Sometimes, The Strongest People In The Morning Are The People Who Cried All Night.

“Sometimes, the strongest people in the morning are the people who cried all night.”

— Book of prosperity

How does one stay alive?

How do you stay alive? How can I say alive? I am tired. I no longer have that want to move forward, but still have that little hope of seeing my future. I want to stay alive, but it's getting a bit too hard. I can't depend on my parents anymore, well, at least in 2-3 years. It's scary. The support system that I've known my whole life might not be there for me in a few decades. I'm scared, of how uncertain my future is. How any second everything can change and leave someone happy or leave everyone crying. But humans keep on persevering. But I don't have that in me. I'm a coward. I'm scared of life. I'm scared of living life fully.

I will seek my "great perhaps", I will keep on fighting.

I seek for a "great perhaps"; it isn't easy to keep on living while the living tries to end me with their smothering accusations. Maybe life has to be lived that way to understand how it works. I'm not a child, or a hormonal teenager yelling the "LIFE SUCKS!" every minute, I do that mentally.

I've loved too much to suffer like this, people keep on targeting me like I'm some kind of a toy that they have snatched from a classmate they like to bully. It's scarring, these memories and the inferno I am living in right now.

I wish the world had let me keep my childish innocence, but I was forced to grow up, mentally it has been exhausting. Exalting feelings? They lost their way; they never reached me; I'm still waiting.

The mind is funny. It keeps on shouting me; it's deafening. I'd like to end my journey here, but I keep on going. I keep on living even though the world around me tells me not to.

I will keep on fighting; I need to survive. It's a hungry world that keeps feeding on fragile souls. Oh, darling. How I wish I could have kept you safe but I, too, want to be saved.