Mwah What Up Dawg Can I Requests Dazai With A S/o Whos Very Immature Like Laughs At The Wrong Time, Whos

mwah what up dawg can i requests dazai with a s/o whos very immature like laughs at the wrong time, whos laughs at inapporiate jokes and pranks kunikida. :33

YAHOOO hello hi hey anon!! TY for the request ehhehe MUA also dazai is so silly i wanna put him in a microwave *having a near death stroke*

✦ Dazai with an immature S/O ✦

♫ Walking On A Dream - Empire Of The Sun

✧ warnings : gn reader・ bad writing・slight hint at suggestive jokes・dazai being dazai (what else is new)・crack?・fluff??? (what the fuck is this help…)

✧ summary : some headcanons (my brain is fried) + you and zaza Dazai are a tad bit silly together at the agency instead of workin

w/c : 1K-ish

Youuuu two are pretty much the cause of Kunikida's daily headaches…

…though it's not just Kunikida losing his mind at this point, with both you and Dazai matching each other's energy, the whole agency is praying for peace every day.

Dazai feels prideful when he gets to get a little laugh out of you, it's easy for you to laugh at things and he finds it adorable

Your laughs and giggles feed his ego TRUST

His favorite moments are when you both seem to read each other's mind, later going back and forth between your ideas of how to annoy Kunikida

Both end up getting scolded and lectured by him, and in a worst-case scenario, he forces the two of you to sit as far apart from each other as possible while dumping piles of paper on your desks.

Your laughs also make him burst out laughing as well no matter how unfunny or serious the situation can be

With his way of wording things and your humor combined, it’s impossible for you to not snicker when he says the most normal things

“Dazai can you over real quick—” “I’m coming!” “…….that’s what she said LMFAOOOO”

A hundred percent made you laugh so much once that your stomach AND jaw were hurting

Dazai is silly, so it’s only fair he gets an ALSO silly s/o

…Today was unexpectedly boring. No special cases, no special encounters with the infamous port mafia… no special anything. Just paperwork. The only way to entertain yourself—and slack off from dealing with the paperwork and reporting on earlier cases—was to cause a little bit of chaos. The awkward silence throughout the agency’s office was killing you anyways…

You took a quick glance at Dazai who was sitting across the room and laying his chin on his desk, half asleep and bored out of his mind. He was quick to notice you looking at him and returned your gaze with his shit eating grin. The one that meant ‘nothing but trouble™’.

Your lips parted slightly to mouth the words ‘I’m bored’ to him, but Dazai was already spinning around in his office chair and wheeling his way closer to Kunikida’s desk.

“Heeeeey Kunikida~ So, you see, me and y/n are a teensy bit bored and I was wo-”

“Get the hell back to work, Dazai.”

The blond grumbled in frustration, not even raising his head from the monitor screen in front of him. His hands typed into the computer with speed, making a continuous clicking sound. Kunikida then paused, fixed his glasses and turned his head to you.

“…You too, y/n.”

He added, speaking in a much less annoyed tone than when he talked to Dazai. He immediately went back to working. The brunette sighed, getting back to his desk with a pout. Though, you knew that he was way too bored to have mercy on Kunikida today—or literally any other day.

Yanking one of the forms put aside on his desk in a swift motion, Dazai carefully turned it into a paper plane. He continued doing so until nearly half the pile of papers was gone and paper plane-ified. You raised your head from your own work and watched in amusement.

“Oh? You knew origami and didn’t tell me? Wow, ‘samu, can’t believe you’ve been keeping such great talent a secret from me!” You giggled, clutching your chest to add onto your dramatic act while spinning your office chairs’ way closer to Dazai. He grinned, busy adding the finishing touches to his 30th paper plane, “Oh I can do much more than some silly origami stuff, trust me on that.”

A chuckle escaped from your lips, loud enough for Dazai’s ears to catch it and smile with pride. He was so focused that he had even piqued Atsushi and Kyouka’s interest—along with Ranpo stealing glances from time to time.

You had long begun to help him with whatever he was scheming, making a few paper planes of your own and dropping the 45th? 54th? Whatever number paper plane onto his desk. While both of you were busy with your paper plane making, Kunikida’s laptop slammed shut; though neither you nor Dazai heard it or the sound of him stomping his way to the two of you. Dazai snickered while you counted the paper planes he’d made, going back and forth with the numbers as you kept losing count.

“Goddammit Dazai, stop distracting me! Unless you want to count all this yourself…” You grumbled and playfully smacked him in the head with the plane you were holding. He chuckled and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when Kunikida cleared his throat.

It made you both sink into your seats, slowly turning to face him—arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot.

“Dazai. Y/n. May I ask what you’re doing? It’s not work as far as I’m concerned.”

Kunikida’s tone was surprisingly calm… the calm before the storm, you thought. Dazai, completely nonchalant about Kunikida’s presence, held one of the paper planes up and above his own head and grinned.

“Entertaining ourselves since boredom is ought to kill us~ Why do you ask?”

Out of curiosity, you decided to unfold one of the planes to take a look at it’s contents. Your vision blurred for a second once you realized what all that paperwork that you had turned into planes actually was… While Dazai was busy showing off the paper plane he had in hand to Kunikida, you desperately tugged on his sleeve, tapped his shoulder, shook his hand, anything to get him to stop talking.

“Dazai… have you even taken a look at what those papers were about?” Kunikida cut Dazai off, brows furrowed.

“Hmm? Oh, no not really! What’re they fo—”

“They’re all boss’ notes and reports…”

You whispered to him in a shaky voice, eyes still glued to Fukuzawa’s signature at the bottom of the crumpled piece of paper.

“Handwritten notes and reports.”

All three of you turned your head to Ranpo, who was fiddling around with a bag of chips, struggling to get it open.

“Those are all handwritten by him. He left them on Dazai’s desk not expecting anyone to touch them, knowing that he barely—almost never works… Just thought I’d let you know.”

A long pause. Ranpo then turned his chair around and aside from his faint chewing, the silence in the office had become deafening…

“…Wow, nice work, detective Dazai Osamu…” You mocked, eyebrows knitted together.

“Hey! Don’t throw me under the bus like thaaaaat, you helped too! So cruel of you, bella…”

Dazai gave you a dramatic ‘hmph!’ and awkwardly turned to Kunikida—who was practically shaking in fury—with a sheepish smile, throwing the paper plane at his head followed by a nervous laughter.

“Nowwww before you do or say anything, Kunikida-kun~ In my defens-”

“…DazaaAAAIIII—!!!”

p.s : its been awhile since ive written and actually posted it so this is a bit wonky I KNOW im not this ass at writing please spare my life i have a wife and kids…

i omor…….

soooo I saw a post b4 abt dazai wakin u up at midnight to tell u abt fnaf & it got me thinkin. . .

what if u randomly had enough of dis n decided to wake him up or to interrupt him to tell him about the plot abt ur fav game ? >:D

“babe, wake up, I still haven’t finished telling you about the plot.” dazai shook your shoulder, waking you up. “so, this guy ends up-“ he starts, only to be interrupted by you clamping a hand over his mouth, successfully shutting him up. “osamu, it’s my turn now.” you groggily say, sighing, getting up from your former resting to position to look down at him. “what do you mean by-“ “have you ever heard of white space ?” you raise a eyebrow, at the same time blinking quickly to try and rid the exhaustion you were feeling right now. “what do you mean by that ?” perfect. he hasn’t heard of this yet. “well, it all began when a little boy named sunny-“

hheeeellloooo??? *cricket noises*

< the little mermaid!skk au 3

came back just to yap about this after my once in a millennia idea brewing !!

✧・OBVIOUSLY chuuya is ariel and dazai is eric

✦・king triton? who the fcuk is that i only know QUEEN KOUYOU!!

✧・sebastian is hirotsu because: given his history with skk + his age AND its fucking funny SHUT UP!!!

✦・flounder and scuttle… gin and tachihara… in that exact order…

✧・grimsby gonna be atsushi…

✦・the flags +verlaine are ariels sisters (in this scenario, chuuyas siblings)

✧・max (erics dog) is byakko aka atsushis tiger !!

✦・chef louis is kunikida i hope yall see my vision…

✧・carlotta is yosano because i loved her and that manga panel of her interaction with kunikida

✦・ursula gonna be fyodor… i apologize, fyodor stans… (i was gonna make it shibusawa at first because of his whole ability yoinking thing but then i realized i wouldnt know who his two eel minions would be)

✧・ursulas eel pets (forgot their fucking names) are nikolai and ivan (didnt choose sigma cause his personality is NOTHING similar to those two sneaky little fuckers)

notes : if you guhys have better suggestions for the charas olease lmk i forgor nearly half the bsd cast 💀

*taps mic*

the little mermaid!skk au.

*crowd cheers*

ghuys im alive i swear.

im working on fanfics but im just slow as hell…

warnings : mentions of ab*se・BSD BEAST/BSD spoilers (???)

✧ dont know if this counts as anything but: odasaku wasnt dazais father figure—and as much as i hate to say this: mori was.

the toxicity of dazai? his never ending list of red flags??? the root of it all is mori, because he ‘raised’ dazai; not odasaku. mori took dazai under his wing and influenced him—shaped him into who he is.

all in hopes of dazai becoming a spectacular, one of a kind mafia member, if not the next boss; mori himself speculated that he wouldnt be shocked if dazai were to assassinate him and take his place as the next port mafia boss back in dark era.

…(at age 23 to be precise—dazai is 22 in the canon and current timeline—dazai rejoins pm agenda WILL become reality)

even in 15, when dazai asked mori “who do i remind you of?” (correct me if i quoted it wrong my memory is shittier than a gold fish with dementia)

mori responds with “myself”.

odasaku couldve been the healthy father figure, but that doesnt mean that he actually was. (even though that i desperately wanted him to be…)

so, if dazai was found by odasaku and not mori, then yeah, our sonny boy wouldnt have turned out to be so fucked up. but unfortunately, that isnt the case…

though shoutout to beast for feeding into my delusions! because if there are multiple universes with multiple different outcomes, that means that at least in one of them, odasaku found dazai before mori did!!!

no worries guys!!! dazai is taken good care of in at least one universe out there!!! (head in hands, shinji sitting pose…)

and to end this debate with a lil something, mori and dazais dynamic reminds me of the saying:

“The abused becomes the abuser”.