to go and officially, your problem.

Glinda: Yay!

Elphaba: [pauses finishing her escape, handing the officer the broken handcuffs] Have a bad night officer. Go do some useful stuff.

Gale force officer: I hate you

Elphaba: I’m glad

Glinda: Hurry up honey, I need my cuddle buddy.

Elphaba: Coming my sweet!