Despair - Tumblr Posts
TWO TINY TORTOISES: AN UNDYING CONVERSATION #8
Just between you and me, I think the lovely Tortoise on the right is a little uncomfortable around our Tortoise pal on the left.
The Eternal Tortoise returns tomorrow.
Little Bittle 57: Battling the Elements
Quoted by some guy from 2,000 years ago.
The much awaited Eternal Tortoise will come to its deadly conclusion tonight!
A Doodle, of Friendship..
This was a doodle I drew once in high school. I enjoy that they are good pals, so I wanted to share it with the Tumbie universe. No Eternal Tortoise today. New ET volume begin on the Monday of the next week, old buddies. I will see you THENNNNNNNN
She is a dead person. She ain't got no home in this world anymore.
FLASHBACK FRIDAYSSSSS!!
Every Friday we be spinning out some old Smallie Comics from the Vault! We keep these babies in the basement till they're ready to see the light of day once more. Now give that comic a kissy. A big one.
smallcomic:
SC#40: Life is Strife
Marriage is a beautiful thing. Don’t take that shit for granted, or else you’ll turn out like this guy. What’s he gonna do now? He ain’t got no friends. He has no one left but himself. But little does he know, he’s the coolest guy ever! Why didn’t anyone tell him? How come no informed him that he is so very cool! It’s a shame. No, its worse than a shame. It’s a tragedy. And there’s nothing we can do. :’(
“Sunflowers Realize the Absurdity of Life”
One of the most classic SmallComics ever made.
I have never drawn a cuter smile...
Fall is here and them black walnut fruits be dropping. This guy needs to take a break from chilling with fruit though imo.
..
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUInEOkpE5x/?utm_medium=tumblr
"Decretum"
SPOILER WARNING FOR PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA!
You know that scene from Madoka Magica? You know, when Sayaka battles Elsa Maria? You can find it on Youtube.
It kind of funny to me that watching/listening to it on loop almost symbolizes something my family and I are struggling with.
Sayaka, exhausted but charging into battle? That's like me coming up with an idea to at the very least improve the situation when the pain hits like a brick wall.
Her getting so easily thrown back again and again? That's my reaction to my family, both of whom come from the around the 1960's, the age where hiding your problems was the norm and that you're apparently weak if you can't fix all your problems by yourself.
Kyoko coming in to save Sayaka? That's my therapist and I, except I don't want to keep having to fight (unlike Sayaka), and my therapist is guiding me instead of trying to take over (unlike Kyoko).
Sayaka rushing in and decapitating the witch? It's me feeling like I've finally come up with an idea that will AT THE VERY LEAST make things a little better. Not to mention Sayaka's "knight in shining armor" motif. I don't necessarily want to be a hero, though. I just want the pain to lessen just a little. I want to say that I'll lessen the pain for everyone, but in the end I think it really is just me.
Her beating Elsa Maria to death? My anger and frustration when my parents say I should just let the family member that's struggling deal with it themself, and won't even give my ideas a listen all because they don't want to "look at the past". I can understand that because I don't like doing that either, but now sometimes you HAVE to face your past.
Madoka quietly pleading for Sayaka to stop? That's me in the aftermath of the arguments. I just want to pain to STOP. It's a pain I struggle with so hard and I can barely escape. I don't know how to deal with it and the thoughts of despair circle in my head in an endless loop and no matter what I do or how hard I try the thoughts WON'T STOP. They will circle for HOURS on end. No exaggeration, either. I don't say things like that unless I mean it.
And then it happens all over again...
I'm sorry if this makes no sense, especially because I can't give any context as to WHAT the situation is, but... I needed to do this and get it all out.
You’re starting to deceive yourself with insincere smiles and forced laughter, until suddenly you remember how truly dull and meaningless your existence feels.
In an instant, you find yourself pulled into the depths of your own mind, like a powerful vortex of thought that leaves you feeling trapped and unable to break free. It's as if you've been twisted into the gravitational pull of a black hole, and there's no escaping its indestructible grasp. Your thoughts swirl around you in a chaotic and dizzying display, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and disoriented.
No one around notices the many fragments you have been broken into, each filled with an overwhelming sense of shame, regret, and disparity.
Despite your self awareness of the darkness that has plagued you, you smile and you laugh hoping you reach a point where you not only deceive others, but also deceive yourself.
douleur-douce/douxsouffrance, the deceiver
So now that reports have surfaced that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is going to direct and star in an adaptation of Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" series, I couldn't help but picture these actors and actresses as the ideal representation of who would portray the Endless for me. Joseph Gordon-Levitt as DESTINY "The oldest of the Endless, Destiny appears as a blind man dressed in grey or brown robes, carrying a large book, the Cosmic Log. The book is chained to him, or he is chained to the book, and within the book is written the entire sum of existence, past, present and future. Destiny seems the most possessed by his function and responsibilities of any of the Endless. He rarely demonstrates much personality. His sigil is his book." Jennifer Lawrence as DEATH "Death appears as a spunky, attractive, level-headed young Goth woman. She wears a silver ankh (representing the afterlife) and has a marking similar to an Eye of Horus around her right eye. She prefers to dress and act casually, and is on better terms with Dream than any of the other Endless. Her sigil is the ankh." Tom Hiddleston as DREAM "Dream's usual appearance is as a tall, pale man with wild dark blue-black hair. He dresses in a shapeless cloak of 'night' with 'flames dancing in its folds'. His eyes are pools of shadows with glimmers of light within. He is known by many names, most commonly 'Morpheus'. He has a long history of insensitivity towards others, and throughout The Sandman, he must come to deal with his past cruelties. He is very concerned with fulfilling his responsibilities. His sigil is his dream-helm, made from the spine and skull of a long-dead god." Michael Fassbender as DESTRUCTION "Destruction is a very large, robust man with red hair, who sometimes appears bearded and sometimes shaven. He abandoned his responsibilities as one of the Endless three hundred years ago, causing much conflict between him and his siblings. Since abandoning his realm, the other Endless usually refer to him as 'the Prodigal" or 'Brother' rather than 'Destruction'. He has a passion for creative and constructive endeavors, but little talent. His sigil is a sword." Tilda Swinton as DESIRE "Desire is beautiful, slim, and truly androgynous, capable of appearing as a man, a woman, neither, or possibly both. Desire has a cruel streak and a long-standing rivalry with Dream. Although Desire is Despair's twin, in a sense he/she is older than Despair. The current incarnation of Desire is the original one, while Despair is currently in her second incarnation. His/her sigil is a silver-tinted glass heart shape." Rebel Wilson as DESPAIR "Despair originally had the same physical attributes as her twin, Desire, but in her current incarnation, she appears as a short, obese woman with greyish skin and irregularly-shaped teeth. She is always naked. Despair has a cold, quietly intelligent manner. She has a habit of carving her flesh with a hooked ring that she wears. This hooked ring is also her sigil." Elle Fanning as DELIRIUM "The youngest of the Endless, Delirium appears as a young girl whose form changes the most frequently of any of the Endless, based on the random fluctuations of her temperament. She has wild multicolored hair and eccentric, mismatched clothes. Her only permanent physical characteristic is that one of her eyes is emerald green (usually the right side) and the other pale blue with silver flecks (usually the left side), but even those sometimes switch between left and right. She was once known as 'Delight', but some traumatic event caused her to change into her current role. Her sigil is an abstract, shapeless blob of colors."
Fancasting for Neil Gaiman's "Sandman": REBEL WILSON as DESPAIR "Despair originally had the same physical attributes as her twin, Desire. But in her current incarnation, she appears as a short, obese woman with greyish skin and irregularly-shaped teeth. She is always naked. Despair has a cold, quietly intelligent manner, and has a habit of carving her flesh with a hooked ring that she wears. This ring is also her sigil." https://tinyurl.com/sandmanfancasting #neilgaiman #thesandman #sandmanseries #filmadaptation #filmindevelopment #shitjustgotreal #dreamfancasting #shutupandtakemyfuckingmoney #shakingandcrying #theendless #preludesandnocturnes #rebelwilson #despair #theendlessdespair
that's what editors are for
A big thing that keeps me from writing is that I genuinely detest my prose. For a long time this caused me some angst because although I genuinely detest my prose I also genuinely feel that my personality and the way that I think is particularly suited for writing, for creating dramatic other worlds. I’ve written about this before, about the inability to tell whether it’s watching so many movies and reading so many books that makes me so dramatic, or whether it’s this need for drama and romance and passion that both makes me want to seek movies and books as a source of drama as well as escape the world that rejects my dramatic nature.
But in spite of all of this I’ve still started to write. I realized that the reasons I think my writing veers towards the “visual” and “cinematic” are also the reasons why I should keep writing prose. I think I’ve got a good grasp of compelling thematic elements, vivid characters (because I just mix & mash from my own life), interesting stories, and good dialogue (again, because I rewrite conversations I’ve had as well as the conversations I crazily imagine myself happening).
I HAVE to be a writer, I HAVE to, I HAVE to. Otherwise what the fuck is all that energy that I spend on my vivid fantasies for?
(from 'a wilderness')
in the middle of the world's darkest and most solitary wilderness,
I am just standing still alone.
I cannot sink down.
I have to keep looking
for the light, which is invisible.
as the frigid wind blows,
I tore all the clothes
I was wearing to shreds.
I couldn't get over it without shivering
and feeling the cold more
and more severely.
made a formal analysis of dean’s reaction in the confession scene! hope you find it helpful!!!
*dying*
I never found an answer because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know now, happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in the being. It’s in just saying it. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies sees you. You’re destructive, you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re Daddy’s blunt instrument. You think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s what you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love, that is who you are. You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless loving human being I will ever know.
You go unwanted long enough that you just stop wanting anything because you know you won't get it.
It‘s hard to tell others what you feel when you are drowning in despair and sadness. No one believes you and that’s pushing you deeper and deeper until it’s too late to save you. I‘m sorry to say that but this is exactly how I feel every day. I have no friends to calling so I drew this. The world can see how I feel.