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Correct me if i'm wrong, but: in Scum Villain, Shen Qingqiu never actually kills another human being, does he? He kills the Skinner Demon, but that's the only fatality I can think of that he committed with his own two hands. Most of the rest of the fights he gets in for the rest of the series, he ends by getting away. Even the Old Palace Master gets done in by the QingSi, not by Shen Qingqiu.

which leads me to ponder: I've seen jokes and fics before about Shen Qingqiu falling prey to a Virginity Detector, but what if Shen Qingqiu post-transmigration accidentally stumbles on some kind of weird PIDW plot device plant or critter that can tell whether you've ever killed a man?

because I think Yue Qingyuan would be very confused. Qiu Haitang too.

the only way shen yuan as shen jiu's biological child works for me is if yue qingyuan is the other parent. the only thing shen jiu would like more than abortions is keeping yue qingyuan bound to him forever through child support payments.

Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.

So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).

And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.

Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.

Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.

Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.

Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!

Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.

Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.

But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.

Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.

Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.

Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.

However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!

Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.

In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.

Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)

So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.

Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.

Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?

Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?

No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!

Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?

Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.

Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.

So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).

So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.

Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.

Though this one is a little... peculiar?

Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.

He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.

Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.

So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.

It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?

However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.

Luo Binghe is confused.

Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.

But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that eludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.

Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.

Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(

Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.

I honestly think that in a Pacific Rim AU the Drift Compatible pairs would be:

1. Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu (they would be the gay scientists. Prove me wrong)

2. Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe (Shang Qinghua loves it and Luo Binghe Hates It. But god damnit they understand each other)

3. Mobei Jun and Liu Qingge (they are in sync on Punching Being Good)

4. Ning Yingying and Sha Hualing HEAR ME OUT: they both have crushes on Luo Binghe at one point and both want to scratch the Little Palace Mistress's eyes right out. They are equally blood thirsty and Liu Mingyan Thirsty

5. Yue Qingyuan was one of the people who almost died trying to control a Jaeger alone

you know what sometimes you see a tweet and you know what you gotta do and now i'm thinking about the state of the internet post-death of airplane bro and his biggest (fan) hater

screenshot & individual images THAT I MADE under the cut (if u even care,,,,,)

(also you can retweet my masterpiece here if you dare)

out of all the possible configurations of binghe and shen qingqiu i think my favorite has to be bing(ge)yuan bc yes yes something about bingge being denied the kind shizun that bingmei has and literally crossing universes to find his own is all pretty and stuff

...BUT mostly becuase there's no fucking way mr peerless cucumber himself shen yuan doesn't see what appears to be luo binghe, assumes he's a cosplayer (logical??) and absolutely RIP this stranger to SHREDS over the "inaccuaracies" of his "costume" and leave bingge in a mix of "how DARE you" and "his sickly demeanor and bitchy attitude have captivated me"

and honestly it's the funniest thing in the world to me

“These are hands?! Then why do I still have talons? You have short blunt talons, don’t you?” He made a lunge for Shen Qingqiu’s hand, only for it to hide itself in one voluminous sleeve. The crane’s excited twittering and general clinginess would have been easier to bear, Shen Qingqiu thought, if he was still a bird. Unfortunately, Shen Yuan had managed to at least partly cultivate a human form. Which was a problem in an of itself.

More Crane Husband AU fluff

Ok, but Shen Jiu being Shen Yuan's father is so funny in a very tragic way. Shen Jiu is a ball of traumas and all types of issues and i truly believe there's not a single one that man doesn't have, so, you give him a baby!Shen Yuan, a little ball of life that depends on him for survival, cannot walk away from him and is culturally wired to pretty much love him and if not, to at the least respect him above all else, you cannot tell me that this man would be normal about him. Also, imagine Shen Jiu, who'd be the type of parent to project traumas the way only a mother could, having a child that looks like him but with a "sweeter" personality (which, by the way, is bullshit, they just have never seen that boy rip into a book he disliked but wouldn't stop reading) that has the effect on men Shen Yuan has, he'd lock that boy up in a tower to "cultivate" and consequently create a rumor about the Qing Jing's beauty who was so bewitching their peak lord father locked them in a tower because that's just his luck. Loving Shen Yuan wouldn't fix him, but it'd create a whole new set of issues that'd cancel out the other ones

Another one picked out by the Patreon

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

~ secret whispers

SQQ randomly speaking English but also speaking it when he's upset and Binghe either picks up a little or learns from SQH but one time when SQQ is upset Binghe trails after him like a lost puppy and wraps his arms around his waist and murmurs, "It's okay, I love you."

Maybe it's something SQQ whispers to him when he thinks he's asleep. His English is shaky and awkward, but the way SQQ's brows unfurrow and his mouth gapes, his hardened eyes turning into something soft and tender and disbelieving makes Binghe nervous in a way he hasn't been in a while. "Say that again," he demands.

"I looooove you," Binghe says. SQQ turns around in his arms and locks his fingers together behind Binghe's neck, his eyes sparkling.

"Again!"

"I love you!"

SQQ makes a strangled little noise, his eyes fluttering shut as his cheeks flush with delight. "Silly little protagonist," he mutters, indignation in his tone, directly contrasting the pleased look on his face. "Do you even know what you're saying?"

"Shizuuun, this disciple isn't smart enough to understand," Binghe whines. Shen Qingqiu nips at his bottom lip in reproach.

"Binghe shouldn't use words he doesn't understand, then!" He scolds, finally switching back to Chinese.

"But Shizun tells them to his Binghe every night," Binghe pouts. Shen Qingqiu flushes, sputtering.

He huffs, "What am I going to do with you," before pressing a shy kiss to his husband's lips. "I love you too, silly thing."

Binghe melts. He knew, of course, that his husband loved him, but to whisper it to him every night in his hometown's language? "Again!" He insists, mirroring SQQ'S actions from earlier.

SQQ purses his lips into a fierce, yet horribly endearing glare. "Shameless!" Yet he still indulges his sticky disciple.

Bonus: now Binghe occasionally asks for English translations from SQH. SQH glimpses one of the scrolls Binghe handed him and immediately throws it at his protagonist son. "I am NOT translating your dirty talk!!!"

The noodles scene from the airplane extras!

Peerless Cucumber dakimakura

transmigrator! luo binghe and system! shen yuan au:

shen yuan refuses to take binghe’s b-points away as punishment—instead, he turns off his voice box until binghe apologises, which happens the moment the “audio off” toggle appears.

binghe calls shen yuan ‘a-yuan’ when he’s being cheeky and ‘yuan-ge’ when he wants more b-points to enable his shopaholic tendencies. shen yuan tried to shut down the system shopping function once but binghe just refused to do anything in the story until he got it back up.

(“i’m on strike,” he said, and listened as his adorable companion ranted for hours at him about the importance of maintaining the narrative and avoiding landmines. it all concluded with shen yuan believing he’s won by teaching his host about responsibility and luo binghe agreeing while browsing the new additions to the store)

whenever they end up in a sci-fi setting shen yuan has to drag binghe away from the android shops/factories. “i don’t need a body. it wouldn’t work. binghe, be good, you have a multiuniverse to save.”

they don’t talk about the tentacle monster. shen yuan has wiped it from the mission logs. luo binghe gets a -5 b-points notification whenever he utters the word ‘slime’ regardless of context.

there’s more i’ve thought up for this but i’m considering actually writing it so i’ll stop here for now. i just wanted all of you to consider the possibility. ponder with me. meditate on it, for those of such inclinations.

what a simple thing it is to be happy

People will claim that Shen Qingqiu is an unreliable narrator which (ignoring the fact that the story is in 3rd POV) is true, but they make the claim in reference to his thoughts and feelings about Luo Binghe (false) when they should be making it about how he views himself. Cause why is this man so casual about the fact that he became a leading instructor at a prestigious school he just happened to waltz into because he was bored? Why did it take an extra to learn that he actually spent most of Luo Binghe’s time in the abyss doing missions off the peak to run from his grief? Why did we have to find out that, due to their bullying of Luo Binghe, he was every Bai Zhan Peak disciple’s worst nightmare from Shang Qinghua???

As recompense for no season 2, I will slowly begin inserting scum villain characters into other various media

[ Depths Armor ] Crim and I drew every* outfit from ToTK to compile into a book, and I'm gonna be posting a few of my favorites!

*almost every set. there were a few we did not want to draw, and also at least one outfit from BotW

I wonder how many gay people are actually transgender & dont know it because people thing being transgender is transitioning when it’s literally just not being cis.

Okay, well replaying Skyward Sword reminded me that I wrote this like a year ago buried in a reblog so I'm just gonna air it out and plop it here.

The first time Link had disappeared, it had caused alarm. Zelda had just gone missing, ripped from her loftwing by a treacherous tornado, and suddenly Link was a haggard mess, dressed in a knight’s uniform, and then gone. People feared that he had been hurt too, a search shouldn’t last after sunset; he wasn’t a full knight, after all. However, Headmaster Gaepora had managed to calm the academy students, and the news spread throughout Skyloft.

It took almost a week for Link to return to Skyloft. When people saw his crimson loftwing circling around the town, a collective sigh of relief fell over the sky island. If he’d been gone consistently for so long, then he’d only return when he’d found Zelda, after all. Not to mention it meant they were both safe.

However, that had not been the case. Link had been alone, tired, and filthy. His clothes had tears in them in certain places, he had strange silky threads wrapped around parts of his legs, dry blood stains were disturbingly evident on his tunic, and he practically had bags under the already constantly present bags under his eyes. He had landed just by the goddess statue and had not been seen since. However, another bright light had appeared in the cloud barrier, unnerving the Skyloftians, who chattered about it amongst each other.

The bazaar had been exceptionally busy that day, and the new red light in the sky caused people to gather there to discuss the matter. It meant there were long lines just to get inside, and Link had not seemed keen to stand among the crowds to get the supplies he so desperately needed. Instead, he’d sat on the bench outside, waiting for the townspeople to eventually spread throughout the island once more and give him the space he needed to prepare for his next trip.

The crowds did indeed start to thin, but as people trickled out of the bazaar with hot drinks and hot gossip on their tongues, they paused, finding the boy passed out on the bench. At first it was amusing; Link often fell asleep all over town. But then it was worrisome. He looked haggard. Everyone in town was invested in this boy’s well-being; they’d all welcomed him into their homes at one point or another, the adults all remembered the little orphan wandering the island aimlessly in the days after his father’s unfortunate death, they all remembered bringing him into their homes with promises of warm food and a pillow to lay his head on.

So it had been collectively decided that someone would fetch a pillow from their home and get Link a bit more settled. Wryna brought a blanket as well, but Greba had pointed out worriedly that Link was still a mess (with an emphatic “He stinks!” from Kukiel). Mallara had gotten Commander Eagus, who had promptly swaddled Link in the blanket and carried him to the academy to tend to him.

After that encounter, everyone on Skyloft had decided that they’d keep an extra careful eye out for the boy.

This new pact ended up saving the young knight-in-training’s life. The next time he came back, he had fallen off his loftwing entirely, caught only by Pipit, who had been notified that something was wrong when Orielle noticed the loftwing’s panicked screeches. He’d been unconscious before he fell into his classmate’s strong arms, and even Groose and his stooges had watched in concern as Pipit had rushed Link to the infirmary.

But today was not quite so dire. Link had been missing from Skyloft for two weeks after he’d recovered (his periods of absence continued to grow, much to everyone’s concern), but this morning Jakamar, his wife Wryna, and their daughter Kukiel woke up to a surprise green bundle curled up in their bed. He was on the edge, barely taking any space, but he hogged a majority of that side of the bed’s blanket. At first Jakamar nearly jumped out of his skin until he realized who it had to be, and he pulled the blanket back just enough to see the curved little ears and fluffy dirty blonde hair that everyone on Skyloft knew so well.

Blowing out a sigh, he turned away and held his wife as she peered over his shoulder. “Well, at least we know where he is.”

“He’ll be hungry,” Wryna commented. “I’ll get started on breakfast.”

Jakamar grunted in acknowledgement as his wife crawled to the bottom of the bed to climb over the wooden frame so as to avoid waking Link. Kukiel shot up and started to bounce on the bed in excitement, and Jakamar scooped her into his arms and also climbed out of bed in a similar manner. The house was silent as the family cleaned their faces and prepped for the day (though only because the parents constantly had to remind Kukiel to keep quiet with gentle shushes and fingers over their lips), and then Jakamar took his daughter out for a morning stroll while Wryna busied herself in the kitchen area.

When he got back to the smell of a delicious breakfast, he stretched and smiled, glancing at the bed to find it empty. He looked back to see Wryna’s disappointed face.

“He’s gone!” Kukiel exclaimed in her high voice.

“I didn’t see him step out,” Wryna said guiltily.

Jakamar put a hand on his wife and smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it, hon. At least he got some sleep. Pack it up in a bottle, if we see him we’ll give it to him.”

Jakamar had the luck to find Link later that day as the boy was meandering around the windmills. Although Jakamar was getting ready to offer the now lukewarm food, Link instead started asking him about the windmill’s missing propeller. Jakamar helped him as best he could, and just as Link rushed off to find Gondo at Jakamar’s suggestion (he figured the robot, though broken, might be able to help), the man called out to him, waving the large bottle with food carefully packed inside.

Link stared at him, confused. Jakamar held out the bottle. “Take it, kid. You look like you’re starving.”

It was a bit of a slip up to admit it to his face. Link often would recoil at such remarks, would cover it up with an embarrassed laugh and then actively avoid whoever said it for a while, which then made it even harder to help him. But it was the truth - he did look gaunt and worn thin. Jakamar was usually a pretty easygoing guy, but this seemed like it was starting to get serious. He wished the headmaster would reel the kid in.

Link’s expression shifted, so easily readable on his face, and his confusion clearly became shame. He looked down at the ground, biting his lip. When Jakamar pushed the bottle into his sight again, he took it wordlessly, but as he locked eyes with the man he gave a grateful smile. Before Jakamar could get a word in, Link turned on his heel and headed for the bazaar.

Jakamar blew out a sigh as he watched the boy run. Hylia look out for him.

(@technicallya1manband @tortilla-of-courage @sky-squido)

in reference to the chain fic

just realized that when Ravio returns home to find the door gone and multiple items missing from Legend’s house, it’s going to look like some one robbed the place

hey did you know that slay the princess is out now? did you know it's on sale with a 10% launch discount until november 2nd? do you want to spend several hours getting sternly lectured by and annoying jonathan sims?? well this is your game i think it's good and you should buy it but don't listen to me look at that 91 metascore—and for us, just a couple of lil guys make a game with no gameplay other than click dialogue options! idk must be fun

“An existentially horrific visual novel, with an incredibly well-written plot, a beautiful score and graphics that will enrapture all senses. One of the best narrative games of 2023.” 10/10 – Voxel Smash

“There isn’t a single thing I don’t like about Slay the Princess. The presentation is beautiful, the story is fantastic and moving, the voice acting of amazing characters is done phenomenally well, and the branching paths of the story give you what feels like unlimited possibilities.” 10/10 – Try Hard Guides

“Slay the Princess will stay with you for a long time, I think. It’s absurdist and dark and haunting in a way that not a lot of games are. If you have an itch for something that’s spooky but also morally confronting and you will be thinking about it for days to come, it’s impossible not to recommend this.” A- – Player 2

Anyways more seriously truly from the bottom of our hearts thank you all so much for making this launch a world-shifting experience for us! We can't wait to share more games with you, starting with Episode 5 of Scarlet Hollow 👀

downfall duo !

Downfall Duo's nightmare

I just wanted to draw the nightmares of Legend and Hyrule, but instead it turned out like this.

If you're confused about why Legend kissed Four, it's because he thought he was holding Marin's hand. And in his dream he is drowning and wants to kiss Marin before he dies.

I love the idea of Downfall Duo creating chaos in The Chain XD

Sorry if my tenses are wrong, but I hope you understand :D