Maybe Because Its A Crime To Eat It Unless You Happen To Die From Natural Causes And She Convinces Someone

Maybe because it’s a crime to eat it unless you happen to die from natural causes and she convinces someone to let her keep it.

when am i going to meet a woman who wants to eat my heart unironically

Technoblade out here having to deal with seeing his own corpse and Phil crying hysterically at the same time.

He deserves a raise.

I’ve been reading too many how to train your Hoglin AUs and watched the video therefore:

(MCD and injury and stuff)

Techno’s exploring the nether when something goes horribly wrong and then he somehow wakes up in the body of a Hoglin and unable to use any of his stuff. Terribly inconvenient.

Eventually, Techno finds Phil in the nether looking for him and Techno protects Phil on his journey to find Techno. (Very classic)

Somewhere along the journey Philza brings up that his people believes in guardian spirits who appear when you need them most, usually the spirits of ancestors or loved ones.

Suddenly everything clicks for Techno. The terrible thing *did* kill him.

But he can still protect Phil.

Phil’s journey continues. Eventually, Philza finds where Techno died and now Techno has to keep Phil emotionally stable bc Phil is not taking it well.

Eventually Phil calms down some. The journey back to the nether portal is mostly Phil coming to terms with and grieving over Technoblade’s death.

At the end of the journey, near the portal. Phil looks back to say goodbye to the friendly Hoglin only to see it briefly turn into a spectral Technoblade before vanishing, and Phil realizes that Techno has been guiding him through everything.

You absolutely SHATTER my heart with these MCD's holy shit. I love EmDuo so much and the idea of them both coming to terms with what happened in different ways is just HEART RENDING. I love it.

And the realization at the end is just 🥺🥺🥺 my poor heart. You had me tearing up!!!!

The stonks meme, but the guy is Kronk and it says stronks

Just wait until other people start paying Techno in teeth. Or just giving them to him.

Any time an animal dies they take the teeth just in case the weird godling with a dental obsession comes around.

Techno goes to a bakery and gets teeth sprinkled on top of his cupcake.

Silly fic AU where Techno is a godling who sheds tusks which are super magical (think unicorn horns) and Kristin is the tooth fairy desperately trying to work out how much money to put under his pillow

technoblade's 2014 hypixel fanfic is real and actually well written

Another angst idea, this time for the Murderbot series. (MCD)

Something has seized physical control of MB and is causing it to rampage while MB is basically stuck in its own head.

The only thing it can do is to call out warnings or for help over the feed.

MB manages to connect to ART and beg it to stop it.

The only problem is that ART is so far away and there’s no systems around except MB that ART has any control over.

The only way for ART to stop MB is to fry its systems.

ART doesn’t want to do it but MB is distraught and begging it to stop it because it’s in the middle of massacring its humans and tells ART to stop it by any means necessary.

ART caves.

It reaches out into MB’s systems, sharing the space like they have done before, allowing ART to feel what MB does.

MB’s head feels like it’s underwater, and systems go dark as ART cuts them off from MB’s awareness.

The pain, vision, and sense of time all fade away.

It’s just MB and ART alone in the nothingness, plunging MB into an artificial calm.

It reminds MB of when it had been held when it was too injured to walk on its own.

ART says goodbye.

And pulls the trigger.

ART had already cut off MB’s ability to feel pain, so it didn’t feel the electricity shooting through its systems, frying organic and inorganic parts alike.

One moment Murderbot had been floating in the digital void, and the next there was no more Murderbot to feel anything at all.

On the planet below, MB’s body collapsed.

ART would never completely forgive itself.