Growing Up Neurodivergent Is Just.

growing up neurodivergent is just.

"why are you doing that. its weird"

"the way you laugh is weird."

"the way you dress is weird"

"why does your face look like that?"

"why aren't you happy with my gift"

"why don't you talk more"

"why do you talk so much"

"you're annoying"

and then as an adult:

"why are you always worried about what people think of you?"

I will seek my "great perhaps", I will keep on fighting.

I seek for a "great perhaps"; it isn't easy to keep on living while the living tries to end me with their smothering accusations. Maybe life has to be lived that way to understand how it works. I'm not a child, or a hormonal teenager yelling the "LIFE SUCKS!" every minute, I do that mentally.

I've loved too much to suffer like this, people keep on targeting me like I'm some kind of a toy that they have snatched from a classmate they like to bully. It's scarring, these memories and the inferno I am living in right now.

I wish the world had let me keep my childish innocence, but I was forced to grow up, mentally it has been exhausting. Exalting feelings? They lost their way; they never reached me; I'm still waiting.

The mind is funny. It keeps on shouting me; it's deafening. I'd like to end my journey here, but I keep on going. I keep on living even though the world around me tells me not to.

I will keep on fighting; I need to survive. It's a hungry world that keeps feeding on fragile souls. Oh, darling. How I wish I could have kept you safe but I, too, want to be saved.

“Sometimes, the strongest people in the morning are the people who cried all night.”

— Book of prosperity

23rd November, 2023

The earth is retreating to rest, while the humans plough persistently; burning her. She is tired, yet she blooms even in the darkest hour. Guides us with her light, even after all the abuse. She is beautiful, graceful, gentle and loving, but for how long?

“Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.”

— Unknown

“If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

— Tony Baskin